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Things Never Spoken	By : Areitus Category: Bleach > Het - Male/Female Views: 5868 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor do I profit from this creation.

Chapter List
- 20
- 21
- 22
Chapter 21

It was still dark and Rukia hadn�t slept a wink all night. She eased the closet door open and saw Ichigo snoring softly. The clock beside his bead read 3:36 am. She slid her legs out from the sheets to dangle over the side of her makeshift bed. Her head was swimming. �Ichigo, wake up.�
His response was a groggy grunt followed by him rolling over.
�Ichigo!� she yelled and threw her pillow.
He jumped and sat up, talking through a yawn, �Wha? What is it? Hollows?�
�Can I talk to you?� she said seemingly a little shy as she diverted her eyes.
Ichigo rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he spoke, �What�s wrong?�
Rukia slid from the closet and slunk over to sit beside him in his bed. �You know, I was with Renji all day,� she began.
�Yeah. You were kinda quiet when you got back so I figured I wouldn�t press it. You two get in another fight?�
�No,� she replied, keeping her eyes downward, �I actually� really had a good time�� She twiddled her toes together as she mulled over her next words, �He�s going to Soul Society tomorrow. He wants to turn himself in.�
Ichigo�s mouth fell open, �But he�ll be thrown in prison again, or worse!�
�He wants to take responsibility. There was nothing I could do to change his mind� � Her jaw shivered slightly before she spoke, �After that�I� I tried to kiss him.�
The boy stiffened at this, but didn�t react otherwise.
�I� I�m sorry I just� the thought of him being put to death�� she trembled, �I�. I love him, Ichigo. He�s� I love him�� she spoke as if the words were strange on her lips; as if she were really hearing them for the first time.
Ichigo�s eyes softened as he watched her. Placing his hand over her trembling fingers, he wasn�t surprised when a droplet of water fell on his knuckle. �I like you Rukia�� he said, �I mean� I like you a lot, but I don�t think you will ever find someone like him, who feels as deeply and genuinely about you as he does.� He paused as she looked up at him with wide pleading eyes, as if she were begging him to tell her what to do. �You two� I don�t know if you can ever really be together after everything, but I think you should hold on as tightly as you can for as long as you can� even if it�s only until tomorrow� Hold onto him, Rukia.�
She whimpered slightly as she felt him squeeze her hand. The floodgates in her heart were swinging open wide, but she was trying her hardest to stop the torrent.
�Do what feels right.�
� � �
As Rukia ran through the streets, the full moon became visible through the clouds, illuminating the night briefly before again growing obscured. She leapt up onto Urahara�s porch and ran until she got to Renji�s door, throwing it open in haste, �Renji!� Her eyes grew wide when she saw the room was barren and the futon had been neatly folded. Her breaths became faster and more frantic.
�Kuchiki-san?�
�Urahara-san! Where is he?� Rukia asked pleadingly as she saw the shopkeeper, obviously dressed in his night clothes.
�Abarai-san left a short while ago for Soul Society,� he said, seemingly a little surprised to see her there. �He told you, didn�t he?� he added.
�He was supposed to leave tomorrow! It�s still the middle of the night!� she argued as if it would make a difference.
�I�m sorry, Kuchiki-san. He woke me and told me he couldn�t sleep and he was heading out,� the shopkeeper replied seeming a little ashamed, somehow.
Her fists balled up as she stood up a little straighter, �I�m going after him.�
� � �
As Renji neared the end of the precipice world, he subconsciously slowed his pace. He thought about a lot of things; his friends, the emergence of his hollow, battles he�d fought, fallen comrades, even Zabimaru, but mostly his thoughts lingered on Rukia. They drifted back to the feeling of her warm breath softly brushing across his lips as they lay in the sand together; her supple thighs on his hips, the subtle scent of her perfume.
He really was hopeless� Even after he�d been so convincing earlier, here he was right where he started, wanting to run back to her and tell her it was all a lie. He�d convinced himself that he could step aside for her, after all he�d done it before. He�d really felt like he could do it. His resolve was solid and his mind was clear, clearer than it had been in a long time � yet she�d shattered his resolution so easily with just a hint of affection.
He�d be lying if he said he had left simply because he couldn�t sleep tonight. Truth was he was afraid if he saw her again tomorrow, he wouldn�t be able to go through with it. All she had to do was offer herself to him, just like last night� He felt defenseless against her.
His pupils shrank slightly as morning light spilled in as the gate ahead of him opened up. This was it. He swallowed as his steps drug even more. Once he stepped through those doors he�d be in Soul Society. He shook his head and shoved down the anxiety pooling in his gut. He stepped out into the light. The sun wasn�t yet above the horizon, but the sky was already brightening. He heard some shouts when the guards noticed him. He took Zabimaru from his belt and laid the beloved sword down at his feet. As the sound of scurrying feet darted around him, he placed his hands behind his head and quietly watched the sunrise.
The soldiers that surrounded him had their swords drawn, but after the infamous reputation he�d made none of them seemed overly inclined to step up and grab him. They barked out threats to him, but remained passively at a distance. Renji didn�t hear them. He was watching the glorious display of colors on the horizon. It�s weird how you suddenly appreciate things that you know you�re about to lose.
It wasn�t until he felt a pair of hands grab his wrists and pull them behind him that his focus was finally broken. He turned his eyes down to see the squad two captain placing cuffs on him, none too gently.
�Abarai. Good of you to show your face. I hope you aren�t expecting leniency for this,� she sneered as she kicked his zanpakutou away from him, sending it rolling several meters.

�Not expecting� just hoping,� he muttered distantly as he stared at his grieving Zabimaru.
When his eyes rose to the fore he found a seated officer with a spiritual suppression collar open against his neck. It closed snuggly with a �click� and Renji could feel its effects working almost immediately. More shinigami arrived as he was being restrained. He saw many faces he knew. Friends.
Hisagi arrived, but appeared stone-faced. Renji couldn�t read him at all. He saw Ukitake-Taichou trot up, seemingly out of breath. The kind captain looked concerned and anxious. He saw Hitsugaya-Taichou appear nearby. The young captain looked serious, but somewhere in his features Renji sensed a touch of sympathy. Momo arrived right after that. Her hair was down from its usual bun and her clothes slightly disheveled. Her eyes were still a bit puffy from sleep. It gave him a small degree of joy seeing the concern in her face. Then as Soifon-Taichou gave him a shove to get him walking, the crowd parted and he looked up to see his own ex-captain standing with their former 3^rd seat at his side. He was wearing Renji�s old lieutenant badge on his arm. Renji tore his eyes away from that sight as his chest constricted. He supposed he shouldn�t be surprised by that after how long he�d been gone� still, it grieved him somehow.
It was then that a familiar voice rang out through the crowd; a voice that made Renji stiffen.
�Wait please!� Rukia�s breathy voice cried. �Wait a moment!� she skidded to a halt a short distance behind him with a harshly heaving chest. �Please, let me talk to him for a moment,� she pleaded.
�Rukia�� he whispered as he tried to look over his shoulder to see her.
The second squad captain looked displeased as she held fast to Renji�s bound wrists. She opened her mouth to speak, but Ukitake stepped in before she did. �It�s not really appropriate right now, Kuchiki,� he said.
�Please, I� just one short moment.� She looked to be practically in shambles.
The desperation in her eyes was obvious to the benevolent captain and he frowned sympathetically. �I suppose it can�t hurt for a moment.�
�Ukitake!� Soifon glared at him seemingly offended.
�It won�t hurt anyone to let her have a last word. Have mercy,� he spoke almost scoldingly toward the young captain.
Soifon scoffed and reluctantly turned her captor around to face the petite woman. �If you ask me, she should be arrested as well,� she grumbled.
Renji�s eyes were fixed on her, but he didn�t speak until she was standing before him, looking exhausted and positively defeated. �Why�d you come?� he whispered, �I didn�t want you to see this.�
�You left without even saying goodbye� You stupid jerk,� she cursed him as her lips quivered softly.
�Sorry,� he muttered. He wasn�t sure whether to feel overjoyed to see her one last time, or angry that she�d just made herself an accomplice.
She sniffled audibly as her eyes welled with tears. �I had something to tell you,� her whole body was shivering as she stared up into his unreadable eyes. She reached up and put her arms around his neck, burying her face against his collared neck. �I wanted you to know,� the words came out slightly smothered against his shirt. �I love you, Renji,� she choked out, �I love you.�
Renji�s face contorted as he heard those words leave her lips; words he�d longed to hear her say since before he�d even become a man. He felt her petite, slightly cold hands on his cheeks as she pressed her trembling lips against his�. His heart felt like it was beating so hard it might crack his ribs. He kissed her back, wishing to the gods he could put his arms around her, just once more. He could feel the dampness of her tears on his face as she whimpered against his mouth. She loved him. She loved him and she�d told him to his face in front of everyone.
It was the best and worst day of his life.
As their lips parted she still held him, hopelessly clinging to him for as long as would be allowed. Renji too found himself trying to hold on, despite his bound hands. He could only nuzzle her raven hair and bite back the anguish that was constricting his throat so painfully.
It was all too soon that the second squad captain let out a groan and gave Renji�s arm a swift jerk, �Uug, you�ve all said your goodbyes now. I�m not standing here all morning for this.�
As Renji was pulled back, Rukia felt her captain�s gentle hand on her shoulder, attempting to comfort her but, falling short of any real influence. She couldn�t stop the tears as she saw his lips whisper to her an inaudible �love you too,� as he was turned around and lead away. As he retreated, she could see his shoulders shaking as he was unable to keep himself together anymore.
After the spectacle ended the shinigami gradually dissipated and the courtyard grew empty. Even Byakuya turned his back and shuffled away, all be it slowly and somewhat reluctantly. Rukia sank to her knees with no one except her captain remaining.
�Come, my dear. I�ve very sorry, but you�ll be wanted for questioning.�
� � �
As Rukia drug her feet listlessly toward home, her mind was buzzing with feelings of futility and emptiness. She�d been questioned for hours, and although she didn�t expect to get off with just a slap on the wrist, Ukitake had assured her she wouldn�t be facing anything drastic. She�d been instructed to stay at home and await punishment, and had been suspended from duty until then.
The questions they�d asked were very personal and she�d been immensely uncomfortable talking to them about the matters they�d inquired about. She�d stuck up for Renji as much as she could. She�d tried to convince them of his good intentions and misfortune, blaming Aizen for Renji�s affliction. She tried hard to make them see him as a victim, and one of the interrogators had been a former colleague of Renji�s, and seemed indulgent toward her. In the end, however, she supposed it was more what was going down on the other end of the interrogation that mattered� Renji�s end.
Her hopes weren�t high. She merely hoped he wouldn�t be executed� that was the best she could hope for at this point� although maybe she was being selfish with that sentiment, as the alternative was the Maggot�s Nest� life imprisonment.
She dragged herself up the porch and made her way to her room where she gently closed the door behind her. As she held the door handle and stared vacantly, her forehead knocked against the closed door and she squeezed her eyes closed. None of this felt real, yet in another way it all felt too real. She slid down the wall and into a crumpled mess on the floor.
�Renji.�
� � �
Renji sat up from the slightly stale smelling mat as the guard brought him his meal and gave him a order to eat fast. He figured they were going to interrogate him more. They�d been at it since he�d arrived, and although he�d been mostly cooperative, they still had him under maximum security and didn�t feed him enough for all the talking they were making him do. The shackles were becoming less disruptive after four days, and he ate the tasteless gruel in silence. The suppression collar bothered him the most. It was uncomfortable on its own, as there were prongs on the inside, but on top of that it caused a burning sensation that throbbed like nothing else. His hollow was quiet with the collar on, although he didn�t know whether that was from the collar, or simply because it was becoming more submissive.
As he finished the meal, he gave a slight frown that there was no more, not that it had tasted that good, but he was still hungry. The portions were a lot less than what he usually ate so the past four days he�d been somewhat ravenous.
The guard appeared moments later and ushered him out of the cell and into the hands of two other shinigami. He obediently walked between them, his shackles clanging with every step he took. After a long, strenuous walk he was led into a dark room where the light beamed down unnervingly on him. He was sat down in a creaky wooden chair and his shackles were secured to floor hinges so that he couldn�t move around. This wasn�t like the last interrogation sessions. He couldn�t see anything but darkness outside of his circle of light, but he could hear them clearly as their daunting voices boomed through the chamber.
�Abarai Renji, your interrogators have informed us that you can give us information on Aizen Souske,� the disembodied voice said calmly.
Renji strained his eyes against the darkness as he answered, �Yes, that�s right.�
�Tell us then. Tell us everything you know.�
Renji�s expression became cautious, �Well as much as I�d like to help, I was kinda hopin� that little tidbit would be able to buy me somethin� nice.� He was treading on thin ice, he knew, but it wasn�t like he had anything to lose.
�You want leniency in exchange for information?� the voice sounded female this time.
��That�s right,� he said plainly.
�We have been informed of your plight. You are too much of a danger to be allowed leniency,� a different voice this time.
Renji�s eyes widened a bit and he protested, �But I�m not the same as I was before!�
�You killed your own comrades, and brutally attacked your squad captain and raped a female officer. Do you deny this?�
Renji�s eyes narrowed and slid to the floor in front of him, �No.�
�Then there will be no negotiations. Now tell us what you know of Aizen Souske.�
There was a long pause before he spoke. ��I hate him, and I hope you guys catch the fucker�� He straightened his posture. �That�s all I�ll say.�
�Playing hard ball with us won�t get you anywhere, Abarai. Tell us what you know or face a much harsher interrogation,� the voice warned dryly.

Renji slowly allowed himself to smirk, �Ya think threatenin� me will get you your answers? There�s nothing that could make me talk if I don�t wanna.�
�We have our wa--�
�Do you know what it�s like to have a fuckin� hollow in your head?! Do you know what it�s like to lose control of your body and wake up covered in blood and choking� the life out of your comrade?! Do you?! Do any of you?!�
�Calm yoursel--� a voice began but Renji didn�t let it finish.
�No! You don�t know! �What it�s like to be injected with drugs that make you forget who you are! To be strapped to a fuckin� wall while mad scientists try to erase everythin� that makes you you! If you think you can torture the information out of me� you�ve got another thing comin�� Pain is nothing.� He paused but no voices replied to his outburst. �I�m not sayin� you should just turn me loose and pretend nothin� ever happened. I turned myself in because I wanna take responsibility. I wanna see Aizen�s plans fold and I wanna see his head on a stick paraded down main street. I�m just askin� for a little compassion� maybe that�s a lot to ask for, and honestly it ain�t somethin� I�m used to gettin�� but I was a shinigami before all this� and I was proud of that� I�d wear those colors again in a heartbeat.�
�Are you asking us to reinstate you to the Gotei thirteen?�
Renji huffed, �How stupidly wonderful that would be� I don�t expect anythin� like that� but there is a war coming, and I know all about Aizen�s army.� He looked up toward where he assumed people were sitting and watching him. �I�m not opposed to being used. Everything they did to me, they were trying to make a weapon� and now it seems that weapon has fallen back into your hands.�
�You want us to put you on the battlefield,� a feminine voice said sounding thoughtful. �But what proof do we have that you wouldn�t turn on us? The fourth squad tells us you are like a time bomb that can go off at any time.�
Renji recalled momentarily the incident where vice-captain Isane tried to stop him from losing control and took a dive through the prison bars as a result. �It was hard to control at first. I was afraid to be near anyone who was important to me� but I�ve learned now. Kurosaki Ichigo helped me train� the time I spent with the hollows that serve under Aizen also helped me out a bit� I�m not the same man I was when this all started. If you�re afraid I�ll lose control, then why not test me?�
� � �
Renji stood in the center of the coliseum with his trusted Zabimaru resting comfortably in his palm. His breaths were slow and deep. He had felt anxious and slightly apprehensive before he�d stepped into the arena, but as his zanpakutou was placed in his hands, he felt a calm befall him. And strangely, even though he knew he was about to face an onslaught like nothing else, he felt tranquil, as if everything around him was moving in slow motion. He felt like his senses were turned up way beyond what they�d ever been before� was the hollow in him asleep, or was he simply in tune with it. He didn�t know, but as the three captains stepped into the arena he could feel their reiatsus. They were enormous and heavy through the air and he exhaled slowly as they advanced toward him. The hallow mask materialized as he raised his sword. He would not lose. He felt confident as he planted his feet and called Zabimaru�s name. He would not lose.

A/N: Heya guys, thanks for reading, sorry for the slow updates, but I�m also working on a doujinshi + my own original comic so I�ve been a bit pre-occupied. It�s encouraging to hear your thoughts, so please let me know what you guys think!
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Things Never Spoken