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Tortured Soul	By : Lord_Xusecer Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male > Renji/Ichigo Views: 3064 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own bleach or any of it contents. I do not profit from it or make any money in any way, shape or from.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
Chapter 8
The kiss was amazing; I never thought it would actually be like that. I mean I have kissed multiple guys before, but never one that had a spark like that. It just seemed so right at that moment just to kiss him, I never intended on that happening. He felt great and that we both seemed to want made that much better.
Renji was awesome I never felt so safe like I did with him, just having him hold seemed like it inspired confidence in me. I have never felt like this with another person before. Perhaps this is love, or maybe a sense of what safety means. I never had this type of thing before. I always had to look over my back, and the one time I didn't I got me here in a bed on the verge of dying. That memory played back and I scared me half to death, being in the mists of a psychopath like that, I just thank god that Renji found me when he did.
"Ichigo we have to call your Family. Your sisters will never forgive us if we don't." I heard Rukia say as I just looked at her. She turned and walked out of the room, just as was about to convince her not. I doubt she would even take no for an answer.
It was now or never. I knew that meant dealing with my father but I had to if I was going to break free of him. I just looked at the wall. I wanted to scream no at the top of my lungs, that I didn't want to deal with it. That is when Yuzu and Karin popped in my head, as I knew they were both worries about me. Well Yuzu more than Karin, but still deep down they both cared.
I watched as Renji got up from kneeling on the floor, as I looked at him. He was about to leave when he seem to catch the look on my face. He stopped and leaned on the door frame.
"Are you ok?" he just asked me. I wanted of course to scream no! Fuck no! I'm far from it, Rukia wants to call my family and now I have to deal with my father so what do you think! But I didn't. I just turned my head away not making the slightest impression that he leaving was going to bother me a bit. He just sighed and walked back to the bed and sat at the corner.
"You know that isn't going to help, and keeping that all bottled up like that isn't helping either. If you don't want me to leave I will stay, I don't have a problem with it." I just looked at him. Was he really offering to stay? I mean I know I just kissed him and all, but I thought that this whole idea of a relationship was going to take time. This isn't something you make happen overnight isn't it. Of course I have no idea, I never been in one before. Being seventeen with no experience was not helping either. All I was used to was flings in the dark half the time, where you know enough about each other to have sex and that is just about it. Or In my case your father arranges it and gets paid doing it. I just signed again as I looked at him.
"I know…" that all I said as he looked at me with that look of concern. He again placed his hand on my shoulder.
"There is something else isn't there? I can't help unless you tell me Ichigo." He looked at me and just smiled trying to comfort me which was appreciated, but the fact was I wasn't ready to deal with my father. I don't think I'll ever be ready.
"I can't Renji…" I signed as I tried not to sound like I was needy.
"Ichigo, I will be right here when he comes. You don't have to do it alone. If you want I can be at your side. I promise that I will not let him hurt you again." he sounded so sincere when he said that, but how could I ask that of him. He is my father, how the hell am I going to stand up to him if I keep asking for someone to hold my hand all the time. He was right I didn't want to be alone with him. My father coming to see me was bad enough.
"Renji, I can't ask that of you. Even though I would like that, I need to do this alone. I need to stand up to him." he looked concerned.
"Fine, if that's what you want." He said as he got back up looking rather concerned and hurt by the fact I turned him down, but I think he knows what I want to do. I want to prove to my father that he doesn't control me anymore. It wasn't a bit after they came. I just tensed as I heard come in the door and greeted Urahara. I can tell when my father puts on his show, he thinks he has everyone convinced. I heard him come back to the room as Renji lead him to me. I could tell right then and there that my father was not impressed with Renji. He had that hate in his eyes like someone was going to steal me from him. He just maintained his façade as he entered in the room.
I cringed as he shot me one of his evil looks; it immediately went away as he thanked Renji for leading him to me. Renji turned and left the room as my father grabbed and closed the door. Immediately that demon was unleashed as he made to the side of my bed.
"You fucking cunt of a whore. You found someone didn't you!" he sneered as he pulled the cloth on my shirt up and pulled me to his face. He acted like he was smelling me like a dog would and threw me back down to the bed.
"I smell it all over you, how dare you!" He smiled and pointed his finger. "I see you have gotten some of your confidence back haven't you. What did your worthless Zanpakuto, or those sluts standing out there bring it back for courage back to you." I looked at him straight in the face and sneered at him.
"He is not a slut; the only slut here is you!" I told him anger rising in my voice. "How dare you insult either of them, it's not my fault yours abandoned you!"
He slapped me across the face "How Fucking dare you!" Who the hell do you think you are, watch your tone with me boy, or you'll regret It." he threatened as I pulled back away grabbing the spirit badge that was left on the desk.
"You wouldn't dare boy. I still can take care of you without my Zanpakuto." He threatens as his place his hand on my wrist pinning to the bed. I punched him in the stomach as he wheeled back trying to recover.
"You know you may have had me at one point, but now I don't have any love left for you." I said as pulled the spirit badge to my chest and popped out in my spirit form. I pulled out Zangetsu as he hummed in rage in my hands.
"I think I should introduce you to my Zanpakuto," as I placed down and pointed it at him. "His name is Zangetsu and now he not too pleased with you." I looked over behind near the door as I watch both Rukia and Renji standing there. I watching Renji he had a smile on his face as he moved to the side telling me I had a clear shot if I needed it. I stood there as my resolve built up, while Zangetsu was humming and emitting a blue aura. I had never seen him act like this before; it was like he had some much rage built up at him. It seemed my father ignited his rage even more. He never had done this to anything else, not even Aizen when I tried to stop him from leaving from the soul society. My father just smiled as he pulled something similar from his pocket.
"You know you're not the first one that was not allowed in their ranks." He smiled as he placed in on his chest as well and popped out in his spirit form. "I have been there and done that, I despise there kind, and I see they have you." He turned around and looked at Renji in the face.
"So you're the slut I have to thank for this, turning my son against me. And who is this? Rukia is it? You're the girl that I let stay with us right? I should have known when you mysteriously popped up that you were with them. My son has chosen the wrong people to hang out with; I thought I made it clear that he was not to consort with your kind." He pointed at Rukia as he turned and eyed Renji conspicuously.
"You are poison to this world, hunting the very thing that in the end kills you. You couldn't even do your job and save my wife, and for that I hate all of you. Now my son has chosen this as well." I just looked at my father in shame. Renji was and Rukia were the best damn things that could have happened to me, they saved me from him, reminded me that I had what it took. I just looked back as Renji just growled as he popped out of his gigi. He had grabbed the soul dispenser from his pocket and popped one in his mouth. Rukia just watch as she backed away, I think she wanted to join but realized that she would just be in the way.
"Ichigo I will never forgive you for Masaki choosing you over me. My wife chose to save you over her love for me, and her two daughters. You are scum Ichigo, worthless, and now a known gay faggot. I knew you were when I started to sell you out, but hey it was free money. I relished every damn week I spent in those bars and casinos." I just tensed up when I heard him say that to me, it hurt so bad to know he hated me so much. I though at least he had some love for me, man was I mistaken. I just lost it here as I charged him and he dodged it without a problem, soon I watched as Renji joined in as well.
"Oh wait is see, I should have guessed when I sensed you go to your soul form, a Lieutenant level soul reaper, which is a slut and a whore. I should thank you for showing my son how to die with honor at least, and not for showing him how to be disrespectful to his family line." Renji just looked at him as shunpoed behind and he raised his Zanpakuto and the next thing I noticed was my father flying to the wall.
"If I'm anything, it's a friend to someone who needed it the most." I heard Renji say as he shunpoed behind him again. "If anything I'm a hell of a lot better than you'll ever be." My father dodged the next blow as I watched him recover. He moved faster than anything I seen as he hit Renji square in the stomach and sent him flying to the wall.
"Better Hun." My father mocked as he walked over to him, "Tsk tsk, is that what their teaching there lieutenants now in days. Pathetic really I wonder is good old Yamanto is still kicking, he's just as bad as the rest of you." I shunpoed behind him and stuck him, and he tried to dodge it. I managed to graze him with my Zanpakuto. I recovered as I dodged his next blow and shunpoed back a little. I grabbed the hilt of Zangetsu as I called Bankai out loud.
"Really now is that fair for someone who doesn't have a Zanpakuto." My father laughed as he backed up at little, "Now the fun starts." he said as he pulled something that resembled a Zanpakuto. I finally finished my transformation as Zangetsu's aura called to me. He was pleased that I chose to allow him to help.
"Fun no!" I said as I shunpoed behind him again he tried to make strike and again I appeared in front of him. "If you think this is fun for your son to have to fight his father you're sorely mistaken" He growled at me as he tried again to hit me I just dodged him again.
"Give up I'm not going to fight you." I said as I again dodge his attack and appeared behind him.
"Coward!" he screamed at the top of him lungs at me as he tried again to hit me I blocked it with my Zanpakuto.
"There happy I faced you, now get over it!" I said as I appeared behind him yet again. I noticed Renji finally recovered from that blow, but he was slow to get up. I knew my father did a number on him even though he didn't have a Zanpakuto. I then shunpoed beside him as I helped him up, he just looked at with that approval like he was happy I finally stood up to him he grunted as he pulled my hand off of him, I just looked as he made a reference to my father. I knew he was fine but I wanted to make sure.
"I'm fine!" he said as he moved back a little. I looked over to my left somehow we blew the wall out of urahara's shop and where outside. I moved away focusing on my father who was just standing there with an angry look on his face.
"I am impressed, you have learned far more than I thought. You now able to hold a Bankai in the real world, but I still hold my opinion, though. You still don't have what it takes. You refuse to kill, why use a Zanpakuto if you have no intent behind It." my father mocked as I looked at him. I shifted my Zanpakuto in my hand and moved up slightly.
"I don't want to kill you, as much as I hate you; I have respect for those living in this world."
"Oh spare me the righteousness act and talk. You have no idea what it means to be one of them. They will use you and throw you away every time, trust me I know." I clench my fist as he spoke. I knew he was right, that what this badge was for to allow to remain one of them and do work outside of the society. I was never to become one of them, but it didn't care.
"I rather do good than be like you. They may do that, and I don't care. You have no right to talk about them like that anyway. You abandoned them, and in turn so did your Zanpakuto. You're just despicable. All the shit you did to me, I should have a death vengeance on you, but yet I don't." I said as I looked at him and made his move, he charged at me as I dodged him again.
"Your stupid boy, you should use it for what it is intended for." he said as he tried to black slash me but failed as I spun around and sent him flying in the air. I shunpoed near him as kept up with him, the rage in his eyes boiled.
"Do it damn you, do it!" I just looked at him as I backed off letting him hit the ground and he got back up. He charged me again this time I blocked hit, the speed of my slash stopped him before he could even raise his up to try to slash me.
"I told you I will not kill you, but neither will I put up with your shit anymore. I have a life that I'm willing to live. I choose them over you, and I will choose them over anything you have to say about it. So when I say stay the fuck out of my life I mean it. I do not ever want to see you again. I done with your shit and I'm done with trying to save you. I'm done with it all. If you touch me, Renji, or any of my friends you will regret it dearly. Trust me if you do I will kill you with no hesitation." I said as I picked him up and punched as hard as I could in the stomach sending him flying in the direction of our house.
"Stay away from me!" I yelled as he flew in the direction I sent him looking at me with rage in his eyes. I let out a breath as I dropped to the ground and reverted back. I picked out my body and slide back in it. It hurt to stand as I limped back inside of the shop walking to Renji. When I got here, He grabbed me by the waist as he helped lead me back in side.
"Ichigo, I'm sorry" he said as he looked at me. "I tried to but…"
"It fine Renji really. I handled him, and I'm fine that's all that matters." We made it back to the bed as I climbed back in it and grunted in pain. It hurt to move my body was still sore from all the trauma. I looked at him and sighed. I realized that when I told him that, I had no place to go. I looked at Renji with that questioning look.
"What?" asked Renji as he motioned for me to move over on the bed. I did as he climbed in and nuzzled against me. I didn't know how take it; I never had anyone do this. Confusion hit my face as he looked at me and smiled.
"Relax, I won't do anything I swear, that is unless you want me to." he said as he grabbed me by the waist and cuddle up to me. "I am happy that you stood up to him, but I would have killed him." he said as I looked at him, anger flashing his face and eyes because of him.
"No Renji I would have stopped you. We are better than him. I will not stoop down to his level." I said kind of surprised and irritated that he would think that way. I know why he was, it wasn't right but still.
"I know, but still I'm allowed to think that way, aren't I." he said as he looked straight in the eyes with a serious look. "What now? Do you do you have a plan." He asked as I just looked at him and hung my head. What he said hit me as I realized that I didn't, that I had nowhere to go.
"No I don't" I looked at him "I didn't exactly think this through." He just looked at me and smiled
"You know you could always come with me. It won't be the best though but it's still better than the alternative.
"I don't know Renji. Do you think they will expect me? I did try to save Rukia and in the process defeated allot of the captains and lieutenants. I think I pissed a lot of them off in the process." I said as he just smiled placed his head on my chest. He laid there as he looked at me looking like he was in a long thought process.
"Like it said it won't be perfect, but I think it will be fine. I'm sure they will let you join one of the squads. I know I would like it, if you came." He smiled at me as he kissed me. I melted to it as I kissed him back. It was so strange sharing something with someone, I always was on my own, having someone equally worried about me was something I was going to have to use to.
"Maybe I don't know, there a lot to give up here. I don't know if I want to give up my life here even though it's not all together now, my human friends, or my twelve year of hard work in school. But freedom from my father seems rather pleasant than staying here."
"It's up to you, but I know what I hope you choose." He said as he laid his head back down on my chest. I just looked at him and considered it. There was a lot of things I would have to get used to there I didn't really know If I was up for it.
"Renji stay with me here at least until I graduate, it only one year." He looked at me with a puzzled look.
"As much as I would love to, I can't and you know that. I have duties back home to do. I can't just up and leave for a year and come back like nothing's happened. I'm sorry Ichigo." I knew that is wasn't possible but part of me wanted to ask and suggest that anyway.
"No I understand, I can give up life and have no repercussions. It just doesn't seem fair. How long are staying here anyway? Your mission I mean." I asked
"I was supposed to be for three months, but it got extended to six. So I can stay for that long with you if that is what you want. I know that isn't fair that I have to go back, but that why I offered to take you with me when the time comes." He said as I looked at him. This was all so sudden to be talking about living together, but really I didn't have a choice. I know Renji though we have been friends since I saved Rukia. I guess it not an issue anymore.
"We'll decide in six months how's that? Now I have to decide what to do about my current situation. My father has the house, and I dare not show my face there. So that leaves me in a bind now. Where am I going to stay?
"That's easy we both can get jobs. I'm sure we can find a temporary apartment for the time being, noting extravagant or fancy. You know something just for us, something you and I can call home for now. And in six months we can decide on what you want to do."
"That sounds like a plan." I smiled as I looked at him. I wanted to at the point kiss him, but part of me said that I shouldn't. So I did anyway fighting the flutter feeling in my stomach. He just smiled as he returned it. It was passionate as I leaned into it and for the first time enjoyed instead of just delivering a show. It felt so good to find someone I wanted to be with, even though the circumstances were awkward.
I simply hugged him tighter as I broke away; I never wanted this moment to end or wanted him to leave my side. My hero was here with me, the one that saved me from my nightmare, the one I was seriously thinking of spending the rest of my life with.
For the first time in years I actually smiled a smile, not one that forced or fake, an actual genuine smile. The last time I did that was with my mother on the day she died, the day I regret to this day. Renji just looked up at it he laughed and smiled back.
"You know that had to be the first time I seen you smile, it's cute and it goes with those gorgeous brown eyes perfectly." He said as I just snuggled closer.
"Don't go and be expecting it now." I said as he laughed
"Of course not, Ichigo smiling is unheard of. You must have broken the rules when you let that come one out." he said as I punched him in the arm.
"Oh really, what rules would that be. It defiantly not in my book to smile"
"Ok so what do I have to do to get it? He asked as I looked at him with a look that said you'll never get me to. "Oh I know we can spar for it, whoever win has to do what the other wants, nothing naughty though and no sex. Agreed!
"You're on! Besides I owe you one anyway for hitting me earlier but that will have to wait for a while." I said as I smiled at him. Things were finally looking up and I was looking for the first sparing session with Renji. It's been too long, I'm sure Zangetsu agrees with me.
"Oh yeah, Just you wait!" He said as he got that glint back in his eyes. I knew right then and there things were starting to go back to normal, and couldn't wait. "You have to wait though at least until you start feeling better. I can help with that too." He said as he started to rub my back. "Relax you'll feel better in no time." He said as he smirked.
"Renji no, I not ready for that. Not yet!" I said as I tried to push his hands off me.
"I already told you I don't want in your pants. Just relax damn it." he said as I listened to him, he was right I was starting to feel a hell of allot better.

A/N: 8/21/12
I am in need of a beta for this story if you are interested then please leave it as a review. All I ask is that you are opened minded and not a hater of the M/M Genre. I will try to get back to you in the forms if that is possible. Any and all help will be appreciate, Thank you.
There you have the end of my story. I have to say it was hard to write an ending to this. To many ways I wanted to end this, and choosing one was difficult. I did though, and I think it's good. I was thinking about a sequel to this but I don't know what do you guys think?
I wanted to say this was fun being my first fan fiction and all, and I think it didn't turn out that bad it could have been allot worse. I also wanted to give a final thanks to all my fans and readers for keeping me going on this. I appreciate all your time and comments, especially to all the ones that did comment. And I wanted to thank the ones that followed as well. Okay so one last thank you to everyone and I will leave you with Tortured Soul :)LDX.
Check out my other stories if you're interested, Condemned and The Black Book. Condemned it a Final Fantasy VII Fan Fiction and The Black Book is an original. Thank again LDX :)
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Tortured Soul