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A Shadow of What Was	By : katami Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 49594 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Author's Notes: We once more have yaoi. If that bothers you, go away. I am not responsible if you get upset because you can't or don't read the warnings.

On the happy side of things, I finally came unstuck! I can write again! *happy dance of joy* I hate getting stuck (fortunately it is a rare event with Shadow), but the block broke and I am once more writing and happy as a little clam. *Katami continues her happy dance while the muse and Bleach people pretend not to know her*

Acmarache, I suspect throwing Ishida's throw pillows is a justifiable reason for murder in the mind of a Quincy.

Remyjames, Ichigo catch a break? Ah, that's a cute idea. But I still have nearly 50 chapters to go. We've barely even seen Aizen yet. Gin is still evil (okay, not evil, but under Aizen's control). Kisauke is still fractured. We have miles to go before anyone can get a happy ending.

Also, still no winner on the threesome game.

* * *

Ichigo was frowning, this cute little furrow appearing on his brow and Kisuke couldn't help but chuckle at his lover and give him a quick kiss to reassure him. Ichigo was not someone who enjoyed surprises, but he had allowed Kisuke to blindfold him. The level of trust that took left Kisuke feeling both humble and incredibly flattered. Ichigo, perhaps more than anyone, knew the depths to which he could sink and yet he still walked blindly with nothing more than Urahara leading him along. The trust behind it staggered him and sent butterflies crashing around in his belly.

He stopped and stepped close to his lover, gently taking the boy's face in his hands and kissing him softly. His tongue ghosted over the seam of Ichigo's lip, drawing a soft sound from the redhead before he parted his lips. They kissed slowly, tongues caressing and rubbing against each other. The kiss ended before he was ready for it to, but they always did. He could have kissed Ichigo forever. He stared at the younger man for a moment and kissed him again, unable to resist. He couldn't seem to stop himself.

A flutter of uncertainty went through him as he thought of what he was about to do. He shouldn't be doing this, shouldn't be opening himself this way. He was already in far too deep though and...

It was Ichigo.

Ichigo who deserved anything and everything he had to give and more. "I...," he began, his courage deserting him. "Just a little further," he finished weakly, drawing the younger man the last few steps to his bedroom.

"Stay right there," he whispered into Ichigo's ear, delighting in the tiny shiver he drew. He retreated a few steps and quickly shed his clothes, trying to still the nervous flutter in his belly.

"Go ahead and remove the blindfold," he murmured.

Ichigo tugged off the blindfold, tossing it aside, and glancing around. "I've seen your bedroom, Kisuke," he said. "I've also seen you naked, not that I'm going to object to that."

"That isn't what I wanted to show you. This is," murmured the blonde, picking a small green pill off his dresser and swallowing it quickly. His gigai fell away for the first time in more than twenty years and Kisuke shivered at the rush of sensation that swamped him. His gigai were good, but everything was far more intense in spirit form.

"Enjoy the bath, Kon. And thank you," he murmured, handing the mod soul his favorite robe and earning a small nod. Kon knew just how significant a gesture he was making. He hadn't been out of his gigai since he'd fled and there was something far more intimate about being seen this way than just being naked. The mod soul slipped past Ichigo quietly, giving him a meaningful look as Kisuke fidgeted nervously - waiting for Ichigo to pass judgment.

Ichigo stared at him with wide eyes and he felt a tiny blush climb his checks, wondering if Ichigo understood just how much of himself he was revealing. The redhead bridged the distance between them, one hand coming up to cup his cheek as brown eyes sought his. He swallowed hard, nearly dropping to his knees as he found compassion and understanding waiting for him in the other man's gaze.

"Kisuke," breathed Ichigo, kissing him tenderly. Kisuke sagged against the redhead as his lips were released, making a soft sound as Ichigo kissed along his jaw up to his ear. "Thank you," whispered the young man quietly, petting his hair and holding him.

He knew he should just do it, tell the boy the truth, but the truth would have gotten him laughed at. Doing this had been stupid enough. He gently nuzzled Ichigo's neck, his lips grazing it every so often, savoring the feeling of just being held.

"I can feel you," whispered Ichigo, awe in his voice, before kissing him again, this time deeper and more passionately.

"The gigai suppresses my reiatsu, it helps make sure no one can find me," he told the redhead, grateful for the chance to focus on something besides his fluttering heart.

"You look amazing and I can feel you all around me," whispered Ichigo, kissing him again, before latching onto his throat. Kisuke moaned, arching into the attention and sliding his hands inside the redhead's gi. A warm tongue traced his collarbone and the blonde shivered faintly.

He tugged off Ichigo's gi, fingers tracing over the younger man's chest before crying out sharply as Ichigo sucked hard on the spot where his neck and shoulder meet. He had definitely been in the gigai too long, he decided, panting softly into Ichigo's shoulder.

"Are you okay?" asked Ichigo, looking at him with concern.

"Just not used to being like this again. It takes a little getting used to." Ichigo chuckle and Kisuke yelped as he found himself swept into the younger man's arms and carried to the bed. Ichigo set him down gently and Kisuke couldn't help but smile up at the redhead, the heat in those brown eyes comfortingly reassuring. He tugged his gi open, one hand stealing up to languidly caress his chest, enjoying the spike of lust that shot through Ichigo's reiatsu and the flash of lightning in his eyes.

"Fuck, Kisuke," groaned Ichigo, tossing his gi off and falling on him. Warm lips attacked his throat as strong hands tugged his gi off and began petting his chest eagerly. The blonde moaned, his fingers tangling in that vibrant orange hair as Ichigo slid down to lick gently at his nipples. Reiatsu flared and Kisuke quickly tempered it, the heat and yearning in it stealing his breath. He clutched lightly at Ichigo's shoulders as that clever tongue traced the scar under his left pec, the one he had gotten from Benihime when he had achieved bankai.

"Are you sure you're alright?" murmured Ichigo, laying a gentle kiss over his heart. He nodded, nails lightly scoring the younger man's back before running them over his chest. Ichigo groaned and undid his hakama, opening it and smirking down at him. A warm fist closed around his cock as power tingled across his skin and Kisuke gasped, forgetting about controlling his reiatsu, forgetting about everything except the feel of Ichigo touching him.

Ichigo pumped his cock before leaning over to kiss the tip, a pink tongue darting out to tease the slit. Kisuke threw and arm over his eyes, knowing things would be over far too soon if he watched. People called him a genius, but Ichigo had an absolutely wicked learning curve for all things physical and sex was no exception. The younger man had moved on to sucking on hip tip, happy, little wet noises coming from the back of his throat. Kisuke groaned and rolled his hips, letting his grip on his reiatsu slip just a little more and earning a moan from the redhead.

"Fuck me," he whispered softly, offering Ichigo the sandalwood oil he had taken to keeping near the bed since he'd begun seeing the younger man. Brown eyes regarded him with surprise before a firestorm of lust burst to life within them. Kisuke moaned as Ichigo eagerly took the oil and swallowed his cock as deeply as he could, not completely, but with a little more practice...

An oil slicked finger ghosted over his hole and Kisuke shivered, once again wondering if he was mad to even consider this. The finger teased him gently as Ichigo continued to demonstrate his oral skills. Kisuke gasped as the finger breached him, clawing at the sheets and trying to relax.

"So tight," purred Ichigo before making a valiant effort to try and deep throat him as that single digit moved inside him. A second finger joined the first and Kisuke whimpered, trying not to remember that it had been centuries since anyone had topped him - at least in his true form.

He bit his lip as the fingers brushed his prostate and fireworks went off behind his eyes. The fingers twisted and he tried to fight back another small sound of pleasure. "Don't do that. Let me hear you, Kisuke," purred Ichigo, seizing his bottom lip between his teeth and gently tugging on it. A clever tongue slipped into his mouth and the blonde groaned, clawing at Ichigo as more of his reiatsu unraveled. He tore open Ichigo's hakama, stroking the redhead and causing the younger man to work the fingers inside him faster and harder.

"Enough. Need you now," he ground out, pushing Ichigo onto his back and straddling his hips. He poured some oil on his hand and gave the redhead a few quick strokes before slowly sinking on the younger man's cock. They both groaned, Ichigo swearing, their hands meeting on his hips before locking together. Gray eyes ringed with red stared into liquid silver and brown eyes before their mouths crashed together in a wet, hungry kiss. Kisuke whined, shifting his hips, trying to move, to turn the dull ache into pleasure.

Ichigo made a noise like he was breaking and his eyes went silver. Kisuke gasped as he suddenly found himself on his back, one leg around Ichigo's hips and one hooked over his shoulder. He gave the younger man a sensuous knowing smile and poured his reiatsu over Ichigo in a heavy wave. Ichigo cried out and slammed into him, his power washing over them and making the blonde scream. He grabbed the redhead's shoulders, jerking him forward and sealing their mouths together as Ichigo began to move. The pace was frantic - fast, erratic thrusts with massive spikes of reiatsu from both of them.

Ichigo came first, thrusting into him hard and screaming, power spilling over him in a rush that sent him following the younger man with a wail. He wasn't sure how long they laid there, neither coherent enough to move, but eventually Ichigo slid off him. Kisuke groaned and sat up, only to be tugged back down and tucked against Ichigo's side. He sighed and let his eyes slip closed, basking.

"I'm glad I ended up here," he eventually murmured. The younger man made a soft questioning noise and the blonde glanced up at him. "I never thought I'd be happy to have been banished," he explained. "But this is good. I'm...I'm happy here.

"I never was a very good captain," he admitted quietly.

"Don't be stupid," muttered Ichigo, giving him a quick kiss. "You were probably an incredible captain."

Kisuke shook his head, warmed by Ichigo's assertions even if they weren't true. "No, I preferred my lab a little too much and...being banished made me think about things." He paused, gray eyes slipping closed. "It made me a better person," he admitted quietly.

Strong fingers tangled in his hair and dragged his head up so that blazing eyes could bore into him. "You are a good person, Kisuke. And the next time I hear you say otherwise I'll kick your ass," growled Ichigo, kissing him hard and deep. And as that skilled tongue plundered his mouth, the blonde found he almost believed him.

He awoke feeling calm and relaxed, better than he had in days. Kisuke rolled over, luxuriating in the feel of a soft mattress and a warm comforter rather than a hard cot and a thin sleeping bag. Sometime in the night, someone, probably Grimmjow, had moved him from the couch to his bed. He smiled faintly and wondered if it would be worth needling Grimmjow about the small kindness.

He gave up worrying about it and just twisted under the covers. He was almost ready to just spend the day lounging in bed. He hadn't felt so relaxed in ages and didn't want to lose feeling. He had been tense and frightened for so long, and now, suddenly, he felt good. It was almost intoxicating.

Eventually he was dragged from bed by his body's demands and from there lured to the shower. It had been days since his last real shower, although he imagined the healers had given him a sponge bath - a fact that were it ever confirmed, meant he would have to commit honorable suicide. The shower was spacious, easily big enough for two or three people, and done in cream and slate blue, with a tub that would be perfect to soak in. Kisuke decided instantly that he loved it, Grimmjow's assertions about water aside.

He turned the water up almost as hot as it would go and groaned as he slipped under the spray. It was absolute perfection, he decided, savoring the feeling for a few moments before grabbing a wash cloth and beginning to scrub, taking the chance to examine his injuries. The wound to his leg was closed, nothing more than two faint lines on either side of his calf. The chest wound was closed but the skin was still pink and tender. He shuddered as he realized that he had nearly been flayed, a section of flesh almost six inches long and five inches wide had been cut from his ribs. The only thing that had saved him from being cleaved in two was that the blade had bounced off his ribs.

He finished getting clean without any other disturbing revelations; the knowledge that Grimmjow was in the other room and would sense it kept him from enjoying the shower further. He was just toweling off when he felt a flash of reiatsu, sharp and full of anger. He slid carefully out of the bathroom and toward the living room, sensing three presences - one was Grimmjow and two were new, although faintly familiar.

"He's sleeping. He needs to rest," snarled Grimmjow, his voice a growl and a low rumbling coming from his chest.

"He's wide awaked and hiding just beyond the door there," correctly a masculine voice in an amused drawl.

Kisuke stepped into the doorway. Grimmjow stood between him and two Shinigami captains - Ukitake Jyuushiro and Kyouraku Shunsui. The Arrancar was growling menacingly but the two men looked more amused than frightened.

"Good morning, Kisuke," murmured Jyuushiro giving him a small smile and a polite nod.

"Interesting choice of nurses," grinned Shunsui.

"Fuck off, asshole," groused Grimmjow and Kisuke knew if the Arrancar had a tail it would be lashing angrily. "And sit your ass down before you fall down," he snapped at Kisuke, stalking toward the Shinigami and forcing them back a meter or two. Kisuke shook his head, smiling faintly at the former Espada's antics.

"Lay off. I feel fine. I just needed some sleep. Breakfast would be good though. Did we have any more of the curry?" he asked, glancing around with interest. Jyuushiro and Shunsui were both smiling and Grimmjow looked like he wanted to bite something.

"You are not eating that crap for breakfast!"

"Why don't you and I get our young friend some breakfast, Kitty Cat? Jyuushiro can keep an eye on Kisuke," purred Shunsui, his brown eyes sparkling with merriment.

"Kitty? Cat?" Grimmjow managed to growl out, looking too offended to even punch the other man. Kisuke was holding in his laughter, not wanting Grimmjow's ire turned on him, but delighted by the interplay. It was nice to see someone pissing off Grimmjow for a change.

"Food," he prompted when it looked like Grimmjow might have recovered enough to rip Shunsui's throat out. Kisuke watched as violence warred with the Arrancar's mother hen instincts.

"Lose him and I will rip your fucking head off," he growled at Jyuushiro, stalking off with Shunsui at his heels. The captain of the Eighth had a smug smirk on his lips, as if he wasn't at all concerned with the fact that a power Arrancar wanted him dead.

"I have a feeling it's going to be a very interesting day," murmured Jyuushiro. Kisuke smiled faintly at the older man and shrugged.
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A Shadow of What Was