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The Heart in My Hand	By : chayron Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 10028 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. It belongs to its respective owners. This fan fiction is not a commercial project, and I am not making any money from writing it.

Chapter List
- 1-Part 1
- 2-Part 2
- 3-Part 3
- 4-Part 4
- 5-Part 5
- 6-Part 6
- 7-Part 7
- 8-Part 8
- 9-Part 9
- 10-Part 10
- 11-Part 11
- 12-Part 12
- 13-Part 13
- 14-Part 14
- 15-Part 15
- 16-Part 16
- 17-Part 17
- 18-Part 18
- 19-Part 19
- 20-Part 20
- 21-Part 21
- 22-Part 22
- 23-Part 23
- 24-Part 24
- 25-Part 25
- 26-Part 26
- 27-Part 27
- 12
- 13
- 14
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach – it belongs to its respective owners. This fan fiction is not a commercial project, and I am not making any money from writing it.
Warnings:
1. Yaoi (male x male). Ulquiorra x Ichigo and vice versa. Other pairings?
2. Ichigo – almost 19 years old; Ulquiorra – probably a few hundred as a Hollow and about a decade or so as an Arrancar?
3. Post anime (haven’t read the manga).
4. Alternate Universe.
5. I’m not a native speaker, thus expect various language oddities.
6. I’m not very familiar with all the details in the anime, and I am also new to Bleach fandom, so I will be straying away from the canon quite frequently. I do my research but Bleach is a vast universe that is not so easy to grasp. I must admit, though, that there are also things in the anime that don’t make sense to me and I take the liberty of recreating certain parts of this universe as I see fit.
The Heart in My Hand
by chayron (lttomb@yahoo.com), beta-read by Ash
Part 13
The rest of the week passed without major incident, the days calm and uneventful yet filled with excitement. They adopted a black and white kitten on Thursday, named her Nori, and spent the entire Friday afternoon playing with her. Every time she saw Ulquiorra, her fur would rise, but Ulquiorra kept his distance from the little creature and, by Sunday, the kitten was no longer bothered by the Arrancar’s presence.
There was still no news on Akira Kawaguchi, the mastermind behind the kidnapping attempt. Ulquiorra had fallen into the routine of seeing the sisters to and from school. The time in-between was spent wandering around and hunting, even though he had stopped eating as much. Ulquiorra’s left arm had healed as well, leaving no scars or traces of ever being injured.
Ichigo used the weekend to get much needed sleep. The uncanny incident when Ulquiorra flirted with him left Ichigo sleepless for the few previous nights. However, nothing of the sort happened again, the Arrancar acting as per usual. By the end of the week, Ichigo started thinking that he might have misunderstood or imagined something.
Orihime visited daily, bringing buns and asking about Ulquiorra’s health. Ichigo was getting exceedingly concerned about her obvious attraction to the Arrancar. Why did Orihime keep falling for troublesome characters? As if he or Kon wasn’t enough, now an Arrancar. What was going on in that beautiful head of hers? Ulquiorra, on the other hand, didn’t notice or simply paid no attention to the fact. Yet, it bothered Ichigo even more since the Arrancar always thanked her and was polite to a fault, which didn’t normally happen with anyone else. In fact, it bothered Ichigo so much that on Sunday, when they were visiting Kisuke, he waited for a chance to be alone with the former captain to ask questions that he never thought he’d ask in his lifetime.
“Is there any chance for an Arrancar to become interested in a Human?”
From across the table, Kisuke gave Ichigo a confused look, his fan stopping midway. “Huh?”
“I mean romantically,” Ichigo added to clarify. Kisuke’s face shone with unconcealed curiosity and Ichigo groaned mentally.
“Are you talking about Ulquiorra?” the former captain asked, his fan continuing to work. “Did something happen?”
It was embarrassing to talk about, and Ichigo put his elbows on the table, unconsciously covering his eyes with his hands. “Umm…sort of. It seems like Orihime…” Looking at Kisuke through the grates of his fingers, he trailed off. “…That she likes him.”
“And?”
“And nothing,” Ichigo said, even more embarrassed. “I was just wondering if anything could come out of it.”
The former captain shrugged, unconcerned. “Well, I suppose it depends on Ulquiorra’s taste. No pun intended,” he said chuckling at the look on Ichigo’s face. “Does he respond?”
“Ugh. No, I don’t think so. Or maybe he does? What do I know about Arrancars? And there was that time in the hot spring with Yoruichi and… Ahh…” Ichigo’s rambling trailed off at the angry look on Kisuke’s face.
“Did he do anything?”
Ichigo shook his head quickly. “No, it wasn’t like that. She was in the spring, naked. Her…well, her chest on display as usual.” He held out his hands in front of him to vividly describe its ampleness. “And he… I mean even I didn’t know where to look!” Ichigo finished, his face turning red. He lowered his hands back to his sides. “He threw her a towel.”
Lowering his hat to cover his face, Kisuke leaned away from the table. He sighed. “Well, even if you tell me, I can’t do anything about it. That’s just how she is.”
Ichigo shook his head. “I know. That’s not the point. I was just wondering if it’s… I mean, he’s an Arrancar and Orihime is… Ahh…” he sighed, deflating even more. “Is that even possible?”
Kisuke pushed up his hat with his fan. “Basically, you’re asking if Ulquiorra can be sexually active?”
“Ugh,” Ichigo grunted uncomfortably, Ulquiorra’s soft, seductive voice surfaced in his memory. He felt his face heat up again. “Err… I suppose?”
“He can,” Kisuke confirmed. “This rarely works with Hollows since many of them don’t even have a gender, or, if they do, they consider each other food and not an object of sexual or romantic interest. Even if they feel attracted to each other, there’s also the matter of different species and subspecies. They rarely, if ever, have offspring.”
“I see. And Arrancars?”
“Arrancars are a completely different matter,” Kisuke told Ichigo. “It’s a new species and Aizen was immensely interested in their behavior. He’s catalogued tons of material concerning the issue. His study, however, isn’t complete.”
Ichigo’s expectant look made Kisuke pause and take time to arrange the information in his head before sharing it with Ichigo; it had been some time ago that he had read the research documents.
“It seems that lower rank Arrancars were mostly interested in fighting each other,” he started, “just as Hollows. All Arrancars have the needed reproductive organs, but they weren’t very sexually active or interested in sex in general. Aizen tried to make the higher ranks reproduce naturally, but there weren’t many female Arrancars and those present showed no interest. I’ll need to check again, but I think his plans to breed them artificially ended at the same time as his invasion into Seireitei.”
“That’s just as well,” Ichigo concluded. “If there had been any more of them, we’d have lost.”
Kisuke nodded. “Yes, we’d have been very troubled.”
“So you’re saying there’s not much of a chance for Ulquiorra to become attracted to Orihime?”
“Err... I didn’t say that,” Kisuke denied, dashing Ichigo’s hopes away. “Normally, Arrancars aren’t interested in other species but, just as Humans or, for that matter, Shinigami, they can’t control or choose who they become attracted to. There are various records concerning that.”
“Records?” Ichigo asked with apprehensive curiosity. “Are there any records of Arrancars...going for Humans?”
“No, there aren’t any documented cases.”
“I see,” Ichigo said, relieved. “What about Hollows? Do they...well, with Hollows?”
Kisuke waved his fan in front of him. “No, no,” he denied. “None of the Arrancars normally ever consider a Hollow anything more than food or a slave.”
Ichigo nodded. That was what Ulquiorra had told him. Ichigo wondered whether or not he should question Kisuke further. This did feel like he was getting into Ulquiorra’s personal matters behind his back. The red-head could not help his curiosity, though. “What about Arrancars and Shinigami?” he asked.
Kisuke glanced at the door. “Ermm... Aizen documented one case like that. It is surprising, but Arrancars and Shinigami are genetically closer than Arrancars and Hollows. That particular relationship, however, was more an exception than a rule. Most Arrancars just intermingled with each other.”
“Must have been tough," Ichigo commented, "if we keep in mind that there were so few females. That’s probably why they fought each other so much.” Kisuke gave him a strange look. "What?"
The former captain shook his head. "No, nothing," he said, hiding a smile behind his fan.
“And what about Ulquiorra?" Ichigo whispered, leaning forward. "Any records about him?"
“Ahh...” Kisuke drawled, scratching the back of his head with his fan awkwardly. “That record I told...”
There was a knock on the door and Karin’s head popped into the doorway. “We’re going home. I have football practice in an hour. Are you coming?”
Ichigo sighed. “Football practice? On Sunday?”
Karin rolled her eyes. “Yes, it’s been like this for the past four years. So are you coming or what?”
Ichigo wanted to continue the conversation and looked across the table to Kisuke. Now there was a book in front of him and he was busily reading it. Without even raising his head, he waved at Ichigo with his fan, indicating for him to go.
Ichigo nodded. “Yeah, I’m going,” he told Karin. He started rising from the table when Kisuke’s hand caught his sleeve.
“Ten thousand yen, please,” the former captain said, holding his palm up.
Ichigo grunted and sat back down at the table. “Right, the phone. But he doesn’t even need it. He only uses it to check the time.”
“He can also use it to call and warn you that he’s going to be late,” Kisuke said, not lifting his head, seemingly lost in the importance or thrill of the book. Therefore, Ichigo’s long, cynicism-filled look was wasted on him. “It is also completely free to use,” Kisuke added. “You won’t find any other phone like it.”
Seeing that there was no way around this, Ichigo pulled his wallet out. He had prepared the money in advance but had hoped Kisuke would either forget or refuse to take it.
“This is racketeering,” Ichigo muttered, holding out the bills. He watched Kisuke’s fingers wrap around them.
“I’ve got two hungry mouths to feed,” the former captain said softly. “I wish they would just catch their own food like Ulquiorra.”
Ichigo frowned at the thought. “Cost aside, our fridge looks like it’s straight out of a nightmare. At least he’s stopped eating so much.” He folded his wallet and stood up. “I think he’s almost back to normal, only that his Hollow mask is some-”
“Are you coming or not?” Karin interrupted him impatiently.
“Yeah, yeah,” Ichigo grunted, turning to the door. “See you later, Kisuke.”
“Bye, bye.”
- - -
His dinner forgotten, Ichigo twirled his chopsticks absently between his fingers. From across the table, he stared at Ulquiorra’s Hollow mask. There was obviously something wrong with it even if the Arrancar himself didn’t seem to be concerned about it. Ichigo wasn’t certain how it worked, but he was sure that with the help of high-speed regeneration, the mask should have healed at about the same time as Ulquiorra’s arm. As long as it wasn’t a fatal blow crushing the mask altogether, they regenerated quite easily. Kisuke had once told him that it was similar to a Human’s nail. The part that was not attached to the body could be chipped or scratched and the Hollow didn’t feel much. On the other hand, if one tried to tear the mask off or cut deep enough that it reached the tissue beneath, it was a completely different matter.
Ichigo had seen Hollows and Arrancars with chipped masks before. He supposed that they didn’t have their high-speed regeneration anymore or something else was wrong with them, but that was not the case with Ulquiorra. Ichigo couldn’t figure out why, instead of knitting together, the edges of the mask continued to crumble.
“You’re disturbing my meal,” Ulquiorra told Ichigo. “Stop staring.”
“Ah, sorry,” Ichigo said, lowering his eyes to the bowl of rice in front of him. “I didn’t notice I was.” He stuffed some rice into his mouth. “But really, it looks like your mask is getting worse.”
“Mm.”
“Are you sure you’re alright?”
“It’s fine, it’s supposed to be like this.”
“I know you’re lying.”
“I wouldn’t.”
Sighing, Ichigo leaned back in his chair. Again, he was getting nowhere. He had to ask Kisuke about this. But surely, Kisuke wasn’t blind – he would have said something already if it were bad, especially with Orihime having asked him about it no less than five times.
“Whatever,” Ichigo finally decided, digging back into his food.
ooOoOoOoo
Nori skidded across the floor in the corridor and shot into the kitchen, where Ichigo almost stepped on her. He lifted the plastic bags he was carrying higher and kicked the ball the kitten had been chasing further into the kitchen. The enthusiastic thumping of small paws across wooden floor continued. Ichigo turned towards the fridge to store the food from the bags he was carrying. He noted that the parts of Hollow wrapped in cloth didn’t have any impact on him. He had gotten used to this exclusive dish. The red-head was closing the fridge, when, just to spite himself, he imagined Ulquiorra cutting a Hollow into pieces: hands, fingers, neck, eyes, genitals, hair. What did Ulquiorra do with eyeballs? Were there any bones left? Did he bury them in their yard? And why in the world didn’t these thoughts bother him anymore?
“You look creepy,” Karin told him. She had come to the kitchen to play with Nori and was now watching her brother from the doorway.
“You don’t know the half of it,” Ichigo said. He looked around the kitchen and spotted Nori fruitlessly trying to retrieve the ball from under the TV stand. He walked over to it and, after some struggle, managed to rescue the ball with his slipper. He threw it across the floor and watched the kitten scurry after it and past Yuzu, who had just entered the kitchen.
It was almost dinner time already. Yuzu quickly arranged the products from the fridge onto the table and distributed the food preparation tasks between her siblings. Ichigo glanced at the door leading to the clinic. At the moment, Isshin had a patient who had come in to change his dressing. It seemed that he had cut himself on a barbed fence while helping his father on a farm.
“Where’s Ulquiorra?” Ichigo asked when dinner was ready.
“Mm… Why?” Karin said, following Nori with her eyes. The kitten was walking towards her food bowl.
“He’s usually back before dinner,” Ichigo said. “I don’t think he went hunting either – the fridge is stuffed.”
Karin shrugged. “I don’t know, after seeing us home, he just went off somewhere as usual.”
The door to the clinic opened and Isshin appeared. He inhaled the smell of dinner and smiled brightly, the sight of gaping wounds and red throats forgotten instantly.
“So how was your day?” he asked, walking to the kitchen tap to wash his hands.
“Everything went well,” Yuzu said, sitting down at the table. “Is he alright?” she asked, referring to the patient Isshin had changed the dressing for.
Isshin nodded. He took the towel off the hook and dried his hands. “The tear is healing nicely. He’ll have to come in for the next few days to get it dressed again, though.”
“And Mrs. Funaki?” Karin asked.
“Oh, her flu passed a few days ago. She brought her son in today with the same flu. I think her husband is next.”
Ichigo listened to the lighthearted conversation flow above the table. He joined in a few times to contribute his own experiences of the day but his thoughts kept scattering. He was still wondering why Ulquiorra was late – the Arrancar always showed up before dinner. It was surprising, but Ichigo had started thinking that Ulquiorra liked the atmosphere during dinner.
In the end, the red-head came to the conclusion that Ulquiorra was most likely at Kisuke’s. However, further into the evening, there was still no sign of Ulquiorra, and after phoning Kisuke, it appeared that the Arrancar hadn’t visited him. They started wondering if he had been attacked by a Hollow again. That didn’t seem very likely since Ulquiorra was strong enough to fend off any Hollow, but the incident when his arm had been hurt proved that the Arrancar could be careless. Or maybe he had been attacked by another Arrancar. There hadn’t been any significant reiatsu discharges, though, so Ichigo was inclined to reject this version.
- - -
It was midnight when Ulquiorra returned. Quietly, from his seat on the sofa, Ichigo watched him pass the kitchen wall and head straight to the fridge. Ichigo noted that he had returned empty-handed. The red-head gently took the sleeping cat off his lap and lowered her onto the sofa. Then he pocketed his phone, which he had been playing a game on, and walked towards Ulquiorra.
“Did something happen?”
Ulquiorra arranged the frying pan and a plate of meat on the stove. He shrugged. “Not really.”
“You could have phoned and told us that you were going to be late – we were worried.”
Ulquiorra wasn’t meeting Ichigo’s eyes and, expectant, the red-head leaned on the counter.
“I lost it,” Ulquiorra said somewhat awkwardly, but without much remorse. He turned on the burner and set the pan on it.
“Lost what?” Ichigo wanted specifications. “Your common sense?”
“No, not that. The phone.”
Ichigo was getting annoyed. “You can’t lose things so easily. It wasn’t even yours – I paid for it.”
“I know.”
Ready to snap, Ichigo waited for Ulquiorra to add that he hadn’t even wanted the phone, but Ulquiorra stayed silent. Sighing, Ichigo rubbed his forehead. “Where did you lose it?”
“If I knew that, it wouldn’t be lost.”
“Listen, I’m not in the mood for this,” Ichigo said angrily. Ulquiorra didn’t answer again and Ichigo just stared as the Arrancar arranged the meat on the pan and added spices to it. He doubted Ulquiorra had gotten rid of the phone on purpose, but it still annoyed him.
“So where were you?” Ichigo asked. He left the counter and returned to the sofa. Nori meowed sleepily and pressed herself against Ichigo’s thigh when he sat down and fell asleep again.
“Out of the city,” finally came the reply.
Ichigo wondered if the Arrancar was being dismissive with him. He realized that this made him feel upset. Nori began to purr while being stroked. What did Ulquiorra care about worrying other people? Did he even understand the concept of others being worried about him? He had been sitting on the sofa, like some faithful wife, waiting for Ulquiorra to return, and now he didn’t even have the right to preach. What could he say to Ulquiorra? True, he had saved the man’s life. However, he had taken it away before, and now he had to be grateful to Ulquiorra for saving his sisters. No matter how Ichigo looked at it, now <i>he</i> was the one in Ulquiorra’s debt.
Both Ichigo and Nori started in surprise at the loud clang when the frying pan and several spoons fell onto the floor. Chunks of sizzling meat and burning oil splattered across the floor. Ulquiorra was trying to turn off the burner, but he couldn’t quite grasp the knob with his shaky fingers. Swaying, he stepped onto one of the sizzling lumps of the meat, slipped and grabbed at the counter for support. That didn’t work so well since his hands had no strength in them at all and he fell down sideways onto the floor.
While rushing to Ulquiorra’s side, Ichigo could feel that there was something off with the Arrancar’s reiatsu – it was fluctuating strangely. He could hear the cat hissing behind him.
“What’s wrong?” Ichigo asked, leaning down to Ulquiorra, kicking the hot pan further down the floor, away from them. There was no answer and, not certain what to do, he hovered above Ulquiorra. The Arrancar was staring at the sideboard in front of him. Ichigo wasn’t able to see his face well, and tried to turn the other man on his back. That turned out to be a very strenuous task – he had not expected Ulquiorra to weigh so much. When he finally managed to do so, Ulquiorra’s hazy eyes concentrated on him then slid past Ichigo’s shoulder.
“Turn off the burner,” he muttered. “Go away.”
“To hell with the burner,” Ichigo grunted, shaking his head impatiently. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Stubborn as always,” Ulquiorra said, closing his eyes. His reiatsu was running wild now and it was dangerous for Ichigo to stay close to him while in his body. “I think…”
Ulquiorra didn’t finish his sentence, his face going slack and his body limp. His energy levels suddenly dropped to almost non-existent and his clothes started flickering then disappeared altogether. Ichigo could hear the house waking up, feet hurriedly rushing into the kitchen and he grabbed a hand towel off the counter. After throwing it over Ulquiorra’s midsection, he leaned down and tried to pick him up. He wasn’t even able to move him off the floor. Ichigo turned his head to Karin and his father, who had just rushed into the kitchen. They gaped at the sight of the nearly naked Arrancar lying amidst half-cooked chunks of meat and splattered oil and Ichigo leaning above him.
“My badge is…” Ichigo started, but at the sight of Kon, trailed off. He moved forward and grabbed the plushy bear. He pulled out the pill and swallowed it.
“What happened?” Isshin asked, watching his son pick the Arrancar up off the floor. He walked over to the stove and turned the burner off.
“He collapsed,” Ichigo said. He carried Ulquiorra to the sofa. “Was cooking one moment and was down on the floor the next.”
“Is he injured?”
Ichigo shook his head. “Not that I can see.” He laid the Arrancar down onto the sofa.
“Karin, get a bed sheet or something to cover him,” Isshin instructed at the sight of the towel shifting.
With a roll of her eyes, Karin hurried out of the kitchen.
“I think I’d better call Kisuke,” Isshin said when he felt the Arrancar’s reiatsu pick up again and shift strangely. “He’s more knowledgeable on these matters.” He headed towards the door then turned to look at Ichigo again. “Don’t let Karin or Yuzu near him. While his reiatsu is this unstable, it can seriously harm them.”
“Yes, I know,” Ichigo said with a nod.
Barefoot, Yuzu appeared in the kitchen, took one look at Ulquiorra, and rushed off somewhere. Soon Karin came in with a plaid. Ichigo took it and sent her to calm down Yuzu and go back to sleep. He knew they wouldn’t, though.
Kon grunted and stepped back when Ulquiorra’s reiatsu shot up. “Maybe he’s trying to self-destruct?” he muttered. The pressure was getting more and more intense. It was starting to feel as if someone was trying to strip off his skin.
“What in the world are you saying?” Ichigo asked.
“Well, maybe he realized he has no chance of catching us off-guard so he decided to explode himself and us altogether?”
“Just go to my room,” Ichigo said with a sigh. “It’s getting dangerous.”
Kon grunted derisively. “If his reiatsu goes out of control completely, neither your room nor the entire street will be safe.”
Ichigo knew Kon was right and his head kept turning towards the door while he waited desperately for Kisuke to appear, even though he knew the former captain wouldn’t come so quickly. Kon stared at Ulquiorra for a few more minutes, then heeded the red-head’s advice and went to his room.
Ichigo was relieved to finally see Kisuke enter the kitchen with his father in tow. Both of them were still holding mobile phones in their hands and Ichigo realized that they had been conversing right until Kisuke had reached the house.
“How long has he been like this?” Kisuke asked walking directly to the Arrancar on the sofa. He pressed his fingers to Ulquiorra’s temple. The skin was damp and unusually cold.
Uncertain, Ichigo glanced at the clock above the door. “Maybe about forty minutes.”
“Has his reiatsu been fluctuating like this the whole time?”
Ichigo nodded. “More or less. It stops sometimes, but then starts again.”
Kisuke and Isshin gave each other a look. “It’s dangerous to keep him here,” Kisuke said. “I’ll take him to the training grounds under the shop.”
Despite Ichigo not wanting Ulquiorra to be moved anywhere, he had to agree that was the best option. “Any idea what’s wrong with him?” he asked.
Kisuke’s gaze lingered on the Arrancar for some time before he replied. “I have a hunch, but I’m not sure yet. I don’t think this has ever happened before. I’ll need to do a few tests to make sure.”
Ichigo looked at Kisuke with a frown – he had no idea what the former captain was talking about, but it sounded serious. Amongst the many questions that arose in his mind, there was only one that he was able to form clearly: “Is he going to be alright?”
Avoiding his eyes, Kisuke leaned down to gather the listless body off the sofa. “I don’t know,” he said honestly.
ooOoOoOoo
When Ulquiorra opened his eyes, he saw a familiar blue-painted-on sky above. He blinked a few times and sat up. He was on a futon in the Urahara Shop Training Grounds, and he was wearing a Shinigami robe again. He couldn’t exactly remember what happened or why he was here, but he knew that he was hungry. There was a large number of spirit particles in the air and he immediately started absorbing them.
After looking around for a bit, he spotted the hot spring and decided to use the opportunity and soak in it. That was where he was found by Kisuke.
“Seems like you’re doing fine,” the former captain said from the edge while Ulquiorra washed his hair in the spring. “How are you feeling?”
Checking his senses, Ulquiorra took some time to answer. “Hungry,” he finally decided.
“Feel like eating me?”
The Arrancar gave him a surprised look. “Hm? No.” Intrigued, he measured Kisuke from head to toe. That was a little strange.
“Get out of the spring,” Kisuke told him. “We’ll see what we can find in the kitchen.” Then he noticed the Shinigami robe on the ground. “This again. Seems like you do it subconsciously.” He watched Ulquiorra leave the spring. The man picked up the Shinigami robe, frowned at it, and then dispersed the spirit particles. In a second, he was wearing his usual Arrancar outfit again. Kisuke rolled his eyes.
TBC
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The Heart in My Hand