Adult-FanFiction.org : Bleach

Underneath It All	By : Raceysama Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male > Grimmjow/Ichigo Views: 4160 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, any of the songs mentioned are not my own, nor do I make any profit from these works......

Chapter List
- 20
- 21
- 22
CHAPTER 21: TRUST IN ME
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach...
Onwards...
XOXOXOXO
Karakura Town
April 2009
Renji ached all over. When Shuuhei had requested they give each other space, he hadn't expected to be pushed away. It was torturous. Excruciating. Unbearable. All those words that described misery and more. Everytime he called Shuuhei, he'd been kept at a distance, like the DJ was keeping him at arm's length.
It killed a piece of him each time it happened.
Renji wanted to do something about their situation and knew the only logical solution was to tell Shuuhei everything, regardless of what the outcome would be. If Shuuhei walked away from him after that, then there was nothing he could do about it.
Renji had given up on trying to speak with the raven-haired male over the phone. Conversation was always stilted, awkward and uncomfortable. So, that left him with one last option: going to the man's house to confront him. They hadn't seen each other in over a month and Renji missed him. He missed him a lot more than he had expected to.
Shuuhei had become extremely important to him and Renji was at the point where he would do anything to have the man smile at him again.
He was scared to death, but it had to be done.
Unohana-san had chewed his ass out in her unique way, telling him that it was his own fault that Shuuhei was misunderstanding things between them. And she had been right. All he had to do was tell the DJ about his past and whatever happened after that would be left to fate. Renji would just have to let the chips fall.
God, he was so scared, it made him nauseous.
It was a Monday evening. Renji knew that Shuuhei had the night off, so he'd decided to go confront the man he cared about at his home. He sat fidgeting restlessly on the bus, his knees bouncing and his heart racing. He'd decided to dress comfortably in a plain, white t-shirt, light-blue jeans and all-white Nike Air Force Ones and his hair was loose, falling over his shoulders in bright, crimson waves.
He glanced around the bus, noting the empty spaces. It was around eight o'clock and the passengers were few. There were probably eight others, aside from himself, riding the noisy vehicle. All too soon, the bus began approaching his stop, so he pressed the button, and rose from his seat, grabbing the overhead bar to steady himself until the bus rolled to a stop. He moved to the back door and slowly stepped into the balmy, night air.
Renji took a deep breath and started the three block journey to Shuuhei's apartment complex. His hands were shaking and beginning to perspire, but he knew this was what needed to be done. He couldn't say for sure that he loved the DJ, but he was sure that he cared about him. He knew Shuuhei had become important to him and he wasn't ready to let the man go without a fight.
The streets were pretty deserted, his footsteps seeming to echo loudly against the pavement. The street lights were on though, so he wasn't afraid of being mugged or jumped. Besides, he wasn't a weakling. He could damned sure take care of himself if the need arose. All the same, he quickened his steps. He was anxious to get to his destination and he wouldn't look kindly on any interruptions to his progress.
The wind picked up, blowing a few stray tendrils of his hair into his face. He brushed them aside and shoved his hands into his pockets. A crescent moon shone brightly in the sky, stars dotting the midnight-blue blanket around it. Renji loved the nighttime. It was beautiful and so serene, not to mention displayed a quality that the daytime lacked. He couldn't put his finger on exactly what it was, but he knew it was there.
Finally, Shuuhei's apartment loomed before him and the butterflies in his gut, that had managed to settle down during the short walk, took flight once again. He saw the DJ's hunter-green, Toyota Celica parked in the lot and breathed a brief sigh of relief. At least that meant he was home.
Renji entered the lobby through a pair of glass, double doors and made his way to the elevators. A woman at the front desk watched him warily, making him wonder if she had been accosted before. He certainly hadn't done anything to warrant a look like that. He pressed the button to call for the elevator and was glad when the doors immediately slid open. He stepped inside, pressed the button for the fourth floor and leaned back against the wall of the metal car.
His heart was beating so hard, it actually hurt. He could feel the thumps in his throat and he felt like he was losing his breath. He wasn't claustrophobic, but this was definitely beginning to feel like an episode.
The elevator came to a stop and the doors slid open. The walls of the hallway were a pale blue, trimmed with white and each apartment door was a light-gray. The carpeted floor was a flat, dark-gray, but nothing quite prepared Renji for the sight his eyes took in upon stepping from the elevator. Down the hall, Shuuhei was locked in a tight embrace with a tall, dark-haired male, who looked, strangely, like Ichigo.
That didn't matter.
Shuuhei obviously didn't want him anymore.
Renji felt like his heart had been ripped from his chest as he stood staring in agonized disbelief. How could Shuuhei just forget about him that way? No...why had he forgotten about him? Renji grit his teeth and fisted his hands at his sides. Shuuhei didn't even care enough to tell him that he was seeing someone else. He'd strung him along like some sort of plaything and Renji - like a fool - had allowed him to do so. The DJ was so caught up in his new lover that he didn't even notice him standing there.
Feeling like a moron, not to mention a complete loser, Renji whirled around and stabbed the elevator button viciously. He'd decided that he didn't want Shuuhei to even know he was there. When the elevator doors didn't open right away, he snarled and glared up at the numbers above the portal.
Fuck, it had moved already. Now, he had to wait, while Shuuhei-
Shit.
Renji felt the ominous sting of tears prickling behind his eyes and began pushing the button for the elevator repeatedly, even though he knew doing so wouldn't make the thing come any faster.
This was his fault. He hated admitting it, but it was true. If he'd just stopped being a coward and told the DJ about his past, the man wouldn't have gone seeking affection from another person. Renji felt like everything he'd been working for over the past few months was crumbling around him. He could feel himself drawing in upon himself, ready to shut out the outside world.
"Renji?"
Renji stiffened and halted his frenzied efforts in trying to make the elevator appear faster. His jaw tightened considerably as his heart thrashed against his ribs and he unconsciously held his breath. He didn't want to turn around and face the man speaking to him. He couldn't. It would just make everything he'd seen real and he didn't want that. He wanted to perhaps live in denial for a while. He wanted to hope that Shuuhei hadn't just dropped him like a bad habit.
His elbow was gently grasped and he had to blink back the tears threatening to fall as he turned to face Shuuhei. Coal-colored eyes were focused on him and dark brows were creased with concern.
What a joke.
XOXOXOXO
Karakura Town
April 2009
Shuuhei hadn't expected the sudden visit from his older brother, Kaien. The last he'd heard, the man had been in France, studying the culture. When Kaien had left Japan five years ago as an excited twenty year old man-child, Shuuhei hadn't expected to see him again. Sure, his brother sent him postcards and letters, but as far as an in-the-flesh appearance went, Shuuhei hadn't had one. Even though Kaien was two years his senior and they had different mothers, he still looked up to the guy. He was smart, out-going and loyal to a fault. Shuuhei wished he could be like him.
They were as close as brothers with different maternal parentage could be and so much more. Shuuhei had been the result of an affair and left to fend for himself by his father. His mother had hated him, claiming he was a mistake and the reason his father didn't want anything to with her anymore. She'd ended up killing herself when he was only seven years old, and as her only child, he'd grown up without the love and support he'd literally craved during his childhood.
Shuuhei had been bounced from foster home to foster home, finally ending up in a home for troubled youth at the age of fourteen. He had been bitter, angry and jealous of other kids that had the lives he so desperately wanted. That was, until the Fall of the very same year he'd been placed in that unbearable home.
XOXOXOXO
Karakura Town
Sawamura Home For Troubled Youth
October 2000
Shuuhei had a reputation for being the most troublesome teenager in this awful place, but he didn't mind it in the least. He appreciated the fact that he was feared and in some cases respected. It made him feel alive. Gave him a reason to want to be alive.
He'd been terrorizing the other boys in the home, when he'd been called into the director's office. Thinking he was only going to be reprimanded for his behavior, he'd sauntered into the office, but froze at the sight of a boy maybe two or three years older than himself, sitting patiently in one of the red, plastic chairs lining the wall.
The boy had kind, friendly, dark eyes and a wide smile that were both directed at Shuuhei. It had made him nervous, but also intrigued him. The director, a short, strict woman named, Soi Fon, had immediately launched into a brief introduction.
"Shuuhei, this young man would like to speak with you," she stated sternly.
Shuuhei rolled his eyes and glanced over at the dark-haired male, "Why?"
"My name's Kaien Shiba," at the name, Shuuhei stiffened and his eyes widened, "I guess you've heard that name before."
He pursed his lips and glared at the Kaien boy. How dare he? Oh, Shuuhei had heard the surname, Shiba, many times from his mother whenever she went into her rages. When she wasn't hitting him, she was blaming him for the loss of her one true love, Manabu Shiba, Shuuhei's father.
So, who the hell was this Kaien person? And what the hell did he want with him?
"Yeah," Shuuhei answered stiffly. "Who are you?"
"I'm your brother," Kaien responded cheerfully, his dark eyes crinkling in the corners.
Shuuhei felt like all the air had left his lungs. H-he had a brother? He supposed it was possible since he'd never heard from or seen his father before, but it was still shocking all the same.
"W-why are you here?"
Kaien stood from his seat and approached him, easily towering over him, "I know you don't know me or anything, but...I thought maybe I could change that. I found out about you from my mom and I wanted to meet you."
"Why would you do that? And how does your mom know about me?" Shuuhei inquired with a puzzled expression.
Soi Fon stood from her perch behind her huge desk and gave them a "shoo" gesture, "You may go speak as long as you stay on the grounds."
Kaien nodded and thanked her before disappearing behind the office door, Shuuhei following only because his curiosity was getting the best of him. He trailed behind the taller teen until they reached the home's outside picnic area. There were a few benches and tables strewn about and in the distance was a basketball court.
Shuuhei plopped onto a table and withdrew his secret pack of smokes, shaking one free and lighting up before he turned to face Kaien, "So?"
Kaien sighed and pushed a hand through his dark, spiky hair, "My mom isn't supposed to know about you, but she does. Around three weeks ago, she found a picture of you and your mom in my dad's - er, our dad's - study. It was pretty old because you didn't look any older than three or four and it had your name, age and the current year written on the back.
"I guess you could call it women's intuition, but she automatically knew you were his. She confronted him, but he blew up at her for going through his things. It was really messy. They're getting a divorce now and everything, but...I...actually, I'm not even supposed to know about you. I overheard an argument between them and decided to find you myself," the older teen explained.
Shuuhei frowned, still incredibly confused. All he wanted to know was...why?
"I don't get it. Why did you wanna find me? Shouldn't you be pissed that I ruined your family?" he asked, cigarette long forgotten.
"Nah, they were headed for a divorce anyway. Mom can't stand Dad because all he does is gamble and sleep around. We've, uh, we've got a little sister and brother. Kukaku and Ganju. They might not understand what's going on right now because they're taking the divorce pretty hard, but...I don't think any of this is your fault. I couldn't sit on the sidelines knowing I had another younger sibling out there somewhere, you know?" Kaien continued. "I'm only sixteen, so that would make you fourteen, right?"
Shuuhei nodded, unable to speak. He had siblings. A real family. This was too much. He flicked away the cigarette and continued listening.
"Well, my uncle, Jyuushiro, knows what's going on and he's helped me get my own place. He owns the building actually and promised to let me stay there on my own as long as I go to school and work part-time. I think that's fair, don't you?" Kaien asked with a wide grin. Again, all Shuuhei could do was nod. "So, um, look, here's my number. I'm not trying to pressure you into contacting me or anything, but if you ever wanna talk or something, just call me, ok?"
Kaien had whipped out a pen and a small, frayed business card and was busy writing his number on the back of it. Once he had, he handed the card to Shuuhei, still wearing that huge, warm grin, then turned and started ambling away.
Shuuhei grasped the card in his hand tightly and watched his older brother walk away, still reeling slightly from the news.
XOXOXOXO
Karakura Town
April 2009
About a week after meeting Kaien, he'd run away from the home and, using his brother's phone number, had found his apartment. He'd shown up at the teen's door expecting to be sent back to the home, but, surprisingly, Kaien had welcomed him and even offered to let him stay there.
So, he had.
His brother had taken care of him, helped him with school and even introduced him to their younger siblings. That hadn't gone over well. They had instantly hated him, claiming it was all his fault their parents had split up. It had taken a lot of convincing and reassuring on Kaien's part, but eventually, Shuuhei realized that he was a victim in the situation, as well.
He loved his brother. At the time, he had been the only person to show him any real affection and concern and even when Shuuhei told him that he was gay, Kaien hadn't turned on him. That's why when the man decided to leave and see the world, he'd supported it one hundred percent on the outside, although inside, he wanted to die.
So, seeing his brother again after five, long years, he had been ecstatic. They had talked and caught up on one another's lives and just like Kaien, he'd noticed something was off with his younger brother. Having no choice, he'd explained to him about Renji and how he felt the red head didn't really want him.
Kaien had kindly smacked him on the back of his head and told him to sit down and talk to Renji. Give the man time to get whatever was plaguing him off his chest. When he'd explained that he'd done that already, Kaien only told him to do it again.
"You need to establish trust and running away when he needs you, doesn't do that," Kaien had wisely stated, making Shuuhei feel about the size of a pin-prick.
So, he'd decided to go find the red head and do just that. Kaien had given him his new address and Shuuhei had walked him to the door, hugging him tightly before the man headed home.
Imagine his surprise to see Renji standing near the elevators, looking downright panicked and upset. Then, he realized how the scene between him and Kaien must've appeared to Renji and he inwardly cringed. He had to catch him before the elevator arrived and the man left thinking he was seeing someone else.
Shuuhei jogged down the hallway, "Renji?" The red head refused to look at him and he could see the tension in the beautiful body before him. Renji always managed to look gorgeous, even when he was being casual. Shuuhei captured his elbow and when Renji turned sad, glossy, russett-colored eyes to him, he knew had to fix things.
Quick.
Before he could get a word in edge-wise, Kaien appeared beside him, wearing that infernally large grin of his. His brother held out a hand in Renji's direction, "You must be Renji! I've just heard a lot about you!" he declared cheerfully.
Renji didn't say a word. He didn't even reach for Kaien's hand. All he did was glare.
"Uh, Renji, this is my older brother, Kaien," Shuuhei pointed out tentatively.
Renji whipped around to stare in open-mouthed shock at him before his face morphed into a deep crimson, "Well, shit..." he grunted and Shuuhei couldn't help the small smirk that appeared.
"Ah, Shuu-chan, you didn't tell your boyfriend about me?" Kaien asked, his voice playful and eyes gleaming devilishly.
"Kaien, I'll call you later!" Shuuhei growled and pushed his older brother onto the just opening elevator.
"Bye! It was nice meeting you, Renji!"
The elevator doors slid shut, loud laughter still reverberating noisily. Shuuhei rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, trying to make the blush he knew was there, disappear. Renji grinned down at him and arched a brow, "Shuu-chan?"
"Shutup. What are you doing here?" he asked, hoping to change the subject. Kaien was so embarrassing sometimes.
Renji's expression grew serious rather quickly as he lowered his gaze to the floor, "I need to talk to you," he answered quietly.
Shuuhei nodded and led the red head to his apartment, waiting for them to enter before he closed the door softly behind themselves.
XOXOXOXO
Karakura Town
April 2009
Rukia sat on the couch in the large sitting room of her childhood home, staring blankly at her brother in shock. She couldn't believe her ears. H-how had things spiraled so out of control?
"Wh-who did it?" she whispered, clasping her suddenly clammy hands together.
Byakuya sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, "No one knows."
Kenpachi sat in a large, leather recliner to her left, his huge feet kicked up. Rukia noticed he was watching her intently and anger flared up inside her when she realized what he was probably thinking.
"You think I did it, don't you?" she snapped.
He shrugged nonchalantly, "No, but ya certainly could afford ta have someone else do it for ya," he rumbled.
Rukia surged to her feet, rage consuming her tiny frame, "Y-you know I wouldn't do that! Not after everything that's happened! I didn't wish him harm after you and nii-san came and found me at the hotel! I couldn't have had Ichigo shot!"
"Rukia, calm yourself," Byakuya interjected softly, "every option needs to be investigated. You had a motive and were very near to doing the deed yourself. Kenpachi only wants to be sure you didn't have anything to do with it."
"I DIDN'T!" she shrieked, close to hysteria.
"Fine. Someone else did," Kenpachi stated.
Rukia collapsed onto the couch and covered her face with her hands. If anyone else found out about what she had been up to, they would surely accuse her of the same thing. This was horrible. Of course, she had hated Ichigo and wanted to kill the man before, but once her brother had talked some sense into her, she had abandoned the idea altogether.
Now, it didn't matter because the deed had been accomplished by someone else. Who the fuck could have wanted Ichigo dead besides herself?
She needed to do something and she had a good idea of what that was.
XOXOXOXO
Karakura General Hospital
April 2009
Huge, white, fluffy clouds rolled past in a bright blue sky, distinctly reminding him of the man he loved. Ichigo stood silently on what appeared to be a sideways-erected building, staring off into the distance.
He couldn't remember everything that had happened, but he did remember an extremely hot, stinging sensation in his chest as his breath was sucked away and he choked on his own blood. He also remembered Grimmjow's tear-stained, worried face being the last thing he saw before being pitched into darkness and then this place.
The place was beautiful, but he missed his boyfriend. He missed his family and he missed his friends. Was he...dead? Was this the afterlife? What a lonely existence.
Then again, it couldn't really be the afterlife because he could still hear the voices of those he cared about, from time to time. Particularly Grimmjow. Those were the times his loneliness became stifling. He could hear the distress lacing his blue-haired lover's deep voice and it made his heart ache. At those times, he wanted to reach out and draw the voice closer, reassuring him that everything was fine.
Wasn't it?
Ichigo no longer knew. He could never quite hear what was being said, he only recognized the voices. What was wrong with him that he couldn't see anyone, couldn't touch anyone, fuck, couldn't even speak to anyone?
He lowered himself to the edge of the tall building he was standing on and let his legs dangle over the side. He wanted to go home. He wanted to see Yuzu, Karin and even his old man. He wanted to see his friends, Tatsuki, Shinji, Chad, Ishida, Inoue...Renji, but most of all, he wanted to see Grimmjow.
He craved his boyfriend's smiles, laughter, touches, his deep, rumbling voice...he missed the man so much. Ichigo felt tears stinging his eyes and sighed noiselessly. This was no way to live. If he was even alive at all.
Suddenly, soft footsteps could be heard approaching him from behind. He turned his head slightly, then shot to his feet as recognition blew him away. Eyes wide, he took in the appearance of a woman he hadn't seen in so many years. Long, reddish-orange hair hung down her back, swaying lightly in the breeze and warm, brown eyes smiled at him as much as her lips did. She wore a long, off-white, linen gown that brushed the tops of her bare feet.
"M-Mom?" he breathed incredulously.
"Ichigo," she said gently, holding her arms out for him.
Ichigo practically flew into them, hugging her tightly and inhaling the nostalgic scent of warm apples and cinnamon. She still smelled and looked the same, only now, he was a little taller than her.
"H-how? How is this happening? Am I really dead?" he croaked.
She chuckled softly and ran a hand through his hair, making him lean into the touch, "No, you're not dead, honey. My, you've gotten so tall! You're a handsome, young man, now!"
Ichigo blushed and pulled back to look into the face of his mother. Her milk chocolate eyes were crinkled with amusement and a wide grin spread her lips. She arched a brow at his expression and placed her hands on her hips.
"What's that look about? I can tell my son he's handsome, can't I?"
"Yes, ma'am," Ichigo muttered. He'd reverted into a child again.
Masaki's face softened as she reached up to stroke his left cheek, "I'm sure you have a lot of questions, but now isn't the time to ask them," she said softly. Ichigo nodded and she took his hand and led him back to the edge of the building. She tugged gently, indicating she wanted him to follow her lead and they both seated themselves, legs dangling over the side of the large structure. "Sweetie, right now, you're in a coma. It's why you can only hear voices, rather than see anyone."
Ichigo blew out a breath of relief. At least he wasn't fucking dead. "Am I going to die? Is that why you're here?"
She laughed heartily, the sound reminding him painfully of Yuzu, "No, silly, I'm here to see you off. It's not your time to pass on yet, Ichigo, so my job is to give you that little nudge to get you home where you belong."
"Really? How are you gonna do that?"
His mother leaned over and nudged his shoulder with her own, "Like this." Right before he was pitched into darkness, Ichigo heard his mom's voice one more time, "I love you, Ichigo."
He felt like he'd been drugged as he dragged his eyes open. He immediately began coughing, his eyes watering as they tried to adjust to the bright, fluorescent lighting of the room. Images were blurry, but he managed to make out a flurry of movement near what he assumed was the door. Suddenly, a man with a white lab coat was hovering over him.
"Don't try to talk, Kurosaki-san, we have to remove the endotracheal tube. You'll feel some slight discomfort," the man stated before Ichigo abruptly felt the urge to hurl. He coughed again, but this time it was to clear the sensation of having something invading his throat. "Do you remember your name?" the mysterious man continued.
Ichigo scowled and slowly licked his lips, "I-Ich-Ich-i-go," his voice cracked and wavered.
"Good. Can you wiggle your toes for me?" the man, who Ichigo now assumed to be a doctor, asked as he pulled back the white sheet that had been covering him.
Ichigo ordered his brain to move his toes, but nothing happened. After a few seconds, he tried again. Still nothing. A few more seconds and finally the big toes of each foot moved slightly. Ichigo grunted happily. At least he wasn't permanently fucked.
"Good, now your hands."
Shit.
Ichigo repeated the process, this time sending the command to move to his hands. After a few tries, he'd managed to lift both hands, but they immediately fell back to his sides from sheer weakness.
But they had moved and that was all that mattered.
Sleep pulled him under and the last thing he recalled before falling to its spell was the doctor smiling as he bustled around.
XxxxxxxxX
A soft murmuring brought him out of his restful slumber and when he opened his eyes, he knew they widened in disbelief.
"R-Ru-ki-a," he croaked. His voice still wasn't accustomed to being used.
Large, violet eyes rounded in surprise, "Ichigo!" she yelped.
"Wh-wh-wha-"
"No, wait, don't say anything! I know talking is probably tough for you right now, so I'll just tell you what I need to tell you. You can respond when you're feeling better." Ichigo nodded shortly. What the hell. "I know we weren't on the best of terms, even when we were still friendly towards one another and I just wanted you to know that that was my fault. I was jealous of you. I was jealous of what you had with Renji and I let that jealousy make me do things I really shouldn't have done. I guess, I mean, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I really am," she ended in a whisper.
Ichigo studied her remorseful expression and recognized the honesty in her eyes. Well, hell, this certainly was unexpected. He'd never expected Rukia to be the one to come to him and apologize. She was stubborn and prideful and he would've sworn that she would never have lowered herself to do such a thing. Especially since she had obviously hated him. Then again, he and Renji were on good terms again, so anything was possible.
"O-o-ok," he responded.
Rukia eyed him warily, "You really mean it? You'll forgive me after everything I've done to you?" Ichigo only nodded, already too tired to try speaking again. Rukia smiled and grasped his right hand, "Thank you so much, Ichigo!"
Again, he nodded, then rested his head against the soft white pillows of the hospital bed. Life was extremely strange and full of curve balls. His old friends turned enemies were once again his friends and he hadn't seen any of it coming. Right then, an overwhelming feeling of longing damn near suffocated him.
He wanted to see Grimmjow.
XOXOXOXO
Karakura Town
April 2009
Grimmjow sat in the darkened bedroom of Ichigo's apartment, elbows resting on his knees and hands covering his face as he cried in earnest. Broken, desperate sobs wrenched from his large frame as he wallowed in grief he'd never felt before.
A few hours ago, he'd been at the hospital visiting Ichigo, when Isshin had arrived, face pale and mouth pursed. Grimmjow had wondered what had the older man looking so worn out and upset because he'd thought Isshin had become used to seeing Ichigo lying there comatose.
He had been utterly unprepared for the words that left the elder Kurosaki's mouth.
XOXOXOXO
Karakura General Hospital
April 2009
A Few Hours Ago
"We've decided to let my son rest in peace," Isshin calmly stated.
Grimmjow frowned in confusion before saying the first thing that came to mind, "I'm not bothering him."
He was seated in his usual spot beside Ichigo's bed in the large, faux leather chair, holding his boyfriend's hand. He did this everyday, so why was today any different?
Isshin grimaced and shifted slightly, "No, we're taking Ichigo off of the respirator. If he was going to wake up, he would've do-"
"NO!" Grimmjow shouted, uncaring of his whereabouts, "I won't let you kill Ichi!"
He shot to his feet, heart hammering and chest constricting painfully as his hands fisted at his sides. How could Isshin even consider doing something so fucking horrible? Ichigo wasn't dead! He wasn't!
"Grimmj-"
"NO!" he literally screamed. "Wh-why would you say some shit like that? You can't KILL him! He's not fuckin' dead!"
"Ichigo wouldn't want to live his life as a vegetable and that's what his future holds! Being comatose this long does NOT bode well, Grimmjow! What would you have me do?" Isshin argued back, expression pain-filled.
Grimmjow felt like his legs would give out at any moment. God, they were going to kill his Ichi and there was nothing he could do about it. Tears stung his eyes as his chest felt like it was filling with water.
"PLEASE!" he blurted, making his way to Isshin and grasping the man's hands, "Please don't! I-I, please, Isshin, you can't just kill him," he pleaded desperately.
Isshin's dark eyes filled with remorse as he carefully extracted his hands, "He's already gone," he whispered, voice breaking.
Grimmjow didn't know what to do with himself. Rage, grief and pure misery overwhelmed him. He couldn't sit there and watch them pull the plug on the only person he'd ever loved. He wouldn't.
Heart in agony and mind in turmoil, he stepped briskly past Isshin and slammed out of the room.
XOXOXOXO
Karakura Town
April 2009
Afterwards, he'd found himself at Ichigo's apartment, trying to memorize everything about the orange-haired man that had changed his life. Grimmjow had stood in the empty living room, blue eyes scanning the comfy, white furniture, the huge, flat-screen tv he'd bought for Ichigo as a late birthday gift, but his perusal had stopped when he'd spotted the large, framed picture resting on the wooden coffee table.
He'd moved mechanically towards it, collapsing onto the couch as he reached an unsteady hand out to grasp it. It was a picture they had taken on Halloween. They had decided to dress up as characters from Ichigo's favorite manga and anime, One Piece. Grimmjow had immediately claimed the role of Zoro because...well, he was Zoro. Badass swordsman of the Grand Line and Ichigo had instantly taken up the role of the retarded, but extremely loyal captain, Luffy.
Grimmjow remembered admiring the bright, red vest, cut-off, blue jeans, sandals and straw hat his orange-haired boyfriend wore like they were made for him. It was only an added bonus that Ichigo was bare-chested under that red vest.
Grimmjow's outfit was simple. Ugly, dark green pants stuffed into clunky, black boots, a form-fitting, white t-shirt with three buttons at the neck, and a bright-green haramaki wrapped around his slim waist. Three, fake swords rested on his right hip and a black bandana was tied around his left arm.
In the picture, they were posing on Isshin's stoop, Ichigo clutching his straw hat and smirking devilishly in a mirror image of Luffy and Grimmjow standing with his arms folded across his chest, scowling slightly like Zoro.
That had been fun.
It had been then that he'd choked up, setting the picture down and making his way for the bedroom, where he'd sat heavily on the side of the bed.
He'd been there ever since.
He couldn't believe Isshin was going to just kill Ichigo. Yeah, it had been four months since his boyfriend had been declared comatose, but that didn't mean he was dead. There was still a chance he would wake up.
"Ichigo wouldn't want to live his life as a vegetable and that's what his future holds!"
Grimmjow cringed at the memory of Isshin's words. He didn't want to believe that, but it was possible. He also knew for a fact that Ichigo wouldn't want to exist that way. It was a lose-lose situation.
"Fuck," he croaked, his throat raw from screaming and crying. "Fuck."
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you
Grimmjow chuckled derisively as he reached into his back pocket for his ringing phone. Nnoitra had impeccable timing.
"Yo," he grumbled once he answered the device.
"Christ, ya sound like shit," his best friend's voice barked ruthlessly. "Ya still at the hospital?"
"No."
"...Then where the fuck are ya?" Nnoitra snapped impatiently.
Grimmjow sighed exasperatedly and ran a hand through his disheveled, blue hair, "Ichi's place."
Nnoitra sighed in return before finally speaking, "Grimm, why d'ya do that ta yerself?"
"I don't know," he mumbled. He fought the anguish rising in him as he blurted, "They're gonna take Ichi off the respirator."
There was a long moment of absolute silence, but Grimmjow knew Nnoitra hadn't hung up. A few more moments passed before his best friend spoke softly, "I'll be there inna minute."
The call was disconnected and Grimmjow was left to wait.
XxxxxxxxX
Grimmjow had wanted to get shit-faced, but realized that that would do nothing to alleviate the gnawing ache in his chest. If anything, it would only make it worse. He had allowed Nnoitra to take him out to a seedy little bar on the other side of town, since he'd flat-out refused to grace Las Noches with his presence. He didn't like the neighborhood Nnoitra had described though, so before leaving Ichigo's place, he'd tucked Pantera into the waistband of his jeans.
They were currently seated at the bar on a pair of unsteady bar stools, Nnoitra sipping a beer and Grimmjow nursing a shot of vodka. Ichigo called it rubbing alcohol.
Fuck.
He couldn't stop thinking about him.
He didn't think he ever would either.
"Ulquiorra's worried 'bout ya," Nnoitra stated casually, making Grimmjow snort.
"In other words, he's givin' ya the silent treatment 'til ya talk me outta my funk, right?"
"The 'lil shit is so fuckin' persistent."
Grimmjow chuckled and knocked back his shot, wincing afterwards at the burn. Vodka was strong enough to peel paint from the walls.
"Life fuckin' sucks so bad," he muttered sourly. It was Nnoitra's turn to snort as he sipped his beer.
"Ya think? S'only gonna make ya stronger in the long run, though."
"Yeah, yeah."
A loud commotion a few seats down caught Grimmjow's attention and he glanced over, absently noting the boisterous man with ash-white hair and strange-looking eyes, wearing a black t-shirt and dark-blue jeans. The bartender, a tall, wavy-haired brunet that reminded him of Stark, was laughing with the albino as he set a glass filled with an amber-colored liquid before him.
Grimmjow didn't pay the man anymore attention until several minutes later, the guy was suddenly seated beside him, peering at him intently, those strange eyes squinted in concentration. The smell of alcohol wafted from his very pores, nearly stifling in its intensity. Grimmjow could feel Nnoitra tensing up beside him, so he shook his head and turned back to the odd man.
"Can I help you?" Grimmjow asked.
The man cocked his head to the side and smirked, "I know you."
Grimmjow arched a brow, thinking the guy was probably drunk and mistaking him for someone else. "Oh, yeah?" he responded dryly as he lifted his second shot to his lips.
"Uh-huh. Yer the boyfriend of that kid I was paid ta shoot."
Grimmjow's eyes widened and the small shot glass he held shattered. He was hearing things. He had to be. There was just no fucking way this man had just said what he thought he did.
"Come again?" he growled.
The man arched a snowy-white brow and leaned closer, the alcohol fumes almost overwhelming, "Didn' hear me the firs' time, princess?"
Grimmjow lurched off the bar stool and wrapped a large hand around the albino's throat, "I'll fucking kill you," he seethed. This man had the audacity to approach him like that and think he wouldn't get his ass chewed for it?
Grimmjow dragged the thrashing man outside the bar, where he proceeded to beat him like he stole something. His fist flew, slamming into the prick's face repeatedly, the man's nose breaking on the first hit with a satisfying crunch. Blood seeped from the wounded appendage, but Grimmjow was unfazed.
The albino grunted in pain with each brutal connection until he could no longer remain on his feet, but even as he hit the ground, Grimmjow drove his foot into his side, hoping that he'd broken something. The man lay in a pitiful heap, coughing and spitting up blood. A pale hand was swiped across an already bruising face, smearing the crimson fluid. A disdainful sneer appeared on the beaten man's lips, "Ya think ya did somethin', huh? I ain't shit, so beatin' me up don't mean nothin'!" he snapped. "Ya really need ta worry 'bout the bitch that paid me ta do what I did!"
Grimmjow grit his teeth. All he could see was red and all he could feel was white-hot rage pulsing through his veins. He reached behind his back and withdrew Pantera. He really meant it when he said he would kill the man. This asshole was the reason he would never see the love of his life again. The reason he was in so much fucking pain.
He crouched over the guy, grasping him by the collar and stuffed the barrel of his weapon into the bleeding mouth of Ichigo's assailant. The man's teeth scraped the cool, metal, making a soft clicking sound. Grimmjow pulled the hammer back, cocking the gun as he ground through clenched teeth, "Who paid you?"
The albino smirked around the large weapon, his golden irises seeming to glow. Grimmjow was fast growing impatient with the man and if he didn't get an answer soon, he would blow the guy's head smooth off.
"Who...fucking...paid...you?" he asked again.
This time, he removed the gun, but held fast to the man's collar. The prick wiped his mouth and sneered again, "Tia Halibel ringin' any bells in that thick skull a'yers?"
Grimmjow rocked back on his heels at the new information. Halibel? She had ordered Ichigo's death? Was she that fucking desperate? That fucking insane? He wouldn't let either one of these bastards get away with what they'd done. No way in hell.
Grimmjow replaced the gun in the albino's mouth and his finger brushed the trigger, itching to just pull it and put the asshole before him six feet under. Just before he could do anything drastic though, Nnoitra crouched beside him, gripping his arm.
"Grimm, ya might wanna do this now, but later on, yer gonna feel like shit because in the end, it wouldn't bring Berry Boy back," he persuaded. The noisy wail of sirens echoed throughout the nearly deserted streets, making Nnoitra tug on his arm. "C'mon, Grimm, don't do it."
Grimmjow bit his bottom lip. Fuck, he wanted to kill this idiot and get it over with, but Ichigo would kick his ass if he knew what he was up to. Growling, he snatched the gun away, reapplied the safety and tucked the weapon back beneath his shirt and jeans, "Ya got lucky today."
He and Nnoitra walked briskly to the parking lot located around the corner from the run-down establishment and hopped into the taller, raven-haired male's Nissan Armada. The engine roared to life and they sped away, Grimmjow feeling severely angry and helpless.
The intro to Guns and Roses's "Welcome to the Jungle" blared from his back pocket and he was sorely tempted to ignore his Pop, but in the end, decided to pick up.
"Yeah," he grunted sullenly.
"Grimmjow! Ya gotta come to the hospital! Ichigo's awake!"
His heart stalled in his chest as he gasped. "Wh-what?" he stuttered in absolute disbelief.
"Ya heard me right, gaki! Get movin'!" his Pop shouted, then ended the connection.
"Go to the hospital," he ordered as he stuffed his phone into his back pocket.
Nnoitra glared at him from the corner of his visible, violet eye, "What's up?"
Grimmjow grinned widely and gripped his knees, barely holding in his delight, "Ichi's awake."
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Underneath It All