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Underneath It All	By : Raceysama Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male > Grimmjow/Ichigo Views: 4160 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, any of the songs mentioned are not my own, nor do I make any profit from these works......

Chapter List
- 21
- 22
- 23
CHAPTER 22: NO AIR
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach...
Onwards...
XOXOXOXO
Karakura Town
April 2009
Shuuhei sat waiting patiently on the black, leather sofa of his living room. Renji sat across from him on the matching love seat, nervously fidgeting, while clasping and unclasping his hands, a light sheen of sweat covering his brow.
Wow.
What the hell could be so bad that it had the red-haired man acting so peculiar?
"Shuuhei, I told you before that there was something making me hesitate in, uh, taking that next step with you. I-I never gave you a reason and I realized that that hurt our relationship. Maybe even hurt you. I...I, uh, I wanna tell you now," Renji hesitantly spoke.
Shuuhei furrowed his brows slightly and nodded. He would listen to anything the beautiful red head had to say. He didn't care what it was. Renji had been on his mind constantly and he knew that there was just something about the taller man that wouldn't let Shuuhei leave him alone, even after he'd felt hurt by the man's distance. He scooted forward in his seat, preparing himself to pay close attention to every word.
"This is...this is really hard for me to talk about," Renji stated, blowing out a shaky breath and running a hand through his long, bright-red hair.
"It's ok, Renji, you don't-"
"Yes, I do!" Renji snapped, focusing those shining, russett-colored eyes on him.
Shuuhei's eyes widened and his lips pressed together tightly. He'd been caught off guard by the red head's vehemency, but knew enough to keep his mouth shut. He didn't want Renji to change his mind about talking to him because he'd waited a long time for this discussion to take place. Now that it was, he would be patient and wait for the right time to speak.
Renji suddenly leaped to his feet and began pacing the small living room, wringing his large hands frantically. Shuuhei wanted desperately to stand and try to comfort the frazzled red head, but decided against it. He knew Renji wouldn't even let him near him at the moment.
"Shuu, I was raped!"
Silence filled the room like smoke. All Shuuhei could do was gape at the tall red head, who was standing behind the love seat, clutching its cushions, with eyes the size of soup bowls and mouth hanging open. He didn't think Renji had really meant to blurt that statement in that manner, but, fuck, it was out now.
"Wha?" Shuuhei asked, unable to grasp the concept of such a big guy being raped, unless the circumstances were different.
"I-I, I...I was raped...when I was eight years old. My step-father...he...he...and my mom..." Renji's deep voice trailed off, his handsome face drawn in agony.
Shuuhei glared at the floor, twisting the silver thumb ring resting on his left thumb. His lips were pressed into a thin line and his heart was beating rapidly. He was trying to keep himself from having a stroke, but knew his blood pressure was probably rising to dangerous levels.
He didn't quite understand everything that Renji had been trying to say, but one thing stood out clearly: the red head had been raped when he was merely eight years old. Hell, he wasnt even old enough to shoot potent semen at that age!
Before Shuuhei could form a response, Renji was speaking again, his tone much softer, "My mother killed him. Sh-she came home and saw what he was doing to me and-and she killed him. Then, she lost her mind. She, she's, uh, been in a mental institution ever since. She doesn't even remember who I am," he ended with a sigh and flopped back onto the love seat.
He looked exhausted. Sad, too.
"So, that's why you've had a hard time being intimate with me?" Shuuhei asked bluntly, making Renji grimace.
"Th-that's not all."
Shuuhei nodded wisely, folded his arms across his chest and leaned back against the couch cushions, "You're talkin' about the thing with Ichigo, right?"
Renji's head jerked upwards, those awesome, cinnamon-colored eyes glinting with surprise, "H-how? How did you-"
"Grimmjow kinda told me about it. I don't think he knew it would be such a big deal to you, though, or else he wouldn't have told me. Besides, it looks like you've put all that behind you," Shuuhei answered, uncrossing his arms and leaning forward again, "Am I right?"
"Y-yeah, but, I mean, wh-what...how do you feel about that?"
Renji's expression was one of extreme worry, but all Shuuhei could think was how adorable the red head was. A soft, bottom lip was being worried and gnawed at, while those large hands just couldn't keep still. Knees bounced up and down, but Renji never once lowered his gaze.
Shuuhei stood and made his way over to the red-haired man's side, easing down next to him on the love seat. He studied Renji's frightened face for a minute, then slowly put an arm around the man's broad shoulders and tenderly kissed his temple before smiling gently.
"I should be insulted that you'd think I wouldn't want you anymore, just because of what you've done in the past, but...I understand. Next time, I won't be so understanding, though. You can and should tell me anything, Renji, ya know, 'cuz I would never hurt you," Shuuhei said quietly, his dark eyes focused on Renji's russett ones.
Renji stared at Shuuhei for a moment, tattooed eyebrows furrowed slightly before a wide grin began to bloom across those full lips, "There won't be a next time, Shuu. I'll be sure to tell you everything, from now on," he whispered, leaning towards Shuuhei to emphasize his point.
"You promise?" he asked, wanting to be sure that Renji would never hide things from him again.
Renji nodded, "I promise."
Shuuhei gripped a fistful of the taller man's t-shirt, pulling him into a heated lip-lock, full of tongue and saliva. Just when things were getting good, his red head's phone went off, blaring Kanye West's "Family Business".
"Fuck," Renji grumbled as he extracted the noisy device from his back pocket, "Hello?"
Shuuhei leaned back against the plush cushions of the love seat, inwardly cursing his luck. That call had better be fucking important.
"WHAT?" Renji shouted, surging to his feet and simultaneously scaring the crap out of Shuuhei.
What the hell, man?
"I'M ON MY WAY!" Renji continued before snapping his phone shut and shoving it back into the recesses of his back pocket. Shuuhei eyed him skeptically. What the fuck was going on?
He cleared his throat tentatively and stood as well, hoping that maybe Renji would take the hint and tell him what in the world was going on. Unfortunately, the red head was so distracted, he started towards the front door without saying a word.
"Oi!" Shuuhei barked. Renji stumbled and glanced back at him, eyes shining with joy and urgency. "Where the fuck are you goin'?"
Renji's bright, cheshire cat smile erased his annoyance like the rubber end of a pencil, "Ichigo is awake!" he answered excitedly.
Shuuhei's eyes widened and he ran towards the door, fumbling his way into a pair of black, athletic slippers, "Holy shit! Does Grimmjow know?"
"I don't know. I'm assuming he does, though. Isshin said everyone else is already there, or on their way."
Once Shuuhei had his slippers on securely, they poured from his apartment and hurried to the elevators. Renji jabbed the call button repeatedly, while Shuuhei watched in amusement. He was really glad that the reason the red head had been keeping a distance between them, had nothing to do with him personally. He was angry for Renji, but in order to make up for the taller man's past hurts and humiliations, he would be the best boyfriend the red head would ever have.
He would make sure of it.
XOXOXOXO
Karakura General Hospital
April 2009
Tatsuki glanced down at the orange-haired male resting on the raised hospital bed. Ichigo had only recently awakened from a four month coma and she was incredibly relieved to see him doing well. He didn't have much brain damage, aside from his speech, and he would have to have extensive physical therapy, but that was nothing compared to what could have happened.
Tatsuki reached down and gently squeezed Ichigo's shoulder, making his nut-brown eyes focus intently on her. She knew the orange head was a lot more acute than people gave him credit for, but this time, there was no way Ichigo could or would guess what she was up to.
"I'm glad you're good, Ichigo," she said softly, "I gotta go right now, but I'll be back tomorrow, ok?"
Ichigo narrowed his eyes, but nodded all the same. He lifted a hand and placed it over the one she had on his shoulder. It was his way of silently communicating with her. Tatsuki smiled and nodded, her way of reassuring him.
Ishida, Inoue, Chad, Renji and his boyfriend, Shinji and the rest of Grimmjow and Ichigo's friends were gathered in the waiting room, taking turns visiting with the newly awakened orange head. Tatsuki wondered when Grimmjow would make it. After months of what seemed like a severe depression, she knew this news would revitalize the huge, blue-haired man.
She made her way out of Ichigo's room, side-stepping a near frantic Renji. As she passed by the waiting room, she noticed the petite, inky-haired man that dated Grimmjow's really tall friend, seated by the large windows, staring morosely out of them. Although his expression was bland, Tatsuki was able to recognize the worry he was trying to hide.
Shinji sat beside his boyfriend, Stark, his head in the brunet's lap. Stark's fingers threaded through the short, blond hair soothingly, making Tatsuki smile. Those two were perfect for each other.
Grimmjow's dad, Alric, sat beside Isshin, Yuzu and Karin, smiling widely, the grin reminding her of his equally blue-haired son. It seemed that everyone had already taken turns seeing Ichigo, leaving Grimmjow, who, strangely, wasn't there yet. Neither was the petite man's boyfriend.
Tatsuki briefly wondered where they were before her cell phone began ringing. Pulling it from her light-red, jacket pocket, she answered, "Yo."
"Ya ready?"
"Mhmm, I'll meet ya behind Las Noches," she responded, picking up her pace and heading for the elevators.
"Cool."
Tatsuki rode the elevator to the lobby and briskly strode through the glass, double doors marking the exit. The air was warm and comfortable, a slight breeze stirring the leaves on the trees. She inhaled deeply and exhaled with a sigh.
She had a job to do.
XOXOXOXO
Karakura Town
April 2009
Shirosaki couldn't believe he'd ended up in this predicament and all because of that stupid, blonde bitch, Halibel.
XOXOXOXO
Karakura Town
March 2009
"I don't give a shit, Hal! I shot the kid! How was I s'posed ta know the fucker would survive a shot ta the chest?" Shiro snapped, his patience worn thin.
Halibel slammed an elegant hand down onto Shiro's wooden, kitchen table, making the unsteady legs wobble, "You know what, Shiro? I tried to be nice about things, but you're obviously trying to take advantage of me, which -truth be told - I just won't allow," she crooned.
The fine hairs on the back of Shiro's neck, stood to attention, alerting him that something was totally amiss. Just as he leaped to his feet, Halibel revealed a chrome .45, aiming it at his head.
"I wouldn't be too hasty, Shiro-kun."
Shiro growled and sneered disdainfully at the blonde bitch. He should've known something was up when she'd insisted on coming inside his home to "just talk". He lowered himself back into his seat, glaring at Halibel the entire time.
"Where's my money, Shiro-kun?" she asked, her tone sarcastic, but clear, green eyes hard and angry.
"I ain't tellin' ya. Ya gotta kill me!" Shiro snapped.
Halibel sighed and rubbed her thumb and forefinger over the bridge of her nose, "I'm only going to ask you once more. Where the FUCK is my money?"
"Ya always did have a dirty mouth. I c'n put it ta better use, ya know," he leered, even though he knew that she was terrible at sucking dick.
"Fuck you!" she bit through clenched teeth. "I'll just find it myself!"
Before Shirosaki could even react, he was pinned to the high-backed, wooden kitchen chair by a huge man with immensely slanted eyes. He whipped his head around at the sound of duct tape being ripped apart.
"What the fuck?" he shouted. "Where the hell didju come from?"
"Oh, don't concern yourself with Choe. Just worry about getting me my money," Halibel nearly sang, the gun in her hands waving ominously.
"Fuck you!" he growled, fear beginning to creep up on him as he was taped to his own kitchen chair.
"Oh? Now, it's fuck me? That's funny."
"I ain't givin' back that money, ya bitch!"
"No, don't worry! I had a feeling you wouldn't be in a very cooperative mood, so I asked my dad to lend me one of his men to straighten you out," Halibel stated, walking a slow circle around him, "Now...where is my money, Shiro?"
"No clue wha' yer talkin' bout," he answered casually.
"Choe, you think you can persuade our friend here to change his tune?" Halibel asked, glancing behind him at the squinty-eyed giant.
"Yes, Tia-sama," the giant responded, voice a deep monotone as he proceeded to grasp Shiro's left hand.
Panic gripped him, but it was too late to do anything other than scream when the huge man broke his middle and ring fingers. "FUUUUCKKK!"
"Now. My money, Shiro-kun," Halibel again crooned.
Shiro's breathing was erratic, sweat had formed across his brow and upper lip and his heart was racing at a mile a minute. "Ya...b-bitch," he panted.
"Choe," she sang.
Shiro's eyes widened as his right hand was grasped and ring and middle fingers broken. He grit his teeth and growled loudly, squeezing his eyes shut. The pain was almost unbearable.
"We can do this all night, until there aren't anymore of your pathetic bones to break. So, feel like talking yet?" Halibel asked nicely, crouching down to eye level.
Shiro spat in her face, his pride decimated, "Top shelf a'mah closet, ya fuckin' cum-whore," he snapped with an expert sneer.
Halibel stood, wiping the saliva from her left eye, "Choe, just don't kill him," she stated as she headed for his small bedroom.
Shiro didn't even flinch when the giant slammed his huge fist into his face.
XOXOXOXO
Karakura Town
April 2009
Now, he was again taped to a chair, but at least this time it wasn't his own.
After he'd told the big, blue-haired guy about Halibel being the one to hire him to shoot the orange-haired kid, he'd gotten the ass-whooping of his life. What that Choe guy had done to him, had been shit compared to the beating the blue-haired man had given him. Shiro had been on the receiving end of a gun before his encounter with the blue-haired dude, but he'd never seen his life flash before his eyes in those instances. He'd never felt pure, murderous intent, until he'd had that Desert Eagle shoved down his throat.
Once the blue-haired guy had disappeared, sparing his life, he'd dragged himself away in the direction of his home, but hadn't even made it three blocks before he was apprehended and slammed roughly into the trunk of a gray, luxury sedan.
The ride had been surprisingly smooth. Shiro thought his abductors would be sadistic and travel the bumpiest road they could find, just to make him suffer. He was grateful for the courtesy, he supposed.
All too soon, the ride was over and he was extracted from the trunk. His immediate surroundings were pitch-black and damp, smelling like fresh paint. He'd heard a door sliding shut before he was pulled from the trunk, which might have explained the darkness, but he wondered where the fresh paint smell was coming from.
Suddenly, his arms were yanked behind his back and held painfully in place. The angle made it hard for him to breathe, let alone try to escape. He was pushed forward until he felt plastic crinkling under-foot, making his heart skip several beats. That didn't bode well at all.
A bright, yellow light abruptly flooded the room and Shiro realized he was being held captive in a garage. The car he'd ridden in was parked off to the left and the cement floor was covered in a large, blue plastic tarp. There was a single chair in the middle of the plastic, where he was immediately shoved, then taped down.
Fuck.
His captor stepped around to face him and, even though Shiro knew he was at a disadvantage, it still didn't keep him from arching a brow and smirking at the man before him. The guy was tall, elegantly slender and wore a strange-looking outfit, consisting of a black, turtle-neck sweater, black, skinny jeans tucked into black, calf-length, combat boots sporting several buckles, and over everything, he wore a long, black trench coat.
The man had bright, honey-colored eyes that gleamed from behind a pair of silver, rectangular-framed glasses. His pastel-pink hair hung down onto his brow, giving him an air of mystery, while the smirk he wore raised goosebumps across Shiro's skin.
"Dude, ain't ya hot?" Shiro inquired. It was spring after all.
The man glared down at him condescendingly, scoffing shortly, "Filth."
Shiro opened his mouth to reply, when he noticed the man pulling something from his coat pocket. He breathed a sigh of relief after noticing it was only a cell phone. The man snapped the device open, scrolled through a list and pressed a button before lifting the phone to his ear.
"What the hell is taking you so long? You know I don't do the dirty work and he stinks. Badly," he stated, sniffing disgustedly.
Shiro grinned to himself, wondering what he'd done this time and if this was the end of his ropes. Suddenly, the garage door slid open and shut, a tall man slowly making his way towards the pink-haired one.
"Mah, mah, yer such a chick, Szayel," a light, creepy voice traveled throughout the garage as the newcomer gradually neared, the sound of a cell phone snapping shut, echoing eerily.
Szayel huffed in annoyance and pointed a long finger in Shiro's direction as he too, snapped his phone shut, "Take care of that, please, Gin. He's revolting."
The man stepped out of the shadows and his appearance made Shiro shudder. He was tall and thin, wearing a form-fitting, white, long-sleeved t-shirt, under a black, short-sleeved t-shirt, black jeans and black and white Converse sneakers. His short, silver hair shone brightly under the sickly, yellow light illuminating the small space and the toothless grin he displayed, had the potential to scare small children.
He brushed a strand of hair out of his face, his slanted eyes appearing closed, "C'mon, Szay, I hadda meet that Tatsuki chick. So, this the guy Nnoitra tol' us 'bout?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.
Chills crept down Shirosaki's spine at the swift nod from the pink-haired man, Szayel. The silver-haired man named Gin, stepped forward, withdrawing a nine millimeter and scratching his forehead with the barrel of the gun, "Ya picked the wrong job, mah friend," he calmly issued.
Shirosaki had a bad feeling that tonight would be his last night on Earth.
Fuck.
He couldn't even get laid one last time.
XOXOXOXO
Karakura General Hospital
April 2009
Grimmjow sprinted through the hospital hallways, completely ignoring the nurses' calls of "slow down" and "please, stop running, sir".
Fuck that.
His Ichi was awake.
His Ichi was AWAKE.
He bypassed the elevators, instead opting for the stairs and taking them three at a time. He reached the fourth floor and flung the door open, continuing his run towards Ichigo's room at the end of the hall. He flew past the waiting room, barely glancing inside, but absently noticing everyone's presence.
He must've been the last to arrive.
He wondered if Ichigo would remember him. Would he have brain damage?
Before he could dwell too long on those questions, he skidded to a stop before Ichigo's room door. He took a few deep, calming breaths and pushed the door open. He'd half-expected someone to be inside the room, but fortunately, no one else was there.
Still, Ichigo wasn't awake.
The top of his bed was raised and he was propped up against several pillows for comfort, but his eyes were closed, his breathing even and deep. The breathing tube was gone, though, so that had to be a good sign.
Grimmjow eased into the room and trudged over to his boyfriend's bed, disappointment swallowing him whole. He'd so been looking forward to seeing Ichigo's beautiful brown eyes for the first time in over four months. He sighed heavily, lowered the bed rail to the twin-sized bed and sat beside the orange head.
Damn.
Why did he have to miss Ichigo's awakening? If he hadn't been interrupted by Isshin, he still would've been there and he would've been the one his boyfriend woke up to.
Shit.
Grimmjow lowered his head and grasped Ichigo's right hand. He would give both his nuts, just to hear the berry head's voice again.
"Y-you look like sh-shit."
Grimmjow froze, his heart stopping, only to restart and hammer relentlessly. He slowly lifted his head, his chest incredibly tight as he locked gazes with those syrupy-brown eyes he had yearned to see. Ichigo wore his trademark smirk, but his eyes...fuck, those eyes...they projected a million unspoken emotions. Grimmjow felt like the room suddenly had no air left for him to breathe correctly. His lungs burned and his chest ached.
"Ichi," Grimmjow's voice came forth as a breathy, disbelieving whisper. "Ichi."
He leaned forward, drinking in the being before him, knowing as well as he knew his name, that hell would have to turn over twice before he'd let something happen to Ichigo again.
His boyfriend held his arms open and Grimmjow pressed into them, curling up next to Ichigo on the tiny bed. He wrapped his right arm around the smaller man's waist and buried his face into his lover's neck. Ichigo lifted a hand and ran his fingers through Grimmjow's hair, making his chest heave and his entire body shudder.
He'd MISSED him.
Before he knew it, tears were tracking down his cheeks, under his chin and dampening Ichigo's neck. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing the moisture to subside, willing himself to stop being such a fucking woman, but...the overwhelming feeling of sheer joy and happiness overrode everything else, turning him into little more than an emotional wreck as he held tight to the person that meant the world to him.
"I c-could hear y-you," Ichigo said softly, the slight stutter completely endearing.
Grimmjow wiped his eyes and lifted his head to peer into those maple-brown depths, "You could?" Ichigo nodded, the hand that had been in Grimmjow's hair, settling on his shoulder. "What did I say?"
Ichigo shook his head slightly, "N-not words. Just y-your voice."
"Oh," Grimmjow mumbled, somewhat relieved. He wanted to tell Ichigo himself how he felt about him. "Ichi, there's somethin' I've been needin' to tell ya for a while. I was just too scared to say it before, but now...I just...I don't want..." his voice trailed off as he was unconsciously hypnotized by his boyfriend's molten brown gaze.
A raspy chuckle brought him out of his daze, "Y-you're still a w-weirdo," Ichigo stated, bringing a hand up to trace the side of Grimmjow's face.
He leaned into the touch and grinned genuinely for the first time in over four months, "You wouldn't have it any other way, though."
"Tr-true. Y-you were s-saying?"
Grimmjow could tell the talking was taking its toll on his boyfriend, so he decided to just put it all out there. He held eye contact with his boyfriend and took a deep, cleansing breath, closing his eyes briefly, only to re-open them and return his focus to those sultry brown eyes that had drawn him to the berry head from the very beginning.
"Ichi...I...I..." The time had come and he STILL had a hard time just saying those three simple words. He meant them, so why were they so hard to say? He suddenly noticed that Ichigo was smirking devilishly at him and scowled sullenly. "What's so funny?" he muttered.
Ichigo shook his head, but snaked a hand around Grimmjow's neck, tugging him forward into a gentle kiss. Grimmjow's heart was trying its damnedest to beat right out of his ribs as he pressed his lips against his boyfriend's, relearning their texture before he slipped his tongue inside Ichigo's mouth to relearn his taste.
Fucking...
Hell...
Grimmjow grasped the back of Ichigo's neck and kissed him aggressively, stealing what little breath the orange head did have left. Ichigo still had that addictive taste and smell and it absolutely smothered Grimmjow. He wanted to rub his face in it, live in it and never be rid of it.
Ichigo whimpered softly and Grimmjow growled. God, if he could, he would fuck his Ichi right in this damned hospital bed. Instead, he pulled back and stared down into Ichigo's eyes, "Ichi, I love you," he murmured, inwardly marveling at how easily the words had slid from his tongue.
Ichigo grinned widely, kissed the corner of his mouth and nodded, "I-I kn-know. I-I love y-you, too, Grimm."
Grimmjow smiled and lay back beside his boyfriend, tucking his face into the crook of Ichigo's neck again. All was right with the world once more.
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Underneath It All