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A Shadow of What Was	By : katami Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 49594 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 18
- 19
- 20
Author's Notes: You will begin to notice, dear readers, that my version of Bleach history differs from the manga in coming chapters. I chose not to try and keep up with the recent revelations because working out the Grand Master Plan for Shadow nearly drove me nuts the first time - I am not up for trying to rework it. So my version of history does not match with the manga. *sigh*

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter. And, as always, reviews are much appreciated.

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They were keeping something from him. Something big. Something he knew he should be angry about. Ichigo wasn�t an idiot; he didn�t miss the subtle signs of his imprisonment, no matter how his friends tried to disguise it.

He was kept in his own quarters, but he was not allowed to leave. Not that he could have made it to the door. The inhibitor locked his powers down to near nothing, and his body was still sluggish and slow from the drugs he had been dosed with when he'd been ambushed.

He couldn�t even hear Zangetsu or Benihime thanks to the myriad of concoctions in his veins. The only voice echoing in his head was Shirosaki, and he had nothing productive to say except for calling Ichigo an idiot. He knew he was an idiot, if he weren�t an idiot, he wouldn't be stuck in his room while he should have been out looking for Kisuke.

There were guards posted on his door. They weren�t called guards, they were called aides, but Ichigo knew a guard when he saw one. The fact that all of the �aides� were from the 3rd or 10th, and were people he couldn�t technically order to release him, wasn�t lost on him. He was a prisoner in all but name.

Getting his family to talk to him had been a masterful stroke. He wondered if it was Ishida�s touch or Karin�s? Those two were both formidable planners when motivated. They would have done Urahara proud, he thought with a dull ache, the drugs eating away at his control and leaving his heartache far too close to the surface.

He wanted to curl in upon himself, hug his knees and do nothing more than let the drugs take him, to pretend for at least a little while that he was happy. That he was whole. He couldn�t though. Kisuke was counting on him, along with so many others. He had to be strong. Ichigo shoved the pain down and forced his body upright, calling for the guards. �Hey! Hey! I want a report!� he snarled, annoyed when no one responded immediately. Prisoner or not, he was still a captain and that deserved respect.

Finally, the door slid open and Ichigo felt his stomach drop.

He knew it was bad when the door opened and Rukia stood there - tea tray in hand. Not just a tea tray, a formal Japanese tea tray. Rukia only pulled out the formal shit when it was really bad. The last time she had done it had been when one of the trainees under her charge had blown up his office during kidou practice. He still wasn't clear on how his office had come under fire for a kidou training exercise, but there were some questions it was better not to ask. Rukia had pulled out all the stops and done a full tea ceremony for him before finally getting around to telling him about the office though. Ichigo was fairly sure it was something she had learned from Byakuya, or maybe Ukitake. And just once he wished the Shinigami could skip all the formalities, and the tea - especially the tea - and just get to what was wrong.

�I thought you might like some tea, Kurosaki-taichou,� Rukia murmured, and Ichigo moved her news from Incredibly Bad to Even Worse, cold dread settling like lead in his stomach. There was only one reason they would go to all this trouble - sending Rukia to him, chaining him so thoroughly...

Something had happened to Kisuke!

�Spare me the formal crap, Rukia. Where�s Kisuke?� he demanded, visions of the blonde hurt flashing before his eyes. Kisuke bleeding, tears of fear and pain clouding those beautiful grey eyes, his reiatsu getting weaker and weaker... He began shivering, remembering all too clearly the last time...Urahara bleeding, his eyes growing dim, that long-fingered hand falling away...

A sharp breeze whipped through the room, rustling papers and stirring his bedding and Rukia�s uniform. It died quickly, but the shock on Rukia�s face told him it had been more than his imagination. �You need to stay calm, Ichigo. We�re doing everything we can at the moment,� she assured him, her voice firm and calm. It was her vice captain�s voice. It did nothing to reassure him though; it only cemented his fears.

�What happened to Kisuke?!� he snarled, fear and rage boiling through him. Kisuke was out there alone! He could be hurt...or worse! And they were keeping him caged, had forced him to sit idle for nearly five hours while the blonde needed him!

The wind burst back to life, sharp and hot, fiercer than before. It tossed aside furniture and shattered windows, sending the glass and debris flying together in a deadly storm. It screamed his outrage and hatred that his one hope could be stolen from him. He could feel Shirosaki stirring within him, rising to the silent summons of his anger. He felt the Hollow sliding into him, merging with him easily and naturally, like taking hands with the other part of himself. His sight twisted, his view of the world shifting as his eyes grew golden.

�You have to calm down, Ichigo!� cried Rukia, tossing away the tea and rushing to his side, trying to take his hand, to keep him calm.

He swatted her hand away, rage lending him strength and coordination. He felt his blood burning with power, washing the drugs away, purifying his body in silver fire. For a moment, he thought the glowing silver-blue light was in his eyes...But it wasn�t. The wind was glowing; his whole body was glowing. Power was tumbling out of him faster than it ever had before. He felt the inhibitor snap and fall from his neck, but it was from a long ways off, it didn�t matter.

Kisuke was all that mattered - getting to him, saving him.

�Where is Kisuke?!?� he snarled, surging to his feet.

The guards rushed in but were stopped by the howling wall of reiatsu. It sent them to the ground, trembling and breathless, cowering at the thunderous force of his rage. Renji and Ishida were at Rukia's side an instant later. Their reiatsu were merged into a beautiful, shifting creation of light blue, blood red, and shimmering lavender. Their power was a solid wall against his, firm and unwavering. For a moment, he had the urge to smash them, to rage against them for their joy, for having each other when he was alone. The moment was gone before he could even complete the thought though. They were his friends, and he loved them. He would die before losing either one of them. He wanted them to be happy, their happiness was all he had left. Their happiness...and his dream of Kisuke.

�He's missing! He�s gone, Ichigo. We don�t know where. Uryuu thinks Aizen took �im,� Renji told him. "We're gonna get 'im back! But ya gotta calm down, Ichigo."

It took a moment for their words to sink in and even when they did he wasn�t sure he understood them. He must have heard wrong. Had to have heard wrong. Kisuke couldn�t be gone. He couldn�t. Ichigo couldn�t live without him. Not again.

He felt his heart stop and his world tumble from its axis. He couldn�t breathe, couldn�t hear, couldn�t see. All he knew was the screaming denial in his heart. The scream of a dying thing clawing its way up from the depths of his soul. Or maybe it was his soul dying?

One moment everything was dark and silent, and the next it was filled with light and screaming.

He was screaming. The wind was screaming. The power was screaming. Even Shirosaki and Benihime were screaming, adding their cries to the mix. Wind was whipping through the room, ripping and tearing at everything, slashing at all those it touched. He was glowing with power, it was pouring out of him like a bright, burning flood, ready to consume everything in its path.

�No! Ichigo! No!� screamed Uryuu, the Quincy surging forward to knock him from his feet. �Goddamn it! Help me!� screamed the archer, and a moment later Shinigami were pouring into the room, bodies piling on top of him, holding him down and struggling to contain his power.

�Sorry �bout this,� muttered Renji, grabbing his hair and slamming his head against the floor. Stars danced before his eyes and his struggles faltered. The redhead slammed his head against the floor again and again. He could feel darkness creeping in at the edges of his vision and increased his struggles. He had to get free. He had to help Kisuke. To save him!

His head hit the floor once more and darkness began to fall. He could see Urahara reaching out for him, his eyes begging him for help, but he couldn�t reach, couldn�t help. How could he save the blonde when he couldn�t even save himself? �I�m sorry. I�m so sorry, � he choked softly, a sprinkling of tears falling as he slipped away.
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A Shadow of What Was