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Sakura Petals and Fairies	By : Zarakiswolf Category: Bleach > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 1518 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Tite Kubo owns Bleach and it's characters. I own my OCs. This story is written for entertainment purposes only. I do not get paid for writing it.

Chapter List
- 1-One
- 2-Two
- 3-Three
- 4-Four
- 5-Five
- 6-Six
- 7-Seven
- 8-Eight
- 9-Nine
- 10-Ten
- 11-Eleven
- 12-Twelve
- 13-Thirteen
- 14-Fourteen
- 15-Fifteen
- 16-Sixteen
- 17-Seventeen
- 18-Eighteen
- 19-Nineteen
- 20-Twenty
- 21-Twenty One
- 22-Twenty Two
- 23-Twenty Three
- 24-Twenty Four
- 25-Twenty Five
- 26-Twenty Six
- 27-Twenty Seven
- 28-Twenty Eight
- 29-Twenty Nine
- 30-Thirty
- 31-31
- 32-Thirty Two
- 21
- 22
- 23
I wake when a calloused hand grips mine. My eyes open and the figure is blurry but I can tell it is not my husband. "Who?"
"Damn, did I piss you off so bad the other day you gotta fake like you don't recognize me, Noodle?" Kenpachi's voice seems to be amused.
"Nii-sama?"
"Yeah, I'm here. I heard you summoned me for some reason."
"I don't remember that. But I'm glad you're here."
"I figured you'd hate me after what I said."
"No. I don't hate you."
"Your daughter is lookin' a lot better. Startin' to get a little peach fuzz on her head too."
"Kenpachi...look after her please. I want her to grow up strong. Not weak like me."
"Noodle, you ain't dyin'. And you're stronger than you lead me to believe. I don't know any woman besides Harmona that could've taken a beatin' like you did and still been breathin'."
"I feel like I'm dying, so I must be."
"Tch. You look better than you did when they brought you in here. I can tell you're drugged outta your mind though. Your eyes aren't that violet color they usually are."
I smile a bit. "You're all fuzzy too. That's why I didn't know who you were. I don't feel anything, except the warmth of your hand."
"Is she lucid?" I hear Captain Kotetsu's voice from a bit further away.
"Yeah. High as a kite though." Kenpachi chuckles.
"That's probably a good thing. Nanami, Byakuya went home to bathe and update the family. If you don't mind, I need to pull the sheet down and take a look at your back."
I feel Kenpachi's hand loosen and I tighten my grip. "Stay, Nii-sama. Please. I don't want to be alone." I beg him softly.
"You sure you're comfortable with that?" he asks.
"Please stay."
"Kenpachi...just stay. This is the most lucid she's been and it's obvious she's going to get upset if you leave. She's on her stomach so you won't see anything anyway." Captain Kotetsu says gently.
His hand grips mine again. "Alright. I'll stay. Only cause you look pitiful, Noodle."
My grip tightens as I flinch at Captain Kotetsu's hands. "Nanami, it's alright. I'm not going to hurt you intentionally." she says comfortingly. The sheet is pulled down slowly and a damp cloth is used to help peel it from where my back has oozed and caused it to stick. Finally it is free and she places it in the linen bin. "It's looking much better, Nanami. I think I can safely say you've moved from critical to fair status. You still have a fever but the sepsis is slowly coming under control now."
"Sakurako?" I ask.
"Oh, she's doing much better. We've been milking you for her while you've slept. Your milk is coming back too, which is very good. She may be able to go home in a couple days."
I notice Kenpachi staring at my back intently. "How bad does it look, Nii-sama?"
"It's bad but Orihime can heal you up nice and pretty when she gets back in a couple days."
I squeeze his hand as Captain Kotetsu begins cleaning the wounds with antiseptic. It hurts, though not as bad as when Papa did it.
"She's gettin' awful pale, Isane." Kenpachi says suddenly.
"I'm sure this hurts. Nanami, sweetheart, I'm sorry this is hurting you."
I open my mouth to answer but suddenly everything goes dark and silent.
****Byakuya POV****
I finish eating my dinner quickly before leaving for the infirmary again. I use shunpo to get there faster. Upon arriving, I go to my daughter first. She is wide awake and grins as she sees me. I lift her gently. "You are looking much better." I tell her. I notice the IV tube has been removed from her head which gives me much relief.
"She will likely be able to go home in the next couple of days, Captain Kuchiki. I think, if you want, Captain Kotetsu should be finishing up with your wife, if you'd like to take her to visit. I'm sure Lady Kuchiki would appreciate that." the nurse says from her desk.
I make no reply as I do just that. To my dismay, however, Zaraki is in the room. Isane is finishing cleaning the lower part of Nanami's back. His presence irks me. However, I stay silent, choosing instead to look at the mess of Nanami's back. It is still red and inflamed, but the terrible red lines have gone finally. There is still drainage, it seems, as there is a bit of a foul odor in the air. "Has she woken?" I ask.
"Oh, Captain Kuchiki! She was awake for a bit but she passed out a few minutes ago while I was cleaning her again." Isane says. "Please don't be angry. I asked Kenpachi to stay because she seemed to be upset and not wanting to be left alone. I think she's been traumatized by this. She flinches extremely bad whenever someone touches her back."
"I am not angry. If his presence comforts her, then it is not my business to get angry."
"Any idea why she wanted to see me?" Zaraki asks.
"I do but if she didn't speak of it then perhaps it was a drug induced delusion that caused her to seek you. She was upset at your last encounter with her and I believe she wanted to try to make amends."
"I see. She won't let go of my hand or I'd get out of your hair."
"She will stay like that until I'm finished, most likely. That's what leads me to believe she's been traumatized. Trauma victims tend to have involuntary reactions to things or situations that remind them of the trauma. For her, she flinches and her body stiffens up every time someone touches her back. I am positive it's not pain because when I pinched her toe earlier she didn't budge." Isane sighs.
"I see. And the fainting?"
"From the smell of things, it's fear. She's fuckin' terrified of somethin'. I didn't smell it til Isane took the sheet off of her." Zaraki says.
"I see. What is your suggestion to help her overcome this fear?" I ask Isane.
"Gentleness and compassion is the best thing. I wouldn't be surprised if she suffers nightmares for some time. Byakuya, you may not be able to touch her for quite some time so brace yourself for that."
"I had suspected as much. Her zanpakuto spirit manifested itself earlier and told me what it could. I will not force her to do anything that could trigger fear."
My daughter chooses this moment to let out a happy squeal. Zaraki chuckles and gets to his feet, leaving the room swiftly. I take the seat he has vacated. Nanami's eye slowly opens, though I can see the drugs have her quite out of sorts. "Nii-sama?"
"He left. Did you need him?" I ask, slightly hurt.
"No. My vision is rather blurry so I couldn't make out who you were. I'm sorry."
"I forgive you." I say, leaning forward so that she can hopefully see our child. A smile lights her face for a moment until a clean sheet is placed on her. She flinches, growing pale again. "You're alright. Calm down. Isane just cleaned your wounds and put a sheet back over you."
She blinks, a tear falling from her eye. "I wish you hadn't seen. I must be hideous now. I'm so sorry."
"You are far from hideous, Nanami. It will be alright."
Her hand reaches forward and, with my help, she gently strokes Sakurako's head. "Kenpachi didn't lie. She's getting some hair finally. Can you tell what color it is?"
"Not yet but I'm sure it will be beautiful, no matter the color."
"Nanami, I'm going to speak to your husband in the hall for a moment, ok? He'll be right back in." Isane tells her gently.
"Ok...I'm sleepy." she replies before yawning.
"You may sleep. It will help you heal." I tell her before kissing her forehead. Isane leads me from the room and leaves the door cracked.
"Byakuya, I think, given the circumstances, I'd like to transfer her to your home. I believe she will recover better in familiar surroundings and I trust your family physician to be able to handle the IV's she needs until Orihime comes back."
"I would be happier if you did, quite frankly. Seeing her in such a state and knowing she is miserable is bothersome to me. At least at home she will have constant company and more one on one care. No offence to you, of course."
"None taken. I understand. I'll arrange a transport for her after dark so there's less people to stop and stare."
"That would be appreciated."
****Nanami POV****
The next time I wake, I am in a familiar room. A familiar bed cradles my body, though my IV's are still attached. I am alone in the room, it seems. I move a little and, finding that it doesn't hurt too badly, I sit up and stretch a little. I am in no shape for anything more strenuous, I don't believe. However, I need to use the bathroom. Just as I prepare to get to my feet, the door opens and Byakuya enters.
"What is it, Nanami?" he asks, seeming a bit worried.
"I need to..." I blush and point at the bathroom door.
"Are you feeling up to walking or would you prefer to be-"
"I can walk, but I think I could use help standing. Please. I'm still a bit foggy but I need to stretch."
He circles the bed and grips my hands gently. "When you are ready."
I take a deep breath and plant my feet on the floor. I nod and, using my muscles along with his gentle pulling, I'm on my feet in an instant. My legs feel numb though, so I quickly grab the IV pole for balance. "Will you walk behind me, please? I can't feel my legs very well still."
"Of course. You didn't need to ask. I had already planned to do so. You seem very lucid at the moment. Are you in pain?"
"No. It's itchy."
"I'm afraid I cannot help with that, though I will mention it to Doc. I'm sure she can come up with something to help." I nod and slowly make my way to the bathroom. Once inside, without prompting, he lowers my pajama pants, which I don't remember owning, before helping me sit. "I will wait by the door. Just tell me when you're done."
I blush. "Yes, sir."
It doesn't take long for me to empty my overfull bladder and I sigh in relief. I'm sure with the amount of liquid I've lost at least three pounds. The thought makes me smile. I wipe before calling for him. He helps me stand and flushes for me before helping me to the sink. "Are you hungry? You've only had intravenous nutrients for the past few days." he asks as I wash my hands.
"Yes. I am happy to report that I feel as though I'm starving."
"That is excellent to hear, oddly enough."
I dry my hands before brushing my teeth. My mouth feels so slimy, as if I've been drooling. I suppose that is a possibility, as strange as the medicine is making me feel. When I'm finished, I turn back toward the bedroom. "I would like to lower the dose on the pain reliever. I don't like feeling as if I'm floating and I'm sure you don't enjoy my nonsense if I happen to be speaking and not fully awake."
"I am not sure that is a good idea but if Doc thinks it's alright then I am willing to let her try. However, you must tell me if the pain is too much."
I manage to sit in bed. "I don't want to lay anymore."
"I do not see a problem with you sitting for a bit. In fact I am glad to see your strength returning. Will you be alright here for a few moments? I will go see about getting you some food."
"I should be fine."
As he retreats, I frown. He seems distant. Perhaps it is as I feared and he finds me ugly now. I hope I am mistaken but I do not believe I am. A flashback of my father yelling at me about how his treatment is disgusting, how he must beat the disgustingness out of me causes me to flinch and curl my legs to my chest. The very thought of intimacy with Byakuya makes me nauseous now. I suppose I am afraid that I will be beaten again.
Byakuya returns with Sakurako in his arms. He sits beside me and helps shift her into my arms. "She is due for a feeding, if you feel up to it." he says softly.
I shift her carefully and silently pray for her to be able to feed. When she latches I breathe a sigh of relief. "I was so worried the fever had dried me up."
"No. I don't think you remember it but Captain Kotetsu was able to collect your milk with a machine for such things. It helped the flow come back pretty quickly once the fever was brought under control."
"I...Byakuya, I need to tell you something." I bite my lip a bit.
"What is it?"
"I am afraid of being intimate again. That is why I was beaten. Papa said your intimacy was what a common whore would do. I'm so scared the thought of being intimate makes me feel sick. I don't want to be beaten again." I whimper.
"Nanami, I will not force you. I can wait as long as you need. You will not recover overnight and I know that you are not in the correct state of mind after this incident. I wish I had listened to Rukia sooner and come to find you. I am sorry."
I had been afraid that he would be angry at yet another show of my weakness. I am glad he is not.
****Byakuya POV****
I am woken by her terrified screams. I instinctively pull her to my chest and she flinches, breathing as if she's just run a race. It pains me to see that my touch causes her distress but I feel it must be done. "You are alright, Nanami. You are safe." I comfort her gently.
She takes a few deep yet ragged breaths before crying. "I'm so sorry."
"Are you hurting?"
"No. Just bad dreams, I'm afraid."
"I see. Remember when you are having these nightmares that you are safe, Nanami. Our daughter is safe as well. There is nothing to fear."
She nods weakly before rubbing a hand across her forehead. "I'm sorry I woke you."
"It is my job as your husband to ensure you are comfortable and safe. Think nothing of it."
To my surprise she kisses my cheek softly. "Why are you so sweet to someone like me?"
"I do not understand your meaning."
"I am weak and helpless, a burden on you. Surely even you can see that. Yet you are sweet and kind more often than not."
"I love you, no matter if you are weak or strong. You are my wife. I think the medicine is making your thoughts fuzzy again." This time, she kisses my lips. I refrain from doing as I wish to do and kissing her with passion. I pull away instead. "You must rest, Nanami."
"What will happen if I never get over this fear?"
"We will deal with it when you are healed. I do not love you just for sex, you know."
"Yes, but every man has urges that need satisfied, my love. It is not fair for you for me to stay if I am afraid to allow you to touch me."
"I am more worried about your healing than I am about touching you. We will deal with your fear when you are healed. And believe it or not, I may ask Zaraki to help me. Harmona was the same. She hated being touched. Then one day something changed and she trusted him enough to allow his touches."
"I never knew that." her voice is getting quieter. I lay us back down, being careful not to touch her back nor tangle the IV. Her head rests on my chest and it seems she is asleep already. Her words bother me. Whatever her father has told her is weighing on her mind heavily and I am aware that it will require much work to regain her confidence.
****Nanami POV****
Orihime comes calmly into the room and, without asking, her yellow dome surrounds me. "I'm sorry I wasn't back sooner. Why didn't anyone send word to me, Captain Kuchiki?"
"It seemed like bad manners to disturb your time with your son."
"I'll have her healed in a few moments. Next time, please don't hesitate. Captain Kyoraku has given Kazui and I soul tickets so we may come and go as we like from here."
I groan softly as I feel the skin pulling itself together. "Thank you, Hime."
"Oh, it's alright, Nanami. That's what friends are for."
When her dome falls, Doc swiftly comes to my side to remove the IV lines. "There now. How are you feeling?"
"Itchy."
"I suppose that's normal. You've only had sponge baths recently it's likely you need a good bath and if that doesn't help I have a cream I can put on you to help as well."
I blush. "Thank you."
"I'll see you later, Nanami. Let's go for lunch sometime, ok?" Orihime says, waving happily as she leaves. Doc follows her out, leaving me alone with Byakuya.
"I will give you your privacy." he says softly before turning to go.
"No. Stay. Please."
"Nanami, you are not ready to be touched. I can see that as plain as day upon your face."
"I don't want to be alone. Please stay."
He seems to relent a bit, though I can see he is conflicted. "Very well."
I head for the bathroom and quickly undress before slipping into the water and sitting. I notice Byakuya simply stands. "Will you join me, please? I could use a little help. My back is very itchy still."
"I believe you are trying to push your limits, Nanami." he says haughtily.
"Please? I'm not trying to but the itch is terrible."
He grumbles a bit before joining me finally. However, as his hands touch my back, I flinch. "You see? You are not ready for this."
"Don't give up on me yet, ok? Please." I beg him softly. He makes no further comment as he washes my back. I believe I am flinching from expecting pain but I find I'm slowly relaxing as the expected pain never comes. I let out a relieved sigh and, before I lose my will, I turn, throwing myself into his arms. I rest my ear on his chest, enjoing the warmth of his skin. "Thank you."
"If you do not stop throwing yourself at me, I will not be able to refrain from touching you." he says, though he sounds hopeful.
"I believe we set up a safe word a long time ago, did we not? That I would use when you're making me uncomfortable and you would stop upon hearing it?"
"Yes, I believe you did."
"Papa only said that the toys and the tying me up was bad. I don't think I will be triggered by you touching."
"But your back-"
"I flinched because it hurt so badly. My brain said touching my back would hurt so it made me afraid of it."
"Touching will lead to sex, Nanami." he points out.
"We'll see if I'm bothered. I am willing to try anything to stop the terrible thoughts in my head."
His hand cups my cheek and tilts my head. "I am not a balm to be used to rid you of nightmares."
"I didn't mean it that way. I simply meant I must get over what happened somehow and I don't know how else."
"Your trust was broken, Nanami. It is not something you get over by using others."
"But I'm not using you." I frown but back away from him, my cheeks heating with shame. "Perhaps you're right. I am sorry." Inwardly, my thoughts are turning dark indeed. He does not love me anymore. Papa was right, I am only a harlot taught to be like this by him. I am merely a plaything for Byakuya to pleasure himself with. He only married me to get what's between my legs. The thoughts keep racing through my mind and it takes all of my composure to keep myself from crying. I finish washing myself as quickly as possible, brushing the tangles from my hair as best I can with my fingers. Suddenly he grabs my hands and forces them to my sides.
"Look at me." he commands. I glance up but do not look at him long before my eyes drop back. "I will not ask you again. Look at me."
"No. I cannot." I reply before thinking.
"Why?"
"I can't. Papa was right. I should be ashamed of myself." I say before breaking away from him and exiting the bath. I dry myself quickly before leaving the room. I throw my robe on in a hurry, not bothering to tie it straight before leaving the bedroom. I find my way back to my old room and lock myself inside.
****Byakuya POV****
I sigh and decide to give my wife a few minutes to calm herself. Perhaps I had handled that wrong. When I think I've given her enough time, I dry myself and secure my robe. She is not in our bed, where she should be. I check the bassinet and find Sakurako sleeping soundly, a tiny purple teddy bear nestled between her arms. I make my way out of the room and follow the smell of strawberries to Nanami's old room. The door is locked. This is not a good sign.
"Nanami?" There is no answer. I do not like it. I use a bit of kido and break the lock. Inside I find her curled into a ball on the bed. I go to her and pull her into my arms. She sobs against my shoulder. "I did not mean to hurt you. I am simply worried that you will push yourself too fast and break mentally as you did before."
"You must tell me the truth, Byakuya." she says after a few moments of silence. Her sobs have quieted.
"The truth of what?"
"Papa told me you just married me for sex. That if you truly loved me you would not tie me up or use toys. He said that you've turned me into nothing more than a whore with a noble title."
My eyes widen. "That is a lie!" I hiss. "Nanami, if I did not love you, I never would have married you. I never would have let you stay in my home." I pinch her chin and drag her face up, forcing her to look me in the eye. "You are no whore, Nanami. And the way we are intimate is not wrong. You are my wife. I married you for love, not what's between your legs. Your father chooses to be blind to new experiences and has harmed you for his stupidity."
****Nanami POV****
"But-"
"Do not argue with me, Nanami. I am becoming cross, knowing what lies that man has fed you. Have I ever hurt you during intimate moments together?"
"No."
"Have I not made sure that you are satisfied?"
"Yes."
"Then why do you still fear me so?"
"I don't know!"
He lifts me into his arms and leaves the room, heading back to our bedroom. Sakurako still sleeps. I'm laid on my back and he pins me there. "You will not be escaping me tonight. You will tell me why you fear me. I want to know everything that man told you."
I swallow and nod slightly. I do not want to tell him anything.
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Sakura Petals and Fairies