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A Shadow of What Was	By : katami Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 49594 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 22
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Author's notes: If yaoi or the idea of Ishida and Abarai bothers you, then head for the hills. Remember, I take no responsibility for damaged psyches. Also, we have angst in this chapter, but who doesn't love a tortured Ishida?

Once again, this one is for Phoenix who loves it when I give her Quincy porn. Also, many thanks to zincpiccalilli, who had to endure far too many drafts of this for me to finally get it right. And who will talk Urahara with me until three in the morning - can't ask for more than that from anyone.

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After two full days of missing the Quincy - swing shifts and crisis situations did not do good things to communication in a relationship. Renji had finally found a moment to hunt up his volatile mate. And from the reports he had been hearing it was not a moment too soon. An angry Uryuu tended to scare the younger Shinigami. Who wouldn't be scared of a pissed-off Ouincy master?

Uryuu was easy to find, all he had to do was follow the dark, angry pulse of his reiatsu. It was the deep hurt lurking under the anger that drew him though. The desperate need to soothe that aching hurt in his mate.

Renji found the archer in the underground training facility, venting his temper on the rocks. The Shinigami watched him draw, aim, and fire a devastating blast in under a second, captivated by the deadly grace of his lover. Every movement was smooth and fluid, almost sensual. He would never tell the Quincy, never admit it to anyone, but there was something deeply erotic about watching the archer shoot, something far more graceful and beautiful than any swordfight. It was impossible not to be entranced - that lithe body taut, the supple strength staining against the pull of the bow... Looking at Uryuu, it was easy to understand why goddesses of the hunt had been feared and desired in equal measure. How could any mortal resist that sort of enticement?

He silently watched the Quincy draw and fire again, saw the straining tension in his body, the barely leashed violence in his bearing, and wanted to track down Ishida Ryuuken and pound him into the ground. How dare that man upset Uryuu? How dare he do this to Renji�s mate? Indignation rose up in him, but Renji tamped it down. Uryuu did not need Renji beating up his father for him. He needed comfort.

Renji came up behind the other man, sliding his arms around Uryuu�s waist and hugging him from behind. The Quincy ignored him in favor of destroying another rock, but when Renji gently pulled their bodies flush, the brunette went willingly and melted against him, a soft sigh coming from between pink lips.

�Wanna talk about it?� he asked, breathing the question into his lover�s ear as he hooked his chin over the other man�s shoulder.

�No.� Short, terse, and totally to the point. Renji chuckled, that was his Quincy - completely unwilling to communicate. �Let me try that again,� he purred, nibbling softly on the brunette�s ear. �Will you talk about it?� he asked, sealing his lips to Uryuu�s neck and sucking hard, earning a whimpered sound of bliss from his love. The bow fell away and strong fingers tangled in his hair, urging Renji for more. He smirked and gently set his teeth to the mark, and heard the breath stutter out of his lover.

�Renji.� His name breathed out like a prayer. The sound sent a jolt of arousal straight through the redhead and made him want to forget about comfort, forget about everything but the glorious creature in his arms. His mate.

He reminded himself that this was for Uryuu, giving him what he needed, the comfort and love he so richly deserved but had never received. It was not about him getting his rocks off. �Talk to me, love,� he pressed gently, earning a soft sound of denial from the Quincy. Although whether the sound was for the talking or for him stopping his assault on the archer�s neck was hard to say.

�Come on, baby.�

Uryuu was stubbornly silent for a moment and Renji kissed his way down his neck to encourage him to start talking. �Why doesn�t he care? All I ever wanted was for him...,� Uryuu finally began in a heartrending whisper. The whisper of a child longing for a parent�s approval. The whisper of a child who knew no matter how good he was, how smart he was, he would never measure up.

�Why does he hate me?� The last was delivered almost too softly to hear and the anguish behind it was black and soul deep.

Renji shifted the Quincy in his arms so they faced each other, cupping his face in his hands and kissing the brunette softly. Blue eyes sought his and Renji hated the uncertainty and vulnerability his saw in them. He looked so young. It was easy to forget just how young Uyruu was, he was always so confident, so smart. Only he didn�t look it now; he just looked lost. Renji wrapped the archer in a tight hug, holding him close and hating the tremble in that graceful body. �I love you. Forever. Just like we promised, baby,� he told the Quincy, whispering the words into his ear and pressing a kiss to the delicate shell.

He felt Uryuu�s breath hitch and his body shudder as the archer forced back a sob. The urge to beat the hell out of Ryuuken rose sharply again. Father-in-law or not, that man had hurt his mate, and no one hurt Abarai Renji�s mate! How could anyone look at this man and find fault, find him lacking in any way? �He�s an ass, baby. You are a brilliant, beautiful man,� he told the archer, kissing him softly to punctuate each word.

�You�ve done more than he ever could. You brought the Shinigami and the Quincy together. Half the kids coming to our division join just to work with you - the great Quincy. Ishida Uryuu, who stormed Soul Society and beat Kurotshuchi when he was only half-trained, who raided Hueco Mundo, who single-handedly held the eastern front during the incursion of �09. Ishida Uryuu , who saved my life and who any member of the Gotei 13 would be proud to stand beside.

�Ishida Uryuu, my lover, my everything,� he told the brunette, kissing him long and slow and deep.

�You�re such an ass,� murmured the Quincy, his voice watery and weak, but Renji could hear the gratitude and relief under that. The knowledge that someone cared, that someone loved him and valued him.

�Yeah, but I�m yours,� chuckled the redhead, something inside him loosening as Uryuu gave him a solemn look.

�Forever,� murmured the archer, kissing him, tugging his hair loose, fingers idly carding through it and playing with it.

Renji smiled, carefully maneuvering them over to one the nearby rocks, sitting heavily and dragging the Quincy into his lap. He made a pleased murmur when the other man came without protest, straddling Renji' hips and twining his arms around the redhead's neck. "Feel better?" he asked, stroking Ishida's back and sides in long, soothing strokes.

Uryuu made a soft sound of agreement, laying his head on Renji's shoulder and burying his nose in silky red locks. "Wanna talk about what happened with Ichigo?" asked the archer quietly, knowing their friend's outburst had to be bothering Renji.

"Nah, Rukia and I had that out the other night while you were on shift."

"Do I want to see the state of our quarters, or should I just assume a hurricane went through and select some hapless underling to clean them?" murmured the Quincy, an eyebrow arching and a smirk beginning to tug at his lips.

Renji chuckled. The other man knew him entirely too well. "We cleaned up fairly well." They had gotten rid of the bottles in any case; Uryuu's latest sewing project might not be the same after having Rukia bawling on it, but that was need-to-know information. And Uryuu didn't need to know.

The Quincy chuckled softly. "I'll get someone to clean later," he murmured as Renji nipped lightly at the mark that was beginning to darken on the Quincy's neck. His mark.

He couldn't help but grin as Uryuu shivered, and tugged the zipper on the Quincy's shirt lower, exposing more of his lover's neck and that beginnings of his scar. Renji gently kissed and explored the pale column of flesh, tongue teasing the scar and earning a soft gasp from the brunette.

"You have a meeting," whispered Ishida.

"We'll be quick," he retorted, grinning as strong, nimble fingers tugged at his robes, pulling them from his shoulders and down his arms, baring his chest and trapping his arms. Uryuu rocked his hips against him, smirking faintly as his cock jumped to attention at the friction. Renji tried to reach for him, to drag him closer, but his arms were still tangled in his robes, earning a dark growl from him and a warm chuckle from the Quincy.

"Never any patience," scolded Uryuu warmly, nuzzling his jaw and moaning as Renji caught his lips in a quick kiss that easily became something slower and deeper.

The redhead was smiling dreamily by the time the kiss end and those strong fingers began to slid the zipper of the brunette's shirt even lower, tantalizing glimpses of pale chest coming into view. He made a low noise of frustration when he couldn't reach the Quincy with his hands or lips, wanting to touch, to taste, to feel all that beautiful flesh. The white shirt was tossed away with a smirk and then those glorious hands were tugging at his robes, baring more of his chest. Renji groaned as clever fingers began to explore, caressing and petting him like he was something precious.

He sobered slightly, remembering the earlier pain, and leaned forward to lay a kiss directly in the center of the star-shaped scar adorning his lover's chest. One day Uryuu would tell him about it - how he had gotten it and what it meant to him - one day the Quincy would want him to know. But until then, he could wait.

He let his tongue trace the edges of the scar, making Uryuu's breath catch. A careful nip and the tiniest brush of his reiatsu earned him a groan and brought his nipples to the attention of the Quincy's fingers. "Uryuu," he groaned, the sound almost a plea as those fingers tortured him. They played with his nipples, drawing murmured threats from the redhead that just made the Quincy smile as those wicked hands slide lower. They opened his hakama, slipping inside to cup and caress his erection.

�I love you.� they both murmured at the same time, eyes meeting and both of them smiling faintly.

Renji growled an objection when the Quincy slid from his lap before noticing that the other man was undoing his pants. White pants fell to the ground and a second later Uryuu was once more straddling his hips, wrapping his arms around Renji�s neck and kissing him. Then his arms were free and all the redhead could do was hold Uryuu close and move gently against him. Gods! He was beautiful. So fucking perfect, and he was all Renji�s.

Skilled hands were spreading lube on his cock and he wondered when his archer had become a pickpocket and decided that it didn�t matter. All that mattered was the wicked angel in his arms. �Need you,� whispered Uryuu, and Renji groaned his agreement. His hands slid to slim hips, lifting them and shifting the Quincy closer. He teased them both for a moment by rubbing against the other man�s entrance. A moment later Uryuu was sliding onto him, a thin moan coming from between those perfect lips and all Renji could do was bite his lip and growl at the tight heat slowly embracing him.

"So good," groaned the dark haired man once he was fully seated, his head tossed back and his muscles straining.

�Uryuu. Uryuu, baby, please,� he begged, rolling his hips trying to make the archer move.

Uryuu just moaned softly, slipping up just a few millimeters only to slid down slowly. Renji whined low in his throat and gripped his lover's hips tight, lifting him and pulling him back down, making them both gasp at the sensation. Strong legs shifted until they encircled his waist and they began to move against each other, panting and clinging to one another, words tumbling out. Renji reached between them, taking the Quincy�s cock in hand and stroking him.

�Love you...love you...so much,� Uryuu choked into his shoulder as their rhythm grew faster and more frantic. Uryuu was whining, a thin, high sound coming from the back of his throat with each thrust, and Renji chased that sound, wanted to hear more of it. The archer stiffened in his arms, his head tossed back as a scream was torn from him, coming smearing their bellies. Renji groaned at the tight pulsing heat, pulling Uryuu down hard onto his cock, burying his own scream in the archer�s shoulder as he followed his lover into completion.

He wasn�t sure how long they sat there, sweaty, come-smeared, and locked together; he just knew he didn�t want to let go of Quincy. Wanted nothing more than to draw the moment out and hold him forever.

"GOD FUCKING DAMMIT! Just once! Just one bloody time! WE HAVE A FUCKING MEETING, ABARAI!" snarled Hitsugaya's voice from somewhere a ways off, his tone enough to freeze all but the bravest or stupidest of men solid. Considering the demon in his lap, Renji wasn't much worried about that, but it was better not to antagonize the younger man. Hitsugaya got mean, and creative, when annoyed.

Ishida carefully climbed to his feet, glaring at his now dusty whites as Renji tried to tug his robes into place. �Coming, Taichou! Be just a second!� he called.

�Love you,� he told Uryuu, grabbing him and kissing him hard and fast. "Take care of things here.�

�Always," promised Ishida, that determined glint once more in his eyes.
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A Shadow of What Was