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The Heart in My Hand	By : chayron Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 10028 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. It belongs to its respective owners. This fan fiction is not a commercial project, and I am not making any money from writing it.

Chapter List
- 1-Part 1
- 2-Part 2
- 3-Part 3
- 4-Part 4
- 5-Part 5
- 6-Part 6
- 7-Part 7
- 8-Part 8
- 9-Part 9
- 10-Part 10
- 11-Part 11
- 12-Part 12
- 13-Part 13
- 14-Part 14
- 15-Part 15
- 16-Part 16
- 17-Part 17
- 18-Part 18
- 19-Part 19
- 20-Part 20
- 21-Part 21
- 22-Part 22
- 23-Part 23
- 24-Part 24
- 25-Part 25
- 26-Part 26
- 27-Part 27
- 4
- 5
- 6
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach – it belongs to its respective owners. This fan fiction is not a commercial project, and I am not making any money from writing it.
Warnings:
1. Yaoi (male x male). Ulquiorra x Ichigo and vice versa. Other pairings?
2. Ichigo – almost 19 years old; Ulquiorra – probably a few hundred as a Hollow and about a decade or so as an Arrancar?
3. Post anime (haven’t read the manga).
4. Alternate Universe.
5. I’m not a native speaker, thus expect various language oddities.
6. I’m not very familiar with all the details in the anime, and I am also new to Bleach fandom, so I will be straying away from the canon quite frequently. I do my research but Bleach is a vast universe that is not so easy to grasp. I must admit, though, that there are also things in the anime that don’t make sense to me and I take the liberty of recreating certain parts of this universe as I see fit.
The Heart in My Hand
by chayron (lttomb@yahoo.com), beta-read by Ash
Part 5
Ichigo shoveled a spoon of tea leaves into each cup and added sugar. Waiting for the kettle to boil, he glanced at the table, where three other people were seated. Ulquiorra was sitting quietly, looking at Orihime, who was shouting at him, asking him about his health. It didn’t seem he was keen on talking much. Kon looked rather bewildered about the situation. Ichigo could tell he regretted bringing Orihime here.
“He can’t hear you,” Ichigo said.
“Are you eating properly?” she shouted even louder, making Kon cover his ears.
“No, he can’t hear you,” Ichigo tried again. “As in he’s deaf. Just use that notebook to talk to him.”
Shocked, Orihime turned to Ichigo. “Why is he deaf? He wasn’t deaf last time I saw him.”
“It’s…a bit complicated,” Ichigo said. He didn’t want to get her any more involved than she already was. He was going to strangle Kon later.
“Is he eating properly? He’s very frail. It’s like there’s only half of him left.”
“We’re working on that,” Ichigo assured her.
“Oh, I know!” she said, turning back to Ulquiorra to give the Arrancar a bright smile. “I’ll bring you some food from my part-time job every day! It’s only buns and breads, but they’re very nutritious and tasty.”
“Umm, he can’t really…”
“And milk! You have to drink milk every day. It’s full of proteins, very good for you.”
Seeing how Ulquiorra just kept staring at her wordlessly, Orihime grabbed the notebook and started writing quickly. Ichigo and Kon exchanged looks over her bent head. ‘Do something!’ Kon mouthed. Ichigo shrugged. She was going to smother Ulquiorra with care and concern. She was good at that.
He brought the tea to the table, put one cup in front of Kon, the other in front of Orihime and sat down. He watched Ulquiorra read her handwriting, his facial expression never changing. Ichigo was a little surprised – he had expected Ulquiorra to show more reaction to Orihime’s presence. He had been under the impression that something had clicked between them right before his death. Something important, but he didn’t understand what it had been.
“Oh, right!” Orihime said enthusiastically. “I’ve got some vitamins.” She grabbed her handbag off the chair and started digging around in it.
From personal experience, Ichigo knew that Orihime’s handbag was in the same family branch as black holes and that this was going to take a while. He nudged Kon in the side and told him to drink his tea to warm up. He had warned Kon to take an umbrella before leaving the house, but the Modified Soul had still managed to forget it. He had already changed out of his wet clothes but his hair was still damp. The last thing Ichigo needed was for his body to catch a cold.
Orihime wasn’t having much luck with her black hole and hung it back onto the back of the chair. Then her face lit up with realization and she jumped to her feet. She rushed out of the kitchen and into the corridor. Slowly, Ulquiorra pushed the notebook away from himself.
“Just nod a lot,” Ichigo suggested, nodding his head repeatedly to illustrate. “That usually helps.”
Kon sniggered. “Well, now I can see why you two didn’t last long.”
“Longer than you anyway,” Ichigo said with a snort. “And give my freaking body back! You’re going to give it a cold!”
“No way! We’re still on a date!” Kon protested harshly.
“The hell you are. Look how she’s…” he trailed off at the sight of Orihime reentering the kitchen. She was carrying a small varicolored bottle.
“I had them in my raincoat all along,” she said, walking over to the table quickly. With a sheepish smile, she held out the bottle for Ulquiorra.
The Arrancar reached out for the bottle but then something strange happened to Orihime’s steps. Her right foot slipped, her body lurching sideways and the next thing Ulquiorra knew he was being knocked out of the chair and then he was airborne. He huffed loudly when his back hit the floor, Orihime landing on top of him. The vitamin bottle exploded on his shoulder, spilling varicolored pills in all directions.
Kon was staring at them on the floor, his teacup frozen in the air, his mouth open. Ulquiorra didn’t dare move, his face having been swallowed by two huge lulling mounds. Kon felt he was about to explode with jealousy. Miracles like this only happened once in a lifetime.
Orihime scrambled off the Arrancar quickly. “I’m so sorry!” she apologized at once. “Are you okay? I think I tripped over something.” She looked around to see what had been the cause and saw the floor was wet near Kon’s chair. It must be from his hair. “I’m so sorry,” she repeated.
Ulquiorra watched her gathering the scattered pills off the floor and bent down to help. He picked up a few pills and inspected them curiously. They were shaped in various forms, mostly like some kinds of animals.
“It’s alright. It’s alright, really,” Ulquiorra muttered when Orihime didn’t stop apologizing for a few minutes. “It’s not easy to keep balance with such big…feet, I’d imagine.”
Orihime blushed. “Yes, I’m sorry.”
Kon looked at Ichigo, who seemed to have choked on something. The red-head was coughing and laughing at the same time. “If he’s trying to flirt with her, he’s got the artistic flair of a blindfolded giraffe on morphine,” Kon spat. He glared at Ichigo, who bent over the table in renewed spasms of laughter. “This is not funny! He’s flirting with my girlfriend!”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Ichigo laughed. He pointed at the notebook in the middle of the table. “Feel free to write a letter of complaint to him.”
Kon grabbed the notebook and the pen. Angry characters, words, and sentences quickly formed on the page. His enthusiasm lessened somewhat when Ulquiorra and Orihime were done picking up the vitamins and had returned to sit at the table. Orihime poured the pills she had gathered in front of Ulquiorra and the Arrancar nodded quickly. With a roll of his eyes, Kon tore the page out and slapped it on the hill of pills. Ulquiorra took it, read, then, giving Kon a stare that could make mountains shiver, crumpled the paper in his fist.
Ichigo’s eyes followed the paper ball’s elegant arch into the sink. Orihime celebrated the accurate throw with an excited applause. Ichigo lowered his eyes to stare at Kon’s mug but burst out laughing anyway.

“Do you have an empty bottle to put the pills in?” Orihime asked.
“I’ll take a look,” Ichigo said, grateful for an excuse to leave the table before he could make an ass of himself. He went to search through the cupboards and the sideboard. While busying himself, he could hear Orihime and Kon talking. The Modified Soul was explaining to her how Ulquiorra appeared in his house. Kon kept quiet about a lot of things; he never mentioned Mayuri, but Ichigo had already planned to put him into the washing-machine and set it for the longest and most thorough wash cycle there was and nothing was going to change his mind.
When Ichigo returned to the table, he saw that Ulquiorra had kept himself busy as well: three squads of yellow lions, green crocodiles, and brown monkeys had formed in front of him. He was still working on the cats, separating them from the rest of varicolored pills. Ichigo put the small tin he had found in front of Ulquiorra and sat down.
“I’m going away for the weekend but I’ll visit again on Monday,” Orihime informed them. “And Ulquiorra needs to exercise to put on a little more muscle mass.”
“That’s awesome!” Kon chirped excitedly. “You can visit any time!”
“Well, of course,” Ichigo said with a nod. He was mostly interested in the grand battle Ulquiorra was having on the table. It seemed like the cats were winning against the lions. Then a squad of crocodiles swept into the battlefield. The cats fled.
They talked about this and that then, about half an hour later, the rain let up and, using the opportunity, Kon and Orihime decided to leave and continue with their date.
“It’ll be different when he can finally hear,” she was saying while putting her shoes on in the corridor.
“Yeah,” Ichigo agreed. “In a week or so.” He watched her buckle them up. Those were the shoes he had bought for her seventeenth birthday. They looked a little worn already but she was still wearing them. He felt nostalgic all of a sudden. Then, Kon helped her put on her raincoat and, with a quick goodbye, they left.
Ichigo closed the door after them and, feeling somewhat lost, stared at it. A few moments later, he turned around and went to the kitchen. Ulquiorra had swept the vitamins off the table and was pouring them into the tin. Ichigo walked over to the table, took the notebook, and asked who won.
“The crocodiles apparently,” Ulquiorra said with an amused grunt. “They were far better organized than the lions.” He put the lid over the tin and pushed it into Ichigo’s hands. “But that may also be because I like green better than yellow.”
ooOoOoOoo
It was pouring again, but since the two of them were spiritual beings, the rain didn’t bother them. It washed over them but didn’t stick to either their clothes or bodies. It was just more difficult to see through the white sheen of it.
Ichigo glanced at Ulquiorra, who was following him. It was obvious that the Arrancar knew the way already, flitting from one rooftop to another effortlessly. It was very likely that he had known the way even before coming to the Human World. As Aizen’s subordinate he had probably been informed where Kisuke Urahara lived.
What Ichigo found peculiar was that Ulquiorra didn’t have his Zanpakuto anymore. It had disappeared yesterday after unsuccessfully exploring the bathroom and had been gone ever since.
It had only been two days yet it seemed as if so much had happened during them. He felt a little overwhelmed. No, “a little” was an understatement. He had even promised to help Ulquiorra retrieve the horn from Mayuri. He had probably gotten ahead of himself but they had to stop him. What Mayuri had done to Ulquiorra should never be done to any living and reasoning thing. The problem was how to prevent Ulquiorra from trying to kill Mayuri.
Deep in his thoughts, Ichigo didn’t even notice when he landed outside Urahara’s Shop. Surprised, he looked at the door, then heard the soft sound of Ulquiorra landing a few steps behind him. The red-head pushed the door open and the chime made a loud clear sound, announcing their visit. Ichigo greeted Ururu at the counter then asked where Kisuke was.
“In the living room,” she said with a glance at Ulquiorra. She blushed lightly remembering yesterday. The incident had finally pushed Jinta into confessing to her. Red-faced, he had mumbled and stammered a lot but the final result was that they were going out now. She had baked a cake for Ulquiorra in thanks.
Unaware of her grateful eyes and happy thoughts, Ichigo and Ulquiorra walked past rows of showcases with various items and headed for the living room. The red-head opened the door and something black slipped through it and between his legs. The next moment, Ulquiorra’s reiatsu engulfed him. Ichigo turned his head to see Ulquiorra’s greenish Zanpakuto appear in his hand, already drawn. The red-head grabbed the Arrancar’s wrist and pushed it down. Kisuke’s reiatsu rose in response to Ulquiorra’s and he appeared in the doorway too, his Benihime ready. While Ichigo’s right hand was gripping Zangetsu’s hilt behind his back, he realized that he needed a third hand, because Ulquiorra was now forming a Cero. The shop was about to undergo a massive overhaul.
“Argh, stop it, everyone!” Ichigo growled. He turned to Ulquiorra. “Stop it!”
“I was just about to leave,” Yoruichi said to Ulquiorra. “There’s no need to be so rude.”
“He can’t hear you,” Ichigo said automatically. “And you’re a cat; I don’t think he can read your lips.” As soon as he had said that, he regretted it. He waited for a loud booming sound but none came. Yoruichi kept her form as a cat and just sat on her hind legs, staring at Ulquiorra fixedly.
“Anyone else feels like an idiot?” Ichigo asked a few moments later. “How about we disarm?”
“How about you tell that to your buddy?” Kisuke asked. “He’s got a Cero aimed at my head.”
“Well, you’ve got Benihime aimed at his neck,” Ichigo pointed out. “And he’s not my buddy.”
“Tell him to disperse his Cero.”
Ichigo glanced at Ulquiorra but the Arrancar’s grim face showed that it was unlikely he was in the mood to listen. The red-head was quite surprised that Ulquiorra wasn’t trying to shake his hand off his wrist and free his Zanpakuto.
“Okay, how about all of us disarm at the count of three?” Ichigo suggested.
“Sounds good to me,” Kisuke agreed. He watched Ichigo let go of Zangetsu and show three fingers to Ulquiorra, then motion with his hand at himself, Ulquiorra, and him. Ichigo didn’t seem to realize that he had already let go of his Zanpakuto.
“Okay,” Ichigo said, turning back to Kisuke. “One, two, three!” He gave an accusing look to Kisuke. “You didn’t let go.”
“Well, neither did he.”
“Alright,” Yoruichi said, moving forward. “As amusing as this is to watch, I am in a bit of a hurry.” She whisked between Ulquiorra’s feet and minced down the corridor with her tail high in the air.
Ulquiorra watched her go and the Cero in his hand started diminishing. He turned to Kisuke and looked at him questioningly since Benihime was still at his throat. The former captain nodded and moved his Zanpakuto away.
“Will she tell them?” Ichigo asked, letting go of Ulquiorra’s wrist. The greenish Zanpakuto disappeared. It seemed that the Arrancar had only been wary of Yoruichi. Ichigo was impressed by how well Ulquiorra could differentiate amongst various energy sources. First time he had seen Yoruichi as a cat, and he didn’t even think there was anything special about it.
“She won’t,” Kisuke said, walking back into the living room. He motioned for Ulquiorra and Ichigo to sit down at the table. “That was just a friendly visit.”
After walking into the room, Ichigo was astonished by the change – instead of commonly scattered papers everywhere on the floor, there were now five neat stacks of paper along the wall. There wasn’t a speck of dust on the floor; even a small potted plant had been placed in the corner near the door. This phenomenon occurred only when Yoruichi paid Kisuke a visit. It was quite funny how he tried to make a good impression on her. They had been acquainted for so long that Ichigo doubted anything about Kisuke could impress or disappoint her anymore. Still, he made the effort, which was cute, actually.
“Orihime already knows about Ulquiorra,” Ichigo said after all of them sat down at the table. “Which, in turn, means that the rest of our friends do as well. I expect Ishida to knock at my door in an hour or two. At this rate, Soul Society will know in a few days.”
“Not necessarily,” Kisuke said. He took out his fan from his pocket and started fanning himself distractedly. “They can keep a secret from Soul Society. It’s not the first time.” Kisuke’s hand faltered at Ichigo’s wide eyes that were growing bigger by the second. He followed the red-head’s fixed look to his fan and spotted the cause of the reaction. “Oh.”
Ichigo watched the former captain take the skimpy panties off the fan and put them into his pocket.
“Sorry about that,” Kisuke said, continuing to fan himself. “So what were we talking… Oh, I see you found the rest of them,” he said at the sight of Ulquiorra pulling out a bra out from under the table. The Arrancar held it by the end and inspected the laces. From across the table Kisuke reached out for the garment. “Thank you very much. Now if you don’t mind…”
“Are they Yoruichi’s?” Ichigo wondered, watching the bra exchange hands.
“Well, of course they are.”
“There is more under the table,” Ulquiorra informed them.
“Leave it there,” Kisuke told him, storing the bra under the table again. “She’ll come back later to get them.”
“You should have just told us you were busy,” Ichigo said, his cheeks turning slightly pink. “It’s not like there’s an emergency; we could’ve waited.”
“I think you misunderstood something,” Kisuke said. “She always leaves her clothes here when she’s in that form.”
“Ah,” Ichigo said. He opened his mouth again but then closed it; the mystery of Yoruichi’s underwear in Kisuke’s pocket was better left unsolved. He cleared his throat. “We’ve come for more food. Actually, if you gave him more of it, we wouldn’t need to come here every day and bother you.”
“That’s true,” Kisuke agreed. “But then I wouldn’t be able to keep an eye on you two.”
“Ah.”
Kisuke left the room and returned a few minutes later with two boxes in his hands. One was the usual lunch box, the other slightly bigger. He put them on the table in front of Ulquiorra. With a thanks, Ulquiorra took the bigger box and opened it. It was a cake. There was also a short note on top of it.
“A cake?” Ichigo wondered.
“Yes, it’s a special thanks from Ururu,” Kisuke said. “Just ask her,” he said when Ichigo gave him an incredulous look as if wondering if he should also barge into the bathroom while she was taking a shower. Jinta had recently been a pain and Kisuke didn’t want to go into details. “So any news?” he asked instead.
Ichigo let out a melodramatic sigh. “Well, he knows he’s a clone. Doesn’t really bother him. Actually, he’s not easily bothered in general.”
“Very good,” Kisuke said cheerfully. “The last thing we need is an Arrancar with an identity crisis.”
Ichigo watched Ulquiorra put away the note after reading it and take the knife and fork that were inside the box with the cake. He considered telling Kisuke about Ulquiorra’s intentions concerning Mayuri but decided against it – there was no telling what his reaction would be.
“Why is his Zanpakuto gone?” the red-head wondered. “How can it be gone?”
“Well, it’s not exactly a Zanpakuto. It works differently with Arrancars than with Shinigamis. For us, a Zanpakuto is the power source itself, for Arrancars it is the opposite. For them, a Zanpakuto is only a tool to store their residual energy. When the need arises they release the seal on their Zanpakuto and use the energy stored in it for their transformations.”
“I see,” Ichigo said after having mulled over the fact for a few moments. “Then, since he doesn’t have a lot of residual energy, he decided not to bother.”
“Precisely.”
“It is very good.”
Ichigo and Kisuke turned to Ulquiorra. The Arrancar had a blissful expression on his face and was obviously enjoying the cake. Ichigo reached out for the fork in Ulquiorra’s hand, and Kisuke tensed. There was, however, barely a reaction from Ulquiorra when the red-head took the fork and scooped up some cake to try it.
“How did she even make it?” Ichigo wondered, humming around it. Giving a thumbs-up, he passed the fork back to Ulquiorra. “It tastes like her usual cakes. What?” he asked, seeing the look on Kisuke’s face.
“Hollows don’t usually share their meals easily. I was waiting for him to gauge your eye out with that fork.”
“Why would he? He told us it was tasty so he obviously wanted to share. And besides,” Ichigo added, shaking his head, “he isn’t so petty as to fight over a cake.”
Thoughtfully, Kisuke lowered his chin on top of his fan. That was what made Ichigo who he was. He accepted others naturally and without prejudice. He was wary of course, but he always gave the other a chance.
“Is there anything else he told you?” Kisuke asked.
“Well, I didn’t ask him about what Mayuri did to him if that’s what you want to know; I don’t think he’d want to talk about it. I questioned him about his life as a Hollow, but…” Ichigo chuckled. “He actually told me he was a tree.”
Kisuke nodded at the red-head’s dubious face. “Yes, he was. For about a century.”
“Seriously?”
“Well, why would he lie about that?”
“It’s not that I thought he lied but… It’s not something I hear every day. By the way, how do you know he really was a tree?”
“From Aizen’s records.” Kisuke motioned at the currently clean floor around them. “It just took me a while to find them. He has records on every Arrancar he has ever created.” Kisuke hid his mouth behind the fan, his mischievous eyes glinting. “I took the liberty of taking a peek at them and making copies when Aizen was wreaking havoc.”
“Hmm…” Ichigo hummed. You could trust Kisuke to make use of any situation. “Is there anything about his Human life? Did he even have one?”
Kisuke nodded. “Yes, he was a Human about two hundred years ago.”
Ichigo perked up. “Oh? So what caused him to become a Hollow?”
Kisuke fanned himself slowly. “He killed his wife.”
Ichigo frowned and leaned closer over the table, thinking he had misheard. “Come again?”
“He shot his wife,” Kisuke repeated monotonously. “Caught her cheating on him with their neighbor. He tried to kill the neighbor, too, but since he was drunk and his aim wasn’t so good, the neighbor managed to escape and barricade himself in his house. Later, after realizing what he had done, he hanged himself in their barn. Plagued by the guilt and remorse, he couldn’t leave the Living World, and this caused him to turn into a Hollow. A few years later he finally left for Hueco Mundo.”
The red-head stared at Kisuke with his mouth hanging open. “Eh,” he finally squeaked when the whole story had sunk in. From the corner of his eye, he glanced at Ulquiorra, who was peacefully enjoying his cake. He found it hard to believe that Ulquiorra could be driven to such extremities by jealousy like that. He never gave the impression.
The intent gaze made Ulquiorra raise his head and meet Ichigo’s eyes. The Arrancar must have read something in that stare because he pulled out a notebook and a pen from his pocket and pushed it over the table to Ichigo.
“What is it?”
Ichigo shook his head and pushed the notebook away. “Later.” Ulquiorra gave him a discontent look but said nothing. He turned his attention back to his cake.
“Did they have any children?” Ichigo asked.
Kisuke shrugged. “The records don’t say anything about them, so probably not.”
“He told me he doesn’t remember anything.”
“He doesn’t,” Kisuke confirmed. “None of them do - it’s like becoming a clean slate. Once they turn into Hollows, they forget their Human lives completely.”
“So he doesn’t know,” Ichigo stated.
The former captain shrugged. “He does if Aizen told him. There are also his and his wife’s names, but I don’t think they would mean anything to him. Even if he was told... For him this is just some story he has no recollection of. It’s doubtful he would have even believed Aizen.”
They watched Ulquiorra push aside the half-eaten cake and open the lunch box. He obviously wanted a break from sweetness. Kisuke folded his fan and lowered it to his lap. Recently his days had become busy with the visits from Yoruichi and Ichigo. Jinta and Ururu had also been a handful. Maybe it was alright, though, since his days were usually dull.
“So have you asked him what he intends to do about Mayuri?”
Ichigo scratched the back of his head urgently. “Ahh… Well, he doesn’t like him much.”
“I’d be surprised if he did.”
“Umm…” Ichigo drawled uncertainly. “I think you’d better ask him yourself.”
Amused, Kisuke took the notebook from the table and, after writing down the question, pushed it over to Ulquiorra. The Arrancar read it, glanced at Ichigo then looked at Kisuke again. He picked the notebook off the table and, wordlessly, stored it back in his pocket. As an afterthought, Ulquiorra also reached out for the pen and put it in his other pocket.
Kisuke waited for a few moments but it became obvious that the Arrancar didn’t even consider answering. The former captain chuckled. “Well, that’s as good an answer as any. And to think that I’ve been so courteous… Giving food and everything…”
“I think the word is ‘curious’ not ‘courteous’,” Ichigo corrected him. He rolled his eyes as Kisuke gave him an overly insulted look and covered the lower half of his face with his fan.
TBC
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The Heart in My Hand