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Not Close Enough	By : Polymer Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male > Renji/Ichigo Views: 12362 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo and Shonen Jump, not me. I make no money writing this fanfiction.

Chapter List
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Swallowing hard, Ichigo had consigned himself to a life without seeing Shinigami. That was one of the few things he regretted about a loss of power. Sometimes things that one wished for most out of longing ended up bittersweet when the wish was granted.
Life in the lottery handed him blessed silence marked with isolation. Those first few days without the worries of hollow hunting or konso performances seemed surreal. Days stretched into weeks, then dragged into months. Life resumed as it would have had nothing transpired but his friends were also affected by the changes. What had remained the same were the relationships forged.
Keigo and Mizuiro were still dating steadily. Chad and Ishida had moved into the same apartment and were happily planning on going to colleges that were within proximity to one another. As for Ichigo, he had not considered college much except to see it as a ticket to something else.
The jobs he had held were out of boredom and a need for something exciting. As much as he protested it, Ichigo craved fighting. There were a few brawls he had undertaken since, and his reflexes were as sharp as ever. Keeping the sports scouters at bay was a constant battle. As was working for his new boss Ikuni Unagiya. Like an older version of Tatsuki, she dragged him into personal conflicts with all the baggage of irritation. A son bitching at her to lay off flirting with his mother. When he announced he did not go for older women, she decked him.
Promptly he looked her in the eye and said, "I apologize."
"You'd better," Ikuni muttered, glaring at him.
"I'm gay," Ichigo said as he looked at her levelly.
"Why didn't you say so, idiot?" she sighed in disgust. "Did you think I would mind?"
"Yeah," Ichigo mumbled. That got him another punch in the face.
"You think you're the only one with issues?" she whispered. "There's a reason his father's not hanging around. And it ain’t outta what you'd think."
"You're a dyke?" Ichigo guessed. She ruffled his hair.
"You're not as stupid as you let on," she said. "But it's my job to keep your ass out of trouble."
"Because we're both..." he asked.
"Not just that idiot," mumbled his boss. "You really invite trouble don't you?"
"Yeah," mumbled Ichigo as he looked up at her. Fortunately, she had undone the tape from his hands so he could at least move about freely.
Then the ramen know it all person had showed up, asking things and the subject of eels came up shattering any common understanding for the time being. Ichigo found that he a. was not fired; b. was obligated to work and check in so he did not get his ass beaten.
Wandering back to the Unagiya shop one day after running his latest errand, Ichigo happened to notice a new customer standing by the counter. Promptly his eyes narrowed in on the broad toothy smile, and the jagged brows zigzagging like lightening. Tight jeans encased his long legs while a scarf tiled around his brow concealed other dark markings.
“Can I help you?” said Ikuni.
“Depends,” said a familiar voice.
“Wait a minute,” Ichigo said as he stormed over.
Dark brown eyes fixed on Ichigo with a twinkle present. Resting a hand on his hip he replied, "Oi... so this is where yer hiding?"
"You son of a BITCH!" Ichigo ranted as he suddenly grabbed the redhead by the front of his shirt. "Where were you?"
Ikuni shoved her way between them. "If you two are going to have a lover's quarrel get the hell out."
Both turning bright red, Ichigo and Renji blinked at the woman resting her hands on her hips. "That's not what..."
"Sure. It's NEVER what it looks like,” Ikuni sighed, shaking her head.
“Sorry miss I...” Renji began but was cut off by a wave of Ikuni's hand.
“Don't worry. Just get your asses out of here and talk.”
Surprised Ichigo blinked, backing away. “But you told me that if I missed work I'd be...”
“You've got the rest of the day off, Kurosaki. You'd only just have your head up your ass the rest of the day anyway if you didn't sort it out," Ikuni sighed, rolling her eyes.
Ichigo and Renji still flushed a shade of red identical to the beets in one of the specials. Still with hands poised on one another's shirts, they blinked at her. Grabbing a broom, she waved it. "Get the hell out of here you idiots!"
Not arguing, Renji grabbed Ichigo and yanked him along out the front door. One second later a bundle consisting of Ichigo's jacket and personal effects collided with his head. Once they were panting outside on the front step Ichigo glared at Renji and tugged him close so their chests collided. "You are such an asshole! Why the fuck has it been SIX MONTHS since you even..."
Renji wrapped his arms around Ichigo, and then reached up to cup his cheek. "I'm sorry, but it's rules."
"Fuck rules!" Ichigo snapped, pushing Renji back. "Didn't you say we were going to make this work?"
Grabbing Ichigo by the arm Renji yanked him into a side alley, after glancing back and forth first. In a hissed whisper he continued, "Since your little friend started insistin' on keeping us apart."
"That's no excuse," Ichigo retorted. Grabbing Renji by the shoulders, he slammed him against the wall and attacked the redhead’s lips with his own. Now that he was a few inches taller and filled out with more muscle the body mass discrepancy was much less.
Lips and tongues meshed between hot breaths. Hungrily Ichigo turned his head from side to side attempting to convey all the hurt and anger he felt. Likewise, Renji squeezed Ichigo's shoulders tightly as if afraid Ichigo would dissolve into spirit particles if he did not.
When at last they surfaced for air, their foreheads pressed together as they had in so many arguments. Blood pumped fiercely through their systems like adrenaline, a suitable foreplay. Yet this was tinged with sadness. "Do you know how much it hurts to feel forgotten?" Ichigo asked.
"Like hell," mumbled Renji. "But ya looked as if ya'd moved on. I saw ya those few times and it was always shit ya were talkin' about this and that..."
Stuffing his hands in his pockets Ichigo spun around so he almost vanished into the shadows of the alley. "So you assumed..."
"That you wanted a normal life. Live in happiness n' all that good shit," Renji said.
Ichigo’s shoulders slumped. “That’s what I thought I wanted. But didn’t you think for a moment that I’d assume you wanted to be part of it?”
“There’s nothin’ normal about me bein’ in the human world. At least at the time I didn’t think so,” Renji muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. “Thought it’d be best if I didn’t get in the way.”
"Now you're telling me you stayed away because you wanted ME to be a normal human. Nice Renji. Nice and selfless," Ichigo mumbled.
"An yer gettin' into more trouble then ya were before. I thought ya would get a job n' work for yer dad or someone else. And yer workin' here? No college plans, no nothing?"
A sharp laugh broke the gloom, startling Renji as if it were a gunshot. Ichigo wheeled around on him saying, "What, are you in division 10?"
Renji took a step forwards towards Ichigo, yet kept his distance. In a low calm voice he said, "Hitsugaya Taicho kept tabs on ya through Urahara san. We're all worried.”
"Is that why that clown's following me around?” Ichigo asked.
Renji blinked in confusion at this, cocking his head to the side. He asked, “Who are ya talking about?”
Throwing his hands up Ichigo demanded, “Oh don’t tell me you don’t know shit about it? Guy with dark hair keeps offering me ramen but pisses me off with half assed answers!”
“Wait a minute, sounds like…”
“Yeah, ring a bell now? He comes into the shop, wasting the boss and my time. Telling me I shouldn’t' even know about my own damn family?
"I ain't got nothing t' do with that," Renji mumbled.
"Then why are you here?"
"T' make sure things are goin' okay. And they ain't. Hitsugaya Taicho n' Ukitake Taicho got special permission fer me t' come here after Soutaicho said t' leave ya alone," Renji admitted.
Ichigo cocked his head to the side, asking, “So it wasn’t just you, was it? Someone ordered you not to come check on me.”
“That’s part of it. They wanted you to live a normal life..."
Bitterly Ichigo snorted, shaking his head. He said, “Wait let me guess. They wanted me to have a wife and kids, and get a job and settle down. All that happy horse shit?”
"Ya know better than that! When they meant wife they didn’t mean it had t’ be a woman ya settled down with. Just someone special. Hell, gay people settle down and have kids, right?”
“Well nice to know that Soul Society’s that enlightened, but the world doesn’t work that way always,” Ichigo answered, lifting an eyebrow. “Didn’t you think for a moment I’m kind of young to want that right now?”
“Okay, okay, maybe eventually. But I’d at least thought by now you'd have moved on..."
"You asshole," Ichigo said rolling his eyes in disgust. "I don't fucking want to move on? Did you think for a minute that I'd just forget about you and me like yesterday’s news?”
"I dunno. Living quietly without powers says t' me ya'd wanna cut all ties with Soul Society," Renji said shrugging.
Throwing up his hands Ichigo spun around and walked away. He stopped ten feet from Renji, saying, "So what do you want me to say Renji? That I'm fucking happy, and I've got a steady boyfriend and I'm gonna go to college like every other kid my age?"
Renji folded his arms across his chest. "It'd be better then what yer doin' now. Getting' into fights and shit."
Ichigo glared angrily at him, and then put his hands on his hips. "It's what happened to me before powers. It's normal to me. So what if I end up some damn martial artist or football player, or some bouncer at a bar? It's my life."
"What kinda life is that?" Renji asked.
"It's not for you to damn well say how I life my life cause you're not a part of it anymore!" Ichigo yelled as he pushed Renji away and turned to leave. As if Ichigo had punched him Renji stepped back, swallowing hard.
"You fucking dumbass! I'm tryin' to change that," Renji shouted.
"Not biting anymore. Just go away and leave me alone. It may be a fucked up life to you, but it's my life," Ichigo countered as he walked away.
A strong hand shot out and grabbed his wrist in a firm hold. Renji protested. “Oi, don’t just walk away from me! I ain’t finished speakin’ to ya!”
“I’ve heard enough!” Ichigo shot back, twisting his wrist free and breaking away.
“No ya haven’t, ya dumbass!” Renji argued.
“Shut the hell up and leave me alone damn it!” Ichigo shouted, bursting into a run before Renji could grab hold of him. Immediately Renji's stomach twisted hearing the hurt in Ichigo's voice. He knew that Ichigo was justified in his anger, and would probably want him to run after him. Nevertheless it was a kick in his gut.
“I ain't givin' up,” Renji mumbled.
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