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Different Circumstances	By : orionshadow Category: Bleach > Het - Male/Female > Kenpachi/Rangiku Views: 42085 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Tite Kubo owns Bleach and the characters depicted therein.   The characters in this story are not mine, except for the original characters. I make no money from the publication of this work.
The Freedom
"Gin, have you ever considered explaining something from the beginning? Not hinting, or giving partial facts?" At least one thing hadn't changed about him. He still didn't enjoy sharing knowledge.
A look of amazement crossed his face, or I assumed that was the emotion he was experiencing. "Knowledge is power."
"Knowledge that is not shared is dangerous. Gin, we've been friends since we were children. You kept secrets from me then. Eventually I learnt to keep secrets from you, but now I've been shown secrecy isn't healthy." We were at odds in this. Honesty was something we hadn't shared.
He smiled widely. "You don't have secrets from the Thug?"
"I've told you before. I don't keep secrets from my husband. I love him. Secrets destroyed us, Gin."
He shook his head. "No, they protected you."
I laughed at his claim. "How? How did the secrets protect me? Aizen raped me. I've been abducted, tortured, nearly murdered...." I broke off. Listing all the things that had happened was both scary and depressing.
His voice at least made me stop listing the recent events which had hurt me. "It's always what happened to you. What about me?"
Again his words made me laugh, bitterly. "You never told me what happened to you, Gin. Whenever I asked you simply smiled and didn't answer, or walked away."
He turned away and seemed to be staring at the walls. If I'd expected a quick response, I was to be disappointed. In this case I wasn't. Gin didn't share easily and his secrets were more precious to him than anything, or so it always seemed to me.
"Rangiku, I have been quiet all this time, believing your ignorance kept you safe." He stopped talking.
My first thought was to break the silence, to say something that would encourage him to tell me what he meant, but any efforts to draw him out in the past had failed. Nothing had changed and the act of asking might make him even more reluctant to say anything to me. So much had changed. Once I loved him, now I wasn't certain how to define the emotion I was feeling toward him. Once he had the power to make me cry, from fear of him leaving me or his harsh words. There was little chance of it now.
"I wanted to keep you safe from Aizen, right from the very beginning."
My instinct was to shake my head in disbelief. How did he propose to keep me safe from the man by becoming best buddies with him? By pushing me away? By treating me like less than nothing? As if I didn't matter to him at all?
My mouth formed a silent 'O'.
"Aizen was trying to experiment on you just before I met you. He was startled by some of the Captains and instead turned his anger on them. You were left unconscious and your memories... I didn't know you before. I don't know what happened to your memories." His voice was darker and deeper than it been previously.
Each word scared me. I didn't remember much about the time before I met him, but it hadn't seemed important and I'd been very young. He'd taken over my life and in the early days used to make inconsequential conversation about strange things, or things which seemed strange to me. This was a Gin I had encountered rarely before. One who wasn't dismissive or cruel. At the same time, I wanted to know more.
"What do you mean?"
"Ran, I joined with Aizen to protect you from him. It was my only reason and when he became interested in me, he didn't me to be influenced by anyone else, especially you."
I arched an eyebrow. "Why me?"
Gin sighed and I knew he wasn't happy about replying or even telling me the information he'd imparted so far. "You are my oldest and closest friend. We were lovers and you knew more about me than anyone else. He saw you as a threat."
I tried to make light of it and deliberately misunderstood. "You and Aizen were or are lovers?" I said, trying to keep my tone light and teasing. It seemed impossible there was any sexual involvement between the two men.
Instead of the quick denial I'd expected, there was silence. A tense silence.
It caused me to look at Gin and as usual the smile concealed any other trace of expression. His ability to hide his emotions was back which caused me to wonder why it had faltered earlier. Then the lack of denial made me think and I didn't enjoy the way my thoughts evolved. It was none of my business what Gin did or had done. Our relationship was over, long over and I was happily married to Zaraki... except for the abductions, interruptions and separations. I had to convince Gin to let me go. As a matter of sanity any further questions I might have about Gin's relationship with Aizen would be kept to myself. I didn't want to know nor did I need to know.
"Once or twice," Gin said softly. "Long ago."
Tears stung my eyes, which made no sense to me. Aizen and Gin had been lovers a long time ago. Had the relationship overlapped the one I had with Gin? Had he been sleeping with both of us? Was it one of the reasons Aizen raped me? Out of sexual jealousy?
Everything I knew about the man made it unlikely. He didn't see sex as anything except an act of dominance or a way of establishing power. He'd impregnated Momo (or had that been Gin?) before trying to kill her. Had he done so deliberately? As another way of establishing his ownership?
Gin appeared to be awaiting a response.
"Oh."
"Ran, I tell you I've had sex with Aizen and all you say is 'Oh'?"
I felt a sigh grow, but tried to answer without it. "What can I say, Gin? Our relationship is long over and I've moved on as you obviously have. It's none of my business and rather than jealousy, I feel pity for you."
Talking about it was futile. It had not been by Gin's choice and from his attitude he hadn't enjoyed the experience or even initiated it. Requesting further information would reveal sordid facts which weren't necessary for me to know and it was unlikely he'd tell me anything further. Until now I hadn't thought my opinion of Aizen could sink any lower, but I was wrong.
He nodded reflectively. "Yes. Sex is not an expression of love when it is used to establish power nor am I fond of blackmail."
I stared at him. He freely admitted what I'd been thinking but unwilling to say. Words tumbled out of my mouth before I could prevent them. "Is that why you slept with Momo?"
His brow creased and the smile faded from his face. "I slept with Momo? You mean I fucked the girl?"
"She told me you were her first lover," I said quietly knowing I was breaking a confidence, but it seemed unlikely Gin would spread the story anywhere.
My former love laughed harshly. "You believed her? You believed that light minded fool when she told you that I had sex with her? When did this happen?"
I took a deep breath to prevent my voice from shaking. "The night before Aizen 'died'."
Gin stood up abruptly and his chair clattered as it fell down. Crossing his arms he paced the room shaking his head. "Ran, I'd sooner sleep with Orihime than Momo and I'm not tempted by either girl. That is the problem with them. They're both girls with little in the way of thought except their obsession over some male. I did not fuck Momo; I wouldn't fuck her with Tosen's dick. Can't you remember how I hate her?" His voice became louder as he talked and it reminded me of one of our few discussions about his dislike of my friendship with Lieutenant Hinamori.
"I didn't have sex with anyone that night, not even you as we were no longer even friends by then. God, Ran. I miss the sex, the pleasure: you."
I lowered my eyelids, not wishing to look at him closely or permit him to see the expression of relief. Why did I feel relief? It shouldn't matter to me who he slept with. Our shared past was simply that: past. History.
"Aizen probably did it, convinced her using his zanpakuto's power to make the fool think it was me. It'd appeal to his twisted appetites. I bet he had sex with her immediately afterward in his own guise, didn't he?"
My head nodded without my cooperation. It made more sense now. Aizen was a man who enjoyed inflicting pain on others, whether physical or mental and mental was often so much more effective. Momo had expressed her feeling of conflict and mental pain while Aizen had sex with her the second time. Whether he meant to impregnate her or not was a moot point and one he probably felt he'd solved when he stabbed the girl.
There was a point which he'd mentioned earlier which I didn't understand. "How did working with Aizen protect me?"
His lips thinned even further, if it was possible. "I thought if I worked closely with him, I'd manage to monitor his actions."
"Why are you telling me this, now? Until now all you seemed to wish to do was torment me or remind me of how little I meant to you."
He stopped pacing, his back to me. "Then, there was little choice. Now, I'm free."
"Free? What do you mean free? You're still here in Hueco Mundo and working with Aizen." Was he going to explain his words, or leave me to interpret his meaning? This Gin might do either and I dimly recalled his younger self who had acted more like a friend than an aloof and amused acquaintance. He'd mentioned something about the high cost of freedom before and the way he'd spoken was like he was declaring an important fact.
Gin turned and his face was set in an expression I'd rarely seen. Grim determination. Many times he had been prepared to do anything to gain the outcome he desired, but usually hid it with a smile and sly words. "I'm free of Aizen's influence. He no longer has power over me. My ability to protect you has returned fully."
The gasp I heard must be my own but it was to be expected. Gin was admitting Aizen had once had power over him and influenced him. On a few occasions I'd wondered why Gin had gradually spent more and more time with Aizen and was prepared to do anything he'd asked. When I'd first known him he was reluctant to permit anyone to advise him or direct his actions. Any suggestions I made were met with a mocking smile and some observation which made me feel foolish.   It had seemed unfair that my ideas were dismissed so easily whereas Aizen never appeared to make a mistake in word or deed. It might also explain why he'd had sex with Aizen; not only to prove Aizen's domination of him, but because he had no real choice. It made me wonder which was the worst form of rape: the one Aizen had visited on me, or the one visited on Gin.
If Gin were to be believed many of the things which had puzzled me were explained. The reason he'd withdrawn from me and treated me like an problem rather than a friend.
"You became friends with Aizen in order to protect me," I said slowly, the words meaning more than I'd thought they would.
"Yes, but it failed. He got control of me and tried over and over again to turn me against you," he said.
"But he did turn you against me!" Could it have been more obvious that Aizen had succeeded? All his cruel taunts and indifference weren't the actions of a person who cared for me.
"Not really. I acted as he told me to, but my feelings for you never changed. I tried to push you away, to protect you. The cooler I became toward you, the less Aizen worried about you, until he again saw a use for your rapid healing abilities."
"And the rape?" I asked. No matter what I did, or any explanation I received I returned to that horrible event. Time had healed the physical injuries but being this close to Gin and knowing Aizen was possibly near made me remember the mental anguish. I looked at the door, contemplating the possibility of escape from here and running as fast as I could back to Zaraki and safety, or what felt like safety to me.
"You weren't there, Rangiku, when he mentioned it. Do you know what it was like believing everything you're told, accepting lies as truth? He told me you seduced him and I believed him. It crushed me, but by then I wasn't feeling much at all and it made it easier to pretend I didn't care. In some ways it protected you," he said, his belief in his words evident in his tone.
"No, it didn't," I said. "Losing my oldest friend and not knowing why made me feel I couldn't trust anyone. We were so close for so long and even though you used me, it always seemed you cared," I tried sorting through my thoughts trying to work out how best to explain how I'd felt.
"Let the past lie, Rangiku. We're here now. Admit you love me and we can be together."
"How come you're free?" This was the question I needed to ask. "What happened to free you of Aizen's control." Perhaps it was late to ask now, but it might give me some understanding of what was currently happening.
His smile became sly and cynical. "If a person is prepared to turn traitor for the promise of power, think how easily he will betray any former allies if additional power is promised."
Pulling apart the words he'd used I tried to make sense of it. It didn't make a lot of sense to me. "Who and what do you mean? Are you talking about Tosen?"
I hadn't heard Gin laugh for a long time and there was bitterness mixed with the humour. What other experiences had changed him into this man?
"Tosen. The tame blind man who stares at screens he can't see? The man who is so grieved by the death of one woman he is prepared to destroy any person who is a Shinigami, even himself?"
Obviously not Tosen and it was highly unlikely Aizen might betray himself.
"Who?"
"Isn't it apparent?"
Of course it was. We'd spoken about the man earlier, the man who had been actively working with Aizen ever since his release from the Maggot's Nest. "Why did Kurotsuchi assist you in getting free?"
"He has his reasons," was the smooth reply.
This time I wasn't prepared to accept the assurance, I wanted a proper answer. If the 12th Division Captain had been working with Aizen for this long and not been under his control there must be a powerful inducement for him to play traitor to another traitor. "What reasons, Gin?"
Now he looked uncomfortable and shifted his stance a little. "I don't know. It doesn't matter. The result is more important than the reasons."
"Yes, it does matter. Power is part of it, but there has to be more than that. He hates me and has made it plain every time I've talked to him. He even provided the poison which is causing me to forget how old I am and has he even developed a cure for that?"
When he answered, he tried to sound as if he were certain he knew he was correct, but the assurance sounded false. "Yes, of course he has the antidote. He must."
Crossing my arms I looked at him sternly. "You're not certain."
"If he created the poison he must know the antidote." He nodded as he spoke as if affirming his words. Was he trying to convince me, or himself?
Once more I marvelled at my friend's ability to assert things of which he wasn't certain. If I didn't know him as well as I did, believing him would be easy.
"You're repeating the same words with even less enthusiasm than before. Don't you know?" I wanted an answer and all these words weren't me any closer to understanding much. I knew Kurotsuchi was the traitor, but most of us had already guessed. The affirmation of our suspicions didn't make a difference, but all the other undisclosed information was valuable.
"He will create it. I'll make certain of it," he assured me with his normal air of condescension.
So many new facts were now available to me, it seemed imperative each was confirmed. "Gin, this is all so new to me. You're saying Kurotsuchi has been assisting Aizen ever since he was released from the Maggot's Nest?"
"He hates Urahara and dismisses him as lightweight as he didn't admit Kurotsuchi was the better scientist. He also hate Yamamoto for confining him within the Maggots Nest."
I nodded as it all made sense. "Did Aizen try to control him?"
Gin sighed. "I don't know, nor have I ever tried to find out. I don't care."
That sounded exactly like Gin. "Probably not as the man is prepared to help you, unless it is the classic double bluff."
Raising an eyebrow Gin said with a small reprimand noticeable, "Don't you think I can tell a double bluff?"
"Not always. Aizen managed to work around you."
He fell silent, but I wanted to continue. "I'm a fast healer and Aizen wants to breed for these healing abilities but only someone he has chosen. To make me malleable some drug was given to me last time I was here to make me regress. And you didn't know I was pregnant."
There was a pause and he nodded. "All true."
"Until recently you were under Aizen's control until Kurotsuchi gave you something which broke his zanpakuto's power. I wonder what it is?"
Again there was the slight struggle as he tried to answer, and answer honestly. "I don't know, but we arranged it when I was hiding in the Seireitei. He got it to me when he came on this mission."
That answered the timing question I was preparing to ask. His freedom had been relatively brief, but had Aizen noticed? I asked.
In answer to my question, Gin looked pleased with himself. "If I don't know how to fool people into believing what they expect to be true, how did I manage in the Seireitei so many years?"
I smiled sadly. "You weren't as successful as you think. Aizen was much better at hiding what he really was."
The tightening of his lips indicated he wasn't pleased with my reply. "You knew me. Aizen made damned sure no one knew the real person behind the facade. Even Tosen wasn't as unknown as Aizen. It seems anyone who knew an incriminating fact about Aizen simply disappeared."
Which would explain why everyone saw him as the perfect, kind captain. It made me wonder how close I'd come to disappearing, but having stubbornly refused to name the rapist and confiding only in Renji had protected me. No one would believe Renji held a grudge against his former Captain for a good reason. He'd been caught fighting and behaving belligerently toward senior officers. Anything he'd said might be misinterpreted as resentment.
I didn't want to dwell on that thought. "You're now free and the only reason you became friendly with Aizen was you wanted to protect me as you saw him trying to experiment on me."
He nodded.   So many convoluted notions and motivations. While it was interesting in many ways it wasn't relevant. Talking about the past was depressing and though new facts were being revealed they might not help. Even if Gin was free, whose side was he on? A simple question might test his loyalty.
"Let me go, Gin."
"No. You belong with me. I'll protect you."
"You can't protect me. What if Aizen works out what is going on and gains control over you again?" Remaining within easy reach of the man filled me with a mixture of fear and disgust.
"It won't happen, Ran. We'll get married. He won't touch you."
I shook my head. He may not still be under Aizen's control, but his grip on reality wasn't firm. Once I would have rejoiced at the thought of marrying Gin, but in these circumstances, it was a bad idea. Aizen would possibly continue in his plan to breed me like a prize animal until he'd achieved the results he wanted. Aside from that, sleeping with Gin held no attraction for me anymore. "I'm married to Captain Kenpachi Zaraki through choice. I love him and don't want to leave him. Staying here is not an option and marrying you is out of the question. The longer I remain here, the more intense is the risk."
He sat down and rested him arms on the table as if thinking about something. "If I force Kurotsuchi to make the antidote to the memory loss, will you stay?"
The question wasn't fair. Losing my memory was causing problems no matter where I was. Staying with Gin might result in eventually being refused the temporary antidote and losing so much of myself and even if Gin tried to get the full antidote, there was no guarantee it would happen. If I could obtain a sample of the original drug, it might be enough to formulate a full cure. Kurotsuchi was not predictable and he might indeed decide never to release the original or to obtain something which might remove the effects.
"I can't stay, Gin. You know that. Remaining here is not possible. I miss my husband and Aizen would use me as a threat against you and anyone else who cared. Please, let me go."
"I can't let you go. Aizen knows you're here and if you escaped, I'd be suspect. Stay, for a few days. It won't be bad."
That statement wasn't believable. Even the time I'd spent here made me long to put a large distance between me and the people who cared only for destruction. If it were possible I'd take Gin with me, but Aizen would notice and Zaraki might not welcome the addition of my former lover to the rescue mission.
Taking his hands within my own, I tried to look into his eyes but failed as I always had. "Aizen wants me dead, Kurotsuchi wants me dead, Tosen doesn't care and to all the Hollows, Espada and Arrancar I'm a threat."
"Orihime stayed."
Yes, Orihime stayed, but did she have a choice? I shook my head. "The girl wants to be saved. She has a princess fetish and wishes for her handsome prince to defeat the dragon and win her hand. I was saved once, but this time I want to either escape the dragon on my own or slay it myself."
Gin smiled slightly. "You always liked to chase trouble, but Aizen isn't easy to escape from or kill."
I laughed slightly, without humour. "Nor is he a dragon. He's nothing near as noble. More like a dung beetle with a nuclear bomb."
"Now, Ran. That's not very nice to dung beetles who provide a valuable service," Gin chided me gently.
It reminded me of many of the strange and familiar conversations we'd had through the years when we were close, but also provided a clear example of how far apart we'd grown. Whether Aizen was a dung beetle, a dragon or a dangerous man with an appetite for power was unimportant. He existed and held too much power and loyalty to make him too difficult to ignore.
"Let me go, Gin."
"You know it's impossible."
I bit my lip and lowered my eyelids. If I escaped, unless I managed to do something to make it clear Gin wasn't involved in some way, he'd be hurt. It shouldn't matter to me if he was, but it did. We'd been friends for so long.
I tried for compromise. "I'll stay as long as it takes for you to either convince Kurotsuchi to make a full antidote, or until he admits he won't." Even as I spoke I hated the ideas which immediately sprang to mind of how he might dissemble and make promises while all the time merely saying the words without taking any action. The only real way to force action from him was for him to see the advantage. If only there were some way the drug could be administered to him.
But then it struck me again. Aside from the first time, the drug worked on me after I'd had sex with Zaraki. The 12th Division Captain might have ingested the drug at some point but as it was unlikely he had sex, it wouldn't affect him. Was there anyone with such poor self image who'd be prepared to touch him, let alone exchange bodily fluids. The other problem about the drug was it only became effective if the person been close to death and the only time Kurotsuchi had been was when Ichigo's Quincy friend had nearly defeated him.
Even for the faint promise of a cure there was no possibility I'd sleep with the man. Did it have to be sex with another person, or was it possible masturbation might cause the same effects. Then I wondered why he'd made the drug that way. To punish anyone who might be experiencing pleasure with another person? Was he that perversely jealous?
We were at an impasse. How could it be resolved?
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A.N.
Banging my head against the wall helps sometimes. I don't recommend it to anyone else.
Soundtrack
'Truth from Fiction' Supreme Beings of Leisure
'Set You Free' N-Trance
'No Women Allowed' Captain Tinrib
'O Superman (For Massenet)' Laurie Anderson
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