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For The Love of a Friend	By : orionshadow Category: Bleach > Het - Male/Female Views: 32416 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Tite Kubo owns Bleach and the characters depicted therein.   The characters in this story are not mine, except for the original characters. I make no money from the publication of this work.

The Lover of a Friend
At least the moon wasn't full. Why was he thinking like that? The moon was unimportant. People said it was romantic to walk in the moonlight but he didn't see why.   You tripped over things or accidentally trod on something. He stopped walking and stared at the object in the sky. Part of it was white and curved. That was all. Not romantic in the least. It provided some light when it was large enough and not obscured by clouds but it was simply in the sky, visible from the surface on which he stood.

He had sat under that same moon only a short time ago with Soi and they had talked and spent time together, nearly appearing to be friends. The thought made him scowl. Dropping his eyes from the celestial body above him, he began walking again. Soi was no longer his concern. Everything between them was over because the moon was more likely to make romantic overtures toward him than Soi. Both the moon and Soi were cold, distant, white, secretive and above him. Damn it. Why was he still thinking about her? She'd made her decision about her life and he wasn't to be part of it. He had to accept that and move on.

Walking as fast as he could without running he sped through the streets until he arrived at Shunsui's quarters. The light within indicated he was still awake and Toshiro knocked before he thought about it too much. He heard something drop which may have been a body or a bottle and after a few seconds, the sound of shuffling, unsteady feet was audible. The door opened and the face that looked out almost reflected how he felt. Red cheeks, puffy eyes and more stubble than usual featured prominently on Shunsui's face. He frowned.

"'Shiro? What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?" he replied. He could smell the sake wafting from the room and the man and the smell reminded him of forgetfulness which appealed to him. He wanted sake, the forgetfulness, and even the hangover. A few cups might make him sleep or at least dim the thoughts he was experiencing and the emotions, which refused to subside. The hangover would be a lesser pain than the one he was trying to ignore and might make him think of ways to cure it than Soi.

Shunsui swayed a little, and then nodded owlishly. "Shure. Come in and have a drink. I mean you can only come in if you have a drink." Shunsui stepped away from the door and shuffled back inside

Toshiro followed noticing the empty sake bottles, which littered the floor. The air of the room smelt stale, almost as if Shunsui had been there for more than a day without interruption.

"Have a seat? Want some sake? I stocked up yesterday? The day before? I forget but it doesn't matter. Nothing matters. That's right. You can only stay if you drink. Drink, Shiro." His words were slurred as he slumped down onto a chair grabbing a half empty bottle of sake. He bore some resemblance to the man Toshiro knew but his clothing showing evidence of spill and stains and his hair looked lank and unkempt under the hat which was tilted to the left, barely remaining on his head. Even though he couldn't work out when or why he'd upset Soi, he could tell that not all was well with Shunsui.

Instead of asking questions, he sat and grabbed the closest unopened bottle. There weren't going to be any niceties like warming the sake before drinking it, or pouring it for each other as was the usual practice. This was not drinking to socialise but to obliterate thought and emotion. Twisting the cap off, he gulped his first mouthful, feeling the liquid slide down his throat. It burnt a little. The welcoming warmth of the drink as it slipped down his throat and into his stomach appealed to him more than he had anticipated in spite of the burn.

Until now, he didn't notice how dry his throat had become during his conversation with Soi. He snorted at the thought. He never had a 'conversation' with Soi. It was usually accusations hurled at each other with his tongue saying all the things certain to annoy her and embarrass him. She never gave him a chance to explain, withdrawing into her cold persona that shut him out while making him aware of his failure to communicate. Well this time he'd had enough. He'd told her. He wasn't going to crawl back like a dog begging its master to forgive. Each time he'd tried, it had ended in abysmal failure, rejection or more misunderstandings. For once, she could approach him.

Except she wouldn't.

Pushing the thought away, he noticed Shunsui staring at him blearily. "Kid, you look like hell."

"So do you," Toshiro said and gulped more sake.

Shunsui waved the hand not clinging to the sake bottle in the air, not really making any discernible gesture. "Maybe, but I'm older than you."

"So?" What did age matter? Heartbreak was his only concern and how to hide it from everyone, mostly himself.

Shunsui stared at him longer, breathing audibly though his mouth. Wiping at his eyes, he blinked them a few times as if trying to clear them and ran a hand through his dishevelled hair, knocking off his hat in the process.. "It's a woman, isn't it? Only a woman drives a man to drink because of something said, or done or not done or not said. Women! Women are a blight on this world."

This didn't sound like Shunsui but the words echoed some of the thoughts, which had flowed through Toshiro's mind. He didn't understand Soi, Matsumoto or Momo. He hadn't understood Momo when they were young and the changes in her since then made her even more of an enigma. Why had she fallen so totally for Aizen and was still cherishing the memory of the man who tried to kill her? It made no sense. Now she was marrying a man to give her child a name and a father but he was sure she didn't love him and was only marrying him to be safe.

Matsumoto was all sex, alcohol and laziness but she'd changed since she married. The sex was not quite as threatening as it had been, the alcohol had diminished to the point of being barely there and sometimes she hadn't been quite lazy. Was that the influence of Zaraki, the love or was it the quiet that had touched her soul now she wasn't longing after Gin?

Women made no sense and Soi was the biggest puzzle with her constant mood changes and harsh criticisms. Even if it was due to the pregnancy, she should be able to retain some control. She should understand that he had rights and responsibilities just as he did being a captain.

Soi was pregnant.

With his child.

A baby.

For a moment, he felt a pang of pride in being a father but then the anger returned. There was little chance he would have any input into the care and education of his child. Soi had made it very clear she didn't need or want him. Admittedly, his arguments now seemed stupid, but he had never thought of being a father. Even in the past when he considered marrying Momo he'd only thought of the child in abstract, not as a living, breathing creature with its own needs.

The anger grew. He didn't need Soi and didn't care about the baby. The baby was nothing and Soi was nothing to him. She didn't want him to have anything to do with it? Great. No cleaning up after a messy creature that had little consideration of the people around it and the baby.

"Women are the worst," he eventually agreed with Shunsui, finding it difficult to hide the anger in his voice.

"They never know what they want," Shunsui said.

That seemed odd. Soi knew exactly what she wanted. Instead of saying anything, he simply raised an eyebrow as he took a further drink.

Shunsui noticed his quizzical look and continued. "She didn't want anyone to know we were seeing each other even when I pointed out it was no one's business. Then she was jealous of Nanao and wanted me to tell my lieutenant about our relationship so she would leave me alone and then she told me to say nothing. Then when she finally tells me, she loves me, the next thing she is refusing to spend more time with me. People in love spend time together. It's natural."

The last part Toshiro understood and nodded in agreement. Encouraged Shunsui continued. "Now she won't talk to me. Says it's all a big mistake and I should forget about her, about everything. She wants to concentrate on her sister, who is a mess anyway, and as she's now in Hueco Mundo, I can't talk to her. Each time I try, she cuts me off. Tells me she's busy, or it isn't convenient."

Here was some information. Even though he was slightly inebriated, he began to piece a few things together. Frowning he wondered briefly if it was Captain Unohana but she didn't have a sister. Rukia's sister was dead. Matsumoto never mentioned a sister and she was married anyway. Very married. Zaraki now dominated her life.

That meant he was talking about only one woman. Isane! Shunsui and Isane? Unbelievable. The tall gawky girl who was so deferential and polite, who smiled rarely. He could believe she would be reluctant to tell anyone about their relationship and thinking back, he recognised some of the hints, which had been there. Her sister's pregnancy had been a shock to her and she often seemed timid and not confident in her decisions.

"I asked the Old Man if I could go to Hueco Mundo but he stared at me as if I was asking for the moon and rejected my request. If the place wasn't in turmoil with all the Divisions losing the plot, I'd be with her now. A few hours of talk and we could work it out. Maybe. I don't know," Shunsui paused, sighed deeply, took a long pull at his bottle, and then hiccupped a little. "You have women troubles too? Girl won't go out with you?"

He didn't want to share his problems. They were too new and raw for him to be able to talk about them in any rational manner. In spite of his resolve, he heard his voice talking. "Women have to have all the control. They make all your decisions before asking what you think and then tell you there is no likelihood of change."

Blinking slowly, Shunsui appeared to be processing his words and then shook his head. "Not mine. Isane couldn't make a decision and stick to it. The only decision she's made is we are over and she doesn't want to talk to me. Hold on, you're right. She decided not to talk to me and won't even give me a moment to change her mind. I've got see her. She can't leave me. I love her. I actually love her and she won't give me a few minutes. I'm going to see her. I don't care what the Yama Ji says. I'm going." He began to struggle to his feet but one of his feet ended up on the end of his kimono and he fell forwards, keeping his grip on the sake bottle, but it spilt anyway. "Or not."

"Not tonight," Toshiro agreed. "The moon won't let you." Why was he talking about the moon?

"Not the moon. Yama Ji. He's not the moon. His face is too wrinkled to be the moon and the moon doesn't have long eyebrows. The moon doesn't care. Sits in the sky and does nothing. Doesn't care if I'm in love or not, like Yama Ji. No one cares." He rolled over onto his back and tried to sit up, but fell flat on his back. "Give me another bottle, 'Shiro. I can still feel and I don't want to feel anymore."

Toshiro thought about it, or tried to as he had another gulp of sake. "You have to sit up otherwise you'll spill the sake all over you. None will go in your mouth."

Shunsui seemed to think about it and nodded jerkily. "Must sit up. Isane would help me. Doesn't like me drinking so much but she's not here. She went away and won't talk to me." This time he rose slowly and managed to sit, unsteadily, wavering from side to side. "She won't talk to me 'Shiro. It isn't fair."

Handing his fellow Captain the third last full sake bottle, he felt compelled to say, "You're running out of sake."

"Nooooooo. I need the sake if I can't have Isane. Maybe sweet, sweet Nanao would get some more." He thought about it for a second and then wagged his head from side to side. "No, she won't. She was here earlier, nagging me about drinking. I told her to go away and she did, eventually when I told her if she stayed she had to stop talking and start drinking."

"Get one of your occiffers to get more," Toshiro urged and then tried to say it again. "Occiffer. Offier. Offiblugh. You know what I mean. Officers." He felt a surge of pride at managing to say the word correctly.

Shunsui looked at him and then the floor. "That meansh I have to get up and the floor is moving," he giggle slightly and then burped. "Idea! I'll crawl to the door. You shouldn't walk in an earthquake." He crawled, falling a few times, managed to get to the door and opened it. "Hey, you. Get sake and food. Lots of sake, get it now. If you don't get it quick, I'll tell Nanao on you. And be careful of the earthquake."

"Are you sure, Captain?" an unknown voice said. "I don't feel and earthquake."

"I'm your Captain. You follow orders? I'm giving you an order. Sake. Lots of it. Now. Maybe the earthquake is over."

"Yes, Sir. Immediately."

"Don't forget the other thing. What was it?" Shunsui seemed to be having trouble remembering.

"Food?" the voice asked.

"Yes, food. Sake and food. Now!"

"Better wait here," Shunsui told Toshiro seriously and blinked a few times. "Don't want to have to come back here to open the door."

Toshiro tried to nod, but it was difficult as his head felt very heavy. "Good idea. What's the moon doing?" For some reason it seemed important to know.

Shunsui hunched over and stared out the door. "Nothing, except there are two of them and they won't stay still. Stupid moon. The moon wants to dance and doesn't care."

The moon was dancing? Toshiro wanted to see it. He tried to get to his feet, managed it on his third try, and staggered to the door. Standing next to Shunsui, he squinted at the sky. "It's not dancing. Just moving around a bit." There were two of them, or the moon was very blurred but it seemed to have trouble staying still.

"It's dancing. Dancing and having a party. Doesn't care. The hare is probably sick of pounding the rice cake in the mortar and has decided to eat the cakes and drink moon sake while dancing with the fox and monkey. I want moon sake."

An unfamiliar Shinigami appeared carrying a heavy load and accompanied by someone who looked familiar. Someone who seemed unhappy and angry but who was also carrying a load of bottles.

"Captain, I protest."

"Sweet, sweet, Nanao. I can hear you protesting, but I can't say it is doing anything. Give me the sake. I need it tonight and tomorrow we will talk, or not. Depends. Or you can stay and have a drink?"

"Tomorrow you will have a hangover and won't wish to discuss anything," she replied angrily, ignoring the suggestion of having a drink.

"Giving you a direct order now, Lieutenant," Shunsui tried to snap. "Give me the sake and the food. Bring it in, put it down and stop disgracing me in front of a brother captain. You are making me lose face."

Nanao seemed to notice Toshiro for the first time. "Captain, can't you talk some sense into him? This drinking is bad for him."

Suppressing a hiccup, and trying to remain steady, Toshiro answered her. "He gave you a direct order, Lieutenant. Occifers, I mean officers who fail to obey direct orders from their superiors can be arrested." Listening to his words, he felt he had to nod in agreement.

Nanao appeared to stare at his face and sighed angrily. "I have to obey direct orders unless it may put my superior officer in danger."

"Overruled," Shunsui said and he rose to his feet, clutching the wall for support. "Two Captains to one Lieutenant. Sake, now."

Angrily Nanao pushed past them, almost knocking Shunsui over, stormed into the room, and almost threw the bags onto the floor. With a deep sigh, she began to collect the empty bottles. "Make him eat," she said as an aside to Toshiro.

"Leave them. They are soldiers in who fell in the battle tonight," Shunsui said as he swayed unsteadily. "Leave now Nanao and Kontaro. We have Captains things to discuss."

"The sight of the bottom of sake bottles. The many dead soldiers," Nanao muttered as she swept out with a disgusted look at the two of them, accompanied by the other Shinigami.

"That was rude, Nanao. I'll stop loving you if you are so rude." Shunsui called after her as he shut the door. "She's rude and I don't love her," he told Toshiro with a serious expression while he unsteadily made his way back to where he had been sitting.

"I don't want to love anyone," Toshiro said, seating himself somewhere, eating something he found in front of him. He couldn't quite work out what it was but maybe some food was a good idea. It was salty and that made him reach for his half-finished bottle of sake.

"Love is for losers. You love someone and then lose them." Shunsui nodded as he munched something that crumbled as he bit it, adding the mess already on his clothing. He opened another bottle and drank from it thirstily. "Who is she?"

Who is she? Who? What?

"Who don't you love?" Shunsui persisted.

"Momo," Toshiro said automatically, not really thinking about it. He'd thought he loved her for years and it was a habit he'd finally broken.

"Good for you," Shunsui said with approval. "Can't see what anyone sees in her. But that's not who you don't love. Who is it?"

Why was Shunsui asking? He wasn't looking at Toshiro but gazing at the wall over his shoulder.

"I don't love anyone." He didn't. Love was for people who could communicate.

"But who don't you love the most?" Shunsui was being very persistent. "I told you who I don't love the most."

Toshiro was fighting with himself but his tongue spoke, despite his efforts. "Captain Soifon." Immediately he regretted saying the name aloud and drank deeply from the bottle he was holding, drinking until he had to stop and gasp for air.

Shunsui gave a low whistle. "Captain Soifon, no less. I'm impressed."

Toshiro felt the colour rise in his face. "I don't love her and don't want to know her. She is as far from me as the moon."

For some reason Shunsui nodded. "Moon. Love. Drunk. Angry. You're in love with Soifon and she ditched you. Bad luck. That's why you keep talking about the moon."

It made no sense to Toshiro but Shunsui seemed convinced. "Don't love her. She hates me and yells at me all the time. Nothing I do is right. Make mistakes. Asked her to marry ..." Shocked at his near mistake he closed his mouth fast and then opened it to drink some more. He didn't want anyone else to know. She'd rejected him and it hurt.

"I asked Isane to marry me. Said she couldn't. Said it would be a mistake," Shunsui said mournfully. "I said Kenpachi and Ran managed it, but she said I wasn't Kenpachi and she certainly wasn't Ran. That wasn't very nice. I know I'm not like Kenpachi, but it could work, couldn't it? Does she have something against Ran?"

Toshiro couldn't stop the drunken giggle he felt rising. "Isane is nothing like Matsumoto and you're nothing like Zaraki, except you both like to sleep and have sex."

Shunsui stared at him for a moment and then grinned. "Nothing wrong with either of those," he said and had another drink. "Sex and sleep are good. Too much other stuff and you forget to focus on what's important."

"Soi said I want to own her. I don't."

"'Course you do. You want everyone to know she's yours. I want everyone to know Isane's mine, but I'll be hers and you'll be Soi's so we'll own each other. What's wrong with that? Silly thing to say."

"Soi isn't silly. Never silly," Toshiro said firmly. "She knows what she wants and she doesn't want me."

Shunsui was silent and Toshiro looked over, wondering if he had become unconscious. The man was still awake but he was frowning as if he was trying to remember something. "Yoruichi and Soi. Didn't they have a thing going? Still competition."

The words struck a place he'd been trying to ignore and he didn't know how to reply or even if he wanted to continue the conversation. Mumbling something unintelligible he wondered if he should leave. Too much had been revealed and he wasn't feeling much better. The throbbing was beginning in his skull and though he tried to deny it, his emotions felt raw.

"You don't want to talk about it. Talking about it makes it real, doesn't it? It becomes real that Isane would prefer to take care of her silly sister than marry me. Her sister has been longing after some man or other all her life. Ukitake has many times gently told Kiyone that as she is his subordinate it might be seen as an abuse of power if they had anything but a formal work relationship." It seemed Shunsui had sensed his discomfort and was talking about something else but the mention of Kiyone made Toshiro think of Soi and the confrontation they'd had over Kiyone's allegations.

"She's getting married. Why does Isane have to take care of her?" Toshiro was trying to drag his mind away from thoughts of Soi but it was hard.

"I heard a rumour she was marrying Kuchiki.    At the time, I thought that the rumour was false. Those two don't seem suited," Shunsui drank sake thoughtfully. "Ukitake told me, eventually. Not everything. I had to keep asking and he told me not to tell anyone else, but you seem to know all about it."

Toshiro flushed as he remembered the scene when Captain Kuchiki had directed the engagement be kept a secret. "You can't tell anyone."

"Byakuya would hate the news to spread, wouldn't he? Ukitake wouldn't tell me if it is a forced marriage but I bet it is. Poor, silly Kiyone but she's the reason Isane won't marry me. Or is she the excuse? I don't understand. Overnight, it seems that Isane changed her mind about me. It makes no sense. One day she loved me the next she couldn't bear to be in the same room as me."

Toshiro wondered. At some point, the same thing happened with Soi. Of course, he'd said some foolish things, but there was a time when he couldn't think of what he'd said or done to upset her. "Women make no sense. They're not rational like men. We don't get angry without a reason. Why can't a woman be more like a man?"

He waited for a reply. Time passed as he waited and his eyes began to droop. Another glug of sake and it was difficult to remain upright. Slumping to the floor, through half shuteyes he saw Shunsui was also lying on the floor, his mouth open wide, his limbs splayed as the sound of a snore tore through the air.

"Will his snoring keep me awake?" Toshiro wondered and fell asleep.
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A.N.

Two stories updated within a week. At last!

Soundtrack

'Acid Moon' Juno Reactor

'Drink to Get Drunk' Sander Van Doom

'Girls Like This' B15 Project

'Rock and a Hard Place' Supreme Beings of Leisure

'Why Can't A Woman Be More Like A Man?' Rex Harrison from My Fair Lady

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For The Love of a Friend