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A Shadow of What Was	By : katami Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 49594 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 90
- 91
- 92
Author's Notes: Here is the next chapter, Phoenix. No need for more poking or to unsheathe the katana.

Daydreamer, I am amazed anyone can read this beast in one sitting anymore. And while on the one hand I'm glad you caught my error, I now have to figure out how to correct it. *Grumbles and shakes fist at the massiveness that is Shadow* Maybe I'll just correct the final draft version I am compiling and call that good enough. *sigh*

Anyway, on with the story!

* * *
"What the hell are you doing!?!"

The voice cut across him like a whip, startling him and causing his hand to slip. Ryuuken winced as the needle he had been holding stabbed into the delicate skin of his stomach, drawing a small drop of blood. Of course, with all the other blood staining his midsection it was unlikely anyone would notice the new bit. Ryuuken glanced up from his midsection and the wound he had been trying to suture shut.

Isshin stood in the doorway of his office, a bag of food on the floor, staring at him with horrified shock. "What the hell are you doing!?" demanded the Shinigami, stalking towards him with that sort of outraged determination that Kurosaki's were so good at.

"I would think it would be obvious what I was doing," he snarled at the former Shinigami, pain blurring the edges of his vision and making his temper sharp. He had given himself a local so he could clean and close the wound, but he had kept the dosage low, not wanting to fog his senses too much. It would be too easy to bleed to death or go into shock if he blocked the pain entirely. He needed to know if he became too weak to go on.

"You mean other than bleeding all over your office like a stuck pig?" snapped Isshin, stomping back to the door and slamming it, snarling at his secretary that Dr. Ishida was unavailable before flipping the lock. Ryuuken growled a protest as the other man shoved his hand aside and began to examine the wound to his side.

"Not fatal, although nasty as hell. What the hell happened to you? And why are you sewing yourself up? In case it escaped your notice, you have a whole hospital full of eager young doctors who would fall over themselves to do you a favor," snarled Isshin, continuing to probe the wound with gentle fingers.

"Uryuu did not take the news of my courting Kuchiki-san well," said Ryuuken, blue eyes sliding closed as weariness began to set in. In reality it was more likely blood loss he told reminded himself, but he didn't have to care, Isshin was there and Isshin would patch him up. He might nettle the other man from time to time, but Isshin was a brilliant physician.

"So he shot you?!?!" demanded Isshin incredulously, he had moved on to inspecting the stitches Ryuuken had already made - about five in a wound that would take twelve to fifteen to close. "What the hell is wrong with you people?! Nice work on the stitches, not up to your usual, but still very nice given the circumstances." Isshin gave him a pointed stare and a nod to the office.

"So glad you approve. Just finish closing the fucking thing. It hurts like hell," growled Ryuuken.

"Give me a moment," retorted Isshin. "What did you give yourself?"

"A light dose of procaine," muttered Ryuuken, wincing as Isshin lightly brushed a finger over the stitches he had already done. The procaine was starting to wear off; making him wonder if he hadn't given himself a little lighter dosage than intended.

"I'm going to give you another," murmured Isshin, straightening and glancing around for the needle and the anesthetic. Ryuuken reluctantly nodded to the sideboard. "Have you taken an antibiotic yet?" demanded Isshin as he found the procaine and prepared another shot.

"Why no, Isshin, because I am a complete moron! Yes, I took one! Broad spectrum. Just close the damned thing," snarled Ryuuken, pain fraying his temper. He wanted this over with so he could go home and have a good stiff drink; only remembering at the last moment that thee antibiotics, as well as the procaine, would not go well mixed with alcohol. The realization soured his mood even more. He hissed as Isshin gave him another shot of anesthetic, his eyes slipping closed as he waited for the local to take effect.

"So Uryuu didn't like the idea of your dating? Or was it Rukia-chan in particular he objected to? Or was it you dating in the broader sense?" murmured Isshin, giving him a poke. Ryuuken sighed, there was the sensation of pressure but no real pain.

"It's good. Just close it up and slap a bandage on it. One more scar," he said wearily, blue eyes opening, eyes that looked closer to a thousand than a hundred. "And we didn't get around to discussing the finer points of his objections. Uryuu took a more reactive stance to discovering my intensions and from there it was all downhill."

Isshin sighed, that heavy one that said Ryuuken had fucked up badly somewhere along the way - only the Quincy could never quite figure out where. Or how to fix it. He had learned long ago that anything he did to try and correct whatever flaw Isshin was trying to point out only made things worse in the long run. It made him wonder if there wasn't some fundamental flaw written into the genetic code of all Quincy - they were utterly hopeless when it came to deciphering anything emotional. A brief consideration of the matter made him conclude that it was far more likely that they were all just fucked up - and passed the condition on to their offspring.

"I suppose I should be glad he wasn't aiming at anything vital," muttered Isshin, his hands moving quickly and surely to close the wound.

"He was. I have this thanks to Abarai's intervention and the fact that my son can't hit the broad side of a barn when he gets emotional," muttered Ryuuken.

"How the hell did that happen? You can shoot a dime at a hundred paces in the dark, Ryuuken - I know, I've seen you do it."

"I'm not the bastard my father was, a fact Uryuu should be grateful for," grumbled the Quincy. No, he hadn't made the same mistakes his father had - he had gone and made whole new ones. For a moment Ryuuken wondered whose mistakes had done more damage, his or Souken's. Finally he decided it didn't really matter when the end result was the same - Uryuu hating him.

"All done. Remember, no pulling at them and no water," announced Isshin, lightly taping a pad over the wound and standing to give him a gentle smile. For a moment blue eyes met brown and then Ryuuken found himself being carefully hugged. His instincts were to rebel and snarl but he was tired and hurt, and this was Isshin. Isshin who had laughed with him and cried with him, shared the good and the bad. The pale haired Quincy sighed and let himself sag against the former Shinigami. Isshin wouldn't tell anyone that he had been weak and had for this one moment needed.

"So what are you going to do?" the other man eventually asked, his voice breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen between them. Ryuuken sluggishly roused himself from the numb, thoughtless place he had retreated to, grateful for the moment of peace but knowing that it was over.

"I know what I should do," sighed Ryuuken, easily able to track the course of Isshin's concerns. What was he going to do about Kuchiki now that he knew Uryuu was so opposed to it? Ryuuken gently shifted free of the dark haired man's grasp, knowing he had to pick up his life once more and take up all the burdens Isshin had let him ignore for that short time. He carefully stood and moved to his couch, settling gingerly on it before laying down.

"You are not going to just dump her," scowled Isshin, bracing himself against his desk and glaring at him. "You've been happier than I've seen you in years these last few days and it is entirely her doing. Besides, you need more than just me coming around to bother you. Rukia is good for you."

"I am aware of that, Isshin. That was before my son tried to kill me however," retorted the Quincy, not bothering to open his eyes and deliver the cutting look Isshin clearly deserved.

"You have a point. And in any other family I would consider it a serious obstacle; but we are talking about the Ishida family. You lot have always been completely fucked up when it comes to dealing with each other and emotional issues."

Ryuuken's head rolled to the side to glare darkly at his friend. "I would remind you that while I might be tired, drugged and wounded, I can still put an arrow through any part of you in under a second," he growled, earning nothing more than a dismissive wave from the other man, Isshin knowing he wouldn't bother to shoot at him. Damn Shinigami bastard.

"I-I don't want him to hate me, Isshin," he finally admitted in a very soft voice, turning his face away from his friend. He didn't want Isshin to see all the lingering pain and doubt and fear in his eyes. He hated his own father, hated him with a bitter coldness that had almost frozen every part of him. Souken had been a controlling bastard, and while he might not have been overtly abusive, the emotional wounds he had inflicted went all the way to the core. He didn't want Uryuu to feel that way about him. As much as he loathed admitting it, he wanted Uryuu to love him and be proud to be his son.

Ryuuken felt a warm hand settle on his shoulder, but didn't bother to turn and look at Isshin. "We'll figure something out, Ryuuken," promised the other man softly - and for just a moment the Quincy believed him. "But no dumping Rukia. I already told the Vaizards we were getting a poker night going again! And just the old gang would get dull."

Ryuuken chuckled despite himself and glanced over to catch a wry smile on the dark haired man's lips. "Glad to know your concern is appropriately placed," drawled Ryuuken, a smile dragging over his lips.

"Poker is scared. And I don't want to see you screw up the best thing to happen to you in years."
- 90
- 91
- 92
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A Shadow of What Was