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The Heart in My Hand	By : chayron Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 10028 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. It belongs to its respective owners. This fan fiction is not a commercial project, and I am not making any money from writing it.

Chapter List
- 1-Part 1
- 2-Part 2
- 3-Part 3
- 4-Part 4
- 5-Part 5
- 6-Part 6
- 7-Part 7
- 8-Part 8
- 9-Part 9
- 10-Part 10
- 11-Part 11
- 12-Part 12
- 13-Part 13
- 14-Part 14
- 15-Part 15
- 16-Part 16
- 17-Part 17
- 18-Part 18
- 19-Part 19
- 20-Part 20
- 21-Part 21
- 22-Part 22
- 23-Part 23
- 24-Part 24
- 25-Part 25
- 26-Part 26
- 27-Part 27
- 2
- 3
- 4
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach – it belongs to its respective owners. This fan fiction is not a commercial project, and I am not making any money from writing it.
Warnings:
1. Yaoi (male x male). Ulquiorra x Ichigo and vice versa. Other pairings?
2. Ichigo – almost 19 years old; Ulquiorra – probably a few hundred as a Hollow and about a decade or so as an Arrancar?
3. Post anime (haven’t read the manga).
4. Alternate Universe.
5. I’m not a native speaker, thus expect various language oddities.
6. I’m not very familiar with all the details in the anime, and I am also new to Bleach fandom, so I will be straying away from the canon quite frequently. I do my research but Bleach is a vast universe that is not so easy to grasp. I must admit, though, that there are also things in the anime that don’t make sense to me and I take the liberty of recreating certain parts of this universe as I see fit.
The Heart in My Hand
by chayron (lttomb@yahoo.com), beta-read by Ash and Athena
Part 3
From across the table, Ulquiorra watched Ichigo eat his cold pancakes. He glanced at the box Urahara had given them, which was sitting on the table, but it was empty, not even a crumb left. He was still famished, though.
“Not getting out of your body?” Ulquiorra asked Ichigo casually.
Ichigo stopped chewing and looked up at Ulquiorra. “Should I?” he snorted while pointing at Ulquiorra with the pancake in his hand. “I don’t think you’ll like it when I do.”
Ulquiorra couldn’t understand everything the red-head had said. He, however, was good at interpreting. For some strange reason, he felt pleased by the threat. Amused, Ulquiorra tapped the side of the empty box.
“So what are you?” he demanded. “You are certainly a Human, but you are also a Vasto Lorde. That should be impossible.”
Looking at him, the red-head pursed his now greasy, glistening lips. It was only natural that Ulquiorra wanted to know, but this was a conversation he didn’t want to have. Not now at least.
“It’s a bit complicated. We can talk about it when you regain your hearing,” Ichigo said, pointing at his ears.
Ulquiorra looked around the kitchen, and Ichigo realized that he was searching for paper. Sipping his tea, the red-head watched him leave the kitchen. A few moments later, the Arrancar returned with a notebook and a pen that Ichigo recognized as his own. He lowered them on the table in front of Ichigo and demandingly pointed at the notebook.
“Tell me.”
Unhurriedly, almost demonstratively, Ichigo finished the last drops of his tea, lowered the cup, and took the pen in his hand. In fact, he had expected Ulquiorra to be more interested in knowing where Aizen was and what had happened to him. Unless he already knew. Ichigo stared at the blank paper then, with a resigned sigh, started writing. Seconds later he tore the page out and passed it to Ulquiorra.
“Human, Quincy, Shinigami, Fullbringer, Hollow,” the Arrancar read aloud. He looked at Ichigo. “Are you telling me to pick one?” He crumpled the paper in his fist, not in the mood for games. He was considering smacking that weak Human body of Ichigo’s around.
Ichigo shook his head. He pointed at the paper then at himself. “All of that,” he said slowly. The red-head wasn’t certain he could still call himself a Fullbringer, but he felt he still retained a fraction of that power as well. That, without doubt, counted for something.
The Arrancar gave him a look of mixed astonishment and doubt. “Aren’t you a handful?” he finally said.
“Tell me about it,” Ichigo muttered, rolling his eyes. He could see that, even if skeptical, Ulquiorra did believe him – there was no reason for him to lie.
“Will you tell me how this is possible?” the Arrancar asked.
“Maybe later,” Ichigo said. He wasn’t particularly interested in sharing that kind of personal information with an Arrancar he barely knew, someone who was a potential enemy.
Ulquiorra didn’t understand his answer and Ichigo wrote this down on the notebook. Ulquiorra read the words, wanted to ask how much “later”, but then decided that he wouldn’t get a clear answer anyway and conceded to not voicing his question.
“What happened to Aizen? Did you kill him?”
Ah, so he didn’t know after all. Ichigo shook his head. “No. I didn’t actually manage to do anything to him.” With a sigh, he took the notebook and started writing down the whole story, starting with Aizen absorbing the Hogyoku, and finishing with his extremely long imprisonment sentence. He wasn’t certain it was very wise to do so, but sooner or later Ulquiorra would find out on his own. He wanted to see the Arrancar’s reaction to the information.
“What will you do now?” Ichigo asked when Ulquiorra just sat quietly, absorbing the words he had just finished reading. Ichigo couldn’t understand whether he was sad, disappointed, or apathetic. The Arrancar had a thoughtful look on his face.
Ulquiorra regarded him with his green eyes. At first, it didn’t seem that he understood what Ichigo had said but then the red-head saw him shake his head lightly.
“You want to know whether or not I will attempt to free him?”
“I really doubt you’d be able to do that, but yes,” Ichigo said, nodding. “I want to know if you’d do it if the opportunity arose.” The Arrancar was giving him a confused look and Ichigo groaned mentally. He reached out for the notebook.
“I will not,” Ulquiorra said, passing him the notebook. “I consider my debt paid. None of that concerns me anymore.”
Ichigo tapped the notebook with the pen and began twirling it around in his fingers. He wondered if that was true. Ulquiorra did die following Aizen’s orders, paid whatever debt he was talking about with his life and one would consider that part of his existence over. Was it really that way, though? He doubted it. He had the impression that Ulquiorra was more loyal to Aizen than that.
“What about Gin?”
For not being concerned about it anymore, Ulquiorra was asking quite a lot of questions. Ichigo sighed again and started scribbling in the notebook.
“That was foolish,” the Arrancar commented after he had read Ichigo’s story. “Why did he wait for Aizen to absorb the Hogyoku?”
Ichigo shrugged. He had asked himself the same question and hadn’t been able to come up with an answer. “He must have had his reasons,” he said. He noticed that the news of Gin’s death disappointed Ulquiorra, and, to his surprise, Ichigo realized that the Arrancar must have liked the former captain. Maybe it hadn’t exactly been that, maybe he had just piqued Ulquiorra’s curiosity, but it was still surprising.
“What are you going to do with me?”
The red-head shrugged again. He didn’t know. He was already going against Soul Society by hiding someone who was considered a dangerous fugitive. In addition, Ulquiorra had aided Aizen in his destructive plans. “I suppose it depends on what your intentions are,” he finally said. He wrote this down and showed it to Ulquiorra.
“I want to return to Hueco Mundo.”
Ichigo scratched the back of his head in frustration. “You can’t do that. Mayuri is probably already looking for you there; you’ll be caught in no time. Besides, you need to regain your strength first.”
Ulquiorra did know that. “I…”
Voices wafted from outside the house and Ichigo turned to the window, Ulquiorra following his gaze. In a few moments, Ichigo heard a key turn in the lock and the sound of his sisters’ laughter became much stronger.
“They’re back,” Ichigo said. He glared at Ulquiorra, who was giving him an amused look.
“Were you still thinking I did something to them?” the Arrancar wondered. “They are just children. Humans.”
“Trash by your standards, you mean?” Ichigo grunted, irritated.
Ulquiorra didn’t understand but he wasn’t in the mood to explain. He wondered frantically if he should tell the Arrancar to go and hide in his room. How long could he hide Ulquiorra, though? A week? Two? In any case, it would be impossible for him to stay unnoticed forever.
Ichigo was still half-way decided when his sisters entered the kitchen. Ichigo’s body twitching with apprehension; he waited for their reaction.
“Good afternoon,” Yuzu greeted loudly while heading to the fridge. She was carrying a heavy shopping bag.
“Hi,” Ichigo muttered.
Ulquiorra was quiet for a few seconds then nodded in answer.
“He can’t hear you even if you yell,” Karin said, following her sister with two more bags in her hands. “Just make sure he can see your mouth.” She turned to Ulquiorra and, motioning at him with her hand, asked, “How are you? You look much better already.”
The Arrancar nodded. “I feel much better.”
Ichigo looked from one to the other. “I gather you’ve met each other already?”
“What are you talking about?” Karin snorted. “Of course we have. We had breakfast together.”
“Oooh?” Ichigo drawled, glad that he had already finished his tea or he’d have choked on it. “Was dad there, too?”
“No, he wasn’t. He’s left for that seminar he’s been talking about for ages.”
“Oh, right, I forgot. When is he co-?” The end of Ichigo’s question was cut off as Kon suddenly tore through the kitchen. His sisters must have forgotten to lock the door.
“How dare you!” Kon spat, rushing straight towards Ulquiorra.
After turning to the Arrancar, Ichigo realized that Ulquiorra looked quite annoyed. It was very likely that he was contemplating launching a Cero at the Modified Soul. Ichigo raised his hands in an attempt to calm everyone down.
“Now, this is not how…”
“Are those my panties on your head?”
The voice was low and beyond dangerous. Ichigo turned to Karin. He saw her grab a frying pan right off the stove. He considered stopping her, but only considered. She was his little sister, and it was her panties on Kon’s head. At the moment, she could tear him to pieces for all he cared.
“Wait!” Kon shouted. “Wait, wait! This is not what it looks like. They just slipped onto my head accidentally. I swear!”
“Yeah, sure! They climbed there on their own, you pervert!”
With an outraged cry, Karin charged at Kon, who was still groping around his head, trying to pull off the panties. They didn’t even budge, he only managing to shoot himself in the eye with the waistband. Howling in pain, he scurried out of the kitchen, Karin following close behind. A series of crashes, thumps, and bumps followed.
“It is very lively here,” Ulquiorra noted at the vibrations of something shattering in the corridor.
“We should get a cat,” Yuzu said while filling the fridge. “I’ve always wanted a cat. They’re much quieter.”
ooOoOoOoo
It was Kisuke who opened the door for them and Ichigo noticed his eyes widen at the sight of Ulquiorra.
“Yeah, I know,” the red-head said, pushing the empty food box into the former captain’s hands.
Kisuke moved aside, letting them pass. His eyes followed the Arrancar, who nodded to acknowledge him but otherwise seemed apathetic. He could hardly believe that the Arrancar already had enough power to summon his casual clothes and even had some residual energy to store it in his Zanpakuto. Despite the fact that he had probably never done this before, it seemed that it came naturally to him.
Once inside, Ichigo and Ulquiorra followed Kisuke to the living room. They stopped at the doorway, not certain how to proceed.
“Ah, sorry about the mess,” Kisuke said, kicking some of the papers out of their way.
Following a narrow path among various documents and drawings, they finally reached the table. Motioning for them to sit down, with a promise for tea, Kisuke turned around intending to head to the kitchen.
“Hey,” Ichigo called to Ulquiorra, who, his hands in his pockets, started walking towards the opposite door. “Where are you going? Hey!” He started getting up, about to catch Ulquiorra by the sleeve. Kisuke’s hand, however, landed on his first, preventing the red-head from standing up.
“He can’t hear you. Let him look around – it’s a new territory for him.”
Ichigo snorted. “What is he? A dog?”
Kisuke chuckled. Then he noticed the red marks on Ichigo’s wrists and his eyes turned hard. “Did he try something?”
Noticing what had made the former captain’s voice sound so low and dangerous, Ichigo shook his head and folded his hands under the table, out of Kisuke’s sight. “No, he was just curious about how strong my real body is. I don’t think he expected it to be so weak.”
“Why are you in your body at all? Do you really trust him so much?”
That was more of a statement than a question but Ichigo found that he could neither deny nor confirm it. “I can’t really say,” he admitted. “Well, I’m more inclined to trust him, but… Currently I’m making a point. He can be quite difficult.”
“Making what point?” the former captain wondered. “By doing what?”
“By staying in my body.”
For a moment, Kisuke looked very amused. Then his usual fan appeared in his hand and he started fanning himself absently. In his opinion, Ichigo was looking for certain death rather than making a point. Surprisingly, this kind of thinking had always worked out in Ichigo’s favor.
Kisuke decided to use Ulquiorra’s absence and sat down next to the red-head. “There’s this thing,” he started. “He belonged to the Espada. You said he was number four, right? All of them had their number tattooed on some part of their body.”
“Well, yeah.”
“He doesn’t have one.”
Ichigo stared at him. How could he have missed that? He had seen the Arrancar naked twice and hadn’t noticed anything odd about him but now when he thought about it, he really hadn’t seen the number.
“You said you saw him die. And it’s not possible to resurrect a Hollow or Shinigami after their death. He’s probably a clone, Ichigo.”
“A clone?” Ichigo repeated numbly. “But he remembers everything… And he… Are you sure?”
“Memory works a little differently with Hollows and actually even most Pluses. It’s their entire body that can collect memories. The sense of touch, temperature, likes, dislikes, sadness, sorrow, longing, and so on. They don’t need a brain to store that.”
Ichigo shook his head. “He remembers much more than that.”
“Does he?”
“Yes.”
“Interesting,” Kisuke mused.
“Does he know?” Ichigo asked. “Does he actually realize that he’s a clone?”
The former captain shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe, maybe not. Depends on how Mayuri has gone about it and what has actually been done to him.”
Thinking, Ichigo put his hands back on the table. He tapped his fingers on the smooth wooden surface. “Should we actually tell him if he doesn’t know?”
“Not all at once,” Kisuke said. “And I don’t know that for a fact. He needs to recover first. This kind of information can make anyone unstable. Let him get used to his surroundings as well.”
Ichigo rolled his eyes. “He’s getting used to them alright,” he said, pointing in the direction the Arrancar had wandered off. The red-head doubted the news would have a big impact on Ulquiorra, though. The Arrancar didn’t seem to be bothered by these kinds of things and, since he wasn’t able to do anything about it, he would just accept it. At least, that was what Ichigo believed.
“Concerning…”
Both of them started at a sudden scream. It came again at once and their eyes shot to the ceiling where the cry had travelled from. The red-head grabbed his Substitute Shinigami Badge and was soon jumping through the door, his listless body folding over onto the ground behind him. A loud crash came from above, followed by a few more screams.
He flew up the stairs and jumped in the middle of what seemed to be a fight further down the corridor. He was just in time to block Jinta’s kanabo before it could flatten Ulquiorra to the wall for the second time. Shoving the Arrancar behind his back, he pushed the kanabo away with his Zanpakuto.
“What happened?” Kisuke asked, just a few steps behind Ichigo, his hand ready on the hilt of Benihime. The scene in front of him was quite confusing: Ururu was half-naked, wrapped in a towel, her hair dripping wet; Jinta was beside himself with fury, still struggling against Ichigo’s Zanpakuto; Ulquiorra seemed to be dazed and was having a hard time maintaining his energy level – his clothes were flickering and his Zanpakuto was already gone.
“Let me at him!” Jinta hissed, trying to push Ichigo out of his way.
“I was having a shower and he suddenly…” Ururu started explaining.
Ichigo groaned in disbelief. “For gods’ sakes…. Didn’t you knock?” Remembering that Ulquiorra wasn’t able to hear him, he turned his head. Then he realized the absurdity of his question and closed his mouth. He turned back to Ururu. “He can’t hear anything. Even if you told him not to enter, he wouldn’t have heard it.”
“You just let me at him!” Jinta growled, swinging his kanabo again. “Hearing will be the least of his problems!”
Kisuke walked over to the bathroom and took a closer look at the door. “He tore the hook off. Seems Arrancars are quite the voyeurs…” he said with a grin, his hand letting go of Benihime and searching for his fan instead. He doubted Ulquiorra had even noticed the hook, and if he had, he probably pushed harder just to see what was behind it that needed locking. He averted his gaze to the Arrancar behind Ichigo’s back. Ulquiorra was leaning against the wall, giving Ichigo’s back an angry look.
“So I found a bathroom,” the Arrancar stated, half-amused and half-annoyed.
Ichigo didn’t turn around, just nodded.
“Well done,” Kisuke complimented him with a grin. He grinned brighter when Ulquiorra glowered at him.
Past Ichigo’s shoulder, Ulquiorra looked at Jinta. He had hardly entered the bathroom before he had been grabbed and flung out of it, then that enormous kanabo smashed into him. He could have tried to defend himself, but this was not the first time he had seen the boy. Ichigo’s and Urahara’s reactions to him attacking Jinta were easy to predict. He would have been dead already. And he didn’t exactly want to be dead anymore.
“Jinta, move your kanabo away. Ururu, go and dress,” Kisuke said. The soft tapping of bare feet against the wooden floor that immediately followed his orders somehow sounded soothing to his ears. Then he turned to Jinta. “Well?”
With a displeased grunt, Jinta lowered his kanabo. “I still don’t like him!” he snapped.
“Jinta, he’s a Hollow – nobody likes him,” Kisuke comforted him. He chuckled at the look Ichigo gave him. “Except for Ichigo,” he corrected himself. “Ichigo likes troublesome characters, right?” He opened his mouth again, intending to tease the red-head more, but the chime on the front door indicated that someone had just entered the shop. Kisuke turned to Jinta and motioned with his head towards the stairs. “Take care of them.”
“Yeah,” Jinta said, turning to the stairs.
“Umm… Leave that here,” Kisuke said when Jinta weighed his enormous kanabo in his hand and propped it against his shoulder. “Don’t scare the customers off.”
With a loud clang, Jinta dropped his weapon and started descending the stairs. Kisuke turned to look at the hole in the wall: he could see Jinta’s bed right through it. This was going to take time to fix. He sighed then turned to Ichigo and Ulquiorra. Ichigo had finally sheathed his Zanpakuto as well. Ulquiorra didn’t seem to be well, and, not certain what to do, the red-head was giving the Arrancar a questioning look. The Arrancar’s clothes had stopped flickering, though, and had acquired a more tangible look to them again. There was an aura of chaffed and splintered plaster around Ulquiorra’s form. Some of the plaster had fallen off. Ulquiorra moved away from the wall, and there was a sudden rain of white plaster. Kisuke had to resist an urge to groan: there were bare planks behind the Arrancar.
“I can’t believe you broke into the bathroom while she was having a shower,” Ichigo muttered. “I thought that only happened in comedies.”
“Or horror movies,” Kisuke pointed out. “Or porn, maybe?”
Ichigo snickered. “What kind of porn have you been watching? No, stop, don’t tell me. That was a rhetorical question.”
Ulquiorra was still leaning against the wall, gathering his strength, when Ururu appeared from her room.
“Could you make us some tea, please?” Kisuke asked her. “We’ll be in the living room shortly.”
“Of course,” she said with a nod.
When they finally descended downstairs, with Ichigo supporting the Arrancar, the tea was already done, waiting for them on the table. At once, Ichigo returned into his sprawled body, arranged his limbs into a more natural position and poured himself a cup. Ulquiorra watched him with interest and a sort of uncertain amusement on his face, and then turned to look at the teapot. It didn’t interest him much and he turned away without touching it. He took a few documents off the floor and started reading.
From across the table, Kisuke watched the two thoughtfully. Whatever had happened between the two and whatever statement Ichigo had been talking about, this was taking it too far. Ichigo had to be more careful around the Arrancar; staying in his body all the time was just asking for trouble.
“So he only got better outwardly,” Ichigo summed up the latest experience. “His power is still nowhere near what it was before.” Still, it had been enough to scare him back in the kitchen. Ichigo grunted and took a sip of his hot tea.
“Keeping in mind what has been done to him, he’s recovering at a stunning speed,” Kisuke said, pouring himself a cup as well. “I just have one question – where’s the Shinigami robe he was wearing before?”
“Huh? He put it in the laundry box. Why? Is it important?”
“Laundry box? Really? It’s not his?”
Ichigo gave Kisuke a confused look. “Of course not. He obviously stole it from someone. I mean, it can’t be his. He’s… Can it?”
“Well, next time you come over, bring it with you.”
Ichigo nodded. He felt a stare and turned his head to see Ulquiorra giving him an accusing look. The Arrancar couldn’t follow the conversation and was displeased. There wasn’t much Ichigo could do for him, though.
“Umm… The Shinigami robe,” Ichigo asked him. “Is it yours?” Ulquiorra stared at his mouth and Ichigo wasn’t certain whether it was because he couldn’t understand or could but just couldn’t believe that he had just been asked that. The red-head felt stupid for even considering that.
“What?”
“Ugh… Give me something to write on,” Ichigo asked Kisuke.
“Of course it is not,” Ulquiorra denied as soon as he had read the words. “How did you even come up with the idea? I am not a Shinigami.”
Ichigo turned to Kisuke. “See? Not his. And yeah, how did you even come up with the idea?”
“Well, I’ve received quite interesting results,” Kisuke said with a motion at the wall; behind it was the apparatus they had run Ulquiorra through. “But if it’s not his, then it doesn’t matter. So did you find out anything from him?”
“It went the other way actually,” Ichigo admitted, embarrassed. “It was me answering questions.”
When Ichigo was summing up his and Ulquiorra’s conversation in the kitchen, he was interrupted by a knock on the door and Ururu appeared with a tray. She walked to the table, set down two plates with cookies and a cake, then two smaller ones. Ichigo thanked her and grabbed a cookie. It was fresh, crispy and smelled wonderful, as always. He loved Ururu’s homemade cookies and cake.
“And what about you?” Ichigo asked when Ururu excused herself and left. He hummed around the cookie in pleasure. “Any interesting discoveries?”
“From what I’ve seen,” Kisuke said, “Mayuri was mostly interested in his unique regeneration ability. Not many Hollows have it, and that of an Arrancar must be extraordinary. It actually is. It’s amazing.”
“Really?” Ichigo wondered. “Well, yeah, I’ve seen him regenerate limbs in no time.” He flinched. “Ugh, that’s where that blood on his body came from?”
For a moment, Kisuke wondered how much Ichigo really wanted to know. Then he decided that the red-head could handle it. “Yes, mostly,” he agreed. “And small parts of his internal organs are missing. The problem with his hearing and eyesight is due to Mayuri having cut off the nerves leading to his eyes and ears. It was either done with the purpose of the research or just to keep his senses dulled, or maybe both. There might have been more done to him but by this time his body has mostly healed already, so I wouldn’t know. And…” he fell silent when Ichigo looked as if he would throw up at any moment. The half-eaten cookie was suspended in the air in front of Ichigo’s mouth.
“Don’t worry, he’s mostly fine already,” Kisuke said. “In a few days, a week at most, he should also be able to hear. For the most part, his eyesight is back to normal. He…” he fell silent again. “Ichigo?”
“Yeah?” the red-head asked, still looking as if he was about to be sick.
“Get out of your body. Now.”
“Huh… What? Why?” He followed Kisuke’s gaze to his right and was met with two green unblinking eyes. They were cold as ice, hungry, and vicious. It was the look of a Hollow about to devour a soul. Ichigo stared back at Ulquiorra as if transfixed, seconds turning into minutes.
“Get out of your body now!” Kisuke hissed again. Ichigo didn’t show any intention to move and his hand traveled to Benihime’s hilt. Ulquiorra could easily snap the red-head’s neck at any given moment. Sucking his trapped soul out would only take a matter of seconds.
Ichigo wasn’t certain whether he was more afraid or angry. Here he had been feeling sorry for Ulquiorra only moments ago and suddenly he was about to get eaten by the bastard! This was absurd!
“Oh, shi-” Kisuke grunted when Ichigo punched the Arrancar in the face. He watched the Arrancar blink at the red-head. The punch hadn’t even scratched him.
“Are you serious?” Ulquiorra muttered. He touched his face then looked at Ichigo again. He seemed to be quite surprised. At what exactly, Kisuke didn’t know. It might have been himself experiencing a sudden craving for a soul, or Ichigo punching him with that weak Human body of his, or both.
The hungry feral look was gone from the Arrancar’s eyes and Kisuke removed his hand from Benihime. In the end, a Hollow was a Hollow, and the hungrier it was, the more dangerous it was.
“Kisuke,” Ichigo said. “Tell me again how completely safe it is to keep him at my house.”
TBC
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The Heart in My Hand