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Salvation	By : Mirrors1984 Category: Bleach > Het - Male/Female Views: 13169 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Tite Kubo's Bleach or make any profit from this fic.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
Warning: Ichigo is a horny angsty asshole in this chapter.
Chapter 8
After Tatsuki's request, they left the club in silence. Everyone had tried to stall them by asking many questions like 'Are you okay to walk?' and 'Don't you want us to come along?' but she just shook her head and smiled weakly.
Ichigo could tell that all she wanted to do was get him out of there in particular. She had looked so pale and sickly that he hadn't uttered a word afraid that she wouldn't feel like talking about it or would just snap at him for following her there in the first place.
He knew he shouldn't have done that. It had been a masochistic urge that had pushed him to go inside to see his friends speaking of him. Some pieces of the conversation had reached him and had jabbed at him until he couldn't take it anymore... That was when he abruptly walked up to their table and acted unaffected by the pain he had been feeling at seeing all of them there.
How he had managed to stand there and laugh along with them was a miracle that spoke for itself. He, himself, was surprised at having been able to pull it off, yet now as he sat outside of the examination room waiting for his father to finish checking a light-headed Tatsuki, he hated having done it.
While he had stood among them he began to suffer the knotting in the pit of his stomach and the tightening of his throat that always kept him from screaming at them. He had wanted to yell at them so badly, yet his actions had showed otherwise. It had been an automatic response that had saved him many times in the past.
Laugh it off and say the exact opposite of what you really want to say. It was easy to stand there letting his instincts of self-preservation take control. It would have been perfect if Ogichi, the perceptive bastard, hadn't seen right through him. Their connection could be quite inconvenient at such times and he was certain that he knew just about everything he was feeling about both him and Orihime.
The only reason why Ogichi hadn't pressed further was because he didn't want to hurt his pregnant wife's feelings. There was no other explanation. Ichigo had seen it in his sharp yellow-gold eyes that he would have wanted to torture him some more, but held back when she quickly grabbed his hand to calm him down.
Another thing he regretted having to see. The silent understanding between them always left a bittersweet taste in the back of his mouth. They had been like that in the last months of high school as well.
Ogichi would be about to explode and with a single word or light touch from Orihime he would immediately stop as if he had an off-switch. It was surprising that she had so much power over him by merely using gentleness. In the past she had feared him until she became as obssessed with him as he was with her.
Rukia hadn't said anything to him which didn't strike him as odd. They had barely spoken after the day she had returned to their lives to make amends. All she had done upon seeing him pretending while being eaten up inside was stare at him measuringly as if trying to figure out what was truly happening in his soul.
She was too smart to fool, but Tatsuki was way ahead of her.
Why is she getting sick?, her sudden illness when he had been about to crack under pressure had suprised him. He had known her long enough to say that she never got sick, yet seeing her so wan and about to faint with her voice coming out in a cracking whisper, he realized that something was definetely wrong with her.
Even when he caught the flu at age seven, she hadn't caught it. In fact, she was the only kid that dared to visit him at the house and played alongside him like it was no problem.
He smiled remembering those carefree days. The days that she would boss him around and would laugh at his stuttering and worries over her crazy stunts. She had been the most daring of the two of them and hadn't kept up that barrier of boy/girl between them that other kids usually did. While girls her age were crying 'boy cooties', she just didn't care and had stayed his friend like it was natural to her. She was always the one to snatch his soda to take a sip to later ruffle his hair to embarrass him when other girls eyed her strangely as if she'd lost her mind for 'touching Yucky-Kurosaki'.
Nothing had been separating them back then, not like now and the only one to blame for that was him. He could see that she was desperately trying to rebuild that innocent connection they once shared... Unfortunately she was wasting her time. He was just too unhealthy for her, or was it the other way around? What he had been thinking of doing to her recently was nothing compared to the pure thoughts of friends. How could he be friends with her if he...?
Grinding his teeth, he glared at the white wall of the narrow short hallway he was sitting in.
"He's been sick since yesterday, Tatsuki-chan. You might catch it if you get too close," his mother's soft voice came faintly from outside of his closed bedroom door.
"It's okay, Mrs. Kurosaki! I just came to drop some of his homework off!"
'Tatsuki?' Opening one of his heavy lidded eyes he stared weakly at the closed door, anticipating her entering loudly. For the last couple of hours his parents had forced him to stay in bed, eat bland soup and drink just plain lukewarm water saying something about keeping him 'hydrated'. His child's mind didn't understand any of that since the tasteless food and isolation from both TV and the rest of the house was slowly driving him crazy. No one feeling as crummy as him would be happy about that and if he didn't know any better, he'd say it was making him sicker.
Tatsuki's arrival might keep him from going insane, even though he was too sick to be much company.
"Alright, Tatsuki-chan...!" his mother's affectionate laughter-laced voice said as the door slowly creaked open, letting in a sliver of light from the hallway flow in.
A bit hesitant, Tatsuki whispered, "He's not asleep is he? Because if he is, I'll just leave his stuff-!"
Closing his eyes, he rasped lowly, his throat dry and scratchy,"Tatsuki...?" Hopefully the mask meant to keep him from contaminating the air wouldn't muffle his voice too much.
If she thought he was asleep then she wouldn't visit him and he didn't want that alone and bored out of his mind again.
"I suppose he's awake!" chuckling, his mother opened the door further to let his friend inside.
"Oh, okay," Tatsuki's voice was more confident and he tried to smile when he heard her feet padding into his room.
"Just remember that he's highly contagious right now, but your visit will probably do him some good."
"I'll keep that in mind, Mrs. Kurosaki," he could almost hear her smile in those words.
"Alright then," hearing his mother's footsteps moving across the floor towards the door, she added before leaving, "You two be good now!" Saying those words, her feet echoed further down the hallway outside of his room.
If he had felt better he would have laughed. How could they get into trouble if he could barely move from his bed?
"Ichigo...?" Tatsuki's voice was soft and coming closer. Once he sensed her next to his bed, she said bluntly, "You look horrible!"
A cough left him when he tried to laugh, though it was embarassing to have her point that out. No one liked to have someone seeing them so sick.
It was normal for her to say things like that after all.
"I brought your homework over and...," he heard a little chuckle as she lowered her voice,"some snacks."
At that he opened both of his eyes widely to look at her mischiveously smiling face.
"I...," he cleared his throat with a cough behind the cloth covering half his face,"I can't..." In spite of saying that he really wanted whatever she had snuck in for him.
"Psch! Quit acting like a wuss and scoot over!" one of her hands lifted the edge of the blanket on his bed and he could feel his once bloodless cheeks heat up at what she was doing.
Tatsuki wanted to get in the bed with him.
"Tatsuki...!" Too late to argue because not only was he weak, but he didn't want her to see the childish pijamas his mother had made him wear. The two-piece set had a dark blue background with many orange dinosaurs printed on it. If she saw that she would laugh at him.
The blanket lifted briefly letting in some cool air and he was grateful that she didn't say anything about his clothing when her slender form settled next to him. His bloodshot aching eyes were wary on her as she laid beside him without touching, her head of short choppy black hair laying on his pillow.
"Nice pjs," she smirked not looking at him as she shifted her hips up to search through her pockets while under the blankets.
If his face got any redder he would combust! She had SEEN them!
Not cool.
"Here!" finally finding what she was searching for, a candy bar was nearly shoved in his face making him completely forget about the shame of his funny clothes at the sight of it.
There had been many times such as those. She spent most of the day with him, cheering him up and helping him with what he had missed at school the previous day. It was in that day in his childlike mind that he realized that he had a truly loyal friend in her. He had other buddies in school but none of them had visited him like she had. Those 'friends' had been too afraid of catching his flu while she, being careless as she was, had enough guts to even lay in the same bed beside him.
As the years had passed, she no longer did that. That was when puberty changed things for them. If she visited him, the visits would be mainly done in the living room and if he had been sick, she would call over the phone to tell him the stuff he needed for school.
Its not like he resented her for it since in a way he too had stopped being as open as when being a child. Some things were just too personal to even tell her and yet now as he waited for his father to figure out what was wrong with her, he felt that he needed to start telling her those things. Even if it was only to have someone to listen.
He jumped startled when the door behind beside him opened suddenly.
"She's okay!" his father walked out and look down at him smiling so brightly that it hurt his eyes. He might as well have been doing something fun rather than checking a nearly passed out girl.
"What do you mean 'she's okay'?" he narrowed his eyes before standing from the metal seat in the hallway.
"That's she's okay!" shrugging his father explained,"What she probably had was a drop in blood-pressure, which is rather normal though not for someone as physically fit as her." Shooting a glance into the room discreetly, he added,"She's lying down now. I gave her some pain-killers since she was complaining about her head hurting."
Ichigo still didn't like that as he scowled at his dad, letting his eyes scan briefly the small examination room his friend was in.
"I tried to convince her to let me take some blood to have some tests runned, but she argued about it and even told me to take blood from myself! Hah! She's quite moody when she's not feeling well!" laughing and shaking his head, Isshin walked past him, leaving the door wide open.
With his father gone, he was left staring at the inviting open doorway, feeling unsure if he should go in or not.
She's my friend and is sick! If I don't go in, she'll probably think I'm still being an asshole!
Sucking in a deep breath, his face already blanching at the thought of being alone with her, he stepped into the small room full of glass cabinets, yet another metal chair and a small narrow stretcher in which she was stretched out on.
He could hear his heartbeat in his ears as he entered further into the room. She looked so helpless, not precisely lust-inspiring; a small blessing... That still didn't mean that it was safe for her. He hated feeling like a deprived pervert, especially when she was so defenseless.
Walking awkwardly towards the metal chair next to the stretcher that his father had surely occupied while examining her, he sat down on it stiffly, feeling as if his whole body was sore. Being around her had him feeling like a cowardly virgin, or like a very beaten cowardly virgin. It was probably because he couldn't stop doing a discomforting mix of both blushing and paling. Everytime blood rushed to his cheeks stingingly, they would go cold again.
She wasn't looking at him. Her eyes were closed while one of her pale hands held a cooling pad over her forehead. The other hand was laying limply on her flat belly and he shifted in his seat at seeing how her flat position on the bed had her clothes drape her torso in such a manner that her curves were more defined.
One of his fingers twitched at how her small firm breasts rose and fell evenly.
"I'm surprised that you are paying me a visit, Kurosaki," a faint smile curved her lips.
Snorting, thankful that she hadn't looked at him and seen how he was grimacing and blushing in nervousness, he said dryly,"I'm not that much of an unconsiderate jackass, Tatsuki."
"Nice to know," a laugh left her lips, making her chest jerk lightly bringing his attention unwillingly to her breasts again and how her unrevealing black t-shirt contoured it.
I need to leave NOW.
Gulping, he forced his hungry gaze to the glass cabinets lining one of the walls.
"Do you need to go to the bathroom, Ichigo?" amusement colored her tone and he flinched realizing that she was finally looking at him and had seen his anxiety.
Clenching his teeth hard, his eyes were still glued to the glass cabinets as if his life depended on it. In some way it did.
"No, why do you ask that?"
"Because you're so twitchy and look like you're in pain, that's why!" laughter erupted out of her and he snapped his eyes to her to see how her eyes lit up as her body shook.
It's funny for her, but for me..., he could feel his cock begining to harden and in order to stop the rush of blood from engorging the blasted excited thing, he rubbed his legs together.
Though her eyes were on his face, her laughter and smile faded.
"I really hate it when you look at me like that."
His eyes widened as dread sunk deeply into his belly, thankfully stopping his growing erection before it had became too noticeable.
"What are you talking about?"
"It just feels weird...," narrowing her eyes, her voice faded as if she didn't want to elaborate.
"It feels weird-?"
"Tatsuki-chan?!" Karin's voice called from the doorway breathlessly, making both of them look in that direction in unison. His sister's eyes fell on him and her young face hardened,"Oh, he's here with you."
She's still pissed at me for what happened yesterday at Tatsuki's house.
"Hey there, Karin-chan!" sitting up slowly on the stretcher, Tatsuki gave her a carefree grin, obviously ignoring what she had said regarding him. It was just a sign that she had pushed it behind her as he hoped she would. He didn't relish the idea of her thinking he was out of control which was the actual truth.
Even with his little sister in the room with them he wanted her.
Walking into the room, his sister's eyes glared at him until she stopped right at the foot of the stretcher.
Once she looked at Tatsuki again, she grinned, completely disregarding his presence as if he were just a bug that had irritated her,"Can you spend the night?!"
"What?!" he jumped off his seat and both of the girls looked at him as if he had just lost it.
Is she out of her mind?! I can't wait to get away from Tatsuki and she wants her to stay over for the night?!
"She's going to be staying in my and Yuzu's room so you can't jump her like a perverted dog. She's not going to stay for you," Karin glowered at him, muttering angrily.
"Actually I don't think that's a good idea..." Tatsuki began slowly while he eagerly nodded in agreement.
"Exactly! She can't stay!" he blurted out, feeling his cheeks sting when his sister's eyes shot him a fulminating glare.
"Who was asking you, Ichigo?" looking away from him, she smiled hopefully at Tatsuki who was still uncertain,"Besides! It's already dark out and dad was the one that suggested it, so he's okay with it."
"I still...," shaking her head, Tatsuki slowly moved her legs so that her feet nearly touched the floor.
"Don't worry, Ichigo won't go anywhere near you," she promised, giving him yet another killer look from the corner of her eyes. "It'll be just us girls." Those last words were said with a dark edge obviously directed at him.
He glared at his younger sibbling and opened his mouth to tell her to back off in the agression when his father exclaimed from the doorway she had once occupied.
"So did she accept?!" They all looked towards Isshin that beamed back at them while Yuzu stood behind him, looking just as hopeful as Karin.
"I've been trying to convince her, but Ichigo here is afraid of jumping her again."
Furious over how she was able to read him so easily and had to just bring something like that up, making Tatsuki's own face turn a beet red in the process, he snapped at her.
"Listen, Karin, you really need to cut this shit out! I've had enough of it!"
"Ichigo...," Tatsuki whispered but he continued staring his sister down that looked back at him wide-eyed at how angry he had become.
"Whatever I do with Tatsuki is none of your business!" her jaw dropped and everyone in the room remained silent as the tension escalated. "So quit pissing me off about it! It's adult stuff that little brats like you have no business getting into!"
"Now, Ichigo, that's no way to talk to your little sister and Karin just drop it, okay?" for once his father didn't sound jovial and teasing which suited the particularly tense situation taking place in their house. In the past Ichigo had argued with his sisters, but never enough to the point to sound as insulting as he was now.
I don't feel safe even in my house. That was what bothered him so much. Tatsuki wasn't safe around him just as he wasn't safe around her. Just standing in the same room with her was taxing and his family had no idea what was happening to him. To them he was just acting like a bad-tempered asshole.
His face hardened at Karin's expression. Though shock was the strongest emotion in her face, hurt was also there, taunting him.
I really need to get out.
With his whole body stiffening, he glanced over at his father who looked just as surprised as everyone else in the room. Straightening his back, he shoved his hands down his pockets and headed towards the door just as his father stepped aside to give him room.
"Thanks a lot," he whispered flatly to Isshin on his way out the door. Not once did he bother looking back to see his father's reaction while leaving them.
***
Tatsuki had only stayed for Karin's sake. After the incident in the examination room had taken place, the younger girl had become sullen and withdrawn. Ichigo's attitude had mellowed her down enough that she didn't even look as excited as before. Even Yuzu was more subdued though she was at least making an effort in making her staying for the night entertaining by suggesting watching some DVDs on a portable player she had gotten for her birthday.
When she had gone inside the Kurosaki residence that was attached to the clinic, she had barely left the twin's room. It was a lame attempt to prevent Ichigo from getting angrier than he already was. No one had to tell her that somehow she had upset him by accepting his father's offer.
It wasn't the first time she'd stayed the night with the twins. In middle school she had done it when their father was swamped with patients. It had been similar to hanging out while babysitting, though the twins were pretty independant, mostly after their mother had passed on. Out of the twins, Karin was the most attached to her. She supposed that it was because she viewed her as an older sister that happened to like the same things she did. Not many girls were into sports as they were and her own twin sister was very feminine and into regular 'girl things', like wearing dresses, sowing and cooking. Yuzu was pratically a miniature housewife while Karin was the boyish one.
Yeah, they had a strange sort of kinship because of that.
In the past Ichigo had never complained about her staying the night with his sisters. A lot of the times she had done it he had watched movies along with them until the early morning hours before sleepily dragging his feet back to his room.
Now those days were over. His anger in the examination room had put a cutting finality to what they used to have.
"He's not mad at you, Karin-chan," she whispered to the girl beside her. Yuzu had already fallen asleep since they had put a horror movie on. The girl hadn't wanted to watch it so she had spent most of the time cowering under her sheets until she eventually dozed off.
Karin scoffed, her dark eyes looking at the small screen flatly. The room was mostly dark save the light coming from the small screen and the house was eerily silent. Tatsuki wouldn't be surprised if they were the only ones still awake.
"Believe me... When Ichigo gets that pissed it can last for days," she whispered back, letting out a sighing breath.
"Yeah, but he's not mad at you," feeling awkward when Karin looked at her obviously expecting her to talk further, she added,"he's mad at me."
Though there was barely any light in the room, Karin's frown was seen by her.
"Why would he be mad at you of all people? He's the one up to no good! I saw him, Tatsuki-chan!" all blood drained from her face. Karin clearly knew more than the rest of the family. "Dad and Yuzu might have not noticed it, but Ichigo had jumped you and was pinning you down!"
Feeling a bit flustered at what the younger girl was assuming of her older brother, Tatsuki shook her head, widening her eyes,"No, Karin-chan! We were just fighting and he got on top of me!" her whisper came out more like a loud hiss.
"That's not what it looked like to me," those being her last words, Karin gave her a measuring glance before getting off the bed they had been all sitting on to watch the movie to walk over to her own bed on the other side of the room.
Karin perhaps thought that Tatsuki didn't trust her enough to say the truth. Ichigo <i>had</i> jumped her, but... it hadn't been as physically threatening as the other girl thought. Or was it that Tatsuki was carefully avoiding thinking that of her friend?
He had been warning her, just as his temper shown hours earlier.
That knowledge alone was enough to make her want to stay holed up in the twin's room until morning, not just out of fear of him, but out of fear of herself. She had no idea how she would react if he were to do something like that with no interruptions in sight.
She didn't trust herself. She knew that she couldn't. That truth had become clear when she began to feel attracted to him. The only thing keeping her from reciprocating was that he wasn't completely all there with her. He was only acting out of his own distress, meaning that it wasn't her that he truly wanted.
And how it hurt to know that he didnc't give a damn about tossing their friendship away just because he wanted to console himself. It was selfish and cold, the opposite of how he used to be. The only thing that kept her from hating him was his agitation moments earlier that proved that he at least cared enough to push her away, to save her from himself.
***
Ever since the house had become silent, Ichigo had been thinking up ways on getting out without being detected. He knew that it wasn't impossible since he had done it many times in the past and being able to change into a shinigami did come in handy except for one little detail...
Tatsuki could see spirits. He might go undetected by others in the house but when it came to her, it was highly doubtful that she wouldn't find out. She was staying in a room down the hall, a measly couple of feet from his own door. It was irritating having her so close even if they had walls separating them.
The sensation of his own sheets against his flushed skin was torturing him and had been doing so for hours. In spite of wearing boxers and having the air on, he felt feverish and his breathing was coming out in harsh short pants.
Studying generalized medicine had taught him how to detect the signs of physical distress. His symptoms were just hard cold proof that there was something wrong with him. Like the way a junky would act when having no access to drugs. Trembling, having difficult time breathing, sweating coldly... Yeah, he was clearly affected by forcing himself to stay away.
He doubted that he could leave the house even if he wanted to. It made him wonder if Tatsuki was as affected by him as he was of her.
Shuddering, he writhed his hips and winced, cursing in the darkness at how his painful erection strained in his boxers at the slight movement of his hips. He might as well have been in fucking heat which was illogical. This only happened when he was undergoing an unsual amount of stress and needed to get out. At least... that was what had been happening physically to him ever since he had begun to use sex as a self-medication. Like always, his brain would tell his body what it supposedly needed and he would harden in response. It was automatic and unwarranted. Sometimes it happened without even thinking of sex.
He hated himself more and more in those moments. The cool sheets rubbing mockingly over his skin and his twitching cock were just dirty painful reminders of Tatsuki's words the day before.
"Do you honestly want to keep living this way, Ichigo?"
No, he fucking didn't!
Gritting his teeth, he jerked the sheets away in order to punish his body with the frigid cold of his room. He had the air-conditioner on full-blast just to keep him cold enough to stay in bed like he should be.
His skin was hit by the intense chill, but his erection didn't wither like he had hoped. It remained stubbornly hard and upright. The cursed thing was so long that he could see it peeking through the slit of his boxers.
He was so disgusted by it that he didn't even want to touch it. Even as a pre-pubescent brat he hadn't had such problems. Sure, he did have an awkward stage in which his cock would become rigid over nothing and then there had been the times that he had awakened jerking off or coated in his own semen.
It was embarassing, but those were normal things young boys entering puberty went through, not a guy nearing twenty.
I don't think I can make it through a night of this shit!
Hissing with a pained grimace, he forced one of his hands to push his boxers down enough to show the part of him that refused to obey.
Once out, the long organ bobbed sharply.
He studied it through cold amber eyes. For years he had seen the thing, but now he actually stared at it, taking in it's length and width and also the short light brownish hair at its base. In his eyes, it was just a part of his body that he'd always had so he had never been truly interested by it.
As he looked at it, he made a face at how engorged it was. The first time a girl other that Rukia had seen it, he had been so ashamed thinking about how unimpressive it was, only to be proved with sexual partner after sexual partner that he was considered to be quite large. One girl had even said it was 'abnormal', which had somehow turned him off since no guy liked having their dick called something like that.
At present it wasn't something to be particularly proud of. In fact he despised how needy the thing was.
Tatsuki is just next door... At that thought the thing gave a hard twitch that had him flinching.
"I can't use her like this."
Pulling his boxers back up, he then sat up with some effort to rub his face vigurously with both hands.
Damn, he wanted her so much that he doubted that he could stay away for the rest of the night.
***
A/N: Sorry for huge cliffy (when I write sexual content I usually take a WHOLE chapter)! I was listening Placebo especially the song 'Broken Promise'. Many of their songs are seductive in sound and bring out strong emotions. I wrote in that tidbit in case a certain chat-buddy of mine that thinks that I'm a hardcore 'suicidal' goth because of certain things I describe in my stories reads this. I'm just a 'Me' even though most people immediately tag me as 'gothic' by just looking at me. *scowls* That's really quite annoying. I can't help it if I listen to a song and suddenly get ideas! *pouty face* Hope people liked chap! I liked the begining of it (poor Ichi's yearning for Tatsuki but holding himself back. So... DELICIOUSLY torturous! *shudders* At madbob LOL. I guess she is though it wasn't intended at first. Hehehehehe... We'll know in next chapter! =) At BattleCry Woohoo! Something mighty interesting is coming up soooooooooon!
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Salvation