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A Shadow of What Was	By : katami Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 49594 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Author's Notes: I would like to take this opportunity to thank all the people reading this story and all those who have taken the time to review. I hope you enjoy this latest offering.

Things going to hell in a hand basket was mentioned awhile back - this night and the next 24 to 36 hours is it, folks. So be ready for lots of explosions in coming chapters.

And not to worry, Ichigo will be okay, he is shocked and hurt, but he will pull himself together. And Grimmjow will get clue regarding Jyuushiro and Shunsui eventually - with just a little outside help. Poor kitty.

* * *

Byakuya stared at the shambles that had been made of his room. A thick layer of frost covered everything. His little sister was becoming quite powerful a distant part of his mind noted. The rest of him simply stared at the icy ruination of his private quarters. There was something oddly fitting about it, he thought. His evening destroyed and him alone in a frozen wasteland. Something told him that a good number of people would find it highly appropriate.

Ulquiorra was gone, slipping out quietly with an emotionless murmur of, 'I should go' after Rukia had stormed off in a huff. Byakuya hadn't wanted to let him go, hadn't wanted to stand there stiffly as the Arrancar left. But he had responded with a stoic, 'that would be best' and watched the other man leave. He had wanted so much to reach out and stop the former Espada, knowing that if he let Ulquiorra leave then it would destroy whatever lay between them. But fear and his own training had held him back. It had been easy to watch Rukia stomp from the room, he had been watching her slip ever further from him for decades - not that they had ever been close. His fault again.

Watching Ulquiorra quietly leave him had felt different than Rukia's leaving. It had felt like the death of something beautiful, something so fragile and new he did not even have a name for it yet. He knew that whatever it might have grown into had died though when the pale figure of Ulquiorra Schiffer had slipped from his quarters. It was too late for anything other than regrets.

And regrets were something he had plenty of. Ulquiorra and what might have been would just be one more thing for him to pull out late at night and torture himself with.

His eyes fell to the broken vase and the shattered roses. Rukia's display of temper had flash frozen them and the shoe she had tossed at his chest in a fit of pique had bounced off to hit the vase. The vase had tumbled over and the roses had shattered. It was odd to mourn the loss of a few silly flowers, he thought, but still he did. Those pink roses had been the first flowers anyone had ever given him. It seemed strange that of all the suitors to ever court him, only an Arrancar had ever given him flowers; and that of all the tokens he had received, a few silly roses counted for so much. He had seen the uncertainty and honest emotion swirling in the former Espada's green eyes though. Ulquiorra had thought his gesture foolish and not understood it, but he had still presented the flowers to Byakuya - an honest expression of his affection in the only way he had known to make it.

And more touching for it's honesty than all the other shiny baubles he had ever been given.

He stared at their ruined beauty and wondered if he shouldn't have gone after the Arrancar. He knew going after Rukia would have been futile, had known that since she tossed her shoe at him. He made a small note that his sister was spending far too much time with Abarai and Kurosaki before sighing again.

"Forgive me for interrupting, but I have need of you." Hitsugaya Toushirou's voice cut across his melancholy and reminded him of the one thing he had left. Duty. He straightened quickly and composed himself with the skill of a lifetime's worth of practice, his face easily falling into the smooth lines he customarily wore.

"How may I be of assistance, Hitsugaya-taichou?" he asked with calm propriety.

"We are having an incident and your input would be greatly appreciated," murmured the smaller man, glancing around the frosty room without so much as a twitch. Byakuya wondered how far word of Rukia's little explosion had spread and winced at the idea of his personal life as fodder for Soul Society's rumor mill.

He felt his spine stiffen and gave the white-haired captain a small nod before he broke Senbonzakura loose from her icy prison, earning a wash of irritation from the blade. He belted her to his hip with a silent apology and turned to face the captain of the Tenth. "I am ready," he murmured.

"You could take a moment, say goodbye to anyone..."

"Unnecessary, but thank you."

They marched quickly through the garden and towards the Tenth, the nearest of the Earth gates. "I take it the evening did not go as planned?" murmured Hitsugaya as they stepped onto the streets of the Seireitei. The younger man's voice was soft and neutral, not pushing for explanation but offering to listen if he should want to talk.

"I begin to think little in this life does," he replied softly, suddenly finding that the idea of sharing a word or two with the captain of the Tenth didn't seem so awful. It almost seemed like it might help ease the lonely, cold place inside him that was threatening to once more consume him.

"If I might offer a small bit of advice, Kuchiki-san?" That was another reason to like Hitsugaya, he had tact, he did not just go stumbling blindly into delicate situations. Byakuya gave the smaller captain a tiny nod. Hitsugaya might have been young, but he had the cunning of a dragon and surprising wisdom.

"It is better to court the contempt of those who don't matter than bring pain to one who does," murmured the Captain of the Tenth, a deep contentment settling over him. "Kurosaki would tell you that our first kiss was September 02, 2024. In truth it was our third kiss. Our first was in '09, she kissed me after they pulled me out of the rubble." There was wry amusement in his voice and Byakuya could understand why, Kurosaki Karin would have been only twelve or thirteen at the time. The idea of her kissing a Shinigami captain several decades her senior was rather funny - especially considering what her older brother would have said about it. "The next time she kissed me was seven years later when she admitted to having feelings for me. We were friends by then; but I told her that nothing could come of her attraction.- a mistake I would not see you mistake Kuchiki Byakuya. I wasted six years denying myself and her ."

"And the third kiss?" asked Byakuya softly. Although he knew their situations were vastly different. For one thing, despite the frowns it might generate, there wasn't a person in Soul Society who could argue that a match between the brilliant and powerful young captain and Kurosaki was a bad one. Even from a purely dynastic standpoint it was beneficial; any children they had promised to be powerful. Hitsugaya was courting a woman, who while human, was the daughter of a captain and sister to one of the most powerful beings in Soul Society and of captain level strength herself.

Not a turncoat Arrancar.

And he had no family to object to the match. Not like Byakuya who already had a sister who violently objected and a pack of noble relatives just waiting to pounce on him about producing an heir.

"The third kiss was goodbye. She had planned to leave; she had been offered a promotion that would have taken her Nagasaki. She came to say goodbye and...I found I was not ready to let her go," murmured Hitsugaya, just the memory of the moment seemed to lightened him, to lift his spirit and bring him joy.

"Kurosaki Karin is hardly Ulquiorra Schiffer," Byakuya pointed out pragmatically, still he wanted that, that feeling of peace and contentment rather than just the icy stoicism of his rank. He'd had moments of it with Hisana, but he had always come second in her affections and that had always been a hard pill to swallow.

"True, but you managed to dissuade them from suggesting a marriage between Kuchiki Rukia and Kurosaki Ichigo. I'm sure a match to an Arrancar can be suggested in such a way as to appear favorable." Byakuya chuckled softly, because there was little else he could do at the idea of his sister and Ichigo. He still didn't know which of his idiot relatives had suggested the idea; he was just glad he had silenced it before either of the two in question heard of it.

"I let him go this evening when I shouldn't have."

The smile Hitsugaya gave him was soft and bracing, a gentle comfort from one who had made the same mistakes. "I would suggest flowers and wine but I have need of you this evening, so I will instead offer breakfast and a sincere apology."

"What has happened now?" demanded Byakuya, wondering if one peaceful evening in which to attempt to resolve his life was really so much to ask for. Apparently it was if the sigh Hitsugaya gave was any indication.

"Jeagerjaques is homicidal, Kurosaki is a damned zombie, and Urahara is once again AWOL. I sometimes wonder what Ichigo was thinking wanting that man back. We haven't had this much action in a decade," grumbled the younger man.

"Would you rather take the patrols or coordinate command?"

"Patrol. I could use the stretch and with both Ichigo and Rukia," A pause as Hitsugaya waited for him to confirm that his sister would be unavailable, "We'll need another captain in the field. Ishida and Yoruichi are good but they can't cover the whole town alone."

"I will attempt to impart that fact to Kurosaki Karin when she inquires after you," murmured Byakuya drolly, earning a smirk from Hitsugaya.

"Go after him when this is over, Byakuya. He has been good for you."
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A Shadow of What Was