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Wedding Night Mishap	By : picabone99 Category: Bleach > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 4778 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I in no way, shape, or form own Bleach or any characters original to it; nor do I make any money from it.

Chapter List
- 1-Wedding Night Mishap
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-5a
- 7-6
- 8-7
- 9-7a
- 10-8
- 11-9
- 12-10
- 13-11
- 14-12
- 15-13
- 16-13a
- 17-14
- 18-15
- 19-16
- 20-17
- 21-17a
- 22-epilogue
- 23-1st bonus
- 24-promised bonus
- 7
- 8
- 9
Ichigo found that he had to be carried to the bathroom, much to his embarrassment. When Ichigo first left the bed, he managed to stand, but the moment he moved his foot foward to follow after Byakuya, the pain he felt in his lower half overwhelmed him. He would have crashed to the floor if not for Starrk, who displayed impressive speed when he lunged across the bed and caught him. Ichigo blushed and stuttered protests at the tall brunette, but Starrk refused to set him down until the three men reached the bathroom. Once there, Starrk gently placed Ichigo on a stool, before stepping out of the way and letting Byakuya scrub the orangette down. When Byakuya was finished scrubbing, he rinsed the younger man off and gestured for Starrk to lift him into the tub.
Once in the large tub, Ichigo relaxed in the heat that invaded his sore muscles, before soothing most of the pain away. As the pain faded and his mind was able to concentrate on something other than the dull, throbbing ache that prevented him from walking, Ichigo found his attention caught by Starrk and Byakuya as they scrubbed down. Crossing his arms on the edge of the tub before resting his head on them, Ichigo was mesmerized at the sight of the two men who, if he understood the mating stuff Starrk had spoken about, he would be spending the rest of forever with. Ichigo let out an unconscious sigh as he enjoyed the sight before him.
Starrk had already finished scrubbing and was standing up, pouring clean water over himself to rinse. Ichigo couldn't stop himself from enjoying the way the rivults of water clung to the tall, muscular form of the former Espada, leaving behind water droplets that Ichigo found himself wanting to lick off the handsome male. And as for Byakuya, he had taken a seated position on the stool and was washing his hair. Ichigo found his fingers twitching, wishing he was able to stand so he could assist the beautiful, lean male as he ran his fingers though the long, raven locks, spreading the shampoo around.
'Damn it, Shiro! I'm missing out on some major chances to touch some seriously fine bodies, do you think you could give me a hand with that regeneration shit you can do?'
'...'
'Shiro? You there? Heellloooo...'
Ichigo was distracted from trying to communicate any further with his inner hollow when Starrk came over to the tub.
"I would take much delight in joining you in the tub, mi vida; however, I feel it is mucho mas importante to get you to Unohana-Taicho as soon as posible. Having the opportunity to savor your body in such a setting will, unfortunately, have to wait." Starrk then reached down and took a firm hold of Ichigo, lifting him out of the water.
"Are you able to stand on your own, mi amor? Or do you need an arm lent to you?"
Ichigo gathered his legs under him and gingerly shifted his weight off of Starrk's arms and onto his legs, letting out a relieved sigh when the anticipated ache was nothing more than a dull throb.
"I'll be fine. Could you hand me a towel though? I don't think that I'm up to walking just yet."
"It would be a great pleasure to aid you even in so small a matter," Starrk said and lifted a towel from the counter behind him. Wrapping it around Ichigo, Starrk briskly toweled the other off, dropping the now used towel on the floor. "Wait, un momento. Let me dry myself and I will be able to aid you back to the bedroom."
"Not the bedroom," Byakuya spoke up from where he was busy rinsing the suds from his long hair. "Ichigo, if you could direct Starrk into the dressing room, I am positive that you will be able to find clean clothing to fit you. We are close enough in size, even if the clothing will be a touch on the large side. Starrk, I will attempt to find something fresh for you to wear as well. You will be more of a challenge, being that you are rather taller than myself. Before you leave the room, Starrk, I would greatly appreciate it if you could hang the damp, used towels up on the rack near the tub. The servants do have the day off after all and will not be attending to their duties until this evening. There is no call to leave wet towels on the floor, allowing a chance of having a mildew scent form in this room."
Ichigo thanked Byakuya for his generous offer of a change of clothing. The only articles of clothing he had at the mansion currently were the dirty clothes from the day before the wedding and the formal wear that he had had to be dressed in the day of the wedding.
Starrk looked down at his musclular 6'8" frame, and mentally agreed that finding something to fit him in the slender, 6' nobleman's wardrobe might be a bit of a challenge. Bending down, Starrk scooped up the used towels and made quick work out of hanging them in the location Byakuya indicated. Heading back over to Ichigo, Starrk made to lift him into his arms again but an up held hand halted the action before it could go beyond putting his arms in place.
"If I'm going to get rid of the aches and pains, the best thing for me to do is to be moving on my own as much as I'm able. I learned that years ago when I first started to train. The only way to loose the muscle ache is to work it out." With that said, Ichigo began a slow shuffling walk out of the bathroom, not minding in the least that Starrk was following immediately behind, ready to lend his assistance at a moments notice.
Byakuya made short work of rinsing the last of the soap out of his hair, before toweling off and following after the other two. He caught up to them just as Ichigo was leading Starrk into the dressing room, due to the slow pace Ichigo was using. Once in the room, Byakuya found Ichigo an attractive navy blue haori with clouds embroidered on it, matching hakama, and a red nagajuban to wear under it. As the 5'9" Visored was dressing, Byakuya began rummaging in the back corner furthest from the door. Letting out a triumphant noise, Byakuya turned back to Starrk holding out a plain green haori and white hakama. Thrusting the items at Starrk, Byakuya turned once again to his clothing, this time in search of something to cover himself with.
"It's a bit large, but thanks a lot for the loan, Byakuya," Ichigo said. Being the first one to recieve clothing meant that he was the first done, and Ichigo took advantage of that fact to sit down on the bench near door as he waited for the other two to finish. Ichigo was pleased that the bench was thickly padded as he tried to patiently wait on his mates, and wasn't that something he was going to have to get used to. Ichigo wished that they would just hurry up since he was starving.
"Mi amigo, this fits extremely well. How is this? Did you shrink in the many years since you first became a Soul Reaper?"
Ichigo let out a snort at the last question coming from Starrk's mouth, which he quickly turned into a cough and pasted an innocent look on his face as Byakuya turned in his direction. Byakuya had a ferocious scowl on his face, but the small glint Ichigo caught in his eyes made him think that Byakuya wasn't as displeased as he acted.
"It is a tradition in the Kuchiki clan to provide a set of clothing for a child to "grow into" if you will. In my case, since I was the heir, the articles of your apparel consist of clothing from a previous clan head. Clothing is saved from any one of note in the family, and when a child is born, suitable clothing for what is wished for from the child is placed in their closet. It has been so long since a child was born in the immediate family that I had almost forgotten the custom. You are indeed fortunate, both that I remembered and that the former head whose clothing you are now attired in was so much larger than I."
"Gracias. It is-"
Starrk found himself interrupted by a loud grumbling, growling noise. Looking around in search of the source of the noise, Starrk and Byakuya made eye contact with a brightly blushing Ichigo. Raising an eyebrow at him, Byakuya spoke up.
"Are you trying to inform us of something, Ichigo?"
Ichigo, still blushing furiously, scowled as he made eye contact with the nobleman, "Yeah, can we get going? I'm starving over here. You guys can finish talking about customs over some food, can't you?"
Byakuya nodded his head and slung on the last piece of clothing he needed: his Taicho robe. "I just need to attach my Kenseikan to my hair and grab Senbonzakura and we can find the food you seem to be in such need of, Ichigo. While I do this, why don't the two of you decide on where we should dine, since there is no one available to cook for us today, and I will meet you in the sitting room."
Ichigo and Starrk both agreed and Byakuya left to return to the bathroom. Ichigo led the way back to the sitting room, although Starrk should know where it was since they had started eating ice cream in it last night. Ichigo made sure to grab Zangetsu from where he had been placed after changing out of the cerimonial armor the day before.
As the two men walked, Ichigo couldn't help but indulge in some curiousity on his part.
"Hey, Starrk. Where's Los Lobos?"
"Hmmm? Oh, I left him at my place. Lilynette was muy insistant that a wedding is no place for weaponry, and it takes far too much energy to argue with her. Plus she always ends up winning anyway."
Ichigo snickered as they arrived in the front room. "Now then, how about something a little more important to me at this moment in time. What say, instead of trying to find a place to eat out, I make you two some food. I'm actually pretty good at making some simple stuff, like eggs. Any objections?"
While Ichigo was speaking, he was also looking around the room and, having noticed the spilled ice-cream containers, began to clean up what he could. Starrk, having noticed what Ichigo was attempting, thought that it might be a good idea as well and grabbed hold of the cooler for Ichigo to place the melted containers into. Fortunately, only one had spilled its contents onto the floor; the other ones having been set down and fallen upright, respectively.
"It sounds like a wonderful idea you have suggested, my Beta," Starrk said, setting down the cooler and wrapping Ichigo in his long arms. Nuzzling against the orange head before him, Starrk let out a contented rumble. Never in his long, empty life did he ever think that he would be so blessed as to find a place to call home, let alone such an amazing mate.
Ichigo found himself blushing furiously again, but couldn't stop himself from melting into the arms of the one holding him. It seemed to settle some need deep within him that until now he had no knowledge of and without realizing it, Ichigo began to purr. Ichigo suddenly jerked in Starrk's arms as the sounds he was making reached his ears.
"Shit! Was that me? How in hell did I make that noise?"
"Do not trouble yourself over it, mi vida. It is a most common response to hear coming from a contented Beta. It is just further proof that you are a properly mated, adult Beta," Starrk explained, never losening his hold on Ichigo. "Now, I think I hear Byakuya returning. Are you ready to leave?"
Starrk could feel Ichigo's head nodding in the affirmative under his chin. Turning them so Starrk could get a good view of the hallway, he was pleased that he had heard correctly when he saw Byakuya enter the room.
"Our little one has graciously offered to prepare breakfast for us. If you do not object, I would like to be so pampered by him."
Byakuya nodded his agreement and glanced around his sitting room, grimacing when he took in the sight of melted, slightly-rancid ice cream on his wood flooring. Letting his eyes slide up, Byakuya made note of the time.
"It would be more appropriate to say that koibito will be graciously preparing a late lunch for our enjoyment. It is early afternoon, according to the clock," Byakuya paused a moment to pull on his fingerless white tekkou, before continuing to speak. "I would be honored to eat a meal prepared by our mate. Please, walk with me and I will take us to the kitchen."
Starrk reluctantly released his embrace of the lithe Visored, only to grab one of his hands. As Starrk exited the room, pulling Ichigo after him, Byakuya spoke again.
"Just a word of warning. The kitchen may or may not be in use. Just because I gave all the house servants the day off, does not mean that the visiting family members' personal servants may not be making use of the room to prepare a meal of snacks for their respective employers. The room may be a crowded mess, or may be completely abanded."
Byakuya closed the door after himself and joined the other two in the hallway. Taking a firm hold of Ichigo's unclaimed hand, Byakuya led the way to the kitchen in a much more direct manner than he had the night before.
Ichigo couldn't take his eyes off of the hands holding his and was unable to shake off the amazement he felt at the sight until the three of them entered the empty kitchen.
"Um, Byakuya...Why did you hold my hand where anyone could see us? Isn't this going to cause a problem for you? I kinda figured that Starrk and the other Arrancars would be used to guys being together and all that, from his explination. But I know from what Rukia has said over the years that your clan expects you to marry and produce an heir."
Byakuya raised Ichigo's hand to his lips and pressed a kiss onto the back of it.
"If you will begin preparing the meal you so kindly volunteered to present to us, I will explain why there is no problem what-so-ever with this arrangement at the table while we eat."
Ichigo felt the kiss on the back of his hand ignite the blood thoughout his body. Letting out a soft affirmative as he drew his hand back against his body, Ichigo tugged his other hand out of Starrk's grasp and wandered over to the counter. Spying some eggs in a bowl on the counter, Ichigo quickly rummaged through the cabinets until he came up with a pair of frying pans and a spatula.
"Can someone find me some bacon or sausage? And how about some bread? Because unless I hear any objections, I plan on keeping this as simple as I can manage. Cooking in someone else's kitchen is kind of a nuisance since I don't know where anything is."
Byakuya moved off to the right and opened a heavy door. Entering the room, he quickly found a slab of bacon hung near the enterance. Byakuya pulled it down off the hook and brought it back out to the main room, noticing when he returned that Starrk had found a loaf of bread from somewhere else in the kitchen.
Ichigo quickly found a sharp knife, a plate, and in no time at all had the bacon sliced and frying nicely in one of the pans on the stove. When the bacon was almost finished, Ichigo poured out some of the grease into the other pan, then cracked a large number of eggs into it. Once done cracking eggs, Ichigo scooped out the bacon onto the plate. Quickly slicing the bread, Ichigo placed it in the heated bacon fat and fried one side.
"Grab me a couple more plates and if anyone wants something to drink I suggest grabing it now, because the meal is ready to serve."
Starrk grabbed three plates from where Ichigo had grabbed the earlier one, while Byakuya found three glasses and some juice, which he poured out before setting the now-filled glasses on the center island.
Starrk held a plate out to Ichigo who placed some bacon on it, before setting a slice of fried bread next to the bacon. Ichigo then cut apart the fried eggs and placed three yolks, with a generous amount of fried egg whites, onto the slice. Ichigo finished off the other two plates in the same fashion and in short order, the men found themselves eating. Ichigo placed his bacon on top of his eggs before taking a bite. After finishing his first mouthful, Ichigo took a swig of his juice to clear his throat, but before he could venture his first word, Byakuya spoke.
"It is an excellent meal, Ichigo. My thanks. And now it is time for me to enlighten you about my behaviour earlier," Byakuya took a small sip of his juice, then continued on. "I am quite sure you noticed how the other lords reacted to you when we conducted the visitations and blessings yesterday. How they summoned their daughters or neices to attend to our needs. You are quite powerful and famous, and many wish to have you marry and produce heirs for their clan. My clan is no different in their desires to bind you to itself. The only reason they have not been as blatant in their approach is because I am the clan head and would not tolerate any interfence with our friendship. My clan will be quite pleased with itself when it is announced that you will be joining it permantly. And the other reason they will not object is because of what Starrk said about Betas being able to give birth. Unohana-Taicho will be able to tell us if you are pregnant and, if you are, who the father is. If the child is Starrk's, I will gladly welcome it to the family and we will try again at some point in the future to produce one between the two of us."
"Cubs,'' Starrk chimed in with. "We Arrancars do not have children, we have cubs. Although, if Ichigo becomes pregnant from you, I supposed it would be called a child."
Ichigo was glad his mouth was empty during the explination, because he thought that he might have choked. Especially at the calm, matter of fact way Byakuya presented his reasons.
"Oi! I'm not some damn trophy you get to keep screwing until pregnant!"
"I have never, and will never, say such a thing about you, Ichigo. Nor will I allow anyone to suggest such a thing in my hearing. You wished to know why I was so happy to hold your hand in full view of any and all who might witness such, and I explained," Byakuya set his open-faced sandwhich down and took a hold of Ichigo's hand from where it rested on the table. "Ichigo, I love you. I never thought that I would feel such an emotion again after Hisana, but I must make sure that you know how I feel about you. And it has nothing to do with your power, or how you were able to defeat Aizen. I love you for yourself."
Byakuya and Ichigo were startled when a large hand settled over the top of theirs.
"As do I, Ichigo, mi alma. You complete us in a way that has never happened for either of us before. Te amo, Ichigo, te amo."
Ichigo felt tears gather in his eyes before they over flowed and ran down his face. Tugging his hand free, Ichigo rubbed both eyes and scrubbed at his face with a handtowel he found on the counter.
"Well, what are you waiting for. Let's finish eating and get to the healers. We can't stay here all day."
Byakuya and Starrk shared a smile and without any further words being spoken, the three finished eating and placed the dirty dishes in the sink. Ichigo would normally never leave a mess behind for someone else to deal with, but he was still very emotional over the confessions of his two mates. Plus, he was beginning to become very anxious to find out what the healers would say.
Once the dishes were cleared, Byakuya and Starrk grabbed Ichigo's hands and led the smaller man out of the mansion and through the Seireitei to the Sogo Kyugo Tsumesho. When they got there, Byakuya and Starrk still did not release Ichigo's hands as they made their way to the reception desk. Upon reaching the desk, before Byakuya could speak, a familiar voice was heard.
"Oi, I see ya were tha lucky ones who managed ta snag the berry-bitch. I didn't know he turned 25 yesterday. You two musta been camped out on top'a him if no one else was able ta catch ahold'a him," Grimmjow smirked at them from behind the desk. "Let me guess, ya wanna see Taicho. Not a problem. Just follow me an I'll take ya to an empty exam room an then go get her."
None of the three men were taken aback by the sight of the former Sexta Espada, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, manning the desk and they all followed after him without any words of protest.
"Hey Grimm. You do know that the probation is long over and you can come join the Visored Division, right? You aren't in the care of Unohana-Taicho anymore," Ichigo couldn't resist asking as he followed after the teal-haired Arrancar.
"Hell ya, I know that. But I ain't leaving 'til I know how she does it tho'."
"Does what, mi amigo?"
"You know..." Grimmjow trailed off and turned his head to take in the confused faces of the men following after him. "Tha' thing she does, tha' makes everyone listen ta her. How she always scares tha crap outa anyone an' everyone. I'll come fight again once I master tha'. Well, here's tha room. Wait here for a sec." And with that Grimmjow hurried off.
"You know," Ichigo spoke up as he took a seat on the examination table. "Grimm does have a bit of a point. No one crosses Unohana-Taicho. There's something about her that makes doing so seem like it would be instant death. Not even Zaraki or Yamamoto will go against her. Hell, even I refer to her as Taicho and I don't do that for anyone else in this nut farm."
"It is good to know that you have so much respect for me, Kurosaki-Fuku-Taicho. Now, what seems to be troubling you fine young men on such a wonderful day."
Ichigo shot a sheepish glance at Unohana Retsu as she came through the doorway.
"Um, sorry for talking about you like that..."
Unohana bestowed a motherly look upon the Visored.
"It is quite alright. But if you could please inform me of why the three of you are here, I have rounds to make yet and scheduled check-ups to complete for other Shinigami."
Starrk cleared his throat and spoke up. "I think, perhaps, it is best if I sum up for you, since we seem to have intruded on your time. After having us Arrancar around for the last few years, I am sure you are aware of our mating habits so I will not go into detail about all of that. I will say that Ichigo went into heat last night, many years to early, and that Byakuya and I claimed him as our Beta mate. The heat he entered skipped over el primero stage and went right into el segundo stage. It did not last the full week a heat is supposed to either. We came in to have you check on Ichigo's health, and if you could tell whether or not he is pregnant."
"Also," Byakuya chimed in from his seat in the corner, "Please have one of your lower seats send for Mayuri and Szayel. A gift was broken last night at the reception and we think it had their names signed to the tag."
"Alright," Unohana said as she moved beside Ichigo. "Let me check on the health of Kurosaki-san, then I will ask for Kurotsuchi-Taicho and Granz-san to join us. You are rather fortunate: it turns out that both of them are in the building today for their annual check-up. May I inquire why you are so determined to see them about a broken gift? I would think that it would be just as acceptable to send a hell butterfly to notify them about such an occurance."
"Well," Byakuya began, ignoring the grumbles issueing from Ichigo as Unohana laid him back on the table. "I would agree with you about sending a hell butterfly except for one thing. The gift was oozing some sort of purple liquid, and I am afraid that all three of us handled the box, getting the mystery substance on us. I wish to know if that box was from them and, if it was, what were the contents."
Unohana looked up briefly from her examination of Ichigo, her hands glowing as she scanned his body. "Yes, I can certainly understand why you would wish to contact them as soon as possible. Starrk-san, if you would be so kind as to step into the hallway, you will be able to intercept one of my people. Simply inform whomever you stop that I wish to see Syazel-san and Mayuri-san in my office in five minutes. I will be done here by that time and we shall all be able to speak in comfort there."
Starrk did as he was asked and shortly afterwards Unohana was done with the exam just like she said she would be. As she led the way to her office, Unohana politely and firmly rebuffed any questions about her findings, merely stating that she would reveal all when everyone was present. By the time the three men and Unohana reached the office, Mayuri and Szayel were already there and sitting comfortably in a loveseat along the back wall.
"Byakuya-sama, please ask what you need. I think I know what was in the box, and if I am correct, Ichigo was indeed correct in his identification of the gift's givers," Unohana calmly stated as she took her chair behind the desk. "Once you have your answers from Kurosutchi-Taicho and Granz-san, I shall inform you of the results of Ichigo's exam."
Mayuri and Szayel looked at Byakuya as he began to speak.
"There was a slight accident last night at the reception in regards to the presents. The table they were placed on was bumped into, causing some of the gifts to spill off. The gifts seemed fine overall, except for one box that seemed to have broken in the fall. When Ichigo picked it up, it was noticed to be oozing a purplish liquid and when shook, the box made a slight tinkling noise, similar in sound to broken glass. When the tag was examined, neither Starrk nor I were able to identify the signitures; however, Ichigo said that he thought he recognized them as belonging to the both of you. Could you please inform me if anything I have said about the unknown contents sound familar to either of you?"
Mayuri and Szayel exchanged a glance with each other and their faces lit up with excitement.
"Can you tell us if all of you touched the liquid?" Mayuri spoke up first.
"Yes, at some point all of us had held the box, and managed to get some of the ooze on our skin."
"How wonderful! Szayel, take notes please," Mayuri was practically bouncing in his seat with excitement at this admission. Szayel sighed and pulled out a well used notebook and pen from his sleeve. "Did any of you feel any different? Either immediately afterwards or, perhaps, later in the evening."
Starrk, Byakuya, and Ichigo shared a worried glance, then Starrk spoke up.
"Then the gift was from the two of you?"
"It certainly sounds like it might be, but I'll know for sure if you would answer my question."
Starrk rubbed at the back of his neck before releasing a sigh. "I think that I can say without fear of controdiccion from Byakuya or Ichigo, that many things felt different about last noche. Una importante is the fact that Ichigo went into heat many years too early and was mated to both Byakuya and myself. Now please inform us if that was your ooze and what, if anything, it might have had to do with last noche."
"Fascinating. Absolutely fascinating. I will say that yes, it does sound like it might indeed be our present. Szayel and I thought that our newest invention would be the perfect gift for a married couple. Plus they could be ordered to participate in the studies we are running," Mayuri's eyes gleamed as he continued. "We were approached by Unohana about creating potions to help with infertility awhile ago and, after many experiments, Szayel and I invented two such potions. One was pink, invented by Szayel, and that one was intended for the woman. The pink potion induces the female body to be at its most fertile, ensuring that there will be eggs to be fertilized by the male and that the eggs will implant in the uterine wall. I invented a blue potion for the males. My creation is guaranteed to increase the potency of the male's seed and when taken together, the potions have had a 100% success rate for pregnancy in lab trials. And it's astonishing that it seems to have had an affect on the three of you, although none of you ingested it."
"Which leads us to the results of the examination. If I may have everyone's attention, I am ready to inform you of my discoveries. And before anyone asks: yes, Mayuri and Szayel need to stay for this. I would have to notify them about this so they can inform any other Arrancar or Visored who may need fertility treatments that it will work for them," Unohana took a deep breathe before continuing on. "Ichigo, you are indeed pregnant. Byakuya, you should begin planning a nursery for your child."
Byakuya mananged to look both overjoyed at the news of impending fatherhood, and in shock that he was the father.
"Felicitaciones, mi amigo! You will make a wonderful father and I am muy feliz about such news."
"Starrk," Unohana said. Starrk quit clapping Byakuya on the shoulder and looked at the quiet healer.
"Si?"
"Mayuri said that the potions worked together to have a 100% success rate. Remember?"
"Si, but what does that have to do with me? Ichigo is already pregnant with Byakuya's child."
"Yes, but he is also pregnant with your child as well. In fact, he is very pregnant because of you, since I was able to identify twins that had the signature rieryoku of both you and Ichigo. Congratulations to the three of you."
Ichigo looked ready to pass out at the news that, not only was he pregnant, he was pregnant with three children from two different fathers. Starrk and Byakuya looked extremely pleased with themselves and were happily slapping each other on the backs and shaking hands. Mayuri and Szayel had stood up and moved to stand on either side of Ichigo and were talking to him, trying to get him to agree to come back to the Thirteenth Division for testing. Unohana had moved from around her desk and was trying, without much success, to reach Ichigo so she could help the shocked young man into a chair.
"Yes, it does seem like some congratulations are in order. As well as a few other things."
When those words were heard everyone, except for Unohana, froze in their actions and turned to the doorway. Unohana ignored the voice for long enough to help Ichigo settle into a chair, before turning to face the speaker.
"Yamamoto-So-Taicho, I will be with you momentarily for your check-up. I just have to settle everyone down and I will be right along to attend to you."
"Mmmm," Yamamoto looked around the room and spoke again. "I feel that this is more important, Retsu. Mayuri and Szayel, you need to ensure that in the future any potions you create do not interfere with the lives of anyone other than those whom you intended to benefit from said potions. There will be disclipinary action if any of your potions affect the underage again. I am quite sure you can imagine what that would do to your budget with such a black mark against your division. You are fortunate indeed that there was a welcome outcome this time. You are dismissed. Please leave the room, immediately."
Yamamoto waited until the two mates had left before shutting the door.
"Now, for something much more important than scolding two who will never listen to me," Yamamoto turned and focused all his attention on Starrk and Byakuya. "What are your intentions with regards to my grandson."
Starrk could feel all color drain from his face as he turned to Ichigo in shock. Byakuya looked haggard as he also face the Visored.
"Grandson?" They exclaimed at the same time.
Ichigo looked up at the two of them and let a diabolical smile spread across his face.
"Oops. I must have forgotten to mention that. Sorry, my bad."

I don't know what happened but this chapter didn't want to be written. I spent two weeks on it and I don't know if I'm happy yet. Oh well. That's just how it goes sometimes.
I justify the use of the heart-attack on a plate earlier in the chapter because 1) they work out and fight a lot and therefor use up a lot of calories and 2) technically, they are already dead.
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Wedding Night Mishap