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Forged Confessions	By : BookMaggot Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male > Ukitake/Shunsui Views: 3963 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 5
Disclaimer: None of Bleach do I own, nor do I make any money, I cannot reap what I not sown, so please do not sue me!

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
Holy damn this was supposed to be up almost a week ago! No excuses this time, >_< just me being very lazy. Real sorry but here it is and I really hope it was worth the wait.
The chapter feels a little rushed for me. I tried to work on that as I was going through it again last night but I don’t think I got it down quite well. So if you guys felt it was a little rushed or perhaps something else bugged you, by all means let me know! As always I love constructive crit :)
Thanks for all the awesome reviews! Remember all reviews are answered here : http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/47772-review-replies-to-forged-confessions/#entry323009
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Finding Courage
Kenpachi was sitting quietly under the cool shade of a cherry tree when the unmistakable reiatsu of desperation slid across the quad. He cracked open a dark eye. The energy spilled and rushed out in vast quantities, blanketing the bustling garden into a perturbed silence. He did not need to look to know from where it was coming.
The silence was stifling. But above the roar of desperation Kenpachi could also sense the smallest reiatsu of complete despair. He didn’t need to be a genius to know whose it was but the undertone of frustration and pain was enough.
“Come on ya old fart,” he muttered softly, breathing in the scent of gloom and misery “He aint gonna last much longer,”
“Who ya talkin’ too Kenny?’
He didn’t answer the small bundle of energy and life sitting quietly beside him. Instead he sighed, his voice rasping as he looked up through the waving leaves and at the sunny sky. Part of him had expected them to rage at this moment. To roar and cry their outrage to the world but the clear blue heavens showed no signs of leaving.
Just as well, he thought, he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
* * *
“Isane, I need time to build up his reiatsu. Focus on his body we need to keep him breathing,”
“Hai!”
The continued battle for his life was almost deafening but he could not bring himself to move. Shunsui had been trying to reach Jushiro’s reiatsu for the better part of ten minutes. But the distressing truth was no matter how far he tried to reach he couldn’t find it. It was frightening to learn how far his friend had slipped away in the span of only a few short hours, and harrowing to know he was the cause of it.
“His heart rate is dropping again,”
“Dammit,” a rare curse flew from her lips, “All of you help Isane keep his body going, his reiatsu isn’t responding”
How many times had he sat outside Jushiro’s rooms listening to this? How many times had he thought that this time was the time he would lose him for good? He felt a bitter laugh bubble up. If he had known then what he knew now he would never have mused such things, he would simply have enjoyed their friendship and made sure that Jushiro in turn enjoyed life to the full.
The laugh simmered away.
If he knew then what he knew now? He’d liked to think things would have been different, that his reaction and answer would have been different.
“It doesn’t matter what answer you have.”
“He’s stopped breathing!”
Shunsui’s arms tightened around his legs.
“Whether you accept him, forgive him or condemn him”
“I need more time!”

He blinked a few times, trying to stop another wave of tears.
“Fact is…”
“We’re losing him!”
His head snapped up.
“...you still have to do it,”
The despair and fear turned and coiled in the pit of his stomach, boiling and burning until it shifted and shaped into something completely different; sheer desperation. He would never remember the moment he moved, only that in the next blink he was next to his friend, his hands shoving away a woman he had learned to fear, and grabbing desperately forwards to the lifeless body on the bed. When his hands closed around those wiry shoulders and brought his limp body to his chest it was all he could not to sob incoherently.
Shunsui knew that somewhere above the haze of complete terror Retsu was yelling at him in her own way to just let go. But no force in this world could tear his arms away from Jushiro right now. He was dying, Jushiro was too far gone, and this was the only chance he would ever get to tell him what he needed to say.
It was second nature for his reiatsu to reach out to Jushiro’s but it was shocking to find how deep he finally had to dig before he could smell the sea. It had always been such an effortless task, to stretch out and touch the ocean when he was relaxing on a roof or needed comfort when Old-man Yama was giving him a hard time. Effortless and comforting, and now it was a sheer battle to stay in contact with the small green flickering patch of life.
His voice shuddered when he sighed into his neck.
“Jushiro? Can you hear me?” there would be no answer but he pressed on with a bitter smile, “I just wanted to tell you...” he paused to swallow past the lump in his throat, his voice thick with painful emotion as he finally found the courage to answer his friend, “That I love you too,”
The room fell silent but Shunsui did not mind witnesses. He had never cared much for what others thought of him, it was an opinion Jushiro had always shared. Anything Shunsui had ever done or said he always supported with zeal, laughed along with and at times even joined in. They had been in more trouble than all the Captains combined and had managed to get arrested over ten times before Central 46 declared them incorrigible and left them to Yamamoto. Something which they both had agreed was a far worse punishment than prison.
And as these memories started to fill him the realization of what exactly he was losing finally set in, and the sobs he had been holding back broke free in ragged and jagged coughs. They ripped through his body, his hands in response gripping Jushiro hard enough to bruise but he knew it wouldn’t matter. This was all he had left of a 2000 year old friendship a bitter and painful goodbye, and memories forever stained with ‘what might have been’s’.
Calming down somewhat, he leaned back and looked at the quiet face of his friend, pained and tired, gaunt and frayed, frail and weak. Everything Jushiro never should be. But despite this he wanted something, a selfish need to take something with him before the inevitable struck. So with a hollow feeling he leaned down, closing the distance for the first time and kissed him lightly on the lips.
They were dry and motionless, and they tasted of medicine. But they were strangely warm despite everything, and Shunsui pressed a little harder, hoping to burn this memory into him before Jushiro left this world for good. Above this haze of loss he heard a short gasp but it was as distant as a bird song in a hurricane, and so very insignificant to the taste and texture of Jushiro’s lips.
Finally he pulled away, feeling as if he’d taken more than he was truly allowed, and he pulled back to look at Jushiro one last time in life.
And he was met with two striking green eyes.
* * *
There we go updated!
- 8
- 9
- 10
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Forged Confessions