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The Heart in My Hand	By : chayron Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 10028 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. It belongs to its respective owners. This fan fiction is not a commercial project, and I am not making any money from writing it.

Chapter List
- 1-Part 1
- 2-Part 2
- 3-Part 3
- 4-Part 4
- 5-Part 5
- 6-Part 6
- 7-Part 7
- 8-Part 8
- 9-Part 9
- 10-Part 10
- 11-Part 11
- 12-Part 12
- 13-Part 13
- 14-Part 14
- 15-Part 15
- 16-Part 16
- 17-Part 17
- 18-Part 18
- 19-Part 19
- 20-Part 20
- 21-Part 21
- 22-Part 22
- 23-Part 23
- 24-Part 24
- 25-Part 25
- 26-Part 26
- 27-Part 27
- 11
- 12
- 13
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach – it belongs to its respective owners. This fan fiction is not a commercial project, and I am not making any money from writing it.
Warnings:
1. Yaoi (male x male). Ulquiorra x Ichigo and vice versa. Other pairings?
2. Ichigo – almost 19 years old; Ulquiorra – probably a few hundred as a Hollow and about a decade or so as an Arrancar?
3. Post anime (haven’t read the manga).
4. Alternate Universe.
5. I’m not a native speaker, thus expect various language oddities.
6. I’m not very familiar with all the details in the anime, and I am also new to Bleach fandom, so I will be straying away from the canon quite frequently. I do my research but Bleach is a vast universe that is not so easy to grasp. I must admit, though, that there are also things in the anime that don’t make sense to me and I take the liberty of recreating certain parts of this universe as I see fit.
The Heart in My Hand
by chayron (lttomb@yahoo.com), beta-read by Ash
Part 12
Chad was surprised to hear Ichigo on the phone. The red-head began to think that he should start calling his friend more often, not just when he and his family were under threat. Feeling a little guilty, he arranged to meet Chad by Karasu River, near his home in half an hour.
It was already dark, but the familiar streets didn’t rouse any suspicion. When Ichigo got to the river, Chad was already waiting, sitting on a bench near the water. His friend looked even bigger than he remembered. He was clearly working out. They greeted each other as they always had and the awkwardness disappeared. It felt as if the time gap after high school never happened. They took a walk along the river.
“Are you still working in that pet shop?” Ichigo asked, rearranging his feet unhurriedly. Chad nodded, and Ichigo wasn’t surprised. There were few things that interested Chad. He had always liked animals. MEOW was a big pet shop in the middle of Karukura Town, offering all kinds of pets. The pay was probably pretty decent there as well.
“Sometimes Yuzu comes in to play with the cats after school.”
“Oh,” Ichigo said, surprised. “Well, we are getting a kitten. Umm…from my friend at university,” he added a little guiltily. “She’s got a lot of kittens.”
“That’s good. I can tell that she’ll take care of it.”
Chad was a man of few words. When he talked, it was straight to the point. Most of the time he was quiet, floating in his own thoughts, in his own world. Despite that, Ichigo had always felt comfortable around him. There was something soothing about Chad’s silence.
“Have you heard anything about Xcution lately?” Ichigo asked.
“Xcution?” Chad said. “No. I left after everything that happened and haven’t kept in contact with any of them.”
“I see.”
“Did something happen?”
“Some Xcution members tried to kidnap Yuzu and Karin yesterday.”
Chad stopped walking. “Are they alright?”
“Yeah, they’re fine,” Ichigo answered, stopping as well.
“I did feel a disturbance near your house yesterday, but it was already over when I got there.”
“Why didn’t you call me?”
Chad shrugged. He was curious about that as well. Past Ichigo’s shoulder, he cast a look at the slowly flowing river. He knew Ichigo was busy. Somehow the red-head managed to get himself into all kinds of situations.
“Two attackers were killed, another taken for interrogation,” Ichigo told him. “We’re still looking for the fourth, the mastermind behind this. His name’s Akira Kawaguchi. Have you heard anything about him?”
Chad shook his head. “No, I don’t know him.”
“Have you noticed anything strange lately?” Ichigo insisted.
“Not really. You can ask Ulquiorra, though. He’s been hanging around Karakura lately, hunting Hollows. Maybe he knows.”
Ichigo stared at him. “Ulquiorra?”
“Yeah,” Chad confirmed. “Don’t you remember him? Short Arrancar, green Zanpakuto, he’s the one who kidnapped Orihime back then.”
“Ah,” Ichigo muttered, uncertain. It seemed that no one had informed Chad about the situation. The red-head wondered shortly what Ulquiorra would think of being called a short kidnapper, but anyone next to Chad’s nearly two meter’s height seemed petite. “Um… Did you try fighting him?”
“Fight Ulquiorra?” Chad asked a little surprised. “No, he wasn’t aggressive. I asked him what he was doing in Karakura and he told me he was lying low for awhile before returning to Hueco Mundo.”
Ichigo scratched his head. He and Ulquiorra obviously had a different understanding of what “lying low” meant. Soon everyone in the town would know about him. Ulquiorra could be strange at times. The Arrancar had never mentioned meeting Chad either, much less talking to him.
“It’s a long story,” Ichigo said, “but Ulquiorra lives in my house.”
To his credit, Chad didn’t look very surprised; he rarely did. “I see.” He started walking again. “I’ve got time. How about you?”
- - -
Ichigo was in a good mood when he was walking back home. It felt great to see a friend after a long time. He had explained the situation involving Ulquiorra to Chad and gave more details on Xcution. When they were saying their goodbyes, Chad invited him to come to the pet shop and promised to help find everything a cat might need.
The red-head was walking across the bridge when he felt a familiar spark of energy in the air. He looked around but didn’t spot anything. He was about to tell Ulquiorra to stop hiding and come out, but caught sight of movement on a nearby roof and, in a few jumps, the Arrancar appeared on the bridge guardrail. Then he landed next to Ichigo.
“You’re good at sensing reiatsu,” Ulquiorra remarked.
“Of course I am,” Ichigo told him, continuing to walk. He took note that Ulquiorra had changed his clothes. He hoped the Arrancar had changed before going to Kisuke’s. He wasn’t certain how the former captain would react to a bloodied Arrancar showing up on his doorstep.
Ulquiorra fell in step next to Ichigo. “Did he know anything?”
Ichigo shook his head. “No. He hasn’t kept in contact with them.” He could see that Ulquiorra was favoring his left arm, keeping it straight. It was going to heal in a day or so but it still bothered Ichigo since it seemed painful.
“So did Kisuke give you a watch?” Ichigo was intrigued by the look on Ulquiorra’s face that appeared after his question. It was the same look that the red-head had seen when he had wanted to tape the Hollow hole on Ulquiorra’s chest, and the same look when he demanded Ulquiorra not to eat a Hollow. It was a look of sheer confusion.
“He gave me this,” Ulquiorra said, pulling a red mobile phone out of his pocket. “How do I use it?”
Ichigo grunted. “Ugh. Why didn’t he just give you a watch?”
“He told me I had a lot of catching up to do,” Ulquiorra explained, tapping the screen. “It’s not that I mind, but he told me nothing of how to use it. Does it show the time?”
“Yeah. Did he give you a charger?”
“A what? He charged you ten thousand yen for this,” Ulquiorra said, waving the phone in his hand. “He said you have to pay in a week’s time.”
“That bastard! No, I mean did he give you anything else with the phone? Like a white or black cable?”
“Yes, there is something like that in the box that came with this.”
Since Ichigo had a very clear premonition that, while they were on the bridge, the only place the phone would go was into the water, he waited until they reached the end of the bridge before showing Ulquiorra the basic features of the phone. He was impressed with how quickly the Arrancar could catch on. The problem was that Ulquiorra had trouble using it with his injured arm. He didn’t appear happy when informed that he could now be reached anywhere, either. Sensing that the other man would just throw the phone away if annoyed, Ichigo showed him how to mute and turn it off. He, however, had his doubts about Ulquiorra receiving many calls.
When they got to the house, everyone was getting ready to go to bed. Ulquiorra’s phone was passed around and everyone’s phone numbers were entered. Ichigo didn’t even pretend to understand how it could work with both spiritual and material networks.
Kon had already been rescued from the washing-machine and was walking around, rearranging his damp feet carefully on the floor. At the sight of Ichigo, he nearly went berserk. Karin had to tear him away from Ichigo’s leg since he kept trying to chew it off with his plush mouth.

“I know you saw me in the washing-machine!” he screeched.
“It wasn’t me who put you in there and I think you deserved it,” Ichigo told him, making Kon nearly explode with rage.
“You! Ungrateful… How dare you say that! How…” Kon trailed off, realizing that he had a better target for letting his anger out; Ichigo barely reacted to his complaints anymore. He glared at Ulquiorra. “What are you looking at?” he demanded. “You think this is funny, don’t you? Let me tell you that nothing’s funny about this! And where did you take Ichigo? Are you already making plans to usurp this family? Where are you going? Hey, listen to me when I’m talking to you!”
Ignoring the bear, Ulquiorra walked towards the stairs to the second floor. Growling, Kon latched onto the Arrancar’s left arm in an attempt to prevent him from leaving. Ulquiorra stopped. His body straight as an arrow, he turned his head to look down at the bear attached to his arm. Before he could tear the Modified Soul to pieces, Ichigo grabbed Kon and took his paws off Ulquiorra’s injured arm as gently as he could. Then he ran outside, holding Kon. Ulquiorra nearly bolted after them but managed to stop himself. Slowly, he turned to stare at the wall in front of him and started counting in his head. He did so until the irresistible urge to chase Kon and tear that stupid creature limb from limb disappeared.
Ichigo and Kon spent about ten minutes walking outside on the streets. The red-head explained to Kon what had happened and advised him not bother Ulquiorra. He doubted there was much point in saying that, though. When Ichigo decided that it was safe to return, Ulquiorra was already on the second floor, in his room. Ichigo took a shower, brushed his teeth and went to his room as well.
Lying on his bed, Ichigo cast a look at Ulquiorra’s futon, where the Arrancar was sitting. He had torn his sleeve off and was looking at his injured arm, trying to flex it. He couldn’t press his fingers into a fist. Kon had probably made it worse.
“Does it hurt?”
Ulquiorra looked up at him. “Not really. It looks worse than it is.”
Ichigo slipped out from under the covers and sat down next to the futon to take a closer look. Indeed, it was almost healed, the red slashes still visible, but not gaping as it had first appeared. That was high-speed regeneration for you. Ulquiorra was able to regenerate limbs in the blink of an eye, but proper functioning required a little more time.
“You know that Orihime is good with these kinds of wounds,” the red-head told him. “Why didn’t you let her heal it?”
“I didn’t want to,” Ulquiorra said.
Ichigo, who was still looking at the claw-marks on the Arrancar’s upper arm, could feel the other’s curious eyes on him. He wanted to ask why Ulquiorra was against it, but never voiced the question. Ichigo shifted awkwardly.
“So how did this happen?”
“I was careless.”
“That’s kind of obvious,” Ichigo pointed out.
Ulquiorra chuckled. “Indeed. Won’t happen next time.”
“Good.” Sighing, Ichigo moved and sat cross-legged on the futon so the floor stopped freezing his behind. “You know,” he started, “at the rate things are going, you’ll probably have to flee soon. You stand out too much. I can always sense you all over the place.”
Ulquiorra moved his arm behind him, out of the red-head’s sight. Ichigo’s proximity was a little disturbing. “I don’t think she’ll tell anyone,” he said.
Ichigo shrugged. He wasn’t so sure about that. She might if she thought it was the right thing to do. Rukia aside, there were too many people who knew where Ulquiorra was. This wasn’t a question of “if”, it was the question of “when”.
“I’ll keep my promise, though,” the red-head said. “Once you’ve regained your strength, we’ll have to do something about Mayuri.”
“You don’t have to.”
“Of course I do.”
Ichigo sounded resolute and Ulquiorra looked at him. Ichigo amazed him sometimes. This situation didn’t have anything to do with Ichigo at all, yet the red-head was putting himself at risk in order to satisfy that strange sense of “justice” that he harbored. He was not quite right in the head.
Feeling awkward under the emerald gaze, Ichigo lowered his eyes to the floor and spotted the phone next to the futon. It was near the pillow, but Ichigo still wondered if the Arrancar would just step on it in the morning. The phone was upside down and it gave Ichigo an idea.
“Do you know how to read the numbers it shows?” he asked Ulquiorra.
“Of course I do.”
“Just checking. I was told a while ago that Hollows don’t measure time.”
“That’s true – they don’t,” Ulquiorra agreed. “No one did before Aizen taught us. Most of them still don’t.”
“So how do you know what time it is, then?”
Ulquiorra’s eyebrows furrowed. It seemed that Ichigo failed to grasp the concept of not measuring time. Humans were strange. “We don’t.”
“But…” Ichigo trailed off, trying to organize his thoughts. “But how do you arrange to meet someone?”
“We don’t.”
“But how do you make arrangements to…meet friends?” Ichigo insisted.
“Ichigo, we don’t. We don’t have friends. If you see a few Hollows together it means that one of them is strong enough to keep the rest as lackeys.”
“But…”
“Why are you so interested in Hollows anyway?”
Ichigo pursed his lips stubbornly. “I’m just trying to understand you better.”
Ulquiorra chuckled. The sound was unusual and strangely sincere. “I’m not a Hollow. Aizen changed everything.”
Ichigo turned to the side and stretched his legs on the futon next to Ulquiorra, getting more comfortable. “That’s what I’m trying to understand – why did you agree to serve him? You don’t look the kind that likes to be ordered around.”
Ulquiorra leaned back, away from Ichigo, trying to retain his personal space. “He found me and asked me to,” he explained. “I could have refused, but he would have killed me.” Shortly, Ulquiorra wondered why he was telling Ichigo this. Then he decided that none of it mattered anymore – that part of his life was already over. “I had no reason to refuse – he offered me something new, something I was interested in. He gave me a reason to live.”
The red-head stared at the other man, frowning. “A reason to live?”
Ulquiorra nodded. “He gave my life a purpose. That was all I could have asked for, and he knew I’d always be loyal to him for that exact reason.”
“Even now?” Ichigo asked suspiciously. No matter how grateful Ulquiorra seemed, it was just wrong. Aizen had simply exploited Ulquiorra, just as he had all of his other creations. He was certain Ulquiorra understood that as well.
Ulquiorra gave the red-head an amused look. “Do you think I would be telling you this if I had any plans to free him?”
“I don’t know,” Ichigo said honestly. “I don’t know you well enough and your mindset is completely different from mine.”
“True. I think I know your mindset pretty well, though.”
Ichigo rolled his eyes. Ulquiorra was teasing him again. “What will you do when you go back to Hueco Mundo?”
The question made Ulquiorra think. He truly missed Hueco Mundo – it was his home, but he wasn’t certain what he would do once he returned. He knew that he would not be able to go back to his lifestyle as a Hollow – he had changed too much, and he was still changing. There was also the matter of Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. The other Arrancar was going to find him sooner or later and was going to bother him. He could guarantee it.
Ulquiorra shrugged. “We’ll see.” He tensed in surprise when Ichigo suddenly reached out to touch the side of his head.
“It doesn’t seem like it’s healing,” the red-head said, carefully tracing the jagged corners of the Hollow mask with his fingers. “How long does it normally take for it to heal?”
Interested, Ulquiorra watched the other man. Was Ichigo just clueless or was he being suggestive? “Depends.”
“Hmm…”
“When you sit so close, you make me want to…”
“…To eat me?” Ichigo finished for him with an indignant snort. He retracted his hand angrily.
Ulquiorra blinked. The red-head was glaring at him challengingly. True, Ichigo smelled as pleasant as ever but, currently, the thought of eating Ichigo seemed very strange. Was Ichigo really that oblivious?
“No, not exactly,” the Arrancar said, amused. “Other things.”
“What things?” Ichigo demanded. “What do you want to do to me? To fry me first then eat me?” Ichigo spat. He was about to say something more, his eyes flashing angrily. He leaned forward at the same time as Ulquiorra.
“No, Ichigo,” Ulquiorra whispered into his ear. “Other things.”
Ichigo froze. The voice was soft, seductive and amused all at once. The red-head wasn’t certain he had heard or understood right. Wide-eyed, he pushed at Ulquiorra’s chest, leaning away from him. Then red exploded all over his face.
“Uh…” Ichigo stammered after a few moments of stunned silence.

“I’m not going to attack you,” Ulquiorra said, indicating Ichigo’s hands, which were still raised in front of him, as if putting up a barrier between himself and Ulquiorra.
“Err…” Ichigo muttered, lowering his hands.
“Not when you’re in your Human body,” Ulquiorra added. “And it’s not like I stand a chance with the current difference in our power levels and my injury.” He had only teased Ichigo but the red-head’s eyes had grown wide in alarm again. That, for some reason, annoyed Ulquiorra.
ooOoOoOoo
Ichigo peeled his eyelids apart and blinked his bloodshot eyes at the bedside cabinet. His alarm was going off like there was no tomorrow. Groaning, Ichigo slapped his hand onto the mobile phone and ceased the noise. He’d barely slept. The reason for his lack of sleep was sitting on his futon wide awake and well-rested.
The red-head grunted at the sight of Ulquiorra and shut his eyes again. In addition to being sleepy, he was sprouting an erection. His morning wood stood proudly at attention and Ichigo turned on his side to hide it. Any other time, he would have just taken care of it.
Dazed, Ichigo stared at the wall in front of him. The situation reminded him of when Rukia used to hide in his closet. He used to have no privacy at all. Those teenage days had been full of frustration. Long after she had finally left, he would still check the closet to make sure he was alone.
Thinking about his lectures usually made his erection go away. He could hear Ulquiorra moving about. A few minutes after the Arrancar left, Ichigo managed to tame his unruly erection. He dressed and climbed downstairs, where Ulquiorra was already having breakfast with everyone. Isshin was also at the table, sipping tea and watching the morning news. Kon was sitting quietly next to Isshin, opposite from the Arrancar.
After everyone had breakfast, they left the house, while Isshin got ready to open the clinic. This time Ulquiorra felt Rukia’s energy only after the sisters had gotten into the bus. The Shinigami stayed further away this time. He didn’t feel like taking the bus either. A Fullbringer, however, wasn’t easy to identify when they suppressed their energy. Any student climbing into the bus could be one. Thus, even if reluctantly, Ulquiorra went after the sisters into the bus. He could feel the Shinigami following them, jumping from one roof to another, just as Ulquiorra would have preferred. He was losing his skill and shape. Normally, he fought or sparred with other Arrancars to retain his speed and agility. Aizen turned a blind eye to minor squabbling amongst Arrancars, even encouraged them in order to establish hierarchy and stop future conflicts. That, however, hardly ever worked with Hollows. They just continued to attack each other chaotically until one of them was dead.
Perhaps he would have luck talking Ichigo into sparring with him. On the other hand, he hadn’t regained his strength yet and it wasn’t certain that Ichigo would bother with him. He could try the older Kurosaki or Urahara, but had a feeling that the two would refuse. He didn’t trust them much either.
Ulquiorra saw the girls off to school and went to hunt. He still had enough food to last him a couple of days, but yesterday, while he had been following Ichigo, he had noticed a few Hollows in the river. He had never eaten Hollows of that type. In fact, that had been the first time he had seen them since there were no lakes or rivers in Hueco Mundo. That particular species was probably only found in the Human World. Ulquiorra wasn’t certain, but it seemed that these particular Hollows had adapted to hunt either Humans or fish and other water animals. Humans probably didn’t even realize why some of them drowned in various water sources.
In about thirty minutes, Ulquiorra had fished out three strange Hollows from the river. They were small in size and of weird shapes with an unusual smell. Still, they were clusters of spirit particles and seemed edible.
Ulquiorra carried the third fishlike Hollow to the other two on the river bank that he had caught earlier. When he reached the spot, he noticed a Hollow lurking not too far away, staring at his prey. The little Hollow had good self-preservation instincts and didn’t come any closer, even though it was obviously hungry. Ulquiorra gathered his catch and, just before leaving the river, noticed the little Hollow dive into the water. He wondered if it had ever thought about fishing earlier.
The Kurosakis’ house was close to the fishing spot he had chosen, but he was only half-way there when he suddenly felt a familiar spell of dizziness coming. This time was worse than the previous two: he blacked out. Just before that, he could feel his energy fluctuating, its shape and flow unstable, changing randomly, rising higher.
When he came to, he was lying on the same roof where he had passed out. He checked his phone and saw that two hours had gone by. The unusual Hollows he had caught were still beside him. The next time this happened, he might not be so lucky. A random Hollow or Shinigami might come to check what the unstable power discharges were. Now the flow of his energy was stable again even though he could tell that there was something a little unusual about it. He couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was, though.
Ulquiorra picked up the three Hollows again and flash-stepped to the Kurosakis’ house. He was just in time to see Urahara Kisuke climb into Ichigo’s room through the window. Curious, Ulquiorra hovered above the house then followed him. The former captain was already making himself comfortable on the red-head’s bed.
“What are you doing here?” Ulquiorra asked, floating down from the windowsill and to the floor.
“Who? Me?” Kisuke asked. He gave the Arrancar a long, searching look. “I just came for a visit.”
Ulquiorra ignored the stare. “Through the window?” he grunted. “When Ichigo is away at his…university or whatever the place is? Spare me.”
Kisuke fanned himself leisurely and watched the other man. “Don’t ask me if you already know the answer.” He motioned at the Hollows Ulquiorra was carrying. “That’s quite an interesting species you have there.”
“Yes, I discovered it only yesterday.”
Kisuke hummed, closing his fan. He scratched his chin with it and slid off the bed. “I’ll visit Isshin while I’m at it.”
Ulquiorra wondered if Urahara had kept watch over him while he had been unconscious. It didn’t really matter, though, since the former captain had his own reasons to do so.
“So what will happen to me?” Ulquiorra asked before Kisuke could head downstairs.
Kisuke turned around. He shrugged. “Who knows?”
TBC
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The Heart in My Hand