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Different Shades of a Smile	By : BookMaggot Category: Bleach > General Views: 1460 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: None of Bleach do I own, nor do I make any money, I cannot reap what I not sown, so please do not sue me!

Chapter List
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A/N For a while I've been meaning to write this story. It was supposed to be a one shot, but it will now be either a two or three shot, depending on how the next chapter goes. I've always had a soft spot for Sentaro, mainly because he crawled into my heart much slower than Ukitake or Shunsui did!

For all his silliness and competitive spirit with Kiyone he always came across for me as the more sensible one. He's also a man I can't imagine that's very 'in touch' with his emotions. He doesn't explore them and I think when he is confronted with them him, being a very hard and straightforward type of guy he is, wouldn't know what to do with them.

(So this story is a 'nudge' story of sorts)

It's just a thought I had about Sentaro, but I've been meaning to write a more 'emotional' story with him for a long time, I feel he is a character that deserves a little more attention, more than he is getting right now ^_^ If you have a different opinion on the him then by all means let me know! He's such an 'unpopular' character that I think he deserves a bit of discussion XD

In closing I hope someone enjoys it, I certain enjoyed writing it, and as always if anything looks iffy or wrong just let me know! I love constructive crit :)

BookMaggots

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Title: Beyond The Blue:

Warning: Depressing, a little boring perhaps and very self-indulgent XD

Characters: Sentaro, Ukitake, Shunsui

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Beyond the Blue

The wind was picking up. The red and earth leaves tumbled and danced, so easily swooped up by the currents as they rode the breezes. The sky was clear, pockets of white clouds lay strewn across the deep blue, and for a moment he wondered idly what lay beyond those skies. Perhaps some other world where life was perfect? Or maybe more darkness? He preferred the former of course, no one wanted more darkness-

“Sentaro?”

Sentaro started out of his thoughts by the warm rich voice. He looked over his shoulder and sure enough his Captain was standing in the doorway wearing a curious expression, “What are you doing?”

He blinked and looked down at his hands, they were dipped in sudsy water, bowls and cups drifted around the basin, but it took him a full moment to think up an answer.

“Sentaro?”

He cleared his throat, “I'm washing the dishes Captain,” he removed his hands and turned to look at his Captain fully, suds of soap dripping down to the fine wooden floor, he would clean it up later. It was something else to do, something to keep him busy at least. He bowed at his Captain, and staring at the immaculate floor he asked “Was there something you needed, sir?”

Captain Ukitake said nothing for a time, but Sentaro did not meet his gaze, whatever his Captain's thoughts they were his own and he had no right to know them. He cared deeply for his Captain, loved him like a father in some ways and knew he would put his life on the line if it ever came to that. But he knew where his boundaries lay. “No,” his Captain finally said in the same kind and caring voice, “I simply wondered where you were,” and then he turned and left calling over his shoulder a casual 'Carry on' before disappearing from view.

Sentaro straightened and he stood watching the door for a moment before he echoed a quiet “Yes sir” despite knowing his Captain could no longer hear him. The soft tip tap of water dripping was the only sound for a long time, only broken by the gentle blow of the autumn winds. He blinked, realizing he'd drifted off again and shaking his head he turned back to the dishes, determination set on his brow.

It had been like this for days now. He would casually drift off even when Kiyone or one of the other Shinnigami were speaking to him. This had not happened in the presence of the Captain, until now. He felt a tightness in his throat, and swallowed. It wasn't as if he didn't want to concentrate, everything just felt so much harder of late. Thinking, actions, reactions just doing things on the whole. He felt like lead truth be told, as if his arms and legs had been filled with it during the few hours of sleep he got in at night. It certainly felt like it when he forced himself to get up, pulling his body out of bed and trying to stand on shaky legs. His nights had been like that for almost two weeks now, broken and jolted like watching a puppet show in ten second intervals. He had no nightmares just the inane inability to sleep.

A finely painted plate was placed in the drying rack before he picked up a pot. Opening the tap he poured hot water into it, hoping to loosen the sticky substance on the bottom.

He didn't know why he felt this way, dark and heavy. As if he was being pulled down under water and had no chance to breach the surface for air. Like the whole world was pushing down on him, and everything people said only grated his nerves and made him want to shove them away and shut them out before he hurt them. Everyday he just wanted to run away and hide, pull the blankets over his head, curl into a ball and just get everyone to leave him alone.

The pot slammed into the basin, spraying water and suds everywhere and splattering his face in lukewarm soapy liquid. He closed the tap.

Why was he feeling like this? It didn't make sense, this hollow feeling, this feeling of sorrow and uncaring. The Captain finally had a lieutenant, Kiyone wasn't bugging him as much anymore and his sisters, whom he'd been taking care of for the better part of his life, had finally let him know they could cope without him for a while. For all respects and purposes, he should be happy. He should be more content than he ever had been in his entire life.

The soapy drops trailed down his face, leaving tear like stains on his cheeks. With a hard hand he wiped them away.

He should be happy...

And yet he wasn't. he was acting the opposite, giving in late reports, messing up on guard duty hell he'd even broken Ukitake's favorite tea set the other day because he'd zoned out and walked into a closed door. His Captain hadn't reprimanded of course, but he knew it wouldn't have mattered if he had, because he didn't care.

Senatro sighed.

He honestly had no feeling whatsoever for the damage he'd done or was doing.

And now he was staring moodily at a basin half filled with water and trying to swallow past a lump in his throat. While inside he felt tired and numb. It made no sense to him.

Finding some control in his arms he picked up the sponge and started to scrub softly at the bottom with some soap. It slowly dissolved, disapearing and breaking away from the pot, and later it would be lost, swallowed by the drain never to be seen again.

It was a sad thought, he felt, a terribly, terribly sad thought. Moments later this hands stilled in the pot, and he bowed his head. He couldn't do this anymore, he felt sick and tired, and constantly annoyed, he wanted it to end. Killing himself was just stupid and selfish, and he never understood why people would do something like that. But he could still leave, right? Give in his resignation, pack up and go? No one would miss him really, there wasn't any connection here or anyone that would demand he stay. Gods, it sounded so very simple.

And so very tempting.

Once again he looked out the window at the puffs of white hanging in the sky, scattered out like vanilla icecream, and wondered what lay beyond them.

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Second chapter will take a little time to write out, but hopefully it won't be too long!
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Different Shades of a Smile