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That Dreaded Word	By : Platinumsabr Category: Bleach > Het - Male/Female Views: 11539 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, or the characters from it. I don't make any money from the writing of this story, but I do enjoy writing it. Any Original Characters are mine however, as is the story itself, and if you see it posted elsewhere pleas

Chapter List
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What
Makes The Line Blur

She was much more at home here,
not because of the abundance of reishi or because it
was where she had been born, but because in Soul Society she was Soi-Fong, captain of the powerful Second Division, and not
to be messed with. In the Living World she was a pubescent-looking woman with
an attitude problem, here, she was a pubescent-looking woman with an attitude
problem and a well-earned reputation and division behind her name.

That was worth more to her than all
the money she had, which considering her position, her Spartan lifestyle, and
the lack of need of it before now, was a very impressive amount.

It had felt kind of nice to walk
into a place where everyone didn�t know who she was or what she was capable of,
it evened the playing field, and made it more realistic to what others would
experience. It had felt beyond good to know she could still strike fear into
people in the Living World even when they didn�t know anything else about her.
It was a good sign; it meant that no matter how conflicted or confused she may
feel inside, her appearance didn�t betray that at all.

She had left her idiot lieutenant
behind, mostly because she didn�t want him to see what she was about to do, but
the other forty-nine percent was because he annoyed the hell out of her. She
knew why Gwydion couldn�t stay in her division now, but from what she�d seen of
him fighting she really wished he had stayed. She could only imagine the time
he had spent training to use his left hand to have that kind of skill. Even
crippled, he didn�t let himself completely succumb. They needed more people
like him in the seated positions of the Second Division, or better yet,
lieutenant. The fact that she�d get to see him every day would be an added
bonus.

Whoa! Where�d that come
from!?! She realized as she stopped abruptly. She didn�t know what was
going on with herself anymore, both mentally and physically. The only thing she
could rely on was her strength, that wouldn�t desert her. Her heart and mind might,
but her strength was completely her own. If that ever left her, she didn�t know
what she�d do.

Fellow Shinigami turned in their
paths when they saw her coming, their heads lowered in respect�and probably
fear of making eye contact�and she rolled her eyes. Her reputation was nice,
but the behavior of those around her got sickening after a while. At least
Gwydion didn�t look at her like they did, he had looked at her with respect for
sure, as was expected when she had met him during that brief stint of being on
duty in battle, but outside of that he had no problem looking her in the eyes
like she was any other person. It felt strange when she considered the fact
that he was technically an unseated officer, but she allowed herself to skim
over that particular detail for the time being.

Right then what she was about to
do did involve him, but not as it had over the past week. It still felt
like she was betraying his trust to do this, and it left a sour taste in the
back of her throat for more than one reason. Why after only their two meetings
did it feel like she was betraying his trust? How was she to know she even had
any of his trust to betray? All of the emotion-oriented thinking had been
getting on her nerves, but considering the fact that it had been going on for a
few years now and was only becoming stronger with this new stimulus, it wasn�t
totally unbearable.

She entered the doors of her
destination and walked calmly through the rows of computers and other oddities
that were a common sight behind these doors. Even though it was no less creepy
then when a certain blue-haired freak of nature had run it, the overall aura of
the interior itself seemed much friendlier under its current leader. It was far
less intimidating at the very least, and needless to say talking to the captain
was no longer a chore for anyone, other captains included.

�Thank you Akon,
your help was invaluable.�

She knew she had found who she
was looking for when she heard that voice, and she rounded a console of
computers to see the haori-clad woman bowing respectfully to a blushing
scientist before the horned man named Akon walked
away.

�You know, Kurotsuchi, you are
a captain now. Usually they bow to you, not the other way around,� she said
casually as she leaned on the nearest wall.

Nemu
Kurotsuchi turned around, her sleeveless captain haori twirling behind her, and
she looked stunning considering that was the only addition to her usual outfit.
The white vest-jacket accentuated her legs nicely. She held her hands cupped
together in her normal ladylike pose, and she smiled warmly at the other
captain. �I have found mutual respect to be highly encouraging to division
morale. I am a fellow scientist, not just their captain. As long as they
respect that, I am more than willing to respect them. To what do I owe the
pleasure of your visit?�

The former doll had changed even
more after the death of her �father� but it could be wondered if she had really
changed at all. More like she had just been freed. The woman�s smile could melt
the heart of a cold-blooded killer, and give diabetes to a vegan in a single
blow.

Soi-Fong
straightened out and brushed off the front of her clothes. �I�m looking for
some information on a former member of my division, and since most of the
library has been digitized, I thought it would be easiest to go straight to the
best.�

Nemu
grinned faintly. �You honor me. Would there be any particular reason for this
sudden inquiry?�

She found herself suddenly
fighting a blush, for reasons unknown even to her, and though she thought she
was successful, with a woman like Nemu across from
her, she knew she had probably been found out already. At least she had enough
tact not to mention it. �It�s�personal.� Nemu arched
her eyebrow with an adorable curious cock of her head and she quickly
backpedaled. �F-For now. I�m wondering if something
wasn�t hidden from my division.�

The Twelfth Division captain
nodded seriously. If something was hidden from the Second Division of all
people, then it had to be something big. The division rarely acted against one
of its own unless it was something very, very serious, and out of all the
divisions they were the most highly informed of every behind-the-scene action,
hell, they did every behind-the-scene action there was to be informed
of. If what Gwydion had said was true, then his accident had happened during
his time in the Second Division, and Yoruichi hadn�t notified her of anything
to that degree of seriousness at the time. If she as the lieutenant wasn�t
informed of something like that, she began to wonder if the captain had been
left out of it too. It seemed to�strange, to be a simple accident.

�That�s�unusual. Please, follow
me.�

The computer she was brought to
was large and secluded from the rest, and as soon as the beautiful woman sat
down her fingers started flying over the organ-like keyboard with impeccable
skill.

�Who particularly are you looking
for information about?�

�An ex-member of the Second
Division named Gwydion.�

Nemu
looked back at her curiously. �Normally I would ask for a last name, but with
one that unique that isn�t necessary.� With a few more expert strokes of the
computer�s keyboard, a file was soon projected on the large screen. Nemu was left dumbstruck as she stared at the screen.
�How�odd��

The file was classified.

That uneasy intuition that had at
first been nothing more than an excuse soon became a coil of dread in Soi-Fong�s stomach. She had been right,
something had been hidden from not only Gwydion, but the whole of the Second
Division. Sometimes, she hated when she was right.

�Leave,� she ordered brusquely,
trying her best to maintain her heartless mask.

�Excuse m��

�Captain Nemu
Kurotsuchi, please leave right now.� She had a bad feeling about this, she knew
if it was something hidden even from captains it had to have been ordered from
above the Captain Commander himself. Center Forty-Six had classified the file
themselves.

Even addressed as captain,
eliminating the veil of personal interest and breaking through to business, Nemu stood her ground, or sat her ground, as the case was.
�I do not understand why you��

It went against everything she
had ever taught, but she knew she had to�wanted to�see the contents of
that folder. It had gone beyond the realm of mere curiosity,
this had been hidden from Yoruichi too. Even if the Center Forty-Six at that
time had now all been destroyed by Aizen years ago,
she was still breaking ranks by doing what she was about to do. The divisions
were finally stable again, she couldn�t have more than
one captain implicated.

The Second Division captain had
more authority than almost any captain when it came to information, so what Nemu couldn�t unlock within reasonable means, she could.
Hopefully the new Center Forty-Six hadn�t upgraded the classification from the
time it had been implicated, her authority had grown enough over the years to
be able to unlock such a feeble classification with ease. Not if it had been
resealed however, but from their intrinsic laziness when it came to most
matters nowadays, she doubted that.

She would not have one of the few
people that called her a friend caught up in her prying. �I�m asking you�just
leave�� she interrupted yet again.

Nemu
stared at her for a long while, the blaring red letters on the screen behind
her pulsing in timed sequence, before with a shake of her head she turned
around and before the Second Division captain could do anything about it, lines of data were already flying down the screen from her
speeding fingers.

�What are you doing!?!�

�Nothing,� Nemu
stated calmly as she turned back around. �I�m already done.�

Gwydion�s
profile now lit the enormous screen, though she could see it clearly hadn�t
been updated in a long time. His picture was that of before he had ever been
injured. His hair was short and spiked, with the same blond tips she knew him
to have, but no eye-patch was over his right eye and though his face was
unexpressive, it wasn�t scowling either. �Gwydion�Torisuna.
Interesting name for one of the Second Division.�

Soi-Fong
wasn�t paying attention to her anymore, her eyes were
glued on the rank below his name. �F-Fourth Seat!?�
She had never imagined that his strength had once only been slightly lower than
Kisuke Urahara! How had she not known who he was!?

Nemu
continued to scroll down, but for all intents and purposes it looked like any
other profile either of them had ever seen. �Why would such an outdated
personnel file be classified above what regular captains can view? It doesn�t
make sense��

Whatever triggered it she didn�t
know, but as soon as that was said her entire body froze. �Go back to the top.�

�Why�?�

�It doesn�t matter,
just go back to the top!�

The impatience in the other
captain�s tone made Nemu comply immediately, and soon
they were back to his picture. �What do you see?�

�It�s not what I see,� the short
assassin said quietly as she walked towards the screen with her hand under her
chin. �It�s what I don�t see. Look, they�ve erased any information about
his zanpakutou; they don�t even list a name��

The scientist�s eyes widened
slightly and her fingers resumed their flurry of activity, only to be brought
to the bottom of the file. �You�re�you�re right. I�ve run a search of his
entire file, and the only things I�ve found with even the slightest mention of
the word �zanpakutou� are these�video logs?�

What? �What the hell are
video logs doing in a personal profile report? This is making less sense than
it was before!�

Nemu
sat back in her chair with her regular expressionless face that she used when
she thought intently. �It would make sense; that is, if those recordings are
what classified the profile in the first place. It�s no wonder it hasn�t been
updated in so long then if that�s the case, no one in a right state of mind
would bother trying to break a classification of this level
years ago.� Soi-Fong looked at her with her
eyebrow raised and the young mother and scientist merely smiled demurely back
at her. �Friends rarely do sane things when it comes to helping each other, Soi-Fong. Two captains are less likely to be penalized than
just one.�

The other woman didn�t know what
to say to that.

�What? You thought I didn�t know
what you were trying to do? As you stated earlier, I am a captain now.
Though it might not be much, I believe all of us in the Association have gotten
to know each other very well over the years. I am not the kind of person to
stand by when someone I know is willingly walking into danger.�

Soi-Fong
almost smiled. It went against everything she had trying to hold herself and
her division to since she had taken over, but now that she was experiencing it
first-hand, she couldn�t describe what it felt like to be helped by a�friend.
No betrayals, no strings, just free choice, one she
hadn�t allowed herself to make in a long time. She couldn�t remember when the
last time she had allowed herself to help someone instead of merely using their
sacrifice. �If I didn�t know any better I�d think you hadn�t just been made a
captain a few years ago.�

Nemu
smiled at her again. �It is a good thing then that you do.�

Reluctantly, the hard woman gave
a thankful grin to the other captain before returning to her usual self. �So,
considering the time this was made the only person that would have had the
ability to record their decisions like this would have been��

�As the
classification implied: Center Forty-Six.�

�But what would they want
with a Fourth Seat officer who had done nothing wrong his entire career? To
make it to the Fourth Seat in the Second Division of all places would require
some strict loyalty to the law. Why would they have reason to classify his
file?�

�Perhaps his loyalty was why in
the first place. Guessing like this is not helping anyone, if we want to get
anywhere I suggest we watch these files and see for ourselves. The dead can�t
speak for themselves, so the only way we can know anything anymore if through
these files.�

It burned her insides to think of
the treason she was doing willingly, but she had to do it. She knew she had to,
she didn�t know why it mattered so much to her, but there was something in her
chest that wouldn�t let it go. It was insanity to do something like this after
having so little contact with him, but in her mind, in her own mind, the
one not controlled by the orders to which she had followed without question,
she knew this was the right thing to do. She had never imagined rebelling
against her old self may in fact lead to rebelling in general, but she had to
cross that line. Something�something in her chest wanted her to.

�Well, let�s do it.�

~~~~~~~~~~

It had felt good to talk to her,
to talk with anyone period, but she was a special case.

It was unnerving in a way, ever
since he had been disabled, apathy and coldness had been what he relied on
most, his demeanor, just like his clothes, had become a shell for him to hide
in. He hid his disability, and to this day not even a handful of people knew
about it. His clothes hid it well, he had designed
them to do so.

His heart was wounded and his
trust was all but dead, but she�he couldn�t quite explain what had made it so
easy to talk to her. He remembered her from long ago,
the fierce girl that rose through the ranks like the devil himself had been on
her tail. He had only seen her display anything other than a scowl when she had
been around their captain, and after her betrayal, the few times he ever caught
a glimpse of her he could see her hatred burning in her eyes.

He hadn�t expected that after all
the time between then and now, their first meeting would involve her running
face first into him. Whether it was because Yoruichi had returned, the changes
that had taken place in Soul Society, or any other number of things he couldn�t
be sure, but the last thing he had expected was for her to ask him if she could
join him.

She hadn�t noticed him when he
had been part of the Second Division, hadn�t even recognized him when she ran
right into him, but it was then, in this time, when he felt like less of who he
was with every passing day, that fate decided to throw him the one person that
would see through his mask and pain like it was second nature.

Out of most everyone in Soul
Society, she was one of a select few that would be able to recognize the pain
of betrayal, and the aftereffects of it. There were others to be sure, but most
had been able to overcome that feeling already, even Momo
Hinamori was now part of that group. How he wished it
had only been an emotional scar, but this was one both emotional and
physical, and it reminded him every second of every day that he would never
paint as well as he had back then. He would never play most of the beautiful
instruments that created his favorite music, and would never write with the
same flow again.

It had taken him years to be able
to use his left hand functionally in battle, and decades after that for him to
be a major threat again. But he was always impeded, always reminded by the
blatant, disgusting emptiness where his right arm had once been that he would
never be the same. He was blind in his right eye, and missing his right arm; he
felt like half a person.

But he couldn�t hide everything
around her, she saw right through him like it was
something she saw in the mirror every day, just like he did. It was unnatural,
unnerving, and one of the strangest, most euphoric things he had ever felt in
his life. Someone was there, someone that understood everything he had been
trying to hide. He could see it in her own eyes, it
had dimmed, but he could still see it. He knew her betrayal though, after
knowing her for as long as he had it would be impossible not to know. Anyone
with the slightest bit of humanity could see the adoration she held for their
captain, he knew that feeling well too.

He found he wanted to see her
again, but it was something he hadn�t felt in so many years he didn�t know
where to start anymore. This wasn�t like the past, this was a time where anyone
could be with anyone without prejudice or hatred, but he still found himself
hesitant. He knew why though, that wasn�t hard. He only had to look down to the
right to remember why. He thought he had felt someone following him the other
day, but he was too angry at himself to look into it further at the time. There
was no reiatsu anywhere along the way when he checked the next day, but he
couldn�t rule out the possibility.

He was distracted,
he knew that, that was one of the few reasons why he could feel the wind
whistle by his ear as a fist flew past his head. Being distracted during a bout
against the one and only Tatsuki Kurosaki was not a good thing to be,
especially when one happens to be blindfolded at the time. His mind suddenly
reeled with the muscle memory still simmering in his body as he remembered
every move he had done during his time daydreaming, and he quickly adjusted
back into the movements as he tried to feel where she was through her uncontrollable
reiatsu.

Not like that did much good, she
was classified as a lieutenant, but her true level was that of captain, or
possibly beyond. Anyone who had faced the Vizards in
battle came to that conclusion very quickly. If there was a level beyond
captain, they had reached it, and Ichigo and Tatsuki had gone beyond even that.
It was easier to sense reiatsu with no sight, but keeping up in battle while
relying solely on that was a lot harder than it may sound.

If only he had his right arm
back�

The distraction finally gave way
to his defeat, and he found his heavier frame easily bent over her fist as she
landed a solid blow to his stomach before an uppercut to his chin sent him
sprawling to the ground. He slid the blindfold from his eye before rubbing his
jaw in pain. There was no greater motivator in training than knowing Tatsuki
Kurosaki rarely held back on her punches, but sadly his mind had been elsewhere
today and that seemed where it was determined to stay.

�You�re unfocused today, Gwydion,
that�s not like you,� Tatsuki said as she removed her own blindfold and held
out a hand to him. He gritted his teeth as he lifted himself off the ground by
himself, and Tatsuki merely shrugged and straightened out. Since the backyard
of their house, and also the division headquarters, was so large, they were
still in their physical bodies, though Gwydion�s
blindfold was over his eye-patch so he still had it on despite the blindfold.

�Even I am not immune to the
thoughts of life, Tatsuki-san.�

The black-haired woman sighed in
mock-exasperation. �There you go again! How many times do I have to tell you to
call me Tatsuki?�

�You are not only my superior,
but you are also taking time out of your schedule to try and train me. I will
not address you in such an informal manner,� he explained matter-of-factly as
he brushed off his clothes.

�You didn�t seem to have much
trouble talking to Soi-Fong the other day. What do
you call her?� The lieutenant asked jokingly.

�We were speaking under the
pretense of being off-duty, and she introduced herself as Soi-Fong.
She is not my captain, and unless she asks me to do so I will respect her
wishes and continue to call her by name. Should we ever meet on-duty, I will
address her no less formally than I do you.�

He heard her mutter something
that sounded suspiciously like �the guy just can�t take a joke� as she shook
her head with a hand over her eyes. �Thanks for telling me about that club by
the way, the Association had a really good time.�

He gave her his odd half-grin as
he brushed a few of his long bangs off of his face. �So I noticed.�

�What do you do all day, Gwydion?
It�s not like a Hollow occurrence is an everyday thing. I know you like going
to that club in the evenings but what about when you�re not here sparring with
me?�

He paused to think about that for
a moment. �I�m thinking about how I can better spar with you.� She laughed at
that. �But, I think the best thing to do is simply watch the town. There�s a
hill just like this one on the other side of town, and there are few other
places where I�ve seen such beautiful sunsets��

She grinned. �You�re impossible
to understand sometimes, you know that? You�re the only person I�ve ever met
who�ll fight me using only his left hand, but for the rest of the day you�re
probably in a tree somewhere watching the scenery change.�

His half-smile appeared again as
his violet eye twinkled. �You say that like it�s a bad thing.�

Tatsuki just stood there, shocked
at his sudden moment of having a sense of�well, a personality. She smacked her
hand against her forehead as she sighed. �And then you do something like that
and confuse everyone even more.� She grinned her usual confident grin as she
sat down on the porch nearby and picked up a water bottle as she threw him his,
which he caught in his sleeved hand. �But no, it�s not a bad thing. I just
can�t understand why you wanted to transfer here. Your fighting still
needs work, that�s true, but you�re fighting me with only one hand. You
must be at least lieutenant level by now.�

A laugh forced its way out of
him, and it was all he could do to hide the disgust in his voice. �Compared to
you and your family, I think I deserve my current rank. Any more responsibility
and I would end up doing paperwork rather than sitting in my favorite tree
sketching the landscape anyway. This was a perfect position for someone like
me.�

She chuckled. �That�s surprising
coming from one of the most serious people I know. Just when I think I should
say you should lighten up, you say something like that and I don�t know what to
think anymore. Was the reiatsu-sensing training because you had nothing better
to do?�

His violet eye darkened as he
looked over at her seriously. �I know I�m not the first person you�ve seen
wearing an eye-patch, Tatsuki-san, but please remember that unlike them, mine
is necessary. My blind spot puts me in constant danger if I don�t finish the
battle in the first few seconds, and yet you fight with no sight at all all the time in your Bankai. I thought it would be prudent
to try and learn how to do that. If I can fight with no eyes, then it would be
much easier to compensate when only using one.�

Tatsuki chuckled and rubbed her
head guiltily. �Sorry about that. I keep forgetting ya
know? I�ve never trained anyone to fight like me before, it�s true I can�t see
see per se when I use Bankai, but Kouki
amplifies my regular reiatsu-sensing abilities to levels most Soul Reapers
can�t even conceive of, and even back when I was a regular human they were
nothing to laugh at. Honestly, I don�t know if something like this is even
plausible without abilities or a zanpakutou like mine. You�ve been doing really
well, but in the end it�s something you gain through experience, not teaching.�

His face softened somewhat.
�Don�t sell yourself short, what do you think you�re
giving me by fighting me like this? Real fighting is the best way to train an ability like this, you know that.�

She laughed and smiled at him gratefully.
�Yeah, I do. Kouki pounded that into me day in and
day out! It does feel kinda unfair though. I mean, I
know fighting stronger opponents�ll make you better
faster, but damn, I�ve never seen someone fight someone stronger than them with
only one hand when they�re fighting with such a huge handicap already! You�re
something else, I�ll tell you that.�

Even though it was supposed to be
a compliment, every word stung his heart like a blade. She was going on the
assumption that he could use his right hand and was simply choosing not
to, but the truth was he was giving it everything he could and he could still
only get so far against someone like her. With his body like this, he had
reached his limit. If only�if only�.

He felt like a coward.
Admittedly, his iaijutsu was far beyond nearly anyone
else�s, but that was only because if he didn�t finish it quickly he was putting
himself in danger. He hid in his clothes, hid behind his scowl, and used a
technique infamous for its underhanded use. Of course, all�s fair in battle,
but it was still one view on the technique.

Nevertheless, like everything
else, he hid that behind his mask of disinterested indifference and bowed his
head to her slightly. �Thank you.� The words felt heavy on his tongue, but he
prided himself on his manners and thus it couldn�t be avoided.

Tatsuki took a deep breath and
sighed happily as she stretched in her chair. �So�how�d that thing with Soi go anyways? She looked like she was ready to bite
someone�s head off when she left, and when she ran into you I thought the first
thing she was going to do was punch you in the face! Her temper�s worse than
mine! I gotta say we were all pretty surprised when
we saw you two sit down together.�

No more surprised than me, he
thought. �What�s to tell? We exchanged pleasantries, and eventually a Hollow
emergence cut the meeting short.� He didn�t go on to tell how she fought with
him against the three Menos, or how she had come to
see him again early the next week, but those were details he didn�t think he
needed to disclose. He was on friendly terms with the Kurosaki family, but
�friends� were something he had very little of. He had people he respected, not
people he trusted. Jyushiro, Retsu,
and Yoruichi were the only people in all the worlds that had both.

She humphed disappointedly. �Still surprising you
came out of the encounter unscathed.�

He rolled his eye. �Whatever.�

She laughed. �Well? D�you wanna
go again? We need all the able fighters we can get with the lack of
replacements lately.�

He pulled his blindfold back down
around his eyes as he slid out of his chair, his baggy sleeves gliding in the
air behind him. �With pleasure.�

~~~~~~~~~~

Both captains present, equally renowned
for their relatively impassive personalities and ability of being rarely surprised,
were both in various degrees of shock as they stared up at the large monitor
that had just recounted the tales told by the recordings.

�What�the hell is this?� Soi-Fong whispered in disgust. What she had just seen was
the very pinnacle of violations against any one person. His experience hadn�t
been like hers, where it was more of an impromptu situation that brought about
something only she really considered a betrayal. He�he had been betrayed in
every sense of the word by the entire upper echelon of Soul Society itself, and
he didn�t even know it.

�Those�those bastards��

She had never heard the quiet and
reserved Nemu Kurotsuchi use such language before,
but she agreed wholeheartedly, which was in effect admitting she did in fact
have a heart.

�As much as it pains me to say
it, Aizen actually did something right before he deserted.
Those�things were as corrupt as they
could be!�

Nemu
nodded, her cute eyebrows scrunched into a very unapologetic scowl. �What do we
do now? No one who sees this will allow punishment to be brought out way, but
being as the entire Center Forty-Six at the time are now all deceased, it does
us no good. Even this Torisuna-san, if he is still
alive, I cannot imagine the hatred he would experience if he was told of this. They�re
all dead, he would have no way of doing anything about
what he was put through��

�A living hell,� Soi-Fong finished darkly. She couldn�t tell him about this,
but he deserved to know. He had been betrayed not because of his actions, not
because of his words, but simply because of his being. They didn�t even consider the Maggot�s Nest, but if she
thought about it, it was easy to figure out why. He was a high-ranking officer
in the Second Division, he already knew about it, and with the power he had at
his disposal, they wouldn�t have been able to get him in there if they tried.

So they had gone with their only
other option they, as small-minded as they were, could think of. They had set
him up, and in the cruelest way possible. He was more skilled than they gave
him credit for, and against all odds he survived, but in the end they had still
been satisfied with the result. He had been crippled in the only way that
mattered, and that was good enough for them. He would be much easier to handle
if they ever felt the need to dispose of him because of what they had done to
him.

She felt herself nearly shaking
in rage, and not just because the Second Division had been deprived of an
officer with amazing potential because of a mindless insecurity on the part of
Center Forty-Six. They had taken away Gwydion�s art,
not just his position. He had been one of the most loyal officers they had, but
that meant nothing to them.

She wanted to see him again, to get
to know him even better, but could she do it now, knowing what she did? Would
she be able to keep it from him? The more she saw him, the more she thought
about him, the more he wouldn�t leave her mind. It was terrifying. Already she
was worrying about his feelings, and about what he thought of her. After only a
few meetings, the man with a past remarkably similar to hers yet different in
so many ways, had actually succeeded in getting under her skin. She really had
become soft over the years.

For some reason, it didn�t
surprise her that it would have to happen with one of the most difficult cases
there were.

Soi-Fong
tucked the hard disk containing a copy of the folder into her haori and sighed
wearily. They wouldn�t dare touch her or Nemu, not if
they both had evidence of what the previous Center Forty-Six had done, but that
would require them doing actual work, and nowadays they seemed perfectly content
to let the Gotei Thirteen be a mostly autonomous organization
with the Captain Commander doing most of the directorial work. Even if they
found out about what she had accessed, it wasn�t likely they would do anything
about it. By now they were nearly figureheads as it was.

She could only hope he forgave
her for looking into his past like this. There was no one for her to kill, no
one left to punish, even the perpetrators themselves had all lost their lives
during the encounter. The only thing she could do was be there with him, as
frightening as that sounded. She couldn�t imagine what his experience would
have been like. It went far beyond disregarding helping a companion to finish
off the opponent, as was her�rapidly decaying�mantra,
it was a straight-out betrayal, albeit they had been ordered secretly. He had
to be told at least that much, he deserved that.

She would tell him, she had to.
He had been teetering on an edge of depression that she knew intimately, and
she could only hope that she could stop him from destroying himself. The reason
for his betrayal had been so�so impossibly unbelievable she wouldn�t know what
she would do if she was in his position.

For only the second time in her
life, she wanted to help someone. She wanted to be someone to him, wanted to be
close to him, and the most terrifying part of it all was she didn�t know if it
was because of a sibling-like, friend-motivated emotion, or�something�else�.

�Thank you Nemu.
I�ll deal with this from here.�

A quiet nod from the other woman
was all she received before she started furiously typing again, and with a dark
sense of foreboding floating over her like a cloud she walked out of the
Twelfth Division.

She had to tell him.

~~~~~~~~~~

Author�s Notes: Not much this time I know, but next chapter is
going to have more. I know character building can get tedious after a while,
but with two characters like these it�s necessary and angst is a major part of
the reason they�re both attracted to each other. Besides, writing the inside of
Soi�s head is pretty intriguing, and I like to think of
what�s happened to her over the thaw that�s happened all around her. I�m sorry
if she seems out of character in places, but remember I�m relating to mostly
her inward thoughts and her outward expressions have remained relatively the
same, with a few exceptions.

I hope you all enjoyed the
chapter and stay tuned for the next one!

Feedback is always appreciated,
as you know, so please don�t hesitate to tell me what you think. I can�t write
better without knowing what you all think.

More plot to come, believe me!
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That Dreaded Word