Adult-FanFiction.org : Bleach

A Shadow of What Was	By : katami Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 49594 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 93
- 94
- 95
Author's Notes: I will take a brief moment to assure everyone I am still alive, and explain my delays in posting....well, everything. It has been a busy few months for me. Firstly, I got to enjoy a move and starting a new job in April...and then a month later getting fired. I managed to scramble and get another job but I also garnered myself 10 to 13 hours of commuting each week under the worst traffic conditions known to man. I am still writing however and Shadow is going to get finished because I refuse to leave it undone.

I'll welcome all the new people to the insanity and say hi. I will also start looking for a good therapist for you one-shot people, this beast is over 200 pages and will probably hit 300 before I'm done. VanityLeague, I love art, so if you do any pics for Shadow please tell me.
* * *
Kisuke glared darkly at Hiyori but didn't bother trying to argue with her. He had lost the debate about having an escort hours ago. Frankly, he counted himself lucky that he had managed to threaten the Vaizards into allowing him out with only one protector - it had been a very near thing. The general consensus had been that his plan to meet Ichigo was foolish in the extreme. The only reason he had talked them around had been a fine mixture of logic and threat - namely that if he was not allowed to go the Vaizards would have had to make him a prisoner and keep him confined. And that if they did so, he would not only refuse to reassure Ichigo that he was alright, but would in fact, scream his head off if they tried to contact the Shinigami. The threat of an enraged Kurosaki Ichigo was enough to make even Shinji and Hiyori pause.

An hour of negotiation had ended up with none of them happy but with him going on his date and Hiyori playing chaperone.

He strolled into the shouten yard with her at his heels, something in his chest tightening and his mouth going dry as he caught sight of Ichigo pacing on the porch steps. His hair nearly glowed in the light of the setting sun and as he caught sight of them his mouth opened on a silent 'O' that made him look closer to the teenager of Urahara's memory than a battle hardened veteran. Gray eyes met brown and both of them stared; in the background he could hear Hiyori grumble but the only thing that seemed to matter were those endless brown eyes and the man they belonged to. Kisuke felt himself falling away, not the cold anger of captain but something warmer and gentler, not pushing him aside but rising up to meet him and tug him along in its wake.

The distance between them closed, his hand reaching for Ichigo's, almost touching... until a small tow haired body planted itself between them. "Do not make me kick your ass," growled Hiyori, glaring up at him. For a moment a flash of anger slid through him, but quickly on its heels came fear. He had been...He wasn't even sure, all he'd known was Ichigo and the soul deep need to touch him. A warm hand touched his and Kisuke shivered, startled gray eyes meeting brown.

"It's alright, Kisuke," soothed Ichigo very softly. And for the tiniest moment, Ichigo's hand warm against his, the redhead's reiatsu gently brushing over him - it was. The shock and confusion, the tiny bit of fear, it was all buried under the rightness of Ichigo. He felt safe, where he belonged, because no matter how confused he was over his own feelings, or how far he strayed into the darkness, Ichigo would always be right there, loving him, supporting him, drawing him back.

Making him a better person for having loved him, realized Kisuke, getting a wash of gentle amusement from deep inside. 'And now you know why I love him so,' whispered Urahara, his touch warm and laced with sorrow. Kisuke shivered again and gave a tiny nod, he did understand. Being caught in it was still frightening, but it was no long a cold terror, it was the heady rush of racing the wind down a steep hill on a spring day

"Let's sit down," he murmured softly, ignoring Hiyori - as best he could since the little Vaizard was almost impossible to ignore completely. Ichigo immediately nodded, taking the large bag he had been carrying and neatly side-stepping Hiyori to wrap an arm around his waist. Kisuke felt a jolt of awareness and gave the other man a tiny smile, leaning close and pretending he couldn't hear Hiyori cursing behind them.

"Are you sure you're alright? I know last night..." began Ichigo.

"I'm still...a little unbalanced," admitted the blonde quietly. "But it's getting better. We talked last night and..."

"You talked?" demanded both Ichigo and Hiyori, both of them stopping and staring at him. Kisuke could hear ringing laughter in his ears - twin bursts of it. The looks of worried shock on Ichigo and Hiyori's faces were like an old friend and dragged a true smile to his lips. It was terrible of him, but it felt good to be the one unsettling everyone else; he was tired of the one being off balance and out of step.

"Hat-n-Clogs and the Captain and I," he explained softly. Worry flashed over Ichigo's face, chased by concern and horror. Hiyori's face held the same emotions and for a moment Kisuke felt a burst of annoyance. He wasn't crazy. He might have been fractured but he wasn't insane - in fact, he was handling it all very well if he did say so. Other than a few small emotional displays he had been the very picture of mental health.

"Kisuke?" whispered the redhead, a hand reaching out gently for him.

There was a tiny moment of disorientation as Ichigo's hand touched his shoulder and Urahara's consciousness slid against him again, as soft and comforting as slipping into a familiar robe after a warm bath. Gray eyes blinked and then met brown, warming to resemble nothing so much as molten silver. "It's fine, Ichigo. It had to be this way or I would have gone insane. No one can grow up remembering hundreds of years - not and remain sane. It just makes remembering them now a little hard," quipped the blonde with a falsely bright smile, Urahara's old smile, the one that he used to try and mask the hurt, the one Ichigo had been able to see through since that spring night out on the porch.

The redhead shoved their meals at Hiyori, wrapping the blonde in his arms, his embrace fierce and defiant, a blatant refusal to let the universe take him again. "My Ichigo," whispered Urahara, turning the redhead's name into an endearment and his voice breaking on it.

"Kisuke," whimpered Ichigo, clutching him tighter.

"Not yet, but soon, my love," promised Urahara retreating slowly, but not as far.

Kisuke found his head resting on the other man's shoulder without really realizing how, breathing in the faint scent of him and feeling Ichigo softly fighting back tears. His arms went around the Shinigami's waist and the blonde relaxed against him more. In the distance Hiyori was calling them names, but that didn't matter, all that mattered was that he was right where he belonged and in the arms of person he belonged with. For once there was only peace in Ichigo's arms, no conflict, no fear.

"Love," he breathed the endearment softly into the redhead's hair. The word drawing a faint smile to Kisuke's lips because he could hear the understanding behind it. And the truth of it. Whether Urahara Kisuke or Mizuno Kisuke, they each belonged with the redhead equally.

Kisuke yelped as a bony foot connected sharply with his thigh and a moment later Ichigo cursed. "Stop being stupid and eat your damn dinner before it gets cold," snarled Hiyori, fangs showing and lightning crackling in her eyes, daring them to go toe to toe with her.

"Brat," growled Ichigo, snatching the food back and steering Kisuke into the shouten. The younger man smiled as he saw that the main room had been cleared out and scrubbed. The setting was simple and slightly formal, more like a small dinner party than a date and Kisuke smiled. There was nothing overtly romantic about it which made it all the sweeter. Ichigo gently guided him to a cushion and Kisuke watched as he stumbled around setting things up and growling at Hiyori whenever she got in the way. The whole thing made him smile and the next time Ichigo came near, Kisuke reached up and caught his hand, gently urging the redhead to sit down beside him. Ichigo looked slightly pole-axed but grinned and eagerly complied, continuing to hold his hand even after he was seated.

He leaned close to Ichigo, the scent of cumin and peanuts tickling his nose and making him sigh and rested his head on the redhead's shoulder. A warm arm slipped around his back and Kisuke smiled as he felt Ichigo's head shift toward his.

"You two are seriously fucked up, you know that right?" demanded Hiyori, attacking her meal and staring at them from across the table.

"This from a pipsqueak who can't come out and admit her deep and abiding love for Shinji." Ichigo's voice was half growl and half mocking taunt. Hiyori froze and Kisuke watched with utter delight as her face went first pale and then bright red.

"You sick, perverted FREAK!" screamed the Vaizard, knocking her dinner aside and lunging across the table for Ichigo. The redhead, pushed him aside and out of the way of the girl, jerking back himself. He didn't go far enough though and Kisuke began laughing as Hiyori landed on Ichigo and then went flying as he rolled backwards. Both Vaizards were on their feet an instant later, glaring at each other and waiting for the next attack. Kisuke merely laughed until tears streamed over his cheeks and he had to hold his middle or risk throwing up.

He wasn't sure which of them noticed him first but the blonde soon found both Ichigo and Hiyori staring at him, both trying to look as if they hadn't been wrestling. "Shut up," scolded Hiyori, reclaiming her seat and not looking at them. Ichigo merely frowned and called him a dummy, but settled down next to him and the hand that touched his was still filled with cautious affection.

"Was our first date anything like this?" asked Kisuke, still chuckling and leaning into Ichigo's fingers as they gently wiped away his tears.

Ichigo blushed, chuckling a little. "Not really, we sort of went at the whole thing ass over elbows. We had been sleeping together for about a month and... Well, I was sick of hanging around the shouten, sneaking around and stealing kisses whenever we weren't training or fighting or just trying to get enough sleep to function. So I dragged you out to a carnival. You protested the whole time, muttering about how you had work to do and how people would notice and my dad would kill you. But I just dragged you anyway."

He could picture it, a balmy summer evening, the sun just beginning to set, his hand warm in Ichigo's firm grip as the younger man hauled him along, ignoring his protests, ignoring anything that stood between Ichigo and what he wanted. Kisuke wasn't exactly sure when Ichigo had stopped needing to drag him, he only knew that sometime between the shouten and wandering the booths, Ichigo's grip had gone from insuring compliance to simply holding his hand.

"You made me ride that horrible spinning thing," he accused softly, the memory coming almost like it was his own, earning a startled laugh from Ichigo. "Yeah, and you puked all over the operator's shoes." There was love and laughter in his eyes, so much happiness. "And pouted at me until I bought you that whole bunch of balloons." He hadn't understood it, but he had indulged it, and looking back Kisuke wasn't sure he understood the whim himself. Perhaps it was simply wanting to know Ichigo would indulge him. Or perhaps it was the simple longing of a Rukongai street-rat to recapture a bit of the childhood he had never had. He didn't know, all he knew was the warm pleasure that had suffused him when Ichigo had presented him the entire bunch of balloons, a rainbow kaleidoscope of colors, all his.

He had clung to Ichigo's arm after that, filled with a new wonder for carnival and the person showing it to him. He had to have eaten his weight in hot dogs and candy apples and cotton candy, but Ichigo had only smiled and let him. The redhead had never once scolded him or told him he was going to make himself sick. For one glorious evening Ichigo had let him be young and foolish.

"You took me on the Ferris wheel," he murmured, hearing the long ago Ichigo grumbling about the balloons as the redhead of the present pulled him into a cautious embrace. For a moment past and present blurred, he was warm and relaxed, wrapped in the arms of the person he loved. Nothing beyond that mattered.

"You stopped it," murmured Ichigo, his voice a soft whisper of amusement. "Although I still don't know how."

He had stopped it; not that he would ever admit it. But a small flicker of kidou in the electronics was not even child's play for someone like him. And the chance to sit there on top of the world, the sun's last dying rays caught in the balloons, with Ichigo had simply been too tempting.

They must have kissed for an hour, just kissing, slow and sweet and everything he'd never known he'd wanted.

Gray eyes met brown, both filled with silky warmth for the memory of something perfect.

"Try it and I will kick your ass, both of your asses," snarled Hiyori from her position a few meters off.

"Why did we bring her?" demanded Ichigo, with a dark glare for the little Vaizard.

"To keep you to from fucking things up again," retorted Hiyori.

Kisuke blushed, touching Ichigo's hand, which had clenched into a fist. Instantly brown eyes were focused on him again, filled with concern, and a sword calloused hand was reaching out to caress his cheek. "I forget myself with you, get carried away. It's not bad, but it's...it's frightening...feeling so much, remembering things I've never done."

Warm lips brushed gently over his in a chaste kiss, brown eyes regarding him tenderly. "I would never hurt you, Kisuke. Not for anything in the world," the redhead promised earnestly, drawing a faint smile to the blonde's lips because it was impossible not to believe Ichigo.
- 93
- 94
- 95
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

A Shadow of What Was