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Behind the Wall	By : GrimmUlquigrrrl Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male > Grimmjow/Ulquiorra Views: 1480 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Behind the Wall
- 1
Ulquiorra was fighting his curiosity.

He had been slipped a note anonymously in second period- well, not so much slipped as he found it taped to his desk. It read as such: Meet at empty math room before sixth. That was all, and at first Ulquiorra had disregarded it, crumpling it and throwing it away on his way out the door. But over the course of the day he had been given the chance to ponder on it, and he suspected that this was the reason why the sender of the note had scheduled this appointment for so late in the day.

The bell rang, and Ulquiorra gathered his things. He did so slowly, buying himself just a few more moments of decision making. He stood up, hefting his backpack onto his shoulder and walking out with a respectful nod to his teacher as the door closed behind him. Out in the hall he walked aimlessly in the general direction of his locker, milling through the veins of students and bypassing the clots of talking teenagers. Sixth period was history, a class I which Ulquiorra did very well, and even if he didn't go to the meeting his grade wouldn't suffer as he took the time to decide whether he would or not.

He got in line for the water fountain, looking forward thoughtfully though to anyone else he looked just the same as always. He mused over who could have sent him the note, but more important to him was the reason why. The handwriting didn't appear very feminine, which was good because he had very little ability to deal with women. He was naturally an incredibly blunt person, and he was no good at sensing when his brutal form of honesty would not be appreciated. Women were to sensitive for his insensitivity. But if the sender wasn't female then it had to be male, and he was not much liked by his own gender, either. He had an awful tendency of looking down on people.

He bent down and pressed o the bars on either side of the water fountain, allowing the cool stream of water to run over his lips. He wasn't particularly thirsty but he took a few gulps of water anyway, and as the bell rang the few people behind him cursed and gasped and ran off to their classes. Ulquiorra remained unmoved, and he took one last sip before straightening his back. He stood there for a moment, the sudden silence of the hallway glaring. Then he adjusted the strap of his backpack and turned, heading off the way he came.

The empty math room, which was currently abandoned due to the young man who hung himself outside of it the year before, wasn't far from his locker. The whole hall had been such down at the insistence of the man's parents, and as ulquoirra pushed past the double doors into the hall he was unsurprised to find that it was dark. Others had said that it was creepy in this hallway, but to Ulquiorra it just looked like a regular hallway with its lights off. The doors closed behind him and he made his way to one of the many others, pausing just outside.

He pulled his backpack off his shoulder and placed it, leaning, on the wall by the door in case it was a male looking for revenge for some comment Ulquiorra had made and Ulquiorra would have to fight. He doubted it, as he had quite the reputation as a fighter, but some people were just too stupid to learn from the mistakes of others. He took a second to prepare himself, then reached out to the doorknob.

Grimmjow Jaegerjaques looked as if he had been pacing the floor, and from the surprised look on his face Ulquiorra could tell that Grimmjow hadn't actually expected for Ulquiorra to come. Ulquiorra let his feet slide into somewhat of a fighting position, because he was quite certain now that such was the reason for this rendezvous; he and Grimmjow had never particularly gotten along, though Ulquiorra would admit that the other teen acted quite interestingly. Grimmjow saw that on his face and straightened up, saying, "Hey, you can relax. I- I didn't ask you here to fight." Ulquiorra felt a sudden spike in his curiosity, but he kept his stance. Grimmjow sighed.

"Okay, well," he said, rubbing the back of his head and letting his eyes dart across the upper parts of the walls, "you-you have history now, right? It's okay for you to miss a few more minutes of that, isn't it?" Ulquiorra narrowed his eyes. What was this sudden display of nervousness form the teal-haired boy? Ulquiorra had seen him many things since elementary school, but nervous was not among them.

"What did you call me here for Grimmjow?" he asked, and for the first time since he'd entered the room Grimmjow looked at him. Grimmjow gulped his hand hesitatingly falling back onto his side. He looked terrified. He took a deep breath through his nose, fists clenched.

"I love you," he blurted. It was sudden, unexpected, not particularly desired, but Ulquiorra's heart fluttered a little- not at the speaker, but at the words. No one- no one¬- had ever said such a thing to him. Not even his parents displayed such affection. The fluttering stopped and he turned around.

"That is not funny," he said in his usual monotone, though something in his chest still pounded. He put his hand on the cold knob, but he heard Grimmjow step forward quickly and felt him reach out and put his large hand on Ulquiorra's shoulder.

"No, it isn't," he said as he turned Ulquiorra around to face him. Ulquiorra looked up at him, confused and feeling odd in his stomach at the nervous seriousness in Grimmjow's eyes. "I love you, Ulquiorra Schiffer."

"You barely know me," Ulquiorra agued, and his voice wavered a little. He knew what Grimmjow was saying, but he didn't understand the feeling it gave him.

"I know that you never put sugar in your tea," Grimmjow said. "Not even when it's black. I know that even through everyone thinks that your favorite color is black, it's actually yellow, but green is a really close second. And I know that you patch up your shoes on your own using construction paper. And that time when we had to say how many kids we wanted for that stupid feel-good class and you said none it wasn't because you don't like kids, but because you know that if they become something horrible you'll blame yourself. And even though you never laugh you think that it's funny when people tell the brutally honest truth and other people have to deal with it. And I know that the reason why you keep your emotions to yourself is that you don't understand them and you're afraid someone else will. And I know that you want to be able to let someone, anyone, behind your wall but you don't know who."

Ulquiorra was not one who was normally lost for words, but he was this time. He didn't know how Grimmjow knew those things when some of it even he hadn't known. "You know that if you let someone in, show them the chinks in your armor, they can hurt you, so you don't let them in," Grimmjow continued softer. He took Ulquiorra's shoulder in his hands, and Ulquiorra suddenly noticed how warm they were. "And I get that, Ulquiorra. And I'm not asking you to let me in. I'm asking you to give me the chance to show you that it would be okay if you did."

Ulquiorra looked at his classmate, and those blue eyes looked so sincere. Grimmjow was asking, just as he'd said, for a chance. Why hadn't Ulquiorra pulled away yet? He realized it was because everything that Grimmjow had said was true, and once it was said Ulquiorra knew it. He truly didn't understand his feelings, like the one stirring in his stomach now, and he didn't want to be hurt.

"Get behind the wall," he said, and Grimmjow blinked at him. "Get behind the wall and tell me what you find." Grimmjow's hands grew firmer and his head nodded. He looked like he understood.

"Gotcha," he said. Ulquiorra could hear in his voice that what was said made sense to him, and he came to a new awareness of Grimmjow's bodily closeness.

They stayed like that for a long time.

~!~

Ulquiorra closed the door as the last lingering partiers left, laughing and chattering. Finally. Grimmjow's house was a mess. He could hear his boyfriend rustling around in the family room, probably starting to pick up some of the left-over trash so they wouldn't have to clean it in the morning before his parents got home. It wasn't a big issue if it wasn't all clean, since his parents were aware of his son's party, but it would win favor if they had it as neat as possible.

Ulquiorra made his way into the family room, where he found Grimmjow bending over and stuffing wrapping paper into a black plastic bag. He had taken his shirt off during the party, when everything had been loud and stuffy and crammed with dancing bodies. Still Ulquiorra didn't have anything to complain about. The past year he'd spent with Grimmjow was the best he could remember, for all the unlikelihood that it had seemed. It had been such a sudden, illogical choice, but it had paid off. Grimmjow shared his passionate approach to life, his smiles and his frowns, and Ulquiorra could ask for o more than that. That feeling he'd had in his stomach that had confused him had become one he looked forward to, and one he had come to associate solely with Grimmjow.

Grimmjow straightened up and must have seen Ulquiorra out of the corner of his eyes, because he turned around. He smiled his goofy smile at Ulquiorra, still holding the trash bag. "Hey, babe," he said. "Y'know, I'm really glad you came. I know you don't like big parties." Ulquiorra walked over to him, the wrapping paper and streamers parting at his feet as he made his way to the taller, more built man. he set his hands on that warm chest and stepped in close, Grimmjow's hands coming to rest on his waist.

"It's your 18th birthday," he said, looking up at Grimmjow's face, which he'd come to think of as ruggedly handsome. "You should get to spend it the way you want." Grimmjow smiled sweetly, and Ulquiorra could see he was getting into his romantic mood.

"Well," he said, rocking them both gently back and forth, "you know, tomorrow's a Saturday. We can spend the whole weekend together, just you and me. Like we did for your birthday." Ulquiorra's 18th birthday had been a month ago, and they had spent it doing exactly what Grimmjow had just said.

"I would like that," Ulquiorra replied, and Grimmjow split into the happy grin tha the always put on when he'd pleased Ulquiorra. "But right now, we need to clean this up." He broke away gently, grabbing the trash bag Grimmjow had abandoned, but Grimmjow took his wrist with a boy-like smile.

"In a minute," he said, puling ulquoirra over to the couch with an urging but soft hold. "The party jut ended. Let's just sit down for a minute." Ulquiorra let go of the trash bag and let Grimmjow lead him the few steps to the rust red couch, sitting down after Grimmjow did. They say very close, their legs touching. Ulquiorra had gotten used to such bodily closeness where before he had denied any form of touch, and he knew that this was greatly due to Grimmjow respecting his boundaries and moving closer so slowly that Ulquiorra barely noticed it. That was one of Grimmjow's many desirable traits; he would refrain

from doing whatever Ulquiorra asked him to, just so long as it made him comfortable.

"But we are going to get at least some cleaning done before morning, right?" ulquoirra asked pointedly. He'd learned that Grimmjow's 'live in the moment' lifestyle made him prone to elongating the moments he liked and not particularly looking to what needed to get finished.

"Yeah, of course," Grimmjow agreed, burying his nose in Ulquiorra's chin-length hair. Ulquiorra relaxed into his touch with ease, trying for the millionth time in moments like this to just immerse himself in what was happening. He thought too much, and no matter how he tried he couldn't make his mind stop to let him fully enjoy things. but hat didn't men that he didn't enjoy them as much as he could. He breathed out his nose, feeling the way his body fit into

Grimmjow's as the other man's arms wound around him comfortingly. Grimmjow kissed his head.

"Y'know, I'm sorry I still haven't gotten behind the wall yet," he murmured.

"It's fine," Ulquiorra said. "I've been trying my whole life and I haven't gotten behind it, either. Besides, as long as you're trying I don't have to." Grimmjow hummed, his eyes closed, and suddenly something occurred to Ulquiorra. He hadn't ever through about it before, but now that he was he could see the sense in it. It was a little bit like a revelation- and he would do anything to know what was behind the wall. Curiously, it didn't bother him as much as he'd thought it would so he said it.

"There is one thing we've never tried," he said, and he could feel Grimmjow's stance change in interest. Grimmjow pulled back a little to look at him, and Ulquiorra met his eyes easily though his insides squirmed a little. oddly enough the nervousness was more rooted in Grimmjow's' reaction than what he had thought of. "Something a little less mental. Something a little more physical." He placed Grimmjow's hand on his knee and saw those sky-blue eyes widen. He'd told Grimmjow months ago when things stared getting more intimate physically that touches on his legs felt overtly sexual to him. Grimmjow's hand shivered uncertainly under his.

"U-Ulquiorra…" Grimmjow aid, and the way his vice came out made Ulquiorra think that his throat was too small for it. Grimmjow's eyes flitted over his face searchingly, but quickly returned to hold Ulquiorra's calm eyes where he ken he could find what he was looking for.

"Does this make you uncomfortable?" Ulquiorra asked him. He saw Grimmjow swallow thickly.

"Does it make[i] you[/i] uncomfortable?" he asked heavily.

"Not significantly so," Ulquiorra answered honestly. Because he had learned that Grimmjow, unlike anyone else, had managed to see the difference between truth and lie on his face, and besides, he didn't want to lie to Grimmjow. They had come to share a bond of trust, and Ulquiorra didn't want to destroy that.

"Define significantly," Grimmjow said. Ulquiorra inclined his head.

"Significantly means that your caution, while appreciated, is not required," he said, and Grimmjow's big hand finally made a tentative but definitive move to

actually hold Ulquiorra's knee. Grimmjow wet his lips.

"I'm going to give it to you anyway," he promised. He gulped again, and his grip on Ulquiorra's knee grew firmer as he leaned against the smaller man, stressing the importance with his body without realizing it. "Ulquiorra, I – I need you to tell me just what it is you're thinking here," he said earnestly. Of course, Ulquiorra should have known that he would feel the need to ask. The ravenm took a deep breath.

"No boundaries," he said, as if it were the simplest thing in the world, looking Grimmjow in the eye. The idea terrified him. "I'll want what you want. As far as you want." Grimmjow drew in a slow breath, as if he was trying to keep himself from snapping right then and there.

He looked Ulquiorra right in the eye with one of those looks that said, 'there's an underlying meaning to what I'm going to say and I need you to understand it.' "Are you sure about that, Ulquiorra?" he asked in a worried way, and Ulquiorra did understand. Grimmjow was warning him that if there were truly no boundaries then he wanted to take it all the way, and he was petrified that it was too far. Ulquiorra knew that he wasn't afraid of being turned down, that he would rather be turned down than cause Ulquiorra any discomfort. Ulquiorra knew that he had to commit now, or he would chicken.

"One hundred percent," he said, putting a falsified confidence into his tone. Grimmjow looked like he thought he was the most privileged man in the world, but he also looked like he was afraid to believe it.

"If that changes," he stressed, "tell me, please. Please, Ulquiorra." Ulquiorra held the hand on his knee a little harder; it felt goo to know that if he truly became too uncomfortable he had options, even if he wasn't likely to take them.

"I'll do that, Grimmjow," he said, more to calm Grimmjow than to make a promise. He knew he had a stubborn will, and he knew that now he'd said he'd do it something extreme would have to happen to keep him from doing it. The words did their job, and with this reassurance Grimmjow haltingly leaned in. Ulquiorra tilted his head up a little and watched as Grimmjow's eyes fluttered closed, and their lips met. They had only ever truly kissed once or twice before, not because it was a boundary but because Grimmjow's idea of a romantic kiss was one on the forehead or eyes, and Ulquiorra liked that just fine. Grimmjow's hand came up to cradle the back of Ulquiorra's head and he let his eyes slide closed.

The kiss was chaste and sweet, a simple caressing o the lips, and slowly Grimmjow's began to move. There was still no tongue, no clashing o teeth, but Ulquiorra enjoyed it more because of that. He leaned in, and Grimmjow put a hand on his waist; the sideways kissing wasn't particularly comfortable, and as if they'd agreed on it they both moved to face each other. Grimmjow sat on the couch on his knees and Ulquiorra sat with his legs on either side of Grimmjow. The new position was far easier, and Grimmjow drew Ulquiorra closer even as Ulquiorra hooked his arms behind his boyfriend's neck. It should have felt strange to do, but it didn't.

Grimmjow's hands, one on Ulquiorra's waist, cautiously began to move upwards onto Ulquiorra's obliques. That did felt strange, but Ulquiorra focused on the kiss and put it out of his mind. It was nothing he couldn't deal with. He angled his head so that his nose wouldn't bump into Grimmjow's and Grimmjow took that as a sign that all was well. He grew more brave and began to allow his hands to move more. They smoothed down over Ulquiorra's waist, and Ulquiorra tried to hold back his discomfort as those fingers brushed his pelvis. He needed this to go slow, so he could grow accustomed to things as thy happened, and he wasn't ready for more intimate touching just yet. But Grimmjow understood how it had to be, and his hands started back up. Ulquiorra realized that he'd never intended to go lower.

He appreciated that Grimmjow knew how far he could go at one time without him having to communicate it. He never liked having to say wait, because Grimmjow always looked guilty in a God-how-could-I-mess-up-like-that? sort of way. Ulquiorra could feel Grimmjow's hands quite well through his sea-green button-down shirt, and as they traversed the same road over and over again Ulquiorra began to get used to it. As he did he found that he enjoyed the way it felt, and he moved his lips against Grimmjow's with more vigor. Grimmjow seemed to know how that meant Ulquiorra liked it, and he continued with it happily.

Grimmjow's fingertips slipped under the bottom of Ulquiorra's shirt, brushing the sensitive lower belly, and Ulquiorra stiffened a little. Immediately Grimmjow's hands retreated, quickly moving away from the lower areas to rest again on his ribs. One of Grimmjow's hands went to Ulquiorra's top few open buttons instead, gently running his fingers over Ulquiorra's collarbone. Ulquiorra relaxed. He was grateful to Grimmjow for restarting up higher, where it would take longer to get to the ultimate goal, and though the touch on his collarbone was odd Ulquiorra liked it immediately. He much preferred it, and Grimmjow could tell. Ulquiorra breathed out his nose, relaxing even more into the touch and the kiss.

There was something about the way Grimmjow's skin felt against his that was highly pleasurable to Ulquiorra, and he began to want more of it quite quickly. As if Grimmjow could read his mind, his hand trailed light touches over the whole of the exposed triangle of skin at his disposal and his heat seeped into Ulquiorra's chest. It always had, ever since the first time Grimmjow held him, but Ulquiorra would not have believed that he could find it as sexual as it was comforting if he had been told. He began to feel, honestly, just a prickle aroused by the soft touches.

Grimmjow brushed the backs of his knuckles against the whiteness of Ulquiorra's skin, to which Ulquiorra sighed quietly. Grimmjow gently broke the kiss and Ulquiorra's eyes opened a crack, but already Grimmjow was nuzzling his cheek against the side of Ulquiorra's head and his face was hidden for view. His lips were right by Ulquiorra's ear as he asked, "I- … I want- to touch more of your skin, Ulquiorra. Can I do that?" his hand went flat, pressing lightly against Ulquiorra's upper chest to make it clear what skin he wanted to touch. Ulquoirra breathed in, assessing, foling with the wild hair at the nape of Grimmjow's neck.

"Please do," he said, and Grimmjow again took a slow breath to keep from getting too eager. Ulquiorra was glad that Grimmjow cared enough to do that for him. Grimmjow captured Ulquiorra's lips again, probably in a bid to keep him from feeling like anything horribly new was happening, as both his hands came up to work on the buttons. Ulquiorra kissed a little harder, trying not to think about was Grimmjow was doing; it wasn't that he didn't want it to happen, just that he was unused to the feeling of being undressed by anyone but himself. Still, when the last button fell open and his chest was bared to Grimmjow's searching hands he was glad.

Grimmjow's calloused hands both came up, laying flat to feel Ulquiorra better as they slid into that shirt and smoothed over his ribs. Ulquiorra gently arched up, his discomfort quickly dissipating as the enjoyable feel of Grimmjow's hands on his skin made him relax. Really, it was more like it made him melt. Grimmjow continued to kiss hm as he rubbed his upper chest in awe of the soft skin, and Ulquiorra very much liked it. The attention Grimmjow paid to his pecs made his back arc a little more, and when the heel of Grimmjow's hand brushed one of his taut nipples he shivered.

Grimmjow made a little sound into Ulquiorra's mouth, as if Ulquiorra's pleasure or the fact that he'd caused it turned him on. Ulquiorra realized it probably did. He also realized that he wasn't doing anything to reciprocate and felt a stab of guilt, but he didn't exactly know how to pleasure anther man. in fact, he didn't know how to pleasure himself. He'd only tried a few times, and he doubted that his awkward, fumbling ministrations would do anything for someone like Grimmjow, who probably knew just what he was doing when he touched himself. He felt bad, but clearly the thought hadn't occurred to Grimmjow. He was probably content just to have this chance.

Ulquiorra pulled away from the kiss, panting lightly, and looked Grimmjow in the eye. "I don't have breasts, Grimmjow," he said bluntly, touching the side of Grimmjow's face. Grimmjow smiled sheepishly.

"I know," he said. "I'm- I'm just afraid to go any lower." The sweetness of that made Ulquiorra's chest swell, and he hooked his arm back around Grimmjow's neck. He pulled the other man close and when their faces were just millimeters away Ulquiorra said, "Don't be." He closed the distance between them and pressed their lips together. His back truly arched as Grimmjow's hands gingerly pressed downward, circling around his navel, and something that he assumed was excitement grew in him. Suddenly he wanted Grimmjow there.

He pulled Grimmjow closer by tightening his arms, which were thrown around Grimmjow's neck. He was shaking a little, because he had never, ever felt an arousal like this before he didn't know what to do in the midst of it. Grimmjow, too, seemed to be loosing a grip on his caution even though he tried to hang onto it for Ulquiorra's sake. Ulquiorra could tell that he was afraid, still, of doin something wrong or too fast, but his movements were growing just a little frantic. He was affected too.

Ulquiorra felt a hand land tentatively high on his thigh, almost touching his rear end. It was sudden and for a split second it felt uncomfortable, but the feeling quickly passed and Ulquiorra kissed the harder for it. He could feel how close to his crotch Grimmjow was, even if it was on the outer thigh. Grimmjow seemed to draw courage from his reaction, caressing Ulquiorra's thigh through his black jeans, and Ulquiorra shivered again happily. His own words came back to ring in his ear, reminding him of the way he'd told Grimmjow about touching his legs and proving to him that, if Grimmjow was touching him there, Grimmjow was thinking like he was.

Then Grimmjow began to trail his hand up the inside of Ulquiorra's leg very slowly, his other hand going to pinch one dusky nipple in case Ulquiorra wasn't ready yet and a distraction was needed. Ulquiorra 'mph'ed, started as pleasure fizzed around hi nipple like soda trapped under his skin, and he loved it. He felt Grimmjow's hand growing ever closer to his most sensitive place, and his shaking grew harder in anticipation. Oh, he wanted it. He felt like his defenses, whatever they were, were crumbling, and tha both terrified him and liberated him.

Then Grimmjow gently cupped the bulge in Ulquiorra's pants. Ulquiorra's spine jerked into alignment, his hands clutching whatever parts of Grimmjow's head and shoulders that he could get a hold on as he gasped, harshly breaking the kiss. It was an arrow of pleasure that he had no blocking against, and though he had expected it he still hadn't expected it. Grimmjow set his head in the crook of Ulquiorra's neck, not moving at all as Ulquiorra gasped and recovered, afraid that if he pressed at all Ulquiorra wouldn't be able to handle it.

Ulquiorra clung tightly to Grimmjow, almost desperately, as he struggled to regain himself. As the pleasure slowly edged away, his body began to relax more. He was grateful that Grimmjow was there to hold onto, but then he always was. That was never something Ulquiorra had taken for granted, but he had never appreciated it more than he did then- because he had never felt so weak, so stunned before. And even though Grimmjow was the reason why, Ulquiorra felt like it was fine to hold him like that.

When Ulquiorra's breathing had steadied a bit, Grimmjow gently pressed again. "Hah," Ulquiorra panted, clinging tighter, but he wasn't completely knocked off his feet this time. He was better prepared, and with that came a more complete enjoyment. He couldn't keep his hips from gyrating forward into that incredibly solid hand, and he felt Grimmjow shier as he did. Once again he realized that it must have been arousing to know that his partner wanted it, especially since his partner was Ulquiorra Schiffer, who rarely ever showed any emotion outwardly. Ulquiorra breathed out on an 'oh' as Grimmjow began to work him, gently kneading and rubbing the ever- hardening bulge as Ulquiorra shuddered.

Ulquiorra's assumption that Grimmjow, unlike him, spent time touching himself was proven by his apparently inherent skill. Within a mater of moments Ulquiorra was softly rocking against Grimmjow's hand, eager for more and trying to convey that he was ready for it. He panted lightly, beads of sweat appearing on his hairline as he let his eyes close and just enjoyed it. Grimmjow kissed his neck amorously as something he didn't know well enough to name grew in the center of his pelvis. So little, and yet he was throbbing and, if the wet spot in his boxers was any indication, leaking precum. He quaked, unused to the feeling but, oh, did he want it. He pressed his hips forward more firmly.

Grimmjow gently pulled his hand away, and Ulquiorra bit his lip in disappointment. He wasn't particularly familiar with the feeling in his stomach, but he got the idea that he'd been so close. He resisted the urge to shift his hips forward more to gain the pressure back, knowing that Grimmjow wouldn't just pull away unless he had a good reason, but he did tangle his hand in that teal hair and tug a little to show his lack of satisfaction. Grimmjow kissed the column of his neck again before saying softly in his ear, "I know, babe. Hold on."

Grimmjow started scooting back on the couch, and Ulquiorra noticed for the first time that he was practically sitting gin his boyfriend's lap. They kissed passionately, and Ulquiorra felt something wet and bumpy gently lick his lower lip- he found it odd, but pleasurable , though he didn't know how to react to it. Was he supposed to do the same, or…? In all honesty, for the first time in so long his mind was a little fuzzy at the edges his heartbeat wasn't in his chest anymore, but in his hardened rod. Before he could figure out what to do Grimmjow removed himself from the paler man, and he felt himself be gently lowered.

He opened his eyes looking up at a softened Grimmjow as Grimmjow, with a hand behind Ulquiorra's head and one on his waist, lay him down over the newly freed cushions. He felt his back come in connection with the couch, and Grimmjow crawled on top of him. He had such a nervous, sweet look on his face, but Ulquiorra's stomach suddenly churned at their new position. Grimmjow gently caressed his cheek, hovering over him. "Is this okay?" he asked. Ulquiorra looked up at him.

"Yes," he said, puling Grimmjow down into a kiss to keep him form seeing the look on his face, because really it was not okay. Ulquiorra felt trapped, like between laying down coupled with being under Grimmjow there was no way to escape. He tried to relax into the kiss, activating the purely factual part of his mind; there was no need to escape. Grimmjow was not someone Ulquiorra wanted to run from. And Grimmjow had said that at one word form Ulquiorra he would stop completely, and Grimmjow was a man of his word. Ulquiorra calmed.

Grimmjow put his hand on Ulquiorra's lean belly, the heat of his palm helping him to focus on other things. Grimmjow waited, moving his lips against Ulquiorra's, to be sure that his partner had become comfortable before trying to move on. When he was sure that this was so Ulquiorra felt his hand travel down and begin, with the aid of the other hand, to unbutton Ulquiorra's pants. Ulquiorra felt a spike of uncertainty. "Wait," he said, and Grimmjow immediately snapped his head up, his hand stalling. Ulquiorra could see the fearfulness in his face, the worry that he had really gone too far, that he had lost this chance, that Ulquiorra didn't want it anymore, that he had scared Ulquiorra, and that he felt bad for it. But, he reminded himself, Grimmjow would never forgive himself if Ulquiorra was uncertain and it happened anyway. "Yours first," the ravenette said, and Grimmjow blinked in surprised relief.

"Sure," he agreed, removing his hands form Ulquiorra's pants to his own and wrestling with the button. Ulquiorra thought he looked quite cute, al flustered and fumbling with his pants, and he enjoyed the thought. It was rare when he thought of the handsome, wild, untamed man as something as generic as cute, but when he did it brought Grimmjow into a whole different light that eh didn't always see. Grimmjow got the button undone and wriggled out of the offending black jeans, the struggle dragging his boxers down a little lower on his hips. He threw the pants somewhere (Ulquiorra taking a mental note of which direction they went) and leaned in to kiss Ulquiorra again quickly.

"Now?" he asked when he pulled back, and Ulquiorra looked back up at him.

"Now," he affirmed, and he felt Grimmjow shiver a little. He was beginning to feel safer in the position they were in, and having Grimmjow's pants off first helped him too. He saw a type of restrained eagerness in Grimmjow's face, tempered by caution, and then Grimmjow bent down and kissed him sweetly and his face wasn't visible anymore. Ulquiorra closed his eyes and let himself feel Grimmjow's hands sliding down his sides slowly to his hips, which tingled the

closer he got, and as he felt Grimmjow's tongue tentatively nudge his lower lip again he decided to take action.

He let his own tongue crawl out and stroke Grimmjow's uncertainly, to which the larger man started. Clearly he hadn't been expecting that. As his hands started moving again Ulquiorra moved against him a gain, this time tasting a hint of hot chocolate and basil on his tongue. It was an odd mixture, but Ulquiorra quickly found that he liked it Grimmjow shivered against him and rubbed tongues back as he began to unbutton Ulquiorra's pants, removing them faster than he had his own and leaving the both of them in their boxers. Ulquiorra's shirt was still unbuttoned on him, but he was thankful for that. if he'd been totally bared, he wasn't sure how comfortable he would be.

He felt Grimmjow's thumbs hook under the elastic waistband of his boxers, and Grimmjow pulled back and looked at him nervously, questioningly, and again Ulquiorra didn't want to be the nude one first. But Grimmjow had already guessed that, and Ulquiorra felt the other's hips lower until they wer nearly brushing in the most sensitive of places so that Grimmjow could get his index fingers into his own boxers to pull of both pairs simultaneously. After all, it would be embarrassing for Grimmjow too if he had to bare himself first. Ulquiorra swallowed, but nodded. He knew he could trust Grimmjow, even if something in the corner of his mind was reluctant.

He saw Grimmjow give a little wince of pleasure as the boxers slowly slid down over their erections. Ulquiorra shivered, his momentarily forgotten arousal pricking him again like a needle as the fabric slid achingly slow down over his hardened flesh. He understood that Grimmjow was going slow to be kind, he knew that it put as much pressure on Grimmjow as it did on him, but still he wanted to squirm. It felt so good, and yet so… teasing. He let his head fall back, keeping his face calm as he let out a breathy 'haaah' into the open air. He knew Grimmjow was watching his reaction closely.

Then the undergarments slid off their tips, allowing their organs to breathe, and they both sighed in relief. The air around them, which felt hot to every other part of Ulquiorra's body, felt lukewarm there, and the feel was wild. He opened the eyes he hadn't realized he'd closed to see Grimmjow still watching them carefully,; Grimmjow was, at last, panting, and Ulquiorra felt a little less preposterous for his own reactions. Grimmjow looked like there was something he wanted to do but was afraid to do it. He swallowed. "Can- can I look?" he asked, searching his boyfriend's face.

"Feel free," Ulquiorra allowed, and watched Grimmjow's face. Grimmjow's incredibly blue eyes jerked down a little, then back up to Ulquiorra's calm eyes, then hesitantly he tilted his head down to actually look. Honestly, he kind of looked like he was in awe that he was seeing it at all. Ulquiorra just looked at his face, trying not to feel embarrassed as Grimmjow stared at his most private place. Ulquiorra just looked at his face, trying not to felt embarrassed as Grimmjow stared at his most private place. Ulquiorra wanted to look too, wanted to know what Grimmjow looked like- al of Grimmjow- but a shyness that he rarely ever showed held him back. He knew that if he did look he would immediately look away before he'd really seem anything and he'd be embarrassed. Grimmjow gulped thickly and looked back up.

"You're incredible," he said, cupping Ulquiorra's cheek. He had such an adoring look in his eyes, and Ulquiorra felt his embarrassment disappear. "You are so incredibly incredible."

"Incredibly incredible, Grimmjow?" he said softly, chastising his grammar out of habit.

"Yes," Grimmjow said firmly. "Incredibly, fantastically, beautifully, perfectly, incredible. That's what you are." Despite himself, Ulquiorra felt this ting in his chest swell at Grimmjow's outspoken words. Grimmjow had never been light on praise, but he had never said anything with quite so much strength behind it. He must have truly believed it. Ulquiorra lifted his hand up and gently touched Grimmjow's face, something he rarely ever did since Grimmjow usually initiated their contact and Grimmjow would much rather be the one touching anyway.

"You're incredibly incredible, too," he said softly, and Grimmjow took in a breath. That was the first time Ulquiorra had ever verbally expressed how highly he thought of Grimmjow, how much he truly thought that Grimmjow was the greatest person he'd ever had the privilege of knowing. He knew that he couldn't imagine how much that meant to the passionate man. Grimmjow put his hand over Ulquiorra's smaller one, and Ulquiorra found his hand trapped between a hot palm and a hot cheek that warmed even his cold skin. For some reason, something in his mind immediately imagined that warmth around his length and he sucked in a quick breath as he throbbed.

He could tell that Grimmjow didn't miss that. The tan man's eyebrows twitched down for a second in worry, but he quickly realized that the sound wasn't one of pain. Ulquiorra gasped as Grimmjow's other hand gingerly closed around his heated rod, the skin-on-skin sending him reeling, but instead of waiting to recover he arced into the touch wantonly. He shivered massively, his hands gripping the couch and Grimmjow's hair as that ineffable heat spread through his loins. With his eyes screwed closed Grimmjow's gentle kiss seemed something other than his lips for a moment- what, Ulquiorra didn't know- but he leaned forward into it anyway. He shifted his hips up again, and Grimmjow made a short groaning sound into the kiss. Ulquiorra felt the hand that wasn't pleasuring him fly out to the coffee table parallel to the couch where Grimmjow's birthday presents sat. That hand fumbled around, knocking boxes off blindly, and Ulquiorra could feel the desperation flooding his partner in the way Grimmjow's mouth ate his.

Ulquiorra realized that Grimmjow's sudden need was probably caused by Ulquiorra's hip movement. It must have been caused friction against Grimmjow's engorged member. Ulquiorra moved a little harder, Grimmjow groaning again, and this time he could feel Grimmjow's extraordinary hardness against his skin.

It made him shiver. Grimmjow's hand finally clamped onto its target and Ulquiorra opened his eye to see what it was; it was the box that Grimmjow hadn't let him see, having shoved the top back on as soon as it was open, blushing a bright red and grumbling, 'that ain't funny, man' as he pushed it away. The person who gave it to him had snickered, and when Grimmjow pulled his hand out Ulquiorra saw why. He, too, blushed a little- it was a tube of peppermint scented lube, probably meant as a gag gift. The joker who gave it probably wouldn't have imagined that it would get used.

Grimmjow broke from the wild kiss, both of them gasping for air. Ulquiorra felt a little dizzy, and though it made him nervous it allowed him to think less and feel more as Grimmjow wrenched the cap off the little bottle. Ulquiorra's nose was assaulted by the smell of peppermint, and he got dizzier. He clutched the couch below him. "I- I don't have any condoms," Grimmjow said, hurriedly but thoroughly coating his fingers in the slick liquid. "I mean, I've been tested and- and all that, and I'm negative, but I can go look for one in my parent's room or something if-"

"It's fine," Ulquiorra said breathily, their words overlapping one another for a moment before Grimmjow stopped talking. "I've been tested too. Don't worry about it." Actually, Ulquiorra would feel just a little better if they didn't do it bare, but he didn't want Grimmjow to get up, not for a moment. He had not only gotten used to this intimate closeness, but found that he had now come to need it. He couldn't imagine Grimmjow anywhere else in that moment. It just wouldn't be right.

Grimmjow leaned in for a quick peck before asking, "I have to, um, I have to stretch you, can- can I do that now?" Ulquiorra could see the awkwardness in that question under Grimmjow's genuine face. He gulped a little.

"Of course," he said, the thought of Grimmjow's fingers in him both making his stomach churn and exciting him more than he would have thought. "Do what you need to do." He tried to ignore the part of him that shrieked in horror at the thought, focusing instead on the look of complete privilege on his boyfriend's face. He loved the way that Grimmjow thought that he, Ulquiorra Schiffer, was the only being on earth who was so brilliant. He liked to think that Grimmjow knew that Ulquiorra thought the same of him.

"Okay," Grimmjow said, nodding to himself as if to make himself believe he'd been given the permission even as he looked at Ulquiorra with a look that said he knew just what sort of trust Ulquiorra had in him and he wasn't going to go against it. Ulquiorra appreciated that so much that he had no way to say it. Grimmjow swallowed. "Just stay nice and relaxed, okay?" he said. "I promise, I won't hurt you."

"I know," Ulquiorra said, gently pulling Grimmjow down into his shoulder, where Grimmjow nuzzled sweetly. He wouldn't deny that he would take more comfort in having Grimmjow just hold him for this part than from a passionate kiss. Not that he would complain about a passionate kiss. Grimmjow clearly understood that, and just rubbed his lips kindly into that pale neck with a light peck on the pulsepoint.

"Okay," he said, "I'm starting. Stay relaxed." Ulquiorra nodded, looping his arms under Grimmjow's to rest them on the other's muscular back as he willed his muscles to calm. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't hard. His stomach churned a little. He felt something, presumably one of Grimmjow's fingers, touch his hole and had to fight back the feeling that this wasn't right. Things weren't supposed to go in there. He turned that thought out as Grimmjow started to press forward with the finger and he couldn't afford to doubt, the feel of his muscles resisting the intrusion unpleasant but dealable. He felt Grimmjow frown against his neck, pressing harder and harder until his hand was shaking, and still Ulquiorra's body wouldn't open.

It was obvious to Ulquiorra that Grimmjow didn't want to press so hard that it hurt, though Ulquiorra wasn't sure that was possible with just one finger. It didn't hurt, it just wasn't enjoyable. Ulquiorra hoped that it was less uncomfortable when it was inside. He felt Grimmjow grit his teeth and press hard, and finally the digit popped quickly through. Ulquiorra let out his breath and Grimmjow froze in surprise with his finger one knuckle in Ulquiorra's heat. Good, that felt better.

He realized that Grimmjow was shaking minutely. Of course, he thought, even just being that far in with his finger was probably enough to have Grimmjow's imagination running at full-speed. But Grimmjow didn't move, though it was clear that it was hard on him, and just asked, "Are you okay? It doesn't hurt, does it?"

"No," Ulquiorra answered truthfully, "it's just odd. I'm fine, keep going." He heard Grimmjow's breath hitch, and then that finger kept sliding in. Actually, it seemed like the hard part was over. The feeling of something being in there was, as he'd said, odd, especially as it kept going farther and farther in, but it

wasn't horrible. Ulquiorra felt that he could grow to like it, given time.

Grimmjow did give him time. As soon as the whole finger was in he stopped, which Ulquiorra was grateful for since it gave him the chance to adjust. He sighed out his nose and leaned his head into Grimmjow's neck and the side of his head, putting his chin on Grimmjow's shoulder and letting his eyes close. He hadn't forgotten about the issues between his and Grimmjow's legs, but he wasn't about to reach down and touch himself with Grimmjow right there. He had more pride than that.

Grimmjow kissed his neck for a long, long time, like he thought that Ulquiorra's pulse couldn't possibly stop so long as he kept his lips there, as he gently started to move his finger. He wiggled it a little, which felt weird but not unpleasant inside of Ulquiorra's passage. The lube started to warm up, and that made it feel more normal as well. He felt that finger very slowly map out his inside, which was far softer and more giving than his outside, just before it backed out to the first knuckle again. It came in again as Ulquiorra breathed out, the ring of muscles loosening as the movement made it. Ulquiorra relaxed more as he began to enjoy it.

Grimmjow waited a little longer, continuing with that one movement until Ulquiorra shifted slightly in something that wasn't quite impatience but wasn't unlike it. Then the finger pulled out completely, and Ulquiorra felt both parts relieved and deprived. Then he felt something- or two somethings- pressing at him, and this time Grimmjow started off pressing as hard as he had been successful doing the first time; but the muscles were less willing to spread for something twice as large, and Ulquiorra grit his teeth and winced. It was moderately painful, and again Ulquiorra had to make himself relax. Grimmjow made a grunting sound as he got them through, and Ulquiorra wasn't going to say that it didn't hurt when it did. But he'd learned from the first time that it got better after they were in, so he said nothing.

Grimmjow waited a moment before continuing in. And it was better, but only until he had to get his second knuckle through- then Ulquiorra had to try not to make a little noise as he stretched even farther. Then Grimmjow's fingers were all the way in and there was a reprieve. "You still okay?" Grimmjow murmured into Ulquiorra's ear, and Ulquiorra debated over just how much he should say.

"It's alright," he said, careful not to use the word 'I'. "Just give me a minute."

"Yeah," Grimmjow said, "sure. Anything you need." And, again, Ulquiorra realized how incredibly lucky he was to have a person like Grimmjow. The amount of

sheer care in the teal-haired man never ceased to amaze Ulquiorra, who didn't know much about care in his daily life. As promised, Grimmjow stayed perfectly still for him as he slowly grew used to the pain; the more accustomed to it he became, the less he seemed to feel it. He figured that it hurt worse for men than for women, who were made to have something in them- ah, well. There wasn't anything he could do about that. Grimmjow pet the back of his head fondly, playing with his black hair until Ulquiorra softly said that he was ready. "You sure?" Grimmjow asked.

"Yes," Ulquiorra said, "go ahead." Grimmjow nodded against him and gently wiggled his fingers. On the inside that felt odd but not unenjoyable, but to the ring of muscles that was rather a different story. He focused on what he liked, but that wasn't so easy when Grimmjow began pumping his fingers in and out. Ulquiorra did his best to relax and enjoy it, and within a few moments he found that it was less and less painful. He supposed he must have been getting used to the feeling, and soon enough it barely bothered him at all. Then Grimmjow hesitantly curled his fingers, and Ulquiorra gasped and jumped. Grimmjow froze, and Ulquiorra reeled and panted, asking, "What- what was- that?"

"Was it good?" Grimmjow asked worriedly, as if he thought that he somehow found something no one had ever told him about that caused a jolt of pain.

"Yes," Ulquiorra panted, "do it again." he could almost feel Grimmjow biting his lip, looking up at Ulquiorra's face as he did so, and some sort of pleasure filled balloon burst in Ulquiorra's head. It was incredible. He arched his back, shuddering hard and feeling his cock pulse against his stomach. Grimmjow must have thought that the look on his partner's face was gorgeous, because he released a low groan as Ulquiorra clung to him all the harder. That receding fuzziness around the edges of Ulquiorra's mind came roaring back with a vengeance, and Ulquiorra squirmed a little in Grimmjow's arms. He felt Grimmjow's hardness against his tailbone and heard Grimmjow take a sharp breath. He'd ended up in Grimmjow's lap again.

He felt Grimmjow carefully start to scissor, making him stretch more which was less than comfortable, but Grimmjow still brushed that place and that nullified the pain. Ulquiorra clutched at Grimmjow hard, and when his back bent up their chests pressed together in the warmest way. Ulquiorra couldn't deny that his breathing was labored, buy Grimmjow's was a little too so he didn't feel so foolish. Then the fingers pulled out and Ulquiorra huffed unhappily, but Grimmjow just kissed his ear. "Hold on," he said, "relax for me." Ulquiorra quickly understood and did make his muscles go slack. Fingers pressed against his hole again, and he could tell that there was one more. He was eager to have them in, but at the same time he hadn't forgotten what they felt like getting there.

Sure enough, he had to gnash his teeth together as Grimmjow forced his fingers through. It felt like a too-tight fit, the muscles fighting against it and only making it worse- until Grimmjow was in just enough to find that spot again, and the sudden switch from pain to pleasure made Ulquiorra gasp. Grimmjow took the opportunity to slide them in the rest of the way quickly before curling again. Ulquiorra could tell that he was desperate to keep Ulquiorra from the pain as much as possible, and again Ulquiorra internally thanked him for that. It probably didn't hurt that the distraction method was so fantastic.

He found himself shaking like a leaf as Grimmjow kept working that place, quickly figuring out just how to do it to have Ulquiorra tangling his fingers in that thick blue hair. At the same time, Ulquiorra knew and could feel that Grimmjow was still stretching him, trying to make him as ready as possible, and the more he did so the more the feeling that Grimmjow would do anything for Ulquiorra grew inside the paler one. And, in all honesty, he felt like he was singly the luckiest human being on all the great round earth. No one else could say they had Grimmjow.

Then Grimmjow swallowed and pulled out, leaving Ulquiorra feeling despairingly empty. He shifted, holding tighter to the other man, but Grimmjow gently pulled away to look him in the eye. He looked so serious, so loving, so nervous, that Ulquiorra sobered a little. "Ulquiorra, I- can I-… are you sure about this?" Grimmjow asked, searching Ulquiorra's eyes. Ulquiorra looked straight back.

"Of course," he said, hands on either side of Grimmjow's neck so he could feel the pulsing of his blood. "Are you?" He thought it was a strange thing to ask, but he wanted to ask it anyway. Grimmjow was a virgin too- and Ulquiorra wouldn't feel comfortable receiving that unless he heard Grimmjow say that he wanted him to have it. Grimmjow's mouth quirked up, his eyes softening.

"Absolutely," he said quietly. Ulquiorra leaned up, using his eyes to entreat Grimmjow into a gentle kiss that Grimmjow easily submitted to. There was no tongue this time, no experimenting, just a simple, honest touch of lip against lip, and there was something beautiful about that. Ulquiorra felt one of Grimmjow's hands go down to his own neglected length, presumably to lube up, and felt a thrill of excitement and trepidation. This was going to be much bigger than the fingers.

Then Grimmjow pulled away from the kiss, burying his head where he'd had it before in the crook of Ulquiorra's neck as he gently took Ulquiorra's hips in his big hands. Ulquiorra let him shift them up for easier access, his own nervousness fluttering in his stomach like a swallowed bird. He wanted this. He wanted this like he'd wanted few other things- but… He pushed it out of his mind resolutely, focusing only on the feel of Grimmjow's body against his. He felt something blunt on his entrance and took a deep breath to calm himself.

As he breathed out, Grimmjow began to push in slowly. It didn't hurt so bad at first, it was more like the fingers, but it did get wider and thicker fast. Before Grimmjow's head was all the way in, Ulquiorra was gritting his teeth. This was the worst part, he kept telling himself. It would get better. But only a few moments in, it was clear to him that this was a whole different ballgame. He pressed himself closely to Grimmjow, trying to find comfort in his boyfriend's presence, but it didn't work. The hard, swollen head was finally in to the lip, but there wasn't any respite. He felt like he was being torn in half.

No, it was worse than that. Aw, God! Ulquiorra hissed quietly. It felt like stone trying to move stone, like the grinding of a mortar and pestle, and Ulquiorra knew that it wouldn't work. It just wouldn't. He wanted to try to hold on, but he'd never hurt like this before. With his eyes screwed shut, he opened his mouth to tell Grimmjow to stop, that he couldn't take it, that he was sorry- when Grimmjow made a small, restrained noise of pleasure. Ulquiorra froze cold, realizing that he couldn't tell Grimmjow to stop. This was the first time during this whole thing that Grimmjow was getting any pleasure. He had held himself back so that Ulquiorra would be comfortable, so that Ulquiorra would enjoy it, and Ulquiorra realized that he had no right to deny Grimmjow this. He clamped his mouth shut and hid his face in Grimmjow's shoulder.

Lord, it hurt so bad! His muscles were stretched to the breaking point, and even though he knew it would be better if he could relax he just couldn't. his whole body was tensing, revolting against the intruder slowly breaking its way into him, trying to squeeze it out and get it away. Nothing about this was right, nothing at all, this wasn't meant to happen! He clenched his hands into fists against Grimmjow's back, seeing a haze of red behind his eyelids and hunching over. Even the inside, which had always just formed elastically to what was there, was screaming out that this was too much. But he shut his jaw tight and said nothing.

He was shaking, trying so, so hard to keep from uttering a sound. He pressed his fingers into the knotted muscles of Grimmjow's shoulder blades and released his pain that way, vines of red-hot agony wrapping around his spine, and Grimmjow was still going in. how long was he? Ulquiorra wished he'd looked earlier; this way it was just an unending burn. He couldn't hold back his body's reaction, only his voice, but Grimmjow didn't seem to notice. He probably didn't. He was probably too far gone, and even though Ulquiorra was grimly glad for it he felt betrayed. How could he not notice, even if Ulquiorra was silent? He had always noticed the things Ulquiorra hadn't said before, why couldn't he now? Now, when it mattered more than ever? Now, when it hurt more than ever? Didn't he hate it when Ulquiorra was in pain?

Ulquiorra started and bit back a pathetic whimper, black fingernails breaking Grimmjow's skin as he felt something split. It was worse than if it had been cleanly cut- his body had pulled itself into two to allow the invasion, but it hadn't gone down quietly and the war still wasn't over. Still, still, Grimmjow was forging in, into places that were even more tender, and as Ulquiorra felt something thick and hot slide down one of his ass cheeks he knew he was bleeding. His nails dug deeper into Grimmjow's back, blood welling up around them.

Then Ulquiorra felt Grimmjow's hips against his own and the torturous movement finally stopped. Grimmjow murmured, "Oh, babe. Oh, God, babe," panting.

This was, to Ulquiorra, proof that he had done something good for at least Grimmjow, and he didn't have the ability to uphold his bitterness. He reburied his head in Grimmjow's neck, pulling his nails out of Grimmjow's back and laying his palms flat over the marks as Grimmjow rained a flurry of kisses over his

neck and shoulder. "Are you okay?" he finally asked, breathless, and suddenly Ulquiorra had a chance to stop this, to say no, to have it over and done with.

"I'm fine," he said tightly. He could feel Grimmjow's head come up a little as he cupped the back of Ulquiorra's head.

"Ulquiorra…" he said, and Ulquiorra could tell that his bluff had been called.

"I'm fine," he repeated, looping his fingers into Grimmjow's soft neck hair. "Just- just don't move yet, please."

"Of course," Grimmjow said, "of course." His hands moved off of Ulquiorra's hips and onto his waist, his lips pressing into his pale trapezius muscle. He rubbed Ulquiorra's lower back gently, and slowly Ulquiorra began to relax. That sweet touch renewed his belief in Grimmjow's care for him, and that soothed more than just his body. He really couldn't stay upset with Grimmjow for long, it just wasn't possible. There were long moments of comfortable silence while Ulquiorra tried to come to terms with the deep-set pain. As his body-shaking gasps calmed, he spoke to keep his mind away from the ache.

"What does it feel like, Grimmjow?" he asked, more because he had to think of something else than because he wanted to know. He was worried it might be salt in the wound, but he asked anyway.

"It's incredible," Grimmjow breathed, verily rubbing his face against the skin and fabric in front of him.

"Incredibly incredible?" Ulquiorra asked wryly.

"Yes," Grimmjow answered quickly. "Incredibly, fantastically, wonderfully, perfectly, incredible. That's what you are."

"You changed it," Ulquiorra said quietly, looping his arms around Grimmjow's neck. "It was: incredibly, fantastically, [i]beautifully[/i], perfectly, incredible."

"Well you're incredibly, fantastically, [i]beautifully[/i], wonderfully, perfectly, incredible," Grimmjow said. "And- and I love you. I really should have said that before now, but I do. I love you, Ulquiorra." Ulquiorra tilted his head in interest.

"Is that what this feeling is, Grimmjow?" he asked. "This feeling in my chest?"

"Yes," Grimmjow said with absolute certainty. "Yes, it is." Ulquiorra thought about that.

"I love you, Grimmjow," he said simply. He heard Grimmjow take in a steep breath and felt those arms wrap around him and hold him flush against Grimmjow's chest. He wasn't sure why he had gained such a reaction- Grimmjow himself had said it was love, and of course Ulquiorra trusted his judgment on emotions. Grimmjow had told him many times before the mane of a feeling, and to Ulquiorra this wasn't any different.

"Baby," Grimmjow said, pressing his cheek against Ulquiorra's, "baby. I didn't- I never- you just said that." Of course, Ulquiorra could have pointed out what a horribly foolish thing that was to say, but he didn't. He understood the sentences Grimmjow hadn't finished: I didn't think I'd ever hear you tell me that. I never thought I would ever hear you tell me that. He could understand why. He could also understand why Grimmjow had never truly believed that he had told Ulquiorra those things before, even though he had said them in the math room a year ago. That had been a wild confession of something Grimmjow thought but also something that hadn't been proven. Now, it had. Even through the throbbing coming from his hind end, Ulquiorra felt good about that. Grimmjow was chuckling wetly.

"You're tearing up, aren't you?" Ulquiorra said more than asked.

"No," Grimmjow defended weakly, his giddy smile audible in his voice. Ulquoirra just sighed through his nose, thinking that even though he didn't understand Grimmjow's wealth of emotions he still understood Grimmjow well enough for him to be predictable. Funny, everyone else had thought he would be too unpredictable for the raven-haired man. And yet here they were, having sex on Grimmjow's couch because neither of them had wanted to break the moment to get to a bed, and Ulquiorra realized just what that meant. He wasn't just 'in love' with Grimmjow, he was 'making love' to him. Now he understood why it was such a sacred thing. And suddenly he didn't understand why they were just sitting there.

"You can move," he said, and Grimmjow pulled away to look down at him worriedly.

"Are you sure?" he asked, and though he was touched Ulquiorra inwardly rolled his eyes.

"I am," he promised, braced this time for the pain. At least now he knew Grimmjow's dimensions, if only by feel, so he couldn't be taken by surprise again. Grimmjow caressed his face.

"Okay," he almost whispered, and the unspoken words hovered in the air; just tell me if you need me to stop. That was something exceptional about Grimmjow. When it came to the people that mattered to him the most, he was completely selfless. He kissed Ulquiorra gently as he took his pale hips in his hands, and again it was brought to light that, with the way they were clinging to one another, Ulquiorra's back wasn't touching the couch. Ulquiorra took a deep breath and again Grimmjow waited until he was breathing out to lift him up, just a tiny little bit. The pain was wince-worthy, but as long as he focused on the kiss Ulquiorra found that it wasn't absolutely horrible.

Grimmjow made it easy and sweet, lifting him only an inch and keeping it that way for a while so that Ulquiorra could just get used to the feeling of movement. Ulquiorra was thankful for that; just because it didn't hurt as bad as entry didn't mean it didn't hurt, and the simple movement slowly became less painful. The place where he'd split still throbbed and that was where it hurt the most, but Ulquiorra decisively ignored it. He knew that was going to hurt like hell in the morning, but for once he was set that he wouldn't think about nothing but this moment and so didn't worry about it. He would only worry about the burn that was happening in that second, which was definitely happening and definitely something worth a little worry. Despite himself, he was frightened that he wouldn't be able to enjoy this.

That fear fled when Grimmjow's head just nudged that spot. Ulquiorra tensed and sucked in air, hearing Grimmjow choke a little on a groan as he got tighter. Then he relaxed again, the feeling skittering away, and they both panted. "Was- was that it?" Grimmjow asked, and Ulquiorra nodded into his shoulder.

"Yes," he said breathlessly, and Grimmjow bit his lip as he lifted the smaller man again and brought him back in the same way. Ulquiorra felt Grimmjow's head scrape against that spot again and he could keep himself from arching up. Grimmjow did it slowly again, and again, adjusting his angle a little each time until he hit it dead-on and Ulquiorra gasped. Grimmjow groaned in his ear, and suddenly Ulquiorra's limpening cock sprang back into life. There was something in the low timbre of that rolling groan that for some reason turned him on like nothing else. He shivered.

Grimmjow carefully picked up his pace and Ulquiorra saw him wince in pleasure. Ulquiorra, too, felt some sort of change in the way that spot was being hit, making it more precise, and he shuddered and let out a quiet groan of his own. Grimmjow gasped, and Ulquiorra realized that it must have been just as aphrodisial for Grimmjow to hear his boyfriend's noises of arousal as it had been for Ulquiorra himself. The pace got faster, and Ulquiorra stopped thinking.

"Grimmjow, deeper," he gasped, wanting to feel more and knowing that the only way was for Grimmjow to move him higher. Grimmjow groaned again at hearing Ulquiorra say a thing like that, then did as he was asked.

The greater movement smarted, but the instant that Grimmjow hit that place again Ulquiorra felt the pain numb down. It was like putting water in wine, but Ulquiorra was still getting drunk. He was getting tipsy already, and Grimmjow was his alcohol. He felt Grimmjow go deeper into him, and it was excellent. The pain was flying away with every thrust as Grimmjow kept finding that place over and over and over, but Ulquiorra could tell that Grimmjow was still gritting his teeth and holding back for his sake and he didn't like that.

"Grimmjow, I'm fine," he spluttered, "jus-just, more." He felt Grimmjow shudder at the words, but they got him what he wanted. Grimmjow bounced him up and down, and oh dear Jesus it felt amazing to him in a way that he had never once imagined it could and he felt his rod swelling. With every thrust it was a double-hitter, Grimmjow's length prodding the place that had Ulquiorra panting and sweating and Ulquiorra's own member smacking very enjoyably against his stomach. Each time it did Ulquiorra found himself reeling hands clutching Grimmjow's shoulders for balance.

Then Grimmjow hurriedly lay him down again, seemingly realizing their position and protesting to it. Of course he was- Grimmjow Jaegerjaques was a highly romantic man and a position like that didn't appeal to him as a first-timer. Ulquiorra flopped back, his spine hitting the cushions, as Grimmjow urged him down without moving out or away. They met in a sloppy kiss, and this time they both let their tongues move clumsily together as Grimmjow started thrusting again. They each wanted to taste the other, and Ulquiorra quickly found himself addicted to the taste of Grimmjow. Ulquiorra made a little 'mph' sound into the kiss as the different position allowed an ever-so-slightly different angle that was just perfect. He saw stars behind his eyelids, and he must have tightened because Grimmjow groaned.

Ulquiorra willingly spread his legs wider so Grimmjow could get closer, only a quick moment of embarrassment passing through him. It was well worth it, their hips meeting again and again. Ulquiorra was shaking and so was Grimmjow, and the smaller of the two could feel the way they came together. Ulquiorra pulled Grimmjow's face closer, demanding more from the kiss and not caring that he must have seemed a little desperate. His semi-functioning mind laughed at him for needing this so much, but suddenly he really did. He wanted to be Grimmjow's, and he wanted Grimmjow to be his. Completely. And this was how it was going to happen.

Grimmjow abruptly broke from the kiss, and Ulquiorra took the opportunity to gasp. The flood of air restored a little of his reason, and he realized just how long that kiss had been. "Can- can I- faster?" Grimmjow asked brokenly, his chest heaving, and Ulquiorra could see that Grimmjow was the worse off between them.

"Please," he assented breathily, and again Grimmjow groaned. This time Ulquiorra could see his face, and the look of total arousal there made him catch his breath. It might also have had something to do with Grimmjow doing just what he said he would, which coincidentally meant not only going faster but harder, and Ulquiorra spasmed as Grimmjow drilled into that spot. He gasped, and even with his eyes open he suddenly couldn't see anything. Grimmjow stalled, but Ulquiorra would have none of it. His body moving on its own, gyrating his hips up as he panted for dear life, and Grimmjow got the message.

Suddenly it felt like his body was under assault of the best kind as Grimmjow did it again, setting up a fast and furious pace. Ulquiorra felt what little of his composure was left crumble helplessly as he ground his teeth in pleasure and made a sound that part of his mind thought sounded like a dying animal, but Grimmjow must have liked how primal it sounded because he joined in. Before the pleasure had come in a series of bursts, but now it felt like one continuous stream of sheer adrenaline-triggering, mind-numbing perfection. Ulquiorra wasn't normally one to cuss, but oh holy Hell it was incredible. Incredibly incredible, the tiny speck of working brain he had left supplied.

He couldn't seem to catch his breath, and neither could Grimmjow. The sound of their harsh breathing and moans was second only to the sound of their skin slapping, and Ulquiorra felt what was left of his functioning mind be broken apart and carried away like a cookie becoming crumbs at the hands of sugar ants. He was shaking and sweating, clawing at the cushions. He screwed his eyes shut, arching up wildly as Grimmjow redoubled his pace. His mouth opened of its own accord and a strangled cry slipped past his teeth. "A-aha!" he cried, and he wouldn't deny that it embarrassed him to have made a sound like that.

Grimmjow didn't seem to mind, though, in fact he moaned loudly in appreciation and went faster. It was as if he were trying to pull more sounds from his partner, and it worked. Ulquiorra felt another tight sound slide from his throat, his mails scrabbling against the fabric beneath him. Grimmjow returned his noise in kind, and Ulquiorra felt his own sweat dampening the shirt against his back. His organ was pulsing, dripping again, making his stomach wet where it lay, but he could feel that Grimmjow was leaking inside of him as well. The last tenuous line of his thought snapped, and he plummeted fully into his body. It was unlike anything that had ever happened to him before.

His hands flew from the cushions to Grimmjow's shoulders as he choked out a cry, and he used the new hold to roc back into Grimmjow's next thrust. They both cried out then, Ulquiorra clutching Grimmjow's skin as an explosion of heat occurred in his skull. They quickly set up a frantic rhythm, each of them growing erratic so quickly. Ulquiorra had thought before that he was close to orgasm, but now he knew by the coiling, heating thing low in his stomach that he hadn't had any idea of what being close would feel like. He felt a pressure growing inside of him, and soon it would be too great to stay inside him any longer.

It wasn't that he was arching his back, really. It was more like the long muscles down his spine were trying to pull his hips and his shoulders together and the rest of his body was forced up to do it. He ceased caring about the sounds he made, both he and Grimmjow moaning and crying out and so very close to the edge. They were a perfect chorus, their voiced echoing around off the walls. Grimmjow plunged in and out of him, making lights display themselves behind his eyes as that spot was pummeled gloriously. He could feel it, he could feel it building in both of them-

And then it was there. His eyes popped open as singly the most intense physical feeling he'd ever had coursed through him. He screamed, total white coating his vision even as it coated his and Grimmjow's stomachs. He felt the heat suffocating him beautifully, and he heard Grimmjow cry out as he added his own scorching fluids to the tumult. It brought a deep sort of satisfaction to know that he had pulled Grimmjow to that high. They lay suspended in that crazy perfection for a magnificent moment, and then they both collapsed. Ulquiorra felt Grimmjow's weight on top of him, but it felt too right to complain.

They lay there, bodies cooling and breath calming, for what could have been an eternity. Grimmjow was nuzzling into Ulquiorra's shoulder the whole time, and slowly Ulquiorra relaxed. The ache started to come back, but Ulquiorra was too content to care. The sweat on his body froze and dried, and despite Grimmjow's warmth he shivered. Grimmjow noticed it and pulled out, which hurt to a degree, and reached over to a chair where a blanket sat. He snuggled back in, wrapping the blanket around both of them.

"We still need to clean up," Ulquiorra mumbled as Grimmjow tucked his black hair behind his ear.

"Seriously?" Grimmjow whined. Ulquiorra knew he wasn't complaining about having to clean, but that Ulquiorra could think of something like that in a moment like this. Ulquiorra relented easily. So much for a fighting spirit.

"Fine," he sighed tiredly. "I'm sleepy, anyway. But you have to do most of it tomorrow."

"Gotcha," Grimmjow agreed, and Ulquiorra pressed his body closer to his lover's. Because that's what they were now, and Ulquiorra liked the sound of it. He felt sleep lulling at him, and he didn't bother to fight it. Exhaustion dragged him down, closer to the pit of dreams, and he let it. Just before he was asleep

Grimmjow said, "Ulquiorra?... Are you still awake?" Ulquiorra just hummed, not opening his heavy eyelids. "Can I tell you something?" Ulquiorra hummed again, this time making it like a question, and Grimmjow sighed with a small smile on his face as he played lightly with the hair on the back of Ulquiorra's head. "You know what?" he said, "just go to sleep. I saw what's behind the wall, but I can tell you in the morning." Ulquiorra made one final hum, signifying his satisfaction with that. Sleep now, get to find out later. He could live with that deal.

That was the last thing he thought of before sleep took him.
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Behind the Wall