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Till Death Do Us Part	By : honeyMellon Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male > Renji/Shuuhei Views: 928 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: No underaged beings, humans or otherwise, are involved in this work of fiction. Bleach and all its characters belong to Kubo Tite, I just "expand" them for fun. I do not make any profit from these work of fiction.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
Chapter 8

After three days of rest, Shuuhei finally felt well enough to begin speaking. The past three days had been torture to him. Not physically—under Orihime and Hanatarou's amazing care, he actually felt surprisingly little pain—but watching Renji care for him happily nearly drove him crazy.

Every day, Renji was by his side whenever he woke up. He would just be sitting there, smiling encouragingly at Shuuhei. During mealtimes Renji insisted on feeding him instead of having Hanatarou do it. He couldn't believe how gentle Renji could be—the usually loud and rough Renji was nowhere to be found. He had patiently fed Shuuhei, spoonful by spoonful. On the first day Shuuhei was so weak that he couldn't control the muscles on his face well. Soup would dribble from his mouth, and as his face burned with shame, Renji would quietly wipe his mouth, his touch so careful and loving that Shuuhei's heart ached. He ached because of what he had to do to Renji. He wanted Renji so much, and wished he could live on like this with Renji, but…

That morning, Shuuhei decided it was time. He waited until Hanatarou had left the room, then he looked over at Renji. The redhead was kneeling by his side as usual. Now, he looked expectantly as Shuuhei cleared his throat.

"Renji," Shuuhei began. He paused to gather his courage. "Thank you for looking after me these few days."

"You would do the same for me," Renji said, grinning. Before Shuuhei could react, Renji grasped his hand and held it. "I've been looking forward to hearing your voice again, Shuuhei."

Fighting down a sudden rush of nausea, Shuuhei gently pulled his hand away. He cleared his throat again. "I really appreciate your care, but I think we have a misunderstanding." His heart cracked when he saw Renji's face turn pale, fear and confusion clear in his eyes.

"What do you mean?" Renji whispered.

"I fear that I don't…" Shuuhei closed his eyes. "I fear that I don't…feel the same way. I…I like you, as…as a friend."

Then there was absolute silence.

Renji couldn't comprehend what he had just heard. He sat there, staring at Shuuhei with his mouth wide open, willing his brain to process the words again.

"You like me? As a friend?" He whispered, pain clear in his voice. "But—"

Shuuhei looked at him apologetically. "I'm sorry, Renji. I tried to tell you, but I was too weak to speak. I really didn't mean to…to give you the wrong impression."

Renji felt his face burn in embarrassment. "But Kira—"

Shuuhei sighed. Now he understood why Renji had acted this way. He fumed inside. Kira…how dare he! Not only had he betrayed Shuuhei's trust, now he had ruined Shuuhei's friendship with Renji, the only precious thing he had with the one he loved. Damn that Kira!

"Kira…he…he misunderstood," Shuuhei said, making a supreme effort at keeping his voice steady. "I'm sorry that he led you to believe this. I apologize on his behalf." He took in a deep breath in order to keep his heart from seizing up. This was so painful! But he had to do this—he had to. He needed to do this now before Renji sank too deep into his emotions. This was the only way he could protect Renji from even worse pain down the road.

"I'm sorry too, then," Renji said, fighting to keep his back straight and his chin up. To say he was hurt was an understatement. He felt as if he had been punched in the chest. No, punched through, then had his heart wrenched out. The euphoria he had felt for the past three days suddenly crumbled. He felt tears springing to his eyes, but he forced them down and stood up. He thought back to his own actions in the past three days and his face burned even more, he had bared his heart and soul to Shuuhei and now he was being told that it was all a misunderstanding on his part! He gave an awkward bow and quickly turned around and exited the room.

Renji stumbled to his room blindly. Once he was inside, he slumped against the wall and took in ragged gasps. The tears he fought to keep in now flowed against his will. He gritted his teeth in an effort to stop himself from sobbing out loud. In the past couple of days he had actually begun to think of what he and Shuuhei would do once they get back to Soul Society…long walks together along the river, making love on his bed, waking up with Shuuhei next to him every morning… All of that…gone, just like that.

The redhead cursed himself for being so gullible, for believing Kira so easily. Of course Kira could be wrong—he had said that Shuuhei was good at hiding his thoughts after all, but he had wanted to believe it so badly that he didn't give a second thought. And now he had gone and made a fool of himself. How was he going to face Shuuhei in the future?

I like you…as a friend. Hisagi's voice lingered in Renji's ears. Like. Renji felt like crying and laughing at the same time. He had enough love for Shuuhei to last several lifetimes but all Shuuhei felt for him was…"like"…as a friend. Feelings of utter humiliation and the blow to his pride suddenly became too much; finally sobbing, he slowly slid to the floor. He couldn't hold it in anymore.

"You did what?" Kira stared at Shuuhei, his heart racing in anger.

Shuuhei frowned and stared back defiantly. "You dare question me after betraying my trust?" He had asked for Kira immediately after Renji left. "I trusted you to keep it to yourself!"

"You were dying, Shuuhei!" Kira raised his voice. In his anger, he subconsciously dropped his usual formality and used Shuuhei's given name. The normally calm and quiet—some called him brooding—3rd squad Vice Captain could hardly contain his disbelief and anger. "You told him I misunderstood? Do you know how much you've humiliated him?"

"Oh, and whose fault is it?" Shuuhei retorted coldly.

"I can't believe this!" Kira flung his hands in the air, anger flashing in his eyes. "It's one thing to tell him that you can't be with him but to completely deny your feelings for him? To lead him to believe that everything I told him was not true and that it's all in his head? How dare you?" He could only imagine what Renji was feeling right now. His own feeling of guilt for spilling Shuuhei's secret had now been completely replaced by sheer anger towards his dark-haired friend.

Shuuhei kept quiet. Renji's anguished face flashed in his mind. The way the happy smile fell suddenly, the disappointment in Renji's eyes…it was nearly too much to bear.It's for Renji's protection, he reminded himself. But even so, he was beginning to doubt his own reasoning. To his surprise, the more he defended himself against Kira, the less conviction he felt. Was this really worth it? Once again he saw Renji's face in his mind, and his heart clenched.

He shot Kira a sideways glance while pretending to look aloof. His best friend's blond hair covered half of his face as usual, but the eye that was not covered pierced him with an icy glare. He had never seen Kira so angry. Even when Kira found out that Captain Ichimaru had betrayed him, his reaction was to collapse inward and blame himself instead of directing his anger towards his traitorous captain. Now, however, Kira's shoulder was trembling slightly from his effort to hold himself together, to not lash out completely at his injured friend.

To cover his own insecurity, Shuuhei feigned coldness and said in an arrogant monotone, "I did not put Renji in this position—you did. If you had kept your mouth shut he would not have to be hurt like this." But even as he said so, he felt his heart falter a bit.

"You think you love him?" Kira's voice was low, but it was laced with distaste. "And yet you're willing to put him through this pain. You have no right, no fucking right, to say that you love him." Kira stood up, his eyes locked on Shuuhei's. "You don't know shit about love, Shuuhei." He spat. What that, he turned around and stormed off, leaving Shuuhei alone.

Stunned, Shuuhei stared at the door. He had never heard Kira cuss before. Hell, he was the most polite person Shuuhei had ever met. But that look—that look of complete disgust—that Kira shot him right before he turned around shook Shuuhei to the core. Self-doubt rose again in his mind, and he shook his head, literally, in an attempt to convince himself that he was doing it for Renji's own good. Somehow this time, his inner voice sounded quite…lame.

Rukia looked sadly at her childhood friend, who was sitting in the living room chatting cheerfully with Urahara. Too cheerfully—Rukia could see through the forced smile on Renji's face. Renji—hot-blooded, stubborn, blunt—was not one who was used to hiding his emotions. Right now, with dark circles under his eyes and an unnaturally wide smile on his face, any fool could see that Abarai Renji was trying to put on a front, and was failing miserably. Something must have happened between him and Shuuhei, but he had refused to talk about it when Rukia asked him earlier.

Just as she had decided confront Shuuhei herself, Kira pulled her and Ichigo aside and told them everything. The blond-haired man was worried about Renji. He had tried to talk to the Renji earlier, but the redhead just skillfully changed the subject. He didn't direct any anger towards Kira, but there was a certain unspoken awkwardness between the two men, so Kira decided not to press it. So instead, he turned to Renji's two closest friends; they should know about what happened so that they could prevent the man from doing anything stupid.

Rukia's blood boiled as she listened. Kira had to restrain her from bolting into Shuuhei's room. "Now's not the time," Kira warned.

"But we have to do something!" Rukia hissed. Ichigo's eyes were also narrowed in anger. He didn't know Shuuhei very well, but he had always thought well of the 9th squal Vice Captain. But now Ichigo felt like he could strangle the man, to hell with his injuries.

"I did do something—I told Renji," Kira said sadly. "I thought I was doing them both a favor and look at what's happened."

"It's not your fault," Ichigo said. There was a long pause as nobody said anything, then he glanced evilly to the side at Urahara as he pondered something. "I have an idea…"

"Pick a dress?" Renji sounded bewildered. "What the hell made you think that I would know how to pick a dress?"

Rukia rolled her eyes and whined, "C'mon Renji! I can't make up my mind, I need your opinion!" Then she opened her eyes and blinked innocently up at Renji. "Or do you think I look ugly in dresses?"

"Woah—" Renji threw up his hands in defeat. "Okay, I'll go! I'll go!"

Rukia grinned and immediately pushed her friend out the door. "We're leaving now! Don't forget to wait for us for dinner!" She sang.

Inside Urahara' house, Ichigo cringed while Kira facepalmed. "I don't think she'll be winning any Best Actress awards any time soon…" Kira commented with a groan.

Ichigo chuckled. "Well, time for us to do our part…"
- 7
- 8
- 9
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Till Death Do Us Part