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The Wolf and the Demon	By : Zarakiswolf Category: Bleach > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 2172 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Bleach and it's characters (except my OC's) are owned by Tite Kubo. THIS IS NOT FOR PROFIT. I MAKE NO MONEY FROM THIS.

Chapter List
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Small whimpers wake me. My back is cold. I hear him talking softly and roll over, turning the lamp on. He looks less than thrilled, both arms occupied by an infant. I sit up and hold my arms out. He looks a little relieved and comes to sit beside me. "I think they take after you." he says softly.
"What do you mean?"
"They have loud bellies too."
"What do...oh. Uhm....Well, I guess I can try to feed them."
"What the hell do babies eat?" he sticks his finger under Takeshi's lip. "There's no teeth!"
I burst out laughing. "Babies don't have teeth, idiot." I remove my robe and hold my arms out. "Let me have one. Isane told me what to do."
He manages to shift Takeshi into my arms. My little guy is starting to really fuss. I get him situated and blush a little, avoiding eye contact with Zaraki as my son latches onto my breast. There's something strange about how it feels. I'm used to Zaraki sucking on me. This little one is gentle but it's a harder pull. After a few minutes I feel a strange sensation and I know whatever he's doing is stimulating the milk.
"So...guess that means no playin' with your tits for awhile, huh?" Zaraki chuckles.
"Probably not."
I glance over at him and melt. He is gazing at Michiko with a look I've never seen on his face before. Pride but a softness that just lays my fears to rest. Michiko looks at the finger he holds up and grabs it, her tiny hand looking so fragile against his giant hand. She seems content with his finger. "She's so tiny." he says softly.
"Most babies are." I reply, looking down at Takeshi. He's slowing down, it seems. His eyes...they're my mother's. It takes my breath for a moment. A few more moments and he lets go of me and yawns. I rotate him, offering the other breast but he simply refuses. "Trade me."
Zaraki does just that and offers his finger to Takeshi as well, who simply stares at it in irritated fashion before he lets out a scream again. Zaraki looks confused by this. "Why does he do that?"
"It's his war cry." I tease as I finally get Michiko latched onto the breast Takeshi wouldn't take.
"Well, he's a little small to be lettin' out a war cry. Gotta grow a bit."
"You seem to forget who his dad is. I'm pretty sure I hear your war cry a few times a day."
"Yeah, but at least I've grown into my hakama!"
"Physically, yes. Mentally...not so much."
"Brat."
I lay my head on his shoulder. "I love you."
"Love you too....you know I have no damn clue how to change a diaper."
"We'll have to learn together unless you want them running around naked."
"No. You do that more than enough....speakin' of, how you feelin'?"
"Still pretty sore but otherwise I think I'm ok."
He nods. "You did good. Might hafta breed you again sometime. You make pretty pups."
"I will murder you!"
He laughs. "I was just teasin'...they look a lot like you, Wolf."
"They look like you a little too, especially because she has your nose."
Michiko seems to drift into a doze as she unlatches from me. "Think it's time to figure this diaper thing out."
He sets Takeshi in my lap before getting up and retrieving the cloths for diapers and a few safety pins that Ichigo and Orihime had delivered a couple weeks ago. He also brings me a pack of wipes. I set Michiko beside me, since Takeshi is already in position, and unbind his blanket. I study how his diaper is on and mimic the fold pattern before getting him changed and folded back into his blanket. He coos at me softly before closing his eyes. Zaraki swoops in, picking him up and carrying him back to his little cradle to sleep. I get Michiko changed quickly and efficiently, wrapping her back up. She, however, doesn't seem to care for this arrangement. She starts whimpering. Once again, Zaraki swoops in like a damn vulture. However...she settles down immediately. He begins singing to her, softly and I have to wipe my eye. He's...not that bad of a dad. I watch him lay her in her cradle too before coming back and laying down beside me, turning the lamp off. I snuggle down beside him and he rubs my now ruined belly. I frown but don't fuss at him.
"Stop." he says suddenly.
"What?"
"I know what you're thinkin'. You're still beautiful. This belly is where my children have lived for the past few months. The fat will come off eventually. I don't care. You'll always be beautiful to me, Wolf."
"You're gunna make me cry." I whimper.
"Then cry. Roll over." I get on my back and he kisses me gently before reaching down and massaging between my hips. It hurts a little but feels kinda good too. After a few minutes he moves himself a little and kisses my belly gently in several places. I start crying and can't stop. His lips come to my face and kiss away the tears. "You're my woman. Now, go to sleep. You need rest, Wolf."
For such a big, manly man to show me such softness...I decide it's time to let my demon go. He's wrong about me. Wrong about Zaraki. I need peace.
****Kenpachi POV****
I watch over Wolf and the kids as she lets them chase her around the dojo. It's kinda cute. They're slowly pickin' up this crawlin' stuff. It helps that Harmona is in her wolf so they can see how to move their limbs better. Michiko face plants suddenly and I can't stop myself. I pick her up and check for damage. Other than big crocodile tears, she's ok. She gives me a big grin. "Yeah, that's my strong girl." I say.
"You know, Captain, you look absolutely smitten with that kid." Ikkaku teases, walkin' in through the door. Takeshi crawls right to him and pulls himself up usin' his hakama. "Hey, runt."
Harmona growls at Ikkaku but simply uses her teeth to pick Takeshi up and remove him from Ikkaku. She's been pretty irritated with Baldy lately and won't tell me why. He frowns and gets ready to snap at her but one low, threatenin' growl from her shuts him down.
"Dadadadadadada!" Michiko squeals at me, wigglin'. I set her down and she takes off after her brother.
Harmona shifts and stands beside me, keepin' an eye on the kids. She's lookin' back to her pre-pregnancy self, for the most part. Skinny as hell but her tits grew a little from feedin' the heathens. The weight had come off within' a month, her bein' to stubborn to wait for medical clearance to start workin' out again. I'd been lucky she'd waited a week even. It's been eight months since they were born and she's changed a lot. Overprotective, dark...just different. Like I see a determination she didn't have before. It's unnerving sometimes.
"Sir, sorry to bother you...and Wolf. We've got a message from Head Captain Kyorakou that he needs her for a meeting." Ikkaku says, starin' straight at her.
I brace myself. She surprises me however. "I'll go. If they get hungry before I get back, Captain, they seem to like rice with a little sugar added in. And tiny pieces of fruit."
"I know." I say. "Don't worry. They'll be fine. I ain't gunna kill em."
She glares at me, liftin' her lip in a snarl. "If I find even one hair on their heads harmed, you will be the one to die." she snaps before marchin' out the door.
"Cap'n, is everything ok? Things have been tense for a month now." Ikkaku asks.
"I don't know what the hell is wrong with her. She won't talk to me anymore...hell, maybe it's just stress. She's been holdin' somethin' in for awhile now. It's eatin' her up inside, whatever it is." I sigh. Takeshi grabs my hakama and pulls himself up before reachin' for me. I lift him and he yawns before snugglin' into my chest....right before screamin' at me. "Yeah yeah, war cry later."
Michiko grabs my leg. "Dadadadada!"
"What?"
She lifts her arms and I grab her too. They proceed to get in a screamin' match with eachother before settlin' down in my arms and yawnin'.
"Go take care of them. Yumichika is free if you want him to sit with them. You look like you need a spar."
"Yeah, that'd be good."
What would also be good is if my damn wife would fuck me. She's so busy with the kids lately she just goes to sleep as soon as they're out. I try to help as much as I can but she doesn't handle it well. It's like she's tryin' to prove she's capable of bein' a parent. She's more than capable, but she's just so overprotective of them it makes me angry at her frequently. Somethin's gotta give.
****Harmona POV****
"Hey, kiddo. How're things at home?" Shunsui asks as I walk into his office.
"I don't have time for idle chatter." I say flatly.
He blinks at me. "Yeah, I'm sure. However, that's exactly what you need. Harmona, sweetheart, you're a great mom but you're pushing everyone away lately."
"And? I don't mind. My kids are my focus right now and that's that."
"Which is how it should be but you also need to relax. Honey, you're so serious. What are you afraid of?"
"Failing them. That should be obvious."
"You won't. But you are failing your husband. I've never seen him look so miserable."
That stings but I know. "I'm pushing him away for a reason. I'm not ok, dad. At all."
This stirs his attention. "What's wrong?"
"The demon. I can't even get a full night's rest. I can't let him see me like this, so I push him away. When I wake in the night, unless the twins are awake, I go outside to the Rukongai and fight with the demon. I have no choice."
"What about the suggestion we made earlier? Harmona, trust in your abilities and Zaraki's. You won't be a death sentence for anyone."
I take a breath and sigh. "Fine. But I don't trust Mayuri. I want Kisuke to do it."
He nods. "I'll make arrangements with him. Now...I want you to let me or Renji babysit the twins for a couple hours today."
I frown. "Why?"
"So you can start healing the rift between you and your husband."
"But-"
"No buts. You know they are safe with us. We'd sooner die than let anything happen to them."
I think about it for a minute before nodding. "Alright. Fine. You come back with me and get them. Much as I love Renji, he's an idiot."
*************
Zaraki and Ikkaku are in the dojo. Where are the kids? Yumichika has Takeshi...I sniff and run. Michiko is in the dojo. I hear Shunsui following me. I get into the dojo just in time to see Michiko making a bee line for her father, who's sparring with Ikkaku. He sees her though and stops. Ikkaku, however, doesn't. I get between them just in time, his sword piercing my shoulder. Michiko stares at the blood dripping from the blade and screams. I grab the blade and shove it away, keeping Michiko in my other arm as I rise to my feet. "Baldy, I'm gunna kick your ass." I hiss, barely controlling my temper.
"Harmona, give her to me." Zaraki orders.
I glare at him before turning and handing her to Shunsui. "Take them and go, dad. Things are about to get ugly."
"Sure. Don't kill them." Shunsui sighs before turning and leaving. I hear him singing softly to comfort Michiko's frightened screams. I turn back around and draw Okami.
"Wolf, I wasn't paying attention. I'm sorry." Ikkaku says.
"Your not paying attention could've cost my child her life, you ignorant prick." I snarl. "And you, Kenpachi, you saw her. Why didn't you say something to the fucking idiot!?"
"I froze." he replies softly.
"Not good enough!" I scream before attacking both of them.
****Kenpachi POV****
She's got us both on defense. She's furious and I don't blame her. I don't know why the hell I froze earlier. I've never froze durin' battle before. I catch her blade with my side but it's gone in an instant. I hear Ikkaku scream in pain before he falls. She's back on me instantly, our swords clashin' in a shower of sparks....
I'm backed into a corner. Fuck. She'd told me before that losin' her temper durin' battle is a bad thing but I didn't realize how bad. I've cut her to ribbons and she's still on the offense. So this is what a berserker is. I need to distract her somehow before she kills me. I'm losin' too much blood. She nicked my liver. Fuck it hurts. She comes closer and I do the only thing I can think of. I throw Nozarashi to the ground. Her attention is on the blade so I tackle her. Okami clatters to the ground. "Alright, Wolf! Enough!" I growl. She's not healin' herself, her focus being solely on me. She curls her lip up and snarls...shit. Her teeth are changin'. Wait. That means.
"Shit!" I grunt as her claws come down, tearin' into my back. My blood splatters her face when she removes them. I react quickly and pin her wrists with my hands. She opens her mouth to let out a scream of rage but a drop of my blood falls on her tongue and almost instantly the change on her face makes me relax. That enraged fire in her eyes is gone finally and she relaxes. "Done?" I ask.
She doesn't answer, just stares at me keenly for a moment before her head darts up, her mouth capturin' mine. I hadn't noticed the men comin' in the dojo but the cheerin' and whistlin' is distractin' for a minute. Her kiss gets more demandin', urgently tryin' to convey some message to me. I finally respond to her, my tongue invadin' her mouth, makin' her moan softly. She releases her reiatsu finally. I feel it floodin' my system as my wounds start healin'. I groan as my side heals, the pain in my liver fadin' slowly. I pull away from her and get to my feet. "You done?"
"Yes. I think you got the message." she sighs before closin' her eyes. The rest of the tension drains from her body. "That was a good fight."
That fuckin' brat. "You just needed a fight?"
"No, I needed to beat your ass until you understand that our children's safety is my top priority."
"You suck at lyin'."
She sighs. "Fine, I killed two birds with one stone. I needed a fight too."
"You know you only gotta ask, brat." I chuckle. "What'd Shunsui want?"
"To tell me I'm being a bitch lately."
"Well, I must agree. You're over protective, nit picky, being a perfectionist and generally no fun to be around anymore." Yumichika chirps.
She gets to her feet. "Sorry." she says as she walks out of the dojo.
"Go after her, sir. She has something to tell you, I think, judging by what little bit Captain Kyorakou told me earlier. He also told me to inform you that the twins will be in his care until you two work things out."
"Perfect."
***Harmona POV***
I'm in the house, wishing for a drink, but since I'm still feeding the twins, I can't. This sucks. I sit at the table and drink some mango juice instead. Zaraki comes in finally and sits beside me. "Can we talk now or are you gunna push me away some more?"
"I'm not ok. It's getting worse. I can't sleep. Eating bothers me...I want to...Kenpachi, I want to take Kisuke's suggestion, if I haven't pushed you too far. I'm sorry I've pushed everyone away. I thought I could handle it alone but each day I'm breaking more and more. The kids are the only thing keeping me from snapping completely. I'm weak now." I blurt out before he can say anything.
"That what you need to tell me?"
"That and I'm sorry. You deserve better."
He sighs. "And here I was preparin' myself for you to say you're leavin' me. I like this conversation a lot better."
I stare at him before clambering into his lap. "I could never leave you, Pachi. I'm sorry."
His arms fold around me, his hand pushing my ear to his chest. "This heart will never want anyone else, Harmona. No matter what. If you'd said you wanted to leave, I'd have made you fight me for your freedom. You're mine. End of story. No matter how much you push me away, you will never be free of me. You gotta learn to trust me completely."
I realize that he's right. I don't trust him completely. "Teach me, Kenpachi. Teach me how to not be afraid."
I don't expect him to move so fast, pinning my back on the table with his hand on my throat. I can't breathe! The fear is flooding my mind. If I had a full bladder, I'm pretty sure I'd be pissing myself. He eyes me. "Do you have somethin' you live for, Wolf? Or are you gunna let me suffocate you?"
****Kenpachi POV****
She's lettin' her fear overwhelm her. I can smell it, the sour disgusting scent of pure terror. It's like lemons that've been left to rot in the summer heat on top of a pile of fish. She's not fightin' me. In fact, her eyes seem dull. She's not here. "Come on, Wolf. Don't shut down or you'll die."
****Harmona POV - Flashback****
I can't breathe. I struggle against daddy's hold but I'm so weak. So useless. I try to take a breath and end up with nothing but water in my mouth, flooding my throat. I struggle a few minutes longer before stopping. I don't care anymore. Let him kill me. My life is worthless. Nobody loves me. Nobody cares for me. Let me die in this disgusting pond water. Least maybe the fish will be fed for awhile...
***Kenpachi POV***
Shit! She's givin' up. I release my hand but she doesn't breathe. Goddamn it! I thought for sure her survival instinct would have made her fight...wait...that's why. Even now she wants to die. I won't allow it. I pinch her nose shut and put my mouth over hers, forcin' air in her lungs. She ain't dyin' til I fuckin' say she can! "Harmona! Breathe, damn you!"
****Harmona POV - Flashback****
"Breathe, damn you! Don't you die on me!" Shunsui yells.
"Leave her lay, Kyorakou. She's too fucking weak to fight so she's useless."
A hard thump on my back makes me sob, water pouring from my mouth. "That'a girl! Breathe!"
"I'll just kill her again."
"Shut the fuck up! She's not under your care anymore! Leave her the hell alone!"
"Make me!"
"Enough! Mori, you are not to harm this child again. You will spend a one month period on the Nest for your intolerable behavior." Yamamoto's angry roar sounds.
I crack my eye open and see Shunsui's face close to mine. He's holding me against his chest. "Swee?" my voice is barely more than a whisper.
"Shh. Don't talk, baby."
"Let me die...please. I don't want to live anymore."
"No! Don't you say that!"
"Please."
He holds me tighter. "I can't. I can't let you die, kiddo."
******
I open my eyes and hear Zaraki's relieved breath. My vision clears and he's above me, his hand stroking my forehead, smoothing my hair back. "Warn me next time you intend to kill me, please." I tease softly.
"I thought you'd fight me."
"I...had a flashback and froze."
He pulls me into his arms. "Tell me, Wolf. I can't teach you not to be afraid when you hide everythin' from me. I don't know what'll trigger you to panic and freeze like that."
"Mori held me under the water in the squad one pond once. Exactly the way you held me. I was ten...I nearly drowned. Shunsui saved me, of course....I wanted to die but he wouldn't let me, just like Okami won't."
"You still wanna die, don't you?" he asks.
I hesitate. "Yes...I'm worn down, Kenpachi. This demon is sunk into my mind so bad that I don't have faith in anything anymore. I'm so tired. I just want to be left in peace. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to die all the time but right now, in this particular moment, I wish I was."
****Kenpachi POV****
To hear her admit it is a kick in the teeth. She's suffered so long. I have to do somethin' but what? Hearin' the pain in her voice makes my heart bleed. I can't lose her though. I can't raise the twins on my own and I sure as hell don't want any other woman in my bed. "I'll make you a deal...let's get this demon out of you and you go kill Mori...if you still wanna die after that...I'll help you."
"I...can't die, Kenpachi. Okami won't allow it plus you ordered me not to. Your orders are absolute when you say them right."
"What the fuck do you mean, you can't die?"
She lifts her head, lookin' me straight in the eye. "Uhm...my zombies are the impersonations of the amount of brushes with death I've had. A lot of them are my attempts at suicide when I was younger. I literally can't die."
"There's hundreds of the damn things!"
"I know. They've been collecting since Okami first came to me."
My eye widens. I've got some hope then. She can't die so she's stuck with me. Good. I'll continue workin' with her then. I will fix her. "And the thing about the orders?"
She blushes. "When you say it with force and meaning, I can't disobey you, no matter what I want to do. Alpha means boss to a wolf. You could order me to slit my throat and, if you say it right, I will do it, no questions asked. My life is literally in your hands."
"So if I were to order you to go kill Mori right now?"
"I'd not stop until he's dead no matter what. But there's a catch. If you order something I'm not able to do, like, for example, if you order me to go swim, it'll drive me crazy."
"Why?"
She blushes. "I...never learned to swim. I can do it in my wolf form but not as a person. I'm terrified of deep water."
"That's why you wouldn't swim with me on the honey moon?"
She nods. "Yeah."
"The hell didn't you say so? I could teach you."
"No, thank you. If I was meant to swim, I'd be a fish."
I can't hold in the laugh. Hard headed brat....wait a minute. "Hey, so I can order you to do whatever I want, huh?"
"Yes but if you don't say it right, I can choose not to listen."
"You know, that kiss earlier in the dojo was the first one in three months. You haven't fucked me in longer than that."
"And?"
"Fuck me, Wolf."
"No....I want to try something. Please."
"Tell me."
"I still hate being touched gentle...help me fix it."
"I can do that." Oh I have the perfect way to do that. She'll be putty in my hands.
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The Wolf and the Demon