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A Shadow of What Was	By : katami Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 49594 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 16
- 17
- 18
Author's Notes: Many thanks to all those who have reviewed and shown and interest in this story, it's nice to know my sanity goes to a worthy project. We are once again far away from Aizen so this chapter should be fairly safe . Hope you all enjoy.

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Kisuke felt the panic return as he stared at the green-eyed demon who stood on the staircase to what he assumed was the way out of his new prison. Part of him wanted to make a dash for freedom but the louder part just wanted to get away from Ulquoirra, this man who had apparently killed him in his last life. That was if he believed Grimmjow's story and from the blind terror flooding his body, it was hard to doubt.

"He ain't gonna hurt ya, Kitten," muttered Grimmjow. And while his head could understand that, process it and suspect it to be true, the rest of him couldn't. The rest of him screamed for him to run, to get away.

He huddled further under Grimmjow's coat, trying to calm his fluttering heart, trying to push down the blind terror that had seized him. "Aw fuck! Tell the kitten you won't hurt him, Ulquoirra," ordered Grimmjow, hovering over him as the blue haired man tried to figure out what to do for him.

The look Ulquoirra cast at them said they were both stupid, but that he would humor them solely because he had no other option. "It would be unprofitable to injure him at this juncture."

"There! See? He ain't gonna hurt ya," announced Grimmjow.

"That would be far more reassuring if I hadn't been kidnapped," Kisuke snapped. 'And if I had some pants,' he added privately. There was something very wrong about facing one's death in boxers. He tensed as Ulquoirra took a step closer, he could feel the numbness fighting with the terror inside him. "Food," murmured Ulquoirra, holding out a bag with what looked like mild distaste as he continued descending the stairs.

�Hadou 4: White Lightning.� Lightning struck mere millimeters from Ulquoirra�s left foot, halting his progress. �Stay the hell away from me, Arrancar,� Kisuke growled, shocked at the sound of his own voice and the anger in it. He also wasn't entirely sure what an Arrancar was or how he knew that Ulquoirra was one, but he knew.

�Hey, hey, no need for that, Kitten,� tried Grimmjow, looking slightly alarmed. �Maybe if you take your sword off, Ulquoirra?�

The smaller man looked ready to object but he studied them for a moment and finally nodded. "I fail to see why this is necessary," he growled but removed his sword and cautiously continued down the stairs.

"'Cause it makes things kinda hard if it the kid here is always trying to blast your stupid ass. If losin' the sword makes the kid feel better then fine. Don't worry, I'll protect you," taunted Grimmjow, snatching the food from the other Espada and giving it a sniff before thrusting the bag at Kisuke.

"Smells like shit," he growled, making Kisuke wonder what Arrancar ate. To him the crappy convenience store chili burger and chili cheese fries smelled like bliss and tasted even better. He devoured the food ravenously under the gaze of the two disbelieving Arrancar.

"Can't believe he ate that crap," Grimmjow muttered to Ulquoirra as Kisuke sat back happily. It was hard to tell time in this strange place but his stomach insisted that lunch had been many hours before. Too many hours before.

"It was what was available, the human world does not function at night," replied Ulquoirra. "Have you contacted the Shinigami yet?"

"Not yet. Had to get the kitten patched up and then he attacked that stuff you called food."

"Since you've clearly finished, make him contact the Shinigami so we can be done with this," ordered Ulquoirra moving to stand a few feet off.

Grimmjow sighed but turned his attention back to him and Kisuke felt himself growing tense, wondering what they wanted from him. "What do you say, Kitten? Feel up to calling home?"

Kisuke stared between the two Arrancar, not understanding what they were talking about. "What are you talking about? Call the Shinigami? Why do you need me to call anyone?" he asked. Panic flooded him as Ulquoirra turned a dark glare on him and all he could do was clench his fist, longing for his sword. His lips were moving, a chant spilling out of him, before he even realized it.

Grimmjow dove for him, a large hand covering mouth, stopping the chant, as another settled around his waist to hold him in case he struggled. "Calm down, Kitten. Calm down. No one's going to hurt you."

Ulquoirra was moving as he stared to calm, at his sword, hand reaching for it. "Fuckin' hell! Don't get him riled! Stupid fuckin' prick," Grimmjow snarled at Ulquoirra as Kisuke growled and began struggling to get loose.

"Fuck!"

Kisuke twisted loose, breathing hard with a sharp feral smile on his blood-strained lips. Red shimmered around icy grey eyes that glittered with an almost manic energy. "Little bastard bit me!" snarled Grimmjow, making Kisuke's smile widen slightly.

He had never fought fair. Fair was just another way to say fucked. The Rukongai had taught him that. Ulquoirra made a move for him and he leapt aside, pain shooting through his left leg, but the limb held. He danced out of reach away from Grimmjow's lunge, smirking as he twisted just out of the man's grasp.

Both Arrancar were back on their feet quickly and Kisuke was impressed despite himself. They moved faster than him and that was rare. A sharp smile tugged at his lips, they were faster but he was smarter and more agile. He had been raised on the streets of the 77th and he hadn't been caught since he was seven. The beating the water merchant had given him insured he had ample motivation to make sure he was never caught again. The two Arrancar looked at him and then at each other, the larger one taking the right flank and the smaller taking the left.

He let them come at him, twisting and weaving from their grasps, flowing between them like smoke. He pivoted and felt his left leg give out, sending him to the floor with a growl, both Arrancar following him. He growled and punched and bit any flesh that came within range.

His first day at the Academy he had been jumped by a group of noble brats. They had been jealous of the Rukongai upstart who had shown them all up. All he could think of as he struggled within the tangle of limbs was of that other pile of bodies from so long ago. He felt a dark and bitter rage well up from somewhere inside him, lending him strength as he clawed and fought to get free. They had no right to do this to him! �Shit!� snarled someone as he bit them. Another voice grunted as his nails raked and caught tender flesh. He twisted and snarled, fighting like an angry wildcat.

Finally strong arms caught his, locking them behind his back and hauling him to his feet. He hissed and glared at the green eyed man behind him and the blue eyed man before him. Years before it had been a woman in the blue eyed man�s place, a young girl with dark hair and golden cat eyes.

Yoruichi.

She had looked at him, scruffy and bloody and still defiant...and kicked the older boy holding his arms right in the head. They had been inseparable after that.

A sharp slap to the face dragged him from the memory and had him opening his mouth to spout out a spell when the world shifted. Kisuke stared up at Grimmjow, panting, hurting, lost between the memory that still teased his brain and his own hazy memories of the last few minutes.

�Kitten?� murmured the Arrancar carefully.

�Kisuke,� he countered with a groan, shaking his head as if trying to clear it. Eventually it did clear and his body began reporting in. And it reported agony. He was covered in bumps and bruises and cuts, the wound to his leg had been ripped open and was bleeding rather steadily, and his head ached horribly.

�Give him here,� muttered Grimmjow, hoisting him off the ground in one easy move that made his stomach flip unsettlingly.

�I shall procure more supplies since we will clearly need them. Deal with this,� ordered Ulquoirra with a glare for the both of them.

�Bring bedding; I want a rest after all that.� Kisuke had to smile faintly at Grimmjow�s priorities. He had a feeling the other man almost always put his comfort first. �And bring some clothes for the kid. I'm sick of looking at his scrawny legs.�

Ulquoirra glared but nodded and started up the steps back into the real world as Grimmjow carried him over to a rock and set him down. The remainder of the alcohol went over his wound in a fiery burn sharp enough for Kisuke to wish they could just cut the damned leg off and quit doing this. Tears stung his eyes and he wiped at them as Grimmjow redressed the wound.

"Where am I?" he asked softly, anything to drag his mind away from the pain in his leg and remind himself of who he was - Mizuno Kisuke, not some long dead Shinigami captain.

"Same place ya were before ya went psycho, dumb ass. The Vaizards' old haunt," growled Grimmjow, glaring darkly at him.

Kisuke examined the new word, trying to see if he knew it, but coming up with nothing. "What's a Vaizard? And won't they be pissed that you're using their place?"

Grimmjow glared up at him and for a second Kisuke thought the other man wouldn't answer, but then he sighed. "Vaizards are a sorta Shinigmi-Hollow hybrid. And they won't care, they haven't been around here for twenty-some-odd years - since the start of the war. They didn't wanna take sides. They didn't wanna bend over for Aizen but they hated Soul Society 'bout as much, so they refused to fight for either one. They stuck around long enough to train Kurosaki and then hauled ass outta Karakura. Ulquoirra found this place, not sure how. Emo boy was always good with that detail shit."

"Kurosaki? The one I...he...," he stammered to a halt, blushing at Grimmjow's smirk. He was still trying to process the idea of a lover and just what Urahara's lover meant to him. He'd never dated much; had never wanted to. He'd chalked it up to knowing that anyone he did date would figure out just how smart he really was and once that got around his nice peaceful life would have been ruined. That hadn't been the only reason though, there had always been some nagging part of him that had...wanted something, something he knew his classmates couldn't give him.

He just wasn't sure he wanted Urahara's lover.

"The one you were fucking?" asked Grimmjow, with a knowing smirk.

"Jerk," muttered Kisuke, kicking him lightly with his good leg and earning a chuckle from the Arrancar. Grimmjow grinned at him and Kisuke smiled despite himself. "Anyway, yeah, that Kurosaki?"

"Yep, same one."

"I...he...He was sleeping with one of these Vaizards?"

"Why not?" asked Grimmjow with a shrug. �Hollow, Arrancar, Shinigami, Vaizard, all different sides of the same thing.�

"Are they even human?" Shinigami were real, he had been kidnapped by Arrancar, there was an evil overlord out to get him and he was worried that his lover from a past life might not have been human? Kisuke wondered if it wasn't time to take a long look at his life and reevaluate his priorities.

"Kurosaki was human before Urahara turned him into a Vaizard."

Kisuke startled, earning a sharp glare from Grimmjow and a jerk on his leg to remind him that the blue haired man was still working on it. �I...I...made him?� he asked in a strickened whisper as some impossible memory slipped across his brain. He was staring down into a deep, dark pit, a bound young man at its bottom. And he was responsible for this. In a few hours this young man would die and be consumed. If he was lucky he would emerge stronger than either of them had ever imagined. If the boy was not, then he would have to kill the boy. Either way he had done this. Bound another sentient being up like a lamb to the slaughter.

Bile filled his mouth and Kisuke quickly leaned away from Grimmjow, sensing the Arrancar really would hurt him if he threw up on him. He dinner came back up in rush and Kisuke desperately wished the memory could as well. What had he done? What sort of person could do such things?

He lay trembling upon the rock, his stomach empty, his throat burning and those terrible questions spinning around his head with the memories. �Aw fuck, what is it? What happened, Kitten? What�s the matter?� groused Grimmjow, no real heat in the words. Instead the other man gathered him up, wiping his face, and carried him away from his mess to gently sit down with his back propped against a rock, Kisuke sitting in his lap and nestled against him.

�What happened, Kitten?�

�I...I...What was I?� he breathed out softly, frightened that any incarnation of him could do such a thing.

�Ya were trying to stop an egotistical madman. Ends and means and all that crap. �Sides, it was twenty years ago, who gives a fuck about it now?� soothed Grimmjow with a shrug and all the morality of cat, thought Kisuke almost fondly.

The blonde was afraid he knew the answer to the Arrancar�s question though. He gave a crap. He couldn�t be a man who did such things. He couldn�t remember him because the risk of becoming him was just too great. He had to make Urahara Kisuke go away.

*Omake*

Because a friend asked for it
She knew there was something wrong when the sports drinks began floating to the checkout counter. She tried to ignore it though. Working the graveyard shift in the convenience store could do funny things to the mind. Last quarter, during finals week, she'd thought the chips were floating for a full ten minutes before she realized she'd fallen asleep under one of the stupid display racks and the floating chips were really just sitting in the rack. All perfectly normal.

The floating sports drinks were a new twist, and it wasn't finals for two more weeks but she tried to keep an open mind about it. Maybe she was dreaming it? Dreaming was likely, right? Or maybe her brain had finally died of boredom? They didn't get much traffic after two.

Chips, cookies, and several sandwiches joined the sports drinks.

A brain aneurysm? Did college students get those?

"I shall also require directions to a location where I can find clothes and some bedding," announced the various things on the counter.

"Definitely time to tell Mr. Yamashito I quit," she murmured, taking off her hat laying it slowly on the counter, her apron following. "I know. I'll leave him a nice note. In the back room," she told the items before stepping out from behind the counter and heading into the back.

Ulquoirra watched the human sales person leave with confusion and annoyance. "Human trash," he muttered, placing his selections in a bag and vowing that next time Grimmjow could procure the food. This was the second time in as many hours that the humans had completely ignored him!
- 16
- 17
- 18
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A Shadow of What Was