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Salvation	By : Mirrors1984 Category: Bleach > Het - Male/Female Views: 13169 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Tite Kubo's Bleach or make any profit from this fic.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
Chapter 11
The next morning things were as Ichigo had half-expected. Upon awakening, he had procrastinated going downstairs out of shame and self-disgust over what he had made Tatsuki do with him. Though she had been willing, what he had done was in his point of view close to consensual rape. He had taken advantage of her inexperience to satiate his sickening curiousity and selfish hungry needs. The moments before he had dared to seek her out had been pure agony. Dirty images that he hadn't even tested out on her had plagued his mind. It had made him feel ill in a way, just lying in that lonely bed, wanting her and writhing without something tight to move inside of.
How many times had he insulted himself after she had left his room? There was no valid excuse for what he had done to their friendship. His actions had practically cracked the fragile trust he had barely begun to gain once more and maybe this time the brokeness was unrepairable.
It was haunting him even as he sat among his family members that ate in steely silence. Perhaps that was what made him so empty inside at present. How his family somehow mirrored his bleak perspective. There was no laughter or loud crashes. Even his father hadn't tried to kick him or goad him into a fight. The only one that had dared to greet him upon entering the kitchen that morning had been Yuzu, who after sitting down to eat with them, had become just as quiet and twitchy as the rest of them.
Tatsuki probably hated his guts and didn't want to see him. That was why she was still upstairs, feigning sleep. Karin had muttered something along the lines of that at least. He knew that she was just pretending to be lying down so she could take time to gather enough bearings to face him.
Such was the awkwardness in which she had left him in the early morning hours. After he had spent himself on her, laying limply over her shivering form, she had untangled herself from him, taking away that smooth warmth he had been enjoying. It was then that it became clear to him.
She regretted having sex with him. The way in which she had dressed in silence and murmured a 'good-night' before leaving him baffled and naked on his bed had been answer enough. He couldn't blame her for not wanting to see him after how he had dirtied her. That was the only way he could see it as... Dirtying.
Tatsuki wasn't meant to enter into his permanent wallowing. He had indirectly made her a part of it by taking full advantage of how he affected her body. Just pure manipulation and psychological tactics. Pressing and taunting until she became willing participant.
He was sick and the moment he had her under him with her insides clasping him firmly enough to hurt his cock, there had been no remorse. The lust distorting his thoughts had been that blinding.
She's my fucking friend! How could I... drag her into my problems?! He knew why and was avoiding the truth like the coward that he was.
He needed her. In spite of how feverish were his thoughts, there was still that yearning to have her around him. She was someone familiar, comforting and also... so increadibly new to him. Sex always did that to people; made them seem different than they usually were. While joining her, he had forgotten what his cold darkness felt like. Unlike all of those times in the past that he thought about it even in the middle of sex, teasing her until getting inside had thrust away his void and filled it with something that he could not see, touch, sense or begin to fathom.
A fullness that he'd never experienced had been with Tatsuki. The selfish, careless side of him wanted to feel that again even if she had seen through his sexual torturing. In the past, he had never used such teasing methods to get what he wanted in bed, but testing it out on Tatsuki left him cold and disgusted. Overwhelming her had been easy, as well as pushing her over the edge with his words. Over the past year, he had learned things that made sex seem almost like a joke.
Usually he just made out with a girl or gave subtle hints until they practically jumped him and blatantly offered themselves... Not Tatsuki though. How could he have done this to Tatsuki?! He knew that she was only trying to help him learn to cope without completely destroying himself and the way he had paid her actions as a friend was by 'talking' her into spreading her legs.
He couldn't stop thinking about it and it was wrenching at his insides. As if he hadn't suffered enough pain to begin with, this new 'fuck up' added more to it. His body had enjoyed itself, yet his mind... his mind couldn't bear it! Whenever he felt the remorse crawling into his mind, he would see images of the things his friend had done for him... Them as children, as preteens to teenagers. Silly things like how she had tried to teach him how to fight better when he could barely throw a punch, how she made fun of him whenever he did something utterly stupid and even the blows she landed on him the times that he had done something callous.
She wasn't supposed to be a part of this. His damned self-absorbtion was not to blame. What was to blame was his weakness in times of pain and confusion that brought said greediness.
His eyes glanced at the most tense of his sisters.
Karin didn't look desolate, but whenever her eyes took a distant quality while chewing her food he could catch glimmers of a numbed sadness that just reminded him of how his foolish lust had him snapping at her.
He would apoligize if he knew what would make her trust him again, even if it was remotely. He had lashed out because she wanted to shelter Tatsuki from the new hateful version of him. Instead of that helping him understand his problem, it had pissed him off because his true intentions had become too obvious to everyone with her remarks.
His family shouldn't ever know. He had caused them enough worries as a child centering on his own guilt to dump this new mess on them. There was no use in worrying them with easily avoidable mistakes.
Lusting after Tatsuki hadn't been as avoidable as he would have wished. It had complicated his infinite turmoil because she was someone he actually cared about and held in high regard... Not someone he could easily forget about. With her, he had felt all of her and had been so sexually sensitive it was a miracle he hadn't hurt her in a frenzy.
"Tatsuki-chan!" Yuzu, perked up in front of him, all of her uncomfortable wary gloom disappearing instantly.
All blood drained from his face at knowing that the object of his constant thoughts was standing right behind him. Stiffening, his head lowered slightly as his cheeks chilled at the sensation of smallness he got in her presence.
Just act normal. She probably feels weird too.
Gulping, he schooled a expression of normalcy as she walked around the small table to sit beside his beaming younger sister. Karin who was beside him, gave her older friend a slight smile in greeting while Isshin just blurted out.
"What the heck did you do last night that had you sleeping so long?!"
Ichigo's eyes widened in terror just as hers did. She looked like she always did, though a bit tired compared to the twins she had supposedly spent the night watching movies with. She was wearing the same clothes she had used the day before and her face was clean as if she had washed up before going downstairs. Just seeing her had him recalling the hushed things they had done together in his room...
And not once had she looked at him.
"Um," she blinked, her cheeks getting slightly pink, "I guess I was still feeling sick from yesterday." A forced smirk lifted the corner of her lips and her eyes nervously looked down at the offered plate of food laid out in front of her.
"Is that it?! Well you are almost glowing for some reason! If I didn't know any better," a mischiveous smile split Isshin's face, "I'd say you had se-!"
"Will you shut it?!" Ichigo spat, interrupting the obvious words his father was about to use.
He sometimes says the most fucked up shit imaginable even in front of the twins.
Looking surprised, his father was dubiously innocent in claiming, "But I was just kidding, Ichigo! I know she didn't do something like that!" A snort and eyeroll followed his defensive exclamations.
"What are you taking about, Dad?" Yuzu who was sometimes too innocent for her own good, asked curiously.
Isshin, being a brainless idiot like always, was about to tell her but Ichigo cut off his words.
"It's nothing that important," he growled, his smoldering eyes not leaving Isshin's now sulking face, "just stupid perverted crap Dad makes up to bug people." And him most of all, though this time Tatsuki had almost fallen victim to his odd humor.
Who am I to talk? I'm a fucking pervert myself. That sobering thought had him grinding his molars as bitterness ate at him
Feeling eyes on him, he shot a brief glance at Tatsuki who looked away just as he did. Her face had become redder with an easily discernable expression of embarassment.
He had messed up again. Why did he keep doing this?! He thought he had been over that so many times!
Breakfast passed among them with a few said comments that he didn't join into. Tatsuki spoke, almost normaly yet the flushed cheeks and strange trembling that sometimes came over her features were visible to him. He had been studying her when she wasn't looking and from her reactions, she knew he was watching and was disturbed by it.
When breakfast had ended, his father continued to put him in situations that he couldn't get out of... Like walking Tatsuki back to her house after she had clearly said that she could do it on her own since it wasn't that far away.
Now, an hour and a half later, they both walked on a sidewalk, heading towards her house. All he intended to do was walk her and then run away. It was a dumb thing to want to run away, but he didn't know what to say or how to act around her. Her prolonged silence wasn't helping.
The sun beat down on their heads and he thought of how unfair it was for nature to reflect the opposite of what he was feeling. From how Tatsuki kept squinting her eyes against the brightness in badly hidden frustration, he wasn't the only one despising the deceptively merry day. Even birds sang and laughter from houses lining the street were harsh to his ears. Life always continued when one was stuck in nothingness.
He wished that nothingness accompanied him now as a warm summer breeze brushed Tatsuki's dark bangs bringing his attention to her eyes absentmindedly staring ahead of them. At the moment he was feeling too damned much. He was like a shy kid that had done something shameful enough to want to die.
That feeling was easily comparable to what he had experienced after having sex for the first time with Rukia. He had been so damned timid and clueless that he had blushed painfully every freaking time they had been together during that short-lived relationship. However, with Rukia he had always been clumsy, with the girls after her he had been careless and then with Tatsuki it had been so natural in spite of how dumbly ashamed he was feeling afterwards.
He was almost like a kid walking next to his crush who had just rejected him. It hurt, was nerve-wracking and somewhat oddly exciting in a frightening manner riddled with questions like 'What does she think about me after that?'
What a weird way to feel. He hated and yet welcomed it.
Beside him Tatsuki stopped walking suddenly, successfully putting an end to his trail of thoughts. Wondering what had her so frozen and staring fixedly straight ahead, he frowned and followed her wide eyes.
A particular couple was just leaving her house and though a couple of days earlier the sight of them had tortured him, now as he saw Ogichi and Orihime, the pain was nearly unfelt. The pain now was that of when he saw people laughing happily on the street while he felt trampled on.
Impersonal and easily forgotten. Something that he could look past and brush off without lingering side-effects. For once in the past year, the gaping soreness in his chest wasn't present.
"You can go back to your house now, Ichigo," startled that Tatsuki had said something to him after so many anxious hours since they had last 'spoken' in his room, he looked down at her and noted that she probably thought that he was despairing at seeing them.
Clearing his throat and tearing his eyes away from her tensed face, he managed to say lightly, surprising himself, "It's okay!" Her disbelieving eyes glanced at him for the fraction of a second and apparently being satisfied by what she had seen in that short surveying look, she nodded.
He saw the couple look their way and how they looked at him tensely. Well Ogichi was the one glaring at him cooly while Orihime was just surprised. After a couple of seconds, the couple seemed to come to a silent agreement.
Ogichi was the one to approach them as Orihime headed to the steps leading to Tatsuki's front porch. Ichigo didn't need to be told that the Hollow was trying to protect her from the gloom that hovered over him. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't hide what he felt. He had never been good at it and it was laughable that he tried.
Putting both hands in his pockets, he studied the annoyed looking Hollow that for some reason, and in spite of the irritation on his face, there was a smirk begining to form on his lips as he approached them. Why was he smiling as if he had a inner joke?
Ogichi's animal-like yellow-gold eyes kept looking at Tatsuki before scrutanizing him. If Ichigo didn't know any better, he would have said that the bastard was laughing at them.
"Hey, there, Ogichi!" the Hollow's eyes flashed when Ichigo greeted him like nothing was wrong. It was just a small battle won. Usually the Hollow was the one to stun him speechless, not the other way around.
Reaching them, Ogichi scoffed, his eyes sharp.
Without looking at the twitchy Tatsuki, he muttered while his hard stare that saw all stayed on Ichigo's smiling face, "We talked to your mother and she said somethin' about you staying with Ichigo here."
"Ah, yeah that..." Tatsuki began awkwardly, looking away even though the Hollow wasn't even paying attention to her.
"Lil' hime wants to talk to you about some baby stuff." It was almost a polite way to tell her to leave them alone.
Shooting Ichigo a fleeting glance, Tatsuki surprisingly obeyed the Hollow's indirect command, murmuring a low, "See you later, Ichigo." In the past he would have found it odd for her to let Ogichi boss her around, but he knew that she only did it to get away from him.
What the hell does he see when he looks at me?
With Tatsuki stiffly walking away without sparing him a glance, heading towards Orihime that smiled brightly at her from her front porch, Ichigo took in his Hollow's appearance.
He had barely changed from the pallid creature he had inside of him a year ago. The only differences now were that instead of wearing white shinigami robes, he wore jeans and a t-shirt. His once colorless cheeks had a very slight healthy hue. The blackness in his eyes was gone, only leaving humanized orbs with irises that were sometimes too bright to stare at for long.
Another version of him that looked more whole. He still had an air of menace around him, which wasn't new, but now he was strangely complete. Even though he was a part of him, he felt so increadibly disconnected from the similar looking man that smiled easily, laughed loudly and blunty spat everything that popped into his twisted head.
That is why Orihime loves him so much. He doesn't hurt her because in being honest to her, he makes her truly happy. He doesn't ever lie.
That was far more than Ichigo could ever do for anyone. Talking about his feelings, fears and things that made him angry always left him exposed and desperate to find ways to hide. Ogichi had been so right in telling him over the years that he was better than him in every way. Better lover, perhaps better friend, if seeing how he had allowed Tatsuki to escape his presence was a sign of that, and as morbid as it was, a better person in not giving a damn what others thought of him when he said exactly what he thought.
"You fucked Arisawa." The words had been said flatly, with the smallest of mocking hints on the word 'fucked', as if it had double meaning.
Ichigo's heart gave a painful twinge at seeing how Ogichi's smirk slowly began to widen, his eyes so sharp and astute drinking in his expression of dismay.
If Ichigo thought Tatsuki knew too much of him, Ogichi knew far more.
"What makes you...," he swallowed, his face aching in a furious blush though he forcedly mentained eye-contact with the sneering Hollow, "What makes you think that?"
Snorting, Ogichi glanced over at Tatsuki and Orihime who was animately talking to her while all she did was nod and give smiles with short comments that didn't reach their ears.
"I ain't stupid, King. I know shit you wouldn't want people to find out," his smirk was more like a slash on his pale face, his stare now glued on the auburn haired girl that laughed while covering her mouth with one hand bashfully over something Tatsuki muttered . "When you feel too much, I feel what you're goin' through and why. It's a big fuckin' pain in the ass when I stop to think 'bout it though."
"And you find it funny, don't you?" his voice hardened making Ogichi look over at him boredly and unaffected by the icy anger in his tone. "What's happening to me is a sick joke to you? You have everything while I haven't got shit!"
"Relax, King...," the Hollow curled his upper lip in a snarl, "I'm just pointin' out the obvious. You fucked Arisawa and your excitement over it just confused me." amusement entered his bored stare. "I didn't think she'd be your type, but goin' by how damned horny you were, you liked it more than those other sappy dumbasses you've been bangin'. Even more than the Kuchiki bitch you had droned so much about lovin' and whatnot."
His eyes widened in disbelieving outrage. Ogichi... He fucking knew everything that was wrong with him!
"Have you told her?!" he breathed, hoping that the Hollow being a blabber mouth hadn't spoken a word of how disgusting he had become.
Annoyance crossed Ogichi's face.
"What do you fuckin' take me for, Ichigo?! I'm not as big a failure as you. She knows you're depressed as shit, but not what you're doin' 'bout it. I'm tired of her crying so much over your ass to add more to it." By 'her' they both knew that they were speaking of Orihime.
Some tension left his shoulders and his breathing that had begun to speed at the thought of his secret being discovered evened.
"Why... why would she cry for me?"
"Still a clueless bastard," Ogichi remarked, barking out a laugh. After that short laugh, distaste had his pale lips thin and his eyes glow in pure dislike. "She's cryin' over you because you are bein' an idiot, that's why she cries. And if it weren't for me being connected to someone as pitiful as you, I would kill you just to cut the stupid shit. This Arisawa bullshit just topped my list."
That was when he knew why he had gotten rid of Tatsuki... because hurting her would be the same as hurting Orihime.
"So that's why you're even talking to someone as clueless as me?" his question was said through his teeth and the Hollow just smirked.
Damned sneaky Hollow. He glared at the albino spitefully. How he ached to fight him like they had many times in the past... If he did so at that moment it would have been a fair battle. Ogichi was stronger than most humans when in his 'body', but he was nothing compared to what he had been in his inner world. If they had begun to exchange blows at the present time, it would have been more even on either side.
"If it makes you feel good, believe whatever the fuck you want, King. And to answer your question," an odd flash passed his eyes that Ichigo couldn't read into, "Stop being so fuckin' pathetic for once in your life and quit sinkin' in even more shit! It's really annoyin' the hell outta me!"
He could only hopelessly stare at the Hollow in dumb gaping amazement as he cooly walked away from him abruptly ending their conversion as if he hadn't said anything at all.
"What...?! Damn it, Ogichi! Come back here!"
What the hell was that just now?! So deeply shocked he watched as Ogichi that now stood among the girls acted like nothing strange had just been said between them. Like always, the bastard had to stun the crap out of him with some strange remark. It was almost oddly comical how he always managed to have the upperhand in both battle and verbal sparring.
This time instead of merely insulting him, crushing what little he had left in him like in the past, Ogichi had actually advised him. Ichigo really had to hand it to the Hollow for stooping low enough to say something of that nature just to win a 'fight'.
Like everyone back in Karakura, he hadn't changed one bit, no matter how 'human' he forced himself to be.
***
The weekend went and passed like it was supposed to. Time never came to an end, and sometimes thoughts lingered, just as much as shame itself.
Tatsuki felt like crap after what had happened in Ichigo's room. Throughout the weekend, she couldn't stop thinking about what she had done. In a way, she wanted to blame Ichigo but couldn't bring herself to. It had been a weak moment and a huge mistake. At least... that was what she tried to force herself to think so that the truth wouldn't hurt.
She had felt close to him. It made hurt her head whenever she wondered if he had felt anything other than pleasure... If he had felt as connected as her. Ichigo was a different person. It was something she reminded herself constantly, but no matter how hard she tried, she had felt something that night. While it had all been taking place, there only had been the embarassment of being seeing naked and of experiencing new things with someone that used to be so close to her. One would think that she would be ashamed of being with a stranger, but with Ichigo who had painstakingly made an effort to make her comfortable enough to accept him, it had been even more shameful.
Shameful because he was accostumed to another side of her... Not considering herself sexual or even curious about sex made the whole experience more personal than she would have wanted. Ichigo's true thoughts were more shuttered than in the past and the connection they had once shared was now a gaping vacant spot between them. The sex, in spite of being just a lustful moment in their long friendship, had given them more, even if it was just for a short while.
Their barrier had been replaced by something intense. No friendship had existed between them in those moments... Just two people wanting to join bodies. When he had shuddered to fall on her in such a way that his weight didn't crush her chest, she had sensed a frightening dose of intimacy just briefly until he thanked her.
Why did he have to thank her?! Those weakly whispered words had everything crash on her so suddenly that she couldn't wait to get away from him. It was like he was grateful that she had served as a last minute fix. Or that was what she thought.
His face had been so confused when she had left his room. Like he didn't understand why she didn't wish to stay longer with him.
Tatsuki knew that it was because she didn't want to be hurt. It wasn't that she saw Ichigo in a romantic light, but if she had allowed him to continue pleasuring her and creating that strange feeling... the one of two spirits touching after being apart for so long... she would have been hurt if it turned out to all be a lie.
She was so damned confused and it scared her! Fear was a rare emotion in her so to feel puzzlement, yearning and that odd apprehensive sensation taunt her heart until making it ache at the thought of the detached Ichigo, the wretchedness within her grew.
Could they ever be the same again? Would this separate them or bring them closer? She had a feeling that it would separate them, yet there was the hope that something good and meaningful could come out of it.
Healing Ichigo had always been her main goal.
After abandoning his room, numbed by what had happened, she had gone to the bathroom to clean herself the best she could without making too much noise. That act itself had been sobering. Being in a silent small space with bright artifial lighting, cleaning away what he had left inside of her, had been a reminder. It had felt as if he was still with her, or at least part of him was. Just thinking of him 'leaving' a part of himself within her body was enough to have her cheeks scorchingly heating. She didn't even understand why she had thought that he was with her by the mere fact that he had 'finished' inside. It was just an odd symbolism, she supposed. That physical remnant he had given her had been washed away that very night, yet left that lingering sensation of merging even days later.
"Tatsuki... Sweeeeeeeety? You only have foooooooooorty minutes to get ready for class!" her mother's voice sang out, interrupting her dream full of questions.
Mumbling incoherencies, she rolled on her bed so that she laid on her stomach, kicking off her blankets in the process. The room was warm in spite of it being morning, and for some reason just lying there felt too good to pass up.
"Tatsuuuuuuuuuki I bought you a new dreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeess...!"
That had her jerking her head off her pillow, fully alert.
"Damn, I'm good!" her mother exclaimed proudly.
Blinking away the sleep from her eyes, she turned on the bed to lay on her back.
"Honestly, sweety, you can't stay in bed forever."
Knowing that her mother was actually talking about how she had stayed holed up in her room for the whole weekend, Tatsuki closed her eyes and took a deep labored breath, while covering her eyes from the early morning sun with an arm.
"Whatever it is that's bothering you, it can't be bad enough to stop wanting to live..." Surprised at her usually jovial mother's words, her eyes snapped to her to only see the older woman giving her a gentle smile before leaving her.
Thinking over what she had just said, Tatsuki forced herself to get ready for her morning classes. Just the typical morning routine of showering, throwing on the first thing she found in her closet and finger-combing her hair because she couldn't find her hairbrush. The stupid thing only disappeared when she needed it.
All she had for breakfast was juice and with that only filling her stomach, she walked over to the local university. Usually she took the bus there, but she prefered to walk there in order to give her thoughts some sense of balance. If she went to class thinking about Ichigo and his problems, she wouldn't be able to get anything done.
Pushing all thoughts of what had transpired between them that night, she could see the many connected buildings of the university. Whoever had built it must have been a madman because all of the buildings were of different sizes and were joined by long narrow halls and breeze-ways. It was easy for anyone to get lost in it like Orihime who had to call her during her afternoon classes because she had gotten stuck in one of the buildings, which pushed her to make a map of the place.
Finding the thought of her other close friend funny, she smiled almost sadly. Orihime was so excited with the arrival of her baby that the girl had literally made her a permanent part of all of her planning. It was sweet to think of such things because Orihime's happiness was contagious. Whenever around her, she almost felt like laughing about the dumbest of things, joking and forgetting her own troubles.
I haven't seen her this whole weekend. Maybe I should call her to hang out later, even if Ogichi tags along.
The Hollow had made her feel increadibly uncomfortable after Ichigo had left for his own house that one morning. There had been measuring stares and sometimes barely audible snickering. He wasn't being openly mean, but his attitude spoke volumes of just how much he knew without being told.
I just hope that he didn't blab it off to Orihime-chan. She might be over Ichigo, but I don't know how she would react...
Seeing someone walking further ahead of her that seemed just as dejected, with lowered shoulders and slowed steps, she frowned upon recognizing who it was.
"Oi, Ishida!"
Flinching in surprise, he stopped and turned slightly to look at her. His blue eyes were wide behind his glasses and she almost laughed at how stunned he was at seeing her walking the same as him. He didn't like taking public transportation and even though his father had enough money to buy him a whole warehouse of cars, Uryuu who wanted nothing to do with him, chose to live by himself in a small apartment close to the campus and walked there.
"Arisawa-san," pushing up his glasses that constantly fell over the bridge of his nose, he coughed, "this is an unexpected surprise."
She snorted with an eyeroll, reaching his side. She noted that there was something off with him. Like he was nervous and trying to futilely hide it.
"What's up with you?" she asked, starting to walk once more and was somewhat relieved that he decided to stay beside her. The thought of heading off to the university alone after finding someone she knew didn't seem all that good, especially if said person was so twitchy. If she saw something was wrong, she instinctively pointed it out and tried to fix it. It was annoying at times, but it came out naturally.
"Ah... nothing."
"Yeah, right!" a laught left her and he smiled faintly at her before looking towards the clutter of buildings ahead of them. "There seems to be some kind of bug going around that depresses people and I was wondering if you caught it."
Her tactic was starting to take effect.
A blush ate away the paleness of his cheeks as a frown marred his face.
"My problems are... complicated, Arisawa-san. I don't consider them worth speaking of."
Believe me... problems are commonplace.
"Ishida," she sighed heavily, shooting him a sideways glance. "We all have those days. Even a couple of days back... I had one of those days." And still do. "It hurts, but it can't be helped."
"Are you speaking of Kurosaki's return?"
"Yeah...," uncomfortable by how he had just turned the subject away from him, she bit her lower lip before asking,"Are you and your mystery girl having problems?"
It was a welcome relief when he paled at her question. If she didn't want to talk about Ichigo, Uryuu definitely didn't want to talk about his 'girlfriend'.
"She's fine...," at hearing that she thought it was all that he woudl say, only to be shocked to hear him add in a very low tone,"It's me that has been giving her problems."
No one could hold in things for long and even Uryuu needed to talk things out in order to release them.
"Afraid of commitment?"
"No," he shook his head with a strained smile. "I sometimes... feel so much that I fear losing her."
Whoa, overload! Not wanting to scare him off, she nodded while mentaining a solemn expression.
"Have you ever felt something for someone and knowing that the other person feels the same way too, you still are uncertain?" some faint anguish showed on his face.
Her brows shot up at his question.
"You don't trust her?"
"I...," his face tensed. "I do trust her. I just don't trust others around her."
Realizing that he had disclosed something that perhaps the rest of the group didn't know, she murmured, "Then tell her your feelings to make it more official. You said something about her already knowing it, so," one of her shoulders lifted in shrug, and in spite of feeling odd talking about something so personal, she felt she was giving the right advise, "tell her until she's sure of it even if you have to say something bad about her buddies. If she truly cares about you, she won't give a crap about them anymore."
"I doubt that, Arisawa-san. The problem is larger than I had first anticipated. She can't get out of it now."
Larger problems?
"Ishida...," her eyes narrowed as she asked slowly, "Exactly, who is this girl?"
His face became neutral at that and she knew that their conversation was over when his eyes moved away from her face and focused ahead of them.
"We should head to class, Arisawa-san, or we'll be late."
Avoidance mode extraordinare.
"Yeah, you're right," she agreed, though annoyed at how he had just steered the subject of the girl's identity away.
All he did was nod without uttering further words.
Sighing mentally at that, she wondered if there indeed was a bug infecting the air in Karakura...
A clingy heart disease that made people lovesick and helplessly confused.
***
A/N: Yes, I made it 'awkward' for them; I love creating conflicts though they're resolved in the long run. For my fic followers; you know that things sometimes get pretty depressing and psychological *winces*. I like the 3-D expressiveness it gives characters. And how about Ogichi, huh?! He's smarter than people think! ;-). Please rate and/or review! Responses to your wonderful reviews are: http://lehotmims.easyjournal.com/entry.aspx?eid=9296177 { Forum doesn't mix well with browser. Avoiding long A/N's. If you left me a review, the response is there! =) }
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Salvation