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Bleach Mini Stories And Snippets	By : Strailo Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 27549 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
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Chapter List
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Title: He’s an Idiot
Arc: 4
Part: 6
Fandom: Bleach
Characters: Kira, Shuuhei
Word count: 1,783
AN: Ah…last chapter for this one. :D Next week, we start with He’s an Idiot 4, which is Kira/Gin/Stark in various ways. :3 Enjoy.
*~*~*~*
“So how is your thing with Kenpachi?” Kira asked as he eyed the multitude of boxes that lined one wall of Shuuhei’s home, making his friend blush as he laid out their take out.
“Call it a relationship because that’s what it is, unconventional as it is,” Shuuhei said, waving a hand to the coffee table. “And it’s going along so well that he actually bought a new home on the edge of the Eleventh, near the Eighth,” he continued as he sat down on a pillow. Kira gazed at him with disbelief in rich blue eyes for a moment before he burst into laughter. “Oh fuck off.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, really I am,” Kira giggled, wiping his eyes with a smile on his lips, a wonderful sight to Shuuhei. “Well, when the guy makes a move, he makes a move,” he hummed with a shake of his head. “Please say you got something with shrimp in it.”
“Of course I did.” Shuuhei pointed at one take out bowl with his chopsticks before grabbing one that held noodles with some sauce and chicken along with the noddles. “Anyways, the only reason why I’m not there is because I need to finish packing for tomorrow and because Zaraki is with Yachiru, who has a particularly nasty chest cold. I wouldn’t be much good beyond relieving him but I’ll be doing that in the morning.”
“Poor Yachiru-san. To be caught in that summer shower and right as Hitsugaya-taicho had to release his shikai,” Kira hummed as he poured some of the shrimp onto his plate. “She’s not going to get any worse is she?”
“No,” Shuuhei said, shaking his head and finding the dango, adding it to his plate and handing it over. “Unohana-taicho said that she just needs rest, lots of fluids and to keep out of any cold; so her room is rather nice and toasty compared to the rest of the house. I gave them my little box heater since the heater isn’t fixed yet,” he continued as they split the food between them.
“What’s wrong with it?” Kira asked as he bit into a dango ball with a hum. “There are a few wires that are corroded and need to be replaced before it can be used. Someone is coming sometime tomorrow to fix it for us.” He popped the dango ball into his mouth with a hum of pleasure.
“Well, that’s good,” Kira mused as they dug into their food. It had been almost two months since Kenpachi had gotten tired of waiting and had been pushed to pounce by a hollow nest clear out gone horribly wrong. Since then, Kenpachi and Shuuhei had been very happy as they built a real relationship between them. Many people had thought that they wouldn’t last beyond a month, if not a week, but they were all surprised by the very fact that they had lasted and were finally becoming a single household.
Yachiru was a very happy little girl, finally getting the ever so wanted and coveted second parent like person. She had even taken to calling him Shuu-papa in the last couple of weeks, much to Shuuhei’s pleasure. He had taken to being a father like a duck to water and doted on her while helping her learn how to be a proper fukutaicho very slowly.
It surprised everyone who wasn’t close to Kenpachi or Shuuhei, or at least knew how things worked with them. As Ichigo had said one day to a lower Eleventh seat, “You never quite know what is brewing beneath his face, what he would do next. All you can do is expect the crazy bastard to do something unexpected.” He had then kicked the idiots ass for the next oh so smart comment about his bottom status and getting on his knees.
“So you’re going to head over there tomorrow huh?” Kira asked, eating a bit of noodles and chicken as he gazed at his mint eyed friend.
“Yeah. A few of the Eleventh divisioners on Kenpachi’s shit list is going to haul the stuff over, via a carriage mostly for the heavy stuff. I’ll be there to make sure it all stay’s in one piece,” Shuuhei said, looking to his friend. “Isn’t Gin-san and Stark-san getting out tomorrow?” He asked, waving his chopsticks at Kira. The moan of unhappiness that came from the younger man answered his question. “Sorry about leaving you to do that on your own there, Kira.”
“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” Kira moaned, rubbing at his face with one hand before shoving a shrimp into his mouth. “I’ll just have to suck it up and do this without a hand holder. I’m just worried because one of the idiots did open their mouths about the damnable rumor that keeps following me around,” he continued after he swallowed the bite of food. “Of course, the idiot also hasn’t really been paying attention to anything those two said about anything that doesn’t have anything to do with the Winter War and any stashes that Aizen may have put around.”
“I seriously need to work on some people’s observational skills,” Shuuhei complained, groaning lowly to himself as he made a mental note to do that. “So you don’t know what the fuck they’re thinking or how they’re gonna act around you?” he questioned.
Kira took a moment to finish his food before answering. “Yeah, I’m going in blind here. Which sucks much for me,” he said, snarling lowly before shaking his head. “It will not be a fun meeting tomorrow.”
“You’re going to have to go over the rules, guidelines and their new duties right?” Shuuhei asked as he poked around in one of the take out bowls. He ate a bamboo chute as he gazed at Kira with a raised eyebrow.
“Yeah. Not only that but I have to be introduced to Stark-san the first time. Anytime I went to speak with Gin-san, Stark-san was always asleep. Though Lilynette is a sweet young girl despite her violent tendencies towards Stark-san,” Kira said, cleaning up the empty containers as Shuuhei continued to eat, watching him. “So this will be a very awkward meeting on my end and I am not looking forward to this.”
Shuuhei shook his head with a slight frown. “You’ll do just fine. You and Gin-san have been talking and getting to know each other once more for the last couple of years so just go in tomorrow as the professional fukutaicho you are and the friend you can be. You’ll do just fine,” he promised. Standing, they dumped the trash in the kitchen and moved to the living room. After flopping onto the couch, Kira propped his feet onto a plastic bin.
“Yes, I suppose you’re right,” Kira hummed, playing with the hair that fell over one eye, lips twitching as he thought of what was going to happen the next day.
He had indeed never met Stark face to face, the Espada having always been sleeping or training in the specialized training room that had been placed under their house by Urahara when they had been moved from the dungeons. They had moved after it had been confirmed that they were closely tied to each other and that Gin had been under Aizen’s control. But the man still interested Kira, just for the simple fact that he was a constant presence, even when he wasn’t in the room.
It had made for some exceedingly detailed dreams that forced Kira to stay away for a bit of time so he wouldn’t give away what he was thinking about.
“I have killed three more vibrators and gone through four very large bottles of lubes preparing to deal with those two,” Kira suddenly stated, Shuuhei giving him a wide eyed look. “Not to mention all the fucking batteries that I used.”
“Have you ever thought of maybe investing in some rechargeable batteries and maybe some power bases for your toys?” Shuuhei asked. “And with the way you go through toys, the store must be worshipping at your feet.”
“I’m actually going to give in and go to the human world, buy the male version of a rechargeable jack rabbit,” Kira admitted. “I have never gone through so many toys in such a small amount of time, not until I had to start dealing with those two to make sure that they’re ready to work once more,” he whined, flailing his legs as Shuuhei chuckled lowly. “I’m going to need to either find a lover who’s really good in bed or stock up on toys, lube and batteries.”
“Could always find one of those ‘clone a willy’ kits. I went with Hana-chan and Ichi-chan to buy one. Something about doing something for Yumichika-sans birthday. I didn’t ask why but I did find out if could be used for someone up to twelve inches long and at least two around. Could find an ex-lover and use it on him,” Shuuhei suggested before getting smacked by a pillow wielded by Kira.
“Fuck you, dick boy toy,” Kira snarled, eyes narrowed at his friend. Shuuhei burst into laughter before fending off the pillow once more, still laughing. It was the frantic knocking on his door that brought the attack to an end, prompting Shuuhei to jump up and nearly run for the door.
Opening it, he found an Eleventh division seated officer standing there, dancing on his feet. “What? Did something happen?” he snapped, the member snapping off a quick, sharp salute.
“Shuuhei-fukutaicho, Yachiru-fukutaicho wants you and there’s an emergency that Kenpachi-taicho needs to get to,” he said, still dancing on his feet.
“Alright. Kira! Got to go!” Shuuhei called out, Kira waving him off with a smile. As the door closed behind his friend, the younger man moved around to finish cleaning things up and packing away the last of the clothes.
Once he was done, Kira locked up behind himself and headed to his own home, bounding over the roof tops, his mind working over time. He was still nervous about the meeting the next day but Shuuhei was right. All he could do was go in and be himself while trying to keep the fact that he would probably go home and kill some more batteries off hidden.
It was not going to be an easy deal and he knew it. Landing before his front door, Kira pulled out his keys and unlocked the door, groaning to himself. “What a fine, fine hole I have dug for myself this time. I just had to volunteer to watch them,” he sighed before closing the door behind him, intent on going to bed.
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Bleach Mini Stories And Snippets