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Bullets and Blades	By : SunsetStarlight Category: Bleach > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 2114 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or its characters. I do not make any profit from this story.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
Ichigo lay quietly on the bed. All Grimmjow could do was stare at his face, not even bothering to glance anywhere else around the lavish room. He'd driven a few cities away before renting a high price apartment in the surety that no one would find them here until he was ready for them too. He knew deep down that he wouldn't be able to face anything until he faced the young man lying unconscious on his bed. A stirring of sheets drew his stare and blue eyes met smaller eyes of an identical blue. Grimmjow stared into the shocked eyes of his son. His hands shook as he reached out for Naka, afraid he would pull away and overwhelmed with relief as Naka ran into his arms willingly. What had happened back there was a classic case of when Grimmjow's anger took over and Sexta did whatever the fuck he wanted without thought to consequences. He took in the scent of his baby and let it calm him.

"Dada did bad." Naka cried. "Bad. Bad."

Grimmjow just whispered reassurances to the truth of those words until Naka's little body grew heavy with renewed sleep. He carried him out of the bedroom and into the living room, laying him gently on the couch before making his own way to the kitchen nook. The blue eyed ex-gangster didn't know how to cook much, but everyone knew how to make fried rice. He took his time to make it right and made sure to have some iced pomegranate juice ready for his baby boy. The smell of food had the little boy waking up in no time. Just as Grimmjow was filling up bowls and sticking forks in them on the table, Mayonaka was standing in the kitchen and rubbing his eyes. His father sat down the last bowl, walked around the table, and grabbed his son in his large hands. Naka curled up against his dada's chest and sat willingly in his lap when they sat at the table.

"You hungry, baby?" Grimmjow asked gently, not wanting to scare the boy anymore than he might be already.

Naka nodded and opened his mouth to receive the pointed end of the fork Grimmjow brought to it with rice piled on. The boy usually fed himself at home, but the large forks in the apartment were a bit too much for his toddler hands. Grimmjow didn't mind feeding him though, he actually enjoyed it. Being so close to this other human who he'd helped create brought a sort of tranquil peace to him wherever he happened to be. The little boy was like a portable calm enforcer on the ex-gangster and he didn't know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing considering all the shit he would have to be dealing with soon piled onto all the other shit he'd already had to deal with when he first showed up there. Staring at the child, all he could think about was Nelliel. She'd been the most innocent creature to ever be born in this world and he didn't have to wonder about the kinds of shit that had been done to her if she'd been in Yammy's care.

He'd been there, lived beside the sick fuck. He knew better than anyone besides the victims what kind of soul scarring, spirit destroying shit went on between Yammy and his conquests. His hand shook so bad at the thought of his baby sister being destroyed inside and out like that, that he had to put down the fork in his hand and grip the table for stability. Soon enough his whole body began shaking. His heart, his lungs, his stomach, his brain, just everything began shaking uncontrollably and his eyes burned with the fire of the sun and liquid just as hot rolled down the flesh of his face until he just couldn't hold it in anymore at the touch of a small hand on his head and the sobs rushed up his throat and out of his mouth. He'd failed her, failed his little sister all her life. He was a worthless brother, an awful boyfriend, and Kami knew he could never be a proper father. She was gone forever. He could never save her, never give her the relief of knowing that the pain was gone and it would never happen again. He'd never be able to look into her eyes and say that it would be alright, that he was there for her, that he would protect her. He'd never see her smile again, or laugh. Never brush that beautiful green hair over and over until she finally went to sleep, never see her surprise at having a nephew, never pull his hair out on their shopping escapades, having no idea what clothes were considered proper for a little girl. He'd never simply hold her hand again, just feel the warmth of her life in his hand and know that if he could keep it safe, could protect it, everything would be alright and he'd give her better than she'd ever have. He slammed his head down on the table and just cried. There was nothing else he could do.

Ichigo watched quietly as Grimmjow cried at the table, head lying next to a bowl of fried rice, and Naka's little hand running through blue hair almost identical to his own. The grief had finally caught officially caught up with him it seemed. The rage had already been let out in text book fashion for the volatile ex-Espada. Ichigo's head was still throbbing, but it wasn't something he couldn't live through. He was furious that he'd lost Rukia and Kaien, but is wasn't something he couldn't live through. The only thing that stopped him from wanting to kill Grimmjow right at that moment was that he'd felt Shiro's life still thrumming with his own when he'd woken up. His twin had been found in enough time for him to make if after being shot. If he wasn't mistaken, Grimmjow had probably avoided shooting his twin in the head on purpose, knowing he was the one person Ichigo could never live with having been killed by Grimmjow.

It hurt him inside to see Grimmjow cry like that. He'd never really seen it happen before. He just couldn't be angry with him. You couldn't be angry at a child who had a tantrum when they find out their puppy was ran over by their older brother on his way to a party he wasn't supposed to be going to, and you couldn't be angry at a man who'd found out that the one friend he'd trusted had betrayed him and given the one thing he'd been trying to keep safe over to her inevitable death and that he'd been lying to him about it for years. Grimmjow had simply gone off and let go. He knew no other way to deal with his anger, Ichigo had known that when he'd first started seeing him and he knew it when he'd decided to give things another try with him again. He was angry with Shiro too, for trying to protect Abirama even though he would have probably done the same.

Still, the resulting war that would no doubt be in progress was nothing to look forward too. He could stop it, but did he really want to. Could he? Just because he couldn't stay furious, did that mean he could deny the fact that Grimmjow should get what was coming to him? He stared at that strong man, that surprisingly caring and loving man, holding on to his son as if he were the last lifeline he had in the entire universe and he wasn't going to ever let go…and he just knew the answer was yes. Yes, he could deny it. He didn't want anything else to happen to Grimmjow, to harm him physically or emotionally. He loved Grimmjow too much to want that. Even he, himself, hadn't known how much he loved the man until that very moment. He was hungry and he'd deal with that first. Walking into the kitchen, he was greeted with startled blue eyes as he sat at the table.

"Orange!" Naka yelled happily.

The little boy was obviously happy to see Ichigo, but it was telling and touching that he didn't remove himself from Grimmjow's arms. All he could do was hold tight to the boy and stare Ichigo. His brown eyes were full of resolve and inner strength. He'd braced himself for all kinds of yelling, hatred, just about everything besides whatever was happening. He wiped his face with the palm of his hand and sighed the kind of weary sigh he'd only ever heard from Starrk.

"You've decided." He said to Ichigo. "What are you gonna do now?"

Ichigo lifted his forkful of rice and slid it in between his lips. The wait for him to chew and swallow seemed like minutes instead of seconds. Ichigo sighed.

"Well, I'm not hating you, but that's only because I understand. I know I would do the same if it was me and Naka. And Shiro isn't dead. Kaien and Rukia, I can forgive you for eventually because while I know you're not sorry for killing them, I know that you're sorry that killing them hurt me. You're not normal Girmmjow, and I can't go judging you by normal standards. I've known that since I've known you. You've suffered more than enough, I don't want you to suffer anymore. You have to let me go though."

"Why?"

"I have to go back to the Vizards. I'm their leader and they need me in the chaos you've left behind. I also need to call them off of you. I'm going to stand with you against the Reapers and Aizen. I'll help you kill who need killing, save who needs saving, and everything else you need from my crew and I, but when we're done. I don't want to see you for a while."

Grimmjow held Naka even tighter. He'd just gotten the boy and now Ichigo was planning on taking him away for however long he saw fit. Just after he'd lost his sister for good he was going to lose his son. He'd kill himself first before living that kind of empty life. Ichigo and Naka were all he had left, if he couldn't have them then his life was already over. He wasn't going to tell him that though, he wasn't going to try and change his mind. It just meant that he no longer had anything to lose and he'd be heading for Aizen and the Reapers in full force. Without thought, without care, without mercy, without feeling, without fear. Grimmjow would go away with the last two things in the world he loved and only Sexta would remain. He stared into those beautiful brown eyes, knowing he'd never see them so clearly as he did now, not after his soul left him for good.

"Whatever you need, baby."

The words were odd coming from Grimmjow and Ichigo felt like he'd just crushed his own future into broken glass and burnt metal. Grimmjow wasn't looking at him anymore and just sat there in silence, apparently soaking in the presence of their baby boy while he still could. Ichigo sighed and felt himself on the verge of tears. He cried inside as he shoveled more rice into his mouth. There was nothing else he could do.
- 11
- 12
- 13
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Bullets and Blades