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A Shadow of What Was	By : katami Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 49594 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Author's Notes: This one is for amcarche, who gave me a giggle and brought a smile to my week. Thank you. You helped get this unstuck in head and I figured you should know it. I hope you enjoy.

To everyone else who has read and reviewed, I'd like to thank you. I'm glad others are enjoying this labor of insanity.

*Kisuke pokes at the Muse* "I think that was a dig at us."

*Muse glares at Katami and cracks a whip* "Back to work!"

* * *

The Kuroskai family dinner was never dull, that was about all that could be said for it in Ichigo�s opinion. Then again, with three Shinigami, three normal humans, and his father (who really did rate a category all his own) what could anyone expect. He sometimes wondered what it would have been like to bring Urahara into that madness and decided his lover would have adored it; but then again, Kisuke thrived on insanity. The rest of his family might have been a little traumatized by Kiuske, but he would have been fine.

Karin met him and Hitsugaya at the door with a hug and a kiss on the cheek for him and a longer embrace with a peck on the lips for Hitsugaya. It had taken her awhile but at twenty-two she had blossomed, going from tomboyish and cute to lithe and sexy in the blink of an eye. It hadn�t mattered, she�d only had eyes for Hitsugaya by then and he had felt much the same, although it had taken him a few more years to admit it. She led them inside, her fingers laced with Hitsugaya�s and the young captain�s reiatsu wrapped around her like a blanket. Anyone who could sense reiatsu could read the warmth and affection wrapped around the her. Ichigo smiled faintly, a sad, wistful smile, wishing for Kisuke and the days when their reiatsu had done the same.

He had been given the less than envious task of telling his father that Rukia would be late. On the way over they had sensed a hollow and as the lowest ranking officer she was the one who got to deal with it. She had also tripped him and darted off before Hitsugaya could say a word. Ichigo decided he would edit that from the official version of events. His father jumped him three steps inside the door and both Karin and Hitsugaya turned to watch with amusement. He fought the old man off until Yuzu pleaded with them both to sit down and behave. A sharp glare from Karin enforced the plea and Hitsugaya only smiled amiably at them, an old hand at Kurosaki interactions, before being led into the kitchen by Karin.

He nodded a greeting to Yuzu�s husband, a nice enough, if rather dull accountant by the name of Jiro. Ichigo didn�t really see the appeal but the man seemed to make his little sister happy and had survived his father�s grilling so he was alright. He even managed to endure dealing with Shinigami in-laws since most of the 3rd, 5th, and 10th viewed his family as their family.

They were just sitting down to dinner when Benihime began wailing and Ichigo found himself on his feet and moving without a word; Hitsugaya at his elbow, unsure what was wrong but trusting his senses. He flashed ahead of the other man, fear for Kisuke spurring him on. Benihime only sang for Kisuke and the screaming, panicking quality of the song told him just how frantic she was.

He arrived to see Rukia standing over a fallen human boy, no hollow in sight. His heart eased as he saw that it was Kisuke on the ground, a little bloody but very much alive and in no imminent danger. He took a second to study the younger man, it had been ages since he�d last seen him and the years had wrought a number of changes. His hair was a little longer than Ichigo remembered, more like the slightly shaggy cut Urahara had favored, but it was still the same achingly familiar ash blonde. The face it framed was stripped of baby fat with cutting cheekbones and a jaw he could have traced in his sleep. There was no stubble on his cheeks but it was Kisuke. He was taller but had another few centimeters to go before he would settle into his true height. His shoulders were broad but he was still waiting to grow into them. There were no dark circles under those beautiful silver eyes, but the fear and pain in them was like a bolt through the heart for Ichigo. He would be seventeen now, very nearly eighteen, thought Ichigo, amazed with how very young he looked. This was his lover untouched by all the heartache he had seen, this was his Urahara who was once more innocent, washed free from the sins that had weighed him down.

He saw Rukia take a step toward the fallen young man and watched as Kisuke bolted in panic. �Wait!� he screamed at Rukia as she took a step to follow. She stumbled to a halt, glancing back at him with concern.

�Wait? Ichigo, that boy just killed a hollow! He used kidou and killed it!�

Kidou? Kisuke was using kidou? How? He pushed those concerns aside, he would deal with them later when he could talk to Benihime. �The boy is terrified, Rukia. If you chase him you�ll only get one of you hurt. Let him calm down. I�ll handle the situation myself later,� he said, trying to keep his tone casual, light, as if it was unimportant, but he saw her eyes widen in surprise and cursed himself silently.

�If he was using kidou it really is a matter for an officer, who better than a captain?�

�If you say so,� murmured Rukia, but he could read the consternation and puzzlement on her face.

�Come on, dad�s gonna pop a blood vessel if we don�t get back soon. Get your body and let�s go.�

�Everything alright?� asked Hitsugaya joining them, looking around for the hollow.

�Everything's fine. Rukia handled it, just a false alarm,� Ichigo told him. �Come on, we should get back.� Hitsugaya nodded but Rukia was frowning at him and the lie.

�Let me handle it,� he whispered, grabbing her arm and steering her towards her waiting body.

They walked back in silence and apologized for the abrupt departure, finishing dinner peacefully. With three Shinigami in attendance interruptions were hardly a new occurrence. The clean up was handled with the usual fuss of seven people trying to fit into their tiny kitchen and help, but eventually they managed it and retreated into the living room for family bonding, otherwise known as torture.

Ichigo sat quietly away from the festive insanity. This week it was Pictionary and if he ever found out who had brought it he would be killing them. He was sitting back quietly drinking sake, wondering how much longer he would have to stay before he could escape. He needed some time alone and a drink, several in fact. Something to wash away the pain that was griping his heart and numb his memory for a few blessedly sweet hours. That would have to wait though. He didn�t like to do his serious drinking in public, a habit he had picked up from Urahara.

He took another sip of his sake and tried not to think of Kisuke. Or the young man he'd seen earlier. The young man wasn�t his lover, might never be his lover, but all Ichigo wanted to do was tear after him and wipe away the shock and fear he had seen on that beautiful face.

�Are you sure he�s going to be alright?� he silently asked Benihime, worried over how terrified the younger Urahara had been laying there on the ground.

�He�s badly frightened. I think he has the captain�s instincts but none of the captain's memories, so he doesn�t understand where this violence comes from. We must let him calm down, let the captain realize that the danger is passed,� replied Benihime in her soft, musical voice. Ichigo could sense the tension in her, the same burning desire to go to Kisuke and comfort him.

�She�s right, we must wait,� murmured Zangetsu, offering his opinion to the exchange. �Without a captain�s control he is a danger to himself and others. As unbalanced as he is now, there is no telling what he might do if he felt threatened.�

Ichigo nodded and took another sip of his sake, he understood, he really did, that just did quell the need to comfort Kisuke.

'Is it alright that he's using kidou? A human shouldn't be able to use kidou, especially high level spells.'

'I believe that is the captain again. And it should be alright, being human simply means he'll be slower in recovering his spirit energy. As long as he doesn't do anymore high level spells tonight he should be fine,' offered Benihime.

�You�re family is growing concerned, Kurosaki-taichou,� growled Rukia, a false smile on her lips. She wasn�t happy with him for not letting her follow Kisuke and lying to Hitsugaya. He couldn�t have let her go though, Kisuke was too frightened. If she had caught him, he would have fought her and Ichigo knew that such a fight would have led to one of them being hurt or even killed. As for telling Hitsugaya, Kisuke was his responsibility, and the last thing he wanted was Soul Society or Aizen getting wind of him. Either one would be all to happy to use his brilliance without a single thought to the emotional consequences for Urahara. They had already done it once. He wasn't going to let them do it again.

�Just leave it, Rukia," he sighed, not in the mood to have her grouse at him when all he could think about were those terrified silver eyes. So like Urahara's eyes...

"I think I deserve an explanation, think I've earned one," she snarled at him softly, looking at him coolly in a way that she had to have learned from Byakuya.

Ichigo saw the hurt in her eyes and sighed, he did owe her more than he'd given her. Rukia was more than just his vice captain, she was his friend. "Not out here," he told her, standing and taking her arm, leading her quietly up to his old room. They settled on his bed and Ichigo offered her the sake. "You might need it," he warned her, with slight frown as she refused.

"Just tell me," she pressed gently.

Ichigo rolled Benihime up and down his thighs, wondering how to explain. "I couldn't let you go after him, Rukia. That boy...he's Urahara," he finally managed to get out, feeling the admission like a punch in the gut. He had never told anyone about the fate of Urahara's soul, never wanted to risk his love or pin too many of his own hopes on Urahara coming back. Hearing the words though, hearing the truth, Ichigo knew it was already to late for his heart. He had loved Urahara Kisuke nearly all his life, had waited twenty years for him to come back, his heart was tied up so completely he didn�t think he could ever cut himself free. Even if he had wanted to.

"That's not possible. Souls aren't reborn for...," she tapered off as Ichigo just cocked an eyebrow at her. When had rules ever applied to Urahara Kisuke? Rules were for mortal beings, not for his brilliant lover. Kisuke had flouted the rules every chance he got and sometimes just because he could.

"It's possible. Not allowed, but very possible. Benihime here confirms it. She can sense him. Or didn't anyone ever wonder why I carried her?" he asked with a small smile for the sword. He was the only man in Soul Society to carry two zanpakutou, even if he couldn't really fight with Benihime.

"Other Shinigami have lost lovers, they don't take up their lost companion's swords, Rukia. Usually when a Shinigami falls his zanpakutou falls with him. But Urahara died twenty years ago and Benihime is still here, because Kisuke wasn�t just a Shinigami anymore, he was human. Or human enough to enter the cycle of rebirth. Benihime knew that and stayed behind so she could find him again.

"That boy is Urahara Kisuke," he whispered, knowing his voice shook with emotions as he said the words but unable to help himself. Urahara had returned and all he could do was pray that the other man would return to him as well.
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A Shadow of What Was