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A Shadow of What Was	By : katami Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 49594 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Author's Notes: I am going to have to start a support group for you one-shot people, I really am. I can hardly imagine going through all forty-one (now two) chapters in one read. It is certainly flattering though. I love knowing people are enjoying this story.

Acmarache gets a cookie! Very well spotted on Byakuya's hidden agenda with Ulquiorra. There's nothing like killing two birds with one stone (Sex and someone to help with paperwork. It's brilliant!). And I'm very glad everyone liked seeing them.

Once again, we are following different people over the same period of time. I'm sorry if it is confusing, but the story kind of requires it.

* * *

By the time they were clear of the crowd's eyes, Renji and Grimmjow were the only things keeping Kisuke on his feet. He swayed unsteadily between them. His legs felt like jelly, there was a hollow, empty feeling in his stomach, and his head was throbbing. He had pushed too hard to escape, his rage making him reckless and lending him strength. Strength he couldn't afford to toss around. And now he was paying for his rash behavior. He would need food and rest - soon.

"Are you all right? asked Ishida, eyeing him with a bit of concern. "We can find you a room and let you rest. Worry about the clothes later."

He was considering it when the choice was taken out of his hands. Grimmjow swept him up, cradling him like a baby and earning slight frowns from Ishida and Abarai. "Rest and food first, ya damned brat," grumbled the Arrancar as Kisuke glared at him.

"I am not a brat and I am able to take care of myself," he growled, making the Arrancar rumble a chuckle and sneer at him.

"Prove it," challenged Grimmjow, making Abarai and Ishida smirk.

"I will find Mizuno-kun a room in the Fifth if you can find him some clothing, Renji?" murmured Ishida.

The redhead nodded. "Make sure he's close to us. And check on Kira, will ya?" He turned to Kisuke with a smile, "Any colors you want aside from green?"

He sighed as the redhead pinned his favorite color, a little annoyed to find Urahara had also liked green. "Blues, black, and light grays are good too," he mumbled around a yawn.

The captain nodded his understanding and started off down the hall. "The Fifth is over in the next wing, it's this way," murmured Ishida, leading them back to the last intersection and turning. Within only a few minutes they were in a different set of corridors and then Ishida was stopping in front of a totally nondescript door. Kisuke wondered for a moment how the Shinigami found anything when all their doors and halls looked the same.

"How the hell do these people find anything?" he muttered darkly, not looking forward to navigating the Shinigami's lair.

"Reiatsu markers. Ya could feel them if ya weren't so tired," muttered Grimmjow, giving him a glare that seemed to be scolding. Grimmjow was turning out to be worse than his mother.

His family!

He hadn't thought about them in days but his house was gone and he had been missing for...Five days? A week? How long had it been? He struggled in Grimmjow's grasp, trying to sit up, trying to figure out how long he had been gone.

What if Aizen had taken them!

"Stop that," growled Grimmjow as his breathing grew quick and shallow.

"My family! My parents!"

"Calm down. Calm down, Kisuke," murmured Ishida, reaching out hesitantly to touch his arm, the gesture earning a curious look from Grimmjow. "Your parents are fine, I promise. One of our teams was waiting at the house. We altered their memories so they wouldn't worry about you. Or worry about what had happened to the house. We currently have them hidden in Tokyo," soothed the older man.

"They know I'm all right?" whispered Kisuke, not being able to stand the idea of them worrying about him, not knowing if he was alive or dead, if he was coming back.

"They think you're on an extended school trip to your school's sister school in France. You are staying in a very nice little town about two hours outside of Paris with a lovely family. The internet connection in the area is not the best so you write letters, one a week, to let them know how you are doing," explained the archer, looking just a bit smug. Kisuke once again saw the flash of another man's face, but nothing more came and he pushed it away with a sigh.

His family was safe. Aizen didn't have them. He sighed softly in relief, and sagged in Grimmjow's embrace, letting his eyes slip closed. As long as they weren't worried about him, it was all right. His life had always been strange - what with ghosts and dreams. What were Shinigami and kidnappings and evil overlords added on to all the other weird? He could handle it, adapt. But his parents didn't need to know. They didn't need to know all the lies he'd told them and all the things he had kept from them.

"Your life will be waiting when you're ready to return to it, Kisuke. I promise.

"Now, this is your room, I'll mark it for you," murmured Ishida, his hand going to the door for a moment and a cool wash of power, like a winter stream, flowed over them as his reiatsu touched the door. "Renji and I are just across the way from you if you need anything," he said, motioning to the other door before opening the door to what were to be his quarters and letting Grimmjow carry him inside.

Kisuke glanced around the new place as Grimmjow carried him to a couch and deposited him gently. Ishida got him a pillow and a blanket but let the Arrancar tuck him in.

"Stay put," growled Grimmjow, glaring at him. "Where the fuck can I find him food?" he snapped, rounding on Ishida. The Quincy shot the Arrancar a huffy look, pushing his glasses up his nose and drawing himself up straight and tall.

"The mess is back in the central hub," retorted Ishida as Grimmjow shoved his hands in his pockets and started toward the door.

"Good. Watch the kitten while I get him something to eat," ordered the Arrancar. Ishida shook his head, looking annoyed before he sighed and apparently decided to drop the issue.

"Would you like something to drink, Mizuno-kun? Tea?"

"No tea," growled Grimmjow from the doorway. "Give him one of those sports things - the ones that put back all those rocks he needs."

"Minerals. He means minerals and salts," murmured Kisuke with a sigh and a faint smile for the direction the Arrancar had gone. Ishida nodded his understanding and went to get him a drink from the rooms he shared with Renji, giving Kisuke a chance to study his new cage.

It was comfortable, decorated mostly in blues and grays that Kisuke thought were meant to be soothing. There was a small living area with a couch, two chairs, a little glass coffee table and an end table with a lamp. To the left of that was a small kitchen and to the right he could just make out a bedroom. He was tempted to explore it, but the couch was comfortable and he was tired. He could guess at its contents anyway - a bed, a small chest of drawers, and a little bedside table. The bath room was probably off of that, he reasoned, closing his eyes and drifting for a moment until he heard Ishida.

"Would you like me to go? Let you sleep?" asked the Quincy softly.

"No, I'm alright. I just need to sit for awhile," he murmured, forcing himself to sit up a little. He downed half the drink in just a few gulps, his body taking over once it was offered liquid and sugar. He forced himself to slow down and cap the bottle, setting it aside. He wasn't sure how long he had been in the lab and if he went too fast he might be sick.

He glanced at Ishida, blushing faintly. "You're his...Kurosaki-san's friend, right?" Kisuke asked softly, staring at his hands which were grasping the blanket .

Ishida sighed heavily and a small, wistful smile tugged at his lips. "I suppose I could be called such. Why? Is there something you'd like to know?"

Kisuke nodded and gnawed on his bottom lip not sure how to put into word what he wanted to know. What he needed to know. He had to understand though. The dreams were getting stronger, the memories more pronounced. Urahara wasn't leaving him. Denying him wasn't working which only left trying to understand this man he had been - finding ways to minimize his impact and control.

There was also a certain dark fascination and wonder about the man. What had he done to engender such devotion from Ichigo? Why did Kurosaki still want him? Why had he ever wanted him? Kurosaki Ichigo was handsome, powerful and noble - a born hero. What drew a person like that to someone like Urahara, to whom rules were mere suggestions? A man who could do almost anything in the name of the greater good?

"Kurosaki...he...he really loves-loved him, didn't he?" he murmured softly, releasing the blanket and clenching his fists, his nails digging into his palms hard enough to break the skin, frightened at the idea of venturing too near the topic of his former self and said self's lover.

A delicate, long fingered hand touched his, giving them a gentle squeeze. Gray eyes shot up and locked with blue, lost and frightened; but Ishida's smile was soft and filled with understanding. "Ichigo once said that Urahara was the only person he'd ever met who ever saw him just as he was. Urahara never saw him as a savior or a monster; was never afraid of him or idolized him. He never treated Ichigo as anything other than his friend, he held him when he cried and teased him to make him smile. So yes, I would say he loved Urahara a great deal."

And still does.

The words were unspoken but Kisuke heard them as clearly as if Ishida had said them. He tore his gaze from Ishida's, certain that he would start crying any second if he didn't turn away. "I've...I've seen things...How could he love someone who could...could..."

Ishida gently took his hands, frowning at the crescent shaped cuts in his skin. "I won't lie to you, Kisuke. Urahara Kisuke was not a hero. He was not a brave man or a noble man. He lied and manipulated. His methods were harsh, brutal and bordering on sadistic. In short, he did terrible things."

The Quincy caught his eyes and Kisuke felt like a mouse staring up a cat. "The one thing Urahara was though, was a good man. Everything he did was for the greater good. With his brains he could have ruled Soul Society. With Hougyoku he could have made himself a Vaizard and taken over the Gotei 13. He didn't though. Once he understood what Hougyoku was and how dangerous it was he tried to stop it.

"And he never did anything Ichigo didn't ask him to do first. Even Ichigo will tell you as much," murmured Ishida with a smirk that sent the blood rushing to Kisuke's cheeks.

"Would you mind if I asked you something?" asked the Quincy. Kisuke shook his head and tried to look anywhere but at the older man. He didn't want to talk about Ichigo anymore, not when he could still remember the feel of his hands, the taste of his skin�he shivered and pushed the memories away.

"What is your relationship to Jeagerjaques?"

He blinked in surprise, clearly startled. "I guess he's sort of my friend. He took care of me when I was with the Arrancar - treated my wounds and kept Ulquiorra away. And he helped me with my kidou and told me things....about who...about Urahara," he finished. Grimmjow was also one of the few people who honestly didn't want anything from him - anymore at least. It was refreshing and helped remind him that there was more than just Urahara's happiness at stake - he deserved a chance to live his own life and be happy.

"We managed to dig out some your things," ventured Ishida. "I'll have someone bring them by later. You can always tell one of the younger officers to get you anything you need. We always have people out in the town." Kisuke nodded his understanding, smiling faintly in thanks.

Grimmjow didn't bother knocking, just opened the door with a startlingly loud bang. "They had something called curry," he told Kisuke, handing him a plate. "The smell is overpowering so you should love it. Still don't know why you can't eat normal smelling things."

Kisuke giggled, attacking the food with relish and even Ishida smiled faintly. Grimmjow prowled around the little apartment like a cat, inspecting it, but always circled back to check on him every few minutes. Kisuke finished half the plate and the rest of his drink before sighing happily, sinking back deeper into the couch and drifting to sleep almost instantly.

"Is he alright?" he thought he heard Ishida whisper.

"Yeah, doing a lot of kidou really sucks it out of him. A few hours and he'll be up and back to being a pain in the ass," Grimmjow assured the other man softly, as Kisuke felt a his blankets shift a tiny bit. Then everything was black and he knew no more.
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A Shadow of What Was