Undisclosed Devotion | By : horrorgal Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male > Ichigo/Ishida Views: 7352 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor the characters. I do not profit from this story. |
Chapter 3
"Ah, you're back," Urahara said as Ichigo stepped into the shop.
"Yeah. Orihime come by yet?" he asked.
"Not that I'm aware of. Looked to me like Uryu was asleep again. How did you manage that?"
"Let just put it this way. I didn't wrestle him to do it."
Urahara smirked. "Chad is coming later as well, I'm guessing?"
"Yeah, maybe then you can tell us what the Hell is going on."
The blond only nodded and went back to work. Ichigo went back in the room where Uryu was resting and quietly shut the door, putting the duffel down. He was glad Uryu was still asleep for now because the stab of guilt was still fresh. He wasn't ashamed of the act itself, but using Uryu's bed like that had been wrong, and he knew it deep down. He'd never done something so obscene in his life before now. All he could do was put it behind him. It's not like Uryu was going to find out about it.
Ichigo looked over where he was sleeping soundly and felt his heart beat just a little faster. The back of his head was resting on the small pillow, his mouth parted just enough that soft breath passed between his lips. He looked so peaceful and sexy in every way. His raven hair was spread over the pillow like dark silken spiderwebs. Ichigo lowered to sit beside him, eyes soft and hopeful, wanting so much to tell this slumbering man everything he was feeling. He wanted to hold him, protect him, kiss him. He smiled then, knowing Uryu well enough that he would refuse to be protected. Uryu would only let that go so far, but Ichigo wondered how he would respond to everything else.
Ichigo licked his lips and glanced at the closed door, then back to Uryu's sleeping face. He had to taste him; just a little bit. He lowered his head, his own lips parted slightly as he descended further. Second obscene act in one day, he absently thought as his lips neared Uryu's, his light breath a tickling caress over his skin. Ichigo's lips pressed soft, holding back from going further, but the supple contact was enough to make his body tremble with warm excitement. He let the kiss linger; far too long. Ichigo heard the shocked gasp and flinched, pulling back fast to look towards the source of the sound and saw the door was now cracked open a few inches. No one was there, but he knew the damage was done.
"Oh shit," he muttered and got up to rush out the door. By the time he got to the front part of the shop, all he caught sight of was the unmistakable long hair of Orihime fleeing from the place. Urahara just looked at him, not bothering to ask what was going on, and Ichigo accommodated him by not explaining as he ran out after her. She was already bounding around the corner when he burst out into the sunlight of the day, squinting against the glare. "Orihime!"
She didn't stop and he pursued her, desperate to explain what she saw, yet unable to think of how he would even begin once he caught up to her. He rounded the corner and saw her running through a crosswalk, nearly getting hit by a car that screeched to a halt to keep from barreling into her. The driver yelled after her before he continued on. She was going to get herself killed if she didn't calm down. Ichigo made the decision quick and pulled out his badge and left his body behind on the sidewalk in front of a small restaurant where several patrons came running out to see what happened to the young man that now appeared dead on the ground. He'd have to be quick before a damn ambulance was sent for him, and it wouldn't be the first time.
He used shunpo to catch up to her in seconds and landed in front of her, halting her desperate attempt to get away from him. Her eyes were red and puffy, face tear streaked and full of pain. This is what he had feared all along, and he had caused it in the worst possible way. Not by his own words, but his foolish actions. She tried to tear away from him, but he stubbornly kept his arms tight around her, fearing she would only hurt herself if she continued to blindly run through the streets. He tried to calm her down with soft words, but she seemed deaf to his attempts, squirming in his grip like a trapped animal. He kept hold of her, shooting a quick look around, relieved no one was around to see what would probably look like a young woman having a psychotic fit.
"Orihime, please.."
Let go, Ichigo!"
"I won't! Now stop trying to get away from me!" He gripped her shoulders firmly and shook her just enough to get her full attention. He looked at her pale, shocked face and sighed, loosening his grip only slightly. "Please, don't run," he whispered, letting the cold demanding tone drain away.
"I just..don't understand," she said with a sniff, her bottom lip still trembling with the threat of more tears.
"I don't either," he admitted and hugged her soft. "Look, I feel guilty enough. I don't need you getting hurt to make it worse." She felt stiff in his arms, but she had stopped her struggle to get away, and he hoped that was a good sign. "Please, just...come with me to get my body before I end up at the morgue. Then we can go talk, okay?" He thought she wouldn't answer right away, but he was relieved when her head nodded against his chest. He took the risk and moved away from her, ready to grab is she tried to take off again, but luckily she stayed put and wiped her face dry with her hand before she gave him another nod that she was ready to go.
Ichigo led her back, and just in time as the expected ambulance pulled up in front of the restaurant. He rushed over and slipped back into his body and groaned as he sat up, wiping at blood on his brow where his head had made contact with the sidewalk. A few people gasped as if witnessing a miracle. The confused medics ran over and watched the young man stand up and brush off his clothes as if he'd only just fallen and skinned his knee. Ichigo pushed gently past a few of the observers to get to Orihime who stood quietly waiting for him. Her usual happy demeanor was gone, and she was left looking like a lost soul in a vast sea of nothingness. It was a terrible sight, and one he didn't wish to see.
"Sir, you really should come to get checked at the hospital," one of the medics insisted, touching lightly on his arm.
"Beat it, I'm fine. My father is a doctor," he muttered and waved the guy off and went to her, taking her hand that felt impossibly cold on a day that was so warm. "Come on, Orihime," he whispered to her and headed in the direction of her apartment, ignoring the gathered group of people that were still trying to figure out what they had just witnessed.
~*~
The walk was silent, uncomfortably so, but Ichigo just wanted to get her home safe before anything else. She seemed content enough to let him hold her hand, and he found it encouraging. By the time they got back to her place, Ichigo thought he had it all planned out as to what to say. He didn't have a chance to even begin as she went solemnly to the kitchen. He stayed silent and unsure by the door, listening to the run of water and the soft clanking of glass. He moved then and went to the doorway to watch her going about the task of boiling water for tea, her movements slow and almost robotic as if in a trance.
"Orihime.."
"I went to the store while I was out with Tatsuki earlier. I bought some tea.."
"Orihime, it's fine..."
"It's no trouble really." He saw another teardrop slip down her cheek. "Just let me do this okay?" she whispered as she turned the burner on.
Ichigo chose not to argue and sat down at the table in the exact spot he had just been in that morning. It seemed like years ago. The shuffling sounds from the kitchen continued, yet Orihime herself was totally silent. No humming, no small talk or even a sigh escaped her. It was eerie in a way, and so unlike her that Ichigo couldn't help but feel a sense of loss. He knew their friendship would change drastically, but he hoped it wouldn't disappear altogether. He didn't want to lose what he had with her, but Orihime may want it otherwise, and he would do whatever she asked in the end.
When she finally came out with the tea, her face was calmer, her eyes not so red anymore from the tears. The silence between them pressed on as she sat and put the tray on the table. She busied herself by pouring the tea, barely looking up to meet his eyes. Ichigo, on the other hand, couldn't look away from her. He owed it to her to let her have this time and explain everything. Uryu had been right all along. He should have told her a long time ago instead of letting her one-sided attraction go on like he had. All the pain she was feeling right now was his fault, and he wouldn't begin to deny it. He started to speak and she looked straight at him then, striking him down into silence with only her questioning eyes.
Ichigo took a breath. "I'm sorry you had to see.."
"You and Uryu are dating then?" Her voice was still a bit stuffy, but unwavering as she spoke.
"No." Simple answer, but it only made her look confused. "It's..complicated. He doesn't know..." He stopped and sighed.
"He doesn't know how you feel?"
"No."
"I guess you and I are the same then," she said, hands folded on her lap.
"Orihime, I'm sorry. I've known for a while, I just didn't want to upset you. I tried telling you this morning, but between the Hollow and everything else happening.."
"It's okay, Ichigo. If anything it's my own fault. I should have told you how I felt a long time ago, but I was too scared to." She smiled sadly. "And I have a feeling even then it wouldn't have changed anything."
"I'm sorry."
She shook her head. "Stop apologizing." She sipped her tea and looked at him again. "I almost kissed you once too, you know?"
"When?"
"Before I left for Hueco Mundo. I was allowed to see one person before I left. I chose you, over everyone else."
Ichigo sighed. "I remember waking up that morning, and I knew you'd been there from the reiatsu you left behind.." He looked at his own teacup. "Now I really do feel like a asshole."
"Don't, Ichigo. You have no reason to."
"How can you say that when I've hurt you like this?"
She reached across the table and touched his hand. "I can't force you to be in love with me. If I did, that would make me a monster."
"Well, your name and monster doesn't really work in the same sentence," he said with a soft smile. Orihime giggled and he was relieved to see her looking more like herself. The color had come back to her cheeks as they spoke and her body language was more relaxed now that it was all out. They fell into silence once more, but it was no longer thick and heavy. The strain he'd been having the past few days about it passed, but it only heightened his worry and thoughts about Uryu's situation.
"Ichigo?"
"Hm?"
"Does this mean that you're gay?"
"I..um..I don't think so. I mean, I'm not attracted to men, except for Uryu. If that makes any sense."
Orihime thought a moment. "It does make sense to me. You fall in love with who you fall in love with. That's just how it works really." She looked at him closely with sad acceptance in her eyes. "You should tell him soon, Ichigo. Don't make the same mistake I did by saying nothing."
"I plan to, but I have to be honest. I'm afraid he'll be angry or upset about it. I'm expecting to get punched for my trouble." Orihime watched him, and he could see she wanted to be helpful, but was having a hard time of it. He couldn't ask her to have the answers he needed, and he wasn't expecting any. It would be a bad joke to ask her for love advice right after breaking her heart. He could never be that cruel to her. He would figure it out on his own and pray it didn't turn into a disaster. Until then there was the more important matter of the Hollow attacks. He looked at his watch and figured Chad would be heading to Urahara's anytime now. "We should head back to the shop."
~*~
The meeting started like any other, the small group of friends joining in the back sitting room with Urahara. He didn't waste anymore time as he explained all that he'd found out through his own research. It was clear he had known something was going on even before the attack on Uryu happened. The revelation angered Ichigo, but he knew this was how the man worked to get the job done sometimes. That didn't change the fact that he wanted to throttle hat and clogs for keeping it to himself. Uryu looked unsure of what he was hearing.
"What you're saying sounds ridiculous," Uryu said, straightening his glasses.
"I can assure you, I know what I'm talking about," Urahara said.
"The Quincy were wiped out by the Shinigami. I've heard the story more than once," Uryu insisted. "My father and I are all that is left after my grandfather was killed."
"Unfortunately, that truly is the case now. There were others, not many, but others nonetheless. Some weren't even aware of what they were or of the ability they had inside of them. Those few have been killed, very recently, by Hollows."
Uryu fell silent once more and touched the cross that hung from the chain around his wrist, his eyes lingering on the silver. The news was far worse than Ichigo imagined it would be. He looked at Urahara and wondered why they had never been told about these others. Surely the Shinigami had to have been aware of their existence. He couldn't understand what the purpose would be of keeping something like this from Uryu and Ryuken unless it was to keep the two isolated. Ichigo didn't always agree with how things were done in Soul Society, and in this case he was strongly against what had been kept from them all.
"So, how do we find the one doing this?" Uryu asked, looking back at Urahara with a cold stare.
"We wait for another attack. That's all we can do. Then we attempt to pinpoint the one controlling these Hollows."
"Are you serious? We just wait?" Ichigo said tightly.
"Very serious."
"Ichigo, it's okay. If that's what we have to do to stop this, I won't complain," Uryu said.
Chad, quiet as ever, simply nodded soft. Orihime looked to Ichigo and she too appeared unsure of this approach, but didn't bother to object. There wasn't another option. Ichigo knew that Uryu and his father were capable fighters, but was already thinking about guard duty. Uryu would be hard enough to persuade to such lengths, but Ryuken would be close to impossible to convince. Urahara watched them, silent under the shadow of his hat. Ichigo was tempted to hit him, but didn't waste the energy. Besides, it wasn't really hat and clogs he was pissed at.
"Well, if that's all, I think I'll head home now," Uryu said and stood. In unison he got a resounding no from the people around the table, the loudest being Ichigo. "Guys, I'm not a helpless child." He folded his arms and gave them his best stubborn expression. Ichigo was again struck with the deep need to just kiss the look off his face.
"You're very strong, Uryu. Don't think I'm saying otherwise, but maybe it would be wise to stay here at the shop until this blows over," Urahara said.
"I'll feel more comfortable at home, no offense," he insisted.
"Oh, well, maybe you could have Ichigo sleep over, Uryu," Orihime said with a proud smile on her face.
"What?!" Uryu responded.
"Orihime.." Ichigo closed his eyes and shook his head a little, fighting to keep the embarrassment off his face. He knew what she was doing, and heartfelt or not, he wasn't sure she realized the position she would be putting him in.
"Why not? He's your friend, and we all know Ichigo is the strongest of our group. We're all just worried, Uryu." She gave him puppy dog eyes and tilted her head just right. Ichigo looked at her, mouth slightly open, amazed she was suggesting it after what she just went through today.
"It is a good idea, Uryu." Chad agreed. "Might as well play it as safe as possible. Orihime and I can stay alert for any attacks, since your father is a target too."
"Well then, it's decided," Urahara said brightly as he stood, cutting off Uryu's attempted protest.
"I'm..fine," he muttered and sighed, then looked at Ichigo like it was his fault he was being babied. Ichigo raised his hand a bit and shrugged in defense, noticing the secret smile Orihime had as she stood to leave with Chad. He never imagine she could be that sneaky.
~*~
The walk to Ichigo's house was quiet and tense between the two of them. Uryu wasn't pleased with the forced arrangement and that only made Ichigo feel more uncomfortable. He knew Uryu's anger wasn't personal, but rather he was disgruntled that he was being forced to have protection. Neither spoke, both alert to any attack that could happen at any moment. When they entered the house, Yuzu greeted them with a smile.
"Hi, Uryu. Your dad is here too."
"What?"
"Yeah, our dad invited him for dinner." Ichigo wasn't that surprised. The old man had said he would try talking to him. He muttered he'd be right back, and headed up to his room to get clothes and essentials for the night. He wasn't eager for an attack, but if they were lucky, this danger would be taken care of quickly. He was leaving his room to grab his toothbrush, nearly running into Uryu who had decided to come upstairs.
"That man is impossible," Uryu seethed, and Ichigo could have swore he saw a vein twitching in his forehead.
"I take it you mean your dad?" Ichigo said as he went into the bathroom, still within earshot of Uryu who was cursing under his breath. Ichigo smirked a bit at the sound of it, profanity being a rarity when it came to him.
"I'm getting protected like a child, yet he is refusing the same."
"He is stubborn," Ichigo said as he came back through with toiletries in his hands. "Just like you."
"Like...me?" Ichigo, I'm nothing like my father. How many times must I say it?"
"Come on, admit that you're just a little bit alike," he said, tossing the things in the bag on his bed.
"No, I won't. How would you like it if I said you were like your dad?"
Ichigo thought a moment with a unamused frown. "Okay, point taken."
"And at least yours isn't a egotistical asshole."
"No, mine is just a child in big people clothes," Ichigo said as he zipped the bag closed and looked around the room to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything.
"He's a powerful Shinigami," Uryu continued.
"Ryuken is a powerful Quincy." Ichigo looked at him. "We can go back and forth on this forever, so lets just agree that we both get annoyed with our fathers, but we still love and care about them. Deal?"
"....Deal." Uryu sighed and lost his anger, only to look lost. "I guess I'm just tense and don't want to admit it. I'm not afraid," he added. "I'm just a little numb. I can't believe there were other Quincy and I didn't know about it."
"I know that couldn't have been easy to hear," Ichigo said. "I'm sorry."
"Well, not like I really knew them, but still.
"I get what you mean."
Uryu went silent then and looked at him, his eyes searching. Ichigo wasn't sure what he was thinking, but he did know what horrible loss felt like. Losing his mother was still emotionally painful, and it was only worse knowing that her soul was devoured by a Hollow. She was special, and she was gone. He could never get her back. His eyes burned and he cleared his throat as he looked away from Uryu quickly. Sadness wasn't something he liked expressing in front of others, and the few times he had was enough to last him a lifetime. He grabbed his bag and headed for the bedroom door without a word, trying not to think about her like he had every day since her death. Damn if he was going to let the same thing happen to Uryu.
Ichigo could already hear the raised voices before they reached the bottom of the staircase. Uryu mouthed silently, I told you so, and folded his arms as they listened to their fathers bicker over Ryuken's safety. Ichigo really didn't want to get involved and made a beeline for the door with Uryu close behind, but Yuzu stopped their escape, hand on her hip.
"It's dinner time. Where are you two going?"
"Yuzu, give me a break. I'd rather not sit in on that. I'm sure Uryu agrees. Besides, we can grab something later."
"Sorry, Yuzu, but I'm with Ichigo."
"You can't go." Yuzu pouted, her eyes going soft. "I worked really hard on dinner!"
"...Fine." Ichigo dropped his bag by the door.
"No need for that." Ichigo looked over to see his dad approaching. "Go on to the table, Yuzu. I'll join the rest of you in a few minutes." Yuzu sighed, but did as she was told with no arguments.
"What's up?" Ichigo asked.
"Just wanted to get a word in." He looked at Uryu. "Your father may be stubborn, but he'll be getting backup whether he wants it or not," he spoke low. "Urahara gave me a heads up, and he's contacted Soul Society. There will be a few more Shinigami arriving to help keep an eye out."
"Thank you, Sir."
"Hey, I got to look out for the idiot." He slapped Uryu on the back, making the young Quincy sway with the impact. "Well,...have fun at your sleepover!" he said with over-exuberance as he went back into the dining room. Uryu straightened his glasses and cleared his throat with slight agitation.
"Lets get out of here before he changes his mind about us staying," Ichigo said, feeling his cheeks burn as he grabbed his bag up and left in a hurry.
They both fell back into silence once more as they walked. The sun was a orange glow as it was setting, sending long shadows over the ground behind them. Everything was quiet except for a few children running and playing in the yards they passed. It felt peaceful, but he couldn't let his guard down for a second. He looked at Uryu and knew he was doing the same, his eyes cool and focused, and perhaps a little bit relieved knowing his father wouldn't be on his own during this. By the time they arrived at his apartment, the sun had set, bringing on the darkened skies of evening. Uryu slipped his shoes off and turned on a few lights. Ichigo wasn't sure what to say now that they were totally alone behind closed doors. It wasn't really the time to make things complicated by bringing up his feelings so he kept quiet as he put his bag to the side and took a seat.
"Want a drink?" Uryu asked as he moved to go into the small kitchen.
"Water's fine."
He came back in moments with two bottles of water and handed one to Ichigo before he sat beside him on the sofa. Ichigo took a drink, then another, the quiet lingering on between them. He couldn't figure out why. Usually they could come up with something to talk about, but it just felt more uncomfortable than it should be. Uryu checked his watch every few minutes and after a time, Ichigo was unconsciously tapping his foot with nervous impatience.
"Would you stop doing that?" It's really annoying," Uryu said.
"Oh, sorry, watch checker."
"What?"
"You're just as impatient as I am for something to happen, so don't get smart about it."
"Hey, I wasn't the one who asked you over. All of you ganged up on me about this!"
"Are you really going to start that after the fuss you made over your dad refusing help?!"
Ichigo didn't know why he kept adding fuel to the fire. He could have left it alone, but part of him craved this heated exchange. It was the closest thing to passion he could share with Uryu. His heart was beating faster now as he lost focus while he watched Uryu's face slowly turning red with anger. Later he wouldn't recall what was said, or even how long they sat that way, practically in each others faces. What would stay with Ichigo was the comical sound Uryu made when he kissed him; a sound between a shocked yelp and a confused groan.
Uryu froze up in seconds. Not a good sign, but Ichigo shifted closer, lips pressed firm and commanding against his. Uryu wasn't pushing him away. Maybe it was shock that was keeping him rock still, his body as tense as a guitar string. Ichigo moved his hand up along his thigh, and it was then that Uryu was snapped from his stupor. He gasped, lips parting, face turning away just a little. Ichigo, against his own better judgement, followed his mouth, taking advantage of his parted lips to dart his tongue against his. Just one taste made him breathless, but when Uryu's hands pushed against his chest, his euphoria was crushed to bits.
"I'm sorry," Ichigo whispered as he moved away with his eyes averted.
"You...., jerk! You don't just kiss someone out of the blue like that!"
"I'm sorry," he muttered again. This didn't seem real. Why the hell did he just do that? "Ouch!" He looked up and rubbed his arm where Uryu had just punched him. The Quincy's face was flushed and angry, but mostly confused. Great, this wasn't how he wanted this to go, though he wasn't greatly surprised by his reaction either. He probably just fucked up any chance he had now because of his crass action.
"Why?" Uryu asked, hands balled up over his lap as if to stop himself from hitting him again. "Why would you kiss me? Is it some kind of joke?"
"No, it's not a joke," Ichigo said, his face falling more. "Why would I joke about something like this?"
Uryu was at a loss for words, and it was just as well. Ichigo wasn't sure what to say now that his little secret was out in the worst possible way. Uryu's posture was stiff, his hands still resting over his lap. He looked thoroughly uncomfortable, and Ichigo was getting there himself as they sat there in the hushed stillness of the room. He wished it was just a bad dream. He could change things then, but it wasn't as simple as that. He felt numb as he reached into his jeans pocket to pull out his badge and left his body to topple over off the sofa. He couldn't even look at Uryu now, his back to him.
"I'll head outside and keep guard. Probably better that way."
Uryu called after him, but he rushed out without looking back, feeling like the biggest coward in the world. He was just glad he didn't follow him as he took to the air and landed on the roof of the apartment building. He sat, eyes on the night sky, fighting to forget what just happened. It wasn't for lack of trying, but he just couldn't manage to dispel it completely. He dare not compare this to what Orihime must have felt, but it hurt enough. What was worse, he and Uryu's friendship was probably shattered now. He couldn't expect Uryu to feel comfortable around him again after what happened. He shook himself, his eyes going cold as he willed himself to not think about anything except that task at hand. If a Hollow came near, he'd be ready for it. That was his job. That was his purpose. He waited.
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