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Underneath It All	By : Raceysama Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male > Grimmjow/Ichigo Views: 4160 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, any of the songs mentioned are not my own, nor do I make any profit from these works......

Chapter List
- 19
- 20
- 21
CHAPTER 20: PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach...
Onwards...
XOXOXOXO
Karakura Town
February 2009
Rukia squinted at the textbook before her, growling under her breath as her eyes flew over the tiny print. She hadn't been to a class in ages and, frankly, wasn't looking forward to it, but nii-sama, er, nii-san had demanded she attend. There would be no idleness on her part, so, in short, she'd had no choice but to enroll at the University.
Her major, History, was something that took her mind off of the hurt and anger that had previously been plaguing and consuming her. She was still pissed, but things were slowly getting better. She knew Renji could have handled their situation a lot better, but she was learning not to blame him for it. She was also learning not to blame Ichigo. He hadn't conspired against her the way she had thought for so long. He was just as much a victim in the situation as she, and with that realization, came slow acceptance. She wasn't quite ready to be his bosom buddy or anything, but she understood that everything that had happened to her wasn't his fault.
Rukia really didn't know what to do about Renji and the feelings she still held for him, though. She supposed it was time to overcome them, but it was so incredibly hard. She'd loved the red head for years and letting go was the toughest thing she'd had to do in a long time.
What to do?
The library at the University was dead silent, the clock on the wall over the huge entrance stating the time as 8:45 pm. Rukia sat back in her seat at the small, rectangular wooden table and rubbed her eyes. She was exhausted. She had been researching for a paper coming up the next week for her English class and the going was slow and excruciatingly boring. She really didn't want to write about Macbeth because she didn't understand Shakespeare. It was like Greek to her and she didn't see why English felt the need to study such things.
"Ughh, this is ridiculous," she sighed, massaging her temples with her fingertips.
"You don't like Shakespeare?" a deep voice inquired, startling the hell out of her.
Rukia whirled around in her seat to face the owner of said voice and her eyebrows raised in appreciation. The man standing behind her was extremely handsome. He was tall, lean, but muscular, had black hair, coal-colored eyes and a wide, friendly grin.
"U-uh, no, not really," she breathed.
The man took a seat beside her at the table and leaned towards the open textbook before her. He smelled really good, like warm apple pie. His eyebrows went up as he read aloud the title, "Ahh, Macbeth, huh? 'So foul and fair a day, I have not seen!' It's a pretty cool story."
Rukia wrinkled her nose and shook her head, "If you say so."
The man chuckled good-naturedly and held a strong-looking hand out, "I'm Kaien. What's your name?"
"R-Rukia."
"Rukia? Nice to meet you, Rukia. So, if you don't like Shakespeare, why are you burning the midnight oil just to read Macbeth?"
Rukia chuckled derisively, "Certainly not because I like it. I have a paper due next week on this story, but I don't understand Shakespeare at all. It's like alien technology to me."
Kaien tossed his head back and laughed heartily, his dark eyes shimmering and crinkling in the corners. His smile was huge and he had dimples. He was very attractive and Rukia felt her face growing warm from her observations.
This wasn't supposed to be happening. Renji was the only guy she'd ever been attracted or drawn to and to feel that with another person was definitely disconcerting. Rukia sat patiently, admiring the raven-haired male at her side, while his laughter subsided.
"Well, that's fair enough," he started, an amused gleam brightening his onyx orbs, "Shakespeare isn't really for everyone. I guess you could say it's an acquired taste."
"I guess."
Silence descended and Rukia could tell Kaien had more to say, but was probably unsure of how to say it. She peered at him from the corner of her eye and felt her breath hitch when she noticed the tall man watching her carefully, his expression suddenly serious. She swallowed nervously, shifting in her seat as she averted her gaze.
What was he thinking?
"Well, I'll let you get back to work, Rukia. It was great chatting with you," he finally stated as he rose from his seat, holding out a large hand once more.
Rukia nodded and tentatively shook the offered hand, "Y-yeah, it was nice talking to you, too," she said quietly.
"See you around."
With that, Kaien sauntered towards the entrance and disappeared out of the double doors. Once the man was gone, she breathed deeply.
That had been entirely too intense.
XOXOXOXO
Karakura Town
February 2009
Renji felt his heart leap into his throat. Shuuhei was leaning towards him, his lips mere inches from his own, but Renji wasn't quite ready for what the dark-haired DJ had on his mind. Sure, they'd kissed before and that in itself had been a huge step for him, but he could tell that Shuuhei was ready for more.
The man was patient, but also...a man. Each time they kissed, the intensity swelled and increased to frightening proportions and Renji would find himself backing away, tensing up and easing out of the man's embrace. Shuuhei never complained, but Renji could tell the other man was getting tired of being pushed away. Especially since he hadn't even told the DJ about his sordid past.
Renji wanted to be honest with the man and tell him everything because, truth be told, he really liked Shuuhei. He was just afraid of being embarrassed and exposing a part of himself that he'd only just learned to deal with. On top of everything, his mind was still torn up about Ichigo.
Fuck.
His friend had been shot on Christmas Day and things just hadn't been the same since. Ichigo was still in the hospital in a coma and Renji feared for the health of the strawberry's boyfriend, who hadn't said more than two words to anyone since the incident occurred.
Ichigo's father and sisters were holding up well, considering the circumstances. Isshin wasn't quite as cheerful as he used to be, Karin seemed even more morose and poor Yuzu would fall into random moments of depression and tears. Renji visited them often, just to check in and see how everyone was doing and was always faced with a facade of well-being. He felt bad for them, but oddly, he felt worse for Grimmjow.
The man hadn't been showing up at his club very often, but when he did, he locked himself inside his office the entire night. He wouldn't say more than a quiet "what's up" while passing through to his office and it seemed that no one knew how to reach him. Renji felt like even if someone did know how to reach him, what the hell would be said?
The blue-haired giant's face was always drawn and exhausted, dark rings under his dulled, blue eyes as if he hadn't slept in days. Everyone worried, but no one knew what to do. Grimmjow's father, Alric, was even at a loss. Renji just hoped the man would be ok, but most of all, he hoped Ichigo would come out of his coma soon, if at all.
He still couldn't believe someone had shot the strawberry. It wasn't as if Ichigo was a danger to anyone, so Renji supposed the guy just had rotten luck.
Shuuhei's soft, yet demanding lips brought Renji back to the present. The DJ had his fingers laced in Renji's loose hair, lightly massaging the scalp, while he slowly coaxed him to open his mouth. Renji sighed and let his hands settle on the shorter man's waist as Shuuhei pressed them backwards against the large, fluffy, indigo-hued comforter of his bed.
They were currently at his apartment, Shuuhei having dropped by on his day off. Las Noches didn't open on Mondays and Tuesdays, giving the employees a chance to relax during the week. Renji had just arrived home from work and received a text message from the DJ stating he would be over soon. They'd had dinner, Chinese take-out, and Renji had been in the process of changing into his sleepwear, when Shuuhei had entered his bedroom and gently pulled him down onto the bed.
Renji could tell the man was ready to move to the next level of their relationship, but as he'd stated earlier, he wasn't quite ready for that. Unohana-san encouraged him to talk to Shuuhei about his past and explain to him why he was so hesitant about moving forward, but that was easier said than done. He wanted to tell the guy, but how could he possibly face him afterwards? How would Shuuhei react to his past?
Renji didn't think the DJ would make fun of him or laugh about it, but what if Shuuhei shunned him? What if he didn't want to be with him anymore because of all the fucked up things he'd done? He didn't want to risk losing one of the best things that had ever happened to him. Not when things were just starting to go well, minus the Ichigo being shot incident.
Shuuhei broke the languid kiss, only to trace Renji's jawline with his sinful tongue until he reached his neck, where he teasingly sucked. Renji gasped softly and unconsciously arched his back.
Fuck, that was good.
Their bodies were pressed tightly together where their hips met and Shuuhei was gently grinding against him, rotating his hips in slow circles. It felt really good, but through the haze of pleasure, uncertainty rose, making his stomach roil uncomfortably.
Shuuhei had his large hands under Renji's white t-shirt, gradually inching his way towards the red head's nipples, when Renji lurched upwards, startling the DJ.
"Sh-Shuu, I'm-I'm not ready for this yet," he choked through the fearful clogging of his throat.
Shuuhei studied him for a moment, disappointment shining in those ebony depths, before he abruptly rose to his feet, leaving a dazed Renji lying on the bed. Renji levered himself to his elbows and watched as Shuuhei straightened his long-sleeved, green t-shirt.
"Renji, I don't know what's going on, but it's starting to feel like you don't want me. Everytime I go to touch you or kiss you anywhere other than your lips, you push me away. Is this what you want? Do you really want me, or are we just wasting our time?" the DJ asked in frustration as he pushed a hand through his spiky, dark hair.
Renji's tattooed brows flew to his hairline. He hadn't meant to make the man think he didn't want him when in fact, it was the complete opposite. He really liked Shuuhei.
"N-no, it's nothing like that, Shuu! I just...I just-"
"Renji, ya gotta tell me somethin'! I don't get it! One minute, you're all into it and the next, you're shoving me away from you! What's it gonna be?"
Shuuhei stood in the doorway of Renji's bedroom, hands shoved deeply into the pockets of his dark-blue jeans as he glared down at him. Renji eased off the bed and slowly approached the upset DJ. Shuuhei tensed, but allowed Renji to proceed, eyes never leaving the red head for an instant.
"I like you, Shuu. I like you a lot, but...but...there are just some things you don't know about me that are making me hesitate," Renji stated, trying and failing miserably not to let his voice shake.
Shuuhei scowled deeply, "Things like what? Don't you think I've got a right to know what's going on? I'm trying to understand you, but you're not cooperating with me."
Renji cringed. Shuuhei was absolutely right. He had every right to know, but Renji was afraid. He didn't think the gorgeous DJ would stick around if he found out everything he'd done and what had been done to him. Renji lowered his eyes to the floor and bit his bottom lip.
"Look," Shuuhei sighed in defeat, "it's obvious that you're not ready to talk about...whatever it is you're not telling me, so let's just give each other some space, ok?"
Renji's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to protest, but Shuuhei was already making his way towards the front door. Before he even had a chance to properly react, the DJ had disappeared from his apartment, shutting the door quietly behind himself.
Renji plopped back onto his bed and rested his elbows on his knees, then covered his face with his hands.
What the fuck was he gonna do now?
XOXOXOXO
Karakura Town
February 2009
Shirosaki smiled drunkenly down into his eighth shot of tequila, hiccupping slightly as he swayed on the rickety bar stool of the run down bar about a block from his home. He had been celebrating for some time now, ever since his come-up from the job he'd done for Halibel. The bitch had even had the nerve to come to him demanding her money back because the orange-haired kid, Ichigo, had somehow managed to survive.
Fucking dumbass broad.
Did she really think he was going to just turn around and give her back all that bread? She had to have been high off her ass to demand some shit like that.
Shiro giggled, then tossed back the shot. He slammed the sturdy glass on the bar top and beckoned the bartender with his right hand.
"Gimme 'notha one," he slurred when the tall, wavy-haired man made his slow approach, drying a glass with a white hand towel.
"Nah, Shiro, I think you've had enough for tonight."
"Fuuuck, tha', Kyoraku, I ain' drivin' er nothin'! Gimme one more!"
Kyoraku arched a brow and shook his head, "Shiro, go get some rest and when you come back, your first drink will be on me, how's that?"
Shiro contemplated the offer as best as his inebriated mind could handle and decided he would take the deal. He sucked his teeth, but nodded all the same. Kyoraku grinned and ambled off to help another patron, while Shiro slid bonelessly from the bar stool, stumbling slightly as he made his way for the door.
He hadn't heard from Hal since she'd approached him about a month ago asking for her money back, not that he cared. It was time for him to call his new bitch. He was drunk as shit and horny as hell, so getting his dick wet was his top priority at the moment.
He ambled out of the bar and slowly made his way down the darkened street, pulling his cell phone from the back pocket of his light-gray skinny jeans. He squinted at the bright screen and scrolled through his contacts for the number of that hot, red-haired, bartender chick he'd picked up last week from Seireitei in Karakura. Finding the number, he pressed the green phone icon to connect the call and lifted the device to his ear.
The phone rang three times before being answered, "Hello?" a sultry, feminine voice traveled over the line.
Shiro grinned hugely and shoved his free hand in his pocket, "'Sup, beau'ful? Ya free?"
The woman gave a husky chuckle, making his dick twitch excitedly, "Yeah, actually, I am. Why? You tryna see me?"
"Fuck yeah. Ya gonna lemme swing by?"
"If that's what you want."
Shiro cheered inwardly and outwardly allowed his cheshire cat grin to spread, "Text me yer address an' I'll be there inna minute."
"Ok."
He disconnected the call and waited for the woman's text to come through. Thirty seconds later, it did and he called a cab to get him to his destination.
He was so going to get laid.
XOXOXOXO
Karakura General Hospital
February 2009
Grimmjow trudged through the antiseptic-smelling hallways of Karakura General Hospital towards Ichigo's room, carrying his usual, every-three-days bouquet of flowers. It had taken him all of two weeks after the incident to finally muster the courage to visit his comatose boyfriend and once he had, he'd nearly broken down again at the sight of him.
Ichigo lay completely still, the only movement being the slow rising and falling of his chest and the only noise being the soft beeping of the heart monitor. He'd stood silently beside his boyfriend's bed just staring at him in disbelief, wishing desperately that Ichigo would wake up and get better.
He hadn't.
It was still painful, still incredibly hard to deal with. He missed sleep for days at a time, only resting when his body shut down on him, refusing to function. Crashing. He barely showed his face at the club these days and when he did, it was only to check his books and see how things were going.
He missed Ichigo so much, it physically hurt. For the first week after his boyfriend had been shot, he'd been violently ill whenever he thought of the orange head lying in a hospital room in a coma. It had haunted him, making eating and sleeping impossible. Hell, it still did.
He was a fucking wreck and he knew it, but there was nothing he could do about it. He was well and truly miserable without Ichigo beside him, laughing and talking. He wanted to hold him. Touch him. Kiss him. Fuck, he just wanted to hear his voice; see his beautiful brown eyes open again and give him that look that turned his bones to melted butter.
Grimmjow hung his head dejectedly at the closed door of Ichigo's hospital room. He hated seeing the fiesty orange head like this, but he hated not seeing him at all, even more. It was the reason he'd finally given in and come to visit him. From that day on, he'd come everyday, sitting with Ichigo and talking to him as if he were awake to hear his every word.
Sometimes it was easier to believe that his boyfriend was only sleeping.
Grimmjow gently pushed the room door open and peeked around it. Hirako and Stark were seated beside Ichigo's bed, talking in hushed tones. He stepped inside the room, catching their attention and nodded. He hadn't felt the urge to talk to anyone lately, so he never did. The most he would say was "what's up". He didn't know why, he just knew he didn't feel like speaking to anyone other than Ichigo, even though the younger man couldn't speak back to him.
"Hey, Grimm," Stark greeted, knowing he probably wouldn't get a response.
"Hey," Hirako added, his eyes holding a forlorn glint.
Grimmjow merely nodded again and waited at the door for Hirako and Stark to say their goodbyes. Once they had and left the room, closing the door behind themselves, he slowly approached Ichigo's bed and glanced down at him.
His boyfriend's normally flawless, healthy-looking skin was pale, his bright orange hair had grown a little, but also lost its glow and luster, and he'd lost some weight. Grimmjow lowered the bedrail and sat beside Ichigo, reaching down to hold the hand that didn't have the IV running from it. He leaned over and kissed Ichigo's lips, his heart pounding and breath hitching when there was the usual no response. He straightened his back and rubbed his thumb across the knuckles of Ichigo's hand that he held, fighting the prickling behind his eyes.
"Hey, Ichi," he croaked, "I got ya some more flowers. Thought they'd brighten up your room a bit." Grimmjow moved to place the glass vase on the wooden stand beside Ichigo's bed before returning to his spot. "Pop says 'hi'. He's been pretty busy at the club, since I don't really go that much anymore." He paused and looked around the small hospital room, noting the shut blinds and the overall depressing atmosphere. "I, uh, I changed the color of your room like ya've been wantin'. Light-blue and black, your favorite colors."
Grimmjow bit his bottom lip and recaptured Ichigo's hand. As usual, his emotions were threatening to overwhelm him, but he fought through them. "I got a cold, so I haven't been eatin' much. I know that would piss ya off, but I'm tryin'. Um," his bottom lip betrayed him and trembled slightly, "Ichi, I miss you. I don't like seein' ya here like this. Ya-ya gotta wake up, yeah? I know you're probably tired and all, but...I wanna see your smile again. 'Sides, I've got somethin' to tell ya. Somethin' I shoulda told ya a long time ago."
Grimmjow paused for breath, eyes locked on Ichigo's face. He knew his boyfriend wouldnt respond, but he wished he would. He wished Ichigo would just open his eyes and give him a smart remark, or tease him, or hell, even curse him out the way he would when Grimmjow would try to wake him up in the morning.
"I hope you can hear me, Ichi," he said softly before easing off the bed and into the faux leather chair beside it. He dragged the chair closer and grasped Ichigo's hand again.
Minutes turned into hours as Grimmjow kept a constant vigil next to Ichigo. He watched his boyfriend's face for any sign of movement that would indicate Ichigo returning to consciousness.
Nothing.
As usual.
The room door opened slowly and a nurse peeked her head around the edge, "Grimmjow, visiting hours are over, now," she whispered gently.
He sighed and nodded. All of the nurses knew him by now, so there were never any problems with him staying a few minutes over the limit. The nurse slipped from the room, closing the door again as he rose to his feet. Grimmjow leaned over and kissed Ichigo again, a piece of him dying, as usual, when his kiss wasn't returned.
"I'll see ya tomorrow, Ichi," he stated softly and headed for the door. Once he reached it and was about to exit, he turned back to glance at his boyfriend one more time, "I love you."
And he was gone.
- 19
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- 21
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Underneath It All