Adult-FanFiction.org : Bleach

For The Love of a Friend	By : orionshadow Category: Bleach > Het - Male/Female Views: 32416 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 45
- 46
- 47
Tite Kubo owns Bleach and the characters depicted therein.   The characters in this story are not mine, except for the original characters. I make no money from the publication of this work.
Love or Friendship?
Toshiro couldn't remember if his rooms were clean. He usually liked order in his surroundings and made certain any rubbish removed, books were shelved and dishes washed. He found dirty dishes depressing and with a grimace remembered the rice that stuck in his hair after making sushi.   Recently his life was more complicated than normal and often he'd been summoned from his bed before his normal morning routine was completed. When he finally arrived home he quickly washed and went to bed, ready to be woken in the middle of the night if another crisis loomed.
When was the last time he'd been home? He must have changed uniforms at some time and bathed, but it was unlikely he'd spent more than a few minutes at a time. What would Soi think if the place had clothes draped all over the place? Had he even cleaned up after Shunsui had stayed the night? How long ago was that? There were too many things happening! He hated the thought of her gaze sweeping over the debris that he vaguely recalled had littered his home.
"Captain Hitsugaya, is something wrong?"
He was amazed Soi had asked that question. She was asking if something was wrong? It wasn't like her to show a compassionate side, or was it compassion? Why was she staring at him in that manner? Her eyes were deep brown and as soft as he'd ever seen them. Her face held none of the residual bitterness or harshness he'd come to expect when she looked at him. Moreover, why was she calling him Captain instead of Toshiro?
Forcing a smile he replied, "Captain Hitsugaya? Why so formal, Captain Shaolin? We've passed our previous formality recently at Division Four. If we hadn't been interrupted you'd be still screaming my name."
Was that a slight colour creeping into her cheeks? Soi wasn't blushing, was she? "This is a new beginning for, for whatever this is or was," she replied, her voice low and serious. Her gaze was steadfastly located at a point over his right shoulder as she refused to meet his gaze.
At least it seemed so. When he attempted to place himself in her line of vision, she moved her eyes again over his shoulder and eventually looked at the ground.
Toshiro felt a sudden stab of something, which felt like tenderness. It was an unusual feeling, one he didn't experience often and had always denied toward this woman. Guessing it was pride and embarrassment affecting her he asked "Soi, look at me, please?"
Her eyes didn't waver and her expression remained unchanged, as much as he could see as she was still gazing at the ground but the colour in her cheeks deepened a shade. "Not yet, Captain. Give me some time."
Damn it. He'd said something stupid again. Obviously, it was the comment about her screaming his name. Were all women so sensitive about the mention of sexual pleasure or shared moments? Or was it Soi? Or did she feel regret for her agreement to start whatever they had again?
Matsumoto didn't seem worried about sharing any information, sexual or otherwise, but she wasn't known for modesty. Soi was more modest than his lieutenant, but then most people were. He had to remember not each woman was the same and their reactions to events were often emotionally charged. He shuddered slightly as he remembered the fear, need and confusion in Kiyone's eyes when Soi had brought her to confront him. No, women were very different to each other, as were men. Trying to generalise about them only led to confusion or disaster.
An idea began to form in his mind. Their previous 'relationship' had been based on a bargain they'd struck to protect Momo. He'd made the request and was under an obligation to keep his side as he feared for his friend. Momo no longer required the protection, he hoped so Soi and he were on an even footing. There was no longer the need for a bargain and she didn't hold the power now. Until now she'd directed most of their meeting, the sex, what would happen and when. Was she worrying about who would have the control or the most power in the 'relationship'?
Was he likely to try to take over? He wasn't sure. The anger he'd felt at being in the subordinate position with her had mostly vanished when they began to have sex. Mostly. Not completely because Soi still tried to direct the action most of the time or resisted when he tried to take control. If they began again would anything change? Did she need to be in charge so...?
So she wasn't afraid of being hurt again.
He was dumbstruck by the idea. As a man, he'd unconsciously dismissed her relationship with Yoruichi as being unimportant, as it had been with another woman. Now he finally acknowledged a relationship between two women, or two men might be as passionate as any love between a man and woman. He almost flushed at the late realisation.
If Soi had been as damaged by the desertion of her lover and angry or uncertain she wouldn't want to give anyone power to hurt her again.
If he wanted a relationship of any kind with her, he might need to think about this carefully. If he could assure her that she did have control she might be less defensive and less likely to make pre-emptive attacks on him in case he was preparing to betray her. Not that he would betray her, except he had said that stupid thing about Momo.
Now this thought had risen he began to wonder if this had any chance of working.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"If we have sex will he notice the changes? Will he guess I'm pregnant? What if he thinks I'm only preparing to start something with him because of the baby? I'm not, but how will I persuade him? Should I keep the baby? Why did he have to mention screaming his name? I didn't do it often. How is this going to work? I can't look at him. I can't look at him. I won't look at him because I don't feel like it. If I look at him, I might laugh and he wouldn't understand. Worse, I might feel something I don't want to experience again. I'll go. That's what I will do. Go now and talk about this later. Much later. Maybe after the baby has grown up and celebrated its 80th birthday."
The barrage of thoughts made concentration difficult. The conversation between them had ceased or there was an exceptionally long pause. She turned, intending to leave.
"Don't go, Soi. I think talking it out is the best option. Why don't we go somewhere neutral where we have no shared history and talk? Down by the river, perhaps. We can make certain no one is around, sit under a tree and talk at leisure."
Without meaning to, her gaze diverted to his face. The surprise she felt at his suggestion made her wonder if she really knew this person. He appeared to be thinking about this seriously and talking was something, which might help. It also might not help if he had changed his mind.
Feeling at a loss and hating the emotion more than ever she tried to form a reply.
"We can take something to eat and drink. An informal picnic. You haven't eaten today from what I know and neither have I. I'm hungry."
The suggestion made sense and in reply, her stomach growled slightly. It seemed interested in the mention of food.
Words spilled unintentionally from her lips. "This isn't a date is it? I don't want to go on a date. I don't do dates."
Toshiro looked confused. "It's simply a picnic to talk. We don't have to talk about anything serious if you don't want to." He paused and added, "Let's spend some time together where we are not fighting or having sex. It's not a date. It's a picnic."
Soi considered what he'd said and feeling a little shaken by her unexpected outburst didn't see how she could reject the suggestion without appearing foolish. "We will talk," she agreed, feeling nervous in her agreement and the prospect of a picnic but not a date.
"When and where?"
Why was he asking her? He'd suggested the picnic, so why did he want her to tell him anything? Even so, it made her feel relaxed that he wasn't trying to dictate all the terms of this picnic.
Having waited in the past for something to happen, for a loved one to return, it seemed tiresome to go through that process again. "Now," she said. It wasn't a question. If they were picnicking, they would do so now before either of them could change their mind or set a private agenda for the things that might happen. This whole reunion was unplanned and it may as well continue that way.
Toshiro looked startled. "Now?"
"Yes, now. Why not now? We need to talk, I'm hungry and if we leave it until later, later may never happen. The Seireitei hasn't been the most serene place in the last few weeks, in case you've forgotten." She smiled as she said the last words. Serene was the opposite of the Seireitei.
He nodded in agreement. "Who knows when duty might call either of us away? How will we organise food?"
Soi gestured and as expected one of her elite corps knelt before her. "Food for a picnic," she ordered, "and privacy. No one to follow me or watch over me. Captain Toshiro and I can defend ourselves for one afternoon. In addition bring rugs, pillows, drinks. I will leave it to you. Don't disappoint me."
"Where do I deliver this?" the male kneeling before her asked.
"The river. Make certain it is there before we arrive." She expected no questions or comments. As the commanding officer, she made the decisions. While her lieutenant was 'on leave' she'd noticed work was done more swiftly, efficiently and with fewer complications arising as a result. He did need other duties and tomorrow she might investigate further. Her life had been on hold, or so it seemed, while she dealt with other people's problems.
Toshiro was smiling at her in a new manner. It appeared to be a mixture of pride and amusement. "You've never asked for this type of thing before?"
"I never had the need. It may be seen as out of character or even an indulgence but I don't care. Life is not always about duty." She was astonished to hear those words uttered by her lips. Since Yoruichi left, aside from the interludes with Toshiro, everything had been duty. Even her few moments of relaxation had been about duty.
She was tired of working without reward.
"Soi? Captain Shaolin?" Why did Toshiro sound so hesitant?
"Yes," she replied raising an eyebrow as she looked at him.
"Could you request one of your special squad to take a private message to my third seat?" Again, his voice sounded different, odd, as if he felt some guilt in asking this question.
"Yes, of course. Write the message and I will have it sent immediately. Why not summon a Hell Butterfly?"
Was it her imagination or did Toshiro go a pale pink? It was difficult to believe the icy captain could blush.
"It is a private matter," Toshiro replied looking over her shoulder. Did it mean it might have something to do with her?
"I see," she couldn't prevent her words from sounding cold. Nor did she really want to. Maybe he was sending a love note. A love note? To whom?
Toshiro drew some writing implements from his sleeve and wrote a few quick strokes. She thought she saw the word 'clean'. Clean? Clean what?
'What is dirty?" Perhaps she shouldn't have asked but it was too late now.
Toshiro quickly folded the note and flushed even more. "My quarters. I can't remember if they've been cleaned since Shunsui stayed over that night we were drinking." He admitted, sounding as if he wished he had never asked to send a note.
Without meaning to, Soi laughed. "Cleaning? You want your quarters cleaned in case things become sexual?"
Her laughter and comment appeared to make Toshiro even more uncomfortable. "I like my place to be clean."
Soi laughed even more and noticed Toshiro turned away. "What's wrong with cleanliness?"
Taking a deep breath, Soi tried to stop laughing. "Nothing." It was all she could say as her dormant humour again asserted itself.
A loitering subordinate was quickly dispatched with the note, which gave Soi some time to recover from her sudden burst of laughter. She might not be laughing but she still felt happy. It was time to have some fun for a change instead of the unceasing work, which provided little respite. No matter how much work she did there always seemed more requiring her attention. Pushing aside all thoughts of work, she reached out and took Toshiro's hand.
"Let's go to the river bank and have lunch."
He nodded in reply but didn't look at her and she wondered why.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
She'd laughed at him and it hurt. She'd said she didn't want a date and that too hurt but in a way that was low and her other words made it bearable but now she was laughing at him.
He was accustomed to Matsumoto laughing at him but she laughed at everyone, even her husband on occasions. Soi wasn't like her. Soi laughed only rarely, when she found something funny and now she was laughing at him because he wanted his quarters cleaned. Why was she laughing? What was so amusing about the desire to have his quarters clean and fit for habitation or lovemaking? He didn't want to slip on a bottle laying on the floor or any remnants of food, which might have been accidentally left out.
There was also the possibility the food might have gone stale or rotten or attracted ants. Ants were very difficult to deter from entering a place where they'd previously found food.
What if they were passionate and entered the door kissing and tearing their clothes off only to be overwhelmed by the smell of stale alcohol or their feet stuck to something lying on the floor. It was only reasonable that he would want his quarters clean and now he felt shamed and embarrassed.
Was this yet another large mistake following all the others he'd made? Soi had finished with him, they'd both believed it was over and now they were preparing to try again on a completely different basis. He'd tried to be considerate of her feelings, even attempting to let her know he didn't expect to be in charge of the relationship and in return she laughed at him.
Maybe it was funny.
It was. They were planning to have a picnic and talk about a possible future and he was fussing about having clean quarters. He sincerely hoped Matsumoto didn't hear of it. Only recently he'd ordered her to stop calling him an old woman because of the attention to detail and emphasis that all the paperwork be completed in a certain manner. After he'd ordered her to stop, she saluted, bowed, then curtsied, and finally laughed at him.
"I hear you, O Captain, my Captain," she'd said.   "Let me paraphrase for you. You are not old, a female or in any way shape or form an... I mean micromanaging everything I do."
"Correct, Matsumoto. Congratulations for listening."
In answer she'd widened her eyes and said sweetly, "I always listen to what you say, Captain. Sometime I choose to pretend I haven't heard."
They'd both laughed and the memory of that moment and the current situation made him stop feeling humiliated. Instead, he smiled at Soi and said, "I'm still hungry and we aren't even at the river bank yet. Let's see how fast we can arrive."
They both walked swiftly and he kept feeling the desire to ask her why she didn't want to date. "Don't ask", he kept advising himself. "I may not like the answer."
All the same, what were her reasons?
Then again, many of the recently formed liaisons which he knew about and he thought there were two or possibly three, the couple hadn't dated, not once.
Was this the way life was progressing? No dates, just a quick decision and entering into a relationship that in most cases seemed built on lust. For some, like Matsumoto and Zaraki it worked as they had other interest and passion for each other, but for some of the other couples like Byakuya Kuchiki and Kiyone, there seemed little chance they would form a loving attachment. As for Momo and her future husband he worried she was simply pleased to be marrying anyone. Not a good reason for marriage.
But who was he to judge? He'd formed a sexual liaison with Soi simply to protect Momo.
Still pondering he heard Soi say, "I don't want to date because that implies I am looking to form a conventional relationship."
Toshiro stopped and looked at her wondering why she was answering an unasked question. He wanted to know the answer but was surprised she'd offered the information so quickly.
"I'm telling you this because you looked shocked when I said I didn't do dates," Soi said, her face turned away. "Then I laughed at your need for your quarters to be cleaned and it seemed to upset you a little."
Once again he was confused she'd noticed these things about him. Was this the same aloof woman who appeared to exist for her position? "It was embarrassment," he admitted. If she was showing more care than before, he might show more honesty. He had been honest with her in the past, to a point. Well, except about his feelings but feelings were private. No one else knew the feelings were there unless you told them.
Or they were very observant.
Normally he shied away from feelings. It was better to retire behind the cold shell of his inner self, containing all the fears and destructive emotions that sometimes threatened to spill forth and harm others. Now he was faced with dealing with stronger emotions with a person who was displaying many of the emotions he associated with his grandmother and Matsumoto and these emotions normally made him uncomfortable. The discomfort was there; he couldn't ignore it, but for some reason it seemed less difficult to deal with.
"I've never dated anyone," he offered quietly. "Dating never interested me."
There was silence. Toshiro wondered if he'd said the wrong thing or if Soi was misinterpreting his words and overlooking the meaning.
Finally, she nodded and said, "No dating."
Toshiro nodded, not sure if any verbal response was necessary. They continued to walk and with a brief space of time arrived at their destination.
There were blankets, cushions, small outdoor chairs, a table and a basket of food.
To his surprise, Soi grabbed the basket of food and sat on a rug. She opened the basket and to his astonishment, grabbed something from the top and before he could ask what it was, she was eating with one hand and pushing the basket toward him with the other.
Looking inside the open basket he saw some crumbed chicken and realised that was the food Soi was consuming with every indication of enjoyment. He picked up a drumstick, noticed it was still hot and sank his teeth into the moist, meaty centre. It was very good and the smell enhanced the flavour. Saliva filled his mouth as his stomach signalled its approval of the food and indicated it wished to receive the mouthful he was chewing as soon as possible, or he thought that was what the rumbling noise meant. He cringed a little at the noise and heard a small, hushed laugh.
"You were honest. You are hungry," Soi observed, taking another piece of chicken.
"So are you," he countered. "Did you inhale the first piece?"
Hell, why had he said that? It was dumb and thoughtless and Soi might be offended. He hoped she wasn't.
"Not quite," she replied, which made him relax and enabled him to take another bite. "You were right, Toshiro. I haven't been eating properly." She didn't look at him but he felt the words meant something more than the simple admission.
Soi was now delving into the basket with one hand and bringing out the food contained within while taking bites from the chicken held in the other hand.
There appeared to be salads, bread, sushi, pork cutlet, eggs, and even some cooked soba noddles in broth. He wondered if they were cold or hot. Accompanying the meal was tea and water.
He looked at the sushi with a raised eyebrow. After the experience of making the stuff he wasn't sure he wanted to eat any. Remembering the rice stuck in his hair, the disobedient nori and the disaster of the party that followed, sushi might hold bad memories for some time to come.
Soi handed him a plate and he selected some of the noodles. They were warm, in a broth that tasted strongly of miso and ginger.
"Tasty," he said.
"I like ginger," Soi said as she also ate the noddles.
They began to talk about the foods they preferred. Conversation did not flow freely at first as they occasionally spoke over each other but as time passed and their stomachs filled, it seemed easier to chat about issues, which interested them but aroused no strong feeling. He was interested to hear that Soi rarely ate miso without mixing it with ginger, something he didn't often do. He expressed a liking for crumbed chicken and she smiled and passed him the plate, which contained one last piece. He accepted, deciding that to say no might seem discourteous and contradictory.
Taking another plate of noodles, he noticed, despite being covered and kept in a heated pot, they were now cold. Sipping his water, he looked at the sky. The day was darkening towards evening.
"We've been here for hours," he said.
"Does it matter how long we've been here? Are you feeling that you need to return to work?"
He considered the question. "No. I deserve a break. I haven't sat and chatted with anyone who wasn't Matsumoto or Shunsui for some time."
"Not even Zaraki?" Soi seemed curious.
Toshiro laughed. "Have a long conversation with Zaraki about anything but fighting and his other major pleasure? No. When did you last talk with the man?"
Soi closed her eyes as if considering the matter. "Very rarely. Our duties only bring up into contact at the Captain's meetings and even there he tends to glaze over when Yamamoto talks about budgets and new directives."
"Fortunately the meetings are usually short. I've often wondered if he might fall asleep on his feet if those discussions continue for a lengthy period," Toshiro said smiling. He liked Zaraki but he was not a born administrator. A good fighter, maybe even a good teacher of the martial skills, except Kendo. Other than that, he sometimes appeared frustrated at the length of time he was required to attend meetings until his eyes lost their focus.
"I wonder how Captain's meetings will progress now he's married."
The question made him laugh. "More impatient than ever?"
"Patience is overrated," Soi replied, looking serious and then smiled.
He couldn't recall seeing her smile so regularly before. It made a difference, removing the sadness from her eyes and altering the normally remote face to one full of animation and joy. Had Yoruichi changed her to the aloof person of was it part of the careful training to which she'd been subjected all her life?
"It's getting late," was her next comment and he thought he saw her shiver.
"And cold," he replied.
They fell silent. It seemed neither of them wanted this time to end or to make a suggestion they go somewhere else.
The sound of the river and the wind disturbing the leaves in the trees filled the silence. The low whooping sound of a Scops Owl occasionally disturbed the relative quiet as they continued to sit. Noticing Soi shiver again, Toshiro moved closer and tentatively placed an arm around her, drawing her closer for warmth. While he was doing so he was thinking, "This might be a mistake. She might push me away, but I don't want to see her cold and shivering." She didn't resist and having moved off one clear rug, he pulled it over them both.
"Thank you," Soi said quietly.
Nothing more was said as they watched the sun set.
"What should I do now?" Toshiro wondered.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A.N.
For anyone still reading and waiting for updates, thank you.
For once a quiet chapter without too much conflict.
Soundtrack
'The Maze' Lacuna Coil
'Come Back Clean' The Crystal Method
'Pedestal' Maakheru
'Metro Love' Monkey Mania
'Sunset' Chris Coco
Review. Reviews sometimes amuse.
- 45
- 46
- 47
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

For The Love of a Friend