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The Heart in My Hand	By : chayron Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 10028 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. It belongs to its respective owners. This fan fiction is not a commercial project, and I am not making any money from writing it.

Chapter List
- 1-Part 1
- 2-Part 2
- 3-Part 3
- 4-Part 4
- 5-Part 5
- 6-Part 6
- 7-Part 7
- 8-Part 8
- 9-Part 9
- 10-Part 10
- 11-Part 11
- 12-Part 12
- 13-Part 13
- 14-Part 14
- 15-Part 15
- 16-Part 16
- 17-Part 17
- 18-Part 18
- 19-Part 19
- 20-Part 20
- 21-Part 21
- 22-Part 22
- 23-Part 23
- 24-Part 24
- 25-Part 25
- 26-Part 26
- 27-Part 27
- 1
- 2
- 3
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach – it belongs to its respective owners. This fan fiction is not a commercial project, and I am not making any money from writing it.
Warnings:
1. Yaoi (male x male). Ulquiorra x Ichigo and vice versa. Other pairings?
2. Ichigo – almost 19 years old; Ulquiorra – probably a few hundred as a Hollow and about a decade or so as an Arrancar?
3. Post anime (haven’t read the manga).
4. Alternate Universe.
5. I’m not a native speaker, thus expect various language oddities.
6. I’m not very familiar with all the details in the anime, and I am also new to Bleach fandom, so I will be straying away from the canon quite frequently. I do my research but Bleach is a vast universe that is not so easy to grasp. I must admit, though, that there are also things in the anime that don’t make sense to me and I take the liberty of recreating certain parts of this universe as I see fit.
The Heart in My Hand
by chayron (lttomb@yahoo.com), beta-read by Ash and Athena
Part 2
Ichigo couldn’t believe he was going through the Dangai for the third time today. He had actually gotten good at handling it, though. That is, if one ignored his torn clothing and bleeding right shoulder. They should issue him one of those Hell Butterflies so that he could move freely between the Human World and Soul Society – after all, he was almost a full-fledged Shinigami. On the other hand, this was probably why they didn’t – here he was lugging around probably the most powerful Arrancar there was. Ahh… He didn’t even want to think what would happen if someone got wind of this. His days as a Shinigami Substitute would be over. But really, he didn’t want to think about it.
Ichigo glared at Kisuke’s back. Ahead of him, the man was running through the dark tunnel swiftly, effortlessly avoiding traps in his way. It was easy for him to do so since he wasn’t carrying Ulquiorra, who would give Ichigo a mean look every time he was given a jolt when the younger man had to jump sideways or forward. Ichigo thought that it wouldn’t have been so bad if Ulquiorra had stayed unconscious or, at least, asleep.
When they jumped out of the Dangai and into the Human World, it was a moonless night. Karakura Town was already asleep. Ichigo guessed that it was past midnight, maybe one or two o’clock in the morning.
“I know you’re only doing this because you’re curious about what Mayuri was up to,” Ichigo said when they finally entered Urahara Shop.
Kisuke stopped in the doorway and turned around. “Oh, my. I’ve been found out,” he chuckled, covering his mouth with his white fan.
“Wasn’t that hard,” Ichigo grunted out. “And you can stop playing innocent with that fan of yours, it’s pretty cold already.”
Kisuke closed the fan with a snap and moved forward through the door. “Aren’t we bitchy today?”
“I’ve been dragging him around for half a day. He’s not exactly weightless or entertaining. I’m entitled to be a little bitchy.”
“Well, I suppose,” Kisuke said, groping around the wall next to the door for a switch. The light hit their eyes, making them blink.
“Who’s there?”
Ichigo turned to see Jinta appear from the second floor. At the sight of Kisuke and Ichigo, he lowered his huge kanabo.
“Ah, it’s you,” he said, already turning around, climbing back up.
Ichigo watched Jinta disappear upstairs. Had he just ignored the Arrancar in his arms? Or was he half-asleep and hadn’t noticed? Slim chance.
Grabbing this and that into his hands on his way, Kisuke led Ichigo to the back of the shop. “Here, put him on the sofa until I get everything ready. There’s a medical kit over there,” he pointed. “Tend to your shoulder.”
Trying not to aggravate his body more than necessary, Ichigo lowered the Arrancar onto the sofa and saw Ulquiorra nod off almost as soon as he had been propped against the backrest. Ichigo grabbed the kit and sat down on the sofa next to the drowsing Arrancar.
“Shouldn’t we feed him?” Ichigo asked, opening the kit and looking through its contents, “Didn’t you say that was the root of the problem?”
“Well, yeah,” Kisuke answered while brushing piles of paper off a strange device further in the room. “But not before I get him through this.”
Ichigo gave the apparatus a more attentive look. It was a large, oblong object, mostly metallic. There were rows of buttons on its left side and a large screen attached to it. He rather hoped it was a sophisticated mincing machine. That way his problems would be over, and after he was done with Ulquiorra, he could run Kisuke through it. Perfect.
Huffing, Ichigo ripped the rest of the sleeve above his right shoulder. The cut had already stopped bleeding; all that was left was to disinfect the sides of the wound and slap a strip of plaster on it. He was done at nearly the same time that Kisuke switched his device on. A humming sound filled the room.
“Put him here,” Kisuke said, pressing one of the buttons on the machine, making an oblong tray-like thing slide out from the inside of it. It rolled out on small wheels for about two meters before stopping.
A little unsure, Ichigo gave the sleeping Ulquiorra a look. There was no way around this, though, and, half-expecting another Cero to blow up in his face, he tapped the Arrancar on his shoulder. Confused bleary eyes blinked open to stare at him. Ichigo pointed at the device. Ulquiorra turned his head to follow his finger and a frown set on his face.
“What is that?”
Ichigo shrugged. “Honestly? I don’t know.”
“You’re supposed to convince him, not the opposite,” Kisuke pointed out. “Make him cooperate.”
“Well, what does it do?” Ichigo asked him.
“Hmm… Well, generally speaking, it will map out his internal body, making it easier to discern most problems.”
Ichigo turned back to Ulquiorra. For a moment, he was tempted to tell him that it was a mincing machine. He scolded himself mentally. He was definitely going to skip lectures tomorrow and catch some quality sleep instead.
“Umm…” Ichigo hummed, thinking how to rephrase Kisuke’s words in a more compact manner. Finally, he gave up, pointed at the apparatus again and offered Ulquiorra the brightest smile he was able to muster. “It’s safe.”
“Utter dri-”
“It is really, really safe,” Ichigo repeated, cutting the Arrancar off. He was grinning so brightly now that his cheeks were starting to hurt.
“Stop grinning,” Ulquiorra told him. “What does it do?”
Ichigo gave him a helpless look. Then an idea occurred to him, and he wondered why he hadn’t thought of it earlier. He shot off the sofa and grabbed one of the loose paper sheets off the floor. He dug around for a pen and finally found one near the door.
“Here,” he said, writing quickly. Ulquiorra’s green eyes were following the movement of his pen. Soon Ichigo was done and looked at the other man expectantly. He grew confused at the expression on Ulquiorra’s face. The Arrancar was turning his head this way and that, then finally took the paper and lifted it in front of him. Blinking, he lifted it higher, then almost above his head.
“I think there’s something off with his vision as well,” Kisuke finally said.
Ichigo lowered Ulquiorra’s hand with the paper to make him concentrate on his face again. “Can you understand it?”
“Yes, but it is all smudgy. Make bigger kanji next time.”
“Fine, now get over there,” Ichigo said, standing up. He held his hand out. Ulquiorra stared at it as if it were a snake, but took it. Ichigo helped him to the machine. He was about to lift the shorter man onto the tray-like thing when Kisuke cleared his throat.
“What now?” Ichigo asked.
“He needs to undress before climbing onto it.”
Ichigo huffed. “Say these things in advance.”
Kisuke made an abrupt motion with his hand to catch Ulquiorra’s attention. “It’ll take about ten minutes,” he said slowly, showing all ten fingers. The Arrancar offered him a mistrustful glare. Kisuke smiled politely; at least it appeared that Ulquiorra understood him.
To Ichigo’s relief, once informed, Ulquiorra offered no word of protest, letting the robe be undone then shrugging it off his shoulders. Ichigo gathered it in his left hand and passed on to Kisuke. Both of them already had the impression that the Arrancar wasn’t shy.
Once Ulquiorra was on the tray, it slid back into the apparatus. Kisuke pushed a few more buttons, making the machine whir more loudly and light up in a soft blue color. After he ascertained himself that everything was fully automatic, Kisuke turned to Ichigo, who was inspecting the machine.
“How come he trusts you so much?” he voiced the question that had been bothering him from the very beginning.
Ichigo averted his eyes from the softly vibrating machine to Kisuke. “Umm…” he hummed, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. “I wouldn’t exactly say that…”
Kisuke’s eyebrows rose at that and he grunted. “You told me that you were the one who killed him. Yet he does everything you tell him to. It doesn’t make any sense.”
Wondering how to explain it, Ichigo scratched his head again. Even though he had known in advance that Ulquiorra would not attack him, he didn’t quite understand himself.
“Well…” he started slowly, “during our last battle we reached some sort of conclusion, some sort of…understanding, camaraderie, maybe? Not exactly. I can’t really explain it. But he does understand that if I wanted him dead, he would be dead so...” not finishing, Ichigo shrugged.
Kisuke opened his fan and started fanning himself absentmindedly. He knew there was more to the story, but he wasn’t going to push it. Sooner or later, Ichigo or Ulquiorra would tell it all. It went both ways, though: Ulquiorra trusted Ichigo, but Ichigo trusted him, too. To a certain extent, of course. After all, Ulquiorra was still a Hollow.
“You do realize that once he’s recovered, he’ll be able to use Garganta at any time, right?” Kisuke asked.
“But isn’t that okay?”
“Well, yes, but Hueco Mundo is the first place where Mayuri will be looking for him.”
Ichigo thought for a moment. He nodded. “That’s true, but, you know, if he regains his strength… I think he’ll be more powerful than Mayuri, or any other captain for that matter.”
Kisuke’s eyes widened and he looked at Ichigo from above the fan in disbelief. “Are you serious?”
“Absolutely.”
Rubbing his chin with the fan, Kisuke turned to stare at the machine, the insides of which held the Arrancar. And yet here he was, malnourished, hardly walking, an easy target for anyone. Laughable. It had just been a sheer stroke of luck that he had met Kurosaki.
Five minutes later, when the machine had stopped humming, Kisuke rose from the sofa. Gathering the Shinigami robe in his hands with a soft sigh, Ichigo followed him to the apparatus. In a moment it opened to reveal a peacefully asleep Arrancar. Ichigo draped the robe over his pale body, starting him out of his sleep.
“That’s all for today,” Kisuke said, pushing a few keys on the side of the machine, the screen blinking a few times. The slot underneath the screen started spewing out papers. He grabbed the two first, letting the rest of them pile up on the floor.
“I’ll analyze the data and will be able to tell more tomorrow,” he said, moving in the direction of the door.
Ichigo had helped Ulquiorra off and now was fixing the robe for him. Supporting the swaying Arrancar, he followed Kisuke out of the room and to the kitchen.
“I have to say, this is certainly interesting,” Kisuke muttered under his breath. He was half-examining one of the papers in his hand and half-searching for something in one of the cupboards. “Seriously, that Mayuri…” Finally retrieving a teacup from the cupboard, he started walking out and Ichigo followed him back into the room that contained the machine, which was still spewing out papers. Kisuke took a few more of them and marched into the living room. He was scrutinizing the documents before he realized that he had forgotten to put some water to boil and returned to the kitchen.
After having followed the man to and fro in the house, at some point, Ichigo found himself outside Urahara Shop, the door sliding shut right in front of his perplexed face, nearly taking his nose off. Ichigo stared at the door. He should have expected this. He turned his head to his right to meet Ulquiorra’s questioning eyes. They stared at each other then, in unison, turned their heads back to give the door accusing looks.
“You’ve got to be kidding me…” Ichigo groaned. “You expect me to keep him at my place? My dad will go mental! What about my sisters?”
The door opened a fraction. “Thank you for your patronage.” The door slid open a little bit more and a bundle appeared. “Feed him this. Not much at first. This should last for a few days. Drop by tomorrow in the afternoon.” With that, a hand lowered the bundle onto the ground. The door closed shut again and a ringing silence settled in. A few moments later, the light in the porch went out and they were left standing in the dark. Ichigo frowned. A dog howled somewhere in the distance.
Ichigo felt Ulquiorra shift, reaching out for the dark shape next to the door. Nearly falling over, he grasped the bundle by the ends of the tied rope above and lifted it.
“What is this?”
It was too dark for him to read Ichigo’s lips and the younger man didn’t even try explaining. Defeated, Ichigo turned away from the door. His arms were still numb from carrying Ulquiorra around all day but there was no way around this. He made sure that the Arrancar kept good hold on the bundle before he hefted him into his arms again and flash-stepped in the direction of his home.
The window of his room had been left open and Ichigo landed on the windowsill. He brushed the curtain aside and carefully climbed onto the bed. He was about to step down to the floor when something shifted under the covers and a horrendous screech filled the room.
“You’re stepping on me! That hurts! Ow, ow! Get off, get off!”
“Shhh, you moron!” Ichigo hissed. “Do you want to wake everyone up?” He jumped off the bed, landing on his feet as softly as possible. Still holding Ulquiorra by his shoulders, he lowered his feet to the ground. The Arrancar swayed, but managed to keep himself upright. The red-head moved towards the light switch.
“But it hurt! And why are you here? I didn’t expect you to be back till Saturday! And I’m going on a date with Orihime the day after tomorrow, so don’t you think you can just take your body back!”
Ichigo groaned. “Shut up for once. You can go on your stupid date, just shut up!”
Mistrustfully, Kon muttered something under his breath then his mood suddenly brightened at the feel of an unfamiliar energy. “You brought someone with you! Is she hot?”
“Yeah, totally,” Ichigo said, annoyed. He reached out to switch on the lights, “take a look.”
All of them blinked when the bright light hit their eyes. Still sitting in the bed, Kon rubbed at his eyes and took a very careful look at the person next to Ichigo.
“Why’s there a horn on his head?” Kon asked, at the same time imitating the green lines under Ulquiorra’s eyes on his own cheeks. “The hell? Did you just bring an Arrancar here?”
“Yeah,” Ichigo confirmed with a nod. “It’s a long story,” he added when Kon gave him a look that was clearly indicating that the Modified Soul believed he had gone mad. “Don’t tell anyone about him.” He pointed at Kon. “This is Kon. And this is Ulquiorra.”
The Arrancar’s sleepy eyes set on Kon without much interest. “Is it a Modified Soul inside?”
Ichigo nodded. He motioned for Kon to get out of the bed. His body gave him a displeased look but climbed out of it.
“He can’t hear anything,” Ichigo informed Kon, seating the Arrancar on the bed. “And, as you can see, isn’t in the best shape.”
“Ah, so you’re going to nurse him back to health so he can kill us all,” Kon summed up.
Ichigo felt a headache forming. “Can you leave it alone for now? I’m tired, I’m hungry, and I’m not in the mood to argue right now. I’ll explain everything tomorrow.”
Kon scowled, but stayed quiet. He watched Ichigo open the package that the Arrancar had been holding earlier. He saw the red-head give the contents a confused look, and, curious, he approached them. There was food inside: sandwiches, a few steaks, baked potatoes, and a bottle of water. Ichigo raised his head to stare at the quiet Arrancar and, even though it didn’t seem possible, appeared to be even more confused than before.
“How in the world is he supposed to eat any of this?” Ichigo muttered. “Won’t everything just fall out of the hole in his chest? Do we have any duct tape?”
Dumbstruck, Kon stared at him for a few seconds then his face turned into one huge grin. “Bottom drawer.” Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all! He watched Ichigo put the box on the desk and start rummaging through the lowest drawer. Meanwhile, the Arrancar’s eyes stayed glued to the box with food. Kon was waiting for him to attack it.
Nonplused, Ulquiorra blinked at the unrolled duct tape in Ichigo’s hands. “What are you going to do with that?”
Ichigo motioned at the hole in his chest, then at the box on the desk. Ulquiorra’s eyebrows rose.
“You haven’t met Hollows before?” he wondered.
“Well, of course I have! I’ve just never fed one.” Ichigo waved the tape in the air, eager to get the task done.
Ulquiorra wondered shortly whether he should tell Ichigo that he was being an idiot, but decided that both of them were too tired to care. The sooner they finished this, the sooner he could eat.
ooOoOoOoo
Ichigo blinked at the sunlight coming through the gap between the curtains. With a sigh, he rolled to his side and fell asleep again.
He woke up again two hours later. A check on his wristwatch informed him that it was four in the afternoon. His eyes widening in alarm, he sat up in his futon, and cast a quick glance at the bed. It was empty. He was alone in his room, not even Kon present. He scanned the house for familiar energy sources and was quickly rewarded with Ulquiorra’s.
Ichigo rolled out of the futon and dressed hurriedly. He jogged downstairs, where he checked the clinic and the study. Finding no one there, he proceeded to the kitchen. Ulquiorra was sitting at the table, facing the door. His eyes fixed on Ichigo as soon as he had entered. For a few seconds, Ichigo could only stare at him in astonishment. The Shinigami robe was gone, as was gone the duct tape from Ulquiorra’s chest. He was wearing his usual Arrancar clothes: a white jacket, black sash and a white hakama. Then Ichigo’s eyes traveled down, to the legs of the table where, against one of them, a greenish Zanpakuto was propped.
“You’re well,” Ichigo finally managed.
Ulquiorra turned his head a little, and Ichigo realized that he was still reading his lips.
“Yes, I am much better,” the Arrancar said. He watched the red-head walk into the kitchen. Ichigo appeared somewhat uncertain, cautious. “Does that surprise you?”
“A little,” Ichigo admitted. The box Kisuke had given them was on the table in front of Ulquiorra. It was almost empty, only one sandwich left. It didn’t look any worse than it had been when they got the box yesterday – it still seemed fresh.
Ulquiorra didn’t say anything to that, his incredibly green eyes studying Ichigo instead. The red-head shifted under his gaze and decided he wouldn’t mind a cup of tea. He went to check the kettle, poured some water into it and set it to boil. He opened the fridge to check the contents and found a wrapped up plate with a note from Yuzu. He pulled it out and set it to microwave.
“Where is everyone?” Ichigo asked, still mostly in the fridge, looking for more food. “Ah,” he said, remembering Ulquiorra couldn’t hear him. He pulled away from the fridge to look at the Arrancar. “Wh-” the rest of the words stuck in his throat as he found himself staring at the emerald eyes right in front of him. His hand was still raised in the air, frozen in an illustrating motion.
“So this is your Human body?” Ulquiorra drawled, his fingers touching Ichigo’s shoulder with interest.
“Where’s Kon?” Ichigo asked, his apprehension growing tenfold. Tentatively, he pushed at the Arrancar blocking his way, but the pale body didn’t even budge. He suddenly found himself effectively trapped between the sideboard and the wall. The kettle started whistling, a low keening sound filling the kitchen.
“You mean that annoying plushy thing?”
“What did you do to him?” Ichigo demanded, now shoving at the Arrancar’s chest forcefully to try and make him retreat. He grunted as his wrist was caught easily by a pale hand. The thin fingers around his wrist closed with crushing force. The red-head started at a loud ping emitted by the microwave, indicating that his food was done. He tried to free his hand but the Arrancar didn’t let go.
“I bet now you are regretting having returned to your body,” Ulquiorra remarked drily.
Frantically, Ichigo’s eyes scanned the kitchen, but he couldn’t see Kon anywhere. His Substitute Shinigami Badge was on the second floor. There was a knife rack on the cabinet next to him but it was absolutely useless against a Hollow. He struggled again, trying to free himself, kicked out but Ulquiorra didn’t even take heed of his attempts.
“Where are my sisters?” Ichigo hissed.
The Arrancar offered him an apathetic look. He lifted Ichigo’s arm, noting how the red-head’s eyes were growing wider in alarm. Then, with his left hand, Ichigo tried to pull out Ulquiorra’s Zanpakuto from under his sash. The younger man grunted in pain when Ulquiorra’s fingers closed around his other wrist. The Arrancar’s green eyes kept examining his face then he suddenly freed Ichigo’s hands and moved out of the way.
Massaging his reddened wrists, Ichigo watched the other man, not daring to move. Ulquiorra turned around and returned to sit at the table. He reached into the box to retrieve the last sandwich. As his heart hammered in his throat, Ichigo watched him eat.
“It is made of spirit particles,” Ulquiorra said. “As soon as I swallow, it dissolves and is absorbed into my body. It is only similar to Human food in appearance. You worried needlessly.”
“Where’s Kon?”
“It was being very noisy, so I put it into the blue box in the bathroom.”
“My sisters?”
“Probably at school.”
Ichigo turned to the kettle, switched it off and finally ended the low complaining noise. Then he took out the plate from the microwave and lowered it on the cabinet. Half-expecting the Arrancar to appear next to him again, he turned around. His hands were still trembling lightly and he rested them on the sideboard top. He lowered his head and willed his shoulders to relax. He had been crazy to have brought the Arrancar home.
“Not eating?”
Ichigo raised his head to glare at him. “I’ve lost my appetite.”
Nothing changed on Ulquiorra’s face and Ichigo thought that he probably hadn’t understood him. Cursing under his breath, the red-head pushed away from the sideboard and went to the bathroom to search for Kon. At once, his attention was drawn to the blue laundry box in the corner. It was shaking and vibrating violently. Freeing the lid, Ichigo peeled the duct tape off and opened it. Kon shot out of it immediately. As soon as he landed on the tiles, one of his legs pointed at his mouth indignantly. Ichigo peeled the tape off his mouth and instantly regretted as curses and complaints filled the bathroom.
“Untie me!” Kon demanded, turning around, showing the red-head his tied paws.
Ichigo removed the tape and reached out for the adornment on Kon’s head but the Modified Soul shot out of the bathroom and galloped toward the kitchen. Ichigo ran after him.
“How dare you do that to me!” Kon shouted at the Arrancar. “Do you even know how much Ichigo’s socks stink? And this body is so fragile!” He pointed his stuffed paw at an old patch on his chest. “It hurt like a bitch! Look at how you damaged the fabric! Where is this thread coming from? Look! The cotton is falling out!”
“You have women’s underwear on your head,” Ulquiorra informed him helpfully.
With an enraged roar, Kon charged at the Arrancar. Ichigo stepped forward, trying to catch him but the Modified Soul was already airborne. Then everything happened so fast that Ichigo froze on the spot: one moment Kon was flying at Ulquiorra then he was snatched out of the air and found himself sailing through the open kitchen window. Ulquiorra closed the window before Kon could hit the asphalt outside and returned to the table to finish his sandwich.
Ichigo heaved a groan of despair and went back to the bathroom to relieve himself of a few days’ worth stress. After that, he returned to the kitchen, made himself some tea, grabbed the now cold plate and, completely ignoring Kon’s threats and demands in the garden, seated himself in front of Ulquiorra.
TBC
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The Heart in My Hand