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The Heart in My Hand	By : chayron Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 10028 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. It belongs to its respective owners. This fan fiction is not a commercial project, and I am not making any money from writing it.

Chapter List
- 1-Part 1
- 2-Part 2
- 3-Part 3
- 4-Part 4
- 5-Part 5
- 6-Part 6
- 7-Part 7
- 8-Part 8
- 9-Part 9
- 10-Part 10
- 11-Part 11
- 12-Part 12
- 13-Part 13
- 14-Part 14
- 15-Part 15
- 16-Part 16
- 17-Part 17
- 18-Part 18
- 19-Part 19
- 20-Part 20
- 21-Part 21
- 22-Part 22
- 23-Part 23
- 24-Part 24
- 25-Part 25
- 26-Part 26
- 27-Part 27
- 6
- 7
- 8
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach – it belongs to its respective owners. This fan fiction is not a commercial project, and I am not making any money from writing it.
Warnings:
1. Yaoi (male x male). Ulquiorra x Ichigo and vice versa. Other pairings?
2. Ichigo – almost 19 years old; Ulquiorra – probably a few hundred as a Hollow and about a decade or so as an Arrancar?
3. Post anime (haven’t read the manga).
4. Alternate Universe.
5. I’m not a native speaker, thus expect various language oddities.
6. I’m not very familiar with all the details in the anime, and I am also new to Bleach fandom, so I will be straying away from the canon quite frequently. I do my research but Bleach is a vast universe that is not so easy to grasp. I must admit, though, that there are also things in the anime that don’t make sense to me and I take the liberty of recreating certain parts of this universe as I see fit.
The Heart in My Hand
by chayron (lttomb@yahoo.com), beta-read by Ash
Part 7
After Uryu left, Ichigo finished his cold tea and went upstairs to his room to study. Ulquiorra lingered in the kitchen before he followed him and settled on the red-head’s currently free bed. The previous night he had slept on the futon. Ichigo had insisted he take the bed but he had strictly refused.
Soon only the rustle of paper and Ulquiorra’s rhythmical breathing were heard. Ichigo swiveled sideways in his chair to see the Arrancar asleep. Ulquiorra was lying on his side, facing the window, with his back to Ichigo. It was strange to see him sleep so peacefully. Ichigo scratched the back of his head with his pencil and returned to his studies.
About two hours later, Ichigo realized that he was more interested in drawing spiky cactuses along the corners of the pages than studying and put the printouts away. He left the room and jogged downstairs to search for a snack. He delved deep into the fridge.
“There’s some chicken on the top shelf,” Yuzu informed her brother, approaching him. “Are you going to Kisuke’s today?” she asked, waiting for him to fish out the plate of chicken. Putting it on the sideboard cabinet, Ichigo nodded. Yuzu closed the door and peeled a sticky note off the fridge. “Here,” she held it out to Ichigo. “This is a shopping list for dinner.”
Ichigo took it with his left hand and inspected the products on the list. He yelped in surprise when Yuzu slapped his right hand.
“What?” he asked, refusing to let go of the chicken wing he had claimed.
“Warm it up first,” she said, slapping his hand again. She stubbornly kept slapping it until he dropped the wing back into the plate. She quickly swept the plate off the cabinet and put it into the microwave. Then she heard the click indicating that the washing machine had unlocked its door, and went to the laundry room.
Ichigo glanced at the microwave where his food was rotating happily, inspected the list again, put it into his pocket, and pushed the stop button. He carried the plate to the table and sat down. The chicken was barely warm.
The red-head was half-way through the chicken when he heard the door open. Ulquiorra wandered into the kitchen, saw him, stopped, then continued towards the couch further away and sat down. Feeling guilty, Ichigo finished the chicken leg he had been eating in a few bites and carried the rest of the chicken back to the fridge. He washed his hands and walked over to Ulquiorra. He pointed to the Arrancar’s pocket and was rewarded with the notebook and pen. With a few sentences he informed the Arrancar of their impending daily visit to Kisuke and grocery shopping. Both were met neutrally.
“Will you go like this?” Ulquiorra asked, meaning Ichigo’s Human body.
“Well, yeah, I’ll need to go shopping later,” Ichigo repeated.
Ulquiorra didn’t say anything to that. He stood up and went to the door. Ichigo went to the bathroom to tell Yuzu that they were leaving. He was almost out of the bathroom when he saw the Shinigami robe that he had tossed into the corner earlier. He picked up the robe and rolled it into a bundle.
Ichigo was putting his shoes on when Ulquiorra took note of the robe next to him on the floor. He reached down and picked it up. Ulquiorra’s fingers squeezed the fabric curiously. There was something very familiar about the robe and the familiarity extended beyond him having worn it once.
“Kisuke asked me to take it with us next time we went to see him,” Ichigo explained. He finished putting his shoes on and straightened.
“Oh.”
The Arrancar turned the robe around in his hands a few times. It was giving Ulquiorra a very distinctive feeling but he couldn’t quite understand why. Urahara being interested in the robe didn’t bode well.
Ichigo gasped when the robe suddenly started fading in Ulquiorra’s hands. “What?” he grunted in surprise. “Why? Where did it go?” he wondered when his fingers felt nothing but air.
Ulquiorra lowered his hands. “It disappeared,” he stated the obvious.
Ichigo waited for an explanation but it never came. Instead, Ulquiorra picked up the empty lunch box and opened the door, stepping outside.
“You can’t carry that,” Ichigo said, taking the box from him.
The approximate forty minutes’ walk through the city from Ichigo’s house to Urahara Shop passed without incident. At first they had received a few astonished looks but then Ichigo realized that it was because of the notebook and pen in Ulquiorra’s pockets that seemed to just float in the air. He took those from the Arrancar and the problem was solved. As usual, when he was in his body, it took them much longer to reach Urahara Shop. Ulquiorra must have ascertained himself again that the Human body was a real nuisance.
When they arrived, Kisuke was talking to a customer and motioned for them to proceed further into the house. The conversation was taking some time and, bored, Ichigo started browsing through the wares on display. Ulquiorra wandered off to the back of the house. Soon, he returned to get his notebook and pen back from Ichigo and disappeared again.
“Sorry, sorry,” Kisuke said nearly half an hour later. He swept past the showcases, his face radiating happiness. “I’ve just sold a hundred good luck charms for the festival in July.”
“Congratulations,” Ichigo said, lowering what looked like a cudgel with holes drilled into it back to its place; he couldn’t even begin to fathom what it was meant for. “And we, as usual, came here for the food.”
“Ah, right,” the former captain said. He started walking towards the living room. “Ururu has two boxes ready.”
“I don’t think that’s enough,” Ichigo said, following Kisuke. “I think he’s always hungry. That’s dangerous and not really humane.”
“He’s a Hollow – we don’t need to be humane,” Kisuke said, sitting down at the table. “You don’t need to worry about it.”
Ichigo gave Kisuke a reproachful look. “But what about the ‘dangerous’ part? And while we’re still on this topic, you’re not Human either,” he pointed out.
“Well, yes,” Kisuke agreed easily. “Anyway, soon this won’t be a problem.”
“I hope so,” the red-head muttered, sitting down as well.
Kisuke drew his fan and waved it leisurely. “So have you brought that robe he was wearing?”
Ichigo scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “Um…not exactly.”
The former captain cocked his head, wondering. “Is that a yes or a no?”
“Well, I was going to bring it but it disappeared,” Ichigo said.
Kisuke’s fan stopped in surprise. “Disappeared? What do you mean? You lost it? Tore it? Burned it?” he offered.
“No, it just…” Ichigo shrugged. “Ulquiorra took it and it disappeared.” A strange expression crossed Kisuke’s face, making Ichigo wonder what exactly this was about.
“Ah,” Kisuke finally said. His fan started moving again. “He absorbed the spirit particles,” he concluded.
Ichigo was frowning, giving him a confused look. “You can do that?”
“Not normally,” Kisuke said with a shrug. “It’s more within a Quincy’s expertise. Well, it doesn’t matter. Any other news?”
Ichigo’s face brightened. “His hearing is returning. He can’t hear normal speech yet, only certain sound frequencies, but it’s really getting better.”
Kisuke nodded. “I told you it would.” The fast healing process was astonishing, though, and he couldn’t help but be impressed. He could definitely see why Mayuri had taken such a keen interest in Ulquiorra. In fact, he was no less interested in Ulquiorra than Mayuri, but mentioning this to Ulquiorra or Ichigo would have disastrous consequences. Maybe later, when all of this calmed down.
“Oh, right,” Ichigo said. “Just a few hours ago I received a visit from Uryu.”
“And?”
“And nothing, actually. He just made sure that we were still alive and left.”
Kisuke chuckled. “Sounds like Ishida. And where did Ulquiorra go?” he asked, motioning with his fan at the door.
Ichigo shrugged dismissively. “Must be continuing to mark his territory.” He leaned back, sighing, putting his hands on the floor behind his back to support himself. “I’m still conflicted about him staying at my place. If I was alone, it would be okay, but there’re my sisters and…” he let out another meaningful sigh, not finishing.
Kisuke’s face acquired an expression of concern. “Did he do anything?”
Ichigo shook his head. “No, he didn’t. I really don’t think he will either, but… Well, you know.”
“If you’re worried about that time when he nearly attacked you, it shouldn’t happen again,” Kisuke said. He could see that Ichigo felt uncomfortable mentioning it. “Besides, it is very likely that after Isshin returns, you won’t even need to worry about him staying at your house.”
Ichigo groaned, “Don’t even remind me… He’ll toss both of us out.” The truth, however, was that Isshin wouldn’t. He would just be disappointed and upset, which was much worse in Ichigo’s mind. The red-head pointed at Kisuke’s chest. “In that case, you’ll have to take him in.”
Kisuke shrugged. “I don’t really mind, but I don’t think he’ll agree to that.”
Ichigo grunted in realization. That was true – he did get the impression that Ulquiorra didn’t trust the former captain very much. Maybe he would see the invitation to stay as an insult. “But he doesn’t really have anywhere else to go, does he?” he wondered.
Kisuke gave the red-head a curious look. It seemed that Ichigo had momentarily forgotten who he was talking about. “Ichigo, he’s over two hundred years old, and he’s an Arrancar. He’ll find a place to stay easily,” Kisuke said. “An average Hollow can’t even put a scratch on him no matter how weakened he is.”
Ichigo shrugged. “That may be so, but it’s not really about that, is it?”
They stared at each other until Kisuke turned his eyes away. The former captain shook his head. The younger man was too compassionate for his own good. And yet, it always worked out in his favor.
The main interest of Ichigo and Kisuke’s conversation didn’t return for some time and they went to see what was keeping him. They found the Arrancar in the kitchen, eating something that seemed to be just off the stove. It had a very pleasant smell, too. Ururu was sitting opposite Ulquiorra, writing in the notebook. Ichigo wondered what they could be talking about but, not wanting to appear nosy or mistrustful, didn’t ask.
When Ulquiorra finished eating, they left the shop. On their way home, they stopped at a store nearby. Before they entered, Ichigo wrote down a few instructions as to how Ulquiorra should behave in the store. Ulquiorra read them and inwardly rolled his eyes. He followed Ichigo into the store, and then kept following him for about ten minutes. Milk, beef, some carrots, four large yoghurt cups, an enormous leek, everything found its way into Ichigo’s cart.
“Put that down,” Ichigo said with an annoyed grunt when an egg carton seemingly floating in the air attracted a few customers’ attention. “I told you not to touch anything,” he admonished, snatching the carton out of the Arrancar’s hands and putting it back in its place.
“But it’s on the list,” Ulquiorra pointed out.
Huffing, Ichigo grabbed the eggs off the shelf again and wheeled the cart away. He studied the list again, but that was it – he had everything. They were approaching one of the cashier lines when Ichigo stopped abruptly, his body tense. There had just been a burst of powerful and unfamiliar energy. Ichigo looked over at Ulquiorra, whose head was turned in the direction of the source. It didn’t exactly feel like a Hollow, but could be just as or even more dangerous than one. It was a couple of kilometers away from the store, and Ichigo considered going to check it out. He was already reaching for his Substitute Shinigami Badge when the flow of energy disappeared. Surprised, Ichigo lowered his hand, not touching his badge. It had vanished just as suddenly as it had appeared, leaving no trace he could latch onto. Wondering, he pushed the cart forward. Was it a new threat or a new ally? Or was it only Kisuke experimenting with something? The former captain, though, would have definitely informed him beforehand.
When they returned home, Yuzu gave them both a lecture for being late. She instructed Ichigo to store the food she didn’t need in the fridge and surrounding cabinets, then set on making dinner. Ichigo washed and chopped the vegetables while Yuzu juggled pots and frying pans on the stove. From the mauve sofa further away, Ulquiorra watched their idyllic antics.
Karin returned from her football training at almost the same time the food was done. She jogged to her room to change her clothes then joined everyone at the table.
“Dad called,” Yuzu said while they were eating, “asked how we were doing.”
Ichigo’s hand faltered above the saltshaker and he looked over to Yuzu then his eyes turned to Ulquiorra, who was sitting next to him, finishing Ururu’s leftover cake. “And what did you tell him?” he asked.
“That we were doing fine,” Yuzu answered. “What else?”
Karin didn’t miss her brother shift uneasily in his chair. Their father was returning Monday evening, and she was interested in what his reaction to Ulquiorra would be. She barely knew anything about him – Ichigo had told her that he was an old friend who needed help, but it was only too obvious that this was a lie. They did share some strange kinship, but it seemed like they tolerated each other’s presence rather than enjoy it. Ichigo’s friends, however, seemed to know Ulquiorra from some time ago as well. She didn’t know what they thought but Kon hated the pale Arrancar and was mistrustful of him.
She couldn’t blame Kon – there was something unsettling about Ulquiorra. Even when the Arrancar was sitting at the same table as them, obliviously eating his cake, he seemed to exude some kind of inner force.
Sitting at the table with Ichigo’s family was relaxing. Ulquiorra scooped out another forkful of cake. No one shouted; no one tried to kill each other. This particular thought made him look around in search of the Modified Soul. It was nowhere to be seen. With a blissful sigh, Ulquiorra continued eating his cake. His hearing was getting better quickly. He had finally started to hear particularly loud noises no matter how high or low the sound was.
Everyone started at the table and the Arrancar gave them a questioning look. It appeared to be the phone and Ichigo went to answer it.
“Oh, how are you?”
“Yeah, we’re fine.”
“He’s fine.”
“Of course.”
“Certainly.”
“Yeah, that’d be great.”
“Sure.”
“That’s a good idea.”
Karin and Yuzu met each other’s eyes. It was Orihime. Her and Ichigo’s conversations always sounded similar. He and Orihime started going out soon after Aizen’s defeat, after Ichigo had lost almost all of his reiatsu. It had been a very difficult time for Ichigo. He acted like he had finally accepted his fate and learnt to live with it. But the truth was that he never did. It had been a huge blow for him not to be able to watch over the people he loved, to defend them. The tables had turned and he had become the one who needed to be protected from even the weakest of Hollows. Despite the fact that he had tried not to show how affected he was, everyone had noticed that he had become withdrawn, even somewhat unstable.
Orihime had done everything in her power to help him but her attempts had been for naught. Contrary to her expectations, her efforts had not worked out in her favor as Ichigo had become even more withdrawn. It had been apparent to everyone except her that all additional concern made Ichigo feel coddled, which, in turn, made him feel even more useless. And while Ichigo was grateful for everything she had done for him, he couldn’t help but feel that she pitied him. The relationship dragged on and off for several months before they finally broke up. It had been Ichigo’s initiative since he could see that it wasn’t going to work and believed that she deserved someone much better, someone who really loved her.
Orihime stopped calling and visiting him, but occasionally she would phone his sisters to find out how he was doing. Ichigo didn’t know this, just as he didn’t know how painful it had been for her when he had finally decided to end it between them. His sisters knew it all, though. Orihime still loved Ichigo. It wasn’t clear if she expected anything anymore, but they believed that Kon was her excuse to see Ichigo. Now, with Ulquiorra here, she had one more excuse to visit their brother.
“Orihime is coming over for a visit on Monday,” Ichigo said when he returned to the table.
“Oh?” Karin said, sipping her tea.
“Yeah,” Ichigo said, nodding, “after her part-time job.”
Yuzu sighed.
ooOoOoOoo
Lazily, Ichigo rolled onto his side and grabbed his phone to check the time. It was about ten in the morning. He lowered the phone back onto the desk and, yawning, turned onto his back to lie down for a couple more minutes. Tomorrow he had to go to the university, but today was pure bliss – the Sunday morning was entirely his. He finally rolled out of the bed twenty minutes later and dressed unhurriedly. He could feel Ulquiorra moving downstairs, most likely in the kitchen. His sisters were absent, probably shopping or meeting friends or maybe both at once.
Too lazy to put on slippers, Ichigo jogged down the stairs only in socks, visited the bathroom then headed for the kitchen. He opened the door and stopped dead in his tracks, his right foot suspended in the air, his mouth open in astonishment.
There was a Hollow on the kitchen floor. It was quite large and obviously dead, small puddles of dark blood apparent under a few severed limbs. From the Hollow on the floor, Ichigo’s eyes rose to Ulquiorra, who was standing sideways to him, cooking something in a huge frying pan. Ichigo had never seen the portable stove the Arrancar was using either.
“Please tell me you aren’t making Hollow steak in my kitchen…”
Not certain what Ichigo had said, Ulquiorra turned to look at him. Since Ichigo didn’t repeat, he turned back to the stove and started turning over the large pieces of meat in the pan. They were crispy and smelled delicious.
“You’re…” Ichigo concluded himself. “You’re seriously making a Hollow steak… Are you freaking…” In complete bewilderment, Ichigo’s hands shot into the air as if he were physically trying to grasp the absurdity of the sight. Wordlessly, he waved his hands back and forth as if he were a tree hit by a storm. “Are you freaking insane?!” he finally yelled. “What the hell are you doing?!”
Ulquiorra was taken aback by Ichigo’s vehement reaction. He could barely hear the red-head but the shouting, red face in his vision was a plain sign that something had gone wrong. He watched Ichigo gallop towards the coffee table near the sofa and grab the notebook and pen off it. Ulquiorra turned away and picked up a small bottle of spices that he had borrowed from Ururu. He sprinkled the meat with them generously then turned the pieces over and sprinkled some more.
With the notebook in hand, Ichigo walked back to Ulquiorra and held it in front of the Arrancar’s face. Ulquiorra’s eyes flew past several questions and comments. He had never seen so many exclamation marks in one place before, but he couldn’t quite grasp why Ichigo was so angry. True, he had messed up the kitchen a bit, but that seemed to be the least of Ichigo’s concerns. Instead, the red-head was livid about… Confused, Ulquiorra read the sentences on the page again.
“Then where can I cook it?” he finally asked.
Ichigo stared at him for a few seconds and lowered the notebook. “That’s not the problem!” he growled. “You can’t cook it!”
The Arrancar gave him a baffled look. “Why not?”
“Arrgh! You just can’t!” Frustrated, Ichigo tossed the notebook onto the tabletop, not far away from the newly acquired stove. He could see that he was confusing Ulquiorra, and he had the feeling that Ulquiorra was going to ask him if he was supposed to eat the Hollow raw. With a groan, Ichigo put his hands on the tabletop and lowered his head, thinking. He could hear Ulquiorra moving around, turning the stove off, and getting the plates ready.
“Will you eat?”
Ichigo banged his forehead against the tabletop but closed his mouth before he could start yelling again. He shook his head. “No, thank you.” Breathing deeply, he forced himself to calm down.
“Where did you get all those things?” Ichigo asked a minute later.
Ulquiorra didn’t answer and Ichigo raised his head. The Arrancar hadn’t heard him, of course. He was sitting at the table, the plate with a large steak in front of him. He was cutting it into pieces already. There was no actual need to ask where he got all the utensils – Urahara Shop, probably from Ururu.
Ulquiorra started eating and Ichigo thought that this was obviously what Kisuke had meant when he told him not to worry about Ulquiorra’s meals. He shook his head.
ooOoOoOoo
There was something strange going on. Kisuke’s gaze slid from Ichigo to Ulquiorra. The two were behaving unusually. Ichigo seemed to be irritated and upset about something, while Ulquiorra had an air of confusion around him. Normally, Ichigo would have already brought up a problem.
“What happened?” Kisuke asked, curious.
Ichigo looked at the former captain and, noting that he seemed interested, pursed his lips stubbornly. He had intended to keep quiet, but since Kisuke had asked… “I come to the kitchen and, can you believe it, he,” Ichigo pointed to Ulquiorra, “has a Hollow there. The size of an elephant!”
A little concerned, Kisuke turned to Ulquiorra. “Mmm? He brought someone to your house? Was it a friend?”
“No!” Ichigo spat, irritated by Kisuke’s slowwitted question. “He was cooking it!”
“Ah.” Kisuke clapped his knee in relief. He started fanning himself. “He’s started hunting already. Very good.” His words made Ichigo look even more irritated. Kisuke wondered why it was such a big problem for him. “Did he break anything?” he asked.
“No,” Ichigo groaned. Kisuke’s reaction was very disappointing, but predictable, and he wondered why he’d even thought he would find some understanding in Kisuke. “He was cooking it! He also asked if I wanted to eat some. I think he was being serious.”
The former captain chuckled. “He probably was.” He closed his fan and sighed. “Ichigo, he’s a Hollow and he needs to eat, just like you need to eat. You eat pigs and cows, he eats other Hollows. It’s common sense. The only surprising thing about this,” he continued, “is that he wanted to share his meal with you. As I’ve said before, Hollows aren’t known to share their meals.”
“I’m not a Hollow,” Ulquiorra stated suddenly, growing weary of seeing “Hollow” again and again on their lips.
Kisuke gave him an amused look. He doubted Ulquiorra himself knew who he was anymore. He turned back to Ichigo, who was mulling over his words. “If you tell him not to eat other Hollows, he won’t understand.”
“I could at least tell him not to eat them in the house,” Ichigo muttered.
“Um…”
“Yeah, right, I can’t,” Ichigo grunted. “The sight of him barbecuing a Hollow in the garden would be even more disturbing.”
“If we’re talking about barbecues, I’ve got a very good barbecue grill,” Kisuke said excitedly. “It’s hardly ever been used. Only thirty thousand yen.”
Ichigo gave him a hard stare.
“Twenty-five, then?”
“What are you talking about?” Ulquiorra asked, intrigued by Ichigo’s unusual facial expressions.
Ichigo held out his hand for the notebook, then changed his mind and retracted it. The last thing he needed was for Ulquiorra to decide that he wanted a barbecue.
“Why didn’t the Hollow disappear after Ulquiorra killed it? They normally do when I kill them.”
The former captain nodded in agreement. “They disappear when killed with a Shinigami’s Zanpakuto. Ulquiorra doesn’t have one, though. So, how about that barbecue?”
“Just leave it!”
“Alright,” the former captain said when it was clear that Ichigo wasn’t going to buy anything from him. “Did you feel that strange reiatsu yesterday? I think it appeared soon after you’d left.”
Ichigo nodded. “Yeah, I thought that maybe it was you experimenting.”
“No, I thought you or Ulquiorra would know more about it. It disappeared very quickly and I didn’t have time to find out what or who it was.”
The red-head shrugged. He turned to Ulquiorra and wrote down the question for him. Ulquiorra didn’t know what it had been either.
“It did feel somewhat like a Fullbringer,” Ichigo muttered thoughtfully. The idea was unpleasant, disturbing even. He didn’t want to have anything to do with them.
Kisuke nodded. “That’s what I thought as well. It might, however, just be a Hollow with unusual reiatsu.”
With a grunt, Ichigo looked at Ulquiorra. In general, it sounded like Ulquiorra’s dessert was on the loose.
TBC
- 6
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The Heart in My Hand