Adult-FanFiction.org : Bleach

See Me	By : orchidlover Category: Bleach > Het - Male/Female Views: 5997 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Bleach is not mine. These are Tite Kubo’s characters and I’m just borrowing them purely for fun and entertainment purposes and I’m not making any money off this!

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
Pairing: Kyouraku Shunsui / Ise Nanao

Summary: Fallout after the Winter War. I always wondered why Nanao was the only fukutaicho not to be shown during the Winter War Arc with Aizen.

A/N: Thanks nanao, YoukaiLady and makochan9 for the encouraging reviews and yes, I’m going to continue (obviously, lol), there’s going to be 4 or 5 chapters in this story, just so you know :)

Chapter 2: Relapse

Shunsui was just about to launch into the First Division to ask Yama-ji what the fuck was going on when he run into Ukitake who had just come from the Fourth.

“Whoa, don’t go shunpoing like that, you’re still hurt.” His oldest friend said.

“What’s going on?” Ukitake instantly realized that something was going on with Shunsui.

“Nanao.” Shunsui just said, “She resigned as fukutaicho of the Eight and left me.”

Ukitake had to wait a moment for those words to make sense, not that he hadn’t known that Shunsui and Ise-san had been involved, he had been one of the very few who actually knew about their romantic involvement, and it hurt to keep it a secret because he so would have won that pot of bets it was uncanny how well he knew those two (or Shunsui).

And that was also the reason why he understood Ise-san’s leaving after he thought on it a few moments.

“That face. You don’t seem surprised.” Shunsui stated monotonously.

“Well, are you?” But Shunsui was still in denial.

“Yes actually I am and now I’m going to find out where the hell she is since I can’t even feel her anymore!” And with that Shunsui turned and shunpoed off to the First Division.

Ukitake just stared after him, shaking his head, “Oh, Shunsui.”

Ooo-ooO

Nanao was in her new set of rooms in the first district of the Rukongai, using her savings to pay for this nice little cottage for a few months until she knew what to do with herself.

She gazed round. Boxes littered the floor and she was sitting on the only furniture in the whole room, an old rickety chair. The room was barren, cold and stark. It was exactly like she felt. Although she had still had her fukutaicho quarters after Shunsui and her had started sleeping together, she stayed over at his more often than not and while never official, her things had pretty much all been moved into his amazing, cosy home, full of life and warmth and good memories. It was why she had wanted to meet him in the Eight and not at their – his home because she was weak and didn’t want the good memories tainted with their break-up.

She knew she might be overreacting but somehow it felt as if he had ripped something from her when he had left her behind that wouldn’t mend anymore. She had made the decision to get away while she still had some part of herself not lost in him. She should have never gotten involved with him in the first place, she thought for the millionth time. It had been a bad idea. She had been young, weak and so impressionable.

Nanao shook her head, catching the light on her new favourite friend, a bracelet made by the Twelfth for supressing one’s reiatsu. It was still in its developmental stages and it was somewhat draining on her reiatsu but for the advantage that he couldn’t find her – it was priceless. She had no illusions that he wouldn’t be able to locate her sooner rather than later because let’s face it, Seireitei was one big pot of gossip but she hoped that by the time he found her she would be more collected and put together, firmly entrenched in her new life and she would meet him with respect as the taicho that he was, not the lover he had been.

Ooo-ooO

Without the hubbub of the Eighth Nanao pretty much spent her whole time in the Great Spirit Library. Hiding in a dark corner in the very back with the Ancient Spirit History books, where no one ever ventured. It wouldn't do for someone who knew her to find her hiding. Not that she was hiding of course.

Ah, she longed for her favourite place in Shunsui's house, the big window with a window—seat that sometimes seemed as if it had been made entirely for her. She could alternately read some passages from her book and stare out the window into the courtyard with its varied animal and plant life.

She nearly started crying right then.

Thinking of Shunsui and the house was like thinking of security, love and warmth. She missed her life. God she missed it so much, she couldn't count the times that she had stood up and was on her way to the Eighth to get her job back but she resolutely turned around and hid out in her rented apartment in the First District, at least there she could go out into the street and pretend she was part of the life that was happening all around her. She felt left out, she felt as if life was passing by and she wasn't doing anything productive. She wasn't. And she missed being busy, she missed having a purpose. Anything! She was so desperate for something to do she had actually started to put the books near her in proper order, she supposed not even the librarians made it this far into the back.

The librarians nowadays weren't what they used to be. She had started helping out at the ramen shop near her cottage to get some pocket change. It was a superbly located place to be and feel out people with strong reiatsu, not that it was easy with the suppressor she was wearing. Because in addition to other people not being able to find her, she wasn't able to feel people well either, which was why when something blocked the poor lighting which was already poor in her hide-out, when she looked up and saw none other than Kyouraku Shunsui glowering down at her, it was already too late to run away.

“Good, you're not dead,” Shunsui said with a dark mien and then turned around as if to leave but then he turned back and with a determined move stepped up to her and grabbed for one of her hands. Nanao tried to pull her hand back, because as soon as he touched her flesh she felt a spark that was there even with her reiatsu tempered. After he dropped her hand and picked up the other one, Nanao couldn't do anything but stare at him, which was why when he saw the intricate bracelet she wore around her wrist and ripped it off, she could only stare dumbly. For a second. Then,

“What are you doing?! You are destroying property of the Twelfth. They only loaned this to me! Do you know what they'll do now that it's destroyed?”

“It's eating up your reiatsu like crazy. I could feel it leaching off of you from around the corner. It's like Zaraki's eye-patch.”

“That still didn't give you the right to destroy it! I will not get another one.”

“You don't need to fucking hide from me. I'm not so desperate that I don't get the point.”

“Well, you're still here aren't you?” Nanao asked pointedly.

This seemed to frustrate Shunsui. With a jerk he gripped his hair and only now did Nanao realise that he had foregone his straw hat.

“What the hell, Nanao! Do you think I chose for this to happen?” He asked as if pained.

Nanao instantly went with the program.

“You decided without my input happily enough!”

“Is this about your pride?!”

“No! It is about you not trusting in my abilities!”

“What would you have had me do? Take you with me into battle? I couldn’t concentrate without you there, thinking about if you were alright, what do you think would have happened with you there? I refuse to take you into danger and that’s how you thank me?” He just didn’t understand her.

“No! You refused to trust in me to stay alive, to be of help. And don’t come with the ‘someone had to stay in Seireitei’ excuse,” when she saw him starting along those lines. “I am good enough to fuck and do your paperwork but not to fight alongside you?!” Nanao was furious and thankfully in a mood far away from tears which was why she was being crude. Unfortunately she had to whisper-shout as she did not want anyone to overhear them.

“Don’t cheapen what we have.” Shunsui said seriously, also quite angry, which was a rarity in itself.

“Had, Kyouraku-taicho. Had. And please, I have actual reading to do, so if you could please vacate the library.”

“Nanao!” He grabbed her arm when she turned to leave.

But Nanao just disentangled herself from his grip this time with a violent shake of her arm, not wanting to feel his hand upon her flesh again and ...feel... him and stormed off with such an icy expression on her face, he knew there was no sense in following her. Damn it!

Ooo-ooO

Flashback

Shunsui dreaded this. They were supposed to leave in an hour for the real world and he still hadn’t told Nanao that he had decided to leave her here. He had known for weeks he wouldn’t be able to have her by his side.

At some point he got desperate.

Yesterday night, he had made love to her so fiercely, with an urgency and harshness since both were thinking about what the next day would bring. Would it bring death? Victory? Loss?

Shunsui shook his head and opened the sliding door to their shared office and found Nanao bowed over her office desk, shuffling papers into order with a heavy frown on her face.

Shunsui stayed at the door and leaned against it, watching her for a moment.

“Shunsui?” Nanao inquired, obviously a bit freaked since she used his name and not his title and they were in the office.

For a moment, Shunsui couldn’t talk. This might be the last time they saw each other. He was an emotional man, he admitted that, and having Nanao had meant so much to him that for some reason he just wanted to grab her and shunpo away to some place where no one knew them or where they couldn’t be found. It would be easy enough but that stupid conscience told him he wouldn’t be able to do it.

“Taicho?” His Nanao-chan inquired again.

Shunsui took a deep breath and without moving he told her.

“My most beauteous Nanao-chan, Yama-ji thinks someone should stay in Seireitei to oversee matters and he thought you’d be the best choice.”

Now, Nanao wasn’t born yesterday and she had also served under him in the Eighth Division for over a hundred years. She knew him.

For a moment Nanao didn’t move.

“What do you mean?”

“…You will stay here and oversee the Shinigami that will be left here.” Shunsui’s voice sounded small.

“…I hope you are not serious?”

His silence was answer enough.

“Are you crazy? Do you actually think I will stay here when all the people who mean most to me are fighting for their very lives? If you think, for only a second I will stay here, you do not know me at all!” Under normal circumstances, Nanao would never talk to Shunsui in the offices like that, completely not like a superior but Nanao was not herself right now.

Neither Nanao nor Shunsui had moved from their positions in the office and the room that separated them, seemed to be so much bigger than usual, when a few steps would bring them close to each other.

Nanao’s face looked like she didn’t comprehend what was happening, and in truth, she didn’t. Why. Why was this happening?

Shunsui couldn’t look at her any longer and turned around as if to leave. He moved one foot forward but then stopped.

“I’ve lost one fukutaicho to this war. I will not lose another,” were his quiet words, not looking at her and with that, he left, leaving his orders behind that he knew, she would never go against.

Nanao was alone. Something was broken.

“Yes you will.” Yes, he would lose another.

Flashback End

Ooo-ooO

This was not going exactly as planned, Nanao thought. Currently she was on one of the training hills just outside the Seireitei, trying to meditate and it just wasn’t going well. Grief, stronger than anything she had ever known assaulted her every time she managed to get into a meditative state. The loss of losing Shunsui, although he was not dead, it felt just like it. She couldn’t sleep at night without him. She couldn’t breathe without him!

Her sword was naked in her lap, the sheath lying next to her, the tanto perfectly balanced.

But she couldn’t get into this and every time she was in her zanpakutou’s inner world, the zanpakutou only berated her and told her to first get things in order before trying to come back. The “things” of course were her feelings and she had started early on to be aware that her zanpakutou did not care for the “things” for whichever reason, which was why she tried to keep a cool head in everything.

She didn’t particularly need to work on her kido, so sword practice it was. Now that her reiatsu suppressing device had fallen through she might as well use her time productively. However, centring herself to an unfeeling shell was not working. Damn it. Her inner world was too tumultuous for her sword to help her any. Damn you Kyouraku Shunsui.

“Oh sorry, did’n know anyone was 'ere.” Nanao heard the apology and whipped her head around, she hadn’t even heard anyone approach so centred was she on her misery.

It was Abarai Renji, the hot-headed fukutaicho of the Sixth Division, who had interrupted her non-training.

“Abarai-fukutaicho, it is not a problem.” She smiled back at the Shinigami. Slightly.

But he wasn’t moving.

Nanao lifted her eye-brows in an icy and at the same time inquisitive manner to learn why he wasn’t moving after he had found out this place was occupied. Which actually garnered her a lop-sided grin as if there was an inside joke.

“I’m sorry, Ise-fuku…ehm, Ise-san, but I noticed you’re trainin’?”

Nanao gave a self-deprecating smile, “Well, trying to anyways.”

And now Abarai-fukutaicho smiled as if the sun shone.

“Well, I’ve discovered that it’s always easier if ye’ve got someone to train with.”

And with that accidental encounter, a twice-weekly sword regimen with one Abarai-Renji was set up.

It was hellish, it was harsh, it was bone-breaking, it was exhausting, it was absolutely amazingly, good.

Nanao felt every bone, every muscle, every ligament after every training session with the fukutaicho who wanted to be called Renji. She hadn’t felt so alive since she broke up with Shunsui. Only sex with him had ever made her feel everything.

Of course people had started talking. About her and Renji, that they spent so much time in each other's company. But she gave it no heed, people always gossiped. She was still unsure how she and Shunsui had ever managed to keep their relationship discreetly secret.But Renji hadn't come onto her at all, which didn't say much. Her icy exterior and no-nonsense attitude usually held men very much at bay.

Once she had seen Shunsui exiting a bar, looking at her with such longing, she had nearly gone straight to him. But of course, no one had known about their affair before the Winter War, so she saw no reason to enlighten people now that it was over.

She had looked away. Looked away from temptation, because that’s what Shunsui was to her. Temptation, safety, happiness. But she couldn’t, no wouldn't, love a man that could not seem to count on her, that didn’t believe in her abilities.

She negated in her own head her need to become stronger for him, to be recognized by him. She did it all for herself! Yeah, right.

It was during one of their more creative training sessions (Truly, Renji was ingenious with back-breaking methods) that Renji suddenly stopped and Nanao nearly took his head off if they had been training with their real swords instead of the wooden bokken.

“Byakuya.” Renjiy just said, completely surprised, followed by a quick glance in her direction and a hasty, “Kuchiki-taicho, has something happened?” Nanao swirled around and saw the stoic taicho of the Sixth Division standing a bit farther off, watching them. She wondered at his perfect reiatsu control that she hadn't even felt his approach.

Kuchiki-taicho was quiet for a while until he looked in Renji’s direction and said, “I was curious about my fukutaicho's whereabouts these days and where he spends all his free, and not so free time.”

A cool glance was directed at her, “Ise-san.” Accompanied by the slightest, barest of nods.

“Kuchiki-taicho.” And Nanao nodded a respectful head-bow in his direction, “I apologise if I have taken up your fukutaicho’s time, but he has been kind enough to assist me in my training.”

But Kuchiki-taicho didn’t even glance in her direction again, instead focusing his gaze on his fukutaicho.

“I did all the paperwork!” Renji said desperately.

“Yes, you did indeed. You were quite fast in doing so too. However, that does not mean you can leave early.”

Nanao saw Renji look away with a red flush across his cheeks before staring back into the taicho’s eyes. Nanao didn’t know what was going on but she heard the tiniest of sighs escape the noble before his eyes settled back on her.

“I did not know you were still pursuing the Shinigami arts.”

“I have not stopped being a Shinigami. I am just on a leave of absence, sabbatical, however you would like to call it before either the soutaicho or I know what to do with me.” And here Nanao nearly snorted. Yeah, as if she could ever imagine just taking time off from work before.

Kuchiki-taicho just looked at her.

“You are sufficient in kido.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Since my fukutaicho is completely lacking in that respect, you may visit me at the Kuchiki Manor to test your abilities.” And with that he was gone, his coat billowing behind him as he turned before he shunpoed away.

“Wow. Taicho just invited you to train with him. I have to fairly beg him to have training sessions with me.”

Nanao didn’t exactly know either what had just happened.

Ooo-ooO

Nanao hadn’t allowed herself to actually go among people since she had resigned as fukutaicho. She had been in the Division to explain her resignation (of course she’d lied through her teeth) and they had been so astounded and shocked that she had nearly, very nearly just said, 'Joking, hahaha got ya!' But she had steadfastly run her course and just stuck to the half-truth - that she needed a sabbatical after working non-stop and now that their biggest threat was over she would enjoy her free time.

Of course no one who knew her was actually believing a word she was saying but it gave them false hope that she would come back. It hurt like hell since the Eighth had been her family for over a century. She had basically grown up there, had gone through the good and the bad and somehow it felt like she was a quitter. And she definitely was not a quitter but she couldn’t continue to live the lie that she was independent and strong, able to run a Division if not physically then on paper.

She had made a big mistake in getting involved with her taicho. She had known that. Had always known that it’d be a big mistake even at a time when she had been so young and impressionable. It had happened and she swore it would stay a one-time thing, a lapse in judgement it happened again. And again. And again. She sighed, wasn't the chase supposed to be the thing that men wanted? And for a while it actually seemed to be absolutely amazing. Up until a month ago she would even have said it was the best time of her life even with the threat of death by Aizen hanging over them. She gradually had spent more and more time outside of bed with him, although it had been all in secret, Shunsui had been amazing in finding things to do just the two of them.

She had liked that. Somehow he had been completely hers for a while. Of course she didn't have any illusions that Ukitake-taicho did not know, those two were closer than brothers but it still was their secret, magical world they lived in.

And then Shunsui had asked her to stay in Soul Society. And something had broken inside her because it had shown her above all else that he hadn’t considered her strong, capable. That some part of him still considered her the little girl she had been when she had entered the Eighth.

Nanao shook her head, she didn’t want to think of all that right now. Right now she was out with Renji and some of his other friends, notably the third seat of the 11th Division Madarame Ikkaku and his inseparable fifth seat, Yumichika, as well as many others Nanao didn’t know. But what she did know was that she was actually having a good time.

Until she was standing at the bar getting another virgin cocktail (she would do without alcohol) and then she felt him. For a second the feeling was so familiar, she just wanted to turn around, run across to where she felt him and wrap his strong arms around her, sinking into his embrace as she had done so many times before.

But just as she was preparing to move she …remembered. And as much as Nanao scolded herself a coward, since she practically ran back to her table and hid behind the red pineapple hair of Renji, it was for the best. It was for the mending of her heart.

But of course it was no use. He could feel her, like she felt him, sizzling along her reiatsu. The fact that she was pretty much pressed up to the red-head next to her probably didn’t help the situation that would ensue.

“Oy, isn't that your taicho?” Renji leaned over her to be better heard by her, unknowingly aggravating the situation even more.

With determined strides Shunsui walked over to their table.

“A word,” he leaned over, his hand descending to grip her shoulder, probably tighter than he realized.

This was too much for Nanao, she so did not want to do this, especially not with the whole of Seireitei, it seemed, listening in, and stormed outside.

However, she instantly knew that he followed her. Which was damning at best. Nanao didn’t want anyone to know her business especially what happened with her taicho, since no one really knew that they had been intimate.

Barely outside, Shunsui took her arm in a strong grip and pulled her into an alley in-between two buildings.

“Nanao we have to talk about this at some point.”

“No we don’t! I don’t want anything to do with you anymore, don’t you understand that?! It's over. It has been for weeks.” If she was a bit shriller than usual, she would forgive herself in this situation.

“I don’t believe that. I can't believe that,” he said desperately and before Nanao could do anything, Shunsui got an amazingly focused expression on his face, leaned down and took possession of her mouth with an open-mouthed siege that could not be classified as a kiss. It was a possession, it was a take-over of her mouth, her lips, her teeth, her tongue. It made her whimper and long for more. Her libido, that stupid bitch, roared up and suppressed anything else, making her arms clasp tight behind Shunsui’s head, burrowing her hands in his hair, pulling him even tighter into her body. She was a junkie in relapse.

With no hesitation at all, Nanao climbed him, her legs tightly wound around his middle while Shunsui stepped them deeper into the alley, pressing Nanao’s body up against the wall, not once separating their mouths or their bodies, already in a rhythm that would catapult them to the promised land. So familiar.

Nanao could feel him, pressed all along her body, his harsh muscles, his big build, his hard cock pressing into the valley of her pussy. It was all too much. Nanao ripped her mouth from his delicious lips and whimpered, having missed this so much. This utter feeling of life. Of being consumed. Of everything.

Shunsui used the time of her absorption to open the uniform that was in his way. He didn’t pull it off her though, he held her one-handed to himself, opening her sash with the other, without stopping his wet, open-mouthed kisses and licks along her throat and clavicle and pulled her clothing out of the way.

He used the hand that was not holding her, cradling the curves, to let it glide between her breasts, down over her stomach, rippling with her harsh breaths, to where she was riding him along his middle and wedged his clever fingers down where she was wet and aching. He knew her body so well, so unbelievably well, and with the roughness that she sometimes seemed to need he plunged his fingers into her soaked pussy, instantly entering her with two of his thick fingers where nothing had entered in so long. She was tight but soaked and she moaned in the pleasure/pain of the moment. He was inside her, if only his deliciously thick fingers.

He played her like a master. He knew where to grind, where to slide, where to pump and where to stretch with his fingers. She could feel her juices, the ones he brought forth, running over his hand. Her thigh muscles trembled around his hips.

When he took her nipple into his mouth and sucked, she felt it all the way to where his hand was plying her between her thighs and with a jerk against his body she nearly came apart. By the gods, so near!

At this point she wasn't thinking clearly anymore, she just wanted. And with desperate hands, trembling from passion, she grabbed for his satiny light blue sash, the material gliding against her fingers sensuously until she loosened the knot and dropped it before pulling his hakama down. Her small hands cradled his fat cock, making him cry out.

Nanao could feel him pulsing in her hand. Could feel how desperate he was.

With swift movements he pulled her legs from around himself, and Nanao cried out at the loss, until he near ripped her hakama down before once again stepping in between her spread thighs, and lunged into heaven.

Nanao groaned, or tried to, before Shunsui put a muffling hand over her mouth, pressing into her slippery depths, pushing his considerable length and girth into her nearly too tight body.

Instantly Shunsui knew that like him, there had been no sex for his Nanao-chan. She was so tight he feared losing control with her. Shunsui had to clamp his mouth tightly over Nanao’s throat or he would have bellowed in ecstasy at the feeling of his Nanao-chan around him, her heated pussy taking all of him. Rippling like stormy waters around his cock.

They set a furious tempo. All the anger and the desperation, the longing of the past weeks, came to a searing combustion that had a tight hold on both.

Nanao's hands were urgently entangled in his hair, his head pressed tightly against her throat where instead of biting he was licking the slight sheen of sweat that had started to break out across her skin. And at the same time he pistoned in and out of her body in a near brutal, primitive rhythm.

Nanao could hear the sounds they made, could smell his hair shampoo, his sweat, him and their combined scent that perfumed them both. Nanao could feel his cock pumping in and out of her so roughly. So desperately. She could feel his head, pulling back her lips when he retreated and could feel the friction on them when he penetrated her. Nanao felt him slide into her, ever deeper, helped by the juices that were near flowing like a river from her body, could feel him slide easier, go deeper, especially when he took hold of both her ass cheeks and pressed her onto him just so and he bumped her where her clit was proudly protruding, making her want to escape and press harder all at the same time – it was just too much sensation.

But he didn't let go and rode her to a shuddering, shattering climax that they both couldn't hide and yelled into the night.

It seemed like an eternity that they both clung shuddering to each other, trembling at the after-shocks.

When it seemed like the trembling had abated, Nanao disentangled herself lethargically from him, clumsily, and pulled up her hakama, not looking at him. She righted her top and pulled it all closed with her sash and shaking fingers.

Nanao heard Shunsui do the same, which was why when she left on legs that seemed like they wouldn't be able to carry her home, it took him a moment to get his bearings and see her vanish in a sloppy shunpo step.

When Nanao arrived, dizzy and out of breath at her new living quarters in Rukongai, of course Shunsui was already there. Damn him and his quick shunpo.

Before she could say anything though, Shunsui strode over to her determinedly and let his hand rise to cup her cheek tenderly. He looked at her before he leaned over to close his lips over hers. He did it all so slowly, as if to give her time to get herself away from him but obviously her brain wasn't working yet as her feet were not moving and neither was her mind, it seemed, since no thoughts at all were running through her brain.

The way he kissed her, nearly made her cry, when she had sworn not to cry. She tried to make it harder, rougher, but he reined her in masterfully, so their lips and tongues slid along each other’s sensuously, slowly, full of stupid feelings that it seemed Nanao couldn't escape.

Shunsui opened the door to her new cottage, when she hadn't even known that he knew where she lived now.

She went in before him, not looking at his formidable form but before she could do anything, he closed the door behind them and had her in his arms again. Kissing her lips so sweetly that Nanao struggled once more to free herself. She could live with the desperate, angry sex, but she couldn't survive this. Shunsui just held her tighter. Her arms strangled at her side, his lips caressing over hers, slowly, gently, carefully... Nanao hated it. Or at least that's what she would tell herself afterward.

Slowly, Shunsui guided her backwards into her bedroom and down on her futon, using the short walk to disrobe them both. Nanao wouldn't help him though. She refused to participate in this. Except for the heavy breathing that she couldn't hide, that was.

Now that she was naked, Nanao could feel his seed trickling out of her on her naked skin, not held in by her trousers anymore. It felt embarrassing. Especially when Shunsui let a finger slide through her drenched centre and declared with heated eyes,

“I like to feel my seed in you.”

Nanao blushed scarlet, when she thought she couldn’t anymore after so many years in his bed. She knew he liked having her full of himself. Knew he got hard whenever he saw her dripping, but it was an entirely different thing to hear it spoken out loud, it seemed.

Before Nanao could start properly thinking and analysing the situation, Shunsui took over the moment, leaning down to kiss her, while plying her pussy with experienced mastery.

Nanao bucked as he touched her sensitive clit with knowing touches and she could feel his already hard cock sliding against her thigh. Gods, the man stayed hard, it seemed.

Nanao put her arms around his neck and pulled him in, forgetting that she was supposed to push him away. Forgetting that this would later hurt her. Forgetting that this had no future.

Shunsui follwed her invitation with relish and came over her, grasping his cock with one hand, while bracing his body with his arm next to Nanao's head.

Before entering her, he swirled his cock tip over her clit, eliciting a gasp from the woman beneath him, as well as a shudder when she opened her legs even wider. Shunsui grinned, by the gods, he would never be able to forget how limber Nanao was, as he saw her feet, spread so far, her legs were flush with the futon as well as high up against her body so her pussy was spread wide open and he could see his seed still mixed with her juices on her skin.

Gods, he had come and come. Nearly two months of sexual frustration that had not eased with the use of his hand. Maybe it had even gotten worse, for once you taste such a feast like Nanao, one can't go back to butter and bread.

Nanao cried out as he finally inserted his cock in the little slit, that although sore, screamed for his first thrust.

And when it came, Nanao did scream in ecstasy. Her back bowed against him as her insides parted for his cock, accepting his mushroom shaped head, his thick shaft and eventually his fat root. Nanao's toes curled as he hilted her on his first thrust while she was still floating from her orgasm. Gods, he knew how to work her body.

Shunsui had to close his eyes and think of Yama-ji naked, to keep from spilling his seed before he had even come fully into her. Her walls were squeezing him like a fist, trying to keep him from his goal, but he didn't stop until her juices squished, and her body accepted him fully. He felt at home here, where he was closest to Nanao, sharing her body, if not her soul for the moment.

He knew she loved it when he worked his cock into her body, although wet, still so tight.

Nanao grabbed onto Shunsui's body, drawing his hips into her. She spread her thighs more and rested the heels of her feet on his flexing ass, sucking in a breath at the feeling of him sinking even deeper. Like this, she didn't have any control of how deep he went. He controlled it all.

For a moment, a short moment, it was just too much and Shunsui's cock seemed to be too big for her, her breath rasped out in a sharp exhalation but Nanao didn't stop him, just accepted him and when he thrust back a second time, she gasped in pleasure. Gods, how she had missed this, had missed him, on top of her, inside her and she just didn't know how she would survive being without him anymore. The dark thought brought her back from the brink of the pleasure, at least until his next thrust, when she lost all coherence.

This was it, Shunsui thought. This was how it was supposed to be, so tightly joined nothing could come between them. Before he knew what he was doing, he sent short pulses of reiatsu into Nanano, to mingle with hers, they had done it before to make the experience even sharper, but for the first time Nanao rejected it. She held her reiatsu under tight control, not letting it mingle with his, but before he could say anything or stop he was swept away by Nanao's constricting channel that made him explode right with her.

When was finished catching his breath he got off her and turned over on his back, staring at the ceiling of the room.

“Please, leave.” He closed his eyes at the pain he felt at those words. Nanao sounded utterly defeated.

“Nanao, we have to talk about this,” he said, knowing it would not go far, but trying anyways.

“Just leave.” He closed his eyes and heard her move away from the bed. He turned over and saw Nanao vanishing through another door that he assumed was her bathroom.

For a while, he just stared at the ceiling, for once not knowing what to do.

Eventually he got up and without really thinking about it, he went into her bathroom. Shunsui saw her sitting on the floor, her back against a wall, a towel around her. For some reason, he felt very naked right now, when usually he didn't mind walking around naked at all.

“Don't you know how much this hurts me too? You think I'm not good enough,” came the dejected voice of Nanao, who wasn't even looking at him.

“By the gods, Nanao, never that! I just wanted to protect you.” He couldn't stop himself from going over to her and kneeling down in front of her bare-ass naked.

“And that's an insult in itself. Either I was your fukutaicho or not. There cannot be a middle ground, there should not be! You cannot have a ‘half’ fukutaicho! Employ a special secretary who does the paperwork and the schedules, because that's all I really do – I am a glorified secretary with a neat job title. A fukutaicho is there to fight, to protect Seireitei, to support the captain, to support their Division-” but Nanao was cut off.

“Nanao, I love you! What was I supposed to do, just let you die? I can't lose you.” It broke out of him.

“Well you lost me anyways.” Came the cold reply.

“Nanao! Listen to me, this is nothing. It's a hiccup. Losing you would be you dying, because short of that, I will not let you go. That would be losing you.”

“You didn't include yourself in this, you didn't think you were going to die?! Because I was thinking about it every second, being confined here, waiting on word from the observers in the real world, hearing how many fukutaichos were fighting, being hurt, just waiting on something! And when we heard Aizen cross into Soul Society, I was sure you were dead. I was sure everyone was dead, because that would be the only scenario where you would let Aizen into Soul Society.”

“Nanao-”

“No. I know you are stronger. I know. But that does not mean I am not useful. I am a Shinigami, and I am a damn good kido user, even if you do not give me credit. I could have helped.”

“Nanao, I wouldn't have been able to concentrate if you had been there. And that's not only because you think you're weaker, it's because I fucking love you! I couldn't concentrate with Ukitake there, always worrying what would happen if I lost him, do you know how hard it was?”

“Then train me!” It broke out of Nanao. “Train me so you will be able to trust in me and my abilities so you will not have to worry about me anymore. You will know you won't have to worry about me, if that is your only excuse.”

“Only if you come back to me.” Nanao's head jerked up and they looked at each other for a good minute.

Nanao got up slowly and then left the room, getting a slight yukata on her way out, “Idiot.” She muttered.

Nanao didn't particularly know where she was going. She didn't have any close friends that she could just stay over without an explanation. She didn't like letting people close to her, it was Shunsui who had wheedled his way into her life and into her heart. Gods, she could still feel him inside her, still going into her, her sore muscles clenched and she had to stop and take a deep breath. It was when she opened her eyes she saw that she was actually near Renji's little house. Why he had a house when he had perfectly adequate lodgings in his Division as all fukutaicho did, she didn't know. It just seemed like a waste of money. It was different for her, since she had lived at Shunsui’s house as his live-in lover. Also, it was the perfect house and without really speaking about it, she had quietly moved her stuff into it. She still had had her lodgings in the Division, but she pretty much never used them, in favour of Shunsui's home. She wished she could simply go back to her home.

Different thoughts, different thoughts!

So, she guessed going to Renji's was as good as anything else. She had gone there once with him, when they had stopped their training for some food in and she had found out Abarai-fukutaicho was an amazing cook. Also, his house was very neat, something she definitely hadn't expected. It felt very homey and lived-in, and she sighed, missing her own home at Shunsui's once again. The cottage that she rented right now, was absolutely sterile and bare, maybe because she hoped they'd be transitory and she would go somewhere else?

She didn't know.

Then she knocked on Renji’s door.
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