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Tortured Soul	By : Lord_Xusecer Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male > Renji/Ichigo Views: 3064 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own bleach or any of it contents. I do not profit from it or make any money in any way, shape or from.

Chapter List
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Chapter 4

Damn that bastard, how dare he I thought as I rushed into the bathroom. I was nearly in tears by that time. All that ran through my mind was the thought of my father ripping my shirt off to cut me again. I saw the handcuffs and I couldn't take it, I knew it was Renji but still all I saw was the knife and the handcuffs. I hit the door to the bathroom door with all my might and I heard it snap back and hit the wall with a bang. The door shut and checked the bathroom to see if there was anyone around. Lucky it was empty so I went and locked the door. The next thing I knew was that I was sliding to the floor in front of the door sobbing. The blood was all over me now and I didn't care I just took the shirt off and threw to the floor. All that ran through my mind was that he punched me, and that alone was enough to start visions of my father. All I heard was my father calling me a dirty whore. He would tell me that before he would punish me or come into my room to torture me. If he was really on the JD rape me. I felt the knife all over again gashing through my collar-bone, and it made them hurt worse. The thoughts were every vivid, as I heard him say that I needed to taught how to be a good faggot. Again that word rang harshly in my mind as I started to believe him.

It replayed over and over in my mind the word faggot. 'You are nothing but a faggot, a dirty whoring faggot' is what I heard him say. I lowered my head to the floor and cried. This was not a good day, and I knew that I would not make it through the day; if I had to see Renji or Rukia again. So I stood up and turned the facet to the sink on and grabbed some paper towels from the dispenser and wet them. It burned like really fucking bad as I cleaned the blood up and tried to get the wounds to stop bleeding. This was usual for my father. He cut deep enough so the wound wouldn't stop bleeding, but not deep enough to need stitches. It was enough that the pain would radiate until it started to heal. I finally got it to stop bleeding as I drug out the gauzes from my backpack and proceeded to cover and re-tape them. Then I drug out one of the extra shirts I brought from home and put it on.

I sighed as I checked the sink and floor to make sure there was not blood anywhere. I then grabbed the shirt I threw to side when came in. Luckily there wasn't any blood anywhere as unlocked the door and took a deep breath. I knew I couldn't go home, I knew he would be waiting for me. I had no idea if he finished what he was doing when he left the in the morning. I just took a deep breath as I exited the bathroom and tried to make to my home room before it was too much later, as the halls filled with people filing to home room. Thank god I thought Renji was not in my home room, nor was Rukia. I entered just as the bell rang and took my seat which was in the back, and waited for roll call.

The teacher bluntly screamed out names without any emotion. I heard name after name being called, until she called my name. At first I didn't hear her; I was still in my little world replaying again what happened this morning. "Ichigo Kurosaki" I heard her call again as I brought me back out into reality. I answered her this time, as everyone now was staring. This wasn't unusual at all this was a frequent thing that happened, and everyone was just getting tired of it. If they knew what was going on than they would understand it. They don't so they stare. Like staring is just going to fix it, pft yeah right. I just sat there and waited. They was no talking to anyone for me, I was in the back scowling like I usually do. I developed this so I wouldn't have to deal with society. It was hard enough dealing with my father, and going this by myself was preferable than the alternative.

I heard the bell ring and I set off to my first period class. Which was not one I preferred so I just decided to sit through it and not pay attention? It doesn't hurt my grades to not pay attention, because I will just read it later. Ha I thought as I sat and waited for the bell again in my own little world.

~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~

It was nearing my 4th period class and I was regretting it. This is the period I have with Renji. I wanted desperately to skip it, but I knew I couldn't, because if I got in trouble for skipping a class that was just more reason for my father to inflict more pain on me. I walked in and placed my head down as I silently walked over to my corner seat on the right of the room. Renji was already present and sitting near the middle of the first row near the door. I just tried to ignore him but I could… I knew he looked directly at me but I tried to shrug it off and ignore him. I made it without incident to my seat in the back corner.

I Just sat there looking at my desk, this was normal for me since I started my junior year. Everyone including Tatsuki learned to ignore me and go about their daily gossip. Everyone that is expect Renji who was literally burning wholes through me just starting at me. But man he was hot doing it, there I go again damn it. How many times do I have to tell myself that I'm not gay, or am I? Those thoughts ran through my head again. I hated this; because overtime I look at him it triggers those damn thoughts. Maybe I was because I liked him, that's why I was always looking at him. No, No! I don't he's a man, I only have sex with men because my father makes me, sells me to them.

I don't really know anymore I am horribly confused and just want this day to end, as it was torturous today. I can't think straight too much has happened to fast. I am still stuck on last night, spending the seven hours in the basement being tortured to cum when I couldn't. The feeling is still there, and it hurts. The marks are still on my wrists as I can still feel the ropes around my hands and the dick still in my ass.

I groaned as my head hit to the desk. This was normal to, normal just about every day every period. No one even cared anymore. Maybe it was because I always told then to mind their own fucking business. I never shared my feeling with anyone, because it would only hurt me more. If I told a soul about what was happening to me, what my father was doing to me, he would literally kill me. I have said this once before, I know I have, but the sad part is I cannot recall if I had at this point. I hate this lost feeling, not being able to remember what I said or did. He rules my life and now my head. I have no freedom no hope it goes downhill for here. I cannot remember anything after that point. Except the bell that singled the end of yet another school day.

The bell for the morning class seemed like it just rang five seconds ago, and now the bell for 3:00 P.M. dismissal had rung. Great I though as I got my stuff from my locker, and now I have to deal with my father. He wanted me down at the distributor to load the alcohol he bought in his truck. This was the longest walk of my day. The Booze Store is what I called the distributor, which was on the other side of town near the exit of the town that led to Clearwater Providence. This I mean was going be a major pain in my ass. I hated these trips down to the Booze Store. All he ever bought was the booze that made him meaner than the rest of them. I already knew what I was going to load cases of JD, Vodka, and Tequila. At least he tolerable when he on the vodka, and somewhat bearable when he on the tequila. When he hit the JD which was pretty much every day, he turned into that monster.

Great I though everyone is there waiting for me, everyone except Renji which I though was odd. Where is he, was he already gone trying to avoid me. God I hope not. I mean I may not want him around me, but I did want to look at him from a distance. He was fucking hot with all those gorgeous tattoo that lined his body. Shit, did I just blurt that out fuck! Damn it Ichigo I scolded. You don't like guys; try to hold on to that straightness even though it feels it has left five years ago. I was still trying to convince myself, hell I was trying for a lost cause. My father made sure it was a lost cause but it doesn't matter.

I just walked past them trying to ignore them. But that didn't stop the angry look feeling I got I knew it was Rukia. It doesn't matter I just padded on trying with all my will not to even look back, which I must admit was hard to do. I knew I was hurting them even more but what was I going to do. It was not like I wanted tortured more than what was already been done to me. I need to make it to the booze store. I need to make it there to load the truck. If I didn't he would let me have it. I was ready off the hook for the throwing the first set away, and If screw this up I think I wouldn't be able to walk tomorrow or worse be on the brink of death.

~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~

I finally made it to the booze store. The owner knew it was me. He let me in even though the stores closed. I think he knows what happens when you defy my father. I saw my father's truck parked there he must have gotten a ride to somewhere else because he wasn't there. The owner retreated to the back and told me to lock the door when I was done. Well this was wonderful, thirty cases of each kind lined up with a piece of paper marked Kurosaki. Great that alone was at least half of the thousand kan if not more. If I know my father he threatens him to get a deal, so I knew he paid less than the actual retail price.

I started to load the truck and I felt like someone was watching me I looked around and saw no one. I hate that feeling when you think someone is watching you, but you actually see if there is someone there, there is no one around. After about fifteen minutes give or take, I only looked down at my watch twice, and I had half of it done. That when father showed up he looks at me and winked as I continued. He must been with the progress is all that I can think of for the reason he winked. It was only fifteen more minutes later that I finished. This is what I assumed; it was only an estimated fifteen minutes for the first half. Wishful thinking probably, that is when I finished loading the truck, and he came around.

"Good, I'll not be home you hear so take care of your sisters. And if I hear that you did something wrong you will get it you understand!" my father said as he took off with the truck and left to god knows where. At least it will be a week or so before he comes back broke and trashed to the bone. That means that I get a break or so I thought. I started walking home and that feeling of someone following me doubled in intensity.

I'm scared, because I was starting to get this dreading feeling that something bad was going to happen. I walked a little faster and the feeling seemed to back off a while. When I reach Highland Street I looked back. That dreading feeling seemed to weaken in intensity but I was still there. It never exactly left when I left school, or when I traveled down here. I turned around and looked around, but again I didn't see anyone or hear anything. When I turned around to continue on what I was doing, that it when I felt some grab me and place something on my face. It had a horrible smell, and I started to feel a little light-headed. That is when I fainted.

A/N: 7/16/12:

Again I just want to thank all the readers that took the time to read this. Oh, and let's not forget the commenters that commented too. You're what keeps me wanting to continue this story.

OK poor Ichigo I know. But I promise that it will get better after a few more incidents. Just to let you know I do really feel bad for him, but this and the later incidents will make it better, and it will help start the relationship. So I guess just hold on a little longer and thank you for sticking with me. LDX :)

I am in need of a beta for this story, if you are intrested please leave me a review stating you are. All I ask is that your opened minded and not a hater of the M/M Genre. I will try to get back to you in the forums if that is possible. Any and all help will be appreciated, thank you.

Edited 8/02/12:

Fixed some spelling errors and corrected grammar mistakes. Most of the errors are fixed so enjoy.

A/N: 7/28/12:

OK so make sure to check out the news section of my profile if you want to keep up with what is happening or going to happen. Also that is where to check to see if the story you're interested in is on break or not. Anyways thanks again, and keep those Reviews rolling. LDX :)
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Tortured Soul