Reviews for Healing the Moon

BY : SesshomaruFreak

  • From Panduki on October 30, 2017

    Looks good so far! I would suggest using a bit more description while you write, to help paint the scene and setting around your characters. Also, try to elaborate on and describe their actions, rather than just stating them as they happen. :) It can be a big difference between: "John rose from his desk and walked to the window" and "John heaved a sigh as he leaned back in his desk. Well, the day had just gotten a whole lot worse, it seemed. Rather than staring fruitlessly at his computer for another minute, he lurched to his feet and stepped over to the window, leaning against the faded and cracked wood of the sill and peering out over the empty street below."

    Those little bit of extra details can really give the mind and imagination what it needs! Keep it up, would love to see more. :)

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