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Seireitei Monogatari	By : Crya2Evans Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 62186 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Title: The Big Players

Pairings: None

Characters: All thirteen division captains,
vice-captains, and Ichigo

Rating: T (for cursing and toilet humor)

Words: 1101

Description: There may have been more than one reason
Aizen left after all.

Considering the current
state of affairs in Seireitei, it came as no surprise when a meeting was called
involving all of the highest powers. Every captain, vice-captain, and Ichigo
Kurosaki were ordered to attend the meeting. In Ukitake�s case, his two
third-seats served as temporary vice-captains, while Kira, Momo, and Shuuhei
were provisional leaders of their respective divisions. Yoruichi was missing in
action.

Yamamoto stood proudly at
the front, his vice-captain a silent presence at his side, as he swept his aged
gaze over the big players in such a tragic game. So many losses, so few gains,
and yes, Yamamoto felt a heavy sigh coming on. However, he refrained from
issuing the sound, noting that many were becoming fidgety as they waited for
him to say something.

He droned on for several
minutes, reciting old nonsense about honor, duty, and loyalty. He claimed that
they needed to bond together as a unit, that nothing would overcome them if
they were strong. That they all were respectable and devoted shinigami, diligent
in their work, and it was up to them to make sure the laws of death remained
valid.

�However,� he blathered,
already sensing that many were falling asleep on their feet despite repeated
elbow gougings by their vice-captains. �That is not my main purpose for calling
you here today.� He banged his staff on the ground, waking them all up.
�Considering the two ryoka events recently, it has come to my attention that we
have a serious security problem in Seireitei.� His honorable eyes swept over
his underlings. �Any suggestions?�

For a moment, there was
complete silence.

Then they heard it� quietly
at first but gaining in volume as it announced its presence with the loudness
of a trumpet, and it was rapidly accompanied by a very nauseating odor that
diffused all too quickly through the first division chambers.

Someone had farted.

As one, each and every
member turned towards Zaraki Kenpachi, certain that the rude and crude captain
of the eleventh division was the only one capable of such atrocity.�

He grunted, �Not me.�

On his shoulder, Yachiru
giggled. �Yeah!� she chirped. �Cause we ain�t dead.�

They weren�t sure what to
think about that.

Accusation number one
unfounded, every female then turned to Mayuri, certain that the disgusting and
foul captain was the only one revolting enough to do so outside of Kenpachi,
especially since Ichimaru had turned out to be a traitor and everything.
Because that bastard could get away with anything.

Mayuri�s eyes widened, heart
thudding painfully in his chest at the fierce glare that Nanao was sending his
way. He frantically shook his head, words caught in his throat as he waved his
hands, vaguely resembling a clown bird.

Soifon glared at her
vice-captain since she knew he had tacos for lunch.

Omaeda cringed, expecting to
be struck.

There was a brief moment of
silence. Then, it erupted, every voice striving for dominance above the others.

�Shunsui!�

�Not me this time,
Jyuu-chan.�

�What do you mean, this
time, taichou?�

�Yare, yare. If you didn�t
notice it before, you aren�t going to notice it now, my sweet Nanao-chan.�

�Aizen-taichou would have never
done anything like that.�

�Shut up about �im already!
The man�s gone fuckin� whacked.�

Unohana chose that moment to
sniff daintily, unaware that her vice-captain was turning green at her side.
�Someone needs to come in for a check-up,� she chirped lightly.

Isane cringed.

�Matsumoto!�

�Ooh, taichou�s trying to
place the blame on me!�

�Well, that bastard
Ichimaru�s not here anymore. It had to be you.�

�Own up to it, you big, dumb
ox!�

�Whoever smelt it, dealt it,
woman!�

�Whoever denied it, supplied
it, oaf!�

�My, my.� Ukitake smiled as
he watched his third-seats argue. �It�s not that serious.��

Shuuhei and Kira exchanged
glances, both of them knowing that the offensive bleat had been somewhere close
to their area. Both were certain that it hadn�t been the other, which led them
to one other person, especially since Iba was the perfect picture of bewildered
stupidity. They turned to their redheaded friend.

�Abarai-kun!� Kira
exclaimed, pointing a finger at the stunned vice-captain.

Cherry-colored eyes widened.
�It wasn�t me!� Renji immediately blustered.

Shuuhei shook his head. �But
it came from over there,� he replied logically. �Therefore, it was you.�

�But it wasn�t me!� Renji
insisted, quickly flushing as his eyes flickered to his captain.

�Renji,� Byakuya stated in
an authoritative tone, his face completely impassive. To Kira and Shuuhei, it
sounded as if Byakuya�s noble sensibilities had been offended.

Iba leaned around Komamura,
who was looking slightly ill as he covered his overly sensitive nose with one
massive paw. �If it ain�t you, then who was it?� Iba demanded, just as certain
as Kira and Shuuhei that it had to have been Renji since it hadn�t been him.

Renji hung his head. �I
can�t say.� He looked slightly nervous, eyes darting to Byakuya once more
before just as quickly sliding away. He sighed. �I honestly can�t say.�

Shuuhei was smug as he
crossed his arms over his chest.

Ichigo had both brows raised
as he leaned in towards Ukitake. �Does this happen all the time?� he muttered.

The thirteenth division
captain grinned and waved somewhat dismissively. �Just enough to keep it
interesting.� He winked then before calling out something inane to his
third-seats, watching them begin to fight all over again.

The orange-haired shinigami
rolled his eyes. �I can see why Aizen wanted to leave.� No wonder it had been
easy for he and his friends to sneak in if this was what they called a strategy
meeting.

Suddenly, Yamamoto�s staff
rapped on the floor, instantly spreading silence throughout the room. He seemed
immune to the stench and didn�t notice that Sasakibe was looking vaguely
queasy.

�Honestly!� Yamamoto barked.
�You are like children. Can we get back to the matter at hand?�

�Yama-jii!� Shunsui
exclaimed, waving his straw hat in front of his face. �It was you, wasn�t it?�
He grunted in the next second when an elbow jabbed him in the side.

Nanao was not impressed.

Dead silence. A cricket
chirped.

The aged shinigami sniffed.
�Of course not. Now, on to more important matters. How to improve our defenses.
I will not abide by another ryoka invasion.�

The meeting proceeded as
planned, though the odor continued to linger, its perpetrator remaining
unknown.

*�� *�� *

He could have held it.

He just didn�t feel like it.

Besides, it was so much more
amusing to watch them fight over the blame.

And who would ever suspect
that it was Kuchiki Byakuya behind it?

-�� -�� -�� -�� -

Thanks for reading! And
thanks to Tennak for the review! I plan on writing many, many more of these so
expect it!

I hope to see some more
reviews!
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Seireitei Monogatari