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Convincing Kisuke	By : wolfkin59 Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 3342 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor do I make money from this story. It's merely an idea that appealed to me.

Chapter List
- 1-Convincing Kisuke
- 2-Chapter Two
- 1
- 2
Title: Convincing Kisuke
Author: Cuzosu
Rating: M
Summary: After the Winter War, Urahara Kisuke's exile is revoked. Ukitake Jûshirô wants to convince him to come back to Seireitei and take up the mantle of captain again, but Unohana says he can't go to the living world alone. Kyoraku Shunsui is the man best suited to help Ukitake and aid in talking Urahara around, so Jûshirô shows up in Squad Eight's headquarters with a smile and sound reasoning and absconds with his old friend. But Urahara Kisuke is a sly and stubborn man, and words alone aren't going to change the blond's mind. It's time for Shunsui and Jûshirô to show just how effective they are as a team...
A/N: I wrote part of this during the time I was writing the second chapter of A Cupful of Heartache, one of my other Bleach yaoi stories, because my humor had to go somewhere and because writing pissed off Kisuke in one story (Heartache) made the Kisuke in the other (CK, here) want to be pissed off and have to be pushed into a better mood. And then my sense of humor asserted itself. Therefore this chapter is probably going to come across as crack-ish. I promise I don't do drugs, nor was I drinking while writing this; it's just my humor making itself known. (I have an odd and sometimes extreme sense of humor, so if I've taken things too far, I'm sorry at the moment but I know that sooner or later, in this fic or another, I'll do it again. Hopefully you'll love me in spite of - or if I'm lucky, because of - it.)

Chapter Two:
Dinner that night was a strange affair, with Kisuke pointedly avoiding them. Oh, Tessai and the children nattered on about anything and everything, but it just wasn't the same. And then Yoruichi arrived.
She wandered in as a cat and didn't even deign to notice them as she sauntered into her room to change and dress. When she came back, that sharp gaze swept the room and one elegant eyebrow lifted, her gold eyes glinting with annoyed humor. "So what did you do to piss Kisuke off?" she asked them bluntly.
"What makes you think he's pissed off, Yoru-chan?"
Yoruichi graced him with a scathing, subtle sneer. "Don't insult my intelligence, please. Kisuke always eats out here when we have company, unless someone has pissed him off enough that he'd rather be rude and spend extra time in his lab." Her display of temper would have been outrageous, but both captains knew she was just looking out for her best friend and former subordinate.
Jûshirô winced and held up his hands in a conciliatory gesture. When her eyes narrowed, he knew she wasn't going to calm down unless they came up with a reason she'd accept. "Ah, sorry about that, Yoruichi. How were we to know he'd get that mad just because we asked him to rejoin the Gotei again?"
Those gold eyes pinned him in place. "In other words, you were trying to use him. Again."
"No!" Aghast, the words leapt from his mouth without thought. "I just thought - well, he didn't deserve to be exiled any more than the Vizards did, and since only Kensei has so far accepted...there's nothing wrong with trying to get him to come back, is there?"
Kyôraku frowned slightly and added, "He was a fun drinking buddy, too, and that mind keeps everyone on their toes. I enjoy having him around - and even the Captain-Commander had no objections to allowing him back."
The woman glared at him - and at Jûshirô - one hand on her hip. "...fine. But I suggest you try not to get him riled again while you're here. He might be nice enough to let you off with words of warning, but that doesn't mean everyone here will do the same."
Translation: Next time you piss him off this badly, you get to find a way to make him eat a meal.
As she stalked off with her own dinner and an extra portion besides - presumably to pester Kisuke herself - Jinta snickered. "Man, talk about putting your foot in your mouth!" he laughed. "First with Urahara-san, and then again with her!" Apparently this struck him as absolutely hilarious. Beside him, Ururu just sighed.
Tessai repressed the urge to roll his eyes. Am I the only adult in this place?

Talking the obstreperous Urahara into personally showing them to the Vizards was not the most difficult thing they'd ever done...but only by a small margin. Either he was being stubborn for his own mysterious amusement - not an entirely foreign notion, for the blond - or pushing him the night before had quite thoroughly put his hackles up. It had taken Shunsui apologizing with a gift (bribe) of high quality sake and Jûshirô atoning with the promise of a future favor before Kisuke had finally agreed to lead them himself.
His version of leading them, however, had Shunsui smiling and Jûshirô fighting to keep polite, because apparently he'd decided to take them on a tour first. A long one.
While this would not normally pose a problem for captains as adaptable as these two, Ukitake knew they were on a time limit. Shunsui, of course, didn't much care, and would do things in his own time regardless, but then he never had been one for rules.
They spent time at a cafe the Urahara liked, then a store he recommended for buying clothes to fit in while in the Living World and then nothing would do but catching them up on the musical trends. Finally, Jûshirô couldn't bite his tongue any longer.
"Might I ask why you seem to be deliberately delaying us?" There was bite lurking just behind his smile.
Kisuke was taking a breath and about to respond when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He spun around, flipped his fan open, and grinned broadly. "Ah, Shinji-san! I was just getting them caught up on music!"
Hirako Shinji's eyes narrowed. This was Kisuke-code for They wanted me to take them to you, because Kisuke wasn't going to betray their hiding place if they didn't want him to. He'd spent too many years protecting them. "I see," he said, playing along with a smile. "Anything they seem to like? Or should I recommend something?" As if Kisuke hadn't known he was going to be here sometime today.
Shunsui, ever observant behind his facades, smiled easily. He knew exactly what they were doing, but in order to keep the peace, he'd play along as well. "I've got my eye on a few, probably see if Nanao-chan or Rukia-chan will get them for me later. We were sent here, of course; Yama-jii wouldn't let two captains go at once unless it was a mission."
Shinji's eyes narrowed again, but his tone was only slightly on edge as he asked, "So it takes two captains to find us Vizards? I'm flattered. What else are you supposed to do?" Kisuke doesn't seem on edge, so he wasn't blackmailed into finding us, so they don't seem to be resorting to desperate measures...
"No need to be on edge," laughed Shunsui. "We're not both here for you! I'm here because," he jerked a thumb over his shoulder in his best friend's direction, "his healer said he couldn't go out without a leash -"
"Shunsui!" Jûshirô was aghast, tone scandalized.
He laughed again, flicking a teasing glance at his old friend. "I'm his choice of companion for this trip, though I'd bet Retsu-san was counting on that when she said he had to have help." Then he glanced at the blond. "Though I've since been stuck playing peacemaker when Jû gets too eager."
The Urahara smirked. "And strangely you made a better peacemaker than Ukitake-san usually does," he agreed mildly.
Shinji blinked. He did? Snickering at the notion, the ex-captain watched the other white-haired man.
As Shunsui chuckled, Jûshirô didn't quite know what to make of the comment. It could have been rude, though the tone had been teasing so it probably wasn't meant that way. But the real problem he was having with the words was that Urahara generally was either straightforward...or used sleight of hand and double meanings. So which was it this time? Were the words just meant to tease? Or was he hinting that Shunsui might have to play peacemaker again?

Finally rid of their presence, Kisuke thought in relief. They had just left the music store and were about to go their separate ways.
Shinji turned and was about to start walking, knowing that even if they fell behind, they would find him again. After all, he was no longer hiding his reiatsu. And then...maybe he was bored and his imagination was playing tricks on him, but...was there some strange vibe bouncing between Kisuke, Shunsui, and Jûshirô? He decided to wait and keep paying attention, leaning casually against the wall, because sometimes the most bizarre things happened when Kisuke was involved. Like the Vizards' survival, for instance. And, for that matter, Aizen's capture. So he would watch and see. If there really was some strange vibe, life was about to get really, really entertaining.
As Kisuke turned to leave, fan snapped shut and slipped into his sleeve, the brunette reached over and snagged him by the wrist.
Oh, the look! Shinji laughed inwardly. I thought he was gonna get frostbite! But outwardly he was 'distracted' by something in the distance, a smile playing about the corners of his mouth.
Shunsui grinned charismatically. "Come with us," he invited the blond.
There was a pause, though everyone knew he was debating the best way to decline.
"Your charm doesn't work on me," Kisuke said wryly.
"I know," agreed Shunsui, grin widening. "That's why I'm bribing you."
Jûshirô snorted - and Shinji was thankful, because it covered his own and hid the fact that he was eavesdropping shamelessly.
What a sad, sad day for this world, was the only thing Hirako Shinji could think, because the logical minded scientist actually appeared interested. But the smile he was trying to hide broadened into a smirk.
"With what?" he queried, turning to face the brunette once more.
It had been a long, long time since anyone had managed to so completely astound Shinji, but Shunsui's next words did the trick.
"Three bottles of sake and a massage from yours truly."
The sound of Ukitake's palm hitting his face was buried under a mountain of shock - and awe. Did he really just...? Holy shit, that took balls...!
"Shunsui!" the blond chided him, laughing at the same time. "Are you propositioning me?"
Shinji didn't even have to hear the response; the look on Shunsui's face said it all.
"Who do you take me for?" he retorted. "Ichigo? Of course I am!" And he waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
Ukitake groaned in despair. Great, now there's two of them, egging each other on to greater heights...
"I'll accept the sake," countered the blond with a slight smile. "But you'll have to do better than that if you want to seduce me."
Off to the side, Shinji all but vibrated with the need to go share this news. So he turned, face once more under control, and told Kisuke, "I'm tired of waiting; you can bring them yourself."
Even as the blond raised an eyebrow Shinji was gone. But somehow he couldn't shake the feeling...that damned Urahara already knows what I'm going to do, doesn't he? And he let me go ahead anyway. Just what the hell is he planning?

They walked into the warehouse just in time to hear Shinji saying, "So, bets, anyone?"
Hiyori scoffed. "Why the hell would you want to bet when he's the one you're betting over? Nothing goes as planned when he's involved. Not for his allies, and perhaps especially for his enemies. And this will probably -"
She was cut off by Lisa, who smacked a hand onto the table and stated, "Usual stakes, and I give it a month. He's stubborn." She sat back and returned to her book, spurring the others into sudden decision.
Hachi sighed. "How inconsiderate we are, betting on a man who has risked himself to help us..." He lifted his head and met Shinji's expectant gaze. "Same, and three months, because he's stubborn and Yoruichi is bound to interfere."
Eventually everyone but Hiyori had placed their bets - ranging everywhere from one month to five hundred years, since the subjects of their gambling lived in different worlds. But Shinji was determined that all present Vizards be involved.
"Well, Hiyori? I can't place my bet until you place yours."
Growling something about insistent, arrogant bastards, she glared at him and snarled, "The usual, and thirteen years."
Satisfied at last, the silver-haired man smiled. "And my bet is the usual, seven years."
"List mine as three days," said a voice from behind him.
As one, the Vizards spun to face the door - and the trio who'd just come through it. Jûshirô was still shutting the door, so no wonder they hadn't heard anyone come in. Shinji would've mentally kicked himself for not thinking about their imminent arrival, but Hiyori did it for him. And she was just about to light into him verbally, too, when the blond raised a brow and spoke again.
"Did you hear me?" he asked. "I'll bet, too. For whatever stakes you're using, on three days."
There was a merry, wicked look in his eyes that told Shinji he knew exactly what they were betting on...though it didn't explain whether he had plans for three days in the future, if he was guessing - or if he was just feeling ornery and wanted to get them going.
Shunsui had been too focused on propositioning Kisuke - and keeping a leery eye out for said blond's potential reactions - to realize at the time why Shinji'd really left, so he was a little lost now. But the opportunity was too fun to pass up. "Same stakes, five days," he said casually, smile flirting about his lips as he sat down with everyone else around the table.
Hiyori's eye twitched and she made a noise that sounded like erk. "Changed my mind," she grunted. "Same stakes, four days."
Hachi sighed softly. "I'll change my bet as well. Same stakes, two days." Tessai-san has said repeatedly that the one thing Urahara doesn't fully compensate for is the human element, emotion. Then he added, "And I'll add another bet for Tessai-san, since he's not here. Same stakes, six days."
"Well, if you're betting for Tessai, consider this for Yoruichi," grinned the blond scientist. "One day."
The other Vizards changed their votes as well, until finally only Shinji was left - and Kensei, who was absent. Jûshirô just watched, bemused. He was fairly sure Shunsui didn't even know what he was betting on.
"Right, then," said the silver-haired Vizard. "I'll change mine to fifteen days, for the same stakes."
Kyôraku chuckled. "Guess I'll bet for Kensei, since you're leaving him out. Say...seventeen days? And just because I want to see the look on his face if he wins...nineteen days for the old man."
Even as Ukitake scolded his friend for a comment he thought had been about him, Kisuke caught the brunette's gaze. He grinned behind his fan, eyes dancing with appreciative humor. It really would be amusing to see the look on the Captain-Commander's face upon being presented with prize winnings and then told that he'd won it by betting that it would be nineteen days before Kyôraku Shunsui and Urahara Kisuke got laid together.
Shunsui, having barely managed to explain to his oldest friend that the 'old man' he'd placed a bet for wasn't him, pulled a jug of sake from his sleeve. "While Jû talks to the former captains about the notion of returning, how 'bout the rest of us enjoy a drink?" As Urahara turned to leave, he snagged a handful of the man's robes. "That includes you."
A smile played about the blond's lips, but his eyes were a frozen wasteland. "Are you ordering me?" he asked softly, politely.
Shaking his head, the brunette denied the claim. "Nope. I'm not that stupid; none of us would like the results. No, I'm bribing you," he corrected with cheerful, carefully feigned nonchalance.
"Bribing?" drawled the blond. "With what, now?" he queried dubiously.
Heaving a sigh, Shunsui said, mock regretfully, "Well, since my wonderful presence isn't enough, I was thinking...four bottles of sake, the same quality as last time, and one of Jû's secrets."
Kisuke thought for a time on this. "Hm..." Then he shook his head, decisive and - to a degree - regretful. "I can't go for it, I'm afraid," he told the other man. "It's five bottles and two secrets or I'm gone."
On the sidelines, Ukitake was aghast. What the hell were they playing at? And why were they bartering his secrets?
Another heavy sigh, and then Shunsui grinned and nodded. "Deal. Now, let's drink and be merry!"
Knowing there was nothing he could do about his old friend, nor the blond man accompanying them, the white-haired man turned to Shinji and Rose. "Let's take this to a different room, or outside," he suggested. He flicked a glance toward the group setting cups before a cheerful Shunsui. "It looks like things are going to get loud here shortly."
Nodding, the two followed him outside, though Shinji couldn't resist making a sly comment. "Well, if they get loud it only means Yoruichi won."
Jû's only thought was, What does that mean? What were they betting on?

A/N: So, I've put up a poll on my profile on FFnet, same username (Cuzosu), so that y'all can opt for who you'd like to win the bet. ;) Or you can just tell me in a review; that works, too. Top two choices only, please.
The options are:
Kyôraku Shunsui
Urahara Kisuke
Yamamoto Genryûsai Shigekuni
Shihôin Yoruichi
Tsukabishi Tessai
Hirako Shinji
Ôtoribashi Rose
Aikawa Love
Yadômaru Lisa
Muguruma Kensei
Kuna Mashiro
Sarugaki Hiyori
Ushôda Hachigen, aka "Hachi"
Also, if you see any mistakes, please let me know. I don't always catch them, and I'm my own beta for these, though I have two wonderful people who pre-read and tell me what they think of scenes/plot. Caught myself earlier calling Lisa by Nanao's name, and felt absolutely dense. *bang head on wall here*
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Convincing Kisuke