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The Loss Of One To Gain Another	By : severuslover Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 4689 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach and I do not make any money from this

Chapter List
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So�. Um� hey *nervous laugh* sooo sorry but if you�re a loyal reader I guess you aren�t that surprised hehe. I procrastinate and get new ideas daily that I just HAVE to try out. Don�t hate me. I wish I had more time to write and still plot at the same time lol. I�m a very slow writer damn it. Thank you for all your support and reviews and favs! They mean so much to me and motivate me!

Tidbit � I had a hard time working out the pairing. I couldn�t find anyone to pair Byaku boo with. I didn�t want Renji because without drastically changing his personality this would be pure crack. I mean, I could�ve made it work but� you know >_> mumbles. Now I�m wondering how it would�ve been if I�d done it that way� damn it.

Oh, I drew some er.... stuff....http://kimaru-sama.deviantart.com/gallery/ *cough* they suck but yea, just so you can see how I see the chars :D

The sixty-ninth district in Rukongai only found peace and quiet in the dead of night. That was when all the brawling and screaming stopped and quick silent assassination was preferred to rowdy day fights. People shut up in their houses, dojos closed to surround their members with privacy for night activities, and the cold wind kept every warm body inside.

He couldn�t go inside. He didn�t have an inside to go to for a long time now.

He�d spent many a night roaming the alleys and rubbish strewn streets in search of food, water, someone willing to take him in.

Anything. Anyone.

It was on a warm night when she came, moving easily through the dirty street, her beautiful red kimono billowing at her ankles.

The first thing that drew his attention to her, was her appearance, for she looked terribly out of place. Dilapidated houses, peasants sleeping among garbage, remains of various things at her feet, while she, clean and elegant, beautiful and radiant, seemed far too good to walk here. She did not look as if she was aware of this, or if she was, it was nothing that could deter her.

Hands tucked into her sleeves, head held high and proud, she moved slowly, almost without purpose, unless one noticed the subtle determination in her eyes.

He had wondered how she managed to spot him. Huddled in a corner in a nest of trash and old cloths he was supposed to be properly concealed, but something made her stop at that exact moment and look down. Right into his eyes.

He looked away, afraid of soiling her with his filth by just a glance but he could feel her eyes on him. She must be lost, he thought, a noble who had strayed away from her house or her family and found herself here. But to be so far in the bowels of Rukongai, alone at this unearthly hour �

She knelt down, unafraid of the grime and the dirt, and held out a slender hand while smiling down at him.

Fear kept him frozen, unable to believe what was happening, what she was offering. He wanted to take it, to accept her hand, but he�d been tricked before. Abused and used for others� personal interest and what suited them.

Oh how he wanted to trust her, to believe that her sweet smile was genuine � so much that it was nearly painful. But how could he clutch to a stranger so easily?

�Come with me. I won�t hurt you, I promise,� was what she said, easily reading his face, her own softening in response.

It wasn�t usual for someone to approach him like this. What did she really want?

Even though his heart was hesitant, his body was not and he could only feel himself reaching for her, unable to resist. She may, like the others, offer false promises to gain his trust and then get rid of him after he� served his usefulness. It was as much a possibility as anything.

He counted himself lucky, many were impoverished but not many got the opportunities he was offered � even if he was being used.

Without releasing his hand even once, she led him by the light of only the waning, yellow crescent moon, through the winding streets. It felt strange, but at the same time nice, to be in the presence of a beautiful woman. And she was touching him. Willingly! His face heated up when he thought about it or the occasional glimpses of their joined hands when he looked down.

It hadn�t taken long; a good half hour would have been a safe guess, until she stopped in front of the large door of her� home? She certainly looked the type that would own a house of this caliber.

She looked back at him and smiled. �Well, this is it.� Face bright red and nodding vigorously, he kept his eyes on the ground.

Without even having to announce her arrival, two men from on the inside opened the doors as soon as they had gotten there. They bowed to her and she gave a short nod of her head, walking up the stone path with him in tow.

Being so close to it he could no longer call it a house. That word felt to diminish its true grandeur, for it had as many as five levels and from the light of the hanging lanterns, he could see that it was painted a bright red, much like the rouge on her lips.

Inside was warm and bathed in a green light. He immediately recoiled at the amount of people, all well dressed in fine clothes and clean. Feeling a little embarrassed, he unconsciously held onto her hand tighter but no one spared him a second glance, and for that he was thankful.

She took him on the very last floor where there was one grand suite. A bedroom and sitting room combined from the looks of it. It smelled nicely, of fruits and flowers.

�Make yourself comfortable.�

On the floor was where he chose to sit. He�d never seen such an enormous room in his entire life. He looked around in awe; feeling very small compared to it.

She approached him quietly and drew him up to sit with her in one of the soft chairs. Stunned by this, he tried his best to discretely maneuver his himself so that as little as possible of his body actually touched the soft material and avoided eye contact.

She tilted his chin with one small finger to encourage him to look at her, pushing aside some of the matted hair that fell into his eyes.

No one had ever treated him this way, with a smile warm enough to make the pain feel like pin pricks when compared to it.

�I hope you will grow to like it here� and somehow find the strength to forgive me through the hate you may harbor.�

Hate�?

�W-Why would I hate you?�

What she meant exactly, he didn�t know at the time. Was he imagining the sad almost regretful look on her face?

She graced him with another sympathetic smile. �What is your name?�

�Call me what you like. I don�t have a name.�

�Poor thing. Would t be alright if I gave you one?� she asked, her voice brimming with something hopeful.

He could not believe what she was asking. Still astonished, he nodded stiffly.

�Alright. May I think about it first? Something that important needs to be special.�

�Hai, Ojou-sama.�

She did not protest, only continued to smile, picking at the fraying edges of his yukata idly.

He was treated to a meal and a roof over his head; these were enough to outweigh any negative thoughts he might have had about his living arrangements. And of course, her smile helped matters.

For the first two months, he was required to stay in this room and out of sight, which he felt a little perturbed by because it was her room that he�d have to share.

Not having much experience, and not having been in such close proximity to women for an extended amount of time, he covered his ears to drown out the sounds of fabric sliding over her skin whenever she dressed and undressed. She found his shy naivety amusing and teased him by asking that he bring articles of clothing for her that she deliberately left just to see him blush.

But he never had a cage, and as much as he wanted to enjoy the privileges she provided, the trapped feeling worsened.

He learned that there were many connected houses and rooms on her estate and that she had her own private place she retreated to when the time allowed. The room they shared was her main office

At night, when she conducted business, he was to stay hidden.

Vibrant like a newly blossomed spring flower, he admired her beauty and enjoyed her liveliness.

What had he done to deserve this? To deserve her and her kindness? She had given him clothes, food, shelter and he had nothing to offer her in return.

�Please allow me to repay you somehow,� he squeaked, submerged in a ground-scraping bow. �Please...�

�I told you already, it�s not necessary.�

�Yes but-�

�There is nothing I want to ask from you.�

�Please, I don�t feel right sleeping here and eating and not doing anything in return. I�ll do anything, t-that you ask.�

She sighed impatiently. He was so stubborn and the look in his eyes said that he would insist on this for a very long time.

�I told you not to kneel like that.� She gave the pipe between her lips a light tap with her fingers, examining his hunched body. He had changed so much since she first brought him here. He looked much healthier but�happier? No.

�S-Sorry, Ojou- sama.�

He still wouldn�t lift his head, and she wanted to admonish him for his repeated � unnecessary � formality, but decided against it. That was just who he was, she decided.

If keeping him occupied would make him happier, then she would think of nothing else but to make him happy. She could not allow him to work there but she could spare him a bit of freedom.

She no longer confined him to her room. He could explore the premises under one condition; that he remained out of sight, which meant not at night, when they did business. He was not told what sad business was.

But as he perused the halls silently, employing his years knowledge in thieving stealth, he saw the true face of his new home.

A house of male prostitutes.

�I hope you will grow to like it here� and somehow find the strength to forgive me through the hate you may harbor.�

Was this what she meant? Did Ojou- sama think he would feel hatred toward her if he knew?

How could he, he was no better than dirt.

He was no stranger to the shadier places that hid and came to life in the cover of darkness, but this was entirely new and when he slunk back to her room with the rising sun the night he found out, she would not face him.

�So now you know. What will you do?�

�Did you think I would think less of you?�

She whipped around, tears springing in her eyes. �Do you?�

�It�s not my place to judge anyone. You saved me and you�ve been kind to me. That�s all I need to know,� he said shyly, hands on his knees and looking at the ground. He meant every word of it. He could not count the many things she had given him, nor even try estimate how much he owed her for everything she did for him.

In the amount of time he had been with her, or maybe from the very first time he saw her, he had fallen in love, with the beautiful, caring woman that had taken him in, whose hazel eyes and smile did something to him that he could not understand.

But something else beyond his comprehension and control was also happening, the lingering effect of life, surrounded by the sight and smell and feel of men. The sounds of them.

She was the one he loved, and he was overjoyed when she turned a lover�s eye on him, but something inside of him had already been taken and it angered her.

Although he felt badly about it, although it felt like betrayal to his savior, he knew within his heart that he could not love her, and thus denied her advances.

It would only hurt them both.

And when she sat by his side to watch him sleep, when she thought he was unaware, he could see the pain written clearly across her features, feel the resentment when she raked her nails across his stomach.

He knew, that she herself knew, that it was her fault he could never love her. It was by her doing.

He wanted to ask if that was the real reason why he was brought there. Did she treat him kindly to one day ask him to self himself?

�Everyone that lives here needs to earn their keep.� Her voice was cold and she no longer had smiles to spare.

�P-Please�Ojou-sama, I-I can�t- I don�t-�

�Then you can�t stay here.� She turned away from his tiny, sobbing frame backed up against the wall.

�Ojou � sama...�

�Those are the rules,� she said harshly, ignoring the small whimpering noises he was making and masking her pain well.

Her eyes narrowed, lips curving into a sneer. �Unless-�

Nothing but a solitary straw, out of desperation clutched at like a dangling rope. Anything to pull himself up, allowing air to enter his lungs again. He could not return to the cold and hunger. He could not!

�Unless what? Please Ojou- sama tell me, I�ll do anything I�ll-�

�You may stay for as long as you like, and you would not be required to work here, Makoto-�

His eyes widened, bright green swimming with tears, heart light. �Thank y-�

�Only, if you agree to become mine and sacrifice your freedom. Your body and soul will belong to me. You may never leave me.�

A strangled sob escaped his mouth, his entire body trembling. He didn�t have an ounce of strength to speak. She pulled him into her arms, closing her eyes and taking in the feel of his body on hers.

Her own from now on. Lovely.

Makoto.

For the first time in his life someone shed tears for him.

�and somehow find the strength to forgive me through the hate you may harbor.�

%_%_%_%_%_%_%_%_%_%_%_%_%_%_%_%_%_%_%_%_%_%_%_%

The vicious battle raged onward between the two opposing parties, decimating anyone in its wake and leaving a trail of broken debris behind.

Takahashi Makoto, the head strong but inexperienced foot soldier took the direct approach, attacking where and whenever he saw an opening, no matter how small. He never missed a chance for a shouting match though it was mostly in the privacy of his room or when no one was around to hear.

He was the cautious one, not wanting to worry his troops. The one who would fight alone, rather than put others in danger.

Chou, the general; the seasoned, weathered, strategist, was more brazen, and thus more cunning. He picked fights among crowds, more willing to challenge Makoto�s view in a compromising situation with many eyes, where the young soldier would need more than a sound defense.

Makoto would be put on the spot, having to justify his reasons for being angry about something like the promotion of a worker. And the critical eyes and ears would also be sharp, expecting an explanation. He had no choice but to retreat and concede victory to Chou on those occasions.

Byakuya witnessed it all in a semi- detached state even though he was the fuse for the ongoing strife. He said nothing in his defense nor did he argue about his appointment. Grateful as he was for Takahashi san�s resentment on his behalf, he did not involve himself directly.

Chou had informed him that he�d no longer be served in his room and that he would have to take meals with everyone else, yet Takahashi brought him food to his room every day. Byakuya suspected this was to spite Chou.

Sometimes the man stayed with him while he ate, but kept unnaturally silent. Other times he just came and inquired how he was feeling before offering him a sad smile and then leaving immediately after.

Byakuya had been given a week � a generous consideration, he was told � to adjust to his situation and to collect himself. A gift from Makoto. How exactly this was to be done, he did not know.

He held the chopsticks in his hands tightly, while he thought things through. His rice had long since grown cold and so had his tea. Makoto was occupying a corner in his room, somber as usual, gazing outside and fanning himself idly. Byakuya wasn�t in the habit of asking too many questions but there were things that he was curious about.

�Takahashi �san?�

�Hmm?� he answered distractedly.

�You�re the owner of this establishment, are you not?�

Makoto lips curved into a small smile. �The way you say it makes it sound like a legitimate enterprise. Why do you ask?�

Byakuya�s question was harmless, a reiteration of the obvious, and he was not a man to ask a question with an obvious answer. There had to be a meaning behind it.

�Chou ��

�It�s complicated.� With a heavy sigh, Makoto cut him off before he got further.

�What is? That you � as the owner � promoted me and yet for some reason it appears to be Chou�s doing?�

�How sharp you are,� Makoto muttered quietly.

�Do not take me for a fool.�

�I don�t.� He turned away from the window to look at Byakuya. �I do not wish this for you Kuchiki-san. I-I did not make that decision.�

�Then why did you send that man to give me an ultimatum? I was told that if I did not co-operate, the shinigami would be told my location.�

Hayato� So that�s how they got you here� �That was not my doing, I swear.�

�I surmised as much,� Byakuya replied, taking a sip of his tea. His hands were doing much better, and didn�t bring him much discomfort now.

Makoto crawled over to him.

�How do you feel about� all this?�

No one had asked him that before, not in the entire amount of time that he was here. �How am I supposed to feel?�

�Angry, bitter� I don�t know � anything.�

�What good would unwarranted emotions bring?�

�K-Kuchiki-san,� he said sadly, wanting nothing more that to reach out and touch him but restraining himself seeing as he didn�t have a proper reason. Simply because he wanted to, was not a reason.

�Do you�what I mean to say is, are you� attracted� to men?�

Another important question that no one had deemed necessary to ask.

Byakuya hesitated. He�d never given it much thought even despite the storm in which he now found himself caught in. He�d had many marriage proposals from several noble households, offering their daughters� hands in marriage.

Byakuya had never cared for any of them and found them all to be bothersome, well placed dolls, cut from the same cloth and stitched with the same pattern. They all behaved the same, acted the same and sometimes even looked the same in appearance.

It was all about presentation of the gift and not necessarily the content, in the circle of wealth.

Did that mean that he was attracted to men? He had certainly never felt anything for a member of the opposite sex.

Apparently it was too long of a pause. Makoto thought he was offended.

�I�m sorry, that was too personal of a question. You don�t have to answer. It doesn�t matter if you are or not. You still should not be here.�

Byakuya took another sip of tea. Hearing this brought no comfort as it could not be remedied by words. �Do you wish to discuss all the reasons I should not be here?�

�No.� Makoto leaned closer, a seemingly casual movement but then pressed his fingers against Byakuya�s bandaged ribs. Despite himself the teacup in his hand jerked a little and the slightest bit of pain showed on his face, Makoto gauging his reaction all the while.

�I was never a brave man, Kuchiki-san. I could never fight, or maybe I should say, I never tried to. I accepted all that I was given, feeling too weak to have a choice. I�ve made my bed and I deserve to lie in it. You are not like me.�

Makoto withdrew his hand and stood up. With his fan splayed out and coving the lower half of his face only his eyes could be seen, eerily dull and despondent in the dying evening light.

�It is most peaceful, in the hour just before dawn. Take what you want, if anything at all. You won�t have much time but I�ll serve as a distraction for the most watchful.�

He stared at Byakuya for a moment, waiting until the true intent of his words hit home and then nodded. �If you have a good head start all may not be lost.

Makoto turned away from him.

�Good luck,� he said quietly. It appeared he wanted to say more but didn�t.

Byakuya wrestled with himself and muttered, �thank you� just as Makoto slid the door shut behind him.

*

The evening faded slowly into night and the house came alive. Byakuya stared down at his tea, unable to suppress the feeling of hope that surged within him.

He had just been given an escape. Admittedly, he was not fully healed but that certainly wouldn�t stop him from taking this offering.

He did not sleep that night. His body was thrumming with anxiety. Would this method succeed? Could he really get away?

There was a light knocking on his door when the noise died down, and in between the small space in which the door was opened, something was inserted.

It must have been early in the morning. The sky was still dark, meaning that it was still a ways before the time Makoto suggested. Byakuya walked over to it and picked it up. It was his sword folded within a cloak.

Wrapped up inside was a piece of paper. Now.

He refolded it, tucked it away and picked up his sword. The cloak wrapped around to cover his face and to protect him from the falling dew, he approached the window. The height would be a problem.

He made up his mind that he would not be stopped. His chest pained but he paid it no heed. With an intake of breath to prepare himself and call back upon the skills he�d been taught, he jumped up onto the window sill and was in the flower field of the backyard garden moments later.

He landed smoothly, and no sooner than when his feet touched the wet grass did he take off, running a fast as his legs allowed.

Scaling the walls, the moonlight illuminated his way, his sword held tightly at his side.

The wind whispered in his ears as he ran. It was said so quietly. He only heard it, carried on the wind.

�Way of Binding no. 63: Winding Binding Chains.�

Pressure seized his chest, his hand restricted to his sides and he fell, face first into the dirt.

*

Forgive me if the last bit seemed rushed. I couldn�t get it to work for me*dies* Uh, let me just say that in the first half Makoto is equivalent to 16 years old and Ojou-sama � 27. Now some ages to clarify a few things

Byakuya �22
Makoto � 27
Chou � 38
Hayato - 33
Ichigo- 25
Renji � 19
:D Bet you�re wondering about the last two eh wink wink*
Those are just to get an idea. I don�t know how Seireitei�s age system works >_

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The Loss Of One To Gain Another