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A Cupful of Heartache	By : wolfkin59 Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2746 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I neither own Bleach nor make money for writing this story.

Chapter List
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Title: A Cupful of Heartache
Author: Cuzosu
Rating: M
Pairing: Shunsui and Kisuke
Summary: Shihôin Yoruichi has just died, and Tessai is worried for his long-time friend. Ichigo has been and gone, unable to help the blond because the blond didn't want to be found. So the former leader of the Kidô Corps. resorts to more drastic measures...
A/N: Again, bad language, depression...I think that covers it this time.

Nakkinomiko: I'm glad I was able to beat the computer into submission as well. And I laughed at Shunsui's folly when he was pinned to the floor too. Glad you're enjoying this.

Chapter Four:
Tsukabishi Tessai rushed home. He hadn't meant to stay out so late, but Ururu was worried about Urahara and didn't want to be reassured by anyone save the blond himself—and Jinta had persisted in misbehaving (Tessai knew it was the boy's method of distracting Ururu, but it was still frustrating at a time like this) and been no help at all. In the end, he'd had to tell the upset girl that one of the Gotei's captains was helping him look after Kisuke. She'd gone quiet after that—and he still wasn't sure that was a good thing.
He arrived to the certain knowledge that someone (Shunsui) was going to make an entirely unappreciated comment as soon as he walked into the kitchen. Part of him was dreading this, because he felt he deserved it.
But when he stepped into the room and headed straight for the pots and pans, already knowing what he was going to make for a meal...no one spoke. Surprised, he frowned in confusion and turned around.
There was nobody in the room at all. Judging by the fading traces of reiatsu, they hadn't been present for some time. So where were they?
Searching the building didn't take very long for a man so familiar with it as Tessai; he found them within fifteen minutes. They were asleep in a corner of Kisuke's more public lab.
That view, seeing his boss asleep against the wall and Kyôraku slumped half against the blond and half in the younger man's lap...that sight was the single most heartwarming thing Tessai had seen since Shihôin Yoruichi died.
So instead of disturbing their slumber to apologize, the large man backed from the room and slid the door shut softly behind him. A smile quirked his lips as he returned to the kitchen.
He was the right person, then. I was worried when he first arrived. Tessai pulled out the supplies he needed to cook tonight's dinner, a smile lurking about his lips. Kisuke, he's onto you now. Who knew Kyôraku-san could get you to do as he wanted? Rock, meet hard case.
With the memory of the sleeping duo fresh in his mind, Tsukabishi Tessai settled in at the stove.

Shunsui's brow furrowed as he slowly stirred. Something smelled good—something more than just food. Stretching, he tried to remember where he was, only to freeze when his hand brushed feathery hair.
Tilting his head, he looked up into the sleeping face of Urahara Kisuke.
It was one of the most heartwarming sights he'd ever seen, partly because Kisuke hadn't been sleeping much lately and partly because he looked so...so innocent. And innocent wasn't usually Kisuke's forte. The blond was more typically the genius behind any profound wrenches in the plans of his enemies...or the prankster playing jokes on people he cared about.
Though he hasn't done any of that for some time...
Well, maybe Shunsui could fix that. He certainly hoped he could, anyway! Capturing Kisuke and taking him back to Seireitei as a prisoner just wouldn't sit well with him...
And then a swirl of air brought the smell of dinner to his nose. Suddenly, Shunsui wasn't so worried. Though it probably had something to do with the way his stomach growled.
Levering himself up on one arm, the brunet sleepily mumbled, "Hey. Kisuke. Kisuke."
The blond stirred, stretching with a jaw-popping yawn. "Mmmm?" he murmured drowsily.
"Food," was Shunsui's one-word answer.
A frown crossed the shopkeeper's face as he glanced about the room. It was 'food' that helped him realize what was missing: the tray from their lunch. Tessai must have taken it.
But the aroma of this meal stirred something, very vaguely, in his stomach. It could have been hunger, probably was. But it was faint, so very faint, and Kisuke was tired. Tired of fighting, tired of being alone, tired of death... He was just tired. Of everything, if he was honest.
Still, when the brunet reached out and put a hand on his shoulder, gently but insistently guiding him to the dining room, Kisuke didn't resist. It wasn't in him, not right now. Resistance was...too much. He was tired of it.
He was tired of everything.

Shunsui was careful to act blasé during the meal, but inside, he was worried. Very worried. Dull was anathema to Kisuke, but there was no better word to describe the blond as the three men ate dinner.
He wasn't the only one shooting concerned looks at the blond, either. Shunsui'd caught Tessai glancing over periodically as well. One firm yet tired stare and slight head shake had put a stop to that, thankfully; the absolute last thing they needed was Kisuke catching on to their worry. It would only serve to make him even more independent and obstinate, to his own detriment.
So when the blond picked at his food, Shunsui wasn't surprised. Nor was he startled when the Urahara pushed his chair back with a depressed sigh, slumped for a moment, then vanished so abruptly that he seemed a mirage, gone with the blink of an eye.
Tessai frowned.
"Well, that was highly unusual... I might not get much sleep tonight," murmured the brunet. "I'll meander about and see if I can find him again."
As he left, Tsukabishi Tessai exhaled softly in relief. Maybe him being somewhat like Yoruichi is a good thing; he'll find a way to do something for Kisuke, however long it takes.

Shunsui spent most of the next three days wandering the halls and grounds, searching for the blond. He checked the underground training facility, the labs, the kitchen, the shop, the roof... The Urahara was nowhere to be found. So he stretched his senses out – and felt the eccentric ex-captain's reiatsu a few miles away in a park.
When he got there, the blond was up in a tree, reclining against it, with Benihime in his lap. But those eyes... Surrounded by dark circles, with a haunted, empty gaze...
"...I can't sleep," the blond whispered, as if to himself. Eyes a dull gray, he lifted one hand to stare at his palm. "...why...can't I sleep...?"
It tore something in brunet's heart when the blond slumped hopelessly, as if he hadn't a clue how to sleep. And the wound in his heart gaped wider, because he knew that he could not make the first move...not if this eccentric, brilliant man was going to recover fully.
So he tilted his hat and looked up at the other man, a vague smile playing about his lips. "Any time you want, you're welcome to join me. Bed's big enough for two, and if we can't sleep, well, we can always find something else to do."
This would have horrified almost anyone else, but it was probably the right method to use with Urahara Kisuke.
Probably.
Shit, I fucking hope so... Kyôraku Shunsui wasn't often so vulgar with his language, but...this meant a lot to him. More than he was willing to admit.
Hoping was one thing; admitting that he hoped for...he wouldn't even think the words...well, that might jinx him. And Kis-kun. And the last thing the Urahara needed right now was to be jinxed.
So Shunsui smiled slightly and turned to leave, giving the blond a short wave of acknowledgment before he started walking. He'd go snag some sake and take a nap in his room. It had that...scattered Urahara charm. The decorations – and in some areas, lack thereof – were so typical of the blond.
What am I thinking? ...I need a drink.
Sake, that was the solution. To which of his problems, even Shunsui himself wasn't entirely sure. Because while the blond was currently a pain in the ass and he wished – no, he wasn't going there!
...but...was it too much to ask that his task not be quite so difficult? Though he supposed that difficult might as well have been Kis-kun's middle name.
He didn't see gray eyes glint slightly – ever so slightly – green as he walked away.

Kisuke watched the brunet walk away; he'd barely registered the man's words, too lost in depression to pay much attention. He was a man with a high level of focus, one who cared deeply. This, unfortunately, meant that when he lost someone he was close to and didn't have anything else of importance occupying his attention, his state of mind became very dark and tended to stay there.
Right now, he was focused on Yoruichi's death and his own inability to sleep.
But something echoed in his head. Something...what was it...?
Anytime you want, you're welcome to join me. The words echoed in his head. Where did they come from? Who...?
Oh. That's right. Kyôraku-san. Shunsui, his subconscious whispered, so softly he didn't catch it. A flicker of good-humored recognition passed through him, there and gone; perversion of the sexual nature – flirting or teasing, hitting on someone or ogling them – was a pastime of his. One the brunet shared.
...he was so tired...

Kyôraku Shunsui was worried about Urahara Kisuke. The man was barely eating (he'd taken steps to remedy this particular problem by pushing a snack into his hands every few hours) and certainly wasn't getting enough sleep. It was the second issue which was confounding him. But, damn it, he'd done the only thing he could! He'd spoken the words he was sure would inspire the blond to come to him for help!
Sitting up in bed, he ran a hand through his hair, face seeming even more rugged than usual. All this stress was hell on his leisurely naps...
Still, it was for Kis-kun...
He yawned and stood, donning his haori and exiting his room in search of the blond. This search took less time than usual.
Gray eyes glanced up at his arrival, which he hoped was good news. Kis-kun hadn't reacted outwardly to the presence of anyone before this, except to hide. This, while it wasn't something to dance or cheer over, seemed to be an improvement.
Of course, with the Urahara, appearances could often be deceiving. Though his looks currently matched his reality: haggard, worn and sad.
Shunsui sat down next to the other man, drawing a bottle of sake from one sleeve and a pair of cups from the other. It was perhaps not the best habit to have, but it certainly made a sensible way to start a conversation!
As the blond accepted a cup, the brunet said, with a trace of amusement, "You didn't take me up on my offer."
Urahara smiled wanly, sipping sake. "Haven't you heard? I'm a stubborn man. Trying to manipulate me generally backfires."
"I'd heard something like that," admitted the brunet. "Though Tessai mentioned that the young Kurosaki was adept at getting you to do what he wants."
It was a sign of his depression that Kisuke didn't pull out his fan. "We tend to share the same end goals. Besides, I am the one responsible for all the teaching the young Kuchiki girl didn't give him." His eyes darkened, remembering how he'd been the one to insist that yes, Yoruichi should train Ichigo using the three-day method to achieve bankai. She'd stood there with her hands on her hips, asking him if he was sure, really sure.
"Kis-kun?" He didn't seem to register the sound the first time, so Shunsui repeated himself. "Kis-kun? Hey, not responding when someone's talking to you is rude, you know. If Jû were here, you'd get a nice little lecture on that."
That got through. There was even a faint hint of green in gray eyes when Kisuke turned his head to face the other man. "How often have you been given this lecture, then? Surely you know it by heart."
Chuckling, the brunet admitted to himself that the blond had a point. "Okay, okay, ease up! I lose this round." Then he found himself pinned to the spot by the next question.
"And...where did Kis-kun come from?"
Backpedaling desperately, Shunsui countered with, "Ah, that? You know how I am with formality! It just doesn't work for me."
Gray eyes assessed him solemnly, and somehow Shunsui knew they found his answer wanting. Shit.
Draining the last of his sake, Kisuke set the cup next to the brunet and rose to his feet. Shunsui nearly flinched when a hand was set on the shoulder that had previously been wounded, but Tessai did some fine work when he put his mind to it.
"I'll be around," Urahara told him. As he left, he added, "I think."
That last was in no way reassuring.
Shunsui sighed. Looked like he'd have to play another round of Find Kis-kun...
And I put my foot in my mouth when I called him that to his face, damn it. After so many years, you'd think I'd know how to keep my mouth shut when I ought to.

A/N: Heheh, finally, Shunsui calls the blond Kis-kun to his face! xD
This chapter, I kind of wanted it to end happily, but then I kind of wanted it to end on a sad note, too, so it turned out...kind of in between. Still. I hope you enjoyed it anyway!
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A Cupful of Heartache