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A Shadow of What Was	By : katami Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 49594 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Author's Notes: By all that is dark and unholy, I have footnotes! How wrong is my life when a fanfic has footnotes? *shakes head and stalks of to drink until a world in which a fanfic with footnotes makes sense* Also, I normally don't like to give characters so much face time, makes them cocky and hard to control, but this chapter was needed at this stage - and sure enough Byakuya is being a pain about the GMP.

remyjames, yep, everyone will love the fox by the time I'm done! *tries to laugh manically, but fails because milk and cookies are way more interesting*

AJS, I thought Aizen dying horribly was on everyone's Christmas list, it sure is on mine.

I'm really glad everyone is enjoying my take on Gin's life. I don't think he is a truly evil guy - of course, that could just be because he slipped into my head with the rest of the Bleach cast and kept saying he was nice. And if you think that chapter is the worst of what Aizen can do...Well, don't bet on it.

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Ulquiorra tried to keep track of the path they took when they left the Sixth, but the Seireitei was a maze of buildings and streets and most of his concentration was focused on the man at his side and the conversation he would soon be having. He had never had a formal conversation such as the one looming before him. Frankly, he had never wanted to find himself entangled so closely with another person.

He was startled from his thoughts when they went through a small doorway into a beautiful garden. He had never seen anything so lush and green. Even his forays to Earth had not prepared him for the manicured perfection laid out before his eyes. There were trees of all sorts, more than he could ever hope to identify. There were beds of flowers laid out in patterns more intricate than he would have thought possible, with colors that boggled the mind. He could hear the trickle of water in the distance and the night breeze carried the scent of jasmine and other blossoms to his nose. Ulquiorra thought it was one of the most exquisite things he had ever seen.

Which of course explained why Kuchiki Bayakuya should be the one to show it to him.

Byakuya smiled faintly at him, the Shinigami's hand brushing his lightly before taking it. He glanced down at their joined hands, still startled by the warmth of the Shinigami's skin and the enjoyment the small touch brought him. He had never willingly touched in Las Noches, had hated to have others near him there, but oddly the idea of touching and being touched by Byakuya did not repulse or annoy him.

"I hope you do not mind, but my family's home was closer and more private than the base," murmured Byakuya.

"I do not mind. I've never seen anything... Hueco Mundo was a desert," he murmured, still amazed by the sheer volume of...life. The gentle smile Byakuya gave him warmed that strange place inside him and Ulquiorra felt his grip on the Shinigami's hand tighten for the briefest moment.

"My quarters are this way, we can talk undisturbed there."

As Byakuya led him through the garden, Ulquiorra felt his estimation of the other man's standing edge steadily upward and answering cold settle in his belly. A relationship, of any sort, would have been hard enough with a captain of the Gotei 13, but he knew certain things would be expected of a noble of the kind of rank Byakuya appeared to have.

And dalliances with turncoats was not one of them.

Byakuya led them to one wing of an elegant manor house and then along a veranda for a short distance. A servant was waiting for them, but was too well trained to react to Ulquiorra, although the Arrancar thought he caught a hint of surprise on the man's face before his mask of blank politeness fell into place. Shojo¹ were slid open and Byakuya gestured him inside, pausing to speak to the servant for a moment. Ulquiorra took the chance to study his surroundings, amazed by the understated wealth of the room. Tatami mats covered the floor and the fusuma² were decorated with breathtaking nature scenes - one season on each wall, with a spring riot of cherry blossoms leading deeper into what had to be Byakuya's personal rooms. The central feature of the room was a beautiful, low redwood table. There was a pillow comfortably arranged where someone could sit and observe the garden and as Ulquiorra watched a servant came in with another pillow and some tea.

They sat, letting the servant pour them each a cup of tea before slipping out unobtrusively. "I very much appreciated your help today with the paperwork," murmured Byakuya, sipping his tea.

"I enjoyed it and considered it a wonderful learning opportunity. If your vice captain is unable to perform her duties, however, why retain her?" asked Ulquiorra, examining his tea with faint distaste, memories of Aizen and his 'tea parties' coming swiftly to the front of his mind. He took a small sip of the golden liquid, surprised to find the flavor subtle and delicate.

"I do not intend to, I have simply been unable to replace her at this time," replied Byakuya as several servants slipped in, arranging various dishes before them and pouring each of them a glass of wine before leaving as quickly and silently as they had come.

Byakuya regarded him warmly and Ulquiorra felt an odd flutter in his chest, something he thought might be familiar, but from long ago. "I have enjoyed our time together a great deal," murmured the Shinigami.

"As have I," he replied softly. He couldn't remember the last time he had enjoyed another's company to such a degree. Grimmjow was a worthy ally and could be tolerable for brief periods; but the man was like a cat and confinement with him was as pleasant as being trapped with an angry panther.

"It would please me a great deal if we could continue to see one another," Byakuya went on, his eyes warm and his voice a smooth purr.

Ulquiorra regarded him, pragmatism warring with desire and leaving a tight, sick feeling in his gut - like he had been punched. He didn't like it. Didn't like the uncertainty or the suddenly countless choices open to him.

Logic said that he should limit his involvement with the captain of Sixth. A high ranking noble might enjoy a friendship with him, but never anything more. Byakuya would have duties, obligations - the need for an heir.

"What troubles you?" asked Byakuya softly, a small frown marring his lovely features. "Your reiatsu became agitated," he explained when Ulquiorra stared at him in confusion.

Ulquiorra dropped his gaze, unable to look into those smoldering gray eyes. For once he did not want to be logical or reasonable, he wanted to remain with Kuchiki Byakuya, to feel the warmth of his skin and the soft kiss of his reiatsu. "I had not given any thought to the position you held before now. There must be...obligations," he began, growing silent when Byakuya's hand touched his and then settled over it.

"There was only one person I might have wished to carry on my line with and she's gone now. I have married once, I shall not do so again, Ulquiorra." Ulquiorra felt his eyes drawn from their joined hands to Byakuya's face and his eyes. The odd fluttering feel in his chest intensified and he swallowed hard, wondering if it was possibly to become lost in another's gaze.

"I would be honored to spend more time with you, Byakuya," he murmured softly, blushing faintly as the Shinigami's hand gave his a gentle squeeze. A soft thumb brushed the back of his hand and he couldn't help but shiver under the gentle caress.

They ate in comfortable silence, their eyes often meeting, and the same faint smile touching their lips. Ulquiorra watched in wonder as their meal was cleared away when they were done and the doors to the veranda opened, affording them a lovely view of the garden and allowing the soft night sounds to drift in. Byakuya waved the servants away, settling closer to him and pouring them both another glass of wine. Ulquiorra felt the warmth of the other man at his side, reaching out hesitantly for the Shinigami.

"I feel I must mention that my...experience with...," he began, only to pause, searching for the right words to explain. "I have never indulged in a romantic liaison before now," he finally admitted, wondering if it would make a difference.

A strong hand on his cheek gently urged his gaze toward Byakuya, the noble's face pondering. Byakuya's fingertips moved lightly over his cheek and Ulquiorra couldn't help but relax into the soft touch. He had never realized the appeal of such touches, the gentle contentment they stirred. "You are not completely without experience," Byakuya said softly, the words not quite a statement but not a question either.

Ulquiorra dropped his eyes. "I was fourth," he explained quietly as if that would explain - and in Las Noches it would have. He was fourth. There were three others higher than him and to whom he had to answer to. They could force him to their will just as he could have forced anyone lower than him to his. It was the way of Las Noches. That he had never chosen to use his power for...such things was immaterial. There had been three above him and they had on occasion.

Byakuya's eyes narrowed and power flashed over Ulquiorra, tightly contained but banked with rage. "That does not make it right," growled the noble quietly.

"It does not change the facts of Las Noches either," murmured Ulquiorra with resignation. "It means nothing...unless..."

Reiatsu crackled and lightning flashed in Byakuya's eyes. "My affections are not so shallow," growled Byakuya. Ulquiorra felt a smile pull at his lips and leaned forward to touch his lips to the other man's in a soft, chaste kiss before letting his cheek rest against the Shinigami's.

"Thank you," he whispered softly. Byakuya's arms slid around him and the noble drew him close, holding him. Ulquiorra shivered faintly and held himself stiffly, not sure what to do. It was only when the other man gently pressed him closer and began small gliding stokes of his hand down his spine that he began to understand and relax. "Thank you," he whispered again as Byakuya laid a gentle kiss to his mask.

1. A traditional style Japanese door. You can check them out here, if you are curious.

2. More Japanese doors/walls. They can be found here.
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A Shadow of What Was