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For The Love of a Friend	By : orionshadow Category: Bleach > Het - Male/Female Views: 32416 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Tite Kubo owns Bleach and the characters depicted therein.   The characters in this story are not mine, except for the original characters. I make no money from the publication of this work.
Friends Again
It was taking too long and waiting only made him imagine nasty things happening in the room. Iemura helping Momo suffocate Matsumoto, or more vicious accusations being uttered against his lieutenant. Momo might be sobbing, but she cried so often it didn't indicate she wasn't injuring her friend. He idly pictured the tears rolling down her cheeks as she tried to stab Matsumoto earlier. It might be a fantasy but he remembered her apparent grief when she was fighting him after accusing him of Aizen's 'murder'.
Did all women cry when they were angry? If so, how could you tell if they were angry or unhappy or happy? Momo cried when she was experiencing any of these feelings. Sometimes he'd found Matsumoto crying and she'd assured him she was fine and she wasn't really crying. Her eyes were simply wet for some reason or another. If he tried to argue with her, or obtain more information she would either shrug and pretend to sleep or hug him tightly, distracting him with his attempts to be free of her embrace.
The sight of tears didn't disturb him as much as the heartfelt sobbing and seeming need to feel the maximum amount of pain to enhance the experience. It was impossible that every woman gave way to grief in that manner. If Soi cried, she would bite her lip and dash the tears away angrily and then deny they existed. She wouldn't indulge in thoughts or words to make her despair even greater.
Resolutely, he opened the door and entered, not bothering to knock or otherwise indicate he was checking on them. If there was a problem he wanted to know as soon as possible. If Matsumoto was harmed in any way, swift justice was required. Even under lockdown some dimwit was certain to seek further revenge and the Seireitei was in enough turmoil already.
Three pairs of eyes turned to the door and with a rush of relief he noticed no one was injured. Iemura was standing very close to Momo looking happier than Toshiro could remember seeing the man. Not just happy but almost transported with joy (and Toshiro could not imagine which destination had been chosen). The bitter man who apparently blamed Toshiro and Matsumoto for Momo's behaviour, almost regarded Toshiro with friendship. Momo had been crying, but even she looked less wretched than normal. His lieutenant looked shocked. She was trying her best to appear relaxed and in control of her emotions, but he knew her too well for it to succeed.
“What’s happening?” It was an appropriate question.
“Lieutenant Hinamori has agreed to become my wife. I get a wife and a baby all in one package.” Now the man was crying! Were tears catching? Or was Iemura an emotional guy? He decided not to look or comment. If he said anything his eyes might start watering in sympathy.
Then the words sunk in. Iemura was marrying Momo. Momo was getting married and he need not ask her! He was free of the need to do the honourable thing.
He had to tell Soi. The first thing he knew was he wanted Soi to know was he needed to talk to her. The letter. He'd finish the letter and send it to her with the hornet carving he'd been carrying in his pocket. It was hers. She deserved it and anything else she desired, especially if she desired him. Glancing toward the door he considered offering quick words of condolence, no congratulations, and then finishing the letter. It might seem rude, but too much time had been spent indulging Momo and her problems; now he might consider his own.
“May I have a moment with the Lieutenant, alone?”
Matsumoto's gentle voice drew his attention. It was possible her request was genuine, or she witnessed his desire to leave. It didn't matter, but she did not permit him to miss her quick glance at Iemura. She wanted the man removed and he couldn't blame her. While it might be the happiest day of his life, he didn't need to cry. While it was difficult to understand why a female cried when she was happy, it made even less sense for a man to cry.
“Do you feel safe?” he asked.
Foolish question. She'd deny feeling under any threat as it might hurt Momo's feelings.
“I promise I will not hurt Ran. She’s my friend and I was wrong earlier. Please let me talk to her alone. She’s the only one who will understand."
It was no surprise Momo was shedding more tears. At least Matsumoto didn't seem to be leaking from the eyes on this occasion.
Toshiro nodded and grasping Iemura by the elbow, as he was certain his eyesight would be affected by the salt water, steered him through the door and out of the room.
"Comis.., I mean congratulations. Momo is a," what words were best used in a situation like this? Senior officer? Delusional? No, he had to temper his opinion, "good friend of mine. We grew up together. Do not hurt her."
Instead of the expected denial he received a smile as the man wiped his eyes. "She will be treated like a princess from a noble house."
That wasn't what he needed to hear. "She needs to be treated as a person; not a princess, otherwise she won't understand there are consequences to every action."
"Princesses are people." Iemura didn't understand.
For a second, Toshiro considered explaining, but decided against it. The conversation needed to happen, but not now. He had a letter to finish.
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Her cheeks flushed with anger, Soi stormed out of First Division. The man was intolerable! No! Worse. He was a man. The pre-emptory summons to meet with him in 1st Division, regardless of other anything she might be doing irritated her. Yes, he was her superior officer, but so what?
Guiltily she recalled a few times when she had done similar things to her subordinates, but she was a Captain with many responsibilities, not some person charged with simple tasks.
A rueful smile crossed her face. If she changed her attitude and methods of dealing with her people, rumours might spread. Yet, she was feeling charitable. It had been difficult to sleep the previous night. The scraps of paper were in her sleeve, pieced together and pasted on another piece of paper.
Why had he written the words? Was he writing a letter to her and if so why? Did he miss her as much as she missed him?
Sternly she put those thoughts aside. Gushing sentimentality was fine for his little thick headed friend but not for Soi. Any tendency to act like a love sick fool should have been cured by her relationship with Yoruichi, or solely directed at her, not straying to Toshiro.
Did he like soppy females? Was it Momo's overly emotional nature which had attracted him to her? He seemed so cold and distant most of the time. Perhaps her ability to express her feeling appealed to him, but then, why was he writing words of love to her.
Quickly removing the paper from her sleeve once again she checked that it was her name that was written. Soi. It was Soi and he was one of the few people who called her by that name. It had to be from him. She recognised the handwriting and the coincidence of it being in the room where they had been together was too great for it to be anyone else, wasn't it? A warm feeling overtook her but she didn't trust it. She was angry with Yamamoto and should not be thinking about romance. The man had ordered her to take the 10th Division lieutenant to both 10th and 11th Division to assure everyone she had recovered. When she'd suggested that returning the 11th Division's 3rd seat and 5th seat might help, he'd ignored her words and dismissed her with a wave of his hand.
The whole thing was a disaster, except Rangiku was alive and if Toshiro had any sense left to him, his adoration of Momo might have cooled slightly as she was the one responsible. All this uproar over the actions of a simpleton who had been given too much consideration and latitude. No one had even guessed she was a danger, not even Soi. Or had it been her acting alone, or the influence of another? Had the visit by Akon triggered a psychotic outburst, or was there more happening than she noticed? Poison clung to the blades; was another subtle poison administered to Momo to cause her to act so differently?
One more twinge of conscience reminded her that her members of her Division were on watch and failed to prevent the incident. Yamamoto had mentioned that more than once and she had remained tight lipped, not responding to his accusations that as she was the Captain, the responsibility rested with her. Complacency was the problem. No one had even questioned the reason one of Kurotsuchi's closest subordinates had requested to see Momo and even seemed to find it peculiar even though there was no evidence of friendship between them. As soon as she returned to her Division she would meet with all under her command and remind them of their responsibilities and duties. Their reflected failure grated on her considerably and it could not be permitted to continue.
Her lips forming into a firm line she wondered again if this was partly due to her lieutenant keeping important information to himself. Knowledge was power, ignorance was bliss and the fat fool was incompetent. Ignorance wasn't bliss. When ignorance was replaced with enlightenment, pain was part of the process.
"Not always," she found herself thinking. "I didn't know Toshiro loved me."
Startled by the stray thought she ignored the warm sensation that spread from her centre outwards and considered. Showing Rangiku to the relevant Divisions was her priority, but she didn't wish to return to 4th Division. Knowing Toshiro was there might tempt her to seek him out; possibly talk to him, idly produce the letter and see his reaction.
This scenario flitted briefly though her imagination and as quickly vanished. If she were a different person she might act in the manner she was imagining, but she wasn't, so she wouldn't and there would be no quick resolution to the problem.
She frowned. Quick resolutions were better, yet this had already been dragging on. She wouldn't talk to him, he wouldn't talk to her. Every time they were near each other, they pointedly didn't exchange glances, or talk directly unless it was essential.
From being 'sex buddies', she refused to think the term 'lovers' in context of their time together, they were hostile acquaintances. She was scared any time she spent with him might cause her to loosen her strict control over her emotions and say or even act in a way which might hint at the truth. So often she sought to reach the truth, to prove the truth and now she was avoiding the truth.
"Tchah! What's the proof of truth?" she said aloud and then giggled at her inadvertent rhyme.   It felt strange to laugh at her own words, especially as she hadn't been amused by anything for a long time.
Rather than taking a direct route to 4th Division, she walked until she was certain members of her elite squad were shadowing her.
"Show yourselves," she commanded.
Immediately three black clad forms appeared, crouching before her. "Your commands, Sir?"
"Await Lieutenant Rangiku Matsumoto in 4th Division. When she is discharged, bring her directly to me. I will await her here. Guard her at all times and do not permit anyone to approach her."
Without awaiting her dismissal, the three vanished.
One small problem solved; all the large ones still awaited a resolution.
Maybe Matsumoto might help?
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Toshiro sat at a Retsu's table. Hanatoro had supplied him with an ink stone and the other necessary writing paraphernalia and he took the letter out of his sleeve and smoothed it out.
"Soi,
You are the only Captain I trust to exercise good judgement in these difficult circumstances."
It was cold, but still it was a beginning. At the same time he wanted to tell her he loved her, but decided it would be too painful if she didn't feel the same way. Writing the words made it real; if she read them, the words could not be recalled but would linger forever in her memory and provide an opening to her derision and disgust.
"I regret the misunderstandings which have come between us and caused what seems to be an irreparable rift. Most of the fault is mine. Words were spoken without due consideration to the situation."
He reread what he had written. The words were plain, but also could be interpreted many ways by anyone who did not know the background. At the same time, the admissions and acceptance of the fault, stung.
"Is it possible to put the past behind us? For us to meet and with the wisdom of experience talk to each other and reach an understanding which may, eventually, lead to friendship?"
He was getting a little soppy here and normally Soi might reject the goad, but at the same time she was deeply sentimental, at least where Yoruichi was concerned. It was time she stopped mourning the loss of her friend/lover and at least made new friends.
"I have missed hearing your thoughts about the events which are taking place too rapidly. Please, Soi, forgive me."
He wrote the last words in a rush, wanting to write them and at the same time fiercely trying to deny they needed to be written. It was humbling. He hated being humble or even saying sorry. What if she saw it as a sign of weakness?
Then he remembered the hornet figurine he still carried in his pocket. It was beautifully carved and valuable. Flowers might indicate romance, chocolates the same, but a figurine which acknowledged the form of her shika might please her. It wasn't romantic, at least not in the conventional sense.
"As a token of my sincerity I send this statuette to you and hope you will accept it in the spirit in which it is given."
Now, how was he to sign the dratted thing? He couldn't say 'love', or 'sincerely' or any of the other normal endings. Finally he simply signed 'Toshiro Hitsugaya' and without reading it over slipped it and the figurine into the envelope he'd prepared, sealing it before he could change his mind.
Rising abruptly from the seat he left the room. He had to give it to someone he trusted to deliver it now, as his fingers already itched to tear the paper into as many pieces as was necessary to make it impossible to ever put together. The situation could not be permitted to continue. His concentration was at its lowest when he needed to be more focused than ever before.
There was only one person he felt it possible to trust. His lieutenant would give the package into Soi's hands. Her curiosity might be aroused, but as he thought about Matsumoto he came to a sudden realisation. This was why Zaraki had insisted on a speedy marriage against all the objections. He'd fallen in love where he never expected to find love and didn't want to lose a moment of it. Whether he knew he was in love or it was purely sexual enjoyment, Toshiro wasn't certain, but he had no doubt the 11th Division Captain loved his wife, or she loved him in return.
Before he could go to the room, Hanatoro requested his attention. Impatiently, Toshiro listened and as the man spoke he felt more worried and relieved than he'd thought possible.
"Lieutenant Hinamori was not only acting as a result of the revelations," Hanatoro spoke quietly. "There was a substance in her system which made it impossible to control her feelings, but instead intensified them. If she would normally feel irritated with news, or slightly upset or disappointed, the substance would intensify the emotion until it became overwhelming. "
There was such a substance available? Immediately Toshiro guessed where the drug had originated. "Twelfth Division.   Akon gave the drug to Momo in the cup of water!"
"We believe that is what happened. Fortunately, it wore off very quickly. I am amazed Lieutenant Hinamori managed to control her emotions as long as she did and not attack anyone aside from Lieutenant Matsumoto. Even so, given the strength of the compound, she must have been fighting against the effects, otherwise her rage would have made certain she would not miss..."
"And Matsumoto would be dead," Toshiro finished for him.
Momo wasn't the crazy, unrestrained creature he'd seen screaming and attempting to harm his friend. She' d been at war with herself and had prevented too much harm coming to Matsumoto. He felt a sudden rush of forgiveness well through him toward Momo and a consuming anger at the people who sought to use friends against friends for whatever twisted and sick purposes they followed. How could he be certain that Aizen hadn't used the power of his zanpakuto to change Momo into the dependent obsessed person she was? She had forgiven everything he'd done, allocating the deed to another person. He'd seen how Kira had changed under the not so gently tutelage of Ichimaru. How did he know what interactions occurred between Momo and her beloved Captain?
Acting quickly he opened the door of the room where he'd left Matsumoto talking to Momo and a speedy observation proved that Momo had not attempted to further harm her friend. Breathing a sigh of relief he said, “Momo needs her rest. You are to carry a package to Captain Soi Fong. Would you please make sure it is delivered into her hand and her hand alone?" The last few words were difficult to utter without emphasising or placing special significance on them. It was unlikely Momo might notice the emphasis, but Matsumoto was more perceptive.
With eyebrows raised and a questioning look on her face, Matsumoto took the package from him. “Yes, Captain."
She wanted to ask him about it, but he was surprised to note her restraint. She left the room and he wondered briefly if he should remind her she needed to dress in her uniform, but Momo immediately elicited his attention with a question.
"Have you forgiven me?" Her voice was uncertain and there was a slight tremor present as if she expected him to give a cruel reply.
He turned the question back to her. "Has Matsumoto forgiven you?"
She nodded. "Yes. She forgave me. "
Hands folded in her lap and her eyes downcast she seemed subdued.
Now Matsumoto had gone, it seemed the restraints were no longer necessary. Not daring to think of the reception of his letter, he busied his hands, releasing her bonds, more gently than she expected he noticed because of the amount of tension present in her body.
"Thank you for asking Ran to talk to me. She has been my friend through all of this and never tried to hurt me. You have been my friend too, Toshiro. I know I've disappointed you by my devotion to Captain, I mean Aizen. I can't say I don't still love him, because I do, but I know he is a traitor."
The words stunned him. Momo was admitting that Aizen was a traitor? What had happened?
"When I realised I nearly killed someone who had tried to help me, it made me think hard. I can't stop loving him simply because I know he is..." she hesitated as if scared of saying the next word. "I know he is evil," she admitted with a deep sigh.   "Ichimaru hurt Ran because she loved him and maybe he fell out of love with her. Aizen hurts people because...." again she paused. "I don't know why he hurts people."
Ever since she had joined the Academy and encountered Aizen for the first time he had never heard these types of admissions that the perfect man and captain was less than perfect. The shock she'd experienced had obviously forced Momo to re-evaluate her ideas. From the sad look in her eyes it was obvious that the forced growth she'd experienced had hurt her deeply and time was needed for her to recover her equilibrium.
Sitting down opposite her once she was free he held her hands and looked into her eyes, which were raised questioningly to his. There was a glint of moisture which indicated Momo was close to tears. The admission had hurt her, he was certain, but now she had finally admitted to some of the truth, while the pain might be raw, it would pass. Her delusions had protected her and perhaps it was the reason she'd clung to them for so long.
"Ran needs to be with her husband, Toshiro. If I can be used as a weapon against her, then anyone can, maybe even you."
She was right. Momo was thinking about something other than her own problems and was seeing the situation clearly.
"I don't think Hueco Mundo will be safer." Sending his lieutenant to the place where her enemies lived, knew the terrain and had strong allies was a mistake he wasn't going to make.
"Two of our strongest Captains are there and Kenpachi won't let anyone hurt Ran..." her voice trailed off. "I mean he will be even more protective."
"She'd be safer in the human world." He voiced his belief aloud.
"Who there could protect her? "Mr Urahara and Miss Yoruichi?"
The suggestion made Toshiro laugh. "Zaraki wouldn't agree. He doesn't trust Urahara and says he's a pervert."
Momo frowned slightly. "They are both former Captains, one of whom was in charge of the Special Corps."
Hearing that made his heart thump. Even a reference this oblique made him think of Soi and her possible reaction to the letter. She might have read it by now.
"Captain," the term of address shocked him and drew her attention back to the conversation. "Captain, she will find a way of being with her husband whether you agree or not."
It was true, but he didn't want to agree. Zaraki would kill him for certain if Matsumoto suddenly appeared and he couldn't send her alone. It was essential she was accompanied but it was hard to decide which person might be best suited to the task.
Then he remembered the warning the man had issued before he left. The words indicated Zaraki expected his wife to try to join him and he'd hoped Toshiro would be able to stop her.
"When have I ever been able to stop her from doing anything she wanted to do?" He hadn't realised he'd spoken aloud but a small chuckle from Momo informed him he had.
"Ran is headstrong," she agreed. "Did you try to talk her out of getting married?"
He nodded. He'd tried to talk her out of having an affair with the man, let alone marry him, but she hadn't listened. At the time even he had recognised there was not much point in attempting to talk Zaraki out of doing whatever he wished. The only chance had been trying to advise Matsumoto her actions weren't wise but of course she was as stubborn as her husband, but in a different way. She tended toward more passive resistance rather than removing the objection by any unreasonable force. She had smiled sweetly and done what she planned to do, but what else did he expect?
Why try to prevent the inevitable? It was only a matter of time before Matsumoto joined her husband and encountered whatever problems awaited her. If 12th Division were actively working against her, could he trust the Division previously captained by Aizen, Ichimaru and Tosen? While the lieutenants appeared to be friends with his lieutenant, was it possible Aizen had planted some post-hypnotic suggestion to harm designated senior officers of the Seireitei? The man had been planning his defection for years. Was it possible he had even planned to remove further obstacles when all their attention was directed outward, not inward?
Soi might have some ideas. She'd listen and see the flaws in his logic.
Damn. He hoped she'd forgive him. Even if she didn't want to renew the sex, and he was missing that more than he ever expected, he missed her more, even their fights and misunderstandings. He'd prefer to have Soi yell at him and abuse him than Kiyone wrap her arms around him and try to kiss him. He'd experienced both and knew which he preferred.
He hoped Matsumoto would persuade Soi to forgive him.
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A.N.
One family crisis down, only the rest to go.
Soundtrack
'Help Yourself' Death in Vegas
'Hung Up' Madonna
'Starry Eyed Surprise' Paul Oakenfold
'Hypnotic' Holly Vallance
Review. I need to be amused.
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For The Love of a Friend