A Shadow of What Was | By : katami Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 49594 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Author's Notes: Thanks for the advice on the knee, Ryn. I'm doing great now; I can walk again! And we do not suggest violence against the muse - she has a whip. Besides, I've been told by her and the Bleach people that they are the one's in charge, I am just lucky to work here.
Irana, hon, you read the subtext way too well. *grin* I'm really glad you liked the boys since I know they are close to your heart.
Welcome to the madness, Wyn. Glad you are enjoying so far and I'm terribly sorry you were glued to the PC for two days - Shadow must be read in moderation. And I have a certain fondness for the fox and the kitty as well.
To all those reading this story, I thank you for sticking with me and for all your support. I hope you enjoy this latest offering. Cheers.
* * *
Ishida Uryuu met them at the door on the second knock, a sudsy scrub brush in his hand and a slight fraying around the edge to the frown on his face. The Quincy looked tired and annoyed, the strain of the last few days beginning to show on his normally impassive face. "He's in the bedroom," sighed the archer, turning and heading back into his apartment.
Karin followed him, all but certain that she did not want to know why he was scrubbing his couch and muttering darkly about her brother and Renji. There were times she really wished her brother could have gotten himself some normal friends, maybe a nine to five job, a lover who wasn't more trouble than their father and a group of kindergarteners combined.
"He's still pretty out of it," Ishida told her as he returned to his scrubbing. "And good luck getting a reasonable response out of him."
"He'll wake up for us," murmured Karin, a slight growl to her voice as she glanced back at her twin. Yuzu looked as sweet and adorable as ever - she had come though. Her sister might not have been as commanding a presence as the rest of their family, but she was a Kurosaki and when pushed she was a force to be reckoned with.
Their brother had just pushed.
And they were going to push back. Ichigo might have been one of the strongest men in Soul Society, but he had nothing on the two of them when it came to sheer stubbornness.
The smirk that crossed Ishida's lips was nothing short of wicked. "Breakfast in an hour?" asked Quincy blandly, as Karin reached the door to his bedroom. She shared a glance with her sister, silently asking her how stupid she thought their big brother was going to be.
"Thank you, Ishida-san. Breakfast would be very nice."
"If he ruined my sheets I'm killing him," called Ishida, making Karin chuckle and Yuzu blush. She was beginning to see the appeal of Ishida Uryuu, under all the Quincy pride was a truly cutting sense of humor.
She and Yuzu marched into Ishida's bedroom, where Renji and Uryuu had stashed Ichigo. Karin flicked on the lights and stared at her brother. He looked to be resting comfortably if one could overlook the slow and steady despair pulsing in his reiatsu. She had only felt that from Ichigo once before - when Urahara died. Their mother's death had wounded him and Urahara's had all but destroyed him. For a moment she wondered how much more he could take, and on the heels of that thought came another -
Whether she could have endured as much? Losing Toushirou? Watching as friend after friend found a mate and settled down, knowing that her match was gone, that she would never have the easy comfort all her friends were finding.
She tried to imagine the centuries stretching out before her, not alone but cut off from the person she most wanted. Surrounded by a sea of well meaning friends and family, people she cared about, but not the one person she truly needed. She pushed the unpleasant contemplation away; Ichigo had to be strong, he had to endure this, for his own sake and for Urahara's.
No one as smart as the former Shinigami was going to go to all the trouble of coming back without some way of insuring he got what he wanted. And everyone seemed to agree that the one thing Urahara would want was her brother. That meant Ichigo had to endure.
Yuzu tugged the blankets off their older brother. It took a moment for him to come around enough to realize that he was cold and a moment longer before he connected them to the discomfort. It was easy to tell the exact instant reason returned to ocher eyes because with it came a crushing wall of pain and guilt, a black miasma so all consuming that Karin gasped and Yuzu stumbled, tears welling in her eyes. Karin reached out for her sister, steadying her and taking a second to give her a quick bracing hug, before rounding in her brother with a sharp slap.
The wave of emotion charged reiatsu subsided as Ichigo blinked disbelievingly at her.
"Karin!" scolded Yuzu, staring at her with shock.
"That's better," she murmured, reminding herself that while slapping him might not have been the most sisterly of actions it was for her brother's own good. Ichigo didn't tend to respond to talking much, he responded to action - and he usually needed something physical to jar him out of whatever headspace he had fallen into. Slapping him had hopefully helped that process along. "Yuzu and I talked about it and you don't have the luxury of waiting for Renji and Uryuu to beat some sense into that thick skull of yours."
"First Jeagerjaques and now girls. When this is over I am so kicking your pansy ass," muttered Ichigo, brown eyes shifting to gold before resettling. Karin shared a look with her twin, Shirosaki being so near the surface was not a good thing. It meant one of two things was happening; either her brother's will was faltering letting the Hollow assume control, or Shirosaki was stepping in to protect her brother. Neither option was really desirable because both of them meant Ichigo's dominance could be in danger.
"Asshole," came a weak retort from Ichigo, his eyes slipping closed and his shoulders slumping in defeat. He looked beaten, worn down by battle and hardship, so very tired. For just a moment Karin wanted to let him set down his burdens, let him wallow in his grief and mourn as he had never been allowed to do.
"Just leave me alone," breathed Ichigo softly, the words too flat to be a plea although there was clearly a hint of entreaty in them.
Yuzu wrapped her arms around him, hugging him and drawing a tiny shudder from their brother's lanky form. "I know it hurts, Ichi-nii," she whispered, the words soft and gentle, her voice full of love and hope, a promise that the pain would abate. There was more than just emotion in her voice though, there was something real and substantial. Karin had never heard of a voice laced with reiatsu before, never heard of anyone infusing their words with power. In fact, she wouldn't have thought it possible if she hadn't heard and felt it for herself. But reiatsu, subtle and almost gossamer like, pulsed in her twin's voice and ghosted around their brother, wrapping him in warmth and love, touching the cold places and filling them. It was a healing; but nothing like Karin had ever heard of before, something she didn‘t think even Unohana could have done.
"Yuzu?" she whispered questioningly, earning a benevolent smile from her twin, one that promised that she knew exactly what she was doing. Ichigo shuddered in her embrace and then his arms slid around her, his face being buried in her shoulder as great sobs began to wrack his body.
"That's it, Ichigo. Let it out. You don’t always have to be strong. And you don’t always have to bear it alone. We’re hear for you, Ichigo. We love you and want to help you." Karin watched in silent amazement as her older brother cried, releasing all the pain he had keep locked away for so long. And through it all her twin held him, whispering soft words of love and comfort, promising that it would end.
"Is he up?" demanded Ishida, poking his head in the door.
"Nearly so," murmured Karin, glancing at the sobbing wreck that was he brother - oddly, sobbing was a step in the right direction where Ichigo was concerned. It meant he was at least responding again.
"Well, I've got something that will get him up," murmured the Quincy, his eyes sparkling with that arrogant superiority that always made Toushiro want to hit him. Looking at him now, Karin decided her love had a point.
Ishida strolled into the room with the grace and assurance of a feline, a cuttingly bland smile on his lips and a phone in his hand. "I've got someone who wants to talk to you," he all but purred, holding the phone out to her brother.
"Ichigo?" Urahara's voice drifted through the line, soft and hesitant, and laced with so much longing and emotion that Karin wasn't sure who she felt more sorry for.
"Kisuke," breathed her brother, a small sound that might have been a whimper pulled from his throat. There was such desperate longing on his face that Yuzu gave him another hug. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. Are you alright?" began Ichigo in a rush. Karin could almost hear the tender smile the blonde had to be giving her brother as he tried to talk over Ichigo's frantic apologies.
"No, no, it was my fault. I shouldn't have... I'm sorry."
Uryuu rolled his eyes as the two of them each tried to shoulder the blame for what had happened and hurried to assure the other that he was blameless. Karin noticed there was a tiny smile on the Quincy's lips despite the eye roll. "You both are idiots, let's leave it at that," announced the archer, cutting across all the apologies and making Yuzu giggle. Ichigo glared at the other man before a gentle chortle returned his focus to the phone.
"Are you alright? Where are you?"
"I'm fine. I'm staying with some friends."
"Kisuke," began the redhead, only to be interrupted by an amused and entirely reasonable tone.
"Even you couldn't object to them, Ichigo, and I really don't want to fight about it. I'm safe. Leave it at that." Karin watched as her brother hemmed and hawed, his need to protect warring with his desire to make his lover happy.
"We should talk," Ichigo finally breathed out softly.
The laughter that drifted over the line was gentle and genuine. "Great minds. Maybe over dinner?" The suggestion was so innocently voiced and so uncertain that Karin couldn't help but smile, especially since the tender look on her brother's face was so heartrendingly sweet she could have wept.
"I'd like that," murmured Ichigo, still looking slightly dazzled. "Tonight?"
"I'll pick up something on my way back to the shouten."
"I told you, you are not going back there until I clear it!" came a feminine shriek, cutting across the line.
"And I thought we had discussed the chance you had of keeping me from doing what I wanted, when I wanted," retorted Kisuke.
"Who is that?" whispered Yuzu.
"Unless I am mistaken, I would say Mizuno-kun has found himself in the hands of the Vaizard," Ishida whispered back.
"Now you listen to me, you bastard," snarled the voice.
"Kisuke? Kisuke, are you alright?" demanded Ichigo, his own voice rising to be heard over the commotion on the other end of the line.
"Fine. And you listen to me! I may not be Captain Urahara but I am not going to be pushed around anymore! This is my life and I am going to be the one making decisions about it! I am sick and tired of being shuffled around on everyone else's whim. I am returning to the shouten and the Shinigami," the words were spoken in a crisp, calm voice, raised to be heard, but otherwise normal.
"What the hell?!? You were supposed to watch him not get him to formulate an insurrection!" screamed an outraged male voice. A sharp yelp could be heard clearly and Karin and Yuzu both blinked questioningly at Ishida who merely shrugged.
"I have to go. I'll meet you at the shouten at six."
"Kisuke," began Ichigo, only to find himself speaking to a dial-tone and blinking bewilderedly at the phone.
"So, are we ready for breakfast?" asked Ishida.
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