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The Heart in My Hand	By : chayron Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 10028 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. It belongs to its respective owners. This fan fiction is not a commercial project, and I am not making any money from writing it.

Chapter List
- 1-Part 1
- 2-Part 2
- 3-Part 3
- 4-Part 4
- 5-Part 5
- 6-Part 6
- 7-Part 7
- 8-Part 8
- 9-Part 9
- 10-Part 10
- 11-Part 11
- 12-Part 12
- 13-Part 13
- 14-Part 14
- 15-Part 15
- 16-Part 16
- 17-Part 17
- 18-Part 18
- 19-Part 19
- 20-Part 20
- 21-Part 21
- 22-Part 22
- 23-Part 23
- 24-Part 24
- 25-Part 25
- 26-Part 26
- 27-Part 27
- 19
- 20
- 21
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach – it belongs to its respective owners. This fan fiction is not a commercial project, and I am not making any money from writing it.
Warnings:
1. Yaoi (male x male). Ulquiorra x Ichigo and vice versa. Other pairings?
2. Ichigo – almost 19 years old; Ulquiorra – probably a few hundred as a Hollow and about a decade or so as an Arrancar?
3. Post anime (haven’t read the manga).
4. Alternate Universe.
5. I’m not a native speaker, thus expect various language oddities.
6. I’m not very familiar with all the details in the anime, and I am also new to Bleach fandom, so I will be straying away from the canon quite frequently. I do my research but Bleach is a vast universe that is not so easy to grasp. I must admit, though, that there are also things in the anime that don’t make sense to me and I take the liberty of recreating certain parts of this universe as I see fit.
The Heart in My Hand
by chayron (lttomb@yahoo.com), beta-read by Ash
Part 20
In near-total darkness, Ulquiorra descended a seemingly endless flight of stairs. Tiny lamps were scattered along the wall. It was damp, the walls sticky with some kind of moss. The steps were slippery and Ulquiorra had to tread carefully.
Finally, he reached the end of the stairs where the narrow passage opened into a wide hall. It was better lit than the stairs. Lamps encircled an enormous pillar in the middle of the hall. Not for the first time, Ulquiorra was curious about this peculiar blend of technology and medieval ages in Seireitei.
He could sense three reiatsu on the other side of the pillar. Ulquiorra was suppressing his own reiatsu, and it made it difficult for him to pinpoint the exact location of the guards or how strong they were. Yet, he would have to get past them just like he had gotten past the ones outside.
- - -
Sosuke Aizen raised his head at the tingle of familiar energy that reached his muddled and restricted senses. Even so, he recognized Ulquiorra. There was, however, something off with his reiatsu. In a moment, Ulquiorra stood in front of his cell, staring at him through the thick, metallic bars.
The Shinigami was confined to a chair, his body all but bound by black hands, only his face uncovered. It was dark in the cell, neither windows nor any other source of light present, just the lamp from the adjacent wall in the corridor.
“Have you come to free me?” Aizen asked.
“No.”
“Well, of course. Then to kill me?”
“No.”
The unspoken question of “why” hung suspended in the damp air but it didn’t seem like Ulquiorra was going to answer it. Aizen inspected Ulquiorra more carefully. It was not only Ulquiorra’s reiatsu that had changed. The Hollow mask was no more, as there wasn’t the Hollow hole in his chest.
“What happened to you?” Aizen asked. “I was told the Human kid killed you.” He could not help biting, “The one you deemed to be of no importance.”
Ulquiorra chuckled, the sound unusual to Aizen’s ears. “Yes, Ichigo appeared to be much more efficient than I had presumed. I was cloned by Mayuri Kurosuchi.”
Aizen took in the information and sniggered. “So he can clone Arrancars freely? I can hardly call that fair.”
Ulquiorra shrugged. “He is, however, not trying to raise an Arrancar army. The only thing he has achieved for now is getting his institute leveled.”
“So that’s what the earthquake was.”
Ulquiorra shrugged again. “I suppose.”
“He did make you,” Aizen pointed out. “Not a bad achievement, is it?”
“You were the one who made me. He just made a copy.”
An amused smile appeared on the Shinigami’s lips. “And yet you don’t want to help me escape…”
“There are limits to how many times one can be used.”
Aizen’s lips stretched into an even wider grin. He stared at Ulquiorra. “I killed Gin.”
Ulquiorra nodded. “Yes, I know.”
“Hm… Don’t you want revenge?”
“Revenge?” Ulquiorra repeated, surprised. The thought had never occurred to him. “No, I don’t. He knew he was going to die. He probably knew all of us were going to die.”
“He waited too long. He could have killed me if he acted earlier.”
Ulquiorra chuckled. “Why are you even saying that? You know why he hesitated.”
Curious, Aizen watched Ulquiorra. The changes were not only apparent outwardly but inwardly as well. In the past, Ulquiorra had never been good with emotions and was unable to fully grasp the reasons behind them. Yet, now he understood all the reasons perfectly well. Gin had been in love. Foolishly, recklessly in love and that was what had killed him.
Ulquiorra stared at Aizen. This was the man whom he owed and had blindly followed. Maybe he still would if he hadn’t died. Strange sentiments were still present but Ulquiorra wondered whether he had them because of Aizen or Gin. Gin had been in love with Aizen and, as with most unreasonable feelings, had a hard time dealing with it. Gin had slept around either for fun or just out of plain bitterness. Most likely both. Most Arrancars abhorred the Shinigami in general. In addition to that, some of them were indifferent to sexual activity. Gin had had a limited choice in partners but he had made the most of it. With time, Ulquiorra had learned to enjoy the other man’s company.
Things with Gin had certainly been much easier than with Ichigo: usually, Gin had been the one to instigate sex between them, but he never refused when asked either. Ulquiorra understood the problem was due to his and Ichigo’s different backgrounds, but he couldn’t completely grasp the exact reason behind it. They liked each other’s company, Ichigo reacted to him, thus it baffled Ulquiorra, all the other additional factors that seemed to influence the red-head.
“Why did you come here?”
“Hmm…” Ulquiorra hummed softly, thinking of how to put his strange sentiments into words. “I could say I wanted some kind of a closure.”
Aizen let out a contemptuous grunt. “Eighteen thousand years is not such a long time.”
Ulquiorra wondered whether that was a threat or just a simple statement. It didn’t even matter. “I will be long dead when you come out of here,” he said.
The Shinigami pursed his lips in pretentious regret. “Don’t say that.”
“It is the truth.”
It probably was. Aizen sighed. “So what are you going to do?”
“First, I will return to Hueco Mundo. Then… I don’t know. Maybe I will start gathering an army?”
A soft snigger echoed in the cell. “You? An army? I bet if I went to check on you in a few days, I’d find you in a tree again.”
Ulquiorra couldn’t help but grin. Aizen was probably right. No, he was definitely right.
Aizen tried to shift in the chair to alleviate the tension on his body but the black hands squeezed at him even tighter and he sagged into the same position. He shook his head. “You can’t go back to that. Not the way you are now. No matter how nostalgic you feel about your previous Hollow life, it’s impossible now. It would drive you mad.”
“Would it?” That was a disappointment but Ulquiorra had suspected it – the changes were too drastic.
Ulquiorra turned to go and Aizen frantically thought of something to say. Despite his outward stoicism, he cherished this opportunity to have a conversation with someone.
“How did you get past the guards?”
Ulquiorra was already moving back into the corridor.
“They probably don’t know what went past them, but I do,” Aizen said almost desperately. “What if I tell them?”
Curious, Ulquiorra turned around. “Why would you?”
“Damn you.”
- - -
The alarm rang at about the same time Ulquiorra left the premises of the First Division. Unhurriedly, he walked the streets while Shinigami ran past him. Just as arranged, Ulquiorra found Ichigo waiting for him at the West Gate. He was not alone, though. The annoying nuisance called Abarai Renji was with him.
“Great to see you, too,” Renji answered Ulquiorra’s glare. “So where did you go? And why are you wearing Shinigami clothing?”
Interested, Ichigo waited. He, however, was certain that Ulquiorra wouldn’t answer thus was surprised to see his mouth move.
“Sightseeing. Trying out the local culture.”
Ichigo rolled his eyes. Renji sighed and clapped Ulquiorra’s shoulder. “Isn’t convincing even one bit. But if we’re talking about sightseeing, I’m your man. I know the perfect spot we can all relax with a nice cup of sake.”
“I don’t drink.”
Renji gave Ulquiorra an insulted look. “Well, you definitely should!”
“Why?”
“That’s a stupid question!”
“I think it’s a very valid question,” Ichigo said, taking Ulquiorra by his upper arm and trying to pry him from Renji’s iron grip. “We need to go.” He gave Ulquiorra a look. “And probably fast at that, right?”
- - -
Head buzzing with the sake he had drunk, Ichigo looked around. He was still mystified how, after all the protests, the three of them had ended up in the same inn that Renji had shown him before. He sipped more of his sake and turned to look at Ulquiorra, who was staring forlornly at his mug of tea. Ichigo suspected that the look was due to Renji’s enthusiastic prattle about his latest victory over someone named Sataru Kalima. They had already heard it four times.
“You told this already,” Ulquiorra notified Renji when he was about to tell the story for the fifth time.
“Hmm… Have I?” Renji slurred. “Then how about I tell you about that ugly Hollow I killed last week? Ah, right.” He patted Ulquiorra’s arm. “No offence intended.”
“I’m not a Hollow,” Ulquiorra repeated patiently, smacking at his hand. “And no, I do not want to hear about that Hollow.”
“Then how about…”
“No.”
“Mm… Then how ab-”
“No.”
“I think it’s time for us to go,” Ichigo said; Ulquiorra looked as if he was about to grab Renji by the head and bash it against the tabletop. Ichigo stood up carefully, trying not to sway too much. “We need to leave before something bad happens, but I’m sure it already has.”
Renji pouted. “Spoilsport.” With a sigh, he stood up. “I’ll see you off.”
Ulquiorra gave him a skeptical look – he doubted Abarai was in any condition to walk. He was also surprised to be proven wrong when the long-haired man smoothly wriggled out from under the table and slithered to settle the bill. Even Ichigo seemed impressed.
Ulquiorra found it funny how Ichigo and Renji, supporting each other, half-hopped and half-staggered all the way to the West Gate. At least they seemed to be sobering up. The ruckus caused by the alarm appeared to have mostly died out, but the Shinigami from the First Division could still be seen here and there. It would not be long before they received orders to capture him.
“Don’t worry,” Renji told Ulquiorra when they were about to part at the gate. “When I’m the head of Central 46, I’ll allow you to return.”
Ulquiorra nodded at the drunken Shinigami. “Thank you, but I would rather wait until it is Ichigo’s turn.”
Suspicious, Renji glanced at the other red-head. Not certain what they were on about, Ichigo shrugged and gave a tentative smile.
“I knew it!” Renji declared at the sight of the other red-head’s grinning face. “I totally knew it! You’re after a captain’s seat! That won’t happen! I was here first!”
“Yes, yes,” Ichigo nodded, catching on. “I’m certain you’ll make a good captain. The best of all. A splendid captain. The strongest there has ever been. And the wisest and, of course, the most charism-”
“Hurry this up,” Ulquiorra interrupted the unceasing flow of adjectives, “there is only about an hour left until I have to leave for Hueco Mundo.”
Ichigo’s face acquired a sarcastic look but he held his tongue back. He waved at Renji and went past the gate with Ulquiorra in tow. Once they were further away from Seireitei, Ichigo pulled out a small, decorative box encrusted with golden beads and opened it. A small, black butterfly rose into the air, making their surroundings shimmer and bend and a small gate appeared.
“Shunsui gave it to me to bring you back to the Human world,” Ichigo explained when he saw Ulquiorra’s questioning eyes. “You can easily open Garganta from there.”
Nodding, Ulquiorra stepped into the gate. Ichigo followed him and the small gate closed behind him. They suddenly appeared above Karakura Town. Suspended in the air, they stared at the few lights shimmering in the night.
“How about you get us closer to the ground?” Ulquiorra suggested.
Sheepishly, Ichigo scratched the back of his head. “I don’t know how.”
“Figures,” Ulquiorra muttered, jumping down. He fell through the air and released his Resurrection form, spread his wings, and softly sailed to the ground. The air crackled under the pressure of the powerful reiatsu and Ulquiorra dismissed his Resurrection form before it could cause any damage. Amongst the green rain, Ichigo’s back hit the ground next to Ulquiorra seconds later, a sizeable crater appearing in the asphalt. Greenish liquid started running into the trench, creating a puddle. At the sound of something crashing on the street, lights turned on in the nearby windows and faces appeared.
“Very graceful,” Ulquiorra complimented the red-head.
With a groan, Ichigo sat up. “Shut up. Easy for you to say. Did you find out what you wanted?” Ichigo asked Ulquiorra as he patted his clothes. He could not understand whether they were wet or covered in sand. The mysterious green liquid didn’t seem to stick to him.
“Find out what?”
“Don’t bullshit me. I know you went to see Aizen. It’s probably best you leave for Hueco Mundo as fast as possible, too. Before they send someone to retrieve you. It would be funny if they put both of you in the same cell.”
“Yes, I thought that it would be funny as well. For a short amount of time, though.”
Ichigo rolled his eyes. “At least you understand that much. Why in the world did you even go to see him? They released you safe and sound and you go and screw it all up and set them back on your trail. That’s idiocy!”
“Hm. It really is.”
Ichigo stared at him, waiting for Ulquiorra to explain but the other man shrugged instead. With a discontent grunt, Ichigo turned in the direction of his home. “A hero of ten seconds,” he mumbled regretfully. Then the red-head realized his house would be the first place the Shinigami would look for Ulquiorra and stopped.
“Now, where to?” he muttered.
Ulquiorra gave him a searching look then, unexpectedly, jumped onto a nearby house and flash-stepped south. As expected, Ichigo followed him without voicing any questions. The best thing to do was go to Hueco Mundo at once. Yet, both of them were hesitating. Ulquiorra didn’t want to leave like this before getting what he wanted. He knew he would keep thinking about this missed opportunity and it bothered him. Ulquiorra hated being bothered. Especially when there was, obviously, no reason to be bothered. Meanwhile, Ichigo wasn’t certain why he was following Ulquiorra. On the other hand, he knew very well why, he just felt somewhat lost and agitated.
They left the premises of the town, then the city itself. It was nearly midnight, but the sky was lit brightly by the moon, making it easy to pick their path. At some point, Ichigo realized that they were moving in the direction of the sea. It didn’t make much sense but Ichigo wasn’t about to question the other man. They never reached the beach, though, Ulquiorra stopping in a small clearing somewhere in the woods. Ichigo landed a few meters behind him and stood uncertainly, staring at the other man. Neither moved.
“Well, what are we doing here?”
Ulquiorra gave Ichigo a disbelieving look; the other man had already followed him all this way and was still feigning ignorance. This was both amusing and annoying. In a few quick steps, Ulquiorra approached the red-head. “Are you serious?” he grunted, planting his hands on Ichigo’s shoulders and pushing him back until the other male’s back hit a tree. Ichigo stiffened in alarm, his eyes widening slightly.
“I… I’m…” Ichigo muttered uncertainly. “I’m not exactly sure I…”
His meek response didn’t please Ulquiorra. He grabbed the other man’s hands, pinning him to the tree. “Believe it or not,” he told Ichigo, “I have run out of time waiting until you are exactly sure.”
It was undoubtedly true and Ichigo could only stare at him, sheepish. When Ulquiorra’s mouth covered his, he tensed again, thought about protesting and turned his head away. That resulted in Ulquiorra’s mouth pressing against the column of his neck, which was probably even worse. Ichigo moved his hands tentatively, but Ulquiorra didn’t even think of letting him go.
Having discovered the red-head’s weakness in no time, Ulquiorra’s mouth was now assaulting his neck. Ichigo closed his eyes and swallowed loudly. His head was buzzing with tension and excitement. He let out a shuddery breath and felt Ulquiorra’s mouth leave his neck. He opened his eyes and met a curious gaze. Ichigo stared back. This was probably the last time they would see each other.
“Damn you,” Ichigo muttered.
Ulquiorra chuckled at the needy desperation in the red-head’s voice. He leaned in to kiss him again and this time Ichigo answered. The kiss was clumsy at first but quickly turned hungry and demanding, making Ichigo lightheaded and infecting him with fervor.
Ulquiorra broke the kiss with a victorious snort. Ichigo’s back sagged against the tree for support and he kept his eyes closed. He knew Ulquiorra was grinning at him. Then he felt Ulquiorra’s hand settle on the back of his head and their mouths joined again. It took Ichigo some time to realize that his wrists were free and had been so for quite awhile. He wrapped his arms around the other man’s shoulders, gripping at the white clothes. He found it somewhat amusing that Ulquiorra had to tiptoe to kiss him.
Ulquiorra’s left hand smoothed over Ichigo’s chest and the red-head’s skin tingled with the feeling of the other man’s reiatsu. Under other circumstances he would have been alarmed by the rising reiatsu, but he felt no hostility. Ulquiorra was doing this deliberately either to turn him on or to confirm his victory. It was probably the same thing, though. Ichigo grinned into the shorter man’s mouth; Ulquiorra could be childish.
Then the red-head felt Ulquiorra’s hand move down. Without stopping, Ulquiorra traced him through the front of his hakama then gave a light squeeze through the fabric. Then he stroked again and Ichigo let out a soft sigh. It felt unbelievable to have Ulquiorra do that to him. The knowledge that this was probably the only time that this was going to happen was making the red-head strangely nostalgic and reckless. He could feel himself harden further and wanted nothing more than for Ulquiorra to keep touching him.
Through the countless folds in Ichigo’s hakama, the impatient hand found its way inside and palmed him. With a grunt, Ichigo leaned into the other man. For a moment, his world was reduced to his penis in Ulquiorra’s hand. The body against his felt taut and hard. He ran his hands over Ulquiorra’s back then rested them on the other man’s thighs. Ulquiorra was stroking him in slow, unhurried caresses and Ichigo’s fingers squeezed the other man’s thighs appreciatively. They were muscular and hard. Thinking about the stark contrast from what he was used to, Ichigo leaned his head back against the tree and closed his eyes again.
Ulquiorra took this as a cue and his mouth found Ichigo’s again. Their tongues joined and meshed together. Panting, they broke the kiss and, impatient, Ichigo delved into the other man’s hakama. Clumsily, he groped around and cupped Ulquiorra’s erection. This was the first time that he was touching another man like this. Ulquiorra was hard. A bolt of exhilarated excitement shot up Ichigo’s back. His slack hold tightened around Ulquiorra’s shaft. The back of his fist pressed against the pubic hair.
Ichigo stroked lightly. Ulquiorra encouraged him by giving him a few firm strokes in return. Light-headed with lust, Ichigo tried to match the rhythm. He wanted to make sure he was giving just as well as he was receiving.
During the next few minutes Ichigo was only concentrated on pleasure, caring about nothing else. His awareness returned somewhat when he realized that he was about to come inside his hakama. Sensing his predicament, Ulquiorra groped around his waist with his free hand. Untying his sash with one hand appeared to be an impossible task and he let go of Ichigo.
Panting, fighting the urge to stroke himself, the red-head watched Ulquiorra remove the black sash off his waist. Vaguely, Ichigo’s ears registered the soft clatter of Ulquiorra’s Zanpakuto as it fell into the moss next to them. The red-head let out a satisfied sound when Ulquiorra’s hands delved back into his hakama.
Ichigo came with a soft grunt. Panting, he lowered his forehead onto Ulquiorra’s shoulder. The other man’s hands were still inside of his hakama. Ichigo’s face flamed up at the thought of the black sash that he could feel Ulquiorra wiping him with.
The red-head had stopped stroking Ulquiorra during his orgasm but now his hand picked up the pace again. The red-head’s free hand found the end of the soiled sash and pulled on it. Ulquiorra let go. It excited him when Ichigo took the initiative. He liked baffling, dominating the red-head but felt no less thrilled when Ichigo lost his cool and gave in to his nature.
Ichigo was just in time to save Ulquiorra’s white hakama from staining. He kept stroking the other man to prolong his orgasm then, making sure he had caught everything, let go.
Ichigo’s forehead was resting on Ulquiorra’s shoulder since he didn’t dare look up. Both of them were panting softly. The red-head was holding onto the black sash awkwardly, not sure what to do with it. Then he was drawn back to his senses by a few Shinigami reiatsu sparking up not too far away. He raised his head to look south.
“You need to go,” he muttered.
Ulquiorra nodded. “Yes.” He let go of Ichigo and leaned down to grab his Zanpakuto off the ground. Moving away from Ichigo, he extended his hand and started opening a Garganta. It was ready in several seconds.
“Well, goodbye and good luck, I suppose,” Ichigo muttered awkwardly.
“Thank you,” Ulquiorra said. He looked behind Ichigo where he could sense a few familiar reiatsu; they were very close now. He turned back to Ichigo. “Don’t forget to visit,” he said, grinning.
Ichigo rolled his eyes. “Maybe someday. Hurry up now.”
Ulquiorra nodded and Ichigo watched him disappear through the Garganta. When Renji landed next to him, Ichigo could not help but think about the coincidentally fortunate timing.
“Where is he?” Renji demanded and Ichigo felt the urge to step back at the smell of alcohol coming from his mouth.
Wondering whether Renji was sent here while still drunk or had made a search party of his own, Ichigo motioned at the empty space in front of him. “In Hueco Mundo. Why? Did something happen?”
Snorting, Renji took a look at the empty spot then looked around the clearing. “You could say that, yeah,” he spat. “Someone broke into the dungeons. I think we all know who it was.”
“Seriously? How dreadf-” Ichigo drawled, turning around when Yumichika and Ikkaku landed behind him. He waved at them. “Yo! How goes it?” Did they really expect to retrieve Ulquiorra with such meager forces or did they expect him to help out? “And who was it?” he asked, turning back to Renji.
“I’m going to hit you,” Renji threatened, looking around the clearing, but it was too dark to notice anything. Finding nothing out of the ordinary, he concentrated back on the other red-head. “I came here as soon as I heard about the incident but…”
“What?” Ichigo grunted defensively when Renji kept staring at him quietly. Then he realized that he was still holding the black sash in his hand. He had, in fact, used the same hand to show Renji the place where Ulquiorra had disappeared. “Ugh,” he muttered, embarrassed, and dropped the sash to the ground.
“You know,” Renji started, “you…” His intoxicated mind was having trouble coming up with an explanation and he fell silent. It was only too obvious what had transpired here. How desperate had they been to get it on in the middle of a forest? Renji just shook his head in disbelief and facepalmed before turning to his comrades. “We lost him. Let’s report and wait for further orders.”
Ikkaku, who had expected a decent fight, frowned. “Damn it.”
Yumichika rolled his eyes. “Report to whom, you moron? You drag us out to the middle of nowhere and then…”
“Yeah,” Ikkaku interrupted, “let’s go back to drinking.”
Ichigo watched them open the gate to Seireitei and disappear one by one. Left alone in the clearing, the red-head wondered why he and Ulquiorra had even tried to avoid soiling their clothes. They could have easily summoned new ones. Embarrassed and mystified by the wild passion that he had just experienced, Ichigo stared at the black sash on the ground. He could barely see it in the darkness. If Ulquiorra expected him to pick it up and fasten it above his bed like some kind of a romantic trophy, he was insane.
TBC
- 19
- 20
- 21
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The Heart in My Hand