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Spilled Milk	By : debbiechan Category: Bleach > Het - Male/Female > Ishida/Orihime Views: 3369 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or make any money off these stories. Kubo Tite created Bleach; he and others own the rights.

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- 1-Spilled Milk
- 1
Spilled Milk

by debbiechan

Disclaimer: Kubo Tite created Bleach, and Shueisha Inc., Viz
Media and others own the rights to the story and characters. I write these
stories for fun and not for money. Kubo-sensei would be appalled at some of the
things I do with his babies.

Description: IshiHime. Written shortly after the publication
of chapter 354, �Heart,� set in post-manga future in which Orihime did not
restore Ulquiorra even though at the moment I�m praying that Kubo-sensei will
bring our Cuatro Espada back to the Bleach story. Rated R for graphic
descriptions of lactation and some heterosexual fondling but honestly, you kids
should know about this pregnancy and sex stuff and not be fazed
by it.

This is the sort of fic that you will really like or think
is omg ridiculous.

Written while listening to Shubert�s
Serenade. I love this version sung by Nana Mouskouri: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqUsNZLqcGY

�

---

When I wished to sing of love, it turned to sorrow. And
when I wished to sing of sorrow, it transformed for me into love. ~ Franz
Shubert

---

The liquid beading on Orihime�s right nipple was milk.

The bead grew to a full bubble, a see-through sigh the shape
of a turnip seed, and then it spilled like a tear. Orihime had never felt such
a warm sorrow as the wet path it left over her breast.

No! Not yet! What about the baby?

She wasn�t supposed to be making milk already, was she? What
a wasteful work-out of her body if that was what was going on. The baby, overdue,
still inside her, wouldn�t be able to taste the first drops of this important
stuff, the nutrient-rich disease-preventing colostrum--that�s what
Ryuuken-san had called this prime milk--colostrum. From the way he
talked about it, it cured cancer. Not that curing cancer was a biggie because
Orihime could do that, but she couldn�t make colostrum out of thin air. It was
a special elixir that spouted for mere hours from women who had just given
birth. Did it contain some magical measure of motherly love too?

Baby-bean-chan, kuromame, little one, sweet one, come
out, come out! You�re missing your first meal!

Orihime pushed down the bedsheets to expose her big nude
belly. Low light from the reading lamp that Uryuu constantly left on showed her
the plain outline of a fetal rump, a shoulder, and a round head under her
swollen skin.

You�re too comfortable.

The powers that trespassed the
sanctum of God didn�t do diddly when it came to the person growing inside her. Orihime
had never felt so separate from another being and yet so close. She could feel the
baby�s drowsy contentment; she couldn�t coax the baby into another dimension
because it loved where it was.

I�m going to leak out all your first food! Ryuuken-san
said babies need their colostrum. Wait. Maybe I can save it in a cup in the
freezer.

Would it spoil?��

What if the milk was another thing she couldn�t save--like
her own innocence from pain, like this soul or that life in a bloody war? I�ll
protect you forever, baby-bean-chan, her heart wanted to vow, but Orihime
couldn�t help but remember, with a heaving sense of panic, all the times she�d
failed to save herself.

The sorrow surged from deep inside Orihime�s right breast
and this time five clear pearls emerged on the nipple�s surface.

Then they spilled.

I�m raining, I�m pouring.

There was a Western saying about spilled milk. When Orihime had
first read the phrase in her first year English textbook, she�d thought those
people really like their milk. She couldn�t remember the saying now, but
had there been some correlation between spills and the futility of life?� Milk � a not so tasty food that most Japanese
people couldn�t digest very well. Orihime liked it vanilla flavored, but Ryuuken-san
said his son couldn�t stomach cow�s milk at all. Back in high school she�d once
bought Uryuu a strawberry smoothie, and he�d drunk the whole thing politely
while looking like he wanted to vomit. �

There was something about boy pride Orihime respected but
would never understand. He should have told her he was lactose intolerant.

The milk of human kindness.� No, that was Shakespeare. One of the plays in
which a lot of people were murdered.

There�s no use crying over spilled milk.

That was it.

And remembering the saying, Orihime started to cry.

The muffled sobs roused Uryuu whose large hands right away
clutched her bare shoulders. Orihime heard the expectancy in his breathing as
he blinked himself awake. He wasn�t going to ask what was wrong.

She hated herself for scaring him like this. She burst into
tears so often these days. One would think that the baby had died the way she
always sobbed, but yesterday she wept because August heat was exhaustingly,
gloriously thrilling and walking alongside the fountains of Karakura General Hospital
felt like walking through dots of invisible rain.

�It�s not about the weather this time.� She swallowed hard
and tried to compose herself. �It�s a little more serious--but not really.
Everything�s okay. I�m just--�

She felt the pressure of his palms lighten.

�I�m leaking stuff all over!� she blurted out.

He looked relieved. �So,� he whispered. �It�s time?�

He thought her bag of waters broke?

�No, no.� She sniffled tears. �It�s
colostrum.�

He didn�t seem to remember what that was. Because his eyes
hadn�t adjusted to the dark and he couldn�t see her obvious state of being
drenched in breastmilk, she moved his hand to cover her right breast so he
could feel the dampness.

�Why are you--?� He began and stopped, realizing the source
of the stickiness under his fingers. The motion of his thumb under her nipple
was making more come out.

She was going to run out before the baby was born. Was the
stuff that important? Was she fretting about nothing? Didn�t Uryuu always have
the nice, calm facts?

�The first milk I make is important for the baby�s
immunological system and to help it make its first poo-poo. If it doesn�t drink
this now, does that mean our baby will be born constipated?�

�Oh, Orihime.� The sweetest voice. He had the sweetest voice even though
she could hear the contained impatience in it. He cupped her crying breast and
gave it a gentle reassuring bounce. �Everything�s going to be all right.�

�But your dad said that mothers only make colostrum for
about a day. What if the baby comes tomorrow? Or next week?
What--? Why are you looking at me like that?�

He was no longer gazing at her kindly. His mouth was
displeased. �Ryuuken?�

�He�s very knowledgeable,� Orihime began.

�He�s not your obstetrician.� Uryuu frowned. �He shouldn�t
worry you with his useless information.�

�He�s the baby�s grandfather. He�s just trying to show his
concern for me in his way.� Orihime noticed the clock on the mantle. �It�s not
even midnight yet! I should call him. His information isn�t useless. He�s the
one who told me that nipple stimulation can help bring on labor, so maybe what
we did tonight started my milk coming out and maybe--�

She was reaching across the bed for the phone but Uryuu
stopped her with his chest. He looked traumatized. �I thought you read about
that in a book.�

�The nipple stimulation? I did.�

�Ryuuken suggested � he told you ��

Orihime didn�t understand why Uryuu looked so freaked out.
He and his dad had such a bizarre relationship and still so much to learn from
one another. �Oh! Don�t worry! I didn�t talk about our sex life in any detail.
I just asked if it was true that orgasms can bring on labor and he said to try
it but that if you were squeamish about going all the way that nipple
stimulation alone--Uryuu?�

Uryuu had buried his face in his hands.

�If you�re going to be a doctor,� Orihime chided, �then
you�re going to have to get used to talking about these things.�

He didn�t raise his head. �I�m going to switch to
architectural design,� came the muted miserable words.

�Then you better tell your dad you�re thinking about that
because he�s paying for medical school.�

There was a long silence. Orihime felt it pool across the
bedsheets like regret. Her insides ached with baby-fullness and a frustration
for things to be different.

Uryuu already regrets his first year of medical school,
she thought under another swell of panic.

It was too soon to be starting a family.

He was going to regret having given in to her desire to be
pregnant.

A wife who cries all the time, a baby who cries all the time,
how was he ever going to put up with this life? A wife who talks to his dad
about nipple stimulation�.

He�s going to regret ever having loved me.

Orihime shut her eyes and bawled, not even trying to hold
back. The thin bedroom walls echoed her cries.

�The poor� the poor �� she sputtered. �The
poor people upstairs. I�m a bother to everybody.�

It didn�t surprise her that his hands were comforting her,
that his fingers were kneading her skin and brushing hair out of her face. He
did that. He had always been there for her ever since they had crash-landed
together in the Seireitei. He had bandaged her wounds then. The
warrior tending to the healer. She didn�t deserve him, but life was
sweet and strange like that--it kept surprising her with sorrow after sorrow
yet kept feeding her love.

He kissed her shut eyes. His lips pressed against her wet
lashes. His tongue peeked out and touched her cheeks, following the trail of
her tears. Orihime had heard the phrase �kiss your tears away� in songs before,
but before Uryuu, she never thought anyone actually did that sort of thing. In
fact before their first kiss, she never would�ve imagined him capable of this
sort of sensuality. His hands were already combing through her hair. Like
Tatsuki said, �it�s those quiet ones you have to watch out for.�

But Orihime didn�t think her frustrations could be kissed
away this time.

�No no no no no no no,� she
whispered frantically, �no sex no sex no sex.�

�It might help stimulate labor,� Uryuu whispered back. He
was nibbling her eyebrow now.

�But I can�t have the baby when I�m all � ALL FULL OF BAD
FEELINGS.�

He pulled away at that. Orihime had given him her first ever
definitive rejection in the bedroom. His mouth was glum, and Orihime guessed
that he was hurting for her and not himself. He seemed at a loss for what to do
and that�s what bothered her most. Because if Uryuu couldn�t
handle her craziness, there was maybe no handling it.

�So many times,� she started in a hoarse voice. �So many
times I wished for things to be different.�
Is it terrible of me to wish I had the power to go back and change the
past?�

He was just going to listen; he was not going to judge. That
was so Uryuu.

�I wouldn�t change anything about us,� she added hurriedly.
�I�m so happy we found one another at last, so don�t think I would change--I
mean, if I could have loved you from the beginning all yourself instead of
loving Kurosaki-kun first �.�

Eyes that were bright blue even in the dim light were so
patient.

How could she explain? Her powers were a terrible burden
because she had them now and didn�t have them when Sora was hit by a car. She
could�ve healed him then. The loss that was in her heart to this day would
never have been born. If she�d only learned to control her powers better sooner
so many other tragedies would have been lessened. All those
Shinigami who blew apart in the bomb when she was only able to shield herself
and Uryuu and Maki Maki. All those who went to Hueco Mundo and fought
and bled for her�.

�Nii-chan�.� she started again. But there was no talking
about Sora after invoking him like that, so she suggested another person whom
she had failed.

Her hand reflexively rose the way it had the last time she�d
seen Ulquiorra and reached out to grasp something ungraspable.

�I couldn�t save--�

Uryuu�s fingers folded into hers
and held her hand tight.��

With that handclasp between them,
she and Uryuu faced one another in the still night and Orihime thought how it
looked like a ceremony of sorts, that someone should say some sacred words. She
only had stupid words, though, and stupid feelings that were still unexpressed.

�He saved your life,� she said as
if Uryuu didn�t already know what Ulquiorra did for him that day. �He saved
yours and mine and Kurosaki-kun�s and I � I couldn�t save ��

�You did,� Uryuu finally spoke. He
lowered their hands. �We�ve talked about this before. �You saved him from being alone � in those last
moments.��

All the philosopher people who
always said things like man dies alone, man is born alone--blah, blah,
those things weren�t really true, were they? How could they be when someone was
holding Orihime�s hand so tightly?

For a while there, shortly before
they were married, Uryuu had called the left hand that she had restored to him
in Las Noches �your hand.��
As in �Ouch, I plucked that new reishi string too hard with your
hand� or �Your hand fell asleep while I was lying on it,
reading� or �Shall I touch you with my right hand first or do you prefer that I
touch you with your hand?��

�Uryuu?
Is there anything you really regret?�

�No,� he said. The corner of his
mouth turned up in the slightest smile. �Not yet.�

She leaned forward, not an easy
task because her belly was so large, and kissed that smiling corner of his
mouth. �You�re wonderful. See, I already regret crying and talking so much when
we could�ve been having sex and nipple stimulation to start this baby coming
out.�

He kissed her neck and then her
throat. When his lips closed around her nipple, she felt a tug deep inside her,
the usual place where a lurching happened whenever he kissed her but this time
it � hurt.

Falling against Uryuu�s chest, she
felt herself tip over like a vase and dribble water. It was a relief but she
still felt full.

�It�s happening,� she said in an
awed voice.

And then other moments, moments
not drenched with recriminations or tears, happened, one after another. Joyous
moments, thrilling moments, moments born of love and fear and even though she
wanted to remember them forever, Orihime knew as the moments happened that she
could not save them all.

That was when she stopped
regretting.� During the brief, dizzying
labor before the baby�s birth, Orihime understood that there was no stopping or
changing or turning back life.

Life insisted on itself, even in
the wake of deaths and sorrows.

And Uryuu held her hand the whole
while.

END

English lyrics to Schubert�s Serenade:
```
... gently pleading through the night to thee
```
```
... while all are calm and silent, dearest come to me
```
```
... softly murmur in the moonlight clear, in the moonlight clear
```
```
... may watch thee none can harm thee
```
```
Wherefore dost thou fear? wherefore dost thou fear?
```
```
Come and bless me here, come and bless me here
```
```
And bless me here. 
```
This little piece had many midwives. Thanks to those who
beta-read and offered feedback and otherwise indulged my foolish hobby with
serious attention: Vayshti, LB7-sensei, Cal Reflector, and especially Neha.
- 1
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Spilled Milk