Break Up 2 Make Up | By : Raceysama Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male > Grimmjow/Ichigo Views: 1451 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor do I make any profit from these works...... |
CHAPTER 4: UP AND DOWN
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach... Onwards... XOXOXO One Week Later He had kissed him. Grimmjow had kissed him. And he'd kissed him back. Ichigo sat in the neighborhood park, swinging morosely on an old swing set, his shoes dragging in the dirt. His hands had a death grip around the lengths of chain connecting the plastic swing to the metal bar it hung from. The sky was a midnight blue, the full moon bright and glowing while stars sparkled around it. The air was balmy and comfortable, while Ichigo was anything but. His mind had refused to settle down since the week before, when he had been out on a double date with Kaien, Shuuhei and Shinji and had encountered his ex. He still couldn't believe the man had kissed him, that he'd kissed him back, but more than that, he couldn't believe the man had claimed not cheating on him. Had Szayel been telling the truth then? Or was he just working with Grimmjow to make it seem as if the guy was innocent, therefore making it possible to get back in Ichigo's good graces? He didn't know. He just didn't know. He did know that the kiss had stirred up a whole hornet's nest of old emotions and feelings; things he'd thought he'd locked away for good. Ichigo should have known better, though. The incident in the bathroom should have alerted him to the fact that he was not quite as over Grimmjow as he'd thought. He'd been naïve. Ichigo rubbed a hand over his brow and stared up at the darkened sky. He was so confused. He didn't know what to think anymore, not to mention, Kaien had been acting strangely since that night as well. Whenever Ichigo called him, he seemed to be busy or just didn't want to talk. Did he know that Ichigo had kissed Grimmjow that night? Or was he just not interested anymore? Ichigo pulled his cell phone from his back pocket and stared at it, contemplating what to do. He wanted to call Kaien, but when he opened the device, his finger dialed an entirely different number on its own. Horrified, but unable to stop himself, he lifted the phone to his ear and listened to the ringing on the other line. His hand was shaking and his heart was on the verge of beating through his ribs. "Ya've reached-" Ichigo disconnected the call before the voice mail message finished. He pressed a hand to his forehead and chuckled softly under his breath. Maybe it was a sign that no one had answered. He should just leave well enough alone and figure out what to do with the other half of his life. He was sliding his phone back into his pocket, when it started ringing. It's like I've been awakened Every rule I had you breakin' It's the risk that I'm takin' I ain't never gonna shut you out He knew without even glancing at the readout who the caller was. He must not have been near his phone when Ichigo called. Everywhere I'm looking now I'm surrounded by your embrace Baby, I can see your halo You know you're my saving grace Ichigo smiled ruefully. He had never had the heart to change the man's ring tone and hearing it now was making his heart pound and his throat constrict as he tried to swallow around the lump that had suddenly formed. You're everything I need and more It's written all over your face Baby, I can feel your halo Pray it won't fade away It was such a girly song, but the words had been so true at the time, he'd felt it would have been a cruel injustice not to assign it as the man's ring tone. The phone stopped ringing, only to start right back up again. Ichigo grinned and shook his head at the guy's persistence. Why the hell had he called him again? Oh, yeah. He was drunk as all hell, trying to figure out why he still had feelings for him. Ichigo lifted the phone and connected the call, not bothering to say a word. "Ichigo?" the deep voice reverberated through the tiny speaker. Ichigo grinned and just listened. "Ichigo? Ya there?" He cleared his throat and finally decided to stop playing around, his mind muzzy and light as a cloud, "Yeah, I'm here," he answered. The man sighed and there was a brief pause before he was speaking again, "Are ya ok? Yer not hurt, are ya?" Leave it to him to still worry about his well-being, even though they were no longer together. Ichigo sighed through his nose and shook his head, wondering why Grimmjow had cheated on him. Or...had he at all? He was so fucking confused. "Why?" Ichigo croaked, the lump in his throat swelling as tears stung the backs of his eyes. His breath puffed out in small bursts and his head was beginning to ache from the puzzlement he was suffering. He picked at a spot on his khaki cargo shorts as he slowed the swing to a stop, digging the heels of his high-top, brown and white Converse sneakers into the soft, sand-colored dirt. "Why what, Ichigo?" Ichigo took a deep breath and leaned his head back, gazing at the stars, a small frown tilting the corners of his mouth. He knew what he wanted to ask. Whether Grimmjow would answer him was a different story. "Why did you kiss me?" He heard the blue-haired man sigh and imagined him running a hand over his face the way he did whenever he was frustrated with something. "I dunno," he mumbled. Ichigo wasn't satisfied with that answer. Not at all. "You're lyin'," he whispered. There was another pause before Grimmjow growled, his voice an irritated rumble, "I shouldna done it, but...I couldn' help myself." "Grimmjow." Ichigo meant to follow up with his next question, but his stomach heaved from all the binge drinking he'd done earlier, so he leaped from the swing, hurling up his toenails off to the side of the metal structure. The plastic seat swung back and forth violently as he clutched his phone to his chest. He could faintly hear Grimmjow calling his name repeatedly, but his head had detached from his body and was currently floating above the stratosphere. He sank to the ground, the grainy dirt clinging to his clothing and skin as he brought his phone back up to his ear. "Ichigo! Whas goin' on? Where are ya?" Grimmjow asked, deep voice panicked. Ichigo grinned and wiped a hand over his face, dirt (or was it really sand? It felt like sand.) spreading across his cheeks, "'Member that park we used to go to? I used to make you push me on the swings?" he asked, hoping his ex hadn't forgotten. Pause. "Yeah," Grimmjow grunted. "I remember." "I'm renem-remembering too," Ichigo sighed and rolled onto his side, his stomach calming down, but his head spinning like a merry-go-round. "Ichigo...yer drunk?" He giggled before a loud hiccup jumped from his chest, making him outright laugh, "Maybe." There was another pause. What was with Grimmjow and his pauses? "Where's yer boyfriend?" he asked and even though Ichigo was drunker than a sailor, he still heard the bitterness in his ex's voice. Ichigo scoffed, "Not my boyfriend." "So wha-" "Come get me, Grimm." "..." "Please," Ichigo added, hoping Grimmjow would actually come. "Ichigo, I don' think-" "Not askin' you to think! I need to see you. Now." This time there was a long pause and Ichigo thought Grimmjow had disconnected the call, until he heard, "I'll be there." Ichigo grinned and lay flat on his back, his arms stretched out at his sides. He was still clutching his phone in his hand and wondering what Grimmjow was thinking. He had meant to ask the man if he'd really cheated on him, or had he meant it when he'd said hadn't cheated? Fuck, he was confused. He'd been alone earlier that evening after getting off work and since it was the weekend, he'd decided to go out on his own. He hadn't been in the mood for any company and truth be told, even if he'd been able to contact Kaien, he didn't think he would have wanted to hang out with the man. Instead he'd gone to Zangetsu's, where the owner was a cool, shade-wearing, older man. Ichigo had only meant to have a few drinks before going home, but Grimmjow had crossed his mind and his confusion had once again set in, making it hard for him to think straight. He'd ended up discussing the details with Zangetsu himself and before he knew it, he was leaving the modest establishment, unable to feel his own fucking toes. He'd made his way on autopilot towards the park he and Grimmjow used to frequent, his mind a whirling jumble of emotions. There were so many questions he wanted to ask his blue-haired ex, but the alcohol, as well as his complex situation, prevented him from doing so. Ichigo lay in the sand, enjoying the warmth of the summer night as he waited for Grimmjow. Would the man even bother to show up? He sighed and stared up at the twinkling stars and the bright, nearly fluorescent moon. What would he do if Grimmjow did show up? What the hell would he say? Strangely, he didn't know and didn't really care. His main urge had been seeing the man. Wait. He knew what he would ask him. A crunching noise distracted him, making him squint over his over his head, his eyes crossing from the awkward position as the noise that turned out to be footsteps stopped. The light from the moon was momentarily blocked as Grimmjow leaned over and peered down into Ichigo's face. He felt his brown eyes crinkle in the corners as he grinned and regarded his ex. "Ichigo, what the hell?" Grimmjow asked, bewilderment creasing his brows. Grimmjow was wearing a sleeveless, white, stretchy-cotton hoodie with a pair of gray and white basketball shorts and white, high-top sneakers. There was no zipper and no buttons on the hoodie and the damned thing seemed to be painted onto the bigger man. Ichigo felt his mouth watering at the sight. He reached through his alcohol hazed mind and struggled to rein in his lust. It was hard. Grimmjow smelled like Dove soap and Jergen's body lotion. He had his hands stuffed into the pockets of his shorts and his chest seemed like it was trying to rip through his hoodie. His hair was in that messy, unkempt style that Ichigo loved and his mouth was pressed into a thin line. "Yer fucked up," Grimmjow stated exasperatedly as he squatted down beside Ichigo. Ichigo nodded and touched the tip of his nose, "Yup." "What're ya doin' in the park?" "Reminisci-ming..." his voice trailed off as he scrunched his nose. That hadn't come out right, but oh well. Grimmjow smirked a bit and Ichigo swooned, his head going light. He stared at his ex and Grimmjow stared right back at him, his electric blue eyes dark and stormy. Ichigo wondered what the man was thinking. "What are you thinking about?" Crikey, he had word diarrhea. Grimmjow scowled and glanced off to his right, "Why'd ya call me, Ichigo?" he asked. Ichigo frowned and sat up after much effort, stuffing his cell phone into his shorts pocket in the process. His world was still tilted on its axis, but Grimmjow deserved an answer to his question and Ichigo would be damned if he didn't give it to him. "Who else was I gonna call?" he ended up asking and even though it was pathetic, it was also true. Grimmjow turned his gaze back in Ichigo's direction, studying him as if he didn't want to forget what he looked like, "Yer inna relationship, ain't ya?" Ichigo arched a brow and his mouth turned down at the corners, "I thought I was. Maybe I'm not anymore," he suggested, giving Grimmjow a coy glance. He could tell Grimmjow wanted to question him, but his pride wouldn't allow him to do so. Good. Ichigo had questions of his own that needed answering. "Grimmjow, did you really cheat on me, or no?" his voice was low and uncertain, but he needed to know. His sanity depended on it. Grimmjow looked away and ran a hand over his sharp, angular features, his brows drawn in concentration, "Ichigo-" "Don't fuckin' lie to me!" Ichigo snapped, overcome by impatience and curiosity. Grimmjow's brows jumped to his hairline as he stared at Ichigo in shock. He looked as if he knew what he wanted to say, but wasn't sure if he should. Ichigo pursed his lips and glared at the blue-haired man. He wasn't letting him out of his sight until he was satisfied with the answers he received. Drunk or not, he needed the truth. "Well?" Grimmjow narrowed his pretty blue eyes and lowered himself to the sand beside Ichigo. His lips were balled up and his jaw was stiff. Was he finally going to spill the beans? After what seemed like a lifetime of waiting, Grimmjow finally spoke. "No. I didn' cheat on ya, Ichi," he muttered, unable to meet Ichigo's eyes. Ichigo, on the other hand, was having a hard time dealing with the emotions suddenly residing in his throat at hearing his old nickname coming from the man. He felt like he'd swallowed his tongue. He peeked at Grimmjow through his orange bangs and scowled at what he saw. Grimmjow seemed to be telling the truth - not that he'd ever been a liar. What the fuck did that even mean? If Grimmjow had never cheated on him, then that meant that what Szayel had been telling him had been true and he and Grimmjow had broken up virtually for nothing. Ichigo stared at his sneakers, brow scrunched and mind fuzzy as he tried to understand what was going on. His eyes slid shut, unwilling to cooperate, but he forced them open. He wanted – no he needed – to make sense of this situation. "I don't understand," he ended up muttering, fingering the leg of his shorts, a horrible taste in his mouth. He really wished he had a toothbrush or a peppermint at the moment. Grimmjow sucked his teeth and plowed a hand through his unruly hair, "Ichi, I'm a bum," he muttered, still not meeting Ichigo's gaze. "I couldn' take care a'ya when I lost mah job an' that shit fucked wit' me. Ya need a guy that can take care a'ya." Ichigo's frown deepened as he glared at Grimmjow. He had loved him. He still loved him. He still wanted and needed him like a drowning man needed air and Grimmjow was telling him that he didn't deserve him? What the fuck? "Stupid. Stupid, stupid, STUPID!" Ichigo ended with a scream, his voice shattering the stillness of the deserted park. Grimmjow glanced at him, eyes wide and mouth open. Ichigo had a mind to jump to his feet in indignation, but his body just wasn't up to the task. Instead, he balled his hands into fists and tried not to plant them into the blue-haired man's face. "WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?" he shrieked, eyes afire. Grimmjow scowled and glared right back, sapphire-blue eyes gleaming in the dark, "I was thinkin' ya deserved somebody better'n me!" he shouted, deep voice echoing in the night. Ichigo dissolved into laughter, completely throwing Grimmjow off, "I loved you!" he gasped through his spastic chuckles. "I fuckin' loved you and you...you threw me away! You threw me away like I didn't even matter!" His chest hurt and so did his head, but for the life of him, he couldn't stop fucking laughing. All this time he'd thought Grimmjow had cheated on him, had mistreated him and the whole time, it had been a lie. Ichigo stumbled to his feet, his laughter finally slowing as tears filled his eyes. Sand sifted into his clothes and stuck to his skin and hair, but he didn't care. He gripped his suddenly queasy stomach and tripped over his feet as he staggered away from his ex. He needed to get out of there. A hand on his shoulder made him swing out blindly, his heart hiccuping in his chest as his eyes locked with shimmering blue. "Ichigo-" "Don't fuckin' touch me!" Ichigo gasped, clutching the spot over his heart. His fingers twisted the material as his nose started running and burning, his eyes stinging from unshed tears. "W-why would you do that to me? To us? What the fuck were you thinking?" "I wasn' thinkin'!" Grimmjow yelled, his voice cracking as he tried to get closer. "I didn't care, Grimmjow! I knew you had lost your job, but...but I didn't care! I loved you!" Ichigo stressed, his own voice reaching higher with each exclamation. His chest heaved and he blinked once, twice before his eyes shut and his shoulders shook uncontrollably as he covered his face with his hands. It had to be the alcohol making him so overly emotional, but he seriously couldn't take the pain tearing his body in two. Thickly corded arms wrapped around him and hugged him to a firm, broad chest, "Ichi. Ichi, I'm so sorry," Grimmjow murmured, his mouth pressed against Ichigo's hair and breath leaving him in quick gasps. Ichigo honestly didn't know what to do. He was angry – no, pissed – that Grimmjow had fooled him into believing he had been cheating, only to push him away, but...he also loved the man more than he loved himself. His instincts led him to lean into his ex-lover, his arms unconsciously going around the thicker man as he deeply inhaled Grimmjow's nostalgic scent. Suddenly, a loud trilling interrupted them, Ichigo blinking in surprise when he realized it was his phone making the offending noise. He reached behind him and pulled his phone free from his back pocket before connecting the call and answering, "Oi," he mumbled. "Ichigo?" Ichigo's eyes widened as he stood speechless. Now? Of all the times he had been trying to reach the man, he decided to call now? Kaien had to have the worst timing in the history of mankind. "Y-yeah," he stuttered, eyes lifting to meet Grimmjow's. Grimmjow pursed his lips and stepped back, his arms leaving Ichigo's body as he must have recognized the voice on the other end. Ichigo didn't want to move, but what else could he do? There were things he needed to talk to Kaien about as well, although he really didn't want to leave things the way they were between himself and the taller, blue-haired man. "Hey. Uh, what're you doin'?" Ichigo scowled and turned his back to Grimmjow, rubbing his brow as he contemplated Kaien's question. He didn't want to say "nothing" and insult his ex, but he also didn't want Kaien to think he was up to no good. Deciding to be neutral, he shrugged, "I'm going home." Ichigo tried not to pay attention to the sigh that emanated from behind him, but it was pretty hard to do. He turned and glanced at Grimmjow, the older man turning away from him with a small scowl furrowing his brows. "Can I come over? I need to talk to you." Ichigo felt his heart leap into his throat, but he managed not to panic. His head was still twirling like a ballerina and his stomach was still somersaulting enthusiastically, but he figured he could deal with Kaien before falling out for the night. "I...give me a few minutes," Ichigo responded, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, ok." Kaien disconnected the call and Ichigo stuffed his phone into his back pocket, afraid to turn and face his ex. What was he supposed to say? What was he supposed to do? Luckily, Grimmjow snatched the reins and sighed. "Ya need a ride?" he rumbled, still not meeting Ichigo's eyes. Ichigo nodded, feeling bad for what reason, he wasn't sure, "Yeah. Thanks." He followed behind Grimmjow out of the park and to the man's silver car parked at the curb. The ride to Ichigo's home was silent and completely uncomfortable. When they pulled up in front, Grimmjow didn't even put the car in park as he unlocked the doors and nodded in Ichigo's direction, his jaw tense and unmoving. Not knowing quite what to say, Ichigo scrambled from the passenger seat and hurried to his door, only glancing back once to see Grimmjow peeling away, his eyes still glued to the road. He felt bad for the whole interaction because he'd called the man, but he didn't know what to do in this situation. He was fishing in his pockets for his house keys, when Kaien's hunter-green, Nissan Altima pulled up front. He was still slightly drunk and wasn't too sure of how he would handle his confrontation with the raven-haired male, but it had to be better than what had just occurred with Grimmjow, right?While AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. 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